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Bonnie
November 19, 2013 at 11:32 pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years now and have broken up about a month ago, its not our first time though, but this time it seems to be “official”, he started dating not long ago, but keeps telling me he still loves me but doesn’t know why he keeps messing up etc, ever since then he keeps hopping from one young girl to the other (I know these girls) and makes it pretty clear to me that he is happy, I have decided to go full NC ever since the beginning of our breakup, our parents are pretty close making this super hard for me, I recently sent him a text telling him that I want nothing to do with him (which is the total opposite of what I want) he hasn’t stopped being all over the place since, why is he still all over the place if he claims he loves his girlfriend? is it possible to love two people at once, I don’t get it, we are not kids anymore, will he ever realize that and grow up? This is so frustrating. To top it all off I’m pregnant. How can I fix this?
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:37 pm
I think its possible but its really hard… (to love two people at once.)
I don’t think its a healthy thing either.
Amb__13
November 19, 2013 at 9:48 pm
Hey, This article is really helpful.
Im very confused, its a long story but I feel comfortable writing on here.
Me and my ex first saw eachother in one of my classes, he was sitting across the room from me and it all started because i winked at him haha, so we had eye contact for a few weeks and I started to get frustrated wondering if he actually liked me.. this boy took his sweet time! I thought in my head oh i will give him until easter to speak to me (which at this point was two weeks away with a two week holiday so a month) all my friends said I need to forget about him, ANYWAY, one day before the end of the easter holidays (risky) he added me on facebook and we chatted on chat for a few days, then after class he asked me to go for a coffee which we did, we were there for hours and hours and then kissed, anyway a few more dates we were getting on like a house on fire, he asked me to be his girlfriend it was great. Anyway, he was going through some family problems so he kept snapping at me but he kept doing it so in the end I was always upset so I broke it off after 3 months of dating, I really regret it, anyway when we broke up, he replied telling me im ugly and just a back up etc, I just left it, then we agreed to be friends, but hed deleted me off twitter, blocked me on facebook and i pressume deleted my number. We didnt speak for a few months , then i mailed him around a month ago saying that I got a new number and checking he was okay, anyway, he replied saying I was pathetic and that i should leave him alone because we will never be together, but I just dont know what to do, his profile photo is still me and him on facebook and we broke up in June/July and I know he goes on facebook . I am really miserable without him and I cant understand why he is so horrible to me all the time? Do you think he still likes me? I know this may sound naive but honestly I dont know what to do, I havent liked someone properly in ages. We are both 18. Also, I feel sad because xmas is coming up soon and I pressume he will be alone, and I dont want that.
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:30 pm
Well what do his actions say? Take words out of the equation for a second. What do his actions say about him?
Natalie
November 19, 2013 at 2:53 pm
My boyfriend and I were dating for 21 months. In my eyes, he wasn’t acting like how he use to about 1 month prior to the breakup. I would always question him about and get upset. One day I just didn’t know what to do anymore. He was fighting for the relationship and then later that day the tables turned. He thought “we were meant to be together” and we had broken up for a weekend on that Friday because then he felt like he needed to be on his own for a while, but he still loved me. Next day, Saturday, I begged for him and it didn’t work. But then that Sunday, he asked if I was doing okay and I said yeah and he said he wasn’t. We had a good conversation because he told me he loved me very much and was hoping that we get back together but he just needed space. And let me add that he lied our entire relationship about his V-Card. He lost it to me when he said he didn’t. On that Monday, he told me he wanted to see me and I asked if seeing me would change anything and he said “yeah.” So we got back together that Monday. But the next day, it just went back to how it use to be. It was like that for the next 2 weeks until I flipped out on him again because he became friends with this girl again, that he knew I had a problem with, and it just seemed like he wasn’t on my side anymore. We hung out that night (and everything was good) and after he left, I was upset because he was friends with her on the social networking sites so I told him he needed to be free and that he didn’t want this anymore. He told me that “he loves me and that he loves being with me but he doesn’t thinks were meant to be together and that he doesn’t think there’s a future for us.” and he told me not to beg for him and to move on. I did that and a couple days later he texted me really upset because he was wondering how I got over it so fast. I kept ignoring him, but then I texted him back. He was saying all this crap like that I’m always on his mind and he’s having a really difficult time with the breakup. He felt like he needed to see me for closure and tell me what he’s thinking because we broke up via text message. I thought about it and I didn’t think we should see each other so when he texted me two days later, I told him I didn’t want to see him but I wanted to read out this thing I wrote out about him so we talked on the phone. He told me he wasn’t trying to mess with my head. He was balling his eyes out on the phone, and he’s never cried over a girl before. I asked him why he thought we weren’t meant to be together and he wasn’t sure but then he was saying that there might be a couple reasons why but he didn’t want to tell me right then and there because I was working so we were going to talk a little later that day. He couldn’t call me later so we said goodbye over text message. He told me he thinks he might be overthinking about this whole thing and that he doesn’t know wants but his mom told him to give it time and not to rush into getting over me but not to rush into anything else but that it was going to be hard not to talk to me. I told him that he was never going to know what he wants unless he kept his distance from me, and that maybe in the end he wouldn’t want me anymore. He said “don’t think that way, I’ve had the best times of my life with you. You act like you meant nothing to me” and I told him I was scared that it was going to happen. But he just told me to be happy and to keep doing what I was doing before he messaged me that one night and that’d he would try to be happy but probably wouldn’t be and that he loves me and always will. The next day he texted me saying “Don’t respond because I’ll just want to talk to you but watch this.” It was a video of a sneak peak of a new season of a show we watched together. What was the point of that? My brother texted him later that night, and I didn’t know about it until the next day, and he said to my ex “Please don’t talk to my sister. I know it’s hard to let her go but when you text her it makes her upset. So please give her space” ETC. My ex said that he was sorry and that those weren’t his intentions. That was two days ago that that conversation happened, and now I think I’m more upset than I was when we first broke up. Now I don’t think he will contact me. I honestly don’t know what to do at this point because I never understood the real reason why we broke up. He’s the most confusing person. Please help me. I want to wait for him but it’s so hard. It’s been 3 days since we’ve had a conversation and I’m going to try the no contact rule. Please note: I’m 19 and he’s 20 and we started dating our senior year in high school. We both live at home and he just started school this past summer but I’ve been in school since June 2012.
admin
November 19, 2013 at 7:36 pm
What have you tried so far?
Natalie
December 2, 2013 at 12:50 pm
Well, we haven’t talked in 2 weeks. He was posting really confusing stuff on Twitter ever since we last talked.Two days later after my brother texted him, he liked my status on Facebook that was suppose to be inspiring for me, It said “I think about how unfortunate life can be sometimes, but then i think of other people who go through situations more drastic than mine. After I think about that, I realize yes, life can be unfair, but that this is just a bump in the road and life is only going to get better. This is the beginning.” I don’t know whether he agreed or not but I just got annoyed that he liked it. An hour later, he posted a status of his favorite bible verse (Joshua 1:9). And let me mention that we both never post anything on Facebook. So it was odd. I lurked his Twitter later that day and he put “Idk anymore”. I was confused because he told me didn’t know what he wanted and now he’s posting that? I was confused. That’s what I get for lurking. But then he deleted it a little later. On that Wednesday (11/20) he retweeted two tweets “I’m not strong enough for this” & “And all I want. Is to tell you I love you and make you wanna stay. There’s gotta be a way cuz going on with out you is killing me everyday” and then on Thursday he retweeted “Sometimes you have to tear down what took you so long to build up in order to improve yourself” …. I really need to stop lurking because all that did was make me more confused than I already was. He made it seem as if I was the one to leave him when I didn’t… On Thursday (11/21) I’m cool with his one girl friend (We’ll call her Kate) that he has, so I asked if I could talk to Kate in confidence and she said yes. We met up on Friday (11/22) and I told her about everything that happened. Kate wasn’t going to tell my ex because she knew that’d he be mad if he found out. So I had to just trust what she said. I asked her opinion on the break up and she felt that the break up was really hard on both of us but life was just telling us we needed to grow apart. And maybe in the end we could be together but we don’t know that. Only time can tell. Kate doesn’t even know the real reason why we broke up. My ex doesn’t talk about his feelings much but to be honest, I’m not even sure that exact reason why we did either. And I don’t think he does either. There’s a million reasons. She told me that he’s been really up and down and how Friday was his bad day. After I met up with her, I went home and saw he posted a status saying “bleh”.. I don’t know whether that was to get my attention or what but I didn’t like it nor did I like the previous status from a couple days ago. Later that night (11/22) Kate texted me a screenshot of hers and my ex’s conversation. She just went through a break up so they were talking about her ex and my ex said “stop worrying about him” and she said “I’m trying, don’t worry about her” and he said “huh? Unecessary. I also dated her for almost two years.” Does that he mean he is worrying about me? I’m so confused! This past weekend, he seemed to be fine. I was okay too. Kate told me on Saturday that she doesn’t know why he told me to think the worst and that I should think whatever happens, will. Everyday getting easier. I posted a picture on Monday (11/25) on Facebook saying
“If you expect the worst, the worst will happen. You are your own stress, your own anger, your own sadness and frustration. If you let things bother you, they will. So don’t let them. Nothing in life is easy, so make the best of it all. Don’t dwell on the negatives. Optimism is key.” and he liked it! I don’t know why he did. I felt like he was trying to communicate with me. He could’ve ignored that status if he wanted too but he didn’t. And then on Thanksgiving, he posted a tweet on twitter saying “I’ve come to a conclusion that worrying and being unhappy is a waste of my life, so why not be happy and live?” what am I suppose to think about that? I’m half way through the NC rule and he still hasnt texted me.
Cloey
November 18, 2013 at 2:01 pm
Hey, well,
My ex broke up with me because he was depressed and needed space to sort his head out and i was in the wrong a bit with some things i did,
We were going out 1 years and 4 months, but before we were close friends for a year or 2. Like whenever we were both single we would kiss and stuff, very close, he said he loved me back them.
After he broke up with me i went to his house to talk about it, we both acted like normal and had a good time, he didnt give me a definite yes to getting back together.
He texted me the day after and the day after just asking if i was okay and stuff, an he said his love for me would never go away and we told eachother we loved eachother.
In the mmo we play on we always chat about the game and stuff, and other things.
I mentioned no contact to him and he said it wouldn’t work because for him it would have the opposite effect, he’d loose his feelings for me that way. Its been 2 weeks and hes texts me a few times and i asked if he wanted to meet up sometime and he said maybe,
So yeah, it’s really confusing
meg
November 17, 2013 at 6:33 pm
Hi Me and my boyfriend just broke up three days ago.We been together for three months.We was suppose to go out to dinner and then I called him and thats when he said that his ex girlfriend who has moved to florida for like a year an then comes back after a year.So he said one night that his ex girlfriend came to his work an that after he seen her an they talked alittle bit that he still had feelings for her.So he said to me that were done an that he wants to sit down with his ex an talk an see where things go from there.I said dont u love me he said he did at one point.But then he says we can still be friends.Everytime I want to sit down an talk bout what happen he always makes an excuse not too.Just last night I got drunk an he txt me an I was rezlly wsted zn I said that I dont know where Im at an then right away he calls me an asks Me if im ok he did that twice to me last night.I take it as he still cares tho.
admin
November 18, 2013 at 5:31 pm
He still does probably. May I ask if you have done NC?
Kel
November 15, 2013 at 3:36 am
Hi Chris,
Anyways, I dated my ex for over a year and lived with him for half of that time. We have been broken up since the beginning of October. I finally got him to talk to me after making it 28 days without any contact with him… almost made it the full 30 lol.
Anyways, we texted for 2 days and he wanted to come by & see me. He came by & brought me my stuff and he had written me a hand written letter, front and back, saying that he loves me and I mean a lot to him, etc…
While he was here visiting me he told me that he doesn’t want me back because we aren’t compatible but he wants to be really close friends. Ok so close of friends that he even asked to sleep with me… lol… but I said no. He texted me off and on for a few days after but all he kept saying was sorry it didn’t work out between us but we aren’t compatible but he does love me. I didn’t even ask him to get back together, not even once, but he still kept saying the same thing.
I finally sent him a text 2 days ago, after he texted me asking if he could come over and sleep with me with no strings attached, that he was selfish and don’t contact me again. He really broke my heart asking for sex after saying we could only be friends. He sent me 3 texts after my text, which I ignored, he then sent me another text about the girl he has been seeing and he didn’t want to hurt me. Really? Why mention it then? His last text, which I ignored too, was him saying he is sorry and he is a piece of sh*t, etc…
Like I mentioned earlier, I already did the 30 day NC… ok 28 but give a girl a break. lol. I am so confused. Should I respond to that last text he sent 2 days ago or just never respond? Like I said I ignored the previous 4 or so text he sent before the last one. I really do love him but don’t want to be dragged through the mud. I really need a guys opinion.
Thanks so much!
Lacy
November 18, 2013 at 9:08 pm
My boyfriend and I had been together for a year and he broke up with me because he said that he loved me as a friend, not as a romantic partner, which is cool, but the day after he broke up with me, he told me that he didn’t know if he made the right decision and he didn’t know if that was actually the case. I told him that he and I should consider not contacting one another for a short period of time and he was okay with that idea. It was like a week. I texted him (I know I broke rules) saying that I hope he is doing well and then in a week, he said that he didn’t regret his decision.
Furthermore, a week or so later, I learn that he has a thing with this one girl who is sort of manipulative and has dated quite a bit of his friends due to “abandonment issues” and she always has weird, vindictive plans to get back at her ex… I kind of ignored my woman’s intuition because I kind of suspected that he would get with her because he went out with her and her friends a few days before breaking up with me, but I decided I’d trust him. I didn’t want warfare between the girl and I because she’s kind of scary, so I told her that I wish them the best and she was like “I’m really sorry that it didn’t work out between you two, and I always wanted you guys to work out!!!!” She would playfully touch him and flirt with him prior to us breaking up as well, now that I think about it, and guys seem to love the chase, and I guess we lost it after a while because we got really comfortable with one another. Her saying that thoughwas just really weird and manipulative, but now I’m going off on a tangent.
I was upset when I first learned about this and I went ballistic on him because he had told me that he loved me and it’s as though I meant nothing to him. He and I used to talk about everything and he used to look at me with love in his eyes and he cried when he broke up with me and still has this helpless look whenever he sees me, and I don’t know.
I have dealt with depression and anxiety and he was always there for me and I always listened to him when he had problems he wanted to share. He would read me to sleep and we could write together, and there was just something really intimate there tbag he must not have felt.
I haven’t talked to him in days because I need to focus on me and getting better, but as I type this, I realize that it’s probably pointless to assume that he’ll want me back because he’s moved on and perhaps I have to do so to. I’m doing well moving on. I’ve been focusing on myself and the thought of him not coming back is not as scary as it was originally, but I’m definitely still in love with him.
Is there still a fragment of light at the end of this tunnel? I want to know so I can move on and if there is, is there a possible way that the NC rule will even work in my case? I’m okay if it doesn’t; I just want to know so I don’t have to hurt myself further with false hope if there is none.
admin
November 19, 2013 at 6:09 pm
I think there is go ahead and give it a try.
admin
November 15, 2013 at 6:51 pm
Have you used any of the text messages yet?
Kel
November 15, 2013 at 7:46 pm
Yes, I used the texts suggestions you recommended after I did the 28 days of NC. I didn’t bring up our relationship once, it was always him bringing it up and him apologizing that it didn’t work out. Also, it was him that kept saying that he loved me. I’m not sure if I should just let it go since he kept repeating that we weren’t compatible but says he would like to be close friends. I haven’t texted him back at all after ignoring his last texts the other day. I can’t make someone want to be with me.
admin
November 16, 2013 at 8:29 pm
What were your texts like?
R R
November 13, 2013 at 6:48 pm
Me and my bf had a long distant relation for 3.5 years n we were about to marry n he lives in australia so i m still doing my graduation so after marriage if i shift he has to bear my education cost but he said me that my dad should bear it but my dad is not in a situation to bear it so i told him that my dad my cant and after listening to it he became so rude that he told me to forget all the dreams of marrying him and he wnt make our family meet and he will only marry me when my parents can afford the money.I was really upset and cried a lot that day and aftr i said that to my mom she said this guy doesnt luv u he luves your money…but aftr 8 days he called me 4 times but i cut the call then he texted me that he is doing breakup and he will not harm me anyway and wrote that i have been disturbing him by giving miscall not to do that again n then i changed my number so that he cant cl me but he has been calling me in my landline giving blank calld or directly wanting me by taking my friends name…moreover this person had a really bad temper…in very small matter he reacted very furiously but now he is jst getting mad to talk to me…today is jst 10 days we r not talking…does he love me truly?
admin
November 14, 2013 at 6:06 pm
Have you read the LDR guide yet?
Do
November 12, 2013 at 4:04 pm
Wow! Where do I begin? I am 62 and fell for a man twelve yrs my junior. Our relationship was amazing on every level and the age difference was never an issue. We never had a harsh word between us. Then suddenly, out of the blue about six months into it, he withdrew. We never even had a “formal” break up talk. He had been hinting about moving in together but then I felt him pulling away.
I am old fashioned. I do not call or chase after men so I told him it would have to be him that contacts me and implementing the NCR while painful for me was not that difficult. After a solid month of following the rule he began to come around. That was last February. He calls everyday, tells me everything… Seeks my opinion…. Takes me out… Not exactly a date but…. He comes over and stays for hours just talking or watching tv… We laugh, have deep talks…. I feel closer to him than ever. I love him and I truly believe we are soulmates.
However…. We never talk about “us”. I never ask what happened. I never tell him how I feel… He still calls me the little pet names he used to. He even refers to me as, “my girl”.
Perhaps I am afraid that if I did broach the subject I would lose him as my dear and best friend.
It feels like he loves me. You would think at my age I would know by now what is going on and what to do! But sadly, I do not!
There are many more details, but I have tried to just hit the high points.
Any advice as to what is going on and what I should or how to proceed is greatly appreciated!
Thank you,
~Di
admin
November 12, 2013 at 7:46 pm
Hi There,
I have to say that I am glad you commented!
I think you should implement a mini no contact rule for about 21 days on him.
Also, I know you said the age difference wasn’t an issue but do you think it could be for him but he just didn’t say anything?
Do
November 12, 2013 at 8:40 pm
Hi!
Thank you, for responding!
When we first met, I was very direct about the age diffrerence and he is the one who over and over again, said it didn’t matter. I am not usually taken for my age… However, I am up front about it and do not profess to be younger…
I am curious about revisiting the NCR again as to what it may accomplish but I am open to the idea. I guess I just don’t understand why he chooses to spend so much time with me if he doesn’t want a committed relationship. It feels like we are in one but lacking the “label” and declarations as in saying I love you. He has to be dumb as a door knob if he doesn’t know my feelings!
We go to our favorite place all the time where acquaintances “watched us fall In love” and they as well as strangers think we are a couple! It is ackward and a little painful when we each say, we are just good friends!
Please, continue to enlighten me!
Thanx!
~Di
admin
November 13, 2013 at 6:38 pm
By all means revist NC if you feel it is the right thing to do.
Do
November 13, 2013 at 6:42 pm
But I would appreciate your opinion on what NC would accomplish at THIS point in time!
Thanx!
~Di
admin
November 14, 2013 at 6:05 pm
It will give both of you a chance to think more about the situation.
Him- to possibly miss you or realize a mistake hes made.
You- To think more logically and better yourself.
Abby
November 12, 2013 at 3:58 pm
Hi my ex boyfriend and hav been broken up about a month now. He broke? up with me because he say he needs some space to get to kno himself better. Also because he never got the chance to b single, he say he went from one relationship to another without giving himself some time for himself. He is 25 and i am 26 he kno that i am gonna b his wife but he didn’t kno we was gonna go through this b 4 marriage. The thing is how can i do the no contact rule when i am still living with him until march when i can afford my own apartment. I do find myself texting him everyday to c how he is doin because we both sometime work all day and i hav a 5 yr old that’s not his buthe.raised him since he was born. I need help controlling my feelings i ask him how long he don’t kno he jus say only time can tell. He jus scared that i may end up with someone or married or havin a child. Please help me
admin
November 12, 2013 at 7:48 pm
You may need to go full NC…
Abby
November 13, 2013 at 4:07 am
I am gonna do it and i will update you in 30days
admin
November 13, 2013 at 7:42 pm
Definitely do.
Anne
November 11, 2013 at 9:37 pm
On day 31 of no contact I ran into my exboyfriend (of three and a half months) in a coffee shop where he came over and gave me a hug, immediately after he texted me saying that it was good to see me, and that it gave him butterflies. I responded after 8 hours (he typically works during the day and there were always long periods of time where we waited to text), and said it was good to see him too and that I had the same butterflies. We have begun texting every other day or so- all positive repsonses, and I am trying to play it cool by not initiating- although I think I will initiate tomorrow. He asked if I wanted to go running together this week-(something we used to do a lot) and I agreed- although we never set a date or time, he simply told me he would let me know what day worked best….am I doing the right thing? Is he interested? Can I bring up the bike ride again? HELP
admin
November 12, 2013 at 6:45 pm
You are! Things are progressing very nicely.
Rin
November 10, 2013 at 2:42 am
I am so confused. Me and my bf decided to breakup a few days ago. It clearly was my fault why it happened. I was insecure and i gave gim the hardest time he was patient and understood me. He is very nice and perfect I was just negative. We broke up on the phone and met to finally end things for good. He teared up and hugged me and even kissed me and told me he still loves me. I feel the same way. I love him too much it hurts. We did not close our chances of getting back together at all. But whenever I message him he sounds somewhat mean. I don’t get it. How come he’s different in person? I am so confused. I don’t know what to do. I acted strong when we met. I tried my best to not cry. Please help me. Is he just playing with my feelings?
It’s been nights that I can’t sleep and eat properly. I still have hopes of that day of us making up. I don’t want to lose him forever. We’ve been together for 3 years now and I don’t want to throw everything away. I don’t know if he still loves me. He’s different on texts and in person. My heart is breaking. I don’t want to move on I love him to death. This breakup made me realize a lot of things about myself but it makes me really depressed. I just want him to come back to me. I don’t want to look desperate in front of him though. I don’t wanr to text him. I want to give him space and I want to rebuild myself but I am afriad that he will realize it is best for us to really end it forever. I know I will have to let him go if that happens but I love him too much. It hurts me so much and I regret all the terrible things I had done to him.
admin
November 10, 2013 at 9:49 pm
Have you iniitated the NC rule yet?
Rinichin
November 27, 2013 at 5:16 am
hello, I would just like to let you know it did work. Thank you so much. He called me and told me he misses me and wants to get back together
admin
November 27, 2013 at 8:13 pm
Wow that is amazing! Great job!
Rin
November 11, 2013 at 1:01 am
I haven’t really
hisWifey
November 7, 2013 at 6:41 am
Okay so.. I dated this guy when i was 17 and we broke up after a year. Well fast forward to 26 and a 18month old. And we got back together. We dated for a year. He was struggling with some demons and i stood by him and kept faith that he could grow if given the chance and be a better man. Everyone else counted him out. He finally got the chance so I told him to g. So it turned into a ldr from June to Nov. We both have been really stressed past month and it caused us to bicker and have some disagreements. And he dont handle that well although every couple argues. He stopped talking to me firat for a weekend.. Then we spoke for 3days then a wholenext weekend no contact then it jumped to a whole.month. He called.me his wife told everyone he was happily married to a great woman and had two kids his daughter and my son. He would send money every week to help support my son even when i insisted he didnt.. Well then the whole month no contact from himbhappened and he waited til the day after our one year anniversary to change his fb status and i text him and told him lets end it like adults. He told me i needed to move on i deserved better that he wasnt coming back he really did love me but i was here he was there and that he needed to focus on him that he couldnt deal with the drama and bullshit (the arguements which was over petty stuff cuz we were just so stressed out) we had planned for me to move there with him but my gma passed and i ended up moving into be my gpas caregivers and i guess he felt like he said it just wouldnt work (no telling when our plan would work out) then same day he broke it off w me he joined eharmony! And tried to add a few females and flirt i think it was to turn his focus on another female to not think about us(“his family”) cuz he has made contact with them since. Im at a loss he has told me he couldnt do what Hes doing without me supporting him, and we are the reason he keep going. He was looking at engagement rings actually bought one but was wring size. And alot of the actions is he had his sister talking in him ear when she over heard us arguing she told him he didnt need negative ppl in him life! Hes told me i was his soulmate his queen ect and he wanted to grow old and me be by his side til he died. I dont believe u can just turn off emotions like that. We was brought back together for a reason and we really do well together he says Im the fire under his ass and his backbone :-).. Do u think the no contact could work here or is it to late and a waste bc its a ldr?!? My Gpa isnt going to be around much longer a year at the moat as we had planned that when he passed id go live down there (original plan was for him to work save money, get his head right and get on right track and he would transfer back here.. But his sister made are he got the job he was most interested in cuz she knew he wouldnt leave if that happened) help me anyone! My son is my world and together the 3of them make up my heart. I can never be whole without those missing pieces. I can survive but ill never feel truly happy if i cant have my family back together.. This was my last shot at love i cant go thru this again my heart cant take it and.. Nobody has ever cared and loved me and respected me the way he had.
hisWifey
November 7, 2013 at 9:44 pm
Okay do read the ldr blog. And Im prepared to go through with the no contact. Besides as you said.. Your ex WILL contact you eventually Juat a matter of HOW! lol( read i read some of Ur other stuff as well)
But i am a little concerns with the fact that over the month he didnt talk to me i did text him quiet a bit.. He responded a few times one was “of course i forgive you baby, ill call u later) (forgave me for the arguements Im guilty of mind you there has not been anything other then petty arguements on both parts. No cheating ect) but when he didnt call my fingers went to work… Do you think that even with the nc i still have the chance?! (he knows that i was very serious about us and he knows i knew he was as well. That being the only reason i was hunting for some kinda explanation) i know i know
hisWifey
November 8, 2013 at 5:33 pm
hey i know you Havnt even had time to see the last post.. but i did a little digging and found his pandora account (dont ask lol we shared alot) anyways i found that he has favorited and been listening to songs like “wait for me, not meant to be,” theory of a dead man “when Im gone”3doors down “lips of an angel, better then me”hinder “second chance”shinedown jar og heafts-christina Perry. drops of Jupiter – train. learn my lesson-daughtry breakeven-the script
i noticed his picks changed a couple days before we broke up and its continued like this up until today.. do you think i am reading into it to much.. or do you think it has to do with the way he is feeling and maybe missing me?!? lol the jar of hearts kinda threw me off there o_O Idk.. i hope its a good thing.. seems a lil depressed maybe?!?
admin
November 8, 2013 at 7:32 pm
I love all those bands. I saw Shinedown live!
Yes you are reading too much into it. haha.
hisWifey
November 8, 2013 at 7:43 pm
id love to are shine down. and okay thought so.. just found ut a lil odd he listens to more upbeat.. he like the genre of music.. just not songs like that.. Thats stuff i listen to when i am heartbroken Lmao but then again.. Im a female what do i know. 😀 thanks for the add by the way. and i appreciate any advice and help you have to offer. Im loving Ur site
admin
November 9, 2013 at 11:49 pm
Of course! I am just hoping the site keeps getting better and better.
Do
November 12, 2013 at 9:03 pm
Funny how lyrics and music can speak to the soul of two who had their hearts entwined! Sorry, I wax poetic…. But I don’t think you are reading in….
~Di
admin
November 13, 2013 at 6:47 pm
We have a poet here!
admin
November 7, 2013 at 6:20 pm
Absoultey I think it can work.
You should also take a look at the LDR guide.
Nivi
November 6, 2013 at 9:05 am
Hey Chris,
How can I know this as in my case it was LDR?
He hasn’t texted or called or contacted me in any way 🙁
It has been slightly over a month that we broke up, nothing from his side.
Got anything for cases like mine? 🙁
admin
November 6, 2013 at 5:38 pm
I wrote a long distance relationship guide.
Stevie
November 5, 2013 at 9:49 pm
Hi, so basically my boyfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me a week ago and I am absolutely devastated. He was upset during he break up (crying which he never ever does) and said he’s till wants to be there for me even though he isn’t my boyfriend and asked to meet up with me a few days later so we left it at that.
We work together twice a week so the NC rule is kind of impossible. After he left mine, I didn’t text him at all and so he texted me the day after asking how I was. Since the we have texted a few times every day until the Sunday that we were meeting up on which we texted all day. The meet up was lovely, we had a nice casual meal in the eve with no mention of the break up, just chatting. That night he texted me as soon as I got back saying thank you for a nice eve and then we texted all that evening.
Now however, I haven’t heard anything from him. I’m so confused after we talked so much before, during and after the meetup and now absolutely nothing. He initiated the conversation as well so wasn’t me trying too hard for conversation, it just felt normal. I just don’t understand why now there is nothing?.
admin
November 6, 2013 at 5:03 pm
Looks like you are going to have to do a minimal contact rule.
emi
November 5, 2013 at 9:06 pm
We have been dating with my boyfriend 2 and half years btt the prnblem is,wheneverwe missunderstand on asmall i sue he keeps telling me lets breakup.but after one to two weeks he apolagise then we get back again.but my problem each tme we brock up its alwayz hm who came up with the decishion and he chase from the house he doesnt care wether its during the day or night he push me out of the house.am not talking a bout a day or two here but several times.please admin shud i say thats my future hasband or i should wait,
admin
November 6, 2013 at 5:01 pm
Have you done the NC rule yet?
Kat
November 5, 2013 at 7:36 pm
I’m clutching at straws here…
My boyfriend broke up with me beginning of July. It was completely unexpected, and I suspect it was due to some demons he was fighting, rather than anything he was or wasn’t getting from me. He used an excuse that was both ridiculously not true, and he knew that. When he came to collect all his stuff a week or so later, he looked terrible. Completely and utterly broken. We spoke (well, I spoke and he listened) briefly, and then he left. There was no more contact.
Then a few weeks later, I found some stuff that belonged to him and called him to let him know so he could collect it. It wasn’t an ill received phone call, and he did sound a little emotional when I asked him how he was, but never the less, he answered my call straight away, despite being at work.
A couple of weeks later, I called him. I had had a boozy lunch and was missing him and wanted to tell him. I thought time apart was helping the situation, and he was very kind and even jovial on the phone. He told me he would call over the weekend to arrange to collect the stuff. He never called.
I gave him a few days more, just in case he had every intention of calling or texting – you know, not to jump the gun and all that, and then called him to ask he come pick it up because its in the way. He didn’t answer so I sent a text. A rather blunt and angry text. He very quickly texted back saying he had no credit and he had to go and get credit and if I was going to take that tone, he wasn’t going to listen. He pretty much tried to get every other person in his life to collect the stuff and despite me saying I didn’t want certain people appearing on my doorstep, he proceeded to try to organise that. I told him not to bother as I would take the stuff to his place instead and did. The next morning, I got a couple of very nasty, angry text messages from him which I ignored.
A couple of months later (September) I made contact. A couple of texts. To which he replied with rather abrasive texts claiming I was trying reverse psychology on him and during our relationship he did love me so I shouldn’t doubt that he did. I wasn’t doubting or using reverse psychology or anything ridiculous like that. I was just extending the olive branch in hope that he would have cooled down a bit and maybe ready to talk.
The truth is, I have no idea what went wrong. I have no idea why he really left me. I have a small idea, but cannot understand why that would be a reason to leave me, other than he was hoping he could avoid embarrassment of admitting he was in a bad place. I never got the chance to sit with him and talk. Ive never had a chance to show my support for him in this new situation, and I think based on previous relationships he has been in, they weren’t willing to help. We are both well and truly adults, and our relationship was very healthy and stable and going in a great direction. There was love, friendship, support and care. There wasn’t any cheating or even love interests to complicate things, and we hadn’t hit any rough patches prior to the break up.
I have written a letter. Not a long one, but not a short one. Just a letter of feelings and good memories, and how I have moved on with things in my life (I had until Id hit this sandbank) but just wanting to know if he could tell me what happened and also, generally just asking after him. I didn’t write that I missed him, or wanted him back. There were no pleas or anything like that as that wasn’t the intention of the letter. I have only just posted it, and don’t really expect a response.
What do I do or say if I do get a response? I am half expecting any response to be a negative one again, and I don’t know how I will cope with that.
I don’t believe he has just “switched off” the love he had for me, and I believe his love was sincere. My friends all believed he absolutely adored me and we were a great couple. I believed that too – no doubt ever crossed my mind that it would end as it did yet alone end any time soon. I don’t understand what is making him hurt so much that he cannot be civil to me and talk. We had built a strong and honest relationship and I wish I knew what he was feeling or how it could have been resolved.
admin
November 6, 2013 at 4:46 pm
Well personally I would have recommended the no contact rule!
Letters almost never work out.
Kat
November 6, 2013 at 7:55 pm
I actually forgot to mention that I did originally try the no contact rule for a little over 30 days and it was met with anger. I figured, even though its been over 60 days since that contact was made (ncr again), a phonecall or text might not be welcomed?
admin
November 7, 2013 at 5:23 pm
Well, I think a text is the least threatening way to go about it. Thats just my opinon.
anonymous
November 5, 2013 at 4:26 am
And sooo. I went for lunch with my ex. And he did touched me, on my waist when we’re walking side by side. His hand lingered a few seconds longer than i expected. And tickled me when i made a joke. So what i do wanna know is, was he just being horny? Flirty? Or…? The last time he was this touchy was months ago! At least 6months ago. When things were going well. But when things were rocky, he didn initiate much physical contact.
Maybe you should do up another guide of signs that your ex is no longer in love with you/that he has another woman. As hurtful as that may be. Sometimes we ladies just don’t want to feel being led on. If he indeed just want to be friends etc or if there’s really no more hope in the rshp. And we ladies tend to read too much into the littlest thing he say or do, and may have misunderstood his intentions.
Gosh i’ve been spamming on most of your guides! Hahaha.
admin
November 5, 2013 at 6:07 pm
I prefer to look at it as you are adding value to them.
Signs your ex boyfriend is not in love with you anymore…. I like it. I’ll put it on the to-do list.
victoria
October 30, 2013 at 8:26 pm
So Me And My Ex Boyfriend Been Dating Since 9/13/13 and two weeks ago we broke up because somebody hacked my fb page and told him it was over and tellin people they wanna fight and i tried to tell him it wasnt me like its crazy cause hella people sayin he still like me because he still likes to play hit me and hug me nd he looks at me in the eye bur today he tokd be he doesnt talk to me anymore meanin idk but i really like him tbh i still cant get over him i want him back. What should i do?++
admin
October 30, 2013 at 10:12 pm
That was one strange message. You must have typed it from your phone or something b/c there looked like there was a lot of autocorrects hahahaha.
Umm.. tell me are you trying out NC?
Rachel
October 30, 2013 at 7:31 am
My boyfriend of over a year broke up with me on Friday but it was due to the fact that after recently being made redundant he’s been applying for so many jobs and has been getting only rejections. As a result this has been stressing him out bc he’s always had a job since he was 13. We live in London which is an expensive city so as a result he’s made the decision to move back home bc he can’t afford to live here without an income. From his body language I know he didn’t want to break up. His heart was racing and the vein on his neck was pumping so fast and his hands were shaking and it looked like he was going to cry and I’ve never seen him like that before. He said that he needed space to figure things out with his career and he didn’t know where he would be which is why he didn’t want to do long distance. He said he wanted to see me before he moved back so 3 days later he contacted me. He asked how I was doing and if I still wanted to meet up. I said I had better moments and he said the same thing back to me. We met up last night and put everything on the table. He told me straight up that he’s going to regret breaking up bc I was the best gf he’s ever had and he’s going to miss me and cares a lot about me. There was hugging on his part and crying on mine and long sad looks into each other’s eyes. It’s felt pretty much like a really sad movie that’s just heartbreaking to watch bc we care so much for each other and it’s an unnatural cause that’s keeping us apart. He said he still wants to be friends and talk anytime and he told me to do what I want to do. It’s going to be tough not having him around bc he always gave me butterflies in my stomach whenever I saw him, even after a year of being together. He always made me laugh and smile and I felt genuinely happier whenever he was around. I told him that I only want the best for him in life and would always be there for him. From all this does it seem like there is hope of reconnecting again?
admin
October 30, 2013 at 9:24 pm
There is as long as you play your cards right. Of course, a chance doesn’t guarantee success but its there.
Rachel
November 6, 2013 at 5:58 pm
How exactly do I play my cards right? :S this morning I found it quite amusing as I was walking to work someone had thrown out a board game called “play your cards right”, not sure if that’s a sign :S haha
admin
November 7, 2013 at 5:01 pm
Hahaha or just a crazy coincidence. Pretty much just utilize the stuff I talk abou ton the site.
Trina
October 30, 2013 at 5:24 am
I really enjoyed reading the article. It was really interesting because I can relate to some of the information you were giving.. I will follow the NCR and see how far can I go. My goal is to start in the new year so its a fresh start and something I can actually accomplish.. thanks..
admin
October 30, 2013 at 9:19 pm
Sweet good luck to you and keep us all updated!