How To Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Still Loves You - Signs Your Ex Is Still Interested

1,415 thoughts on “This Is How You Know If Your Ex Still Loves You”

Jjo

June 12, 2014 at 7:47 pm

Ok. Here goes: I’m older than my ex (I’m 34, he’s 29, soon to be 30). We met unexpectedly and it was a whirlwind romance. Everything was amazing for both of us. I had never been with anyone else I enjoyed being with more; we loved doing a lot of the same things, were both musicians, and if we disagreed on certain things, it wasn’t a big deal. We never fought. We laughed a lot and made love a lot. I was pretty certain I had found “the one.” Then two months into the relationship we had the marriage/kids convo and discovered that we were not on the same page. He never wanted to get married and have kids and I thought I did. However, after LOTS of processing, I realized that I have so many things I still want to do in my life and that these were not necessarily deal breakers. That as long as I have his love in my life, I’d be good, and I meant it. I moved into a new place down the road from his place, and we were happy. His brother said to me he thought I was good for his brother and that he’d never seen him happier in his life. A month ago, he went away for about 4 days and I didn’t hear much from him. I was used to having him say he missed me often so I said, “I guess you don’t miss me anymore.” He said he did, but was secure in our relationship and didn’t feel that urgency. The next day he texted me that he missed my kisses and two days later he surprised me by showing up in my apartment (he had a key) and everything was great with the world. The following week I got bugs in my apartment (which we both tried to combat at midnight) and had to stay at his place while things were fumigated.

That weekend we went away to his family’s place and since we were near my mother I planned on visiting her as well one of the nights. The first night I cut my foot and he took care of me, bandaging and nursing my cut. The next day we went to lunch with his friends before I was to leave. I got a migraine so I relaxed for a bit, and he was concerned. Then I got up, felt better and left. Two hours later he sends me a text saying that he misses me already, that he would’ve liked if I stayed and that I’m always in his thoughts. The next day I drive back down and decide that instead of driving back home, I’ll stay one more night and drive down the next morning. One of his friends had to work the next morning as well, which my ex forgot in the plans because he was supposed to drive him back himself. Luckily he lives down the street from me also, so I offered to drive him. That night we make passionate love and sleep for a couple of hours.

The next day I am told I have to have a medical procedure AND I got laid off (already got a new job). I am understandably distraught and call him. He’s busy, so I talk to him later that night for two hours and we make plans for him to come the next night to my place to comfort me while I make dinner. The next day his chores last much longer than he planned and he ends up coming to my place at 11pm. Again I am understandably upset because I’m having a rough week. He comforts me, we make the most amazing passionate love again and in the morning I go to work and he goes home. I send him a text while at work thanking him for the previous night and he says it’s his pleasure. Then the next day I get some more bad news and text him telling him and say I could really use some good news, but barely hear from him. By that Friday I haven’t really heard from him so I ask him over. He comes over with beer and I ask him where he’s been for the past couple of days. He says he’s been thinking for the past month (month! which i find hard to believe), that he’s been wanting to break up. That we want different things, that he doesn’t feel the same way that he used to feel for me, because he knows he “has me”, that he can’t be the man I want him to be, and that he needs to “be alone, that he thinks he’ll always be alone, and that he doesn’t think he wants to spend the rest of his life with anyone.” Needless to say I am floored and say what about being secure in our relationship, and missing me and all that. He said he’s always been nothing but honest with me, so explain that. He had no response to that I asked him if there was someone else and he said no, that he’s been in a relationship for a straight year (he broke up with someone he wasn’t that into to date me – which I also found out that night) and wants to be alone. The relationship with the girl before lasted six months and the breakup with me happened on the night of our six months together also. When I mentioned that he seemed surprised. We talked for an hour, but nothing. I didn’t believe a lot that was coming out of his mouth, for it seemed like he was trying harder to convince himself that what he was saying was true rather than me.

I didn’t imagine the feelings he had/has for me, and I’ve been dumped before so I know when something is over. But this doesn’t FEEL over. The overwhelming majority of my friends (they all liked us together) think he’s not ready for commitment and is running away from his feelings. I thought we were getting closer, deeper, and more serious in the past month that he said he had been contemplating the breakup.

It’s been 19 days since then, I’ve had NC with him, he hasn’t called or texted. However, yesterday I was in the grocery store with my mom and though I made sure to look for his truck, as we were leaving, BAM! There he was with his mother. We didn’t make eye contact, but we were both flustered, and he looked kind of sad. They left before we did and then they passed right in front of my apartment. That was yesterday. It messed me up. But I have still maintained NC. I love this man with every fiber of my being and still want to spend the rest of my life with him. I don’t want to sit around and wait, but I feel like he’s making a grave error here – we were great together and I am a fantastic catch. My question after all this is: do you think he is running away, and if so, is there a chance he’ll realize it and come back to me some day?

admin

June 15, 2014 at 3:41 pm

Well, my question to you is do you think you can become such an influence in his life that he would come back?
Jjo

June 15, 2014 at 4:15 pm

How can I maintain NC (I’m at day 22) and yet be an influence on him? I feel like I was a good influence to some degree, which is why his family liked us together. But how can I continue from afar?
admin

June 16, 2014 at 2:02 pm

Usually you are going to have to wait until NC to really hit hard on the influence.
Jjo

June 16, 2014 at 2:30 pm

So I should just continue the NC until my 30 days are up? Then the text messages and other steps?

From the male perspective, does it sound to you like he is running away due to fear of commitment? And how could a relationship like this result in him not even texting or calling me once during NC? How does a guy go from I miss you after two hours one day to nothing for the following month?

shania

June 12, 2014 at 12:53 am

Hi . So i broke up with my boyfriend well ex boyfriend now about 2 months ago. So i broke up with him because i got jealous of this girl who was on his cover photo on facebook. I was on his cover photo before he removed me and replaced her. I said to myself why does he have this girl as his cover photo im his girlfriend i should be the one on his cover photo. Well i mean many couples go out and may still have another person besidea there gf/bf as their cover but me no i couldnt think of this situation as him just having her there for friend purposes. I mean im his gf he shoulf of told me you know babe i want to change my cover photo and put a new girl there , it doesnt mean nothing she just wants to be there and i wanna be a good bf so you dont think i left you for her im just telling you so you dont get mad and think other wise but nope he didnt say anything like that. So i broke up with him and he askes me why so i said because i want to . I didnt tell him the actual reason . We have mutal friends and they tell him that im crying and stuff and he broke my heart which they werent lieing it was true . But i didnt only break up with because i was jealous but because i felt our relationship was drifiting away because he stop bothering me like he would normally do on a regular basis . Now i feel some type of way because he didnt even ask me if i was sure i wanted to break up with him or he didnt keep asking me until i told him the real reason he just gave up on us . So hours or a day later that same girl who is his cover photo is now his gf. Now i really feel some type of way because i didnt really wanna break up with him in fact i actually loved him . I deleted him immidiately after i broke up with him . I thought he would of cared that i broke up with him but i guess not because he has the nerve to put him and his ” baby ‘ just finish talking . I broke down in tears i thought he really wanted me just as much as i wanted him but in a blink of an eyes he found himself a gf. So i didnt want anything to fo with him i was so heartbroken i even wrote it out in letters . He then decides to take me back i guess after he figured i missed him so much but that dont mean nothing he went out with me for the second time and said he gonna break up with the other girl for me . I thought it was true i believed him until he broke up with me . The second time i didnt really care but he kept touching me and out of no where me and him started talking and people swore we were dating again the way how he mess around with me so did i . Then he inboxes me saying how he is sorry he broke up with me and hes in love.with me.and im just like um o really and hes like yea . See the problem is he likes me and several other girls who he messes around with plus he has a gf . Im just trying to let him go and fall out of love for.him because my love is goin to waste with him and hes unsure of his feelings for me plus he has other girls tgat likes him and he likes them too thats not my business but i really loved him i thought he did too but his world seems to be very complicated. I need help

admin

June 15, 2014 at 3:20 pm

OMG… you have every right to be jealous. What was he thinking putting another girl as his cover photo?

Anonymous girl

June 10, 2014 at 11:01 am

Hey haha. Ok Chris, normally I don’t even comment to these types of things but I’m not sure how to deal with this.

I had a boyfriend for a year or so, we’ve been through a lot of stuff.
Six months ago we broke up, and I acted really desperate – and after that applied the NCR for three weeks – which made him contact me. We tried again for a week but I can’t love him if he is unable to love himself, since he is unable to be truly alone – so we broke up again in desperate state.

Three weeks after that he got himself a new girlfriend, which he is probably using to replace me with. This I believe because they do all the things together that we did, and he makes sure of it that I know this as I stop by (he lives with my best friends so I still see him from time to time). But when I’m alone with him because they leave the room or when I leave the house, he offers to walk me to the bus station or talks to me about things we used to do. Making me food, showing interest. Talking about games we used to play or ‘I haven’t visited that place since we last did’. Talking how he changed in things. To cut the story short, wanting my approval.

Obviously he is still into me, and there’s even a part of me that wants him back. But he is still with someone else in this weird unemotional relationship that isn’t going anywhere of which I’m sure he is putting on an act. In the beginning they were really over attached, constantly kissing and he was acting fake. I did not show any emotion, making it seem like I didn’t care. Now when he’s with me he’s not paying attention to her feelings at all, becoming a completely different person. He doesn’t even dare to say her name out loud when I’m there. It’s like he’s manipulating me.

What should I do with him, should I say or do something about this? I would tell a lie if I said I don’t want him back, but talking to him about this is to direct and would make me seem desperate (or maybe completely deny all these facts). Which he doesn’t deserve since he’s been a real dick and starting this weird relationship with someone else (and will probably be hurting her too). Should I just have patience until he will bring the subject up or let him go?

Thanks!

admin

June 10, 2014 at 4:12 pm

Haha glad you commented! I love first timers.

Hmm… May I ask his age?

Emma

May 27, 2014 at 3:57 am

My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago telling me it was his fault not mine. I texted him the same day asking can we just not break up. And he replied that it’s hard to love someone who doesn’t love herself. But I really can’t figure out which part I did not love myself. And then after a week he asked one of my friend how was I, so I texted him saying let’s be friend, but I need time. Then I texted his mom say thank you for taking care of me. He sent me an email that night saying he did not appreciate me contacting his mom and I need to treat myself with more respect. I mean I only wanted to say thank you and I don’t know why he thinks I don’t respect myself. I really don’t know if he still cares about me or not. Cuz he deleted me from tweeter and skype. 🙁

admin

May 27, 2014 at 2:46 pm

Did he give you a more definitive reason for the breakup at all?
Emma

May 29, 2014 at 12:32 am

No, he just told me we are not right for each other. And then texted me saying “it’s hard to love someone who doesn’t love herself”. I don’t even get which part I did not love myself. 🙁
admin

May 31, 2014 at 3:27 pm

Did he think you didn’t love yourself or something?
Emma

May 31, 2014 at 10:00 pm

Yeah, appearantly he did but didn’t tell me before we broke up…

monsterr

May 17, 2014 at 9:53 am

Well, i’m not sure what advice I want out of this, or if this is simply to get it off my chest or to pretend I have a friend out there. This is a long story – but if you like gossip, a lot has happened in the past few months of my life.

About two months ago, my boyfriend of four years and I broke up. We had been drifting apart since he had met someone else, however he tried to deny his feelings for her and stayed with me for a few months, making me feel alone and making me push to try and get some affection from him. Needless to say, as much as I tried, he left me to be with her.
I hit a low point when I found out that they were dating as she was my friend and I felt betrayed. I went home, sat in a corner and just screamed and cried. The pain was very physical and I eventually drank poison and ended up in hospital. From the break up to that stage, we hadn’t talked. I had only talked to her.
The day I was released from hospital, he said he would talk to me. I didn’t know if I would be able to speak so I wrote a letter stating my feelings and memories that haunted me every day. He read it, cried and said he wanted to be friends if I could handle it. I thought I could, so we hung out that day as an experiment. Needless to say, he ended up cheating on her. I will spare the gore-y details, but I will state that I had tried to stop it and it was not me who initiated. I told him beforehand it was a bad idea because I still had feelings for him and wanted to be with him still, I tried to pull away but I guess he wanted it too much and well, one thing led to another.
Guilt racked me more than it affected him, for him it was out of sight and out of mind and he wanted to be friends still. It didn’t take long before I spoke up and told her what had happened. She said that she thought she knew that something was happened, and thought about leaving him when he said that she forgave him. Tip one to me how much she lied to him and hid from him. Worried about the side effects if she did leave, I cancelled a holiday to stay near him in case she did.
Angered, he wouldn’t talk to me anymore. Not for a few weeks anyway before we were on a talking basis again, me having moved on from being so attached. Feelings still present but not wanting to act – he was a cheater. I had accepted things. Last weekend, my parents were out of town. I had the house to myself (I had lived with him for a year, upon break up I moved back home with my parents). It came up in conversation and we were both quite into gaming but his new partner wasn’t so he admitted he missed gaming nights. This night I will go into a bit more detail with.

I was excited to see my friend again, although I had concern about his real motives. Before he had decided to come over, he said that he shouldn’t because I was just ‘too good looking.’ (Joking? Maybe?) I laughed at it and said I would tone it down. He said that he would come over and if his girlfriend asked, he was at his friend’s house gaming (although she didn’t know that we were talking again). When he arrived, he said that he had a sore neck and asked me to massage it. I gave him an odd look, expected to be on the end of 20ft barge pole and closeness was far from what I expected. Not wanting to show my unease, I obliged. I mentioned that I had seen someone extremely hot while I was in town, and that his smile made my heart melt and feel weak at the knees. Due to him getting off the train, I wasn’t able to talk to him and I said “He was probably my true love and I never got to talk to him” I had joked, but the look of utter pain on his face and the silence that followed after made me quickly change the subject. I got the liquor out and started the drinking for the both of us, attempting to encourage him to drink as I wanted to play some karaoke. He asked me if I had started up kick-boxing, like he had. I said that I had attacked the punching bag a few times. He offered to give me a lesson and ended up tackling me to the ground, being rather close. I pulled away again, not letting anything happen even with alcohol riddling my system. I sat on the floor, leaning against the couch and he asked me to massage his neck again after plopping himself between my legs. At this stage, I was getting confused. I asked to get the x-box out he said “Oh, I can’t be bothered. I just want to sit here and talk with you.” He finally started drinking and I finished a whole bottle of cream liquor, 7.7 standard drinks at 14% as well as a bottle of KGB. He skulled 4 bottle of Corona in about an hour, in that time us just talking about nothing in particular. He asked to go into the spa, so I said that I would get my togs. He said he didn’t have any, and wanted to go in the nude. I asked him if he wanted me to put togs on still and he just said “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” I saw this as logical – living together we had walked around the house together naked without caring. Therefore we stripped naked and got into the spa – being quite a large spa I made sure there was distance between us. That didn’t last long, however. We chatted for a little bit, I shut down anything that sounded like flirting. I guess he gave up on words, as he slowly brought himself closer. Eventually, he had his arms on either side of me and was so close that you couldn’t fit a pin in between us, although we weren’t touching. It’s here I will say that I had told him before that I had social anxiety and that I had trouble with people entering my personal bubble. He asked me “Am I too close?” I admit, my response was only out of a bit of feeling romantic “I never feel uncomfortable with you. You’re the only one I let this close.”
My head was turned away as he was a bit too close, even if I wasn’t uncomfortable. I turned to look at him and that is when he kissed me and that is when we were out of control. And you can say that he didn’t know what he was doing, but he knew exactly what he was doing. The sad thing is, i’m single. I have been since. I was more apprehensive about it than he was. Both times he cheated, he initiated. He knew what he was doing because we didn’t stay in the spa. We moved to couch, and eventually to bed. We had a stage where we looked at each other while we were moving, and giggling, and we had a chance to stop and think. I know he did. He chose to continue. Once it was over, he didn’t cry. But he stopped. He sat in a corner and just looked down. He opened up a little bit and understandably was a little apprehensive of my touch. His words turned to suicide – that he was such a bad person he didn’t deserve to live. I talked him out of it, not with kind words, but by saying you deserve to live to face your consequences and mistakes. In amongst all this, he had kissed me again. Short, and brief. After that, I moved away and sat on the couch, thinking I was too close to him for his own good. He got out of his corner and crawled into my lap where I just held him, saying nothing. Eventually we migrated to my room, where we lay together, cuddling. Like we had used to. Before he drifted off, he said “I missed this.” Later that night he woke up in a jealous rage, asking me if I had ‘cuddled’ with someone else. I said no, and he told me not to lie. I asked him what he was talking about and then he realised that he was only half awake and dreamt that I had “cheated” on him with someone else.
The next day he woke up and said he should get up, I went to move and he held me tighter. Alcohol cannot be blamed for us falling asleep together.
We agreed on a friendship. We went and watched a movie together, and then the crowded mall got too much and I had a panic attack at all the people and he held onto me until I calmed down enough to drive home alone. At one point I had pulled out of his hold and said that I needed to do it on my own and tried to move away, at which point he grabbed me and held onto me again. I started weeping, for reasons unknown to myself except perhaps confused feelings.
We chatted alot after that – meaningless dribble through facebook and Snapchat. And then she found out we were talking. She refused to talk to him and swore and cursed at me for “betraying her trust.” My only thought was “if only she knew how much.” I had respected her, but she was also tormenting my friend. Making him hate himself. That was alright for the first day, but it hasn’t stopped. I feel like he’s only as happy as a caged animal can be. I eventually had enough and told her that she’s too insecure and that she doesn’t seem to care about her own boyfriend. He told me that I needed to stop talking to her – so I did. I see his misery regardless. We watched a movie yesterday – and it was natural. He was sad, I could see that. We joked about what had happened last week. I mentioned that I wouldn’t need to get him drunk to get him like that, as a joke, and he got flustered. Trying to say that yes I would. “My body said yes my mind said…look I didn’t enjoy…that’s a lie. I did. A hell of a lot.” I also noticed that in all this, he isn’t referring to me as his ex. I’m just “someone who he used to date” or “a friend.” He’s had opportunities to call me his ex, but he doesn’t despite the fact I use it frequently.
I was shivering in the movie and he gave me his jacket. After the kissing scene he tried to give me a fright. I asked for the time, and looked at my own watch and joked that “I wasn’t asking you!” so he forced his watch into my face and then hit me on the forehead with it. I pretended to cry, and he said “Aw poor baby” and rubbed my forehead. During the movie we were both leaning towards each other. We parted with a hug.
He texted me saying “Goodnight, have a good sleep I’ll ttyl”
That’s the last i’ve heard.

As you can see, drama. I’m refusing to let myself feel anything – and succeeding for the most part. At the moment, I’m just strapping myself in and seeing what happens. They are in a long distance relationship – they only see each other every two weeks. I don’t know what I want. Part of me wants to tell her out of anger for how she’s treating him and I. I don’t hurt like I used to, I can’t say i’m still ‘infatuated’ with him. Because I’m not, I don’t feel the way I used to. Friendship is on my mind, and that is all. Although, deep down I know that if he wanted me back, I wouldn’t hesitate. I don’t want a “what should I do?” I want people’s opinion on the matter. About what people think he is feeling in all this, as well. I have my suspicions but am not allowing myself to dwell.
Thank you, if you read all of this. I tried to make it as short as I could with enough truth for people to understand my situation.
Due to my social anxiety I don’t have a friend bar the ex.
Anyway, thank you

admin

May 20, 2014 at 8:43 pm

What makes you infatuated with him specifically?

Cherry

April 18, 2014 at 7:08 am

Hi, just to make to the story short we live together for 12 years then broke up for 2 years he had two relationships. I’ve done all those no contact and it worked. Then we were together again just last year and we’re five months now since then. I broke up with him recently we had a big fight because of his recent ex when they are still together they agreed to renovate the other part of the house all expense paid by the girl. Since he can’t give back the full amount of the expenses paid for the renovation she have to rent the house for 4 years, she have no intention of moving out, she had 4 kids. First I didn’t think it will bothers me but when I’m already on that situation it kills me. he’s too close with her sons and from time to time he talks to her with regards to the house billing. I don’t know if I’m just paranoid or jealous but those “5 signs if your ex still likes you” (which I refer with my bf to his ex) you mention on your article I saw this signs to my bf sometimes I catch him sneak looks at her and had her no. on his phone.

I told him if he wants to go back with her he can do so I even ask him I’ll talk to the girl coz she still in love with him she told me that when he broke with her and get back to me. she sent me massages how angry she were but she still love him.

I admit my emotions lead me to decide to broke up with him. I love him but I can’t tell if he really meant what he said that he had changed and that he only wants me. And I must say also that he cheated on me a couple of times but my love for him is bigger than his mistakes. I am so confused. Please enlighten me.

admin

April 18, 2014 at 3:46 pm

I think you have a right to be upset….

Jane

April 15, 2014 at 9:30 am

Hey! I really never thought that I would do something like this but I’m at a dark point and I think a mans advice would be perfect at this moment. Me and my ex met in Spain because we both were studying there. He’s originally from NZ and it all began with just having sex. So in the beginning he avoided getting emotionally attached because he said he has made this experience before and it would be hard for us if we decided to go seperate ways after our graduation. But we couldn’t do it and became a couple. After a beautiful relationship we had we both were finished and had to leave and I was too proud to tell him that I wanted him to make his internship in Europe so we could still be together. He asked me several times and then took a job in Australia. So when we both left I kind of acted like I was strong enough to not care much and move on with my life. He asked me if I could visit him there and all I said was “we’ll see!”. Going back home I used some guy as a rebound so I didn’t have to go through this pain and I think somebody told my ex and he stopped texting me and started being cold. After 3 month he started texting me again (before that we had contact maybe once in a month) and we talked and he said he would be in europe for some days with friends and if we could meet. But he also told me that he has a new girlfriend! We did meet with some friends from spain and he tried to gain my attention and touched me, gave me his jacket when I was freezing. When we went sleeping he texted me but I was so done that I dropped dead and didn’t read it until next morning. When we left I started crying but I still didn’t tell him what I still feel for him. My question is now: should I forget him because he has a girlfriend? Is she also just a rebound? Should I tell him that I would love to stay in contact and if it works out I could come to Australia for a month or so? He also drunk dialed me sometimes but now he stopped…did I miss my chance? We had such a great time I just wish I wasn’t so afraid of getting hurt…maybe you can help me and sorry for my bad english because I am not a native speaker…
Eva

April 15, 2014 at 5:21 am

My ex and I broke up 2 months ago. We hooked up again a month ago and I ended up getting pregnant. We had a really nasty break up so I didn’t plan on telling him about the pregnancy because I didn’t want to keep the baby anyway. Somehow he found out about it and he contacted me. We ended up becoming friends and we have been really amicable with each other and he has been very supportive throughout the abortion process. We hooked up again a couple of days ago and we both agreed it was a bad idea. Now he is telling me that it’s not good for him to see me because there is too much sexual attraction between us. I don’t know what to do to get him to ask me out again. I feel trapped because I know he still loves me but he doesn’t want to go back to where we were. I really still love him and I want him back desperately but I don’t know how to do it without pushing him away. Should I be patient and wait for him to make the move or should I take matters into my own hands and ask him if he wants to give it another shot? He told me he misses me a lot but he doesn’t miss the drama. I’m at a loss as to how to keep our contact going without being too obvious about wanting him back. What should I do?
Brittany

April 15, 2014 at 12:08 am

My ex just broke up with me last tuesday and he said that its because he is unhappy. We also have a baby on the way. I know he has been stressed lately because he isnt getting good hours at work and He wants to go out and drink and everything and last weekend i was just telling him how i felt and how we need to save up for the baby and him not blowing the money on booze. Then a few days later he texts me and tells me that he hasn’t been happy for a while. We have also dated for two years. I just want to know if you think he will end up coming back to me or No. or if i should just move on. I really need an honest opinion. And im so heart broken but i try not to stress with the baby.

admin

April 15, 2014 at 4:15 pm

Have you read my guide on getting an ex back with a child?

Amber

April 12, 2014 at 8:47 am

I kind of have a strange story and was looking for some advice…

I was with my ex for over 3 years. Towards the end of our relationship we had a lot of stress put on it because his friend had moved in with us (which was supposed to be for a week that lasted months) and two of his childhood neighbors, who he had grew up with and was close friends to their son, really disliked me because they wanted him to be with their niece who was always crazy about him. We finally broke up over a petty argument that was really no big deal and texted a few times immediately afterwards but that was all. I moved on and got with someone else and he of course gets with their niece, whom he always disliked? About three months later he tells his friend to let me know he misses me and wants to get back together. I didn’t contact him because I was with someone else to and was unsure of what I wanted. Two weeks later he finds out that him and that girl are having a baby. Two weeks from that I find out I am pregnant with the guy I was dating! I hear nothing much from him after that and he goes on to marry this girl and they have their baby. I split from my boyfriend at the time and found out during my pregnancy that my baby has a rare disorder and my child passed away three days after I have him, which is of course devastating. Him and his new wife have separated multiple times since their marriage and he is a manager at a store. He gives all my family discounts and repetitively ask about me. It has been close to two years since this has happened and he tells my friend he is miserable with his wife and I am the only girl he ever loved. He tells her how he doesn’t really even know why we broke up and if it wasn’t for his baby he would already be divorced. He tells her he regrets marrying his wife and is going to get divorced anyways and expresses to her how sorry he feels about my baby passing away. She says he talks about me all the time and I am unsure how to take this? Since she has been telling me about this I can’t help but miss him and feel like contacting him. But at the same time I feel chronically against it because he is married, not that his wife cared to try and hook up with him multiple times while we were together, but their is a baby involved.

Am I horrible for wanting to contact him? Should I just blow all of this off? Is he doing this because him and his wife aren’t getting along or is he sincere about what he is saying? I am so confused about how to take this and what to do!
unknown

April 10, 2014 at 5:20 pm

my bf and i broke up exactly 2 months today ..april 11… he keeps on texting and calling me…we talk on the phone a while ago..we chat for about an hour…..
we also go out sometimes…..i dont know if he still loves me..he says that he misses me….i dnt want to expect….he wanted to see me again…he is a gentleman.we nver had s*x..and he never insists..and i like that attitude..coz he’s respecting me….

admin

April 11, 2014 at 4:10 am

So, what do you want from me? Are you asking me if he still has feelings for you?
unknown

April 11, 2014 at 4:29 am

do u think he still loves me? he also keeps on checking if im reviewing well…im going to take the the nursing liscensure exam on may… he keeps on calling almost everyday…..

Tasha

April 9, 2014 at 4:14 am

My ex broke up with me shortly after Valentines Day. I begged & pleaded for him to come back. No Avail.. We started talking again as “Friends With Benefits” which totally weirded me out because I love him & we were back peddling by just sleeping with each other when we were in love for 2 years prior. Nonetheless, I ended the friends with benefits relationship a week ago And now get “I love you” and “kisses” text messages… I wonder if this means he’s warming up to me again to try and make it work. Or is he just fully vested in the sex? #Help

admin

April 10, 2014 at 1:56 am

I want to say he is just trying to get FWB back on track but I could be wrong. It may be worth playing out just to see what he does. To see if he will man up and stop using you.
Karen

April 11, 2014 at 7:19 pm

I’m in the exact same situation and have been FWB with my ex-boyfriend for 4 1/2 months now. We were together for over 3 years (lived together for 2 1/2 years) and I’m still in love with him. The difference is that a week after we broke up last May, he had a new girlfriend within a week and he still has that same girlfriend and claims that he’s madly in love with her. So even though he is showing signs, does he want to get back with me or is he just using me? And why would I want him back anyway?

tyra

April 3, 2014 at 2:13 pm

Hi
me and by bf broke up on valentines day so around a month and a few weeks. We wanted to still be friends and i said that wasnt agd idea. Hwever wen he txt me and stuff i didnt want tk be rude so i replied with small talk. I then found out about the Nc rule and implememted that. This lasted a week. Durig that time he contacyed me and i didnt respond and so forth. Then some ppl told me about a status he out on facebook implying that he was speaking to someone else and someone commented on it saying slow down and he responded wih i dnt care im living life on the edge from now on. I was so hurt by this and rang him screamin at him (i know i shoyldnt have done this). Some time passed and i was in the hate stage so it was easier for me to stay away. Then one day i leave my flat and his car is parked outside but no one is in it. The car was ther for a day and a bit and i finally rang and asked y it was ther because he has no need to be at this part of the city unless its for me. He sed he was meeting hus friends and needed to prk his car somewer. Out of all the places in the world he parked his car here. It was so good to hear his voice and i broke down askin him if he missed me, he sed yes and i asked if he ever thought of us gttin bak together and he was like the convo should end now. I know i was wrong for this. I had bloked and deleted him on everything and then i stumbled apon a job i thought hed be kntrested in so i unbloked him to ahow him and now we speak now and again. Is ther any chance of there being an us. I am his first proper girlfriend and we were together for a year and a half. He has still got all the pictures if us together ob his instagram and facebook so its hard to think that he is serious with anyone vecause im aure no female would want another womans pictures everywere.

admin

April 4, 2014 at 5:05 pm

You are his first girlfriend so that means he is a bit unexperienced in relationships correct?
tyra

April 5, 2014 at 10:42 am

Yes i am his first gf. I did everything for this boy. Tbh i know im awsome, i cook clean im about to graduate with my first degree in a life science domain, i drive, i work, i live alone and i am only 20. Whats more is i am attractive. I know he will never get a girl prettier than me nor someone who loved him as much as i loved him. I didnt require nothing from him but love and attention unlike some women who would just try and bleed his pockets dry and nowadays women dnt have domestic principles and values. Last night while i was out a group of guys harrassed me touching my bum and screamin im so sexy this and that and i have never been so violated in my life, i was terrified and the person i went to for comfort was my ex. Ended up txtin him telling him wat had happened and sayin that i wish he was still here so he could protect me and i could go home to someone and get cuddles but nw i have no one. I know this waa a wrong move but hey i did it. And he didnt reply.

Ericka

April 2, 2014 at 1:07 pm

Hi,

My name is Ericka. I’m 22 years old and I will be turning 23 in July. I really need some advice on my situation, its very complicated, and its pretty long so please bare with me.

I have been with this man for two years. Him and were engaged to one another and it was pretty much love at first site. Everything happened so naturally and our conversations flow so naturally. We were very much in love with one another. We are pretty much soul mates. He’s perfect for me and I’m perfect for him. Ever since we were in high school together he’s always dreamed about being with me. He used to fantasize about me in high school but never had the guts to come and talk to me because he thought he wasn’t my type and I would reject him. He’s everything I look for in a man and I’m everything he looks for in a woman. We have very good chemistry and there’s sparks between us, our love is very deep and we both can feel our souls intertwining with one another every time we are together. Now here’s where everything gets complicated …

When him and I were engaged I was having a lot of family problems at home with my mother in particular. She has a control issue over me and just couldnt seem to let me live my life unless I did what she told me to do. I collect SSI and I believe one of the main reasons she wanted to control me was because she wanted my SSI check. Ever since this man and I have been together she has interfered in our relationship tremendously, accusing him of things that weren’t true, making up lies about him, and making him out to be some bad guy that he wasn’t claiming he was going to hurt me. That really pushed him away from me and after a while he had enough of it.

Around September of 2012, I went up to a trade school to learn some independent living skills, and perhaps learn a trade so I could get a good job. However October 2, 2012 I had to leave school because my fiancee got hit by a car and almost died luckily he survived it and had some injuries to his leg. So the staff members kicked me out of the trade school because I couldn’t miss no more than 5% of class and I went to go be by his side at the hospital.

Well before I left to go to the trade school him and I had a conversation about what we wanted in this future in regards of marriage and children. I wanted a wedding and kids and I was ready to be in a serious relationship with someone that I knew I was going to marry because I been hurt many times before. He told me he didn’t know if he wanted marriage or children because he could never see himself doing that in his life. That really hurt me and made me distance myself from him because I thought we wasn’t on the same page and he didn’t want the same things I wanted.

Anywho, while I was at the trade school, I called him and asked him for a break because I needed to think about things focus on school plus I was hurt he didn’t want what I wanted because I really liked him at the time. Well while I was at school he was coming over to my house all the time trying to get to know my family and stuff but no one really acted like they wanted to get to know him. He told my family he wanted to marry me and propose to me so he basically changed his mind about what he wanted in life because he loves me. So he showed my mom a picture of the ring and my mom started telling him things like he shouldn’t be with me because I have knee problems and a disability and I will never be able to do anything in my life like get married or have children which made him question a lot of things. She also told him that I said I wasn’t in love with him and then my cousin started asking him if he was sure he wanted to marry me like I wouldn’t be a good wife to him which also confused him.

After a few weeks of being at the trade school I started dating another guy for like a week it didn’t last because of the fact I still had deep feelings for the man I had at home, and the other guy knew about him .. the only reason why we dated was because I felt bad for him because he was struggling with family problems like I was but his mom passed away when he was twelve so I was just someone he trusted to talk to pretty much like a comfort blanket. Everyone at the trade school knew of the man I had at home and how deep my feelings were for him but he used to get mad at me a lot because we couldn’t talk much because I was either in class or I wouldn’t have any phone service from being up in the mountains. So he started to believe everything my mother said to him about he shouldn’t be with me and I don’t love him.

After I left the trade school to go to the hospital to be with the love of my life everything was okay .. of course he was depressed and had anxiety because he got hit by a car and he’s never been injured before, he always had the perfect body and he’s big on staying fit and healthy. I stayed at the hospital with him for that whole entire week he was there and I helped him with everything in regards of teaching him how to walk with his crutches and his walker and I was there to calm him down when he had anxiety attacks and feed him and everything else. After he got out the hospital I went to go stay over at his house for a few days to help him and cater to his needs and help his mother out.

He ended up losing his job because his leg wasn’t healed in time for him to go back to work, so he was stuck without a job for a while. He was pretty upset about not having a job or any money in his pocket after a while so he can pay off some of his bills. Well he kept applying for unemployment and the first few times he was denied then the last time he got approved for it.

After his leg healed up he ended up moving away from me to Georgia because he couldn’t find a job where I lived at no one was hiring let alone he was having a lot of family drama up here and him his mother and his brother needed to get away from all the negativity that their family was causing. Everything was going okay for him in Georgia then his grandfather’s wife started giving them problems and complaining about how she wanted them out of her house and everything else. He ended up getting a job in Georgia doing demolitian making pretty decent money but he only worked there for about a month until he had to quit because they ended up moving again from Georgia and went to Las Vegas.

He has a cousin in Las Vegas that gaurenteed him a job working security at one of the hotels there because his cousin is a really big executive there. Everything was going smoothly when he first moved there. We were making plans for me to come to Las Vegas and he wanted to re- purpose to me there and I was going to have a gaurenteed job when I got out there. Well then BOOM! Everything pretty much instantly came crashing down. My mother just kept constantly saying all kinds of things about him like he was going to make me his slave and everything he did she had a problem with she would always contradict herself .. first she had a problem with me going to Vegas then all of a sudden she wanted me to go to Vegas. It was always back and forth with her like everything we did was wrong which caused a lot of stress in our relationship. My mother was basically causing him and I to argue all the time by starting stuff which him and I barely ever argued .. he treated me like a queen and I treated him like a king. My mother always used to get mad because he’s a mama’s boy which I have no problem with that .. I’m glad he treats his mother amazing because that tells me he would treat me just as amazing as well. Anywho my mom causing so much problems pretty much made him want to distance himself from me and the situation because my mother was taking things way too far and she was threatening him and everything to get him fired from his job in Vegas.

From him distancing himself from me, he ended up talking to another Russian girl that he met at his job which hurt me to the core however its hard for me to be mad at him because I dated someone else when I was at the trade school. He talked to this girl about a month and said he liked her personality. However he wasn’t sure about her because he still cares about me and his heart is still with me. I think the only reason he was talking to her was because she was an escape from all of the drama that was going on between him and my mother. Apparently he’s not speaking to that girl anymore he deleted her number because he says he doesn’t want to be with anyone anymore he rather just be single for the rest of his life so he don’t have to deal with anymore drama.

Well he has said to me that he wants to be with me, he wants to rebuild what we have and get our relationship back to normal he’s just scared to do so because of everything my mother did. He’s scared to love me again. However last week I moved out of my mother’s house so I can fix things with him and get my life straight. I told him now that I’m not living with my mother anymore we can be together and work everything out between us without having to worry about my mother anymore since I’m not living with her. She even said herself that now I’m not living with her she has no control over me no more and if I want to be with him I can but she’s not going to speak to me or him or even apologize for the things she has done. She is too set in her ways basically she was making me choose between her or him and I chose him.

Well now for the past week even though I’m not living with my mother anymore he’s still keeping a distance from me because he’s scared to be in a relationship with me and he’s scared to love me again. Let alone he’s having problems with his job in Las Vegas he can’t stand working there everyone always calling him names, people are getting fired left and right and they won’t give him any raises he can’t quit because he has to work there for a year first. His mom is sick with uterine cancer and she’s losing a lot of blood she has to have surgery done, and he has to take care of his brother make sure his brother gets to school and does his homework let alone he has to make sure theirs food in his house his bills are paid off and he hold down his job. He’s trying to get his mother in a better apartment since she’s sick, and he wants to try to find a better job. He has a lot going on in his life right now. I told him to bring me to Las Vegas and I will help him out with everything so he doesn’t have to do it alone but he won’t bring me out there because he scared he has his gaurd up from what happened with my mother and he will feel guilty because my mom said he was going to make me his slave.

I’m not really sure what to do and how I can help him with this especially being long distance. He pretty much lost all of his confidence, his faith in God, and he feels like he’s not going to live much longer in this world. Everything that happened made him very depressed which is understandable because if I was him I would be depressed too. I been debating on whether or not I should just let him go or stand by his side. I feel like if I let him go he’s going to be more depressed and he’s going to end up going down the wrong path when he’s not that kind of person at all. Then again I feel like if I stay I question if he’s going to play me again, which I’m not sure if he would because there’s so much going on at the moment.

Lately however for the past few days he’s been talking to me more and opening up to me more, and he’s been telling me that he loves me and calling me baby, babe, sweetie etc .. so I don’t know if he’s giving me signs that he wants to be with me again. I honestly think deep down in his heart he really honestly loves me he’s just afraid and very depressed and stressed out about everything. I’m not sure what I should do I been telling him everyday that I’m here for him and I love him very much and I’m keeping him and his mother in my prayers. With him opening up to me a little more even though things are going very slowly is there any possibility we get back together after all the things that happened to us?

One thing that irritates me the most is that my mother always talked crap about him but her boyfriend isn’t any better and treats her like crap all the time .. so it seemed to be more like she was envious or jealous of him and I because she knew we were happy and he treated me like a princess plus she knew she would lose control over me.

I need some really good advice about this situation. I’m confused about everything. I’m not sure what I could do to help him feel better or not feel as depressed and feel like he can trust me when it comes to his heart. I’m contemplating on if I should send him a heart felt card and maybe a small thing of flowers to show him I care about him and I’m here for him through everything or would that be to desperate of me to do? I’m also not sure on if he wants to get back together with me? He seems like he does by what he’s been telling me lately but once again he acts scared and has his wall built up? What can I do to knock down that wall. Give him his space or show him how much I care about him? Please help its urgent .. and he’s really starting to believe he isn’t going to be living much longer like the devil is taking over his life. ='(

admin

April 2, 2014 at 5:50 pm

I think you hit the nail on the head. Depressed and stressed about things but truly has deep feelings fo ryou.
Ericka

April 3, 2014 at 12:43 am

So would there be a chance we get back together even though he’s depressed and stressed out?

elle

April 1, 2014 at 11:11 pm

So my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me two weeks ago. I am extremely confused as to why we broke up in the first place. Everything was perfect we got along well. About a week after the break up, he finally got on the phone with me and said he needed to be alone to focus on medical school and didn’t want to resent me for doing poorly on his boards he’s taking in June. He said that I was too much of a distraction for him even though I was always fine with spending time at home with him. I have tried to move on, but I still care and want him back. He still replies to my texts, but never responds to me like he did when we were together. I once went a few days of no contact with him and he called and texted me and then decided to be really sweet and call me pet names (ie. baby face). I’m so confused and really need some type of advice. I have no idea what I should do to win him back. Please help!

admin

April 2, 2014 at 5:37 pm

I think you solved your own problem. You tried NC before and it worked out pretty well didn’t it?

Anon

March 31, 2014 at 12:19 pm

Hi, my partner broke up with me almost 2 months ago now. We were together for 8 years and have been through so so much. I moved states at the age of 15 just so we could be together! A year ago he gave me an infinity ring and promised that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me but wasnt ready to get engaged as he felt that we werent set up in our life enough yet to do so. 4 days before he broke up with me he was asking me to stay home from work so we could cuddle in bed all day. 3 days before he broke up with me he was telling me how much he loved me and enjoyed spending time with me and much preferred it over sitting at home. We had an amazing day and a romantic dinner then he had to work night shift. That night I packed his bag for a work trip he had the next day, he told me I was beautiful for helping him like that, which is literally the nicest thing he has said to me without encouragement. I was on cloud 9 thinking everything was going well! I dropped him at his work place the morning after and everything was fine. When he came home the next day we went couch shopping and he cuddled me in bed and told me he loved me and then went out to “get his wallet from work”. An hour passed and he didnt return. I messaged him and asked where he was he said he was stuck talking to a colleague. He then went to his mums house, wrote a letter to break up with me, came home and asked to speak with me and gave me the letter. His reason for breaking up with me was that he didnt think our personalities were well enough suited to spend the rest of our lives together.

The only extra information I’ve gotten on this is that he doesnt like the way that we fight, as I would always push and push and push to resolve it right away and when he would walk away to calm down I would get personal and say he didnt care or love me.

I have identified the problems that I have caused between us, such as the above being stubborn and exaggerating little things and have reached out to a psychologist to help me with these issues. (He also knows I’ve done this).

At first he was messaging my friend to see if I was ok, and broke down on the phone to me and said that speaking to me was confusing him more and that he’d had messed up feelings and that he felt he had done nothing with his life. Unfortunately instead of not being crazy, I was crazy and just kept crying and asking him why and silly questions. We didnt talk for a week or so after that, then he started trying to make conversation with me, asking me about new clothes etc like he usually would. I fed into it and gave him what he wanted. But I was still hurting so much that when I spoke to his mum I told her how confused and sad he was making me, and I think she may have said something to him. Then we didnt speak for awhile longer and then started speaking again as we were still renting a house together and had not split up all our stuff. He has told me and my best friend that he is fine and has moved on and wants me to stop hurting and wishes there was a way to make that happen, but then asked me to go see our realtor together and to clean the house together before our lease was up also. When we would speak on the phone it was initially about house related stuff then we would end up having a 20 minute long conversation about life events also.

He messaged me at 12am a few nights ago asking if I was awake and the next day I found out he was up until 3:30am playing basketball by himself!

I have NO idea what to think or what to do! Our break up wasnt “sour” or “ugly” and he wants to remain “friends” because he feels I am his “best friend”, this is obviously not what I want though (long term anyway).

He is so confusing and I have no idea what to do!
Please help!

Shaine de guzman

April 5, 2014 at 2:05 pm

Same thing that happened to me, but yoo of course u need a time for ur self too… U need to fix and stop worrying for awhile,, i know it’s hard, but u’re hurting urself more if u continue to fight to win the relationship back… Like seriously if he really wanted you in his life he never have done that to you.. But it happened, he hurt ur feelings by him breaking up with you and not being man enough to say it to you face to face… I would suggest to start a new life, make him think u’re okay… Dont make him think that u still want him u’re still chasing him cuz that’s what makes them to walked away more from you,, just move on, even when u cant, just show him u did move on and yeah find for someone or wait for someone new that would take his place,, there’s always a guy that is better than him 🙂 …. And when the time you started ur new life ur ex would STILL checked u up, and he will of course jealous, but then dont make any move, make sure he makes the move first and if u’re already in relationship with the new guy then DONT BREAK UP WITH HIM JUST FOR YOUR EX.. Cuz remember how you felt the day when ur ex broke up with u…
Anon

April 6, 2014 at 6:05 pm

Did you get your ex back?
Anon

April 2, 2014 at 8:38 pm

How come everyone but me gets a reply 🙁
admin

April 3, 2014 at 5:40 pm

You get a reply!!!!
Anon

April 5, 2014 at 9:14 pm

Can I please get some advice? 🙁

I found out he kissed another girl and thinks he may like her but says he doesn’t really know her. He’s also said that he felt he did everything he could to save our relationship but gave up as he felt there was no hope in fixing our issues.

Caitlin

March 31, 2014 at 3:33 am

So my boyfriend and I started dating May 10, 2013. We were together for 7 1/2 months and were completely happy. We were in love. We were together 24/7 and always laughing. I went with them on their family vacation and everything. Then two days before christmas he decided to break up with me. He said he loved me but we needed some space. We talked everyday for that next week and then I just cut him out completely for a month and a half. On new years he took another girl home, one he had had a relationship with before, but never dated. Then around the middle of January, he told me he missed me and wanted to come back into my life. He said that not a day went by that he didn’t think about me. My mom and friends refused to let it happen at first because he hurt me before, but eventually they all came around and we started talking and hanging out again. We were completely happy when we were together, it was like nothing had changed. The all of a sudden we fought for a few days straight. But it was about something stupid, like not being together enough. So we both decided to just be friends and work on our “friendship” but I couldn’t do it and I told him I either wanted him in my life as a boyfriend or not at all. We just stopped talking to each other about a week ago. Before we stopped talking, I went over to his house to talk. I cried for a little bit and we talked about everything that went wrong. Then I moved over to the same couch he was on and we were just talking and listening to music, having a normal time. Then, he kissed me and told me not to leave when i said I had to leave. I started crying and saying how much this sucks and so he kissed me again. He told me I’d always be his baby and that he loved me. I don’t understand why he doesn’t want to be with me, if he “loves” me. He said that one day he can possibly see a future with me and that if we find each other one day that it’ll work and be perfect. We’re seniors in high school and only have a couple months left. He also said that if he had to see me with other guys, make sure they’re good and I’m not settling. But then I found out he was hanging out with his ex, whom he never dated, but he told me he wasn’t planning on being anything with her again. What am I supposed to think of all this?

admin

March 31, 2014 at 4:20 pm

How can he be her ex if they never dated?

bern

March 30, 2014 at 8:24 pm

hi my name is Bern. how can i win back my ex with new other woman involve. i really need your good and best advice right now.

thanks

admin

March 31, 2014 at 3:57 pm

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back-if-he-has-a-girlfriend-version-2-0/

Dee

March 27, 2014 at 5:27 am

Hello,

I have a troubling situation on my hands, I have been broken up with my bf for almost 2 years, what happened was his family stole a good deal of money from me and they are in turn blaming me for their family’s problems and refuse him to talk to me. He still wants to be friends but his family makes it really hard for him. I know him very well, he is very insecure about himself and seems to always avoid talking about what happened with us. He broke up with me 7 months and soon after started talking to his exes again, claiming he had no feelings for them but he would share his texts with me when i asked politely, saying he had nothing to hide. But the messages themselves said something completely different in my eyes. And he claimed that these girls were always like that.

Because of the family stealing issue I moved back to my old town, after moving in with him. And he’s always using “I’m just extremely busy. And I’ll talk to you later,” but then he becomes distant again. I don’t know if the NC Rule will even work in this situation..

I have had several boyfriends before him. But they all treated me Extremely badly, and when he asked me out, He was the best thing that had ever happened to me. He brought me out of my shell, helped me to recover a lot from my PTSD and i hardly jump at anything anymore. He got it so I loved Thunderstorms instead of fear them. He has done so much for me and now I fear that because of the family situation, he won’t ever get the chance to be with me again. Sometimes he won’t talk to me for 2-4 weeks at a time, and then out of the blue he’ll contact me with just “hi.” What should i do?

admin

March 27, 2014 at 11:59 pm

What was the main reason behind the breakup do you think?

Caia

March 25, 2014 at 1:24 pm

Hi!
My exboyfriend broke up with me and i applied the no contact rule for 30 days. During the no contact rule .. he texted me once to check if im doing okay ,, i responded and never spoke to him again. Yesterday was his birthday so i wished him today formally and nicely. He cared enough to notice that i dint wish him on his birthday but during this conversation.. he sounded a lil angry or you can say rude to me cause i replied late. He said ‘i woudlnt even care if you dint wish me’ Idk what to do or expect. Help!

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