7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

Lisa

October 30, 2013 at 7:14 pm

I started seeing him while he was on a “break” from his girlfriend. She cried a lot and was very sad. He’d rather commit a crime than make a girl cry. It wasn’t long before they were back together. He didn’t tell me. He just kept showering me with love and affection. I found out I initiated the NC rule. I lasted 2 weeks. He contacted multiple times literally begged me to stay. He said I was the one but he didn’t know how to break up with his girl after such a long time. Fast forward 4 months they are still together and I’m a side thing. He has to see her daily in classes for at least the next several months. He swears he loves me and we will be together. He’s to his friends about me they’ve checked me out and “approved” whatever that’s about lol, but I don’t know how to leave and get it across to him that he had a choice. He gets crazy (not psycho just clingy desperate) when he feels me pulling away, but if I don’t keep him guessing he does nothing. BTW he texts me morning and night. First thing, last thing. He seems so sincere in some ways. How do I 1) tell him goodbye so he feels it and understands it and 2) (dont be offended) do men really remember you after a month if you leave. If he loves me will he be able to come back after a month or more of no contact?

admin

October 30, 2013 at 10:09 pm

1. Just be up front and honest with him.
2. I certainly did. I remember every girl I was serious about still to this day.
Lisa

October 31, 2013 at 6:58 pm

Thanks for your response. I told him goodbye last night. I explained my reasons calmly. I told him I understood there was no future for us if he was in love with another girl. I told him other than the sadness of us not working out I had nothing but good feelings about our time together and that I love an respect him so much. Then I left. About 20 minutes later I got the first text. He said “I’m so in love with you. You are my forever and always. You are perfection to me and no other women can even compare. I’m sorry if I’ve not showed you this. I can see me spending my life with you and I can’t imagine feeling that way about anyone else.”

It didn’t slip past me that there was no mention of changing his relationship status. So, I didn’t respond. 6am this morning the next text :” I just wanted to tell you I love you”. I didn’t respond. I was walking across campus and saw him and the GF, not holding hands or in an embrace, but together none the less. I looked at him, looked away, kept walking. My emotional girl brain wants to text :”got your text this morning the I just wanted to tell you I love you one. Didn’t get the second half of it though, that said and ill be with the girl I love more when you come by.” Of course I didn’t text anything. I’m resigned to the fact this is not going to end with me getting what I want, but do you have any insight into his man brain and how NC is going to play out in his head. I know your not a mind reader. Guys are so confusing. We really were good together.
admin

October 31, 2013 at 8:36 pm

Haha that is what I am going to write about next.

Lanie

October 30, 2013 at 6:39 pm

I feel like mine is pretty long. :/ I’ll try to shorten it. This summer I met Levi, and we started talking. Kind of started dating pretty quickly. I’m 19 and he’s 17. :/ In July, he tried to tell me he didn’t know what he wants, so I ignored him for a week, then he wanted me back. In August, he broke up with me. Said he didn’t want a relationship right now, and a whole bunch of other excuses.. basically, for 6 weeks he told me he loved me but didn’t want a relationship “right now”. I was afraid I was on his hook until someone else came along..

I don’t know what to think of it, because I know he’s a sweet guy, but I guess I didn’t let him break up with me? As my friend put it. So he was torn and confused, then he said a bunch of awful things to me to get me to go away. 🙁 A few days after he finally ended it, he told me he got a new girlfriend (new in town) and he’s “happy” with her. Pretty much blamed me for a lot of crap, they were just excuses… I get that he’s immature and everything. I didn’t do much of anything right either.

I don’t want to think of it as black and white, that he doesn’t care about me. Well last week he applied where I work. He’s been hanging out there a lot, with a friend that works with me, before they clock on. He didn’t used to do that. Now he’s trying to get a job there… it freaks me out. Apparently it’s really easy to get a job there so it’s his best bet. I still love him and miss him (it’s been two weeks since we broke up/since I’ve talked to him) and yet I act like I don’t even see him. I tend to trash him to my friend, I guess because I don’t want to pine over him if he’s with somebody else. 🙁

He told my friend that he didn’t want it to end the way it did with me and that he wished he could come up and say hi to me at work or something. I won’t look too much into that because he acts like I’m not there. He won’t go near me either. I don’t know what it means. Yesterday his friend told me that HE said to “stay away” from his girlfriend. I said I don’t even know who she is, what’s up with that? Apparently his girlfriend told them that I messaged her on Facebook… she’s trying to start stuff. I hope he’ll see right through her (I showed his friend my message history: nothing’s there). I was told that she can’t see him outside of school, or not very much at least.

It kind of hurt to think that he’d rather be with someone he just met that he can’t even spend time with, than me. 🙁 I know he’s young and wants something new. I hope that sometime soon he’ll miss me. I just want to speed it up.

What do I do?

admin

October 30, 2013 at 10:07 pm

I understand what you are feeling believe me I do.

Being 17 is a crazy time.

Me at 17…. hahahahaha oh I was not ready for any type of relationship. Be patient. Try out NC.
Lanie

October 31, 2013 at 3:05 pm

The last day I talked to him, he said he was “neutral in all of this”. Before he told me about the rebound girl. She has to be a rebound right??
The day after, he took his friend’s phone and pretended to be them… said to leave him alone.

I don’t know if he got a new phone, I don’t know if he got a new number; either way, I’d bet he wouldn’t keep my number cause his old phone got smashed. I’m not trying to talk to him right now but I’m just really afraid that he won’t come to me somehow. I feel like I should do something but I don’t want to screw it up even more.

Because I had begged, pleaded, guilted… I showed up, I bought him a present (I thought we were back together to be honest). I didn’t leave him alone. Now I’m trying to. D: Thanks for your feedback.
Lanie

November 2, 2013 at 7:53 pm

Now he got the job where I work.. I briefly talked to him about it. Then when I was talking to his friend that I work with, he typed a message in her phone and showed it to her, then went to the other side of the building. :/

I told her it felt weird to talk to him (cause we’re not together..). She said he told her the same thing and that’s what the phone message was about.

Has he really moved on? My friends tell me that the new girl isn’t a rebound. They got together five days after we broke up, he didn’t know she existed till 3 weeks ago. :/

I don’t know what to think and now he works with me. 🙁
admin

November 3, 2013 at 5:10 pm

It certainly seems like a rebound to me…. Just give it time they will flame out.

HotLilTeacher

October 29, 2013 at 8:22 pm

Holy crap! He told me he misses me and has since we broke up. He wanted to see me. What do I do now? No mention of getting back together. I am treading lightly since this could just be that he is lonely.

admin

October 30, 2013 at 4:08 am

Well take things really slow but I think you should set up a date.
HotLilTeacher

October 30, 2013 at 7:57 pm

Well we sort of had a date. He invited me over. We talked. We kissed. He said all kinds of sweet things. Things started to get a little too intimate so I went home. I did NOT want to go there. 🙂 He said he doesn’t blame me, he can’t promise anything. So was this just about him feeling lonely? Sex?
admin

October 30, 2013 at 10:10 pm

Well, time will tell. See how he reacts after the situation to know his true intentions.
HotLilTeacher

October 31, 2013 at 12:52 am

I invited him over for dinner. He said “sorry. Its too cold” Not good!
admin

October 31, 2013 at 7:28 pm

Hahah really “its too cold”

Lamest line ever.

Well, he wasn’t ready for that yet but now you know and can adapt to that. Who knows, maybe it was too cold.

TD

October 28, 2013 at 9:49 pm

Hi Chris!

Thanks for the great guide! I’ve read almost all of your guides and I have to say that they have really helped me stay positive and on track about my emotions recently.

My boyfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me about a month and a half ago. We are both 20 and in the middle of school. Right now, I’m on a work term in a different city while he is in school but we will be in the same city (and both in school) again in January. He broke up with me because he said that he isn’t in love with me anymore but he still “loves me and cares about me”. He is also really busy with school and extracurriculars and such which I understand, but we made it work before. He also mentioned that he doesn’t think our personalities “would work out long term” (sorry, but I thought almost 2 years was long term but okay) because of the way his parents split up (I’m like his mom, he’s like his dad, therefore he thinks that we won’t work out). He really wants me in his life still because we were literally best friends, and eachother’s rocks through the adapting to university thing. But I don’t think I can just be friends with him.

Anyways, I just started NC again and I’m on day 4. The problem is that I don’t think that he really has time to think about missing me. He is always on the go. But he always like all of my pictures and statuses on Facebook (I think he is just trying to be my friend doing that), and added me on snapchat and instagram since he got a new phone. Basically it’s like he is surrounding me… I’m just nervous that even with 30 days of NC he won’t try to contact me because he’s so busy, or he won’t even think about me at all. I just don’t know if he will really miss me. I know that I can live without him there, I mean we were mostly long distance for a lot of our relationship because of co-op in my program, but we always made it work. He also said that he wants to move on from all of this… I just don’t know what to do. Is there even any hope?

Do you have any advice on what to do in the mean time? How can I remind him of his old feelings if he is as busy as he is? Also I’m going to be visiting friends at school this weekend and I’m nervous that I’m going to run into him… Any tips on what to do if I do run into him?

Thank you so much again, your website has basically given me sanity for the last few weeks!

admin

October 29, 2013 at 3:06 am

My best advice is to just implement the stuff I talk about on the website haha. Not exactly the best advice for you personally but there is just so much to say and I really can’t fit it into a comment. Remember this site is still very young but slowly by slowly I hope to cover EVERYTHING!

Rose

October 28, 2013 at 7:41 pm

Hey….

Basically me and my boyfriend met when I was 16 and he was 18. Young love happened and we were together for just over three years, we had our ups and downs like every other couple in the world not MAJOR problems just immaturity I guess. About 8 months ago I got a new job with the help of his mum in a bank… It was okay good money etc but it just wasn’t for me at all. I stuck it out for 6 months in the hope of getting a mortgage with my boyfriend and we were going to move in together, as it got to the end of my probation it was looking like they had to extend it as I wasn’t doing too well at the job… My heart wasn’t in it. I panicked and literally made a decision in a week that I was going to quit an start UNi in my home town. 2 days after I quit my job and the week before I starts UNi he tells me COMPLETELY out of nowhere that he doesn’t want a house with me as we are too young and that he also needs space. The last few weeks leading up to this break I was constantly going on about the mortgage and money and stuff as I was starting UNi he knew I would not be paying towards the house, ( he ha a very good job so he doesn’t need me to contribute anyway) but he never seemed “pro active” about getting the house it was always me who sorted all the mortgage appointments out an the house viewings which we did the weekend before he said this. I asked him on 3 occasions “if you do not want to do this please tell me I don’t want to push you into it if you don’t want it” and he always told me that he did so I kept on with it.

So anyway 6 weeks ago he says this to me, he’s crying his eyes out we met up the next day and he’s started crying as soon as I got in the car. He is adamant that there is nobody else. He doesn’t want anybody else. He doesn’t want to see anybody else, he just wants space, he doesn’t want me to find anyone else, naturally I was gutted I was devastated for weeks as I didn’t get it at all? I thought maybe he’s just had a freight? And he will come round… He didn’t want to do no contact so at first we tried to chit chat abit… I rang him and told him that it was messing with my head we’ve been together for 3 years we don’t chit chat! So since then we have been doing no contact.., except I sent this text as I felt that in our relationship I was very demanding for things… He have me money every month as I was constantly driving round and it cost me a fortune he lived part of the week on his own near Liverpool and I live 1.5 hours away when he was at home he lived 10 miles away from me my work was 13 miles away he basically just helped with my petrol. Anyway this is what I wrote to him

I know you’ve said that it’s not me, it’s you. And it’s you that needs the space and what not… But I really feel that I need to apologise for being such an ungrateful bitch. All those things you did for me and I still wanted more, I’m so sorry. I’ve been reflecting on things recently and I can’t believe I was asking for more money, a car, a house etc it’s ridicules. And I am really and truly am so so sorry. I realise that I was starting to take you for granted, please do inot think that I am a money grabber because I loved you back when you were 18 and earning very little and we shared that tiny bed, I love you, and I would still love you if you worked in an office or broke your leg tomorrow and could never play again, I’m so sorry and if in the end we stay together i promise that things would be completely different in that way. Please don’t reply to this, have your space, but please don’t forget our memories, I love you very very much x

His reply which was literally straight after was

Thanks rose :)I love you take care x

This was 3 weeks ago. I haven’t contacted him since.

He texted me last Saturday on my birthday saying
Happy birthday rose, have a good day, missing you a lot xxx
He also sent me a birthday card, nothing special it just said “happy birthday hope you have a good day, lots of love c xxx”

I didn’t say Thankyou for the card or reply to the text. This was last Saturday.

The last time I spoke to him on the phone was 4 weeks ago. He basically said that he loves me he misses me and he’s finding it hard. He doesn’t want anybody else he doesn’t want me to have anybody else… Yet he just want to be on his own right now. We are 20 and 21 now, I was his first proper girlfriend and his first love. I had a gut feeling this was going to happen when we first got together, but i was 16 and young and I love I just went with it… So I haven’t contacted him for 3 weeks now… And I’m missing him and still love him like crazy! I’ve unfollowed him and all his friends and family on twitter I don’t look on his page it doesn’t interest me I don’t want to know what he’s doing. They all still follow me. This week was the first time since he break started that I’ve been tweeting. Just pictures of me going out and looking nice oh and I mentioned I have a new job! (Which I do) I don’t know what to think. I know I should think he’s not coming back so thT I can get over him but if I didn’t have this hope I don’t think I could get up in the morning. I went on a date last week, the guy was lovely nothing wrong wih him… But he whole time I was there I just thought… Your great but your just not him!….

I want him back so bad 🙁 I love him x

Help me x

vanessa

October 30, 2013 at 3:18 pm

Hi…im just worrying because its been two months after our break up,one month of it,i reached out to him and another month was a no contact rule..im worrying if he still thinking of me and if he will still take me back after oir break up..and by the way,the reason of our break up was he discovered that i had an affair to other man..and this man himself sent our pictures to my boyfriend..i explained to him and i told him that it was before..and now its really really over..but he dont believe.
admin

October 30, 2013 at 9:55 pm

Well, you need to do more than reaching out to him. You need to start building rapport with him.
Rose

October 29, 2013 at 8:04 am

Yes last time I sent a text was 06/10/13 he wished me happy birthday on 19/10/13… I haven’t replied x
admin

October 29, 2013 at 2:51 am

Well this was certainly… long hahahaha

Question: Have you started a NC rule yet?

Angie

October 27, 2013 at 9:14 pm

I met this guy at a cook out at my cousins house almost 6 weeks ago. It’s my cousins boyfriends best friend & they both had nothing but good things to say about him. I am 8 years older than him. I am 33 & he is 25. I have never dated a younger man, but he has 2 kids & has been married before & experienced life, so he is really mature for his age. We hit it off the 1st night. The attraction was intense & immediate & we even ended the night with a very nice kiss. I should probably add that I had just gotten out of a 15 year relationship/marriage a few months prior to this meeting & was not looking for ANYTHING when we met. I wasn’t even looking for a friend with benefits type relationship. At the same time though, I wasn’t totally opposed to the idea if the right guy came along. After the 1st night & exchanging #’s, he initiated ALL contact & meetings from that point on. Our 1st date was a 13 hour long date. Throughout this 6 weeks, we have hung out 8 or 9 times, all of which he asked for. He travels for work, so our time together is limited, but he always managed to find time for me anyway despite his busy schedule. Every time we would have dinner, he would pay. I offered, but he refused to let me even pay for myself. We’ve had a couple of serious conversations, all of which pulled me closer & closer to him. He would tell me things like I blind sighted him & that he hasn’t felt as much connection & attraction to anyone as much as he does me since his wife. Told me I was unique, interesting & funny & that I gave him butterflies every time he was around me. He really liked my goofy personality & told me it turns him on how I am always myself no matter what. He always had a smile on his face when we were together as he told me that he couldn’t help it cause I just make him smile. He told me that he was scared & that our relationship (for lack of a better word) didn’t seem like real life because it was happening so fast & that our connection was undeniable…but that he was willing to face his fears head on for me. He texted me all day everyday. Even called me several times for no reason other than to talk. He told me he was worried he was a rebound & I assured him he wasn’t. If I was ever in a bad mood (had nothing to do with him at all), he would worry that I was having strange thoughts about him & that I was gonna tell him to hit the road. He was constantly asking me if everything was ok. I shared with him a tad about what I had been through with my ex but mostly avoided talking about the ex at all. I shared with him my fears of getting hurt & he assured me that he wasn’t going to hurt me & said he wasn’t going anywhere. He also asked me if he could prove me wrong about my perception of men which is all men are jerks. No offense. 🙂 I waited 3 weeks to have sex with him, which is not a long time, but I just felt comfortable & began to gain trust for him, so it felt right. I was worried that sex would change things, but surprisingly, it didn’t at all. He still contined to call or text me everyday & say all of the sweet things he had always said prior. Now here’s the kicker. Being a female, I started to fall for him. No, I was not ready to walk down the isle, but I felt ready to actually call him my boyfriend. I have read numerous blogs about not initiating the “exclusive talk” for at least 3 months, but he always told me to share with him anything that was on my mind. I was worried that sharing my thoughts would cause him to run for the hills, so I kept most of my feelings & thoughts to myself. Well….I did until Tuesday. He had always said prior that the only way he would run for the hills is if I went with him, so I decided to call him Tuesday & tell him what I was feeling. Immediately, without pause, he said he wasn’t ready for anything serious. I kind of pulled back & made it sound like I wasn’t either, but I guess I had already said too much. He texted me Wednesday & basically told me that he couldn’t stop thinking about our convo & that he didn’t want to see me get hurt down the road on the count of him & that he was not ready for a relationship soon at all. I asked him if it was me or if he just wasn’t ready for a relationship with anyone & of course, he said he was not ready with anyone. I told him that I couldn’t change his mind & that I would have to accept it. I handled it with grace even though I was angry & hurt. I sent the last text & ended it with a ? asking him what was he saying. Basically asking him if he just didn’t want to talk anymore at all, & he never responded to it. I have not contacted him since then & he has not contacted me either. I’m pretty stubborn, so I don’t plan on contacting him either. It’s been 4 days now since I’ve heard from him. 🙁 My question is, why would he say all of that & do all that he did as far as initiating everything if he wasn’t ready for a relationship? I pay a lot of attention to a persons actions & his actions always matched his words, which always impressed me. We are still friends on Facebook & I have made it a point to post fun but classy pics of me out having a good time with friends, both male & female, in hopes that he will see that I am not sitting on the couch crying. I am hurting inside though & I really miss him. My smiles are fake at this point. I know that 6 weeks is nothing, but is it possible that he misses me too? Is it possible that he just got scared? I am tired of talking to females about this because they are just as clueless as I am. My friends, who are self proclaimed man haters, were even impressed by him when they met him. Oh….& just last week, I introduced him to my 10 year old daughter & the 3 of us went & had dinner together. He was perfectly fine with meeting her. I had met a few of his friends from work, but I have not met his kids or his family. Other than my daughter, he hasn’t met my family either. I am aware things moved fast, but is 6 weeks even enough time for a man to catch feelings? Any thoughts you might have to help me would be greatly appreciated. Thanks 🙂

admin

October 27, 2013 at 11:10 pm

Self proclaimed man haters hahahaha. Already I am scared of them.

Do you think that he has a fear of commitment? What has his previous dating history said?
Angie

October 27, 2013 at 11:39 pm

Thank you for your response. I don’t really know what to think about his fears. I’m really confused. I was kind of hoping to get a man’s perspective on the situation. Lol. He’s only 25 years old & he has a 4 year old & a 5 year old & he was married to their mom. They have been split for almost 2 years. He told me several times that during that 2 years, he has of course talked to other girls, but none held his interest. He said none of them were even an option to get serious with until he met me. He told me I blind sighted him & that he found himself constantly wanting to text me & talk to me & be around me which he said was unusual for him. I guess that’s why I am so confused because a relationship was discussed, just not in depth. He didn’t seem scared to me, but what do I know? All the way up until Tuesday, he seemed like he was on the same page as me until I mentioned that I was ready for more, then he “ran for the hills”, just like he said he wouldn’t do. I met my now ex husband a month after I turned 18 years old. Married him at 20 & stayed with him for right at 15 years. I have no dating experience at all. Any thoughts are very much appreciated. 🙂
admin

October 29, 2013 at 1:46 am

Ok, well let me ask you this. What is your gut telling you about him?
Angie

October 30, 2013 at 1:46 am

Well….I replied to you & have been checking periodically for an answer from you & now I am noticing that my reply has been removed. Boo! 🙁
admin

October 30, 2013 at 4:17 am

What? Where thats not supposed to happen?
Angie

October 29, 2013 at 4:30 am

My gut is telling me that he was for real & that he really did care & like me. He invested too much time, money & energy over the course of 6 weeks for me to believe otherwise. He was very consistent with his actions & words & he made time for me without me asking him to despite his hectic schedule. He either got freaked out with how fast things were progressing & but the breaks on or he really just doesn’t believe that he is ready for a relationship like he said. Idk? My hope is that he will miss me & come back, but beings that we weren’t really “together” in the first place, that’s probably just wishful thinking. 🙁
admin

October 30, 2013 at 3:43 am

I always say go with your gut b/c you know your situation better than I ever will.

Though there is probably some truth to the fast trajectory of the relationship as you alluded to.

tayo

October 27, 2013 at 7:56 pm

Am confused its been a week since he broke up with me. and has contacted me still,I don’t want to call nor even text him so he won’t think am cheap or desperate,i still love him

admin

October 27, 2013 at 11:06 pm

That is why you do the NC rule.

Anon

October 27, 2013 at 4:55 pm

I split up with my ex officially last weekend. We had been together only 4 months but the first 3 he was absolutely besotted with me do much do he asked me to move in after 2 months. He works away do would only be back on weekends. A month after I moved in he started calling less and less and just became a totally different person. No more I love you 100 times a day or telling me he couldn’t wait to see me. He decided to end things by not answering the phone for a whole 2 weeks. I was still living in his house at this point. He eventually sent a text saying all he wants now is a good season shooting and his dogs and he wants to be on his own. Such a huge change of character. I went to get rest of my things last wkend and we slept together. Silly move I know and I haven’t heard from him since. I can’t understand how someone can be so smitten and then just cut all contact. I’m thinking maybe he got scared and slammed on the breaks but I’m
Currently using no contact to hopefully make him miss me and see he has made a massive mistake. Am
I wasting my time? Im also still paying for some things for the house and he hasn’t even contacted me about this. Should I contact him just about the bills ? I’m driving myself insane and no contact is killing me.

admin

October 27, 2013 at 11:02 pm

You are not wasting your time. In fact, i think you are being really smart about it!

Though if financial problems are involved I would sort them out.
Anon

October 28, 2013 at 10:15 am

Ok. I’m on day 8 of no contact but I’m going to wait until 20th of November until I contact him about anything. The money can wait. I think he needs time in the house without me there to see what a good thing he had. He no longer has any nice meals cooked for him or company to watch tv etc.
I’ve started running 3 times a week to try and get in good shape.
Do you think the situation with him is a typical situation of someone who may have rushed into things and needs space? This is the impression I’m getting and this is why I’m really trying to get through the 30 days. Hope this works.
admin

October 29, 2013 at 2:23 am

Contrats on getting through a week.

It does seem like it is a situation like that to me.
Anon

October 31, 2013 at 9:14 pm

Thanks Chris. I’m on day 11 now and I’ve almost cracked but held back. Will keep you posted. Im not feeling very confident though. Can’t see him even giving me a second thought. Suppose I’ll have to watch this space :-/
admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:16 pm

Sorry you are not confident. I have a post coming up thats all about men during NC so hold out for a little longer so you can read that haha.
Anon

November 4, 2013 at 4:22 pm

I text him today to ask about the money he owes me for a bill. Didn’t mention anything else. No reply. I tried to call
His phone and it’s off. Apparently it has been off for days so a mutual friend tells me. Find this a bit strange, seems like he doesn’t want to hear from anybody. Either that or he has a different number which i doubt. Find this behaviour really strange. As your a man do you have any idea why he feels the need to switch himself off from everything? His Facebook account has been deactivated for weeks too.
admin

November 4, 2013 at 6:31 pm

Give it some time.. call again tomorrow if he doesn’t pick up then you may have to get serious and get someone else involved b/c he does owe you that money.
Anon

November 6, 2013 at 10:25 pm

His phone is still off. He has told friends his phone is broke and he doesn’t need a phone. His Facebook had been deactivated for weeks. The only way I can contact him is by going to see him. I’m going up leave it until the end of 30 days and then I will go and see him. Cause he has his phone off it kind of makes me feel all Of this effort I have made with no contact has been for nothing. I still feel he has control. On the other hand I think maybe he must be affected by the break up for him to cut himself off from absolutely everyone?! This doesn’t seem to be getting easier and I still think of him constantly. I’ve asked friends and nobody seems to have any answers cause his behaviour has been so strange.
admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:37 pm

Just keep doing what you are doing! Its not supposed to be easy FYI. If it was everyone would succeed.

Emma

October 27, 2013 at 3:18 pm

Hey!
I facebook messages you and I haven’t talk to him for about two in a half weeks and I see him thru out school and sometimes I catch him looking at me what does that mean?

admin

October 27, 2013 at 10:55 pm

It means he is keeping an eye on you:)

Susannah

October 26, 2013 at 3:00 pm

Yes I have his email. In ur personal opinion Chris why do u think he would block me? We broke up on 24th September it’s his birthday on the 28th October and I have sent him a card. All I put in it was hope u have a good a birthday as last year. I didn’t put love Suzanne or any xx’s do u think that’s ok?

admin

October 26, 2013 at 6:05 pm

I will answer that question with another question.

To him are you the “biggest and best deal” out there?

Men always look for the best deal when they date women. Are other women better than you for him or do you think you can be the best?
Susannah

October 26, 2013 at 10:51 pm

That’s a tough question I would like to think I am. I know I made him a better person. And that’s not my ego saying it they where his actual words. I made him happy his words also and it made me happy to know he was happy.
What do u think about the blocking situation?
admin

October 27, 2013 at 10:18 pm

Sorry I forgot the context, blocking situation?

Oh, you mean him blocking your number. Maybe it just hurts him to talk to you right now?
Susannah

October 27, 2013 at 11:13 pm

Yea that’s what I thought it could be. I’ve sent the card and just guna leave it to fate. Hopefully he won’t leave it too long to realise. I don’t want to move on right now but am just guna get on with my life. Whatever happens happens. Thanks for ur help Chris u deserve a medal it a kiss hehe!!
admin

October 29, 2013 at 1:45 am

Hahaha well stay in touch!

jeena

October 26, 2013 at 7:20 am

nothing is really working what should I do?? im getting irritated day by day
jeena

October 26, 2013 at 7:19 am

i have been trying the no contact idea that you suggested me..nothing is really working I feel…he hardly bothers about me ..on the other hand im getting frustrated..i love him madly but at the same time im angry on the part that he told my sister ,even I want to complain about how he cheated me at his place..but .im confused.shall I talk to his parents on how he harassed me???

Ana Santos

October 27, 2013 at 5:13 am

We broke up last week, he keeps showing up at soccer now, which before he hardly used to. He told my friend to say he was my boyfriend (a bbm broadcast), but he doesn’t contact me. However we did talk yesterday and he sent a beijao (in english a kiss)and said would contact me bk. Never did, what does that mean?
admin

October 27, 2013 at 10:24 pm

Sounds like a very jealous indidvidual to me.
admin

October 26, 2013 at 5:58 pm

NOOO you are too emtional. Please understand that you are going to dig yourself in a deeper hole the more emotional you get. YOU need to stop getting so emmotional. Please trust me on this.
jeena

October 27, 2013 at 5:27 am

admin ,
I truly love him..but he harassed me mentally ,insulted and used me for his study purposes..but inspite of everything I still love him..will he come back to me? incase he comes back – should I accept him???
admin

October 27, 2013 at 10:23 pm

Haha the name is Chris you can call me Chris!

I can’t tell you if he will come back or not I am not a mind reader all I can do is help you improve your chances to make that happen.
jeena

October 27, 2013 at 5:32 am

what should I do so that he looks at me???pays attention to me???

Visitor

October 25, 2013 at 7:03 pm

I read these things, when I’m thinking about him, say, mm once a week now. The feelings and emotions are lifting, leaving.
I run, exercise, study, community work, all kinds of things, not to stay busy, but to keep me well and moving forward.
I’m all I have and that’s ok. I’m my best example of myself, not my relationships, they reflect though, what needs to be worked on. Not that I’m waiting to be perfect for any Mr. Perfect. Actually quite the opposite. I have finally relinquished my need to please, to be what “they” wanted me to be. That is my greatest lesson.
That was a sad revelation, but one well fought and finally won. I no long need anyone to validate me. I don’t need a HIM to complete me.
If he never shows up, that too is fine.
I want a wonderful, exciting, wow existence. Alone, I think not, I have people all around me.

admin

October 26, 2013 at 5:37 pm

Your attitude is golden. Can I give it to everyone?
visitor

November 6, 2013 at 10:21 pm

I have a credo on my fringe. There is a line in that credo.
“I will always spread heaps of love, it is my number one top nonperishable item of my vastness”

So ya, give it to everyone.
and also “trust yourself wisely, carry your wisdom on your sleeve”
admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:36 pm

Hahaha SWEET! I have sweet one liners now.

Kamilla

October 25, 2013 at 3:42 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up because I don’t have good grades and I’m not doing so well, I miss him a lot honestly and it’s so hard for me because he is my neighbor like I can’t even go outside my house without him being out side and when we broke up he wanted to be friends. I said you just can’t go from lovers to friends and well we aren’t talking anymore but I miss him so much and I want him back but it seems like he is falling for another girl at school.

admin

October 26, 2013 at 5:28 pm

….. why in the world would he break up with you for YOUR grades? That is really NONE of his business.

Gabrielle

October 25, 2013 at 7:30 am

Hi. My boyfriend and I have been on again/off again for about 2 years. We were friends before that for about 2 years, and our friendship actually began in an intimate way, but then we just took time to get to know one another. Recently, things had been once again coming to a head, meaning we were having lots of missed communications, and difficuot conversations, leaving me feeling very confused. After a particularly awkward talk, he left my house in a huff, and I gave it a few days, and then I sent a light text, sharing a certificate that I finally recieved in the mail I’d been working on for a year. No response. This hurt me, but I just left it alone for another couple days. I then called to see if he wanted to hang out. No response. Another few days, I finally sent a text asking if he was alright. He sent back, “ok, congrats on certificate.” After that, nothing for another day. I felt like he was just checking out, and it really hurt me. Well, to really complicate things, his birthday was coming, and he was pretty much giving me the silent treatment. I really wanted to do something special for him, but honestly didn’t feel like I could be sure he’d even want to spend it with me. The day came and I texted him “happy birthday, I love you.” He said, “thanks, love you too.” After that, I didn’t do anything. A few days later, it was killling me, I felt guilty, and had a crazy lady moment and just showed up at his house. (Terrible idea.) This ended terribly, and then once again, the silence began. I finally called a few days later and apologized for just showing up, and he didn’t respond for a week, and hen he did it was very cold, saying that he was very busy and very stressed and didn’t need more. I was really not sure what to do, I mean we had so little communication, we hadn’t officially broken up, I was confused to say the least. I then took a week to get back to him. He then called me and said he was tired of the stress and hung up on me. I was super sad, and he texted later apologizing and expressing how sad he was that things hadgotten so disconnected, and that he was hurt about his birthday. I ddidn’t even know what to say, but I responded saying I was sorry. A few days later I asked to talk. We finallydid, and decided things had gotten totally screwed up, and they weren’t working. I left sad. The next day he wanted to come try to talk again. He told me that he loved me, but that things were super stressful, and he just couldn’t handle it. I ended up crying, he left feeling real sad too. He texted me later asking if I was ok. When I responded, he never said another word. I know this all sounds rediculous, and I can’t believe that we are both inour 30’s, and acting like teenagers. Truth is, we have a really honest, and real connection. We have always been faithful, and things seem to go really well for a while, and right when we begin to get comfortable is when he pulls back, then I get insecure, and try to hold on tighter. Ahhhhhhhh, I wonder if there is any hope, he tells me that I mean a lot to him, and he wants me in his life, but it is very stressful to never feel like I know where it is going. Can you make any sense of this? I sometimes feel like we are both two scared animals trying to love eachother. 🙁

admin

October 26, 2013 at 5:17 pm

Love is scary. There is no shame in admitting that.

What have you done thus far? NC?

Clare

October 25, 2013 at 5:01 am

Hi
Met this guy through a friend and our first 3 meetings where friendly. Later we just started dating and it’s been 2 months. During this period I was the one to initiate contact like calling, texting and I planned dates for us. Never had sex together but kiss once and gave him blow job twice. He says he loves me but is too macho to initiate contact and will like me to continue to contact him. The only time he decided for us to spend time together, he bailed on me . When I called him he said he was at a friends birthday party and that he was sorry and will call me later . he didn’t . I didn’t call nor texted for 3days and when I did text, all he could say was he lovedd me. No sorry for bailing on me. I just let it go and fixed another rendez-vous with him. I tried to talk to him about the situation, he just shutdown. I left him that night feelings dissatisfied and confused. Got home texted him and told him how I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of the relationship and told him want I wante from a guy. I think he took it for breakup and he texted saying he heard me and hasn’t texted again. It’s been 4 days . should I just ignore him and go on with the breakup or should I call him or do the NC thing. I miss him sooo much it hurts

admin

October 26, 2013 at 5:09 pm

Do the NC! hahaha.

kristal hederson

October 25, 2013 at 1:41 am

what if i dont know my ex`s emotions
Poppy

October 24, 2013 at 6:43 pm

So this is a pretty long and, frankly, lame story. I’m a catholic, he was a smoker in foster care. He is very intelligent but chooses not to use it, I am relatively (not cocky just an important part) intelligent as well. We met in top set. I really like him he really like me. We started going out. My dad works at te school we are at. Had to keep it secret because he’s not exactly your perfect catholic. Loved beig with him, hated hiding it. I broke up with him. I want him back. We are in contact but I don’t know how I can tell him. Oh and one slightly I portent hit of info. He is seeing someone. Thanks

admin

October 24, 2013 at 8:24 pm

Have you tried a NC rule yet?

Emma

October 24, 2013 at 4:36 am

I messages you in Facebook more on my situation!!

admin

October 24, 2013 at 7:55 pm

I will get to it later today!

Sheryl

October 23, 2013 at 10:21 pm

your articles are very helpful and you are providing a great service to those of us that want our ex back and going though a breakup. i forgot to say thank you. thanks chris.

admin

October 24, 2013 at 7:28 pm

Thanks for the kind words!

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