6 Signs That Prove Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (And What To Do With Them)

2,943 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (The Definitive Guide)”

Nilofur

February 1, 2014 at 10:36 am

Really appreciate this article; definitely one of the better ‘how to deal with the Ex situation’ sort of articles I’ve seen. I just found out last night my ex is dating. It ended about 5 months ago, but we hooked up 2 months ago. It was a four year, incredibly intense and perfect – even with all the flaws – long distance relationship. The long distance really killed it as did my family’s disapproval (joys of Iranian traditionalism!). He had had enough and ended it. Truth be told – the break up, I think, was good for us bc we were individually going through a lot of crap that was making our amazing relationship toxic.

When we met up, all by chance and no planning, we had an amazing time but we didn’t leave on the same page. We kept in touch after, but after some time I noticed his tone change. He was ‘friend zoning’ me. Then he stopped contacting me and I had a feeling he was seeing someone. Lo and behold his roommate tells me he’s dating – his roommate was pretty shocked that he’s dating already.

I might, by the strange twist of fate, be moving to his city for work – I have no doubt we’ll cross paths and a part of me, even if I’m approaching acceptance of what happened, I would like to reconnect and this time do things right.

I have no doubt he’s rebounding/deflecting his feelings and forcing himself to move on (even though I know he’s careful about these things) – it just still kills.

This is different from ‘normal’ relationships because of the long distance factor – but despite that, we never spent a moment apart, constantly plugged into each other.

Think the movie Her. Except my voice is way less sexy than ScarJo’s.

Any insights on this relationship and prospects for reconciliation? I mean I know you can’t -determine- the future, but any advice on approaching this sort of a situation would be great.

admin

February 1, 2014 at 7:16 pm

I saw that movie… I thought it was interesting but some parts weirded me out.

Well, initially I would say start with NC!
Nilofur

February 3, 2014 at 6:06 am

It was weird. I agree. Maybe it was Phoenix’s mustache. Hehe.

NC is underway – he initiated it after I told him ‘let’s not pretend to be friends’almost two weeks ago. If I end up transferring to his town, should I initiate contact or wait?

cathrina

January 31, 2014 at 12:17 am

Love your wisdom, intriguing,engaged broke up after six years, taking all of your advice, processing it and realise I’m heartbroken, plenty of thinking time, changed every part of myself and my life to please him,he’s playing mind games,knows I’m so soft for him, result: I don’t want him back, I deserve so much better, I have a very loving nature and he’s not getting my heart for one more second, it’s tough but I’m going spending some quality time on giving myself t.l.c! Thanks Chris I will keep reading to keep strong in my mind!

admin

January 31, 2014 at 6:39 pm

Keep it going haha. You rock!

Mandy

January 30, 2014 at 5:02 pm

My ex and I of 2.5 years broke up almost 5 months ago. I’ll admit, I was the one who ended things and it wasn’t an easy break up (lots of crying, yelling). I felt like I had “emotionally checked out” way before the relationship was actually over, so getting over the break up wasn’t that hard for me. I wanted to remain friends but he told me he was too hurt and blocked me from all of his social media accounts.
Around the holidays I contacted him to see how he was doing. We had a nice, brief conversation and it seemed like he was flirting with me (calling me beautiful, gorgeous).
Fast forward to this week and I contact him again, and ask him if he’s open to hooking up (bad, I know). He replies and says “I’m sorry I have a girlfriend”. I apologize for contacting him and honestly, I’m very surprised, almost shocked.
A friend of mine found one of his new social media pages with a picture of him and his new girlfriend, my friend’s reaction was, “It’s so obvious that’s a rebound”. I thought so myself, knowing what type of girl he likes, she doesn’t look like his type at all.
I feel like I’m over him but a part of me isn’t, that’s why I contacted him. I also want to add that prior to him meeting me he was single for 6 years. How can he just jump into another relationship so soon? Do you think it’s a rebound?
Caleb

January 30, 2014 at 1:22 pm

Hey guys. My ex broke up with me. 3 days later she starts seeing this guy. She told me that she wsasnt looking it just happened. They met at a choir event. She tells me that she didnt wanna tell me cuz she is the guys 1st gf and he knows about you. So that makes me question what she really ants. If she deoesnt want a ltr than why is she dating a virgin? I fell hard for the girl who I lost my virginity and thatsw what i am scared of. But it seems like its a rebound cuz the night beforde they started dating she was ssaying that she is lonely and she cant see me cuz it hurts her to much. They share alot of common interests but my ex and I shared something very deep. She admits it. the guy is the complete opposite of me. Im just nvery confused. Im doing no contact and told her that I will talk to her in the future after I move on like she did.

admin

January 30, 2014 at 6:18 pm

I am actually working on a website for men about getting their girlfrinends back. If you want I can give you more information about it.
Caleb

February 4, 2014 at 7:19 am

Yes that would be great!!

Eli

January 28, 2014 at 7:22 pm

Oh, I forgot to say. Uhm, I think probably about a week. But, he’s been talking to her since last year Oct. So perhaps it was planned. I don’t think I’ll take him back. Yeah, I know most women say that. Everything changed within a few days. How I feel and see things. And, its also because of reading your stuff. So thanks for that.

I appreciate it.

admin

January 29, 2014 at 6:42 pm

You are welcome.

Sandra

January 28, 2014 at 5:09 pm

As we know, rebound relationships are not something gender-specific, and both men and women make recourse to that sometimes. I will share a story of a (female) friend of mine who actually married her rebound guy, after a 5 years relationship. They’ve been married for 2 and a half years now. Her feelings for this guy have always been lukewarm from the beginning. The guy was nice and fun, but she kept saying that she wouldn’t see herself growing old with him. Throughout the relationship, she fought the occasional wandering eye and a “reflection break” containing a strong crush on another guy, which ended up in tears. BUT her rebound guy always forgave her, and always took her back no matter what. And she realized she’s “better off” with him. So she married him. To this day, her feelings for her husband haven’t changed. She’s not happy. Same lukewarm story, and not even the wedding ring changes the fact that the guy was a rebound.
The point I want to make, regardless of gender and beyond facts and figures, finding out whether your ex’s relationship is a rebound also has to do with discovering how HAPPY and PROUD of his relationship he/she actually is. And, of course, what were his/her feelings for you, regardless of the length of the relationship. Because, for example, we could “rebound” also after an unreciprocated love or impossible love story which left us heartbroken and which we feel an intense urge to forget. This one’s my own experience from several years ago. 😉
So, I think it’s also good to focus on the feelings of the people involved rather than factual information. Well, ideally, for this, it’s better for us if we have some source of info on how our ex is really doing, beyond appearances, in order to find out how happy he is. And take it from there. 😉
Jenny

January 28, 2014 at 12:48 pm

Is it possible the ex boyfriend will fall in love with his rebound if he gets along with her better then he did when we were together? We were together 8 months and had a very strong chemistry with each other but also very passionate. We were so intense and argued alot. It’s been 3 months since our breakup and he told me he is committed to this new girl that he started dating right after our breakup and even went to the extent to tell me he loves her. What do you think?

admin

January 28, 2014 at 6:41 pm

It is possible but obviously if that happens it is not a rebound.

How long has he been dating this girl?

Eli

January 28, 2014 at 3:53 am

I’m not sure. But, I’m probably just trying to understand it. In a sense I’m kind of over it. I was just wondering what you’d make out of it. If it sounds like he’s confused or something.

Maybe I’m just thinking too much. And I guess, in the end it doesn’t really matter if he’s confused or just acting in some weird way 🙂

admin

January 28, 2014 at 6:29 pm

He sounds a little confused. People are so complicated and complex though its impossible to tell for sure you know.

Destiny

January 27, 2014 at 10:02 pm

Hello, I’m still not sure if he’s in a RR, we were talking for sometime and never made it official but I’m not sure how to feel about it we talked but never had time spent together in public, I mean he picked me up one night in front of his sisters, and even told people about me. But he was always “busy”. But at the moment I’m just writing based on how I feel. We talked for about three months, and we decided to take things slow and talked about a relationship together many times. The last few weeks he began to ignore and avoid me and he admitted to this. I told him that we needed to talk and he told me he wasn’t interested in a relationship at the moment because again he was “busy”, he said one thing then another. Like he talked about us having a relationship in the future when I was older and about me waiting but when I asked if he wanted me to wait he said if he was me he wouldn’t. He said the reason why he was ignoring me and being distant was because he’s a virgin and his hormones were getting to him and he didn’t want to hurt me. He told me not to be a stranger and to talk to him at church since we attend the same one and said he’d understand if I didn’t or didn’t want to. And I just said it would depend on how I was feeling. But about two and a half weeks later (today) he’s in a relationship which confuses me a lot. Why would he bother talking to me about waiting or even bringing it up if he was just going to get into a realionship. And I was shocked that he told me he didn’t have time for one when he does now. I then realized he spent New Year’s Eve with this female and that means he was talking to her before we ended things. Does this mean he cheated or simply didn’t want a realionship with me? If so then why asking me to wait? Or telling me to say hello when I see him at church? I’m just hurt, confused, and shocked by it all. Please someone help me out I need some advice, I’ve asked my grandmother what I should do and she said I should talk to him and I should wait. I pretty much told her about everything that was going on because at the moment she’s the only female in my life right now who I trust. She said that she thinks he still has feelings for me and wants me to wait. But I’m not so sure, if it wasn’t official and he jumps into a realionship after me it must not be a rebound, right? And he wouldn’t let her meet friends or family right? I’m sorry I’m rambling my mind is just swimming with questions and thoughts.

admin

January 28, 2014 at 6:05 pm

How long has he been dating her? Two weeks?
Destiny

January 28, 2014 at 10:36 pm

He’s been seeing her only for about 28 days, they made their relationship official yesterday so yeah about three weeks.

Franki

January 27, 2014 at 7:55 pm

My ex left me July 2013. However, we were weak(?) and kept seeing each other off and on through November 2013, while keeping it a secret from our mutual friends. The last time I saw him was Thanksgiving and then about 2 weeks into December, I find out he’s got another “girlfriend” (as he puts it) and he’s already introducing her to our mutual friends (that’s how I found out).
I’ll admit, I was perhaps naive and a big reason I kept seeing him in that off period was really because I thought he was changing his mind about us. Obviously, upon hearing this news from my mutual friend blew me away. They are still dating (about 2 months now)? I don’t know what to think. I’d appreciate your thoughts even if it forces me to have a reality check. It would be for the better.

admin

January 28, 2014 at 6:03 pm

What is your gut telling you? Do you think this is serious or just some rebound?
Franki

January 28, 2014 at 8:41 pm

I’m not sure. He’s 30 now and I was his first girlfriend ever so he would always talk about how he has ‘see what else is out there’. So, I’m not sure if my brain is right in thinking that he just wanted another relationship to prove that he can have more than one or if I’m just kidding myself. Our friends (who said they were surprised to even meet her so soon) said she’s like a down-graded version of me which adds to the weirdness (it sounds so mean! but I secretly love the support).

My brain says I’m too good for him, but my heart knows it was love…who do listen to!? He has confused me to no end.

Flor

January 27, 2014 at 3:27 pm

Hi, the article was so helpful for me and I wanted to thank you in advance. Actually now I think my ex is in a RR. We were together for more then three years. There always were a lot of on and offs between us but they always ended up in a more vigor return. We had a great physical relationship and mentally had so much on common to call ourselves lovers. Recently he was so upset with his financial and personal problems in his family. We hardly had an intimate relationship during last seven or eight months but we still were in touch and he used to express implicitly and even explicitly his tendency toward me and my body so many times while he gradually had started telling me the cliches like ”you’re better without me”, “you deserve a better person”, “go and find someone else” but he knew I loved him so much and I attributed these to his situation. Then less than three months ago we had an argue and he told me after that both of us are so tender in the moment and its better for us to stay away for a while and maybe we can try our chances later again. Then after about two weeks I saw a new girl on his FB page and later found out from a friend that she added him and he didn’t even know him before and even rejected her at first. After only a week of their friendship he told me that “leave me alone, I love someone else”, and after a month when I was desperate and sent him a voice msg he changed his status within 10 hours to “in a relationship” with a link to her page. It’s less than two months of their relationship and during last weeks I have stopped getting information about him letting him try his chances with the new girl to know himself better!!! The girl although is trying her best to ruin my image by telling him that I’ve sent her friend an email telling about my relationship with him! What a STUPID! Whatever, I keep calm and watch 🙂

Mary

January 28, 2014 at 4:36 pm

My ex-boyfriend and i break up like two months ago. We were together two years and 4 months. After a coupled of days we break up, he was already dating with a girl. He block me in Facebook and cut all contact with me. In less than a month from our separation my ex-boyfriend already have a new relationship,and they get engaged in less than a week. They supposed to get married in a couple of months. A few days ago we start texting and he told me he miss me and was still attracted to me, that he felt a lot of thing for me, that i did not know id]f he was happy or what he was feeling.I ask him if he still loves me, he did not answer. The same day he told me he was preparing everything because he was getting marry in a couple of month. I don’t know what to think. I really need your advice

Monica

January 26, 2014 at 6:18 pm

I’ll make ths short. Me nd my ex had been 2gethr fr 3 months. We had many happy times, but we had also faught quite often. The fights started getting more frequent. He then started behavnig diffrently, but he would say he is fine. Then a new girl came and he told me that she was showing an interest in him. I did’nt take it very seriously. he was however getting more distant and then we had another fight and he finally confessed that he was’nt sure if he still loves me. He asked for time and i gave that to him, but he was still behaving strangely and i noticed he was paying a lot of attention to the girl i mentioned before. Finally when i saw nothing was improving and he is still being aloof, i broke up with him. I came to find out that he started flirting with that girl from that very day. He is always talking to her in class, sitting with her, so much so that even his friends are getting angry with his attitude. We are ignoring eachother and when infront of him i always behave happy. I’m not sure if he is with her, and i’m not evn sure if he is at all attracted to her because i know his choices and she is definately not the kind he would fall for. Also he was’nt interested in her in the begining at all, so his sudden extreme interest is also suspicious. This may be attributed to the fact that he always liked to hang around with girls, and wanted to show off that he is popular among the girls. He stopped when he was with me, but he meight hav started again. Frankly i’m not sure of anythng, wht he is doing, why he is doing, what he really intends to do with this new girl. It is confusing me and seeing him with her hurts me vry vry much
Serena

January 26, 2014 at 12:41 pm

Hello,

I was with my ex girlfriend for a little over three years and I ended it with her almost 3 months ago because she was not very supportive with my busy schedule of going to school fulltime and working graveyard fulltime. She was very self centered and went into a depression because I could not give her the attention she wanted, but she told me her depression was from death anxiety. I broke up with her in hopes that she will knock herself into consciousness and do things for herself. She agreed that we should concentrate on our own selves. We tried being friends but that did not work out because our feelings got in the way. She has been contacting me almost every week playing the game of pushing and pulling me. Always telling me that she loves me and that she always will. I couldn’t take her games anymore so I told her that I am cutting her off completely and will not respond to her just last week.

I am writing this because I just found out that my ex girlfriend has someone else already and she is with a guy!!!! When we were together she was repulsed by guys. tonight I went to the gym to find my ex at the same gym and a couple days before that my coworker tested me saying she saw my ex and my job with a guy and they looked liked they were together but I thought maybe it was just one of her gay guy friends so it didn’t bother me. So it was awkward when I saw her. I said hi and didn’t say anything else and kept to my own business. I saw the guy have one of my shirts on and got instantly hurt and angry. I went up to them and said he has my shirt on, my ex replied and said I told you to get your stuff. I couldnt believe he was wearing one of my shirts. I felt so disrespected, hurt, and an idiot. Is he a rebound? I believe he is but I just want a confirmation. And I can’t get the image out of my head that they are intimate. Any ideas on how to overcome that?
Sam

January 25, 2014 at 2:28 pm

Are men aware that their rebound..is in fact a rebound relationship? Or do they think of these new relationship as a genuinely new relationship? Also if they’re in denial at first, is there a eureka moment where they realize what they’re doing? Would that be then a deal breaker and thus the end of that rebound, the moment they come to?

admin

January 27, 2014 at 6:56 pm

Some men are some men aren’t… I think it is more of a feeling thing. Like being with the person dulls the pain but then they soon come to the realization that this person isn’t what they want.

Eli

January 25, 2014 at 1:47 pm

I’m so happy I found this. I need a guy’s opinion.

It is kind of long. But, I hope that you’ll take the time to read it…

My ex left me about 5 weeks ago. We lived together for just over 4 years and dated for 5 years. We had a wonderful relationship, we were like best friends. Ourselves entirely, we never had to pretend. Hell, we even had the same dreams at night. We were so close. Things started changing, for him. I think he needs something new. And, I cannot give it to him anymore. For years I went out of my way to help him. I know he appreciated it.

Anyways, 4 months ago everything, his personality, the way he acted changed. One day, I asked him what’s going on and he said he doesn’t feel anything. He broke up but came back the same night because he “regretted” it. It sounded different in his head I suppose. So, I tried to make it better. He told me he might be Bipolar. He had all the symptoms. So, I helped him with that as well. Then, a month later I found messages on his phone by accident. He was cheating on me online, with his ex (he doesn’t even know her that well by the way). I confronted him but I left and he followed me and told me that he’s sorry, that he’s happy I saw the messages because he wouldn’t have been able to tell me himself. He went on his knees and apologized. And, the whole Bipolar thing made me think, maybe its that. He told me, he only wanted to “use” her because she was there. And that he doesn’t care about her. After that, everything was back to normal, actually everything great again. He really tried. Then boom, it happened again. He just had a meltdown one night and broke up with me because he felt “dead inside” … Yeah, “Bipolar episode again” I don’t even know if its real. I feel in my heart that he has it, but whatever …

Then, a week later he had to leave to visit family. I had to stay here. He went on his knees, told me he wants to marry me that wants to be with me for the rest of his life, that I’m his everything. He cried. I packed his bags and he didn’t want me to. He didn’t want to go anymore.

The night before he left, our last night was the last time I saw him. And, I remember everything in detail. It still makes me cry, because I know he didn’t want to go.

Then, a week later he broke up with me via text. Yeah, I begged, embarrassed myself so badly. But, I stopped and tried the whole no contact rule for 20 days.

What I want to know is, and I know you cannot answer for him. What can you make out of it?

Here are a few things that just doesn’t make sense.

It was always hard for him to choose between me and her, for years. He spoke to her every time he visited family. I only found out recently. (I don’t know if its because he wanted something fun on the side and something serious or real to return to)

He kind of proposed to me before he left. He cried? …

He told me I was his “safe zone” and that he stayed he felt safe.

He’s dating his ex now (they hardly know each other, it was mostly online like an online relationship)

He told me he used me to stay with me.

I really don’t know if he’s just confused. I want him to be happy. I won’t try and get revenge, I’m not like that… I just, get such a headache thinking of it. I need to know. And he sure as hell won’t give me straight answers or real closure. My whole confidence is nonexistent because of it.

I know I won’t take him back. Especially now that he might be in a rebound relationship. I don’t even know if it is one. Because he started cheating long ago.
I know he won’t come back anyway. I feel like he just used me for months or maybe even a whole year. And it makes me so angry because I always put him first. I could have used those 5 years to focus on what I needed.

admin

January 27, 2014 at 6:55 pm

So, do you just want some guidance on healing?

Ma'Kashia

January 23, 2014 at 1:29 pm

Hi, Chris okay so me and my now ex boyfriend has been together for 6 months and then this new girl came into town and he started showing interest in her now mind you when she first got here she was about to enter into a new relationship with someone that she first met when she got here then it fizzled then her and my now ex became interested in each other… he cheated on me with her but she claimed that she did not know that me and him was together at the time even when I did tell her that me and him was and even one of her friends came up to me and told me that she knew (when she wasn’t around) this happened in october then the beginning of november he immediately left me for her… but at school she flirts with other dudes and on the bus she even sits with other dudes… can you tell if my ex is just going to use her?

admin

January 24, 2014 at 5:11 am

Well, does she meet the rebound qualifications?

Erika

January 23, 2014 at 12:17 am

So il make my story a very long story short lol my story is that I dated my ex for a year and 8 months. When we first started dating I knew he had a daughter with his past girlfriend but he told me he wanted nothing to do with he and he tried everything he could to keep his family together but he just couldn’t do it. I knew when I was 16 and I am now 21 so when we started dating I didn’t care he had a kid because I liked him so much. So 3 months Into our relationship I got pregnant we were both pretty happy about it and we moved into our first apartment together. After the baby was born everything went down him he never really helped me Nd he turned into a whole different person. Il never forget December 1st is the day HE walked out. Our son was 7 months old at the time and one week later he’s back with his ex girlfriend already living with her and I haven’t heard from him since the day after Christmas when he said he was gunna drop off my sons Christmas gifts he got him, but he never did and I never heard from him ahain. It hurts because I feel like I tried so hard to be the best mom and try to keep us together and he didn’t catr and it was so easy for him to up and leave us. It kills me because I never wanted this for my son. I can’t believe after everything we’ve been through he went back to his ex girlfriend that he “hated” so much it makes me sick.

erin

January 24, 2014 at 5:38 pm

Erika i no exactly what your going through
admin

January 24, 2014 at 4:48 am

Honestly… I think he is a total jerk.

It makes me sick too Erika. It really does.

erin

January 21, 2014 at 2:55 pm

Hi chris. Its Erin remember me lol well..here i am again…my ex and i .were together 3 years .lost a baby….we broke up in sep. …i left him….welk of coure i realized i coukdnt be without him,so of coutse i was texting him n was ignoring me ..he never once answerd my cals….around Nov he started saying he missed me but it wasnt going to work the way he treated me i new then and there he had someone else…he was treating me shit talking to me like.what erin what do u want .go do your thing .enjoy life” like i was nobody chris :(… wel sure enough.sat he post a picture of him and his new ” gf”? :'( i mean the whoke tbree years we were rogether..in the begging he never did that to me .never..mind u .they told me she s divorced 2 kids and a rn. I cant believe he s doinf this chris.i always asked him i new there was someoen else he kept telling me…. theres no one erin stop already ! Sure enough 🙁 i m not even going to bother sending gim a text saying im happy for ypu becasie i no he will laugh at me ! :'( i dont no what else to do chris.is she a rebound? We broke up in sep of 4 years .we went through so much.how is he going to jump into a relationship so quick? :'(

erin

January 31, 2014 at 8:02 pm

🙁

Heartbroken

January 21, 2014 at 12:09 pm

I’m dealing with a bunny boiling rebound who is pretty controlling over my ex boyfriend (backed up by with variety of evidence). I have a suspicion she has read our texts and intervened with our ‘catch up’ this week, which has resulted in him cancelling. Will he soon see sense or is there something I can do? Its to the extent where I actually pitty him and feels he needs a friend to talk to.
chem

January 21, 2014 at 2:01 am

My bf and I lasted for a 1year and 3mos…in the beggining he is always taking care of me..I trusted him much..I did my best as his gf ,supported him in anyways including his family I also tried in helping him financially so that he would be able to continue his studies..as time passed we he stop texting and calling me like d old times he was always taking his time for me…but at the end he changed,he’s not like before..like I was only the one carrying our relationship..he always tells me that he’s busy at work yet when he’s staying at their home he is only playing computer games,giving me different reasons when he cannot reply Immediatly to my text and call..I can sense that our relationship has becoming cold..then I caught him many times lying to me..then 1day I called him asking why he’s not texting or calling me..he just sed”don’t give stress for this day”it was the first time he told me that..he immediately asked for a space..I granted his request..then I waited for a week..I did not receive any message or call..after a week I opened his Facebook then I was shocked that he unfriend me..like what did I do to u??but still I can search him and open his Facebook when I scanned some of his pictures I saw this common girl that kept on liking his photos then I decided to send a friend request to the girl…she confirmed the other day..then I was shocked that my ex boyfriend and the girl had plenty of pictures..I looked for the dates,I saw that she’s w/ her a week before he asked for a space..like,it just almost 3weeks after he asked for a space,then I saw him w/ another girl..it hurts much and I need to know if there is still a chance for us?please advice me about this..

admin

January 21, 2014 at 6:03 pm

I think there is a chance sure but it will take some patience. Are you 100% certain that this new girl and him are dating?
chem

January 23, 2014 at 1:26 am

Yes I’m pretty sure because I saw them both in all photos that they’re sitting beside each other..and I saw the teddy bear that the girl was holding is the same teddy bear he gave me..

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2,943 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (The Definitive Guide)”