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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The Ungettable Girl
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The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
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Post categories
Nina
October 23, 2013 at 7:43 pm
Hi, I’m Nina and my boyfriend of four years and I broke up yesterday afternoon we talked about it and in a way “worked things out”? but not really because today we decided we were going to take a three week break because he felt like we were arguing too much lately. We said that after a few weeks when he was ready again we would give it another shot but next week we’re going to a concert together and we won’t be seeing each other until then and we’ll only text to say “Good morning” “Goodnight” and let each other know when we got to work and home safely. I feel like even though he claims he still loves me and wants us to get past this that he won’t want to get back together what can I do?
admin
October 24, 2013 at 7:20 pm
Well look at his actions. What are his actions saying?
faustina
October 23, 2013 at 12:29 pm
I had a breakup just yesterday and i was really crying my ass out …..but reading all these tatics i think i know what to do .
admin
October 23, 2013 at 10:22 pm
Glad to be able to help!
Cass
October 23, 2013 at 12:10 pm
Hey:
In the middle of August my boyfriend and broke up after 3 years. The reason we broke up was because my ex said his feelings have changed towards me and I felt that because of that our relationship was over so we both agreed to just end things. For about a month after the breakup we still hung out and even went away for a weekend. However after that weekend away my ex still said he couldn’t be with me and said it was because his life and head are too messed up and doesn’t want to bring anyone into that. I told him I had been dealing with it for 3 years and if I didn’t want to deal with his messed up life I would of walked away ages ago. After that conversation I asked him to leave and we agreed to come back in about a month and talk. So it got to week 3 and I was cleaning my house and whilst doing it found some of his belongings so I packed them up and dropped them at his front door (no one saw me do this). The next day I get a text from him asking me to call him in regards to money he owes me. Stupid me called him and we were talking to each other nicely, he asked me what I had been doing and once again I messed up and told him I had been hanging out with a mate (my ex knows him). My ex than asked if me and the mate were together and I said no not really we are just hanging out as mates, my ex than got upset and said that he did miss me but nothing matters anymore because I have our mate. My ex got quite emotional on the phone and had to keep putting the phone down to stop himself crying (he told me this). I asked my ex to bring my belongings over the next day and collect the rest of his things to which he agreed. The next day he comes over and first thing he says to me was how beautiful I looked (hasn’t seen me for over 3 weeks). We than chatted and had dinner together and he told me that he missed me and that he went out the other night and a girl tried to hook up with him but he said no. I asked him why he said no and he said because I am the only girl he wants. I told him I missed him too but the door to us getting back together is pretty much shut now. He explained that he was going to come back to me but when he found out that I had been hanging out with a guy that changed his feelings for me again and that knowing that I could move on so quickly was doing his head in. He also said that he couldn’t be with me because his life is so messed up and he doesn’t want to make anyone deal with that. I reminded him that I was willing to be there for him whilst he sorted is life out. I explained to him that my mate and me were just hanging out and there was nothing sexual he said it didn’t matter that just the thought of me moving on has upset him. I also said that if we were meant to be broken up for good than we wouldn’t keep coming back to each other. He agreed to that and said that maybe we are meant to be. He said that he doesn’t want the door shut on our relationship and wants to give it a couple more weeks of limited texting and not seeing each other. I feel that because he got the wrong idea about my mate and I hanging out that I have ruined every chance of ever getting back with him. All this happened 5 days ago and I haven’t had any contact with him. I just want him back I wish he would listen when I tell him that there is nothing going on with me and my mate.
admin
October 23, 2013 at 10:17 pm
Lets just calm down and take a deep breath.
Right now my question to you is have you started a NC rule?
Cass
October 24, 2013 at 4:16 am
I did nc for 3 weeks than I called him when he asked. I started nc again 5 days ago. Just worried because we are meant to be meeting in two weeks to see what will happen between us. However I am going to do the right thing and keep doing nc for the full 30 days.
admin
October 24, 2013 at 7:53 pm
Good for you! Definitely think that is the right decision.
aneela
October 23, 2013 at 10:32 am
My ex broke up with me after 8 months being together. I was so deeply in love and despite me making most of effort I genuinely feel he felt skmething too, he always told me he loved me. There was ongoing issues about his ‘mum’ being fussy , he seemed worried about her finding out about me. He broke up saying we are too different I know its not going to work bla bla. Hes mobed back abroad but will be back in few months. I didn’t handle breakup very well I lashed out went kinda crazy with messages why this why that etc. I I sent another message one month after breakup but nothing since then. I genuinely want him back I miss him cuz I love him. What do I do
admin
October 23, 2013 at 10:13 pm
No contact rule might be a good place to start…
aneela
October 23, 2013 at 9:02 pm
No sorry I mean I sent a message one week after, sort of hope your ok kind of text. But since then I just been giving him space. Now I havent messaged him in a month since breakup.
Skylerr
October 23, 2013 at 1:09 am
Hi I recently saw my friend downtown and immediately we were drawn to each other after that. Within two weeks I began dating him we were like the perfect couple seeing as though we were close friends. Soon after that we broke up not because of differences but because he had a lot on his plate –> college, track and field, work, and family problems. He just wanted a break from relationships but he still likes me. The problem is that he’s trying to let his feelings fade for me and he wants a break from me. What should I do?? I want to be with him. He’s an amazing guy. And I’m supportive of him. Not to mention his birthday is tomorrow. Should I even say anything or continue to not talk to him? It’s only been three days without talking.
admin
October 23, 2013 at 8:35 pm
Continue NC. I usually recommend 30 days without contact.
Lonely
October 23, 2013 at 1:02 am
My boyfriend and I got into a big fight – we’ve together for 7 years and often speak about getting engaged soon and getting married next summer.
We fight a lot because he likes to go out with friends on the weekends and it really bothers me. I shut down and will be mad for days whiles he tries to make things better. He started arguing and he told me to get out of the car and I was doing so, he told me “think what you’re going to do because if u leave, I am not going to look for you” I was mad and said “good! I will not look for you either”. Well, 6 days went by and I texted him – he never replied. I sent him another text the days after and he never replied either. I don’t want to seem like I am begging for his love or attention. What is going on through his head???
admin
October 23, 2013 at 8:35 pm
Well.. have you ever done a complete NC? 30 days I mean?
Lonely
October 23, 2013 at 10:02 pm
No, never!!! I always contact him so I guess he’s used to that.
This is the first time he’s actually ignored my messages. I’m tempted to call him but I do not want it to seem like I am begging for his love and attention. I am going on vacations soon and would like to fix things – I mean it’s 7 years!
admin
October 24, 2013 at 7:29 pm
Yea I definitely hear you but you need to guard against being perceived as needy.
aneela
October 22, 2013 at 8:41 pm
My ex broke up with me after 8 months being together. I was so deeply in love and despite me making most of effort I genuinely feel he felt skmething too, he always told me he loved me. There was ongoing issues about his ‘mum’ being fussy , he seemed worried about her finding out about me. He broke up saying we are too different I know its not going to work bla bla. Hes mobed back abroad but will be back in few months. I didn’t handle breakup very well I lashed out went kinda crazy with messages why this why that etc. I I sent another message one month after breakup but nothing since then. I genuinely want him back I miss him cuz I love him. What do I do
admin
October 23, 2013 at 8:20 pm
What was your text message like?
Jessica
October 22, 2013 at 2:11 am
Nope I haven’t….its been like 3 days since I noticed he unblocked me and I sent a text saing that I hope he’s doing good 🙂
Never got a response….he did read it… but didn’t say anything.
admin
October 22, 2013 at 10:27 pm
Ok, wait a bit longer before you reach out. At least a week again.
Sheryl
October 21, 2013 at 11:54 pm
I am using the NC rule…my problem is he doesnt have a fb page or cell phone…6 weeks… He started dating me 4 months after ending a fail marriage we were together for 9 months, we enjoyed each other but I could tell something wasnt right…was a rebound victim? Did he love me like he said…reason for the break up he said we were not compatible.During our relationship he opened up to me he told me he had never been able to open up to a woman like he could me.I like to travel, he didnt…he said he didnt want to change me… we talked about it that night, and the next day I called him and told him that I would come get my things. The day I went and got my things he called another girl and they are dating now…should I even try to contact him.
admin
October 22, 2013 at 2:38 am
What about email? Can you got him by email?
Sheryl
October 22, 2013 at 9:28 am
no email, no computer, no cell…
14
admin
October 23, 2013 at 7:33 pm
Man…. you are in a bad spot then :(.
I guess a letter as a last ditch effort but the success rate is really low with those.
Sheryl
October 23, 2013 at 9:48 pm
I know that and I am not going to write him a letter. I hope he realizes that he does love and is in love with me and his feelings for me are real and call. I am going to continue to work on myself, and continuing go out. I am not ready to see him with a new woman so I am avoiding going places I know he may be. I do not have my emotions under control so it best to stay away. If you think of anything I can do let me know.
admin
October 24, 2013 at 7:27 pm
Best thing at this point is to really keep the focus on YOU 😉
Sheryl
October 22, 2013 at 10:20 am
during the breakup, he got emotional, he start crying an he said this to me ” i love you, always will, but I am not in love with you”. You know what I heard..im done with you now, there is someone else and there was.
admin
October 23, 2013 at 7:40 pm
….. how can you love someone but not be in love with them?
I guess when I say I love you I put a lot of emphasis on that word so it means a lot to me.
Toya
October 21, 2013 at 8:26 pm
Hi chris I came across your site because I am so hurt..can you please help me, today would of marked 2years since my boyfriend and I have been toegether..we had our ups and downs but recently he moved to another island for work. Our relationship was going great he was over there for about four months now..he recently visited me last week sunday and we spent two days together..i went on his laptop to check my email and found out that he has been communicating inappropriately with another with another female that he works and he said he meant nothing by what he was saying to her and that he never slept with her and I instantly got upset and told him that I can never trust him again and I don’t want him to text me call me or email me, I was pretty upset..from that day to this I have been crying and I text him twice..he text me this morning reminding me about our ‘would of been” 2 year anniversary I send several text after that and he didn’t respond…he apologized for wat he has done and he said he is going to fight for our relationship but he hasn’t…why hasn’t he replied to my text…I miss him and want him back..what should I do.PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
admin
October 22, 2013 at 2:26 am
Well, NC is really a smart idea at this point.
Toya
October 23, 2013 at 2:11 am
He text me at 2am this morning and said that he misses me and that it is so hard without me..i haven’t replied even though I wanted to soooooooooo bad to tell him I miss him too..i hope this NC works I don’t want to lose him 🙁
admin
October 23, 2013 at 8:43 pm
It is already working!
Lisha
October 21, 2013 at 6:46 pm
I have been dating this guy for about 9 months I’m 34 he is 38 I met him when I got my tv’s mounted in my new home back on New Years Day 2013 we started dating we saw each other about 3-4x’s a week either I would come to him or he would come over my house we didn’t have sex for the first 90 days. Because of his work alot of things we do are late like movies or dinner occasionally we go to family gatherings like Easter mothers day, etc. I had surgery back in July cosmetic surgery and he took care of me stayed with me for 2 weeks until I recovered then we plan to go to the beach we wento the beach and we had a huge fight cause he said I have a smart mouth he left I stayed then I didn’t speak with him for like a month a did the NC rule plus I was really pissed. I emailed him maybe a month later and we hung out he came over we talked about what we had been doing since our fight then we started back like hanging more frequently but this time he more so came to me then me driving to him he even started coming to my sons football games last Friday while I was at work he came over to my home and put in some recess lights I was so happy when I got home I called him and said I wanted to see him later so when i went over to his home I noticed a pair of womens earrings then I notice a half bottle of wine he said he drinks it and he got it for me but he isn’t a big wine drinker so I knew the deal. I immeadiately got pissed cursed him out and said i’m done with you and your mind games. He then agreed and we haven’t spoken since. I’m confused cause I thought he finally realized how important I was to him he was going to be attending my company holiday party with me I mean I don’t know what to do I hurt but after the first argument I kinda distanced myself from him emotionally. Even though when we got back this last time he still told me he loved me after I would be the one to say it first. I wonder if it really was love. I don’t know if I am completely over him but he was the first guy I dated since my divorce and I took 2 years before dating after my divorce so I feel like that was more than enough time for me to heal from my ex husband but now I have to turn around and heal from this guy who I have been nothing but a sweetheart to. I don’t know what to do help
admin
October 22, 2013 at 2:21 am
Yea divorce can be really hurtful can’t they. Glad you waited and took it seriously though.
Your month of NC. Were there any breaks at all?
wallaa
October 21, 2013 at 6:01 pm
hey i am 30 years old girl i had one relationship it continued for a year he us a really good guy but in our country we have to think about marriage he hates the idea so i always was so clingy and pushy and nervous we had our good moments then i left him because i didn’t want him to hate me he called the next day i didn’t do ur rule i didn’t know about it i answered but i didn’t call him for a v long time then at my birthday he insisted to give me a birthday gift i went out with him and i took it i wanted to hug him badly but i acted cool before we leave each other i told him in a strange way he has to think and i am afraid to regret and i left before i get a response .after few days i was really express he called so i talked about my feelings how i am sad and why he didn’t make a move he answered that he miss me but he don’t want to marry may be forever so that’s better to us i miss him so much i know form all of my heart he is the one i want to ask him out what should i do to make him care again
admin
October 22, 2013 at 2:15 am
Have you read this article: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-definitive-guide-to-making-your-ex-boyfriend-love-you-again/
Kazza
October 21, 2013 at 5:52 pm
Ex bf broke up with me two months ago. 2 weeks NC to get my sh*t together then we had 4 more weeks of once weekly sports activities. He would text me here and there sporatically. I’d answer but not engage. After last game I thought I wouldn’t see/talk to him for awhile. Then a problem came up which he does as his job and I thought I’d ask him for advice to recommend someone who could help me. He recommended himself and now he is working with me. Everything has been done via e-mail, but I decided to take a leap and ask if he wanted to meet up for coffee or drink to go over the paperwork. He wasn’t able to the day I suggested, but said he’d like toget together in person and catch up and maybe next week (now this week). This is work that could have gotten done all remotely but he seems pretty willing to meet up. I plan on going into the meeting with no expectations and play it cool. I”ve made alot of improvements in myself and gotten my independence back. I’m hoping he sees this and sees me in a renewed light (clingyness was the problem). Any additional advice?
admin
October 22, 2013 at 2:11 am
Yea, have you had a chance to take a look at the ungettable girl article?
Lost & Alone
October 21, 2013 at 3:54 pm
I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months after catching him *for the second time* trying to hook up with an ex-gf on facebook.
The first time I caught him, he was apologetic and wanted a second chance. I said a second chance for what? To screw me over? I don’t think so!
A couple days of him telling me how sorry he was and how much he missed me and how he knew he messed up a good thing, I decided to meet with him face to face to talk it over. We did and I could geniuinely tell he was sorry. So I took him back.
Things were good (as they usually are in the beginning) but I didn’t trust him. Something just wasn’t right. Female intuition kickedin but I really couldn’t put my finger on it. We were spending more time together and when he said he was doing something else, it turned out to be true so I just figured it was because of my not trusting him that’s why I felt something wasn’t right. Until…one morning I asked to use his phone. He gave it to me but wouldn’t put the code in to unlock it. I was like wth? I let him use mine whenever, wherever. I got mad and knew he was hiding something. Of course the next day is when I seen he had been sending “hi” or “what’s up” messages to a woman on facebook for months (she never replied to any of his messages. Well the day before I seen these messages, he had given her his numer and told her to call him. The day I seen the messages he had sent a message that said he wanted to set something up and that he missed “that big ass”. Needless to say I broke up with him. This time however, I’m not getting the “I’m sorry’s” or “I miss you’s” or anything although he will comment on things I post on facebook. He had text me a couple of times but I was so pissed all I did was throw in his face what he had done. I’m sure he hasn’t text me because he doesn’t want it thrown in his face but I was pissed. I’m getting over it so if he were to text me, I would be cordial (well unless I follow the NCR).
Overall, he’s a good guy and sweet but I don’t understand why he breaks his neck looking at other women or tries to hook up with women he’s slept with in the past when things are going great between us and the sex is great too (he said I’m the best he ever had).
As I am typing this, I had an epiphany. Even though it’s not mentioned in my message here, he has an erection problem. Most of the time he goes soft in the middle of sex and he’s told me it’s happened with other women too (but when he does stay hard the sex is great. Could it be that maybe he’s trying to stroke his ego? I really don’t understand why he would want to cheat when he can’t stay hard half the time.
I don’t know what to do.
admin
October 22, 2013 at 2:07 am
Let me ask you a question. Was this cheating a one time thing?
nicole
October 21, 2013 at 1:17 pm
my boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago and I’m absolutely devastated. we were together for almost a year and things have been sour for the last two months according to him because he moved back to school. ever since the semester started, I have been there almost every weekend so we can spend a good amount of time together. a week before we broke up, we had a talk where we discussed a break but woke up the next day and decided it was silly because we wanna be with each other and breaks never work. then on Thursday (it’s Monday) we were out at a bar, I asked him about a girl he started following on twitter and we started arguing. we went outside to talk where I thought we would make up but he told me that night just proved that we don’t belong together, that we fight so much and he can’t and doesn’t wanna do this anymore. this was the last straw. we agreed to talk the next day, and as I slept at my friends house, I still had some hope we would patch things up in the morning. however, I went over there and apologized and told him I can’t change overnight and that if he gave me one more chance I can make him happy and be the girl he originally fell in love with. he was shaking he head no almost the whole time and tellin me it’s over it’s over and eventfully that I needed to leave. I asked if there was any hope for the future and he wouldn’t answer the question. we hugged at one point and he said our whole relationship flashed before his eyes. when I left I was sobbing because i couldn’t believe he had done this. he has only one previous relationship of three years, and although we’re only 23, we have made huge plans for the future, with him initiating conversations about kids and marriage and moving in and engagement at least half the time. he has told me I’m his best friend, that he can’t live without me, that he’s addicted to me and that he would never give up. he is in a fraternity and mentioned during the break up that this is his last year at school and he wants time to spend with his boys. that same night (Friday) he contacted me saying how is he gonna watch a show without me that we always watch together and I said maybe in a few weeks we can watch it together and he sent back a sad face so I asked if we could talk when he’s ready and he said ok. I said don’t want weeds without me and he said I won’t. I didn’t answer and a few hours later he contacted me again saying this isn’t easy and I said “I know ): if its meant to be we will find a way to work it out” and he said you’re right. once again I didn’t respond. the next day (Saturday) I go online to find out that he deleted every picture of us off of his Facebook and took away the relationship status. this felt like daggers because he always says he doesn’t care about Facebook so why is this the first thing he took time out to do. that night I was a bar for my friends birthday and he ends up showing up with his friends. we didn’t make eye contact and didn’t talk at all, however he texted me after they left and said “it’s hard not talking to you” and I said isn’t this what you wanted and he said its not easy so once again I didn’t respond. yesterday (Sunday) was the first day we have had no contact so after reading your blogs I’m going to wait thirty days. I’m just so confused because I truly in my heart believe this is the man I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with, I have had long term previous relationships and never felt even close like the way I do about michael. he tweeted last night “they say people in our life are seasons, and anything that happen is for a reason” and that seems to me there’s no hope at all. it seems like he wants to forget about me and trying to erase me from his life. the reason he broke up with me is because we have been fighting a lot and i know I pushed him away with my insecurities. he has said he always feels like he’s walking on eggshells and losing him has opened my eyes in a way I have never seen before. I figured if he truly loved me like he said he does, he would give me another chance. when we broke up he said I’m such a good person but that I can’t change since I’ve always been like this. I’m going to take these thirty days to better myself, I’m scared he’s just so fed up that this really is the end of us. life has been really hard since the summer because I was in a serious accident and had to have two surgeries, the doctors were not sure if I was going to walk again. he was there for me the whole time, but I still took all my frustration out on him. I’m so mad at myself because if I had better control of my insecurities, I wouldn’t have pushed him away. please help ):
admin
October 22, 2013 at 1:53 am
Ok, I am going to ask you somehting relaly basic. Have you staretd NC yet?
nicole
October 22, 2013 at 11:11 pm
he ended up texting me. i wanted to ignore him (i really did!) but i couldnt do it (im weak). he expressed that he wants me in his life but doesnt want to be in a bad relationship, he just wants good times like we used to have. i suggested taking things slow and letting him have as much time as he needs. he said he likes that idea and that we both gotta be strong. that was two days ago and we havent spoken since..
admin
October 23, 2013 at 8:25 pm
Well, add another week onto your NC tally.
nicole
October 21, 2013 at 1:37 pm
the break up was out of nowhere to me because I always had the mentality that we will be together forever and this is just a rough patch, but he said he has been thinking about it for a while. some of my friends are telling me that there’s no hope, and others are saying that hell come around. he’s so stubborn I’m also nervous he is goin to suppress any feelings that would work in my favor. we are meant to be, I’m sure of it. I just don’t want to wait until he graduates in may for him to be ready for a relationship. he knows I always check his twitter because i told him that when we were still together, so I know he posted that because he knew I would see it. I’m sorry for leaving such a long comment, I just want to give as much detail as possible. hope to hear from you soon! thank you in advance.
admin
October 22, 2013 at 1:57 am
Trust me when I say that this is not long hahaha.
Well, all I can say at this point is be patient. I know I know thats such a cliche thing but it is actually true here.
Natalie
October 21, 2013 at 12:43 pm
Hey Chris,
I was in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for a year and a half before we broke up. We had a great relationship and I could tell he was really into me more than I was into him. He broke up with me because the stresses in maintaining the long distance relationship were getting too much and he wanted to focus on his career (at this point he wasn’t where he wanted to be). I hesitated, but eventually agreed as I was anxious about how he would support me as a man when I moved from New Zealand to the States to be with him.
He wanted to continue to be friends and stay in contact. He told me that he hoped we would get back together eventually. He also told me he loved me for the first time after we broke up. I believed him because we had so many great moments together when he could have said it. We stayed friends for about a month and then he told that he couldn’t see a future with us and he only loved me as a friend. After that, I cut off contact and I haven’t heard from him since (it’s been a month).
Why did he change his mind? Why did he give up on me? What is going through his mind right now? Does he still think about me?
Thanks!
admin
October 22, 2013 at 1:50 am
I am sure he still thinks about you.
Do you think the distance had a role? Have you read the LDR post?
Natalie
October 21, 2013 at 12:46 pm
I also forgot to mention that I told him I would wait for him no matter how long, and he told me that he wanted me to date other guys.
I’m so confused!
Kissa
October 21, 2013 at 8:48 am
Hello, guys! Just call me Kissa, from philippines, 22 years old and I have a Korean Boyfriend, He is 29 years old and that’s his korean age. He is my 3rd boyfriend now. Actually, we met in the office wherein I teach English to Korean students, he is my manager, everybody likes him, they love him and he’s like a korean actor wherein they want to take a photo of him. I had a crush on him the first time we met, that was June 2013. He’s very interesting and very mysterious. We don’t talk a lot in the office since I am very shy. I always get jealous every time he gave compliments to my office workers. Moving on…I file a 2months leave since i noticed that I fell in love with him very hard. i easily get jealous and I am craving for his attention and I wanted to move on and stopped that feeling because I also have a 2 years relationship with my boyfriend at that time who is a filipino.. It’s the 2nd week of my leave and we kept on texting (korean manager), I text him first and and say my Hi and hello etc.. and we met and he confessed that he likes me.. I was so happy like I can’t believe it. All my office workers like him and they had a crush on him and now he told me he likes me. At that night, he kissed me and he said I’m his Girlfriend now and he’s also now my boyfriend. so I broke up with my filipino boyfriend because I want to grab the chance to have a relationship with him. I do love him so much.
last october 12, we had diner with my parents, I introduced him and I am so proud of him. My family they can see how happy am I with my boyfriend. The next day which was sunday, I went to his place and we talked and suddenly we had misunderstanding. i didnt talk to him and I walked out. I didnt talk to him because I dont want to utter bad words because of disappointment (actually I am very emotional), he did the same he didnt talk it’s like we are in the same room but we didnt talk for an hour.. after 2 hours that I walked out, I texted him that i wanna spend the day with you but I didnt know what happened, I told him I wanna see you tonight but he replied that maybe next time, I need time now. so I texted him monday and tuesday but no reply.
Wednesday october 16, he told me that we will meet outside, I aked him on skype since we chatted in skype at that time, I asked him “are we okay?” “can we still fix this?” he said that “I am afraid if we could still fix this” so I told him”just tell me the truth” he said “I am saying that I will be meeting you tonight to make up, not to break up” so I am happy and felt relieved. so we met at night, we went to the coffee shop and then he opened up about what happened last sunday where he had an argument. He said
“it’s still not the right time.. actually I am officially breaking up with you…”
I was so shocked like I cant think straight. I asked him why and he said I failed to get the job in the other place so I have no choice but to go back in Korea after 2 weeks. I told him we can still continue for the last 2 weeks and not give me this break up and want me to accept right away. he said it’s going to be hopeless and he doesnt want us to have a bad emotion before he will leave. He said we are still friends and I’m still here around. we can chat on FB and Kakao etc..
so it’s been 5 days now and I am still; grieving because of what happned to us. I text him often that I want to meet him and want to have lunch and I’ll cook, he said we do it the other day, he needs to help the new manager.. But I texted him again that I am drinking right now, can you come? and he’s not replying anymore. I ask him also that if he did love me during the two weeks and he just need to be honest so I can move on and same, I didnt received any reply.
I am so hurt like I dont know what to do. he’s leaving on Nov 1st. It’s ok with me if he needs to go back to korea, I will understand, but having LDR is not enough reason to break up a relationship. I’ve been good. i did the groceries stuff once, I cook food for him, I follwed his rules just not to be so clingy.
what have I done wrong? and how can I fix myself on this? I wanna see him and talk to him but it seems he doesnt want to. he’s working Monday – Fri from 11am – 7:30 pm.
Please help me on this, and I have a question, did he ever love me?
thanks in advance..
Kissa
October 22, 2013 at 3:14 am
I want to try the NC but he’s leaving very soon and I wanna see him before he leaves. He told me we are good friends but why is it he doesn’t reply on my messages like I want to invite him for a dinner.
I want to have a good memories with him before he will go back to korea for good.
admin
October 23, 2013 at 6:48 pm
Ok, then see him AND THEN do nc!
admin
October 22, 2013 at 1:40 am
I am going to ask you a pretty basic but important question. Have you done any form of NC yet?
Kissa
October 22, 2013 at 1:58 am
base on his reasons why he’s breaking up with me, do you think it’s a valid reason for me to consider? Did he ever love me? what do you think?
Kissa
October 22, 2013 at 1:57 am
I started yesterday, I didn’t text him or sent an email. I know I should follow the 30 days rule but he’s leaving soon, on November 1st.
admin
October 22, 2013 at 10:25 pm
I guess you could shorten it to 21 days if you want to.
Jessica
October 21, 2013 at 7:38 am
Hi! My boyfriend of a year broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. It was a long distance relationship. Everything was great and then out of the blue he said our relationship don’t work that we don’t mix that it was over. He wanted to remain friends and when I asked why he said that I was a very special person to him. I did not agree with the friend thing. ..how can I go from loving someone to being a friend? So he asked me if I wanted him to delete me and I said yes. So at that point he block d me from facebook blocked me on whatsapp. I have had a hell of a time dealing with this…first of all he did it all in a text…not even a phone call. Second he never gave me a solid answer. I spend nights crying myself to sleep. 2 days ago I noticed he unblockd me from whatsapp so I said I hope your doing good. He read it but didn’t respond. I’m so confused I can’t get closure. I just don’t know what to do. I want so bad to talk to him and the sad part is after all the pain, suffering, and crying I go through. ..I would take him back. What do I do? Him unblocking me gave me hope but I’m afraid its a false sense of happiness and I tend to over analyze. So does him unblocking me mean anything? Do I just sit back and time will tell? Do I message him?
admin
October 22, 2013 at 1:40 am
Well, only message him if you have completed NC. Have you?
Jessica
October 22, 2013 at 4:23 am
When do you know its time to just move on?
admin
October 23, 2013 at 6:54 pm
Two ways to figure that out.
1. If you don’t want him back anymore.
2. If you think there is a low probability of getting him back (this is where your logic has to kick in.)
Jessica
October 22, 2013 at 4:24 am
I have not completed the NC yet.
admin
October 23, 2013 at 6:54 pm
Well first get through that.
Rossy
October 21, 2013 at 6:46 am
Hi, recently broke up with my boyfriend. I don’t get it why he suggested that we should be friend and keep in touch. After broke up with him, i found out he keep adding new girl friends on facebook. He knows i don’t like that. 3 days after broke up, he finally text me, i lost my patience and i replied him. I am trying to be friend with him but its so hard. Does the NC rule work for a guy like him?
admin
October 22, 2013 at 1:37 am
Yup it can work!
Samantha
October 21, 2013 at 1:33 am
My ex and I dated for about three months before we broke up. In the beginning of the relationship, we were in the honeymoon phase and thought that each other was perfect. He fell for my personality as well as my looks, and the same with me for him. But then he began to get horrible family troubles and a lot of stresses in his life. He began to become a not as active boyfriend and would often shut himself down and like to be alone (that is just how he deals with stress and problems). I was very understanding and would give him his space and help bring him up whenever he needed it. He would feel better for a little bit, but he would eventually get distant again. He would also feel really bad for being a bad boyfriend and apologize to me, and I would always let him know that it wa okay and that I was there for him. However, with time, we began to feel a distance between us and we mutually decided that we may be right for each other, but this might not be the right time. We broke up and he said that I will always be special to him. However, we both avoid each other and never speak now. I have been doing NC for a month now, but I’m not sure if he is done or forgotten about me, or if he just doesn’t know what to do. But I really miss him and I care about him, but I’m afraid to barge back into his life and complicate it further. What do you think I should do?
admin
October 22, 2013 at 1:20 am
Well, your month is up. It might be time to reach out!