6 Signs That Prove Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (And What To Do With Them)

2,943 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (The Definitive Guide)”

J

May 10, 2014 at 2:56 pm

It would be nice if you could maybe make an article for women who were unfortunate rebounds and discuss their chances of getting their ex back. I know that it might go against the thrust of the site, but this situation is a reality for some; and we have feelings too. We’re not the enemy or boyfriend stealers, we fall for a guy that’s just ready and it would be nice to have a frank discussion about our chances of getting our ex back.

I know that a different kind of article, but it might be a new challenge for you?

Thanks

admin

May 12, 2014 at 6:25 pm

I will put it on the list!

J

May 10, 2014 at 3:24 am

Hi Chris,

There’s this situation that I’m really confused by, and I hope you can help me understand. I went out with a guy when I was about 14/15. I cheated on him but I apologised, and we kept in contact. Over the years, he would pop up now and again telling me that he loved me, but he never really pursued me. When I was about 21, he came to stay with me at university. Nothing happened, I was unsure if I wanted it to, but he didn’t try anything. He went home and we lived our separate lives. I found out in the end that he had entered a serious relationship with some girl and updated his Facebook. I messaged him basically saying that I thought he would always love me, and I don’t understand why he has moved on (yeah, I know looool). He ended up telling me that I was crazy if I thought he was going to keep on waiting for me. So, I sent back a text message that was abit abusive and we left it at that.

Months later, we were friends on twitter (I just reactivated) and we began talking. He messaged me and we were catching up, he ended up telling me that he loved me and we started an adult relationship. As you can imagine after 3/4 months, this was abit soon and I asked him whether he really wanted to start something with me. He said that it had always been me that he wanted, and that if he could have married me back in the day, he would have.

However, during our relationship, I always felt that his ex was an issue and eveytime I wanted reassurance… He would get angry. I knew they still spoke, but he told me not to worry about it. It got to the point where I broke up with him, I did everything wrong (I won’t lie) and then he sent me a text saying that he felt that he moved on too quickly from his ex. But, he was sure that he loved me, that’s one thing he knew for certain.

I was devastated by this, because the same ex he was telling me wasn’t a problem… Was clearly the problem. So, I ended up messaging her and basically just asking her what was going on. She never responded to me, but she went to him. He was livid at me and had a go and we stopped talking for a long time.

Eventually my dad got sick and I reached out to him for support because I felt like he was the only person that understood me. He helped me move my dad’s car once, and then he was meant to come again in the new year. We had exchanged some texts prior and he basically said that I expected a really mature relationship even though we were at early stages. And that, he thought I was the mother of his children, his future wife etc. We didn’t work out for a reason, and he didn’t know what life had in store for us.

I told him that I felt like I had been cheated out of a fair chance at the relationship because it was like I had been given a version of him that I didn’t know how to be with; and that was difficult. He said that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me, but the hardest thing was that he really did.

He failed to show up in the new year. He text me and I text back, but he never came. I didn’t hear from him again, I did said him a text two weeks after asking him what had happened. But didn’t get a response. Fast forward to yesterday, I found out that he is now back with this ex girlfriend; and has been since at least March (I think).

I messaged him and said ‘up until this point, I thought that you and I could work out – even if just on a basic level’. He responded saying ‘you made your choice when you ignored me and treated me like a stranger, even though I offered to help you’. I responded asking him what he was talking about because the last thing I knew, he stood me up and I explained in more detail what happened from my point of view. I also forward him the email I sent shortly afterwards (although I think I got the address wrong, but I was waiting to give him a chance to tell me that).

After a few hours of not hearing from him, I decided to send him this text ‘You made the decision to get back with XXXX, after everything we went through; and although it’s not necessarily as easy as that, that’s what it appears to be.
You knew how I felt about you and you knew I was going through a tough time, but you still decided to get back with her without picking up the phone to call me and talk things through.’ – I also told him that I would stop messaging because I respect the relationship that he is currently in.

* Do rebounds ever win? Do you know any success stories?
I feel like I was half rebound and half someone he wanted to be with, but the timing was off.
* I’m just wondering, in your opinion, do you think the relationship will ever be salvageable?
In my heart, I think that I will always love him, but his decision to get back with his ex was a dickhead move and that’s really hurt our relationship. I don’t and can’t really see how ‘making up’ would work at the minute.
* Do you think this is something that he will regret?

admin

May 12, 2014 at 5:18 pm

1. Some do… its not impossible but generally the chances are lower.

2. If you think it is worth a shot then I say more power to you.

3. Yes.
J

May 22, 2014 at 10:02 pm

I didn’t feel satisfied with the fact that he didn’t respond to my final text. So, I went to his house out of the blue. If you know me in real life, you will know that I am a passionate person (this is often what gets me into trouble, but I am respectful – honest!).

He answered the door. His face was a picture! He was definitely surprised to see me, but we spoke after he warmed up a bit and a few things came to light while we were talking.

1. I guess I didn’t really understand the betrayal he felt when I messaged his ex, but I tried to explain that I didn’t feel 100% secure in the relationship and that was partly his fault because of the way he was to me, when we first broke up – but surprise, he couldn’t remember how he was when we broke up!
2. When I told him that the whole thing was messed up and he agreed that it was a messed up because when we got together, he was committed to a long-term relationship with me. But things didn’t work out, and he felt that he had to move on with his life.
3. In essence, I told him that I never left him, he left me and that I thought I could trust him and that he hurt me by standing me up. He said that he stood me up, because he felt like I became really impersonal with him (although I submit that he started that whole thing off!).
4. When I asked him whether he thought about me BEFORE deciding to go back to her, whether he considered my feelings etc. He said – No, not really (moron!)

I tried to cover as much ground as I could (to get what I needed), but what I realised is that we are both still really hurt with each other; and I just told him that now he has made certain decisions – these really have an impact on what we can and can’t do. He eventually asked about my dad and I told him things weren’t great and he kind of went silent (guilty silent, I think).

He walked me to the bus stop, when I hugged him goodbye, I was in floods of tears and he held me for quite some time – We stood and looked at each other for a minute and I actually had to walk away first.

Got home about an hour later, and his Twitter said this ‘I hate the word regret. I try to live my life with no regrets and accept that any decision I made, was what I wanted at the time. There always seems to be one exception though. Think tonight confirmed that for me. Such is life, you get on with it.’

Honestly, I do think that there is still a lot of love between us, but that a lot has happened and that we both need to move on from the distrust that was created between us – even if we move forward together or not. He is in a relationship now, but I can’t help feeling that I’ve actually just left my heart behind. I actually love him so much, and it’s like he doesn’t even know the extent to which I am being honest.

But, he left me when I really needed him and that’s what hurts me the most. The ex girlfriend thing is a side matter, but when I needed him, he left me. He said that he thought about me, but didn’t really want to take steps to reach out etc.

Questions:
1. Sad story, right?
2. Don’t love triangles break your heart?
3. Do you think it is easier for guys to run away from stuff that they are not confronted with (in person)? They are able to tell themselves lies.
4. Do you think that it is possible to love 2 people at the same time? Or, do you think that there always one person you love more than the other?
admin

May 23, 2014 at 5:17 pm

1. Yes it is.
2. I have never been in one and if I ever found myself in one I would exit it personally.
3. Yup, most people in general run away from their problems.
4. I think its not possible to love two people at the same time. If you fall for someone else it means you have fallen out of love with the other person.

frank

April 30, 2014 at 2:39 am

hey there, i just got out of a 2 and a half year relationship, the woman was head over heels for me and then she needed a break, she moved back in with her grandma and we were supposed to work on things, she had said she just wanted a friendship but still had feelings for me but they had changed, then my friend moved in who is a girl and she got all mad and said we cant work on things now, she was using phrasing like our house and our bed. then she still made comments about the girl when i’d see her.

around the same time not even 2 weeks after our splitting up she is hanging out with this 29 year old guy who is on probation with two kids, says she likes him and is taking things slow, my friend seen them hug and said it looked weird like there was no feeling involved…spoke to her and she said she still loves me and wants to work on our friendship.

what does this sound like to you? this was her longest relationship, we only split because our communication wasnt the best. do you think she is rebounding with this new guy? she also knows i dont like the guy at all, so could this be a factor?

admin

April 30, 2014 at 1:51 pm

You should check out my other site, Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

Erin

April 29, 2014 at 9:16 pm

Chris-
First of all, I just want to say thank you. Your entire blog has helped sooo much!

I’m stressed though.
I did nc with my ex for 30 days. I was really really sad for awhile, but then i went out and had fun again. Saw old friends. Went on a date with a guy from a dating site. Well, nc worked. My ex wants me back now and A part of me does love him, but when I was with him, I kinda forgot how to have fun.

I had so much fun on my date and im really starting to like this new guy. I’m not even sure if I want to get back with my ex.

Anyway, I screwed up. On the second date, we had a few too many drinks and in then heat of the moment I had sex with him. I woke up the next morning feeling so ashamed. The chase is over. I feel like I’m not a UG anymore.

I like this guy, but does he see me as an easy lay now? Is there potential for a relationship or did I blow it? Or do you think he could just be a rebound for me, and I just don’t realize it?
Zoe

April 29, 2014 at 1:20 pm

Can you help me please by giving personal advive by e-mailing each other?My case is different from most of the stories,and I would tell you the exact detalis,too 🙂
I would be really -really thankful for it 🙂

admin

April 30, 2014 at 1:25 am

I don’t do that anymore…. I just don’t have the time. I will answer here though.

Wonka

April 28, 2014 at 1:06 pm

I had a boyfriend who really loved me more than any other thing in this world. We were together for 3 years (2010-2013). He gave everything to me. And when I say everything, it is indeed everything. We were really happy back then. We love each other so much that no one can ever keep us apart. Yes, we also fought about silly things like any other relationships. Then I got too tired with his emotional personalities. He always cries when we fight. Just a simply thing, it gets bigger. And he cried and cried and cried. And it made me uncomfortable. Ive done so much thing that hurt him a lot. But he is still there for me no matter what. Last November, after our Anniversary. We fought and he broke up with me. He always broke up with me when we fight, but i know that he will just come back to me. But I didnt want any commitment for now. We are still in college and I am a graduating student (Already a graduate now). From November til March, we were still seeing each other almost everyday. But i know he is always hurt about my attitude. I have taken him for granted. When my graduation week started, he lays low. We seldom text anymore, and I got busy and we seldom see each other. Until this April. The last time I saw him was April 6, 2014. Then the week before last week, i knew that he is seeing someone. Then i begged him to be with me again. I am hurt. I am badly hurt. until now. Last Apr21, i talked to him personally, and begged him to stay. He already have a girlfriend (Apr 19), two days before we talk. He barely know this girl. They are seeing each other for almost 3 weeks. That April 21, 2014, The three of us talked, me, him and his new girlfriend. I begged and begged and cried and cried. I told him to choose me. I told his girlfriend to give him back. But She told me that it is upto him. Then i begged him to choose me. But he told me,”We were together for almost 3 years, you had me at my best, but you chose to break my heart” And HE CHOSE HER. I was badly hurt. I didn;t know what to do. I stood up crying. He didn’t let me go out because i might hurt myself. But i shouted at him, “what is the point of caring now? You chose her over me.” Then i left. I cried and cried. He told me that he found his happiness. and He love her. Then the next day, i texted him twice, but he didnt reply. That night he texted Good night! but i didnt reply. Next, he chat me on facebook. and told me that “i have something to tell you next time we talk”. And i answered him, “Tell me now” He called me, he was crying, he told me these words, “You know i can stil see my forever with you” “i am still confused” “maybe this is just a trial for us” “be strong”. He still cares. But after that day, he’s cold with me. He sometimes gets angry at me. But then he cares. But one thing he told me is “I dont love you. I love her more”

Now, i am still very sad and very hurt about the happenings. I am still contacting him, still making it up to him, though im badly hurt.

I am reading your blog but im having a hard time following it. Will the NO CONTACT RULE really help me? Im scared if he might love the girl more each day. Because he is the type of guy that gives everything for a girl.

I need someone to talk to. Really do.

Wonka

April 28, 2014 at 1:11 pm

He also told me that Apr21, that He woke up from the bad dream he is having with me.

Christina

April 22, 2014 at 8:34 pm

So, ive been on and off with this guy for two years we always end up working things out. The reason why it is on and off is because hes in college and i live two hours away. So he wants someone he can see all the time. This happend the same time last year starting in january where he started “dating/tlaking” to another girl it lasted a month then he came back. We were together since then till 2 months ago he broke it off but it was more mutual because im sick of it. So a month passed by and he met this girl through his buddys talking about her. He says they have been dating for a month, but they ment a month ago, already gotten in a fight saying there on and off, he said to his good friend i dont even know if im going to stick around bc shes kinda a slut and they are not even fb official? Does it sound like a rebound?

admin

April 23, 2014 at 3:42 pm

Has there been a plan in place for you two to be closer together?
Christina

April 22, 2014 at 8:40 pm

& not to mention we were together for two years and he never posted one picture of us on social media. But with her he post pictures saying the beautiful (name)? It makes no sense and he texted my friend saying i need to stop stalking and harrasing them bc apparently all my friends are trying to add her? I cant control other people. I texted him saying i had nothing to do with that and im glad hes happy now. & he replyed with how hes happy now and shes such a sweetheart and shouldnt have to deal with being harrased and stalked like that, and how hes been selfish with me and hes sorry and how ill find someone bc im pretty and how are relationship was never going to go anywhere and how i need to get over how hes with someone else. But the funny thing is i deleted him off all social media a long time ago and havent tryed gettong in contact with neither of them and there saying im stalking and harassing… It honestly makes me laugh.

Daria

April 21, 2014 at 4:49 am

My ex was the perfect gentlemen (he is a Libra). But he was insecure and jealous and so was I. Anyways,he has a pattern of getting in new relationships quickly. I truly believe he is looking for love and can’t be single. He had a gf in the beginning of our relationship. I found out thru social media but forgive him. He broke up with her because he had me lined up.I ignored the signs like a dummy and I had to pay the consequence. Then he eventually left me to be with “Daisy Lynn”. But we were still having sex. Their relationship lasted for about 5 years. Now he is in another relationship and they are happy. He didnt give himself time to heal. And He wants to marry every girl that he meets. I finally had to cut him off because I got tired of the cycle and felt very drained and used.

admin

April 21, 2014 at 4:22 pm

The him having a gf before the relationship is a little… troubling.

Toy

April 20, 2014 at 1:31 pm

I love this. It was very helpful to me. I never thought I would be asking about things like this but when you really love your ex, and want them back you look for any advice. Thank you!

admin

April 20, 2014 at 9:17 pm

Haha hey I am glad you got something from it!

Lisa

April 19, 2014 at 4:56 pm

So me and my bf of four years broke up. He started to talk to someone after 2 weeks. Says she is a friend that it may or may not turn into something. Seems they are going that way. Then I asked him if she knows she is a rebound and he said yes. Now history on her. Recently divorced old high school friend. What do you think
Taylor

April 15, 2014 at 7:17 pm

I’m confused about the infographic at the end. Is that a timeline based off of how quickly he got into a relationship?

admin

April 16, 2014 at 4:13 pm

How long theyve been together.

admin

April 13, 2014 at 5:00 pm

By any chance did you read my male psychology guide?
A

April 13, 2014 at 7:17 am

Quick amendment: I realize I’m far too emotionally tied to this relationship at the moment and need NC so that I can see if I really WANT this. It’s possible that I’ll realize my ex and I shouldn’t be involved at all.

But at the moment, I feel like every move on my end counts because we live so close and he has gotten into a rebound relationship so soon. I just want to make sure I don’t push him further away during NC (if that’s even possible), and understanding where he’s coming from might help resolve that concern.
Tamisha

April 13, 2014 at 4:30 am

I need some answers…Long story short. My kids father (3 kids) and I been together 10 yrs, yes our relationship was a little rocky but we was working on it. Right before Christmas 2013, he left to go spend Xmas with his family for the very 1st time in yrs, he decided not to come back home becsuse his uncle got him a job working for him(contruction work). I was some what fine with that. On Jan18th he came back home to visit, and at that point everything was great! About a week later when he was back in LA, he change on me, not answering my phone calls and told me to just text.I knew something was wrong. Finally torwards the end of Feb he text me andsaid out of know where he met a new girl and fell in love. He moved in with this new chick and the end of March. I am confused.He was just telling me in Jan he love me and we were going to get married. Fyi my kids father told me he is going to marry this new girl in July 2014, and we were togther for 10 yrs. I was loyal to this man. I was good to him. I had put up with all his mess and now he is in love with a female he really doesn not know.I am beyond heart broken. Very confused.We just had our baby son March 2013.

admin

April 13, 2014 at 4:58 pm

…. god your kids dad sounds like a horrible guy to just leave his family like that. I mean, I can understand if it was to provide money and stuff but it doesn’t seem thats the case right?
Tamisha

April 13, 2014 at 7:59 pm

He is now with another woman. Will she be consider a rebound?
admin

April 14, 2014 at 5:13 pm

Did you read the chart on this page?

Diana

April 13, 2014 at 1:35 am

So, we had a relatively long relationship (4,5 yrs), and it was very love-and-good-memories-filled. Even though we did fight sometimes (we usually made out very fast after that), and we were also broken up a couple of times (not for long, and the fault was partially on both sides). Although he was always of the highest opinion about me, he left me saying that he doesn’t have feelings anymore, but he respects me very much and he doesn’t want to torture me. Right after that (less than two weeks later), he started hitting on this girl he had a thing for before for a short while, but she dumped him (even though She’s absolutely not his type mostly character-wise, but partially also appearance-wise). It could be only for sex… but if so.. why not with me?.. He knows (and I know) that I’m much better at that… I KNOW him like the back of my hand, and I know that almost all of her characteristics are absolutely not suitable for his tastes, but he STILL has these feelings for her and tries to follow her. I don’t understand. Could it be to raise his ego? Cuz I know he’s been broken when she dumped her, since he never was the DUMPED one before (I’ve been there to support him at that time), he also seemed like he started hating her afterwards, and said that he hated himself for liking a little whore like that in the first place (which she was). Then WHY does he keep chasing her? I don’t see the logic…
Soooo.. Do You think She could be a threat? Should I worry? Cuz I do… And also, do You think my Ex is forgivable, or is not worth trying to get back?.. While we were together, 80-85% of the time we were happy together.. doing what we both like, laughing, smiling and etc… and we have a ton of mutual interests. Thank You so much in advance for the reply.

admin

April 13, 2014 at 4:52 pm

You really ought to check out my latest guide here: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/using-male-psychology-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/
Diana

April 14, 2014 at 12:37 am

I’ve read it before too, it was really helpful, thanks. I think my ex is more of a combination of the good and some bad (of course) qualities.. But I’m just still kinda paranoid and worried, and don’t know what to think for sure..

Jamie

April 11, 2014 at 5:20 pm

My boyfriend and i were together on for 10 months, then we broke up but were still together everyday for months after. We have been back and forth about wanting to get back together but we had issues we needed to work out. We start to get close again and then we fight and dont talk for a few days. About a month ago him and i were close again and we got into one of our fights about him and other girls. He sent me a pic of some girl off the net that he took and said it was this Gene girl he met at the gym. he told me what she did for work and pretty much just tried to talk her up to me and say he didnt downgrade from me. Well after we made up some what were talking about until something came up and we faught over it again but this time i sent him a picture of some guy to make him jealous. I dont like the guy or even know him, i just wanted to make him mad. After that me ex got really upset, told me not to contact him at all and i should be contacting my new boyfriend. A few hours later he updated his fb to in a relationship with the girl from the gym. I text him right after i saw that and he said he put that on his fb on purpose to make me mad and he wasnt really dating her. Well he is really dating this girl. Since then we constanly fight, daily over anything, petty little things. He keeps saying rude things to me, he tells me things about this girl but when i ask him about his feelings he says he doesnt really know her and he is far from in love with her. We got into another fight, he told me i lead him to happiness. I asked him what that meant and he wouldnt tell me what he meant. he said take it as you want. Since then we havent talked. I dont feel like i can talk to him. What should i do? he seems to be changing himself a little for this girl but where do i stand with this now? I feel like he’s trying to replace me but i dont have proof how he really feels and he will never tell me how he feels. He’s just really distant now and mean to me. How do i handle this?

Thank you
tammy

April 11, 2014 at 3:19 am

My boyfriend broke up with me after 8 months and we lived together the whole 8 months and he broke up with me. Not even 3 weeks later he is in another relationship with somebody else. Would u consider her a rebound? If so how long do u think it will last?
Sarah

April 10, 2014 at 12:58 am

My boyfriend broke up with me after 8 months long distance. He was totally faithful the entire time but felt I deserved someone better and closer to me. He started taking home random girls 2 days after he broke up with me. What does that mean? I really meant nothing to him or he is actually really hurting and this is his way of dealing with it?
Agatha

April 9, 2014 at 2:26 pm

You certainly deserve a round of applause.. U gave in such depth knowledge of the topic.. Feeling relieved after reading this.. Thank you so much

admin

April 10, 2014 at 1:20 am

Seriously?

I look back and think I could have given more.

Jovan

April 8, 2014 at 9:39 am

We dated for a year and a half, we had AMAZING time, I’m her 1st boyfriend ever, we were so happy all the time, but last month of our relationship was rough, we got in mutual breakup without even thinking about it, we were hot headed. I went on a date with a girl, i just couldn’t hook up with her cause all i saw was my ex.She started texting a guy from school in the same time as i did. I told my ex that i couldn’t hook up with this girl cause i still love my her i asked her to wait for some time and try to work things out between us, but she said she wanted to try it with this new guy. After they’ve hooked up (17 days after we broke up) she texted me about it, i didn’t reply and tomorrow she came to me at school and i told her that we can’t hear each other for some time cause we still have hot emotions for each other. When i told her that, she hugged me and started crying, she held me for 10 secs and told me:”I can’t do this, i feel like I’m cheating on him”. They’ve been dating for 1 month now, and when she talked to our mutual friend she told her that she still loves me, still cares about me, i still mean hear a lot, but she needs this so that it doesn’t her too much, and as she was speaking she almost started crying.
My question is could it be a rebound relationship and what should i do? Please answer i need help 🙁

admin

April 8, 2014 at 6:19 pm

Have you seen my other site Ex Girlfriend Recovery?

You can ask questions about ex girlfriends there and I will answer.

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2,943 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (The Definitive Guide)”