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Post categories
Annon
December 19, 2013 at 6:24 pm
If my ex still shows that he cares for me when we are together, and he still keeps in contact, then why does he not want to be together?? is it me? or do guys just enjoy being alone? he says he is selfish and sometimes just enjoys being alone. why keep in contact with me then? am i being the girl that is letting him have his cake and eat it too? i love him, i know he loves me too. I dont know if i shuld give up
Suana
December 19, 2013 at 3:12 pm
my baby daddy dumped me 12days ago, and the next day after the break up he called me and talked like nothing has happened I then told him that I think we should not talk for a while as I needed to get over him before we can even be friends unless it involves the baby(one month old by da way), he said okay and I was hoping he would instead beg me to forgive him and work things out.
he has not called nor sms me since except when he is checking on his daughter. HELP I still love him and I want him back but I want him to make the 1st move coz he is the one that left me. or should I move on
PS: I found out that he has been cheating on me a while back and I was willing to forgive him but I gas he had other plans
admin
December 19, 2013 at 7:50 pm
May I ask your reasoning for wanting him back?
Rachel Monroe
December 19, 2013 at 1:51 am
IDK what to do ok my boyfriend well ex now he told me something that really made me mad and i broke up with him this is the second time we broke up the first time he broke uo with me bacause everyone was gettin in our relashonship and then he asked me out again a few weeks later and so the second time we got back together we were going together for five days untill he called me and said he had done something very bad and i said what and he said that there was this girl he was still going out with that he happend to forget anout and he admitted to havin feelings for another girl really I still love him aliitle i dont know what to do please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
admin
December 19, 2013 at 7:20 pm
Well have you implemented NC yet?
Kayleigh
December 18, 2013 at 11:50 pm
Hi Chris, I’m an avid reader of all your posts and have previously messaged you but want to let you know where I am now and ask you for further advice please!
Basically, my ex boyfriend ended things with me on 18th October, I found your website and immediately started following your advice. I did the 30 day no contact period and didn’t hear a thing from him nor did I message him – hardest thing in the world! I dated other guys and made an attempt to ‘improve myself’ which I feel I have done. I sent the first message after 30 days and got a response straight away to my positive memory text, we messaged a few times and then he said “I’m pleased to hear you’re okay and doing well. I’m going to go now. Take care xx” I thought I’d lost him at this point. However, on the weekend of that same week he messaged me asking why I’d messaged him. I explained I wanted to see how he was and even to see if he would reply. He said since that night of messaging him, he couldn’t stop thinking about me! We messaged all day catching up and by the evening (and I’m sorry I slipped up here and got lost in the moment!) we ended up in a hotel room and spent the night together. After this he messaged me everyday. He told me in the time we weren’t talking he had thought about, and discussed, getting back with his ex wife. He said he didn’t want her now as his feelings for me were growing strong again. He messaged her explaining that things wouldn’t work between them and that it is over. So I was starting to think I had a real chance here!
After a another meet up – just a Christmas shopping trip this time! We were growing really close, had lots of contact, held hands, kissed etc. then went a while where I didn’t see him and he messaged me saying “please wait for me, I will make the right choice” implying he was going to get back with me. Everything seemed to be going okay.
Then this week happened. He still continued to message me (he always starts the conversations) however he seemed short with me, not as complimentary, closed and different. He asked me to go on a date with him last night and I agreed as he said he wanted to talk to me about his feelings. Then last night we had a great time together but he told me that he can’t commit to me at the moment. He’s not fully over his ex. He loves me but not in the same way I love him but he does love me and care for me and enjoys seeing me and being in my company. He said all the things that suggested he wants me but said at the moment he’s not sure what he wants out of his life and that he’s not sure how long it will take him to get his head in the right place for a relationship and he’s worried that dating me could potentially not lead to anything.
I’m really confused and unsure of my next moves now. He said about he would still like to see me and chat to me but he’s not sure if I would want that as he’s aware he’s messed me around a lot.
Thing is, I still love him deeply and I do want him back. I’m prepared to play the long game and date and take things slow with him and he knows this. We are supposed to be meeting near to Christmas to exchange gifts but again, I’m not sure how to behave/act around him?
How do I win him back?
Please help!
Thanks for you time!
Kayleigh
Kayleigh
December 21, 2013 at 11:27 am
I’m meeting him tonight and from the way he’s been acting towards me this week I have a very strong feeling he’s going to tell me he’s not ready for a relationship and to move on. He’s been dropping hints all week. He’s said things like he loves me but it’s not on the same level as how I feel for him and sometimes he doesn’t always want to talk to me even though he’s the one who always messages me first?! Also he’s admitted he’s not over his ex and is finding it hard adapting after being in a 10 year relationship with her as he feels guilty sometimes when he sees me or worries constantly that if she knew we were sort of seeing each other again that she would react badly and stop him seeing his kids. He’s always worrying about what other people think and not focusing on himself and how he feels. I know he’s confused but no also feel like it isn’t over between us. Help! How do I prevent him ending things with me? Again! Thanks xx
admin
December 22, 2013 at 2:25 am
Have you read my dating guide?
Kayleigh
December 22, 2013 at 3:38 pm
I have and have been trying some of your ideas such as the push pull theory and the subtle touches and have managed a lot of physical contact with him and things but he’s told me he’s not ready for a relationship and feels its unfair on me getting me to wait around for him as he doesn’t know when hes going to be ready to commit to me. He says he loves me but not as much as he previously did. I’m at a loss of what to do now. Any suggestions? Thank you!
admin
December 19, 2013 at 7:13 pm
Just be as classy as you possibly can!
Jessica
December 18, 2013 at 7:35 am
Hi Chris. Before my boyfriend and i officially dated we were pretty much best friends for about 2 years. We were really close and well, of course our friendship was always more than a friendship. We finally started officially dating and that unfortunately only lasted about 8 months. He broke up with me 2 almost 3 months ago. It was a good break up, he was very honest and i couldnt help but to be even more heartbroken at the fact that he was genuinely telling me how he didnt want to hurt me by being in the relationship and me having to make all the effort pretty much. Of course he did pull the “its not you its me” card and said he eventually wanted to remain close. Our situation is very difficult because we had such a good friendship before that breaking up is like losing your best friend also. When we first broke up i tried NC. then we started texting casually again within the 2nd month. He now makes initiative to text me first 3/5 of the time. There is still a connection between us i can feel it which is why i dont want to just give this up. We also have met up and had dinner. A few weeks ago i decided to just go with it and ask him to hang out. He said no, and pretty much that he didnt want to send mixed signals. I understand where he is coming from that and i respect his honesty. yes, it hurt my feelings so i tried just to get over the fact that we arent ever gonna hang out for awhile. however just a few days ago he texted me and asked to come over and have dinner and i ended up staying the night. Im not sure how to think of this. When we are together its never weird and awkward. I dont know what exactly he is thinking now. Is it too soon for me to bring up the question of if he thinks we will get back together? or should i just keep letting this drag on and not even bring anything up? I know they say let time heal all, and its only been almost 3 months since the break up, is it too soon to ask what he thinks?
admin
December 18, 2013 at 6:44 pm
It is too soon. YOu have to sort of build up to that.
Jessica
December 18, 2013 at 7:14 pm
Is it too much for me to continue texting him? I mean, he replies back everytime. However its him that usually stops texting after the conversation. I dont bombard his phone when he does this knowing that that could be seriously annoying. Usually he will text me first the next day or day after. I know they say time heals all, but too much time isnt always a good thing also? I want to show interest in him, but i also dont want to be annoying. How do i come about this
admin
December 19, 2013 at 7:05 pm
I would say do whatever you feel comfortable with but I wouldn’t if I was you.
Lost
December 18, 2013 at 3:31 am
Didn’t realize it was that long… apologies but I really need some help 🙁
Lost
December 18, 2013 at 3:26 am
Ok, I’m at the end of my rope here. I was never the type of girl to date someone just to date. If there wasn’t a spark I wasn’t interested. Last year I took a page from a coworkers book and made an online dating profile. I started talking to this one guy who was totally my type. Well long story short he became flakey and this other guy i was talking to kept asking for my number and pursuing me. I don’t know about everyone else but one of the most attractive features in a guy is persistence, so I agreed to give him my number. Our first date was a joke. I didn’t worry too much about it, he wasn’t my first choice so if it didn’t work out no big deal. He didn’t have a functional car so I drove and picked him up. We got to the place we were eating and he had forgotten his wallet, I shrugged it off and told him i would take care of it. Dinner was fun we got along great, he was more attractive than I anticipated and I was drawn to his eyes like a fly to a light. After dinner we drove to a quiet spot and talked about comic books and movies and our love for Chuck Norris jokes. Then he started to tell me a bit more about himself. He had a very troubled life and was a former marine. I admit I questioned if I wanted to try to have another relationship for a former enlisted man because the former two were complete failures. But the strange thing was that I thought it wasn’t fair for me to judge him like that. I’m a strong girl and I could be there for him if it came to it. After our date he said he regretted not kissing me and asked if he was friend zoned. well you can imagine with the level of attraction between us, there was plenty of kissing and then some on our next few dates. I have NEVER been like that with any guy before. I was so comfortable with him and felt so drawn that I even lost my virginity to him. I want to be clear that I did not form this attachment AFTER I had sex with him. I held out on having sex with just anyone for almost 25 years. He very shyly asked me to be his girlfriend immediately after our first time together and i wound up spending the night. It was everything I ever wanted and could have asked for for my first time and I don’t regret it at all.
The relationship escalated quickly. He began sleeping over my house 3 or 4 nights a week, I would pick him up from a few towns away he would spend the night and i would drive him to the train station at 5am for work, he was comfortable with my family and I was comfortable with the people he lived with and we got along great. Our intimacy was better than I could have imagined and he was so careful with me since I wasn’t as experienced as he was. He would hold me me every night and once he even took my hand in his after sex and just held it tight for a while. It may not sound like much but, having never been shown affection like that before he may as well have been holding my heart in his hands.
Then things changed. After a month, he practically cut our sex down to once every two weeks and would give me an attitude when I wanted to do anything. He started feeling really sick and I would try to bring him food or meds or try to comfort him and he would ignore me. He found out he had Lymes and a BIG symptom is severe mood swings and irritability. He stopped caring about my needs or my wants, He became distant and cold. He asked me to go on birth control (he just wouldn’t use a condom) and then my mood swings became crazy because i was so emotional. When he would get upset or mad at me he would just ignore me for days. He refused to talk about his feelings and told me the only emotion I would probably see is anger. Even when I told him I cared about him he would throw it in my face that I had no idea what he had been through. I tried to tell him a few times that I loved him and he stopped the conversation because he didn’t want to talk about feelings. I still have not told him.
Why would you stop someone from telling you they love you?
Things continued to get worse. He would give me an attitude, ignore me and snap at me constantly. Unfortunately the more he pulled away the tighter I tried to hold on, I know now that was a big mistake. I had finally had enough when he cursed me off for no reason and then ignored me when I tried to apologize and console him when he wasn’t feeling well. I asked him to talk and he refused. So I bagged up all his things told him he needed to be nice and treat me better or it wasn’t going to work and dropped the stuff at his place when he wasn’t home so I didn’t have to see him. He showed no sign that he cared.
I tried talking to him and he blamed me saying I dumped him. Even after I told him I still cared about him and wanted to be with him more than anything, I just won’t be disrespected like that anymore. We didn’t see each other for a month but were still together? As a last resort I showed up at his house with food, I knew he didn’t have money at the time, told him I just wanted to see him and make sure he was ok. He called me a psycho and was unnecessarily nasty out of nowhere. I asked him why he was being like this and he had no answer. He just didn’t feel like seeing me at the time because he didn’t feel good and was working in the heat.
A few more weeks pass and finally he breaks up with me via text. Charming right? it was a nasty horrible breakup and he basically told me he was no longer attracted to me bc of my dramatic personality. He threw his past in my face again and flat out told me he cheated on me and that I was going to die in ten years from diabetes after failing as a writer and living in a box under a bridge. I have no idea who this person was but he is NOT the guy I fell inlove with. After two weeks I reached out and apologized for the hurtful things I had said in the breakup (I assure you nothing was as bad as what he said to me because the idea of hurting him made me sick to my stomach) He told me he had moved on. I still wanted him in my life and asked to stay friends. He would complain to me when he was sick but wouldn’t let me try to bring him things to take care of him (mind you the entire relationship I did all the driving anyway). He came to me first when his grandmother passed and then after I was there fir him he IGNORED me for a week again. He was almost as bad a friend as he was a boyfriend and finally after rubbing it in my face that he had a gf and compared encouraging me to begging did I finally just give up on him and cut contact.
A month goes by and he texts me two different times, once saying he was near my house. I ignored him both times. I started seeing this really sweet guy who treats me better than he ever did but the passion is not there. I’m still not fully whole from what my ex did to me and I admit I still love him. I tried just asking him about information when he worked on my computer and he wound up calling me and sending me a picture of himself and texting me the next night. He offered to give me equipment if I felt like making the drive. I didn’t tell him my new guy was coming over for a date, I just thanked him and politely declined. He became nasty and kept asking why I was coming to him for help. Now two days ago he texts me out of the blue and starts telling me about his life. He has gotten a car, moved about 40 min away, lives with new people and is happy with his life right now. I don’t know why he is telling me. But I can’t continue like this unless the words “I’m sorry” “I was wrong” or “I was an asshole” are in there somewhere. I still love him, despite everything, even though I KNOW I do not deserve what he put me through.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I have not felt whole since he came into my life, made a mess and then dropped me.
admin
December 18, 2013 at 6:37 pm
Well, the thing that sticks out to me is the “dramatic personality” bit. I think he is telling the truth there b/c I have seen this happen so many times.
The thing you need to ask yourself is if you really want him back or not.
Lost
December 19, 2013 at 6:09 am
The point I tried to make was he would be harsh or nasty and then call me dramatic when I would show it upset me. I’m no expert but thats kind of hypocritical isn’t it? Seen what happen?
Part of me does and part of me doesn’t think I could trust him if he ever did come back.
admin
December 19, 2013 at 7:35 pm
Then the question you have to ask yourself is: is he worth it?
Lost
December 22, 2013 at 4:19 am
I want to believe he is but like i said before, I feel like the person I fell in love with was all a lie. Am I reading too much into the little things we shared? I made a lot of excuses for him because I didn’t want to be wrong about him. I want to believe he cared(s) about me and did what he did because its all he knows. That I could accept. But if I’m wrong then he is just a manipulative asshole who played me and toys with my emotions for no reason. What sounds more likely?
Alisha
December 17, 2013 at 7:46 pm
My boyfriend and I were together for one and a half years. Everything was great really and we had a really mature relationship. We haven’t ever been with any other people before so everyone thought we would be one of those couples who could make it work first try. Most importantly we both truly believed it and we would work towards our future together. We both knew we had faults but we saw in it and talked to each other. Frankly, even after he broke up with me he said that I had made him a better person and I likewise.
He broke up with me about two months back and this was a period where he was experiencing family problems at home. That got him thinking and suddenly he broke up with me. He said he started seeing I wasn’t right for him and he stopped thinking things will work out. I asked him why but he said he’s not sure right now but he would rather end it now than be hurt later. He said he’s not happy about it at all but what’s keeping him sane is knowing it’s the right thing to do.
I of course disagree completely. Nothing has happened between us that would signal a bad ending. Sure we fight but not ugly. Just like every other couple. We would eventually make up and apologize in a matter of hours and simply move on.
I don’t think he will move on because for one thing he’s not good at it and I know how much he loves me. He hasn’t told anyone about us breaking up and he doesn’t like talking about it cos it’s obvious he’s really hurt about it
I can’t move on because deep down I know he’s the right choice for me but it won’t work if he doesn’t feel the same way.. I just want to convince him that it’ll all be okay and help him past what I think is an insecurity.
As for the no contact rule, I haven’t applied it yet. After we broke up we hang out and went on a few dates. Suddenly three days ago he stopped replying and calling or anything. I’m smart enough to get the hint so I’ve let it go but I can’t help feeling scared cos he’s not even trying or giving us a chance anymore.
I really need help because I know talking about the break up makes it worse because I went through that the first week where we had the same conversation over and over again and I couldn’t change his mind. I really need another method now and with him not talking to me I’m scared.. are my chances really low? What can I do to convince him and get back together with him?
admin
December 18, 2013 at 6:24 pm
Well, time might actually be a good thing…
Alisha
December 18, 2013 at 2:08 am
Oh and when he broke up with me he said there is no point in trying because he knows his opinion on the matter won’t change but if it does he will let me know
Valerie
December 17, 2013 at 1:22 am
Me and my ex have been broken up for a while and I really want to tell him how I feel about him. We started off friend and getting to know each other to the point where he asked me out. But being a girl at 15 I was immature and I broke it if the first time for some stupid god damn reason I regret till this day. Over that time he was still in love with me. You know we kept in contact and hung out he is a super sweet guy. By the time I was 17 I started to fall for him again. We Went to the mall just the two of us and I had to tell him how I felt and did his face lit up and we were going back out. We had are little arguments but then I would always apologize cause I didn’t want tonight. Till this one day I found out he was moving and he didn’t tell me. I was so upset that he couldn’t tell me at all. Few more days past and I haven’t talk to him so I ask what was wrong and he didn’t look the same he told me that it was over cause he “didn’t now how to love anyone”. That night I broke down so badly and that a was the same day my mother had to go get back surgery. I went to a dark place were I didn’t want to talk to anyone or go to school. You can say I was depressed for a while. Two months past he moved like 20 min away. I was determine to show him how much I would do for him. By my senior year I let a lot of guys down for him. We had a conversation one day about being together again but the distance. I told him I’m willing to drive down there to go see him. I’m 20 now and me and him always talk about funny stuff or sometimes flirt with each other. You know right now it feels good. To keep in contact in him but I don’t want to ruin anything right now. When I go see him I want everything to be smooth like having fun before we started to date. Then if something happens between us if we want to be in a committed relationship I’m all for it. Also that I grew to like him more he was the type that wanted to wait for the right moment to do sex and he always respected a me. I can see my future with this guy. You know getting married having kids living a happy life. Hopefully my wishes do come true. Every wish I make was me and him to get back together. Hopefully my wishes come true.
admin
December 17, 2013 at 6:51 pm
Well, have you attempted any type of NC yet?
Vivi
December 13, 2013 at 9:59 pm
Hii I have some questions because I’m just so confused about my ex. We dated for a year but we broke up because he wanted to focus on school and I wanted some space. We stopped talking for a month then he messaged me. We talked for a month and I thought he still liked me but when I asked him, he said we were just good friends. I accepted it but a week later he was really affectionate. Now it feels like a roller coaster of on and off. He still messages me every few days but does he like me still or should I just give up? He initiates the conversations. I don’t know what I should do. I still have feelings for him but I don’t know if he does. Any suggestions?
admin
December 14, 2013 at 9:59 pm
Hav eyou implemtnted NC yet?
Miss Alexis
December 13, 2013 at 7:55 am
I am so lost…I don’t even know where to begin…He hurt me and so I broke things up with him. Its not like I was unfair, we used to talk every single day. We talked abt everything under-the-sun, we laughed, we were honest and open with each other. We both know each others family really well, which is why after breaking-up with him I took my best friend’s advice abt doing the No Contact. What made our break up worse was that I wasn’t the only one hurting. He was my first bf ever to earn my complete trust and so I even introduced him to my immediate family. They all loved him, and what was more adoring my step-sister looked up to him and he ended up breaking her heart too. When I first met him I was totally NOT into him, but he totally had me at hello. (I know its corny) One of the most attractive things abt him is the way he cld always make me smile, honestly he was the ideal guy for me! All of a sudden he stops calling me, slowly stops talking to me, and then he tried picking up other girls and even after I caught him in the act he denied it and blamed his screwing up on his relationship with me on the loss of confidence in our relationship being “real”. We were together for 7 months and 11 days, but we were inseparable for 2 years. For my sanity and well-being I blocked him out of my life completely becuz he would lead me on and I couldn’t handle it. I hav no contact with him for abt 4 months and his twin brother calls me telling me that I need to talk to Him becuz I’m the only one he seemed to completely open up to. I did and we became friends and then I started seeing someone else, but the entire while I was spending time w/my boyfriend….all I cld think abt was how easy, relaxing, wonderfully passionate, & crazy funny it was when I was my ex. I set my pride aside and straight-out asked my ex if he liked talking to me…he said yes…I asked him if he feels any romantic feelings towards any other girls…he said no…so then I asked him if he wld promise to talk to me whenever he needed someone to talk to and I told him that I wld never pass up on an opportunity to be with him and that I won’t pressure him to be with me becuz I want him to trust that I won’t judge becuz I love every single flaw and unique trait that makes him, him. I simply ended the conversation “Soo…Friends?” Sometimes I seek him out and/or initiate contact w/him but it seems whenever I finally stop thinking abt him, he comes out of now where! sending sweet messages, and from my perspective and some of my trustworthy guy friends, my ex was totally sending me signals that he was thinking of me…I need help though I wld swear on my own life that he will be the only one for me and that no 1 will ever make me happy becuz he literally is my other half, a guy version of me….we used to complete each others sentences, we hav the same interests and likes, and to me the proof that he’s the one for me is becuz…when I think of him my heart flutters, my eyes glaze over as I recall crazy conversations on the phone or on skype, my heart literally hurts, and no one else in the world macthes my passion for life, music, and love like him. No one makes me burn with desire like him and I have never met someone so much like me and he and I come from completely different worlds! No one ever inspired me as much as he did. My current bf says he loves me and…honestly I know I don’t love him, but I do care abt him and think he deserves to be loved the way he loves me… :/ I haven’t been able to sleep, eat, and at school I can barely focus…I’m constantly thinking abt making him mine once again…or laughing at some corny-ass joke and then hav a 20 min debate on whether that was one of the lamest jokes he ever told… All I want is for him to be happy, but my intuition tells me that he does miss me and that he does love me and that he does want me…I’m not obsessed with me it jus so easy for me to read his emotions
admin
December 13, 2013 at 7:39 pm
Ok, first thing!
If you can’t sleep, eat or focus we have a problem b/c that fact tells me you are not emotionally ready to even get him back.
Jess
December 13, 2013 at 5:06 am
My boyfriend and I broke up because we crossed the line and had sex. I felt guilty being a sophomore in high school, a Christian, and that I was lying to my family so I came clean and apart of coming clean meant breaking up. My boyfriend, who was 4 years older than I, understood that it was the right thing to do and we agreed to break up, without a fight. Of course my parents then did not allow me to talk to him. A couple years later now, I still think about him because we really did have great chemistry and loved eachother, it wasn’t about having sex and only sex for most high schoolers and college ages kids. We see eachother three times a year, we don’t talk, but we see. We make eye contact and then look away. I wonder if he still thinks about me like I do for him???
admin
December 13, 2013 at 5:18 am
What do you want out of the relationship? Do you want to be friends with him or do you want an actual relationship?
Jess
December 13, 2013 at 5:27 am
Friendship first of all. It’s been years, I don’t know if a relationship is in the picture because of what happened and then the fact we haven’t spoke since we broke up. We have mutual friends (who aren’t aware we dated ect because we kept that private.) so we hear about eachother all the time, were just not in eachother’s lives. I don’t know where to start, it’s such a weird situation filled with unknowns. I can’t discuss it with people because the situation was kept a secret between families.
older and wiser
January 3, 2014 at 5:01 am
When you turn 18, tell him how you feel. Sex before marriage is not the end of the world. Jesus was friends with prostitutes. Cut yourself some slack. If you love him, and want his friendship, tell him so. Hugs to both of you.
jessica
December 12, 2013 at 8:37 am
Ive been seeing this guy for over 2 years and we both agreed to call it quits.. I don’t really talk to him or text him anymore but he still texts me about twice a week asking to see me and this has been going on now for over a year. My question is, does he still have feelings for me or has he just been using me this whole time? I would just like to move
admin
December 12, 2013 at 7:24 pm
I don’t think its black or white like that. But I would say one thing. What do his actions say?
Ruby
December 11, 2013 at 11:49 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me oct 2012, I begged him but he refuse so I stop contacting him but I try to get him off my mind but it not working, since then I think about him till now. Around july 2013 I woke up and saw his missed call I taught it was a mistake. But since then he keep texting me and when I got back to school he always call me out to see me and text me and anytime I meet him he will always hug me tight, touch me and even try to kiss me. Do you think he want the relationship back because the same thing happened tonight.
admin
December 12, 2013 at 6:57 pm
Not sure I would go as far to say that BUT these are positive signs.
Farida
December 11, 2013 at 4:52 pm
I just broke up with my ex 3 days ago. Until now, I haven’t contacted him again as I know he needs his space. But I keep thinking about him and hoping he would come back someday. I have deleted him off my Skype and unfollow him on Twitter, I was just still friends with him on Facebook. One day, tho, I posted a status about me feeling fine because I understood what happened between me and people around me (I meant him), and that I knew I couldn’t turn back the time but I’m satisfied with the things I learned. I think he knew it was directed for him as well, and he unfriend me in Facebook. He also followed my step in unfollowing me in Twitter. I was so shocked, even tho I know this is good so we can move on. So my status isn’t gonna pop up in his timeline again. I still keep on thinking about asking him if he wants to get back. With that kind of behavior of my ex, should I ever talk about getting back, in 30 days?
admin
December 12, 2013 at 1:56 am
Hav eyou read any of the major guides on this site. I lay the whole process out pretty easily.
zac
December 11, 2013 at 6:52 am
I think this applies to women as well, however it doesn’t tell me much about what to do if you’re married and falling back in love with an important ex lol. I’m truly in a hole lol.
admin
December 12, 2013 at 1:44 am
Well, I think your marriage should come first. So, sort that out before anything else.
Megan
December 10, 2013 at 6:55 pm
I found your page a few months ago when I was dumped, and in turn ended up getting back together with my ex. Well, we just broke up again. (Been together a year). He told me that he needs time to figure himself out, and discover who he is, and wants freedom. He also said that he does not know if he loves me anymore, though he has given non stop signs that he loves me. Currently we are in the middle of finals at school (he is beyond stressed), and we have a class together that we were planning on studying for together. He told me we would break up after the final (in one week), I don’t like the whole dragging me along concept here…
My question is, should I instantly start NC right now even with the class we have to study for? Would he resent me for this when we have this huge final? And is there any chance he will come back to me again when his reason is he wants to be free?
Thank you!
admin
December 12, 2013 at 1:17 am
Yes, but maybe in calss you can do a limited contact rule.
Megan
December 11, 2013 at 12:09 am
Just an update: I have not talked to him all day. Though I did run across him in an online game we would play as a mental break from studying. Didn’t say anything to him then.
Though, he has sent me a message on facebook, saying “how he wants to make one point on why he thinks we need time…” Due to him being unhappy recently, and gaining a lot of weight due to him currently being in depression. Also he stated “I just hope you understand why I need some time to become happy again.”
So now I am extremely confused…. Is he implying he wants to come back to me by just saying he needs time? Should I keep up NC?
Thank you!
admin
December 12, 2013 at 1:30 am
Give him the time and in the meantime look and feel the best you possibly can.
Megan
December 12, 2013 at 1:32 am
He has been texting me and facebook messaging a lot. I have been ignoring it, except i sent him a message telling him good luck on his finals (after he sent me the same). I really don’t know what is going on with him right now. If he wanted space, then why does he keep messaging me?
Megan
December 13, 2013 at 1:27 am
Also, with our final coming up, I feel like he may ask me to study with him this weekend. (He has the textbook we bought for the class together) I’m not sure if I should meet up with him for a bit to study or not…. I miss him so much, and I just want him to come back…
admin
December 13, 2013 at 7:22 pm
Nope I wouldnt.
Megan
December 11, 2013 at 4:36 am
Quick question on top of everything else….
How much time should I give him this “space” and keep up NC?
Just read on a forum we frequent that He is missing me a lot, but asking for advice on how to not run back to me. He added in that he is longing to see what else is out there.
Is all hope lost?
admin
December 12, 2013 at 1:41 am
Until the time feels right. Every situation feels different so you have to guage it but I usually recommend a full month of NC
Nicole
December 9, 2013 at 9:34 pm
So me n my bf broke up 2 weeks and 5 days ago n i have not contacted him at all. He contacted my on thanksgiving thro text dayin have a good thanksgiving. N i replied thanks u to. Nothing else. Sence then hes been liking songs about missing their love n songs about makeup sex n liking posts on facebook about reminising n lookin thro his phone at his pics n memmories. He broke up with me. N recently yest he stopped liking post like that and music like that. Idk what i should do. I dont wanna lose my chance with him. Idk if that was his way of reachin out n tellin me he misses me n i seemed like i ignored it. Can u tell me wat i should do? I really want our relationship back before christmas
admin
December 10, 2013 at 6:47 pm
First things first, have you implemented the no contact rule yet?
Nicole
December 6, 2013 at 7:06 pm
I last texted my ex around 11am on Monday in a group text & he responded. Around 5pm on Monday he called me. It’s very ironic that I looked at my phone just 2 minutes after he called. He didn’t leave a voicemail & hasn’t made anymore contact since then. Does his call have any significance?
admin
December 7, 2013 at 7:21 pm
Maybe some but not as much as you probably think.
Caiti
December 6, 2013 at 5:02 am
Hello, so my relationship with this guy started last year after i had transferred schools. At first it started as just casual talking, then we started texting, then after we hung out for the first time we started becoming really close. Our second time hanging out he finally asked me to be his girlfriend, school was almost over so that made me nervous. But we lasted almost two months and during part of the summer time we hung out a lot. I had even met his parents and his family. But like i said it only lasted about two months and a couple weeks before our two month anniversary he broke it off because i was not as religious as him. Needless to say about a month or so later we started talking and eventually got back together, after a week we broke up again because i was concerned we wouldnt be able to see eachother very much, i was also confused about my feelings for one of my guy best friends and i told him this as well. The next day i felt awful and miserable and we started talking again and he wanted to get back together so we did. He broke it off again out of anger because of what i had said previously about feelings for another guy. So for about a couple months we did not speak and i was starting to get over him. Sometime in late August he started speaking to me AGAIN and a month or so later he asked me out on my birthday, October 7th, we lasted over a month until about 2-3 weeks ago on a Thursday he broke it off with me again for some unknown reason. I soon found out he had been flirting with other girls and what not, basically cheating. I talked with him about all of it and i was quite upset but to my surprise i didn’t stay angry very long and i gave up. I decided not to hold a grudge and be rude to him. He has always said
How much he loved me and how important i was to him and that he never wanted to loose me. We even talked about the future and he said he wanted to marry me and we talked about living together and stuff.
After i decided to give up on holding a grudge he would text me every other day during the week. I never texted first. Over thanksgiving break he never texted me or contacted me. On Monday he texted me out of nowhere and he has texted me every day after school this week. I’ve noticed he replies much faster than he has in the past. He claims that he likes some other girl now but when he texts me he calls me adorable and puts winky/kissy faces and what not. He even told me to take him with me when i mentioned wanting to move to Hawaii tonight. He also mentioned living with him.
My family is very fed up with him and his mother hates me for no reason.
I have sort of started to get over him. I don’t want it to be an on and off toxic relationship. I love him but i dont know that i trust him. We’ve agreed to be friends for now which is fine. I am not sure what to do though. I’m pretty sure a lot of my friends a people that know me expect us to end up back together soon. I doubt it will happen though and im not even sure that i want it to. Thoughts? Opinions? Help?
admin
December 6, 2013 at 7:58 pm
Well weight your options here. Do you think a future healthy relationship can happen between you two?
Caiti
December 6, 2013 at 11:17 pm
Not really seeing as how he seems to be fickle.
It’s just really hard to avoid him.
I can however keep myself from texting him first.
It’s just when he texts me first its hard to restrain myself.
Half of me misses him and half of me wants him out of my life forever.