6 Signs That Prove Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (And What To Do With Them)

2,943 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (The Definitive Guide)”

Nik

February 9, 2015 at 7:29 pm

Hi there, I was going out with a guy for a year and we were very close and told each other we loved one another. We broke up because he was planning on moving overseas long term within six months and thought the closer we got the more difficult it would become. He contacted me constantly a couple of weeks later and within a month were back together. We continued for a couple of months then the subject came up again and I decided it was time to face facts. However, he left it wide open and said the future is not written and that if he came back we might work. He immediately started talking to another girl and was dating her within a week. Smells like rebound to me. What do you think? He is due to leave for overseas in two months time. Thank you

admin

February 10, 2015 at 3:36 pm

Definitely smells like a rebound to me too.

Steffi

February 7, 2015 at 4:26 am

Hi Chris,

Like I’ve mentioned my ex & I have dated for 4 years plus. But to him, for the past 3 years was bad memories to him.

A week after the breakup, he started hanging out with another girl.
Currently, a month have passed, I guess they are currently dating but they are not official together yet.

If they eventually get together, will it consider as a rebound? As my friends kept telling me it’s not a rebound. What do you think?

admin

February 9, 2015 at 3:56 pm

It would fall into that territory.
Steffi

February 10, 2015 at 1:41 am

What territory do you mean?
Steffi

February 7, 2015 at 4:43 am

Sorry Chris. Got to add on that they are already in contact last year as friends while we are back together in November.

Kim

February 6, 2015 at 9:28 am

this is going to be a pretty long story. met him off of a dating site that i was taking a break from because of a recent failed relationship. he messaged me and being that he actually read my profile and asked me if i was still on break or coming off of break being i was on? i said im still on break just reading trying to figure out men.lol we messaged back and forth for a while and i asked him what he was looking for and he said sex. i said but your profile says looking for a relationship/dating. but since he said sex i told him he might as well keep moving because he wasnt going to get it here. but since he knew sex was off the table we ended up exchangeing numbers and talked for hours and im talking 4-5-6 hours a night. he would text and call me everyday and everynight. so with all of that let me start off first and say that me and my ex were best friends to start off for aprox 5-6 months. we told each other every and anything. he would come to my appartment to visit and he would play with my yorkie and asked me why is it that he watches me and looks at me all the time but i dont achknowledge that he is doing it. i responded with the truth that i was enjoying him playing with my yorkie and had no idea he was looking at me. we always teased with each other back and forth with some small sexual comment that was harmless. untill my birthday of 2014 he sent me a picture of his man hood and said happy birthday. i messaged back telling him that i couldnt believe he actually did that. i said all we were doing was teasing with each other. then he said being he did let me barrow money all the time that he needed to start getting some interest on what he let me barrow. i said but i always pay you back. he said he should get something being hes the one that is helping me but i keep talking and going out with other guys. i said but you have my total friendship, but he said it wasnt fair and he said what he would like to have for certain amounts of money that i would barrow. but im not going to put what he was wanting, but i did ask him if he was really serious about what he asked then he said no he was just saying it to see what i would say and that is what most men would want if they helped me like he has. so a week passed and he got me thinking, so i asked him if he wouldnt mind messing around with me but no sex and no kissing. at first he said no he didnt want to and i was ok with that. but the reason i wanted to is because my last relationship ended bad because after being with him for 3 months and finally being with him made me feel sick and used, so bad to the point i had to leave his house that night. it just felt wrong and that is why i wanted to do this with him as a friend just to see if i would feel so sick and bad about my self. a couple days later he agreed to do what i asked and we did. no sex and no kissing but it was amazing, after we were done he held me and i told him i had this feeling of trusting him completely and feeling safe with him. and i have never had this feeling before. and i remember say i guess its like when a dog knows that a person is a good person, a dog just knows. well the next day i called him and told him i didnt feel bad about what i did and he said he felt very bad. i asked how can you feel bad when you were just with a woman a month ago and you had sex with her. he said he didnt know but he did and didnt want to do it anymore. and i said that was fine and no biggy. during this friendship/relationship he was divorced from his exwife for over a year and a half now. on one occasion something happened between him and her that really hurt his feelings and at that point i told him he was still in love with her. he said he still loved her but no longer was in love with her. well i could see different. but anyhow a few weeks later he called and messaged me telling me he wasnt going to work because his house was a mess and wanted to know if i wanted to come over and clean to make some extra money to go on vacation. but for some odd reason my gut told me not to go but i didnt listen to it because he sounded upset and as if he had been crying. lets just say i should have listen to my gut….i did forgive him for what he did because i thought he was truly sorry and disgusted with him self for what he had done. then about three weeks later he wanted to come over and we mess around and he treated me as if he loved me. we didnt have sex that night but he made me feel safe again. i figure he was trying to show me how sorry he was for doing what he did. he stayed the night and told me things the next day that not even his mom, dad or ex wife even knew about. after a couple more times of being together with him he told me he was having feelings that he didnt want to have. then during the summer his ex wife stayed with him while the new house she bought was being remodled for about 3 months. right before she moved in he was at my place one last time because he knew that once she moved in that if he was wanting to be back with her then that was his time to try to see where it would go and i would no longer be with him in that way. he told me that if he was to get back with his ex that i would be his misstress and i told him no i wouldnt. he said yes you will and i said i wont, i am not like that. and then he said yes you will and you heard what i said. and i said you heard what i said and i will not…but during the three months that we didnt see each other he text and call me every chance he could get when she wasnt around and every night for an hour when he got off work until she got home from work.(they work at the same place just different times) i asked him if he has done anything to try to let her know he still loves her and he said no. i asked why not, and he had no answer. other then one time he went to lay on the bed to watch tv with her and she got up and grabbed her blanket and pillow and went and slept on the couch. then three months later after we talked for an hour until she came home he called me back about a hour later and told me she was out in a car talking to some guy came in packed a small bag and left. and she didnt come back. he told her he like her being there and she just gave him a look like whatever…then he was coming back to me. we would be together and one night i felt something touching my face and when i opened my eyes he was on his side looking at me touching my face and moving my hair, he did a couple times. then the next day i asked him over the phone why he was doing that he said in a nervouse voice, i dont know i guess your pretty, do you have a problem with it? i said no i just never had anyone do that before. then another night i woke up to him touching my hand and fingers, and one night he told me that he was addicted to me and that he tried to fight it and no matter how much he fought it,, it won. i didnt and still dont know what he meant by what he said, but i did say addiction isnt a good thing. but he just smiled. then things started happening that made me not trust him. i was supposed to go to his house on a wednesday after he got off of work but when i called he said it would be best if i was to wait and come the next day because his ex wife was supposed to come and get the rest of her stuff from staying there during the summer. i told him ok but i was bad and drove over there and yes he was telling the truth, i passed her as she got ready to pull into his drive way. so the next day i go over and he wanted to mess around and i didnt and he ended up going to sleep and i wanted to get up and go into town and do some shopping but he said it would be best if i just stayed there. but i wasnt tired and i eventually got up and went into his master bathroom and there was a bathing suit and bra on the back of the door inside out and they did feel damp and he does have an ingrowned pool. so i took pictures to make sure i had evidence and when i got back from town i woke him up then questioned him about them. he said he had no idea whos they were or why they were on the back of the door. i asked does he think his ex wife would do that on purpose to start trouble between him and someone, he said no she wouldnt do something like that. but it put some trust issues between us. now i did do something bad but i did have a good excuse for doing it. i got on his phone and got some contact info because i wantede to know if he did what he did to me the second time to any other women, and i did call one and only asked her if he has ever done anything bad towards her and she said no. and i left it at that. but when this woman contacted him and told him what had happened he knew it was me. and i remember when we talked that day he had been crying and i found out later that was the day he found out what i did and that is why he was crying. then things would get better but he would never take me out to eat. but after a year and a few months he finally did. then took me out again right before we had a big argument and broke up. i know he had social phobia but i dont know if that would have anything to do with that or not. but anyhow i was always at his house from the time he would get off on friday night until monday afternoon when he would leave for work. then one weekend he said he didnt want me staying till monday when he would go to work he wanted me to leave sunday. i couldnt understand so i ask him why. he said he just needed time to him self, and i said but you have all week to your self, he got kinda mad and said if i wanted to come over then that is the way it was going to be.so even after a rocky weekend because of things that was said and went on and even though i was going to leave sat he cried and i stayed and held him. and agian on sunday we had some words and i was leaving and he cried agsin andi held him. but when i asked could i just stay and leave in the morning he said no, dont you think it would be best if you were to leave like we had planned. he really upset me because i stayed and held him because he was crying and he couldnt even let me stay till monday? really? so the following weekend i was coming over again from friday evening after work till monday. because this was the 3 year marker of my mom being gone and he knew how much my mom means and meant to me. but what was weird is that monday evening he asked me if i would like to come over and stay the week. he texted me and said he shaved and worked out and got into his tanning bed on the 12th of nov at 5:45 am in the morning. now why he texted me this i have no idea. but i ended up getting there on the 12th at 11:30 pm. i went into his bedroom to put my stuff in there and saw a used condom with two pieces of chewed gum stuck to it. now i could have made a mistake and it couldive been the next day but either way i know it wasnt from us because i remember him saying he had such dry mouth so i know he wasnt chewing gum. so i left and went and did some shopping and when i came back the condom was gone. i texted him at work and asked him what he did with the condom that we used because i didnt wnat merl to get ahold of it. no reply so i asked again, then replied to my text but notheing about the condom. so i told him i was leaving. he was mad and told me if i left with it being the weekend and him getting to spend time with me he would be more pissed then i have ever seen him. but i left and messaged him if he could talk without being more pissed then i have ever seen him i would be back to talk. he said he would be civil and talk. he denied of ever putting a condom in the trash and he said he didnt take it out. i was like, well it didnt grow legs and walk away. so he stuck to his story and swears he has no idea what i was talking about. same story about the bathing suit and bra on the back of the bathroom door. but i stayed the weekend and we went out to eat but he took me clear across town to eat. he made me feel as if he didnt want anyone to find out about me because there were two steak places right in the main part of town. he said he just wanted to take me to the nicest place. but if your wondering if i ever met his parents. yes i did, but that is because i told him i was done because i felt like a dirty secret that no one knew about. but once i told him i was done the next day he told me to get ready because he was taking me to his parents house. and when i was talking to his mom she had told me that they have been asking him if he was ever going to find a good woman and bring her around to meet them, and he said when he does meet someone he is serious about he would bring her around. but she didnt know if that is why he brouht me around or not. she said that he talked about a girl that lived in (my town) a lot. so when it comes to that i have no idea. but back to the end of my story. on monday the day i was suppose to leave he asked me to stay another day so i did. he said he was glad i stayed and couldnt wait till he got home. later that night we had sex and it was like he didnt care about me that night, he didnt even kiss me. so i rolled over and said something that he said i better never say again and with out thinking i said it but that is because that is how he made me feel. i told him he made me feel like ace made me feel. the guy that i felt sick to my stomach etc after we had sex, like i could tell i was being used. lets just say i paid for it the next day. he was so mean when i woke up. he said very mean and hatefull things and i mean very bad things. so i told him i was done. he followed me around as i gathered my things and i told him he didnt have to do that because i wasnt going to take anything, he was actually scaring me with what he said to me. he also said he wished he never had met me and wished he had never let me barrow then money he let me barrow. i said i was sorry for him wishing he never met me but im still greatful that he let me barrow the money he let me barrow or else my yorkie wouldnt be here. (he let me borrow 22oo.oo no questions asked) and i told him reguardless what he thought of me he would always have a special place in my heart for letting me borrow that money to save my yorkie. so when i was ready to leave he started crying again and said he was sorry and he didnt know why he says the things that he says and would i please forgive him. and cried and begged and i told him i couldnt. so i left. then i figured i would go to his ex wife and waited for her to get off of work and ask her something that was very important. and when i met her in the parking lot and was ready to ask her she already said something to me. dont want to get into that part. but then she said to me , so you are the secret…. and with everything we talked about didnt phase her a bit. it was only till i showed her a video of how much my yorkie loved him and how he was smilling and laughing and that is when she started to change in the way she acted. she told me she didnt want nothing to do with him that is why she picked up her pillow and blanket and went and slept on the couch when he laid in the bed that night. she said a lot of bad things about him. mean things, cut down his man hood, you name she said it. but then she started playing woe is me to get pitty from him. me and him talked and he still wanted to be in me and my yorkies life, that is until she started threatening to kill her self and she made sure that both me and him knew what she planned to do. but when he got to her house she only cut her legs and i believe it was for attention. so he told me he was going to tell her the truth about everything. all the lies he told to cover up the truth that i told her. but he was still willing to be in me and my yorkies life. that is until he talked to her the next day and she wanted to be with him and and then he texted me and told me he wouldnt contact me anymore, and good bye kim. and it has been almost 3 months since i have talked to him. i found out from his mom that that she (his mom) bought him a yorkie for christmas. and i know that his ex wife isnt to happy about the yorkie, his mom asked him the other day if she has come to like the yorkie any better and he said she said she is to much a bother. i told his mom how she acted when she seen how happy he was when my yorkie was giving him kisses, it was like she didnt want him to be happy. and here she has to put up with a reminder of what he once was with. so my questions are this….here this woman his ex wife that wanted nothing to do with him was back in his bed 5 days after i was in it with him. could this be a rebound even know it is his ex wife? and if she loved him so much and if he was in love with her so much why didnt they show or tell each other when she was staying with him for 3 months over the summer? and why did he always call me and text me everyday if he really wanted her? this story is long but i did leave a lot out of it but its complicted. but it would have took forever…. but what did he mean he was addicted to me and that he tried to fight it for a long time but no matter how much he faught it, it won? and i did break the no contact rule but i didnt know this existed until after the fact. i do love him and love him a lot. and i would love to have him back. his mom told me that she dont see how they will make it work because it is the same thing that it was when they were married.. should i tell him that i no longer am happy for him and i hope there relationship fails because i love him and i want him. in one of his text that he sent me was that if i never got onto his phone none of this would be happening. and stupid me said if you wouldnt have done to me what you did the 2nd time none of this would have happened. i just turned 44 and he is 52. i have only been with 3 men in my life. my daughters dad and i was with him for 24 years then the second guy for aprox 3 months and then my best friend who i miss dearly. can you pleas let me know if this sounds like its a rebound even if it is his ex wife and will i ever be able to get him back. but i did learn from his mom that he does get my text messages and reads them but he dont reply back. i think that is a good sign being he told me he was blocking me. so please help me. i am lost, not only my head my heart but also my soul… thank you, kim…

admin

February 6, 2015 at 2:33 pm

My first piece of advice is are you going to do the no contact rule?

denise

February 6, 2015 at 6:16 am

My ex broke up with me last Wednesday, he told me “in a week i will be willing to try again” and then he kissed me. I gave him his space and in a week i asked him what was up and he said “I don’t ever want to be with you again and i do not want to talk to you.” I asked him when he was planning on telling me this and he said “I realized this on Friday (two days after we broke up) and I was going to tell you whenever you asked.

Couple days after we talked he is out holding hands with another girl, I think they are in a relationship now. He moved on in a week. Is there any hope at all? How could he move on so fast and does he hate me?

admin

February 6, 2015 at 2:31 pm

Rebound… How long did you date him for?

Anonymous

February 6, 2015 at 12:10 am

Hello,

My ex boyfriend and I dated for three and a half years and things were always really good with us. This last summer we had to have a long distance relationship, which made everything harder, but we were still doing well. About a month ago he moved permanently to another state and we had decided to try to make things work until both of us knew more about where we wanted to be permanently in the future. However, after three weeks of living in the new state, he unexpectedly broke up with me. He said we wanted different things and it wouldn’t work since we didn’t live in the same state. I understood, until two days later I saw on social media that he had a new girlfriend already. I confronted him and he swears they met after our breakup and he moved on from me quickly. I just don’t understand how you can be so emotionally invested with someone, talking about marriage and kids one day, and then already ready to enter into a new relationship so soon. Throughout our relationship there were some, but very few references to eachother on social media, we were more private. Now with his new girlfriend, there are posts about eachother and pictures constantly. He seems to be serious with this girl, they act like they have been together for much longer than a week, and I don’t understand it. My questions to you are:
1). Do you think she is just a rebound to distract him?
2). Or is it more likely he cheated, or lied about when he started talking to her?

I have been completely confused as to what is going on. I would just like to get an opinion from someone who can be up front and honest without trying to spare my feelings.

Thank you!

admin

February 6, 2015 at 2:19 pm

The social media stuff varies from couple to couple.

1. It is very possible.
2. Did he have the classic cheater signs towards the end?
Anonymous

February 6, 2015 at 4:51 pm

No, not at all. We had talked about every visiting him. He said that he wanted a life with me. We talked all day long everyday, Skyped, etc. the new girl is much younger and very different than me.

@my

February 5, 2015 at 5:07 am

This guy and I dated for 7-8 months. First relationship in yrs for both of us. We def had that za za zoo. Lovey, make eachother better good stuff. I Took him home to meet my family, (he paid) went on a few vacations and met his family. Helped me with bills when I was stuck. Talked marriage, kids…travel, business plans. We def had the memories built. BUT. He liked to have his ego stroke by other chicks and I kept finding out, so I split. Then the on again off again until right before Christmas he tells me he might be moving. Whoa? Ok. So we stopped talking did the whole n/c. He messages me a few times “I miss u” I didn’t budge. Until after 30 days n some change. Come to find out that he was planning the move 2 days later. Again, whoa. We met up n he said his sappy stuff, then mega goodbye kiss I guess. The next day I see pics of him and another girl meeting his grandma…. Rebound? I’m ticked. Why didn’t it work! Haha damnittt.

admin

February 5, 2015 at 3:45 pm

Did he ever see any of those chicks in person?

flora

February 4, 2015 at 7:08 pm

My boyfriend and I dated for 2 years. We never had any disagreements as we talked through issues as they arose….or so I thought. After spending the weekend together where he made no mention of his feelings being anything less than normal, he TEXTED me to tell me that I was not meeting his needs and he felt that he needed to break up with me. He hoped we could remain friends. I wished him well and went no contact. (I will never beg for someone to love me)
The only conversation we had was through email when I requested some personal items back (this was about 7 weeks after he sent the text) He seemed angry with me and said I never got to know him and I always have to be right. (this was all news to me) I asked him to allow me to heal and he replied that I would never hear from him again.
I recently found out that he is in an exclusive relationship which began less than a month after we broke up (and before the only email we exchanged)
Rebound or did he never really love me?

admin

February 5, 2015 at 3:20 pm

The girl who he rebounded with. Did he know her while you two were dating?
flora

February 12, 2015 at 10:58 pm

I honestly don’t know. I am guessing that he must have…

Mickey

February 4, 2015 at 1:39 pm

I have been married for 28 years, of that 28 years 17 were spent in an affair with a single man. He was a huge part of our family and became very good friends with my husband. Long story short…out of the blue one day he emails me and tells me he has been texting this other woman and claims the reason he did this is because he didn’t think I loved him anymore. Basically placed all of the blame on me. Anyway….this man lived in our home and we work at the same place. It was very hard for me to watch him in the beginning of this relationship because he seemed extremely happy, giddy and very excited. It seems though that the last couple of months that he doesn’t seem quite as happy. Is it possible this was a rebound relationship and now he realizes it?

admin

February 4, 2015 at 2:32 pm

Oh my…

17 year affair and your husband didn’t figure that out?

You want a relationship with this guy you are having an affair with?
Mickey

February 4, 2015 at 3:09 pm

No, the relationship with the guy I was having an affair with is over. Because of what he did and how he went about things after the relationship ended I am finding myself not wanting revenge but wanting him to hurt to his core and feel the pain me and my family felt. We still work together and I have seen the changes in him…no longer the happy go lucky guy he was when he first started the relationship with this other woman so my thought is it isn’t as great as he imagined it would be and realizes the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Rebound relationship is what I was thinking?

Lin

February 4, 2015 at 6:10 am

I broke up with my fiancé 4 months ago as I got cold feet and was not sure whether I will be happy in a marriage. And so I left him cold heartedly saying that I fell out of love. Because of my stubbornness I refused to talk to him and I just needed space and time to think about and at the same time telling him to just move on because there is no point. I realise now the one thing I regreted was the lack of communication I had with him and I didn’t give him the chance to change and tell him why I felt this way and kept all my problems to myself. I regreted this so much and have come to a realization that I do love him, I love him because he the first guy j have dated that has treated me so well and will do anything for me. So recently I have told him I wanted to give this relatjonship a second go and he told me That although I have hurt him so bad he will always unconditionally love me no matter what, but unfortunately he told me as much as he wants to get with me he can’t because he has finally moved on and said maybe in future we may get back together If it was meant to be. He told me he has a gf of 1 month, although initially he denied it but I found out. And I asked him how could he move on so quick and that I don’t want to wait for him to choose me or her. And I told him he either chooses me or we cut all ties. But he was beating around the bush and saying he doesn’t want to stop talking to me and that he still wants me in his life and that no girl will ever compare to me. He even said he doesn’t even love his current gf and will probably never forget me. Which is why I don’t understand why he would stick around with that girl and not get back with me if he is still in love with me.

admin

February 4, 2015 at 2:24 pm

Hmm… He is probably really hurt because of that…

The leaving him at the alter.

Danielle

February 3, 2015 at 10:34 pm

this may seem a little long but please bear with me. I dated my ex for about a year and four months. I’m the one that initially broke it off, saying we should take a “break” and maybe talk to other people. my reasoning was this: I felt he wasn’t putting as much effort. however I look back and i see he was actually putting in the most effort he ever has, it was me pushing him away. additionally, I realize now beneath the surface I was also a bit bored , but again I attribute that to the issues I was having. some important details are that I was diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, and bipolar depression/ borderline during our relationship. the bipolar is hereditary but everything else came about as a result of trauma in my childhood that resurfaced. when I was diagnosed I was a horrible person to be around, but he stuck by me nevertheless. so I got help and things went well. around our 11 month I found out he cheated on me. he had kissed another girl around the time we broke up (our two month , it was over the girl he cheated on me with, he said he still liked her) it was a one time thing , and he had hid it from me because he was scared to lose me. when we had broken up around our two month we got back together the next day, he said he really cared for me and the other girl didn’t matter because they only “talked” for about two weeks. he thought his feelings for her would go away when he dated me since they talked for such a short period of time but apparently not. back to before, I found out around our 11 month and then our relationship took a turn for the worst. probably the most horrible day of my relationship. I had seen old messages from girls on his iPad when he was at school(I had slept over the night before and felt sick so I just stayed at his house, my phone died and I needed to contact him so I used his iPad to text him). I had a gut wrenching feeling there would be incriminating stuff on there, and in fact there was, around our half year he had flirted with girls (I saw it way worse then than I do now, I really don’t think it’s a big deal bc he’s just flirty in general, all he really did was emojis and winky faces and call someone cute). after coming across the messages I freaked out on him, his reaction was odd and he didn’t deny it, he immediately knew what I was talking about even though it was five months prior. he begged me to give him a chance to speak, so I waited for him to get out of school in the midst of a meltdown, and when he got back he explained himself . i had a feeling he cheated on me so when I asked he didn’t really say yes or no, even though in the past he always denied it. I said if he didn’t tell me truth, that i would walk out on him and our relationship was done for good. he told me and my world came tumbling down. the messages became a meaningless issue and now the cheating was the center of my pain. he cried and pleaded me not to go, and he never ever cried, especially over a girl. he had a full on anxiety arrack when I tried to leave, I never saw him so distraught. I calmed him down and decided to give him another chance since I did find out about 9 months later and a lot has changed during that time. I told him my trust was jaded and he would have to deal with that and try to repair this, I said he had to face the consequences of his choice if he wanted to be with me. so our relationship steadily improved up until about our 14.5 months. then I started to decline (but for entirely different reasons, my medication started to give me bad mental side effects) . okay that’s the background info. so here we go with me explaining the past like four months in semi-detail.

the middle of October is about when I called the break. I was impulsive, I wanted to flirt and talk to new guys for a while and then get back with my ex , hoping it would show us how much we love each other. so we texted for a couple weeks during our break, and would always check in asking if we talked to or hooked up with anyone. neither of us did. then I hooked up with a cute senior from my school, I kinda caught a bit of feelings, but my ex only found out that I hooked up with him. he was livid. he didn’t flip tho because we had both agreed on it. the thing was he didn’t think I would ACTUALLy hookup with someone, and honestly neither did I. It just happened. so that’s when he was kinda like “I need some space” and blah blah. after I hooked up with the kid I realized I only wanted my ex, but my ex just needed to “do his own thing” and “focus on himself”. keep in mind too that he didn’t want us to take a break, he only agreed when I kept pushing for it. I tried leaving him be and what not but honestly I wanted to get back so bad and he kept saying not now and whatever, he was still mad even though he tried to say he wasn’t. so I was like ok and did my own thing. one day I convinced him that we need to have a long talk and discuss things. I ended up going over his house, this was probably sometime between two weeks after our four month and a month after. we ended up cuddling watching tv and stuff , bc we were trying to rekindle our flame in a way. he kept saying I wasn’t the same, I was different , I had changed, etc. nevertheless we still cuddled and kissed and what not. we ended up having sex. I would say I was the initiator, not him. he had said he loved me three times that day I was with him, once when I said it, the second during sex, and the third when I was leaving his house. he said we needed time apart and what not, but he promised one day he would marry me. throughout our whole relationship we always talked about and planned our future together. I know that’s typical but idk we would always say we were each other’s soul mates. anyway, after that he kept saying It wasn’t the same, I wasn’t the same person he fell in love with. and he was right. I wasn’t. I was careless and not the cautious caring person I used to be. but it was temporary, I was all screwed up from my medicine and he knew that, but somehow he took it to heart. the few weeks where we decided to take a break are very fuzzy to me, I’m not exactly sure why but I’m trying the best I can. time goes on and we still talk here and there . we fight on and off and he says he still loves me then he says he’s over me, it fluctuates. we talk in person a few times during that period. I’m gonna place month names bc it’s starting to get confusing so here we go:

June 2013: we start dating
August 2013: our two month
Dec 2013: our six month
may 2014: our 11 month
July 2014: our 13 month
September 2014: our 15 month
October 2014: our 16 month, we end during this month

alright so like I said before we on and off flirt and text up through November. November 22nd we talk at some party and we end up making out. ironically we were at his future girlfriends house: some freshman girl. we also hookup at the end of October too and when I tell you both of these times were amazing they were. to him he was blind to it bc he saw me as a different person. anyway after nov 22, things grow increasingly worse. he had blocked me before to make me mad , but this time he really starts to block me. it aggravates me so much and all he has to say is that I was annoying, when he knows how much I hate being blocked. I had a party one night (with s group of friends he wouldn’t fit in with so there would be no reason to invite him) and I called him later on that night so we could talk ,and he ended up telling me that when he had said he loved me a week before that it had just “slipped out”, implying he didn’t mean it. but he was with people, a new group of girls and was acting all cool. he lied and said he was alone when I called. the next day or so I end up texting him off my friends phone in the beginning of December after on and off blocking (this time me included) and fighting saying I’m coming over to talk things through bc I don’t want to end my first real relationship in such a childish immature, and how I don’t want to be on bad terms , especially considering he took my virginitty (which is a big deal because it was difficult for me since I was sexually abused) and he was my best friend (and had been since seventh grade when we met) we are now juniors and have had a lot of history together. we always had crushes on each other since we met, every time we would talk we would like each other , but we lived in different towns so it was hard to see each other and we ended up just always dating other people. but somehow we would always come back to each other . it took him a few weeks to get the balls to ask me out back in freshman year, and he later told me it was because he saw me as someone so special and different, he was scared to be rejected by me . also keep in mind that this kid is a huge flirt, like big time, if he saw something he liked he went for it, but with me he was always hesitant. additionally it was hard for me to give him up because he stuck by me through my mental decline and never ever judged me. he was he first non-asshole I ever talked to, as i usually used to go for the jerks and players. he was the first person I introduced to my family, and they LOVED him (his family liked me too). they still always ask about him. they trusted him with me. okay so a lot of firsts here, I probably am leaving a lot out due to forgetting but please ignore the fact that we are teenagers and just take my story seriously, regardless of age. we were literally inseparable, always saying we were joined at the hip, and each other’s other half. we always ate at the same pizza joint, and whenever he would go there without me they would always ask where his partner in crime was aka me.
back to the part where I text him off my friends phone, I tell him I’m going to his house to talk things over the next day and he simply says no, but doesn’t make s huge fuss about me not coming over. so i go to his house and he ends up admitting that part of him wanted me to come. he also admits he still has feelings for me but he just thinks things won’t work out for us at the moment. I tell him I’m sorry for being ignorant at the end of our relationship, etc. and we talk thing through. I end up crying of course, and I see in his eyes how bad he doesn’t want me to leave, a few times I see him reach out to pat my leg or something and then quickly pulls his hand back to stop himself , he ends up coming over to me and hugging me rubbing my back . his family knows we are breaking up and his brother walks In and says “___’s a great girl , you’re stupid if you let her go” and I just smile with sadness in my eyes and my ex does the same. I might have messed up the timeline a little bit. but anyway after this night we don’t talk as much as we agree we should have space or whatever, and then I end up having another party . he snapchats me joking around saying he’s coming and I say no you’re not and blah blah. later I text him asking how he knew I was having a party(we don’t have the same crowd of friends), that ends up sparking a convo, and it’s roughly 2 a.m., I have a ton of girls sleeping at my house and they’re drunk af and are getting annoying, two of them end up in a fist fight(I know, annoying) so I decide jeez I need to get out of here for a little. me and my ex are having a convo and he says him and his friend (who I’m very close with) are driving around my town, so I say that they should pick me up. they do, and when I get in the car , their words about me linger in the air, I can tell they were just talking about me. they start joking with me about the driver (my exes friend, let’s just say Adam). meanwhile I notice my ex is snap chatting someone , and I’m sitting in the middle backseat so I can talk to both of them about how stressful my night was and somehow I end up in a snapchat, he notices that I saw and he scribbles me out ? he definitely did it to piss me off . we end up going back to Adams house. it was a really strange night. my ex showed me a picture of some girls boobs in a bra and tried to say it was me, and I was like no I think I would know. and he was like “why, because your boobs are bigger ?” and I was like actually I was thinking of the fact that I don’t have freckles on my chest but now that you put it that way , yea. I know he did it to make me jealous but that was just plain annoying. he knows what my boobs look like so for him to “mix it up” is just bullshit. he just wanted an excuse to show me he got some pics from a girl. anyway we start fighting but not in a serious way, kind of a teasing way and Adam goes “you guys are flirting “. clearly Adam wouldn’t say that if my ex didn’t like me anymore, never mind pick me up and try to convince me to have a sleepover with them. also sometime throughout the night my ex starts tickling me on two different occasions , which is rather odd to me, since that was soemthing he always did when we were dating. we were in Adams basement and there was no service and we were trying to get the wifi to work , and when it wasn’t , my ex was like I need to go home , I have to fix something with someone . I NEED to be able to text right now. we end up being driven home , it was such a weird night. my ex doesn’t answer my texts that night. or the next day, I ask him if we can talk in person, and he says I can’t, this time he makes a big deal about why I can’t. so I just let it go. but at this point I’m so confused , I was getting mixed feelings. so we don’t talk for s week and a half and then I ask him about this girl Rachel (fake name) I heard he had been talking to her. I was asking about what was so good about her that I didn’t have and he was like “I don’t know she’s just all smiles I love it, she’s always so positive” and he was like “she’s a cutie” ,clearly that ends up upsetting me so I rant about how I can’t just have one more chance and whateversn he says again how I changed. what I do next is kinda weird , but don’t forget that since I hooked up with that senior, I had been trying to more or less get my ex back that whole time. I was scheming big time . I decide to text the girl about my ex , saying he’s a great guy and trying to help him get a date with her etc. I do this because I know she’s just a rebound and I want to show him I care for his feelings and want him to be happy. I know it was irrational , but he ended up texting me after and thanking me. so I decide to not Text him for a little , then on Christmas Eve I text him bc my cousins wanted me to tell him they said hi, and he never answers. so again I wait to text him and then one day I go out to eat with my sister and we start talking about him. I had been keeping what was going on between my ex and I generally to my self for the most part, and when she asks about him I just lose it and end up spilling. she then says she thinks I should call him just to see if he answers or see what he says. so I do and he answers and I tell him my sister was asking about him and she said hi and he was like oh hi and I was like cya around and that was the end of it. of course after that phone call he’s all I can think about, so I text him later asking how he’s doing, if he’s happy and what not. and he was like “me, happy?” as if those two words didn’t belong in the same sentence . and I was like yea are you and he was like “I’m sick. mentally. I trust you to keep a secret but that’s alls I’m saying. but yes I’m happy.” which is weird bc he’s never ever said anything about him being sick in the head , now all of a sudden he is , and he’s telling me about it? it also makes no sense so I was like “how can you be sick but happy ?” and he wAs like “give it some thought ;)” and he ended up asking if I was happy or talking to anyone knew and I told him I was artificially happy and how I go about my day feeling empty and wrong and how I trust people less and less (my friends were being jerks at the time) and then he said “you just gotta find someone to fill your emptiness” ??!!??!!!!? was he implying that’s what he’s doing or..? why would he give me advice like that.. and I was like no that’s unhealthy , and he ended up bringing up that he doesn’t text my friend and he wanted me to know that ( my friend was being sketchy and snap chatting my ex and i was mad at her for it , she was one of the girls he flirted with while we were dating ). I told him no one could fill my emptiness except my self and I needed to heal in time for that to happen, and I told him that I know I could help him and how I changed for the better . I proceeded to explain how I was better than I used to be (which was very true, the breakup really opened my eyes and made me realize things I wish I knew before about relationships ) and he responded “…..o.O” . *note: I’m currently explaining the situation as I have the texts in front of me, this was only last month* I explained what I thought I did wrong and why I messed up and he said “and you’re trying to say what?” and warning this is cheesy but i said “I just wanna say sorry for playing my part in messing up something that could have been so much more amazing ” and he was like “it’s weird how you’re saying all this when in my show a love part is going on o.O” then “but no ____, It was never gonna be anything great, we’re kids. we got forever.” and I said how he down played everything as that’s not what he used to say, and how he’s scared to look for the amazing in life and he’s like “I don’t want amazing, I want happiness ” which is weird bc he had just told me he was happy … I told
him I wish he had been in my shoes for those few months and he asked if I did well and I said it was rocky . he then asked me AGAIN if I had been talking to anyone and I didn’t exactly answer but I was like “I mean tbh I’ve been trying to distract myself but it feels so wrong I feel like I’m forcing something that never happen . I can’t go into something new without closure and inner peace . how about you?” and he was like yeah, remember rhat girl who had that party? I knew it , I knew she wS sketchy when I was with her one night (we have a mutual friend) when some freshman boys asked me if my ex and I had still been dating at panera. she shot me a guilty glance , I knew she had been snap chatting my ex , they were best friends on snapchat. but I didn’t expect it to end up like this. my ex and I talked about that night I was with her at panera and he asked why his name was brought up and I told him the freshman boys asked about him and he was like they lost all my respect I hate them now because of that or something which was kinda weird, and then he asked me not to bother the new girl he talks to (let’s call her Julianna ). I was like obviously not and he’s like “I know you’re not like that, I’m just asking” I asked how Julianna was and he said she was a good girl and then he said “we talked a lot at first, kinda slowing down now…” I asked why and he said ” no clue , we texted for two weeks straight, on New Years we didn’t talk until the night was over , she texted me , I answered , then she didn’t Answer. then I called her out and yeah I won’t go into detail.” then I was like yeah it’s dangerous for people to like people fresh out of relationships and then he got all mad and was like I’m not fresh out of one, I’ve been out of it. then he tried to say he never really opened up to me, saying I never really knew him even though I might think I did and how he will never open up to anyone. this was all bull shit, he opened up to me, but he’s never really been the type to vent. he still did though . he opened up to me in the beginning of that conversation by telling me he was sick mentally and he trusted I would keep it a secret. I told him I understand him
more than he thinks i do and more than anyone ever will. he ended up asking me if I was over him and I was like “no idk just something about you but I’m not gonna get into it” and naturally he asked what It was and I was like I don’t know I can’t explain it , he told me to try, I said I couldn’t, and that “every time I hear someone Sk about you it’s the same damn problem. I always love too much and it screws me over so bad”
he said “get over it. get over me. find someone else. not to sound rude it’s the truth.” I said “I’ve dropped it , but I don’t want you out of my life ” and he was like “you haven’t dropped it if you aren’t talking to anyone” which is bullshit bc that would just mean I was onto a rebound . I told him I had been talking to someone (which I was , but he wS obsessive possessive controlling manipulative, I don’t want to get into that, but I was trying to get away from him) and he was like “let’s hear it” and I said his name was jack * and he said “atta girl, get it” and I said I can’t and he was like why not and I said “I want to but sometimes I feel like I like him, other times I’m disgusted with my self. I don’t like how he thinks I Play him ” and then he’s like “well use protection and you shouldn’t feel disgusted” and I was like I haven’t had sex with anyone and he’s like “I’m going to be though goodnight.” and I was like we should hangout at some point and he’s like “probably not gonna happen tbh catch Ya on the flip side” and then I asked why it was an issue and he didn’t answer so I said I hope all goes well in his life and I hope he feels better after being mentally sick and he was like “I never said i didn’t like being mentally “sick”, goodnight.” and I shot him a text later that night saying I was gonna move on completely and focus on myself to find peace , I told him I hope things go well with Julianna and I still wanted him in my life but I won’t force it and maybe I’ll see him in the future , I told him not to text back bc that’s all I had to say. and that’s pretty much it for a few weeks at least until I got into a car accident and almost died. I texted him pleading to just talk with me in person bc I didn’t have closure and he was like I would rather over text and blah blah and he didn’t want Julianna to get the wrong idea . I said we didn’t have to be alone but he still wasn’t buying it. I asked if we could at least talk on the phone and he didn’t end up answering . I probably asked him to chill some time in between then but he said he couldn’t at the moment bc he was at his friend Julios . okay so I decided to just try and move on , and It was working , I focused on myself and surrounded myself with friends and fun activities . then he texts me. this was last weekend , Sunday jan 25, and says “hey” so I go hi and then he asks about my moms cancer and how she’s doing.
……..
alright now to me this is weird af
he says it just kinda popped into his head bc he hadn’t gotten an update on it in a while. and he wanted to check up. I tell him she’s not doing that great and he says he’s sorry to hear that. I’m not even going to explain why this is weird bc I’m sure you can figure it out. it’s an excuse to text me. why would I randomly update him about my mom if he can’t even talk to me on the phone, especially if he talks to someone now? and then I was like thank you for asking but im not gonna worry bc there’s no use, whatever happens happens , etc. and I said i was glad he asked. and then he asked how my life was , and he was like “sorry I wouldn’t see you , I just kinda couldn’t ” and I was like good how about you and why not and he was like ” I don’t know how to explain it but it’s decent I’ve just been working a lot :(” then we just talked about work and I said I was glad to see he was doing well and he said you too and then I asked how things were with Julianna and he was like “we’re dating , things are going great. how about whoever you’re talking to ?” and I was like “aw that’s cute I’m happy for you and Nope I’m just enjoying the single life and just doing my own thing and if someone comes along then so be it but I’m not going to force myself into something, I want to find the right person Ya know” and he was like “yeah I feel you , I was doing that then Julianna came along and she had the same motto I live by .. no negativity . she’s always happy and what not but thank you for saying that” and I was like no problem cya around and he was like cya . something odd is that my friend goes to school with my ex, and she’s really good at reading people. my ex is fun flirty outgoing and loves to tease people. but my friend Paige says he keeps to himself and he’s quiet now, he roams the halls alone and doesn’t really talk to people, and that he doesn’t seem himself. my friends all think it’s weird the way he acts in general, never mind to me. the night I hooked up with him at his new girlfriends house back in November , he said he thought she was weird looking . However , she does have big boobs and a big butt.. and after reading about how rebounds can be physical based , it would make sense. why would he date someone he isn’t very attracted to face wise ? and plus my friend says they never talk or anything in school, and they r just awkward around each other . additionally, he received her nudes from a freshman boy and then SENT them to his friends. ..? why? he never did that to me and never would have. he clearly lacks respect for her which I don’t understand . and I don’t wanna say she’s easy but I heard that that was the case. the night I hooked up with my ex, she had oral with some senior she just met. it’s just a weird coincidence. idk this is all so sketchy to me . I recently had asked him
for my controller back and then he said maybe then next day I could get it. the next day when I asked him he was all annoyed and was like “stop asking me about it , it’s weird how you ask about it months later ” .. idk why he got all pissy either . then he deleted me on snapchAt a few weeks ago . idk he might be mad bc after he asked about my mom , I texted him the next day this long paragraph saying how he can’t just contact me out of the Blue and confuse me like that , I had false hopes. I said how we shouldn’t communicate anymore and blah blah. idk I just need some help and advice on what to do. I feel like he still loves me and everyone thinks he does but idk what if I’m just in denial? help? I think this girl is a rebound but I’m not positive

admin

February 4, 2015 at 2:12 pm

That is certainly a predicament.

How old are you and him exactly?

Sounds like you guys are in highschool…

Carly

February 3, 2015 at 2:53 pm

I mean logically I wouldn’t think so, the whole thing is wierd to me. Idk firstly why a girl would date a guy when he just got out of a three year relationship. And secondly, idk why any girl would be comfortable moving into his exs old house and dealing with her parents. The whole situation is just wierd to me, becuase we are still connected in a way becuase of where he’s living. Sometimes I wonder of he just wants like a mom. But then I also don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, and that’s what scares me the most I guess.

admin

February 4, 2015 at 1:54 pm

You are just piling the rebound reasons on…

Look, they don’t seem very cut out for the long run when you look at it.

They may still be in that honeymoon period but can they survive post honeymoon period?
Carly

February 6, 2015 at 11:27 pm

In your opinion would call this a rebound, the gigs, or neither?
admin

February 9, 2015 at 3:51 pm

Maybe a bit of rebound due to gigs.
Carly

February 9, 2015 at 7:36 pm

I haven’t spoken to him in about 4 months or seen him. Should I try and contact him? Or just let the relationship go and run it’s course?
admin

February 10, 2015 at 3:34 pm

I’d reach out in a very friendly manner.
Carly

February 11, 2015 at 7:58 pm

im kind of scared too, like do you think my situation is hopless, even if hes living with her?
Carly

February 12, 2015 at 11:23 pm

it seems like because they live together, that makes the relationship more serious and permanent? do move this quickly normally??
Carly

February 12, 2015 at 11:24 pm

do rebounds move this quickly normally***

Carla

February 3, 2015 at 2:46 pm

I had posted a few stories back that my ex got into a very fast moving relationship 1 month post breakup – mind you the reason we broke up is that he put no effort in my birthday (didnt plan anything) and now he seems to be VERY romantic with this new girl.

OK, so my friend has told me that now he has been befriending this girls nest friends and sisters on facebook now, this seems to be going very quickle, much quicker than with me and it hurts. I feel like maybe he was not serious with me and has much stronger immediate feelings for this new girl.

As I said, I am in NC now, but I would love if he broke NC and reached out to me while I am still in no contact. What can I do to accelerate the process? We dont have each other on facebook, only instagram. Do you have any advice other than NC on what I can do regarding my posts?

Also if he has been posting lovey dovey pictures, has gotten a new job, is meeting the family, and has not contacted me since the bump in – is there a large chance he is simply over me, and the relationship? I am all about honesty, so what are my chances that he will contact me and possibly get me back? An honest opinion is all I need, I dont want to waste my feelings and time
thanks !

admin

February 4, 2015 at 1:59 pm

Ya that hurts…

What can you do to accelerate the process?

Well, you cant control him obviously but you can influence him. Maybe if a trusted friend casually told him how good you looked or something of that nature he might like you.
carla

February 4, 2015 at 5:08 pm

I mean in honest to god blunt opinion, do you think he’s just over me?
admin

February 5, 2015 at 3:07 pm

Its possible but realistically it should take him more time to fully get ove ryou.

ash

February 3, 2015 at 10:05 am

I’ve an interesting situation here. She was his first real love. BUT that was about 3 years ago. I’m his rebound girl. Our first mistake was getting together too quickly and three months later he broke up with me because he deeply regretted leaving her and couldn’t stand hurting me if it drags on. All in all it’s not a bad breakup.

I think he tried being close to her again but failed (I don’t know the full story). And I’m meeting him this Sunday (we broke up about a month ago, he texted me about once a week but I ended the convo quickly).

How do you think I should go about it?

admin

February 3, 2015 at 1:45 pm

How long did he date you?
ash

February 6, 2015 at 11:50 pm

3 months

denise jones

February 3, 2015 at 2:52 am

I starting seeing this guy years ago while he was seeing someone else. We have been seeing each other for over ten years. We agreed that things would stay as they were until he breaks it off with her. Years went by and he finally broke it off with her. We continued to see one another and had strong feelings for one another. Commitment and marriage came up and he decided he didn’t want a commitment. He broke it off with me and started seeing someone else immediately. He said he doesn’t marriage and. Is it a rebound and a way out.

admin

February 3, 2015 at 1:30 pm

He got scared of the commitment eh?

Carly

February 2, 2015 at 11:57 pm

So I already told my story a couple days ago, and you said it seemed like my ex was trying to fill a void. Well he officially moved his gf into my old house and its killing me knowing shes in my childhood home. But I found out she works an hour away during the night and they’ll go for like days at a time without seeing eachother. However, I guess this girl cooks him and his two friends, who also live there, meals when she is around. Which worries me a little bit because I didn’t do that all the time, we just took turns. I also heard that she was mad at him and the other guys becuase she keeps having to clean up after them, and even when she is home to spend time with him, hes hanging out with his friends. Im just so scared that somehow theyll end up together and its killing me. I just want re assurance and your opinion on the whole thing. Thank you and Im sorry if my comments are getting annoying.

admin

February 3, 2015 at 1:22 pm

She doesn’t seem very serious to me…

Obviously anything can happen but logically does this seem like a good relationship?

Christina

February 2, 2015 at 10:07 pm

It’s so long… But I will try to sum it up.
Eric and I have been together for three years. We have lived together for almost two. His kids are only here every other weekend, but I have mine almost all the time. My ex takes them one night through the week and every other weekend. Our free weekends are the same. We have a lot of fun together, laugh constantly, very respectful of each other, always there for each other, intimately things are really good. We never fight, but I pretty much do anything he wants. I sort of spoil him.
He has always bragged about me to everyone how I’m the perfect girl. Then this last October his job was really putting pressure on him. He was getting annoyed by the kids more than usual and very stressed at work. He went to the doctor and they put him on effexor for anxiety/depression and another pill to help him sleep. Everything was perfect. Then in December I could tell he was getting irritable again at little things. (Like the toilet paper was under not over). It was weird.
One day he said I’m going to go get your Christmas present. He asked me what my ring size was. A lot of people have been asking him when we were going to get married.
Anyway on Christmas morning, I opened a necklace. I of course said how beautiful it was. That night he told me that he’s pretty sure that he never wants to get married. At least not now. I said, I only want that if we both feel right about it. No big deal.
Another week goes by. Everything seems fine. We go out of town, he sings love songs to me in the car like always. We laugh, have fun. The next morning he kisses me good bye and says I love you. Two hours later, he texts me that we need to talk, he’s not happy, he’s moving to his moms. ????????
He makes it sound like its a break. I can tell he is not his self.
A week goes by and he says he needs some more things. He comes over and I make the suggestion that if he wants to move home to his moms, that I’m ok with that and we can still be together when they are with their dad. He sort of made it sound like It was the kids. He looked me straight in the face and said you love me more than I love you. The spark is gone. I can’t do this anymore. Of course I cried, he kept saying sorry.
That Sunday he came over to move out. Showed up with no truck or boxes. He looked like he was going to puke. I made sure that I looked really cute and acted like I was upbeat and fine. He was a wreck. It was like I was comforting him. I helped him pack up most of his stuff. We kissed and hugged for like four minutes. I told him I loved him, he said it back. He said he hadn’t ate or slept in a week. I told him to go to the doctor to have his medicine evaluated. Said neither of us are dead. Let’s just work on ourselves for a little while. He called the next day to say that he went to the dr and they changed his meds. He seemed happy. That was January 19 and I haven’t heard one word. I’ve lost 30 pounds and my heart is broken. Then yesterday, Ben’s mom (my ex mother in law) called me to say that she saw him at Cracker Barrel with a skinny, long haired brunette. I just don’t know what to think. I feel like this all came out of no where. Help me understand….or what I should do. I hate to think that he has totally forgotten me.

admin

February 3, 2015 at 1:17 pm

This seems more like his internal battles as opposed to stuff you did.

I wouldn’t blame yourself at all for the breakup if that was going around in your mind.

I doubt he has forgotten you. And the girl could just be a friend.

Steffi

February 2, 2015 at 2:05 pm

Hi Chris,

Probably summarization the relationship will be better for you to have a clearer view. Here’s bits & pieces of the relationship.

My ex & I have been together for almost 5 years in April if we are still together. We even got a flat together. However, after this break up, he cancelled it all.

Recently, he broke up with me as he is hurt by what I said & that he could not take the pressure & stress alone in the relationship & decided to have a new start for the new year.

We did voice out to each other for the past 1 month after we broke up but he kept saying too late & it’s over. I give up trying & begging him knowing things won’t work out this way after reading your web & so decided to go for the NC period which I’m currently in for the 6th day today.

Before the NC period, I know I acted silly & all begging him to come back, cried & all. & yes, it doesn’t work at all.

He gave me the feel that he is scare to step back in the relationship. But 1 week after we broke up, my friends saw him hanging out with another girl, which I know he will not & never his character in doing so. So I asked him & he was yes, I don’t usually do this but I thought I shall make it exceptional this time. It really hurts me. Over one of the weekend, I suspect he went out with her but when asked, he told me that he is out with friends & I don’t need to know who. But then a day later, he confessed that the girl even took the initiative to find him after his golf game & he was like he have to meet her right! I did ask him if they were together but he said its nothing official yet & that his friends doesn’t even know how she looked like. When I asked about feelings for her. He seems uncertain or brushing me off saying ‘guess so’.

I know for the past few years, we are having a hard time trying to withstand this relationship. He told me it was a hurtful past 3 years. I told him that I am willing to change for him & give & take. It’s partially because of my attitude towards him that made him walk away.

I’m still hoping for him to come back but he seems to be enjoying his weekends with her, posting food pictures showing that he’s out with her I presume.

However, my friends ask me to move on & that he is never coming back.

He told me a few times that I should move on too since he have given up on this relationship & that if he regrets, he will chase me all over again. This really bothers me & make me feel hopeful but my friends told me that he is just trying to make me feel better by saying so. & he will not come back to me.

Just like the other day, I told him that I want to talk to someone. He replied me only at night but then didn’t want to disturb him. Therefore, I stopped messaging him. But 2 days after I stopped messaging him, he messaged me saying ‘so I guess your problem is solved & someone to talk to already ya. Take care.’ But I didn’t respond as I’m in the no contact period.

From your professional experience, I would like to know how you feel about this whole relationship? Do I stand a chance or should I be moving on?

I will need you advise & help on this as I really want him back but my friends kept telling me to move on!

admin

February 3, 2015 at 12:57 pm

You definitely stand a chance.

Of course, that doesn’t mean its going to be easy.
Steffi

February 3, 2015 at 1:08 pm

Am I right in applying the NC rule now? Or what do you advise me to do?
admin

February 4, 2015 at 1:46 pm

You are right!
Steffi

February 4, 2015 at 4:15 pm

Thanks Chris! But the thing I’m afraid is that things will work out between the both of them during this NC period.

But I’m determined to take the risk & continue with this NC period as I do not want him to be contacting me & also her at the same time. I probably think that if it works like this, I will give him a comfortable feeling of moving on when he have both of us. Do you think so?

Also I would like to ask, how is it possible for a man to move on so quickly like after a week of break up. He starts hanging out with another girl so quickly?

rhonda

February 1, 2015 at 10:50 pm

My ex and i were together for almost 9 yrs. We broke up after an argument and didn’t speak for about a month. I went to his job to discuss our son and he and some girl came out for lunch hugged up. I tried to speak with him and he sd he didn’t have time. He saw our son a few weeks later and then explained that she lived with him now because she didn’t have anywhere to go. A later visit with our son resulted in him trying to kiss me. We don’t talk at all unless he tx about seeing our son. It is coming up on 3 months that we have been broken up and he was with her at most a month after our break up possibly sooner. Is this a rebound and how long will it last?

admin

February 2, 2015 at 2:31 pm

Hmm… What was the argument over him and the girl or was that after the breakup?
rhonda

February 2, 2015 at 6:19 pm

The argument was not over him and the girl and that argument led to the breakup
rhonda

February 3, 2015 at 3:30 pm

What do u think about this?
admin

February 4, 2015 at 1:56 pm

About what specifically?

(I cant see your previous comment 🙁 .)

Sephora

February 1, 2015 at 6:50 am

So I dated this guy for two years it was a serouse relationship we had a lot of good times and fun he even wanted to marry me at one point. But we brokeup once before because I was controlling and he hated that. But I was only like that cause he wanted to be with his friends 24/7 so it annoyed me I was never like all controling untill that incident were this girl messaged me saying my bf was flirting with her to tell him to leave me alone. And he said he wasn’t including his friend that it was all her. So I just gave him my trust like whatever you know forgive you I dont know what happend.so we broke up because of that, then we got back together because he begged for a second chance after I caught him red handed trying to find anouther girl because he felt his needs were not being satisfied. So then I forgave him and I told him ill change and wont be controlling and this is the last chance ill give you. Everything was good but then suddenly he says I dont love you anymore and makes excuses saying maybe I dont want a serouse relationship and didn’t give me a full understanding of why. So when he finally tells Me he says he was unhappy I was controling and obviously his friend Tells me that he didn’t liked how I complained to much. And I was confused becwuse I tried hard and I wasn’t being controling. He said he wanted space and all that and I told him all you had to do was say I neec space I want to hangout with my friends for a while and I gladly would of respected that because I changed but instead he doubted that I didnt changed so he didn’t bother to tell me anything and assumed he wouldn’t hear the end of it if he told me. So he ssaidou can’t blame me so then after words I found out by his friend as usual that he meet a new girl 3 days ago after a week ago that we broke up and his friend says belive it or not hes hurt but he met a girl three dwys ago and is slowly making him happy. Is this just a rebound?

admin

February 2, 2015 at 2:00 pm

Seems likely!

Gracie

January 31, 2015 at 2:38 pm

I dated this guy for almost 2 months (“talked” for almost 2 months before that) everything was great in the beginning so much potential but as soon as we got the bf gf title he seemed to change and became a different person, it’s like he got scared of commitment or something but he was the one that made it official and posted it on social media for everyone to see. During our short relationship we would argue over stupid little things (because I didn’t feel like I was priority, etc). I guess he finally got fed up and ended things about a month ago. He said he didn’t want to end things with me but felt it was best for us right now. He said he still wanted to be friends because he didn’t want to lose me in his life. I recently found out though that he started talking to another girl supposedly the day after we broke up and have been talking and seeing each other constantly. Unfortunately we work at the same place so I have to see him often. Every time he sees me at work he still texts me and tries to mend things like being friends or like just recently wanting to talk and show me he does care about me, etc. He tries so hard to convince me that they aren’t dating but their actions show otherwise. Is this a rebound relationship or he’s just moved on that fast?

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