6 Signs That Prove Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (And What To Do With Them)

2,943 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (The Definitive Guide)”

Earl T

July 22, 2014 at 2:16 am

Woman whom I’ve know well for 20 and with whom there has always been a mutual, but never acted on, attraction, contacts me in November saying she is planning on leaving hubby. Thinking it a mutual agreement I lend advice and moral support. She moves into her own place February 1. We start getting reacquainted and it gets intimate. Valentines Day she gives me a very personal card thanking me for all my support, says I’m her sole mate and is looking forward to what the future might hold for us. Within 4 weeks she is withdrawing emotionally and physically. May 4 she meets new guy in club. Never tells me we are over. Starts relationship with new guy. May 25 tells me to F off and stay out of her life (after I suggest she take time to heal a bit). She apologizes the next day saying her life is a mess, doesn’t know what she wants, etc. still seeing new guy and has introduced him to her 12 and 5 year old kids. New guy still actively working match.com even after being confronted by her ( took it down about 6 weeks!). She is only 6 months separated and is already talking marriage to “the one”., I.e. New guy. Rebound? How long before this game is over?

Earl T

admin

July 22, 2014 at 2:41 pm

You should really check out my other site, Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

She seems very confused emotionally to me.
Earl T

July 22, 2014 at 2:20 am

That should have said 20 years. She has been married 14+ years. Sorry.

admin

July 18, 2014 at 3:10 pm

Wait, you are essentially fwb righ tnow?
Stacy

July 11, 2014 at 11:43 am

Hey Kevin, thanks for the advice so far.
My ex and I have been broken up for about four months now. Right after we broke up he went straight into a relationship with another girl which ended a few weeks ago. I found out a few days ago that there was another girl involved. He was seeing these two girls at the same time. However I heard from a friend that he isn’t seeing the second one anymore but they are close friends, but another friend told me they might still be together but he’s not sure.

Do you think its a rebound or is it possible that he might actually become serious about this second girl?

P.S. the second girl used to send him some flirty messages while we were still together.

Stacy

July 11, 2014 at 11:44 am

I mean Chris sorry! Not sure why I typed kevin.

Talls

July 7, 2014 at 7:33 pm

Hi Chris!

First off, I just wanted to say, that I found your site extremely helpful.

My boyfriend and I had been dating for little over a year. Everything seemed fine and we had lots of plans (for the weekend and for months later) when he suddenly broke up with me. I did not see it coming, most of our friends didn’t see it coming, and the only people who did see it coming were only the people he talked to.

Through our entire conversation, he would not give me any straight answer. He showed me a few journal entries expressing how he felt. I asked him if he was breaking up with me, I was told “I don’t know.” I asked (alright, begged, not proud of that) for us to try to work it out. He told me he was “tired of trying” and “didn’t want to deal with relationships anymore” but he still wanted to be my friend.

So, I left and haven’t spoken to him for about 22 days now. During that time, I have been focusing on my job, hanging out with my friends (small things, like going to the mall and things of this nature) and I went on a cruise to Jamaica for a week with family, just enjoying myself. But then I come to find out that, the night we broke up, he got drunk and slept with one of our friends, one who I had had some issues with while we were dating for hanging on him more than a “friend” would (and I was not the only one saying this). From what I have been told (because I have not seen either of them since the break up) they were continuing their sexual relationship still, and didn’t want me to find out.

So my question is, is this “friend” a rebound and, in your opinion, with NC work with your tips on avoiding the friend zone, or do I need to take a separate approach?

Thank you for your advice in advance 🙂

admin

July 8, 2014 at 2:08 pm

Depends… when did he meet this friend? Do they have a connection? Are they officially dating?
Talls

July 11, 2014 at 4:46 pm

He met this friend a few weeks after he met me, before we started dating. They are not officially dating, in fact, she has told another friend that, she knows its going to end when she goes to college because she will stop contacting him, basically using him (which makes me angry not just because he is my ex, but I hate people who use people).

So, now it looks like this be a shorter lived relationship, any suggestion on how to approach this? Thank you for your fast response 🙂
admin

July 14, 2014 at 2:53 pm

Looks like a standard rebound relationship to me but its not over until its over.

Cindy

July 2, 2014 at 8:15 pm

My ex told me after planning our second child and buying a house that he was “confused” on what he felt for me andthat he needs time alone. I was 3 months pregnant. We didn’t date too long before I got pregnant with our first child who is now 2 yrs old, our relationship lasted about 2 1/2 years. After a few months I decided to leave the home since he didn’t want to work things out. He changed over night he was a family man dedicated to me and his daughter. He told me he loved me and we had plans to get married. He claims I was the one who pushed him away eventually because I had an attitude. Finally last December 8 months pregnant on maternity leave I decided to move out with my daughter. We went to court for child custody and support and hates me because I put him on it. This was December, he recently told he he now has a girlfriend and wants to bring her around my daughter…I’m like thats for someone who wanted alone time?
Whit

June 20, 2014 at 3:45 pm

My ex and I dated for two years but broke up because we are both just not at the right stage of our life to handle a serious relationship. (We are nineteen.)
We said we want to get back together in a few years but for now just be friends.
We still love each other and often act like a couple. We hangout religiously, have intimacy and say that we still love each other.
We said we would try date other people in this time to make sure we are right for each other.
I had a fling with a guy but broke it off just as soon as it begun because I couldn’t bring myself to be with someone else.
It’s been 5 months and I found out through a friend that he has a crush on a girl and they hangout sometimes and go on dates.
When I asked him about it he downplayed it and made it seem that he doesn’t like her and she just always asks him out on dates.
I know his way of dealing with break ups is going on the rebound but I feel as if I’m not good enough.
I know he doesn’t have strong feelings for her but why is he trying to hide the intensity of this new ‘fling’ of his?
Also, I feel as though I am nearing the stage of being ready for this relationship but he still needs a few years because he says he feels too young for that kind of commitment. He is only ready for casual relationships.
How do I handle this? I love him so much and cannot think of being with anyone else. I’m only happy when I’m with him and when we are acting like a couple.
liz

June 17, 2014 at 3:20 pm

Hi, okay I had been in a five year relationship with my daughters father (dead beat) .. he wasn’t doing what he had to do in school.. I’m in college he’s in high school still because he doesn’t think its important.. he was controlling, aggressive n obsessive. he was always asking for money and just not revolving in that responsible man figure I wanted him to be. I’ve helped him with everything.. I’ve helped him to get a car, a job etc.. until I felt something was different. Shortly after giving birth to our daughter I found out I had a std chlamydia from my obgyn … I knew it was from him. I had been faithful throughout our entire relationship. I tried to stick through it for the sake of our daughter but the trust for him wasn’t there anymore so I told him there’s someone out there that will treat me right n that he’s hurt me so much that I cannot take anymore.. so we broke up .. he isn’t around for our daughter.. I’m doing this alone with some help of my mother.. im still dealing with the breakup till this day.. a month in a half later he is dating a stripper.. I know this girl. Their now in a relationship and he broadcasted it on Facebook with pictures of them and in one of them he is picking her up the same way he use to pick me up..he captioned the picture with “i love this woman” he is even wearing the band bracelet i let him have of mine. I will admit it hurt to see that.. But would you say that is a rebound relationship? It looks like their so happy while I’m still healing trying to move on.. If you give me some advice on what you think about the situation I would highly appreciate it
Sam

June 16, 2014 at 3:58 pm

My ex and I dated a month the first time, then 7 months later we got back together. We were strong, everyone wanted our kind of relationship. We lasted a year and a week. Thats when he tokd me he needed to be alone. No contact for two weeks, thats when he came to drop of my stuff. We talked about our lives, and he hugged me, like 8 times, he just kept wanting more hugs. He asked me if i missed him, which i said yes. And he told me he missed me too. 3 days later he came by, again. He told me he wanted to hang out. So we got into his truck and left. He tokd me that during the two weeks he tried to date another girl, but he was miserable because he wanted me. He said ‘there is a reason we keep coming back to eachother’. We cant stay away, it seems. So he was in a rebound relationship. We talked everything out and got back together. only for two and a half weeks, when he texted me and said he is unhappy and cant stay happy. Its not even been a week after the breakup and i hear he has a girlfriend. That makes me think ‘was i a rebound or was i real?’. I texted him and asked when to meet with our stuff and then got to talking to him. He told me he was moving outta state. He said there os work there, and hr wants to get away, and see new things. I dont know how to feel. We do manage to come back to eachother. And we are yound, so i know he is confused. He cant forgrt everythong we went through that easily, right? He told me its nothing i did, and that we are great. But i dont understand how he aint happy. Maybe time will make him see he needs and wants me? When he bring my stuff, im gonna sit down and talk to him. Is that a good thing to do? I feel like the new girl, was the girl he dated for two weeks before we got back together. I dont know though. Could he still love me? Maybe had an attraction for her, and wanted to see how they would be? He said he would always love me, as a friend. I dont know if he loves me more than that. I know he once did, because i can tell. The girl i think it is is related to his best friend. And i think his best friend is a part of this. His friend wants him to date her, so they can always be with eachother. Is it a rebound? I dont know. It took him two weeks to see he missed me the last time. And its only been 5 days since the breakup. Please help with advice. Thanks!

admin

June 17, 2014 at 8:12 pm

You think the best friend had a part of your breakup?

Emily

June 9, 2014 at 2:43 am

Hi,

Me and my ex have been dated for 6 years. We met first week in college. So we’re basically with each other every day. about 2 months ago, we had a fight, i wouldn’t say its a big one, but he said he wanna break up after that. His reason was that he enjoy being single and alone, and he don’t think we r perfect match, and don’t wanna force himself to adjust to me anymore.

Before that, our relationship had been very stable, we are both working hard for our house’s down payment.

He said he feel like I am an obstacle to his career.
Then he suggest we stay as friends for the rest of the year, and meet again next year. He said he wanna prove that our break is not due to 3rd party, so he promised to be loyal for the rest of the year. But during this year I am not allowed to contact him.

But one day after he break. I found out that he book a trip to Europe with his colleague ( based in a diff country) ….they only meet in person for like 5 times. And I just cant convince myself that he is not cheating while we’re still together. And a month ago my sister saw them holding hands on the street. So the girl just flew in for the weekend.

So far he didn’t contact me. And i did send him a few text, but he ignored me.

Do you think I still got a chance? Is it possible for him to realize soon and come back to me? I just dont understand how they can develop so quickly. And how can he give me up for this girl. What should I do next?

Thanks.

admin

June 9, 2014 at 3:15 pm

I am working on something right now for this site that will be out this week that I think you will find incredibly helpful.
Emily

June 15, 2014 at 7:59 am

I am just wondering if it is still possible for me to get him back. As so far (2 months since the break) he had contact me himself.
and I am just really sad and frustrated about the situation… hopefully you can give me some comments on it. Thanks
Emily

June 15, 2014 at 7:55 am

Hi just some updates, my friend meet up with my ex and told him that I knew everything he planned, as well as this girl, and my friend said he looked shocked.
But my ex still ask my friend to tell me not to wait, because it’s impossible for him to come back as (1) he thinks we have different personality and (2) he cant face my parents after what he did to me.

What should I do next? and which post are you referring to? is it out yet?

Thanks

Caitlin

June 7, 2014 at 3:29 pm

I wrote on here before that my fiance of 6 years left me and was talking to a girl for 4 months before hand and started dating right after I left. It’s been 5 months is it to late to try all of this. I just found this a month ago and it has ups and downs since than. I’m in the no contact now, but we have a child so all my response to him have only be about our daughter. He is still with the person I think he is in a rebound relationship with but doesn’t realize it. What sucks is before he has told me he loves me and still cares but she is what he needs now. He has also told me that she doesn’t even make him all that happy. I’m so confused on what to do. I bought your book and I going to continue the no contact but I still don’t know if I should even try at this point even though I want him back both for me and my daughter.
Amber

June 7, 2014 at 3:03 pm

My ex boyfriend and I broke up about a month and a half or so ago. We dated for 11 1/2 months. He broke up with me and told me that it was because he wanted to be single and felt as though he wasn’t ready for a mature relationship. He told me that if we were in college we would probably still be dating. I believed what he told me because he had never before given me a reason not to trust him. But, I know some of my behaviors contributed to the breakup too. I dated a guy that cheated on me with 3 girls, and I ended up having trust issues after that. So when I started dating this new boy, it was always in the back of my mind that he would do the same thing my first ex to me; even though he is one of the most considerate and loving people I’ve met. I know my insecurities got to him and I ended up pushing him away. He even told my friend that he fell in love with my confidence and he missed it being there. I am trying so hard to respect his decision but I just don’t understand how it was so easy for him to leave me. He had the biggest crush on me the whole time I was dating the guy who cheated on me. After that relationship, I was in a terrible, terrible place and he helped me get through all of it. I have NEVER seen him so scared and so concerned about someone the way he ever has been with me. He filled the void in my heart and actually made me feel important. Eventually I began falling for him, but I tried to hold back. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for another relationship and I was scared to be hurt again because I really started liking this boy. He knew how I felt and he tried so hard to make me comfortable. He wrote me love letters, he sent me cute text messages, he complimented me all the time, he talked to all his friends about me, and then he eventually told me he was in love with me. I didn’t know how to take it and at the time I wasn’t in love with him. He was so upset and he was scared that I would never be in love with him. No one has ever, ever tried so hard for me. I didn’t want to lose him and I decided I really, really wanted to try dating him. I had the time of my life. I was so happy. He made me so happy. He made me laugh and feel good about myself and I didn’t want anything more. I fell so hard for him so fast. I have never had feelings so strong before. We eventually started having some problems, thanks to my insecurities. I tried so hard to fix them because I didn’t want to lose him. But obviously I wasn’t quick enough. He broke it off with me. I am beyond heartbroken and I don’t know how to cope with this. I cry every night and try to act strong and confident and just be my goofy self while we are at school (considering we are sophomores). I went through periods of talking to him and not talking to him because I was so confused and didn’t know what to do. I thought we both needed space then I got scared that he would think I didn’t care so then I tried to be friends with him then I couldn’t handle it so I would stop talking to him again. He said he missed being best friends with me and I felt terrible doing that to him. Recently I decided I want him back in my life. I started making the extra effort to look a little better physically and smile and laugh and stand up straight and look confident. Everyone actually believed I was okay when really I wasn’t. We slowly started talking more and more each day. He even wore the shirt that I bought him while we were dating! I was in the best mood that day and I knew he could tell. Yesterday, a big group of us went to the annual carnival in our town. He actually hung out with me and laughed at things I said and I felt so good! Then suddenly, out of no where, he ditched the entire group to go hang out with this girl… He held her hand on one of the rides and I instantly walked away and started bawling. I got so angry and I had a huge emotional breakdown. He didn’t see any of it though. After I broke down I walked around the carnival and tried to have fun but everything got worse. He was walking around with her near me with his arm around her laughing and looking like he’s so happy. I don’t understand what’s happening. He pissed all his friends off by ditching them and they’re all confused on how he could be doing this when its so soon after me and how I’m “better than this girl” (said one of his friends). And get this, no one even knew about this until last night! I feel like he’s trying to make me jealous since he knows I am the jealous type. I also feel like maybe she’s a rebound, but I don’t know.. I mean he had feelings for me for 3 years! He waited for me for 2 years then dated me for almost 1. Also he told me he wanted to be single! And also I’ve been trying to talk to more people, especially boys, to show him that I can be happy and attractive to other people. I know he’s seen it too. He hasn’t acted as happy lately either. He’s the type of person to cover everything up with laughter and jokes but now he’s barely even doing that. Of course I want him back. That’s why I’ve been trying to make changes to myself and be more confident. But then he goes and does this? How could he so easily replace me!? Was he lying to me our entire relationship? Did he even care about me? Maybe I’m overthinking this.. I don’t know.. But he just wore the shirt I bought him then the next day he’s holding hands with some girl? Is he trying to get my attention? Is he regretting his decision? Does he miss me? Is she a rebound? I have so many questions my head is going to explode. Please, please help me. I don’t know what to do…
Janel

May 27, 2014 at 6:45 am

My best friend is just getting out of his 7 year marriage/15 year relationship with his wife. I’ve know. For a long time that he’s fallen out of love with her, but he decides to finally separate from her when he thought he was in love with someone else. He was infatuated with someone, and suddenly decided his marriage was over. While in his infatuation, he also started speaking to a woman who, oddly enough, looks like a younger version of his soon to be ex-wife (he is actually still living with her). His infatuation with this girl (who did not reciprocate his feelings) hurt him like a ton of bricks, but he went to counseling and got over that situation. He is still continuing the separation/divorce with his wife… But has picked up this relationship with the look-a-like rather quickly. He says he is very happy and he feels like his life is in perspective and is upbeat and positive, but the rest of his friends and I think he may be on the rebound. A rebound from his marriage relationship and also from the rejection of his infatuation. All of this has come out within the last 3 months. And he is getting quite serious with this new lady. How long does this look like it is going to last? I’m worried that under his happy demeanor, he has not let himself heal from the marriage falling apart, the rejection of the infatuation and he’s going to hit bottom hard.

admin

May 27, 2014 at 2:15 pm

Are you in love with your best friend or something?
Janel

May 28, 2014 at 12:22 am

No. I should clarify he’s the best friend of my boyfriend and I. He is like a brother to us. We are just worried about him, since he’s gone from complete depression to a complete high. We’re scared of another fall fr him.

Robin

May 24, 2014 at 10:59 am

Hey, i was in a relationship for 4 and a half years.

My ex knew a work partner that talks bad things about me during my last 6 months of the relationship…

we broke up 5 months ago, they start a relationship 3 weeks after the break…

so they are together for 4 months… how much more time it will last?

admin

May 25, 2014 at 2:27 pm

IMpossible for me to know that but they are still in rebound territory.

Rose B.

May 24, 2014 at 6:10 am

Thank you for writing this. The moment I met my ex I knew; I had that “this is the man I’m going to marry” moment and it shocked me to the core, it caught me completely off guard. He was the same, he’d told his friends, family, co-workers that he knew I was “the one” and he’d never felt about anyone like he felt for me. It was blissful beyond measure. Sadly, we had a pregnancy go VERY wrong and that put some stress on the relationship that neither of us dealt with properly and when he broke things off it COMPLETELY caught me off guard. I knew that things were difficult, but I just assumed we would work through them. I know now tracking back through our relationship what tolls the failed pregnancy and how we dealt with it had on our relationship, but hindsight is 20/20. I was devastated when he ended it, he didn’t really have a reason other than he didn’t really know why, just that he loved me more than anything, still wanted me in his life, still wanted to make me happy and do things that make me happy, but wasn’t in love any more, and he wasn’t as strong as me, and it would just be easier being single. He swore up and down there wasn’t anyone else, I later found out that there WAS someone else and right off the bat. I was extremely hurt that it was a woman I thought was a friend of mine. I couldn’t understand, his friends and family are just as baffled by his behavior as of late – he’s anything but himself. This woman is the COMPLETE opposite of me, and someone he previously had pitied and belittled as an employee of his. It baffled and hurt me more than anything to think that I’d meant so little to him to just rush in with this woman and for things to fly faster than things moved with he and I. She moved in to his house within a week or so and has been living there for the last almost four months. I didn’t understand the behavior behind a rebound, or the failure rate. Knowing this has helped me calm my emotions a bit and I’m now taking steps to get back to the place of forgiveness. I still know that he’s the one, and knowing now why he felt it was best to end it has helped me understand how things could move forward. Thank you for posting… I’m pretty certain that this seems like a rebound, I’m certainly hoping it is. I know people handle things in different ways, it just sucks because I know him and I know he so badly wishes he could be ‘fine and unscathed’ from ending it and he’s doing whatever he can to prove to himself and everyone else that he is “fine” with the break up… but his actions really dictate otherwise.

admin

May 25, 2014 at 2:26 pm

Do you think he just couldn’t recover from the pregnancy issue?

Josh

May 23, 2014 at 11:00 pm

Hi,

My fiance of 4 years up and left me one morning out of the blue, no fights no signs leading up to it just took a small argument and left. Since then she text me for 2 months I love yous, I miss you’s etc and I found out she was dating someone else. I knew someone who knew the guy and she had told him we broke up 6 months ago which wasn’t true. It’s not been 5 months since we separated yet she still e-mails me often saying I love you, goodnight, and makes lies about how awful her new bf is at times…? She said to me I just need time and I can’t give into you yet? Don’t know what to think or what any of that means…

admin

May 25, 2014 at 2:21 pm

Check out Ex Girlfriend Recovery and ask your question there.

Caitlin

May 20, 2014 at 4:28 pm

I was with my fiance for 6 years and we have a 3 year old daughter. We struggled with finance and other bad situations. He moved us to Upstate NY for work and I trusted him that he was doing what was best for his family. But the three years we were there I was miserable, I had no friends or family (except his, but they treated me great) so I was always upset. I would freakout over stupid things and he would always have to hear it. Seeing me and knowing I was miserable was making him unhappy and I saw it. He broke up with me in January said he wasn’t happy in our relationship and hasn’t been for a while. I found out that he was talking to a girl he met at work for 4 months before the breakup and I realized than that that was when he started walking away from us. After the break up my daughter and I moved back to FL. He started seeing this new girl right away and even met his mother. He told me that he wasn’t looking for anything serious at the moment, but they were still seeing each other and he was calling her his girlfriend. It’s been 4 months and they just started posting things on facebook about them as a couple. He said they waited the “appropriate” time. He calls me every now and than to chat and it isn’t always about our daughter. He says he still loves me, harbors feelings for me, and misses me, wonders if I’m ok, but he doesn’t want to be with me now. He says he loves this new girl and is happy with her and that she “fits his personality better”. She is the complete opposite of me and she wanted to meet me to “crush my soul” that she is his and not mine. He has also completely changed, he started smoking because of her and he always hated smoking with a passion. He lost all his ambition for work and he loved his job, he loved going to work, talking about work, now he doesn’t care and doesn’t want to go and when he talks to me about it he vents about work. They post a few things here and there on their facebook about how much they love each other but they just started doing that after 4 months saying they waited the appropriate time. Is this a rebound relationship?

admin

May 21, 2014 at 2:21 pm

Sounds like he really is devestated from the breakup.

Sounds reboundish to me… Do you think it hurt him that you were miserable when in NY when he was trying so hard to piece things together?
Caitlin

May 23, 2014 at 2:34 am

Do you think this could still be a rebound?
admin

May 23, 2014 at 5:21 pm

Its possible.
Caitlin

May 21, 2014 at 2:59 pm

I do think it hurt him and in last summer I finally realized I had to do something about it. I was going back to school and in January before I left I was even going to start going to concealing because my doctor diagnosed me with untreated depression that was going untreated for 8 years. Which caused me to have major mood swings and I would take everything out on him when he didn’t do anything. But in the last few months everything was getting better (so I thought) are finance problems were getting worked out. I was going to start concealing, but little did I know that he had already started talking to her in September, and now when I look back that was when he started pulling away from me. Do you still think this is a rebound?
Caitlin

May 21, 2014 at 3:04 pm

oh and up until the time he started talking to her, I noticed he was still telling talking about me to his friends at work, bragging about how much he love me. He still showed me that he loved me and said it when we were together, but around the time he started talking to her is when he said he wasn’t sure he wanted to marry me any more and I new something was wrong. But I didn’t suspect another girl because of how he acted around me.

HotLilTeacher

May 19, 2014 at 8:47 pm

We dated for almost 2 years. he broke up with me because he wasn’t ready for a full commitment. We were both coming out of a divorce. We were apart 8 months and then he asked me to try again. We were seeing each other for a month when he told me he met someone and he wasn’t expecting it, but he had just got done telling me how much I meant to him, he was glad we were taking it slow, he was scared. Things were great I thought. He had changed so much. In less than 2 weeks he was in a relationship with her, according to Facebook. and he seems very very happy and public about it.

Rebound? Or was I the rebound and she’s the one?

So sad and confused.

HotLilTeacher

May 20, 2014 at 11:22 pm

I should clarify, he told me how much I meant to him, he was glad we were taking it slow, he is scared, then the next day he meets her. Then he breaks up with me 5 days later. And he was exclusive with her in 2 weeks.

Thanks Chris!
HotLilTeacher

June 9, 2014 at 10:29 pm

But doesn’t it matter that we were apart for 8 months and had only been seeing again for 1 month when he left me for her? I think he just came back because he was jealous that I was going out on dates.
HotLilTeacher

May 25, 2014 at 7:29 pm

Hi Chris. Any insight? I could sure use some help.
admin

May 27, 2014 at 2:18 pm

Dangit, I keep losing your posts.
HotLilTeacher

May 27, 2014 at 6:48 pm

I know!! What’s up with that?! 😉

Here it is again…

We dated for almost 2 years. he broke up with me because he wasn’t ready for a full commitment. We were both coming out of a divorce. We were apart 8 months and then he asked me to try again. We were seeing each other for a month when he told me he met someone and he wasn’t expecting it, but he had just got done telling me how much I meant to him, he was glad we were taking it slow, he was scared. Things were great I thought. He had changed so much. In less than 2 weeks he was in a relationship with her, according to Facebook. and he seems very very happy and public about it.

Rebound? Or was I the rebound and she’s the one?

So sad and confused.
admin

May 28, 2014 at 2:47 pm

I wouldn’t call her “the one” but a lot of possibilities can be happening here.

You could be the rebound…
She could be the rebound…

Or you both could be the rebounds…

Some guys have to rebound a lot.

My money is on her being the rebound since you two dated for so long.
HotLilTeacher

May 29, 2014 at 4:09 pm

well I tried texting him after NC for 30 days. No response. I think it’s time to give up. What should my next step be?
HotLilTeacher

June 2, 2014 at 5:32 pm

any suggestions Chris? Did you lose me again? 😉
admin

June 5, 2014 at 5:01 pm

Sorry…. This has been an extremely tough week.

Hackers hacked into the site and crashed it.
HotLilTeacher

June 6, 2014 at 11:10 pm

My health and wealth are great. But he seems very happy and is doing things for her he didn’t of for me. I think he really loves her and I don’t know what else to do.
HotLilTeacher

June 5, 2014 at 9:04 pm

Oh no! so sorry to hear that!! I know the feeling. Here was my question…

well I tried texting him after NC for 30 days. No response. I think it’s time to give up. He seems very happy on Facebook. I know their relationship is moving very fast, but he seems genuine.

What should my next step be?
admin

June 6, 2014 at 5:21 pm

Well, if you want to give up I would recommend focusing on moving on.

There are three big areas of your life that you need to make sure are good.

Health, Wealth and Relationships.

Right now your relationships aspect is lacking so maybe focus on getting that back on track.

Marla

May 16, 2014 at 3:51 pm

So I got to know this guy who works at the local college that I attended. We started talking to each other more after we brought up a subject that we both enjoy. Our friendship took off from there and we would talk all the time and that he pretty much chased me. He became my first real friend In a town that I lived in for 7 years. Towards the end of the fall semester we shared our first kiss, because we both knew it was coming. Over winter break we did not see eachother much because he went to his parents house in a different town. We both talked for a it over the break, but at some point he got quite, and in January he told me that he decided to get back with a former girlfriend that he had he been off and on with a couple of times since high school, he’s trying for a third time with her and I don’t know how third chance relationships work, I don’t know if I was a rebounder or if he is rebounding with a his former. I really miss my close friendship with him so much, because he was the first guy who found me and did not judge me for who I was, I tried no contact rule and stuff, but I don’t know what I should do to show him that he is missing out on a wonderful person.

admin

May 20, 2014 at 8:29 pm

Well, how long did you last in the no contact rule.

Lisa

May 15, 2014 at 2:39 pm

We were together 6 years ups and downs. A lot if growing mostly on his part. I helped him better his life and have been a true support for him with a lot. Job car. Etc We broke up in aug but quickly remained close. Within a month he was back in my life – we new we loved each other needed each other etc. spent our holidays together but he would not move back in. Said he enjoyed his freedom. He was definitely on the prowl as you said. I tried to be patient. We’d fight about it but he maintained that he needed his soace – however still textung and talking daily. Coming over 3/4 times a week. (I was not sleeping with him) this went on through march… I was going to the gym obe day and saw him drop off another girl. After a heated argument and some investigating. It turned out that he’s been seeing this girl for months. Maybe 5. I told him that he needed to end it and move back in which if course didn’t work. He told me he just wanted to live his life. He said they were just dating! But. Within a week of us no longer talking he is with her. I don’t know the extent of their relationship. But she said he was her boyfriend. (He did not) my question is. Now that they are “together” do I count from now (April) or do I count from where they met. Nov? Dec? I feel like he didn’t let go of what we had the whole time?? He was with me Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years, valentines day, He also said he wished I never found out. Could they be in a real relationship?? Why is he with her? She’s not a woman of substance… Prior drug use etc she seems a mess but he said she was nice… 🙁

admin

May 17, 2014 at 1:41 am

Sounds like the definition of a rebound to me… or someone he can use that won’t demand a serious commitment.

Beatrice

May 12, 2014 at 9:40 am

Firstly, I want to thank you for this post. As like the others here, I want to share my story and be honest. I warn you that this is longwinded.

I started making my way out of my marriage when I met this guy who started pursuing me. I still lived with and interacted with my spouse at the time. In fact, the guy approached me with my spouse right there.

After some time of him interacting with me, I figured we could be friends. We were in the same sports club so I would see him weekly in passing. After talking on the phone like buddies for months, he snuck and kissed me one night and it was that moment I really felt a romantic connection to him.

We agreed to be together for one night and from there I started making moves to leave my marriage for good. Over the next almost 4 years, we grew closer. And yet, he would never discuss us, feelings, and what he wanted from this association. I accepted the silence because after all, we weren’t supposed to have this connection at all.

In the last 1.5 years of our thing, because of his big mouth, we were “outed” of sorts. He backed off a bit but then he grew closer to me, or so I thought. We had also broken things off after 2 years when he started dating a woman and got her pregnant. The break off didn’t last long and eventually he left her.

I was still leaving my marriage. 2 weeks before he broke things off in year 4, he wanted us to move in together. I figured it would make or break us and by then I had my own place and had separated from my spouse.

I have met many of his family, friends, his children love me. And then he started shutting things down. He ended up sending me a text from a different phone number saying that he regretted what we had done in the past, he was on a spiritual journey and that I need to find God too. He asked that I don’t contact him ever again. I didn’t respond to the text. Within a month, he was posting pics of his new girlfriend and him on facebook. That was last summer July.

I have seen him 4 times in our social circle. The first time he acted ashamed to be seen by me. He had his new girl with him. The 2nd and 3rd times he showed up on my sports team 2 weeks in a row as a sub where he acted nurturing, friendly, and jokey. The 4th time he walked up to me with his arms wide open, gave me a long full body hug, and I just snapped. I had never said anything to him and I asked him why he was hugging me when he told me to “F” off and never contact him again. He said he just wanted to say hi and he moved on. That was in the beginning of December and he has been dodging me since.

I have to admit that I truly loved this man. I accepted him for who he was, faults and all. It’s been 10 months and he has a baby on the way with this new woman (3 baby mamas and 3 kids with the youngest being 2 years old). Everyone says that this new relationship, no matter how much he might want it to work out, is a rebound. I say it isn’t and even if it is, he really wants it to work so it will. He had pictures of them plastered all over his page at one point. And yes, he unfriended me last year even though I only got emails about his page. I wouldn’t and don’t visit it.

Deep down, I still love him and I want him to want me and to make amends. I want that what I thought we had was actually something and that it wasn’t just my imagination.

My brain tells me there was nothing there. How can you dump someone like that, leave them holding bills you had together, and never talk to them again and think that there was ever any love there? How could I ever think that he will make amends?

I admit I hold out a shred of hope that he will apologize and be emotionally present. I know logically that since he wants his new love to be the one, that she is the one. And that he never felt anything for me.

My guy friend says he loved me and that there is a 50% chance he will be back.

Do you have any ideas about this situation? I am lost…

admin

May 12, 2014 at 6:46 pm

Are you saying you cheated on your husband with this guy?

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