7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

Kasey

October 20, 2013 at 10:35 pm

My ex and I were together last year but we have always kept in touch – as in weekly. Well, we got closer in July and Aug and we went on a few dates in Aug/Sept. I didn’t hear from him for a few weeks and we met up for a casual lunch. He didn’t mention anything about a girl but a week later, he texts me “I need to talk to you, I started dating someone and she has been extremely nice to me but I have a pit in my stomach because I have feelings for you. I don’t know how you feel about me or if you would want more with me or not. I wish you would tell me how you feel about me.”. So we went back and forth and I told him how I felt and that if he wanted to try again; I would love too as well. I told him that I’m not as expressive as he is when it comes to my feelings. He said that was the issue with him when we were together, I would show my love and feelings through my actions but not my words. I asked him to be patient with me as I open up to him because it doesn’t come as naturally to me to say things. He also quoted from a song “love is patience, love is kind” – he said he thought of me when he heard it in a song. He wants to know and learn how to communicate better with me. The last message from him was “I need to ask you for the same thing, patience”. What does that mean? Patient while he works out how to end it with this girl or patient for both of us? I’m trying to read between the lines here and I’m thinking that he wants to try again. How long would it be suitable for me to be “patient” while I know he is dating this girl (been 1.5 month). I haven’t pushed him about the girl or have asked what he has done and its been 5 days.

Thanks!
Kasey

admin

October 22, 2013 at 1:01 am

Probably patience while he works out what hes feeling.

OR it could just be a way of stringing you along. Does he seem like the type to do that?
Kasey

October 24, 2013 at 3:44 am

No, he’s not the type to string me along. He’s very sensitive and verbal communication is a big thing for him. For that I mean as in validation of my feelings via verbal communication. He says my actions show him love but I never say anything – which is true. I love him but have never said it. I have been messaging him my thoughts and feelings and he wants to hear it in words so he wants to meet this weekend.
admin

October 24, 2013 at 7:52 pm

Ok, so you are the type of person that has trouble verbalizing how you are feeling?

Katelyn

October 20, 2013 at 9:02 pm

Hi there,
He’s not exactly my ex but he might as well be. We are one week for being together one year and things have taken a turn for the worse. His mom, who has barely had a chance to really get to know me, has decided she hates me. What’s worse is she doesn’t even have a reason and when asked she can’t give one. She just talks a lot of smack about me to him. This bothers me but I’m willing to put up with it. About two weeks ago, he started completely disappearing, not answering calls, barely replying to texts, avoiding questions. Yesterday he finally admitted he’s not sure if he wants to break up with me or not. He says his moms insults have gotten worse and he wants to protect me from her. I’ve told him I don’t need protecting I just want to be with you. I haven’t heard from him since so I’m guessing this relationship is done but I don’t want it to be. What should I do to convince him to stay or to get him back if it gets to that point?

admin

October 22, 2013 at 12:50 am

Wait how is he not exactly your ex?

If you are still dating then a lot of this stuff isn’t going to apply yet.

mysteriouschic

October 20, 2013 at 6:43 pm

I did the no contact rule for almost 30days and broke it when he texted me after 21days. He just said “Wanna hook up?” a drunk 4am text I stupidly texted back the next day we got talking he said he didn’t want a relationship. I probably didn’t help responding to the message. He’s stopped talking to me again. Am I wasting my time going back on NC? I keep thinking maybe it won’t work since he said he doesn’t want a relationship. We were had so much chemistry at the start. Half of me wants to try the NC again. Does him messaging me not mean he started to miss me in those days of no contact? could NC work?

admin

October 20, 2013 at 9:16 pm

No go back into it! You didn’t sleep with him again did you?
mysteriouschic

October 20, 2013 at 11:08 pm

No we definitely I didn’t but we did talk about it but I was joking wasn’t being serious. He blocked me at the end of it on whatsapp the conversation led the wrong way. So I haven’t totally blown it with him? I did apologise a few days later and a week later just sent a text saying I still think of him. I’m just worried all he wants is a hook up. I’ll try the NC again.
admin

October 22, 2013 at 1:05 am

Definitely do!

Susannah

October 20, 2013 at 8:47 am

Hi,
Just read your blog. Just wanted to ask something. My ex broke up with me a month this coming Tuesday. It was totally out if the blue as we where happy and the nite before he told me he loved me. Then the next day he broke up with me saying he wasn’t ready and calling me a bunny boiler and controlling. When I spoke to my friends they had to laugh because all of the things he was calling me actually made no sense as he was the one always in contact with me. I personally think he’s been influenced by his parents as I always thought they never liked me. He changed so much when I got with him in a good way he told me I made him more confident and he was getting better financially. Now the NC factor I probably would have text or called him but he has blocked my number and blocked me on Facebook. I don’t understand this as I was always an attentive and caring girlfriend. I dnt understand what has happened as we where both happy. His parents are extreme controlling but I also think that if he loved me he would fight for me. He always told me he loved me and that he would never leave sand he had never met anyone like me. We where only together a year but I fell for him and loved him. Is there any hope?

admin

October 20, 2013 at 9:02 pm

You mean last Tuesday? This coming Tuesday hasn’t happened yet haha.

there is hope but what is your reasoning for wanitng him back?
Susannah

October 20, 2013 at 9:40 pm

I’ve just found out tonight that he has a new girlfriend. That was so quick he’s obviously over me. I think I should jut forget it. I wanted him back because he made me happier than I was before. I loved spending time with him he made me laugh and we had some fun times. Maybe u should just give up now he obviously has moved on.
admin

October 22, 2013 at 12:55 am

Could be a rebound?

If you want to give up though I can offer help too.
Susannah

October 22, 2013 at 5:44 am

I just want him to be happy Chris. I only wish he would realise we, he was happy with me. Plus if he’s blocked my number there’s no way of contacting him by phone or on Facebook. That’s what confuses me the most the fact that he’s blocked me. I thought it mite be a rebound but who knows. Thank you for your help with this.
admin

October 23, 2013 at 6:59 pm

Do you have any other form of contacting him? Email?

Lauren

October 20, 2013 at 2:46 am

Hello,
My ex boy friend and I were together for four months. We basically lives together in out apartment building so we saw each other ever day for the last 4 months. Misting the time when we were together he kept saying he needed to focus in him self and his school like and future. And that he couldn’t do that while he was in mine, which makes since. Everything was going great if a whole and all of a sudden out if now where he comes over and says
” I’m not feeling good, were done. I need to focus on my self. I’m not doing this to get with other women I just need to do this.”
And I understand that but at the same time it was out if of no where he invited me to spend the night with him that night but then he came to my house and broke up with me. It’s just confusing. And I did need up texting him saying that I needed to talk to him the day after and he didn’t message back. Now I’m ready to do the 30 day no talking to him.
My question is do you think he will miss me and it will work even though I already texted him first and or I know he meant he needed to figure himself out. Should I just wait and see if he eventually does that and want to miss me?

admin

October 20, 2013 at 8:52 pm

I think he will. The greater your connection was the more likely he is to miss you.

Caroline

October 19, 2013 at 6:47 pm

Hi There,

I’ve been reading through your site for the last 2 days and everything really speaks to me. I’m so glad I found it!

Here’s my story…
I was seeing a guy from work for 3.5 months and have really developed strong feelings for him. He broke up with me 5 days ago saying (in a nut shell) that he needed some space, some time to figure out why he wanted etc and that he isn’t really ready to be in a serious relationship. I already knew this as we’d talked about it numerous times so that wasn’t a huge shock. The issue there though is that he left it kind of open saying ‘I’ll let you know why my decision is’. I assured him I would be waiting for any decision as the move he was making at that moment was decision enough for me. However, he still ended it saying the same thing…
Anyway, I had not contacted him whatsoever since he broke up with me however as I said, we work for the same company.
He messaged me today on our work chat system saying ‘hey, I just wanted to say hi and see how you’re doing’. I waited about an hour to get back to him (normally my responses to him are almost instantaneous) and told him I was fine… We chatted for a few minutes then we met outside as I was leaving. He asked if I was ok and told him yes and that my girlfriends and I are going out dancing tonight.
I said obviously you’re doing just fine.. He looked me in the eye and said he wasn’t but that this is how it needed to be for now.
I cut the convo short and said I had to get home.

So now, here I am still devastated and missing him like crazy.
I thnk of a million reasons a day to want to msg him or tell him something and I have a constant lump in my throat like I just want to cry.
I’m well aware that 3.5 months is not a very long time and that I’m likely over reacting but I can’t help the way I feel. I miss him.
I don’t know if we we’re suppose to last or not etc… I just know that right now I feel horrible and I really don’t know what to do.
I was starting the NC rule and today would have been day 5 had I not responded to him but where we work at the same place it would have just bed weird.

The whole ‘I’ll get back to you’. The fact is, he’s a really sensitive and sweet guy and would never be able to purposely hurt someone so I don’t now if leaving it open was because that’s the truth about how he feels r wasn’t for my benefit to soften the blow?…

Can you please shed some light in this and help me formulate a plan?
I’m a 33 year old single mom and thought I was finished with this part of my life but yet here I find myself in tears and feeling like I’m 18 all over again.

Caroline 🙁

admin

October 19, 2013 at 9:04 pm

33 year old HOT single mom. Don’t forget the hot part ;).

Well, first things first. YOu need to get through an entire 30 days of NC.

Stevie

October 19, 2013 at 10:06 am

I initiated a breakup with my boyfriend just a few days ago. We have been having ups and downs in our relationship and it has been even more tiring when i have to be the one always going back to him after a quarrel. I have to be the one apologizing to him when he has never once apologized for a quarrel. To me, a quarrel basically involves both two parties right? Of course the person who started the quarrel should be the one apologising.
At times, the “cold war” can take up to 9 days when it was a quarrel over something very silly (eg. he wasn’t able to spend time with me on a holiday, and as a result when i said that i would feel lonely, he started getting angry over me not understanding him, that his family understands him better and his friends know him better than his own girlfriend). I just hope that there is a way to make him realise that he is taking me for granted and that he will wake up and come back to me without me begging him to come back to me.

admin

October 19, 2013 at 8:47 pm

No, under no circumstances should you beg.

THIS IS A NO BEGGING ZONE!

Have you done NC yet?
Stevie

October 20, 2013 at 4:10 am

Thanks Chris for your advice.
I’m about to try NC for perhaps the next 1 month?
Actually, the day after i initiated the breakup, i dropped him a text asking him if i was the sole problem in the relationship and at the same time i thanked him for all the little efforts he did for me. I have yet to receive any reply from him yet and i’m concerned that he may feel that i don’t mean those words. I really miss him and want him back.
admin

October 20, 2013 at 8:55 pm

Nc for a month yes!

At this point let the NC work its magic.

Eri

October 19, 2013 at 8:35 am

Hi Chris,
So me and my ex we broke up like a month and half ago..we had an inter religious relationship, we were so happy and we are so perfect and compatible, we were the best thing that has ever happened to each other And then he broke up with me because he thinks it’s a dead end, our parents will never agree to it, he’s feeling pressured because of this, we’re just hurting each other and that he’s not happy any more..he told me that we wanted to break up with me for a while but he couldn’t because i made him happy and every time we talked about the potential of breaking up i cry hard and asked me to just be friends coz he still wants me in his life!
I met him once and he seemed ok socializing and having a good time talking and laughing and i’m the one that was wrecked! (I tried to hide it)
I contacted him afterwards telling him that i can’t get over him and he said that he will disappear and we can never be back together.
Then it was his birthday and i texted him but he didn’t text back.
So now he broke up with me and he seems to be having fun and enjoying his time traveling with friends taking pictures and posting them on Instagram…i’m doing the same but i’m not so happy..every time i feel like i’m doing fine and having fun then i see his pictures all feelings starts hitting me again even harder and i feel that huge black hole in my chest!
I’m using the no contact rule, it’s now 10 days but it’s getting harder and harder and every time i feel better there is always something that sets me back and makes me want to contact him!
I really want him back although it’s hopeless
Can i get him back?!!..is he over me that fast?!!..can we be just friends..i don’t want to be just friends!
I want him to miss me and want me back!
Please help!!!!!!

admin

October 19, 2013 at 8:45 pm

Remember you are still early in the process.

Be patient at this point. Have you read the latest post by any chance?
Eri

October 20, 2013 at 5:29 am

Hey chris,
Thnx for the reply,
I’m sorry i don’t understand what do u mean by focusing on the wrong things, personally i am trying to find new hobbies and activities to do but i can’t stop thinking about him..everything reminds me of him and it ruins everything for me!..i feel like i do all that to impress him.
And yes i read your posts but i was unsure whether my situation is hopless or not because i don’t want to raise my hopes for nothing.
I was his ungetteble girl..and now he wants nothing to do with me or that’s how i feel!
I’m now using the NC..and i feel like it means nothing to him and that he’s relieved that we broke up 🙁
What should i do?
admin

October 20, 2013 at 8:59 pm

Stay in NC at this point and work towrads becoming an UG!
Eri

October 27, 2013 at 6:27 pm

He is not even trying to contact me..it’s like he’s relived !
Eri

October 31, 2013 at 7:28 pm

Sorry for the million questions.. Today we were celebrating halloween at work an i sent a picture with my costum to my ex and he replied with a picture with his…so what should be my next move?!!
admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:06 pm

Did he reply?

What were you?

I was a chef!
Eri

November 2, 2013 at 5:47 am

Haha…Awesome!!..i was just wearing devil horns…and YES HE DID!!!..sent me back a picture with his custom..and i made a funny comment about it and that’s it.
Then yesterday i texted him as he told me the day before that he had a wedding and i know he hates them, so i asked him was the wedding and if he still hasn’t changed his idea about them? And replied back that he still hated them!..and i thought that he’s giving me neutral replies but after a while he asked how have i been and i told i’ve been good and then he asked me if it’s ok if we talk so early and i told him if fe don’t want to talk i’ll understand but he said it’s ok, he’s glad we’re talking and he just doesn’t want to mess things up again (as in me asking him back and having feelings for him) and i told him not to worry..then he asked me what i’ve been up to and i told him nothing much but i’m expecting a good news soon ( i got promoted..yaay me!!..but i’m waiting till it’s officially announced to tell him) that i can’t tell him about but he’ll know soon!..of course he tried to know but i told him not yet…and then i did what you taught us i told him i have to go and if we can talk later.
He was talking like i’m the only person who is having a problem if we went back to talk!..as if he’s ok..it’s all over for him and that’s how! i feel that he’s over everything and that’s what scaring me!..because he has a very good reason not to come back and it looks like he made up his mind and i’m being pushed in the friend zone!
Now what should i do?!!..should i wait for a couple of days till i contact him or what?!!…what should i do next?
admin

November 2, 2013 at 7:13 pm

I think watiing a couple of days to reach out is ideal now haha.

Devil horns huh! The classic sexy girl costume.
Eri

November 17, 2013 at 5:44 pm

“Sigh”..MEN!!!..can’t live with them, can’t live without them :p
Eri

November 16, 2013 at 6:04 pm

I feel like when he asked for us to be friends with benefits and do stuff on the phone and i fell for it he pulled away!
Should i talk to him about it or it will sound desperate..i mean i will talk to him as a friend who values the relationship like i do with most of my friends when i feel something wrong
Eri

November 16, 2013 at 6:01 pm

Please tell me what should i do about him not texting or contacting first?..i always start contacting him and he replies..sometimes positive, sometimes neutral sometimes he ignores my texts but he never starts the conversation.
What does that mean? I mea he wants us to be friends but he’s not even working for it
I kept NC for 3 days and there was nothing and when i contacted him he replies!
Eri

November 16, 2013 at 12:27 pm

The thing is he’s insecure both ways!.. He sees no future for this relationship when we were together and that’s why i think he’s trying to go around it by asking us to be friends with benifits.
I just don’t know..it’s too complicated
admin

November 16, 2013 at 10:19 pm

Men can be insecure both was its very possible haha.
Eri

November 13, 2013 at 8:33 pm

WOHOOO!!..we have a plan!! And i’m sticking to it!!
As for the open relationship, i’m not so find of the idea but i mean..his concern was we can’t get married because of the parents thing and we stayed like bf and gf what if in the future he wanted to get married?..so i think the open relationship will secure him in this area..and i will get the relationship and the chance to tie him down :p
I don’t know if this is a good idea..or if i can even do it.
I don’t know if he will even accept it and i don’t know how to tell him?
Tell me what do u think?
admin

November 14, 2013 at 6:21 pm

Obviously, all decisions are left up to you but I don’t think the open relationship thing will secure him in the long run.
Eri

November 13, 2013 at 5:36 am

I’m sorry about all these emotional texts you recieved the past few days from me!..i’m just confused and i hate not having a plan and just hanging there not knowing where i stand and when i re-read your guides i feel like i suck at this and i don’t know know to do it and i feel more helpless and i start freaking out and feeling down that i don’t have a chance.
And you were right about taking some time out from thinking about him..i’m so good in cornering myself in the area where i chase him instead of him doing that!..so i’m traveling with my friends this weekend and it will be soooo much fun 😀 and it’s a chance for the time out also i’ll go into NC again for a little while to give me a chance to think logical and hopefully make him miss me..so no texting and if he called or texts i’ll reply after coming from my awesome weekend..and if he didn’t the NC will be longer..or i mean i will wait until he starts a conversation.
What do you think?
admin

November 13, 2013 at 7:52 pm

I think thats a solid plan.
Eri

November 12, 2013 at 7:07 pm

That means he still wants me?..or am i just imagining it because i really want it?!.. But he never texts me..he never initiates conversations and when i kinda asked him about that he told me that he’s not a good texter and he doesn’t text much even his best friend and told me that whenever i text him he texts back..but i think if someone wants to do something he’ll find a way and that’s what’s driving me insane!!
What do u think?!!..what should i do!
And i can’t stop thinking about him even though i go out and have fun with friends but everything reminds me of him and i miss him like hell and at every moment is wish he was there with me!..and i tried every way to stop but it all fails!
What i’m sure of is that we both are not the type of ppl who have FWB relationship and it’s the first time for both of us…i’m sooo sure of that!
That’s why i’m really confused he asks me to be and wants me to be in his life badly and wants me in some intimate way but at the same time he wants us to move on and be friends and date other ppl if we get a chance!..can’t i suggest we have an open relationship?!!
Please tell me there’s a way and that we have a plan!
admin

November 13, 2013 at 6:28 pm

Open relationship… He would love that idea but YOU wouldn’t I am guessing.
Eri

November 12, 2013 at 5:45 am

How and why would it be all up to him??
admin

November 12, 2013 at 7:17 pm

B/c its him who makes the decision whether to want you back or not and you or I can’t control him really.
Eri

November 11, 2013 at 7:19 pm

Honestly this situation is too complicated for me!..i’m not the kind of girl that knows how to act during these situations!..thank god you’re here!
I mean i don’t get him at all..does he want me or not?..he’s asking me to move on but he still wants me in a way!..what the hell is he thinking!!..this sucks!!!
admin

November 12, 2013 at 6:35 pm

Well, if you really want to know what a person thinks take his words out of the equations and look purely at his actions.
Eri

November 11, 2013 at 7:15 pm

YES!!..because of parents and religion i’m losing the best man i’ve ever had!..and i can do nothing about it!!!..I JUST HATE IT!!..it makes me so angry,helpless and depressed!
Can i use the friends with benefits situation along with your guides?..i’m just so terrified of losing him and i don’t want to go back to not talking to him..and i think it’s a chance that might remind him of our good times and it gives us tie and a chance to talk and at the same time i’m scared that i might get attached and then get hurt for nothing because he literally says he’s moving on and staying friends in every sentence that comes out of his mouth and i don’t want to feel being used or be just a tool for him.
So now i feel like i got emotional the past few days so i decided i should disappear for a while and will travel with friends for the weekend
What do you think i should do?!..what should be my next step?..is it getting bad?
admin

November 12, 2013 at 6:32 pm

No I am telling you the FWB thing is NOT a good idea. Every person I have ever talked to that has done it has failed.

I think you should take a break from thinking about him so much.
Eri

November 11, 2013 at 5:13 am

I mean isn’t there a way for getting out of the friends with benefit zone like getting out of the friends zone?
admin

November 11, 2013 at 6:27 pm

Oh yes there is a way but adimtedly it will all depend on HIM.
Eri

November 11, 2013 at 5:07 am

Ok?..it won’t be sex it would just be some fun over the phone!
The thing is he sees that we did the right thing by breaking up, our relationship is hopless because non of our parents will approve it and he thinks we won’t end up getting married..so the break up was the best solution for it!
And now i think he wants the friends with benifits because we will be together but without all this hassil that comes with the relationship..so i think he’s trying to take a way around it like be together but no complications..you know
But what i meant is that can’t i use that situation..i mean i thought it would make us special friends and it would bring out old pleasent feelings when he sees me..you know?
The thing is also i don’t want to be used as a tool and i don’t want to be used!..i told you i fell for his begging the night before and now he’s back to acting distant again..like i told him that i’m feeling sick and he didn’t even text to see how i’m doing!..so i think also you’re right he will only come back when he just needs some fun!
And i decided i should back up a little bit
I dunno i just thought maybe i can use this situation along with using your guides!
i was also thinking of trying to tell him in a way yes i want it but also no..so maybe he can chase me around alittle bit!
And maybe i should talk to him about the situation like if you want the benifits you have to give me the friendship!..tell him that he has to make an effort in a way!…that i won’t allow him to use me!..that if he wasn’t a good friend there will be no benefits…he has to make some effort coz this is a special situation..and use the friendship to talk and see him and implement the guides
I mean he’s already pushing me in the friends zone and if i refused the friends with benefits we would go back to not talking much and trying to find how to open a conversation, there would be no strings attached, like this situation makes it easier to talk to.
I just dunno i’ve never been in that situation before so i dunno how to act and i’m pouring down my thoughts for you
What should i do and what should i tell him..this is reallly confusing!
admin

November 11, 2013 at 6:26 pm

Is it just me or do you get annoyed when parents get involved in your relationships?
Eri

November 10, 2013 at 6:01 am

Haha..L was the best!!..the show was never the same without him :(..it’s an amazing show!..watch midori no hibi it’s the cutest show ever and it’s different also watch a show called code
So my ex called me yesterday telling me he wants us to be “friends with benifits”..and he was convincing me and everything, and i fell for it this time (i can’t believe i did and i wasn’t emotional at all and i was thinking logicaly):( but i’ll ask him for time to think about it until you and me figure it out!
It is so stupid he wants us to be friends but then do stuff together but then again when comes the chance we date other ppl! And stop what we’re doing!. It’s so messed up!
And he kept saying that we’re moving on and he doesn’t want us to fall again for each other because of the “benifits” and he doesn’t want me to fall for him again and blah blah blah!!..and he knows very well that we both are not like that at all!..and he was like we’re helping each other when we’re turned on to get these feelings out! So there is no harm
I feel because the problems in our circumstances (they are impossible and we had to break up) he still wants me and wants this relationship but without the shit coming with it so he’s taking a way around it!
Can you please tell me why is right not to do stuff with him when i think if we did he’ll get attached in a way and want me back?
I mean can’t i use the friends with benifit situations (it is his weakness right now) to get him back?
admin

November 10, 2013 at 9:58 pm

Yes L was the BOMB!

Friends with benefits is a mistake. It will not work b/c once you get in that territory he won’t feel the need to commit to have sex with you.
Eri

November 9, 2013 at 2:40 pm

I feel like he doesn’t want to talk to me!!..is it ok if i asked him if he wants me to stop talking to him?..or should i leave everything as it is?
Eri

November 9, 2013 at 2:33 pm

Now he completely confuses me..i text him yesterday and today and he’s keeping the conversations short!..but last night he was all over me and wanted us to get naughty on the phone!
What does he exactly want??
Should i have done what he wanted he would find a reason to be back and maybe remember our moments together?!..or did i do the right thing by stopping it?!!
What does he exactly want?..i don’t get him!
He is moving on or already did and i’m being shoved in the friend zone and i am freaking out!
admin

November 10, 2013 at 1:15 am

Just relax, he is going through an emotional time right now where he doesn’t quite have his mind made up. Its normal.
Eri

November 9, 2013 at 2:47 am

OMG!!! NO WAYYY!!!..I AM CURRENTLY WATCHING IT!!! IT’S EPIC!!!!
I also love death note and midori no hinbi..if you haven’t watched them you must!
High 5 my nerdy friend!
So the weirdest thing just happened today and i’m totally confused and i don’t know if i acted right!
I texted my ex today with some part of the show that i didn’t understand and he was like i can’t tell you, it will ruin the show for you and then i texted him with some more parts and he said he honestly can’t remember but i’ll get it by the end! And i told him ok and the we stopped talking
Then in the middle of the night i found him texting me asking me if understood anything and i told him some parts yes..and he was like it’s ok u’ll get i all and blah blah blah
And we started talking about when i finish the show and that we get attached to characters after we finish a good book or show!
( the next part my be inappropriate)
And he told me you should watch porn you won’t get attached to the characters or maybe i should watch it after watching some episodes of the show so i won’t get attached
And that he does so and that he is going to watch one as he just finished a season of a show and it was bad so he needs some fun! And we started making fun of porn and animes and we started making fun that we can be friends with benefit and we talked a little bit more and then he asked me to call him!..and i didn’t know what to do so i did!
He said that and sounded really turned on!..he told me he don’t know why he’s doing this and he just wanted to hear my voice, that he don’t want things to be awkward between us as we are trying to fix things and that he don’t want me to be mislead by this call! and maybe he should hang up and i told him let’s talk about something else, and he told me that he is sorry about that call and that he is keeping his feelings under control and that he is properly moving on and all he is feeling is purely physical! And that he wants us to be friends and that he misses our conversations and that we love the same stuff and that we would make good friends and that he wants to make sure that i still don’t have any feelings for him because he don’t want us to be friends but me having or hiding feelings and that eh doesn’t want things to be messed up like last time (i begged him back)and I had to agree to all that and that i have no feelings and of course we can be friends( i didn’t want to get into any arguments as you said in your guide and i didn’t want to mess things up again and he would run away)..and i asked him (from a friend’s point of view) about him hooking up with my colleague and he told me that she was the one who called him and and asked him about something and he had to call her back, and he can never do this to me!..he’s not a jerk and he is not ready for a relationship yet because it will be a rebound!..he will move on first and then the relationship comes whenever it comes!
And then he went back to the first subject ( he was really turned on) and he said his sorry and i’m like no it’s ok!..he told me he was sleeping and he was turned on and he had a hot dream and it made him wake up just wanted to hear my voice and then things were starting to get hotter that’s when i told him to stop.. that as much as i so want it but what we’re doing it’s not right and it would be awkward and i’ve never been through situation like that so i don’t know how to act and he said he’s sorry and that i’m right this will complicate things and then he told me he should hang up and that he’s happy we sorted things out that we can be friends and we sorted out that he is not hooking up with my colleague..and we wished each other good night and we hung up!
now WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!!!..and should i have done?..did i do the right thing or i should have gone with the flow!
HELLPPP!!..i’m sooo confused right now!!..what should i do!!!
admin

November 10, 2013 at 12:41 am

Really? I watched it all in like a week and it was mind blowing!

Death Note was like that for me too but after L (well you know what happens to him) it got worse for me.

I think you are doing the right thing. But one thing is that I can tell you are emotional. See if you can obtain a more logical mindset when you communicate with him.
Eri

November 8, 2013 at 6:04 pm

Hahah..we’re both nerds!!..it was a perfect date..our first kiss <3
And yes i mentioned it before..i told him i want to buy it to play it again when i buy a new PS and that's it! So i used that idea before.
We also love watching anime's and i used ask him lots of questions when i don't understand anything in the show..so i'm thinking about using this to start conversations
If you have any other ideas please tell me!
But would make our conversations special if we are talking about normal stuff?
admin

November 8, 2013 at 7:30 pm

Have you ever seen Full Metal Alchemist?

Thats one of my favorite animes.

I am a nerd too.

Oh, and I like the text.
Eri

November 7, 2013 at 7:23 pm

The last time i contacted him was last Tuesday but the question is why isn’t he trying to contact me? Like i an disappear and he wouldn’t even text to ask about me!
And i start my conversations according to the circumstances!..like halloween we had a work call and we started talking about customs and i sent him mine and he sent me his!
Once he told me he has a wedding to attened (i know he hates weddings) and i asked him how was it.
When i had my promtion i told him about it!
Once i started talking about the new PS (we’re both gamers and that i’m buying a new PS3 and i talked about the game we first played together and made out while playing (pleasent memories)
I don’t have a particular idea or scenario of what i am doing or how to start a conversation.
Is there a certain way i should start a conversation with him?
admin

November 8, 2013 at 5:52 pm

Made out while playing… god that sounds like the perfect date hahaha.

Well, I think that there is potential with that conversation starter. BUT do not mention the make out session. Just talk about the game and how it reminded you of him.
Eri

November 6, 2013 at 8:52 pm

And when should i contact him again??
admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:26 pm

When was the last time you contacted him again?
Eri

November 6, 2013 at 8:51 pm

How do i change my conversation starters?!!..what should i do?
admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:25 pm

Would you like to run a few by me?
Eri

November 5, 2013 at 6:01 pm

Do u think i should back up and disappear for a while???
admin

November 6, 2013 at 4:35 pm

I do!
Eri

November 5, 2013 at 5:57 pm

I’m sorry what do u mean by me starting the conversation has to change a bit??..what should i do?!!
admin

November 6, 2013 at 4:36 pm

I mean change up your conversation starters.
Eri

November 5, 2013 at 4:43 pm

I woke up this morning and i found that he left me text msgs from last nightasking if i’m asleep and then telling me that he just wanted to congratulate me AGAIN on my promotion( this is like the 4th time) as it’s a big deal so nice job specially it’s my first promotion..and i replied by saying thanking him so much for his texts and that he’s amazing as he really made my day!..but he just completely ignored it and didn’t reply back!! :(… What should i do?
admin

November 6, 2013 at 4:29 pm

Well your text message isn’t exactly “reply” material
Eri

November 4, 2013 at 10:14 pm

And how can i use facebook..i followed some tips from your guide about how to use facebook page, i changed my profile picture, cover picture, posting picture of my outings with my friends, writing happy statuses that has double meanings( that was not from the guide)..what else should i do?!..although i think that he doesn’t check my facebook page but just incase 😀
admin

November 5, 2013 at 5:30 pm

Hmmm….. well I would say its likely he does check your page.

Maybe you can take a picture or two with a few guys.
Eri

November 4, 2013 at 9:55 pm

So i thought i should give you my updates and ask for more help since i feel like u became like a friend that i should keep updated with my gossip and ask for help..which i really appreciate!! 😀
i went bold and told him about the promotion!!.. I texted him telling him congratulate me!..and he texted back congratulations but y and he kept sending question marks..and i told him try to guess..and he told me is it a promtions and i said yes i got promoted today and from his textsi felt like he was happy and excited for me and like congratualtions and finally and stuff like that!..and i was like yeah finally..i’ve been dying for it!..and he was like congratulations so is this the news that you wanted to tell me about but couldn’t?..and waited for a while then i answered ignoring his question and i said thank you now it’s time to celebrate and he repeated the question again so it IS the news you couldn’t tell me!..and again i waited for a while and i answered back so far yes.
At that time i was out celebrating with a friend and i met one of his friends and said hi and everything!…so i texted him and told him guess who i just met?..your friend (x) i was out with a friend and i met her!( i did as you told us in one of the guides but in your guid it was a different situationas it was about recomending a romantic movie..i just said i was celebrating with a friend and let his mind wonder also to show him that i’m having a good time)..and he was like wow i haven’t seen her in ages!..where are u?…and i told him the place then told him i can’t talk right now i’ll text you when i’m home!
Then when i went home i texted him that i’m home but he ignored my text..so i asked him how was work and he said it was fine and then he congratulated me again on the promtion and told me that i should celebrate!..and i told him that i already started celebrating and that a friend bought me drinks today and i still have other plans..and he was like other plans,eh?! And winks ..and i sent him a shy face and a :p then i told him i had a long day and i have to go to sleep!
Was that any good?!!..what should i do?!!..and how should i text him nxt time? And when
I know it’s too soon but is it ok that i’m the one that always start the conversations?!
admin

November 5, 2013 at 5:28 pm

That wasn’t bad!

Though, you having to start the conversations needs to change a bit.
Eri

November 4, 2013 at 5:25 am

Awesome..will do 🙂 😉
Eri

November 2, 2013 at 9:12 pm

I’m just trying to be an UG thanks to u :D…do u think i should try the where u at (place)..u look great msg?..or what should my next text be?!
And how should i tell him about my promotion?
admin

November 3, 2013 at 5:20 pm

I think your next text should be about the promotion. Just go bold and tell him you got one hahaha.
Eri

November 2, 2013 at 5:51 am

You should have been a king of hearts or a heart surgeon for halloween :D..because that’s what you’re doing here 😀
Eri

November 5, 2013 at 6:34 am

I woke up and found that he left me a text msg to congratulate me AGAIN on the promotion and that this is a big deal and that i did a great job!
He congratulated me like 4 times!!…i’m confused!!!!
admin

November 5, 2013 at 6:11 pm

Hey congrats on your promotion ;).

I think its a good sign.
admin

November 2, 2013 at 7:11 pm

Nope, I was just a chef! I cook ze language of love!
Eri

October 27, 2013 at 6:25 pm

Do u honestly think i should stop trying and give it up?
admin

October 27, 2013 at 11:03 pm

Only if you want to.

I am here for you either way. I want whats best for you.
Eri

October 24, 2013 at 9:25 pm

Is the situation so bad?!..is it messed up?
admin

October 26, 2013 at 1:00 am

Its not great but its not completely out of reach.

Though, I guess you can say that about th emajority of breakups.
Eri

October 24, 2013 at 6:39 am

So yesterday i was talking to a collegue of mine and she told me that she wants to set me up with someone..and while we were talking she told me that my ex tried to hook up with her but she turned him down because she has a bf!
what should i do? Should is still keep the NC? He’s moving on or he has moved on already! 🙁
admin

October 24, 2013 at 7:59 pm

Yup, keep NC.

And your ex is an idiot.
Eri

October 22, 2013 at 7:33 am

Thank you soooo much for your time and effort..i’ll try to make this my last question 😀
In my case i’m worried that the NC can work with bakckward effect..i mean it can make him get over me since i think he wants nothing to do with me and it seems like he’s living his life normally instead of missing me??..is that possible?!
admin

October 23, 2013 at 7:26 pm

You are allowed as many questions as you want!

Nothing is impossible but I would say more often than not this isn’t even an issue.
Eri

October 21, 2013 at 4:20 am

And how should i talk to him during the work phone calls?..should i be friendly or should i be professional and get straight to the subject?
admin

October 22, 2013 at 1:34 am

Professional but friendly!
Eri

October 20, 2013 at 2:40 pm

I forgot to mention together but in two different companies..so there are sometimes work telephone calls between us during work..how should i act?or how should i talk?
Eri

October 30, 2013 at 9:23 pm

Hi again :)…and really thank you for everything!
so next 9th of november i would complete my 30 days of no contact (yaaaay me!)…as i told u before in my above posts that my ex is kind of my collegue at work..so we had a work call today (we don’t talk that much at work) and he was nice and funand for me i think it went perfect as i showed him that there are no hard feelings and he told me where have i been since it’s been a long time since we talked (at work)..and on the phone he sounded sick and he told me he has a bad flu which is getting better.
Do u think it’s a good idea if i texted him they day after tomorrow or something to ask how is he?!..or i shoulf wait until i finish my 30 days?!
What i mean is now i have a way to open a subject with him..i’m worried after i finish my 30 days i won’t find a way to or a subject to start texting him?
What do u think?
admin

October 31, 2013 at 7:05 pm

I would finish the 30 days first 🙂
Eri

October 20, 2013 at 2:42 pm

We work together but in two different companies*
Eri

October 19, 2013 at 9:27 am

I read posts similar to what i’m about to mention now..i didn’t tell u in the above is that after the breakup we texted and he was responding to me and he was so nice and supportive and told me what he was doing to get over everything and and as i told u above we met in a friends gathering..before meeting he called me and told me that he’s called me and told me again that he don’t go out or meet anyone and he,s distracting himself and asked me if it’s ok for him to show up and he just called to say hi and i told him it was fine..and on my way there he texted me to ask me where i am all the way.
And when i told him that i wasn’t over him and i couldn’t pretend to be just friends and he told me he has to disappear when i asked him then why did he call..he told me just to make sure that it’s ok for him to show up!..and he that he still wants me in his life as friends!
Why is he doing that?!!..he can’t be that stupid and think that we can instantly become friends and that what he’s doing has led me on!
I know what you’re going to say.. That it’s helpless and i should get over it and forget about him!..but i can’t..i can’t get over how perfect we were and how we complete each other!
Help me please i’m so desperate
admin

October 19, 2013 at 8:46 pm

Either he is really sick, really stupid or is unusre.

I am not going to say that its helpless and that you should forget about him all I am going to say is you are focusing on the wrong things. What can you do personally to come out of the situation better do you think?

Madison

October 18, 2013 at 4:54 pm

So my ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. First he initiated no contact right after the break up and that lasted about 3 weeks. We then talked and had sex and then I started developing emotions again so I initiated another no contact. That lasted about 4 days then he contacted me asking me to give it another shot. We tried that, and yet again, it did not work. So Then we did NC for about 8 days and I contacted him. That worked for about a week but now I can see myself getting too clingy and he is pushing away so I am not going to contact him. Neither of us have verbally initiated NC this time, do I need to tell him not to contact me? Or should I just stop talking to him out of the blue with no explanation?

admin

October 18, 2013 at 7:18 pm

Well, haha you just kind of do it.

Angie

October 18, 2013 at 3:56 pm

We have only been dating for two months, but things started to move pretty fast. Within two weeks we said our first I love you’s, and met each other’s families. At the time, it didn’t seem like a big deal. It felt wonderfully perfect. Then just two days ago he said he couldn’t be with me. He felt rushed, and that he would talk to me soon. We talked today on the phone, and it actually went well; well kind of. He said that he did love me, or so he thinks, he says he does still care about me and that he still wants to talk to me, and be my friend. So I told him, that I would stop being so pushy, and change my attitude. That I’d be willing to start over, and take things slow. At first he said that he didn’t want to fix things, but after I said I’d be willing to start over, just to get to know each other, he said he needed a couple of weeks to think. I’m so scared, I’m scared of losing him. I know it’s my fault I was pushy, I’m 17, and he just turned 20. He said that it felt scary for him, that soon he’d almost be done with college. I understand I suppose, but I want him to know that I’m willing to bend over backwards to be with him. I understand I’m young, but what I feel for him is undeniable. I will take it slow if he gives me another chance. Once the two weeks is up, he said we can sit down and talk about it, in person. Which makes me think that maybe I do have a chance. If I do, what should I say, what should I do? I already decided I’m not gonna text or call him for the next couple weeks unless he contacts me first, and if he does I’m gonna keep the conversation light. How can I make these couple weeks less painful? What should I say when we get together to make him forget the awful things I have done, I never meant to pressure him, or rush things. I need to be with him.

admin

October 18, 2013 at 7:18 pm

The age difference and high school to college difference is bugging him I can tell.

I think that NC is the best thing at this point. I also think there has to be an extreme attraction that he has to you. I mean, that is the only way I would date someone that young (no offense.) An extreme connection is a very good thing.

Girl

October 18, 2013 at 12:10 pm

X as of 3 days ago just got a new job in a city 1,000 miles away. Wants to keep in contact, BUT Doesn’t want a long distance relationship. Doesn’t want to meet in the nearest city during his two week break once a month in order to stay together (says he isn’t ready for that kind of commitment).

3 weeks ago he was panicking when I told him he needed to start seeing me at least once a week (been together 5 mo.) and start making me more of a priority if he was serious about being in a relationship with me, otherwise we needed to go our separate ways (he works a lot, but he gets 2 week vacations and he will spend the entire time with his friends go without seeing me for up to 3 weeks at a time). He said he would do anything to stay together and that he was serious about the relationship.

He’s only had 3 girlfriends his whole life, is really inexperienced (I won’t elaborate), and super shy. He is a good guy, but I have to admit, I really didn’t expect him to end things especially the way he did AND after he was so adamant about staying together the week before he got his new job.

I feel I need to move on and find a new relationship for myself with someone who will give me the commitment I deserve. Plus, I am really devastated and super confused.

I dont want to do the wrong thing, but I want to be fair to myself and don’t want to be his girlfriend on the shelf. Suggestions from someone whose judgement isn’t clouded by their emotional involvement?

admin

October 18, 2013 at 7:07 pm

You actually should read the LDR post it could give you a few good ideas on how to approach the situation.

confused

October 17, 2013 at 11:06 pm

My ex and I went out for about 3 months, at first you could really tell he liked me, and of course I liked him. He would text me everyday and make plans to hang out, well after the second month he started to drift away and not contact me as much, this went on for about a month and I was always the one who had to text first. I got so tired of it I decided I wanted to break up. I asked our friends for some opinions and they all said I should just give him some time. I wasn’t very pleased with their response but I did as I was told. At the end of the third month I was going to break up with him face to face but he beat me to it over Facebook…anyways our break up was mutual. I did not contact him for the next 2 months. School started (we’re sopmores) and I decided to talk to him in person. The conversation was short and he seemed very distant, I was surprised because he had recently been showing signs that he missed me :he would show up wherever I was at, make himself noticeable by me, eat wherever I ate whether it was outside or inside, stare at me, and walk in between my Guy friends and I whenever we were talking. Well I haven’t made any kind of contact since then, partially because I found out that he’s been telling people that he broke up with me because I was being clingy!! If anyone was being clingy it was him! He had been also asking my best friend if I ever talked about him since our break up. Now this was a few weeks ago, now I think he likes my best friend because he asked her if she liked him only as a friend. I’m completely over him and this made no difference in the way I feel about him but I would love if you gave me some advice and maybe explain what he is doing and what his actions meant. Thanks in advance! I appreciate it alot!! (:

admin

October 18, 2013 at 6:29 pm

He sounds immature to me but you expect this from a lot of sophmore guys. Girls at that age tend to value relationships much more and guys are kind of idiots at that age (no offense to him of course.)

Ashley

October 17, 2013 at 5:41 am

My girlfriend and I broke up about four months ago and it was a really bad breakup. I found out that she was cheating on me and I confronted them both and it did not end well. I moved out of our apt and didn’t see her for about two months. While I was away she would randomly text me, but I would never respond. I seen her about a month ago and she was extremely happy to see me, the feeling was mutual, but seeing her reminded me of everything that happened during the split and left me in a funk for the rest of the day. Let me add that I ran into her because I stopped by out apt complex to have my name removed off of the least, I was unaware she would be home due to her work schedule. We spoke briefly about random topics, not the breakup, and although it was extremely hard being around her it was nice to see her again. After I left she proceeded to text me and told me she was already in another relationship and had been for a while, which was about two months after we broke up. She told me that I broke her heart and I was her world and the only reason she was tellin me about this new person was to help me move on.
I guess my question would be; how do I know if she misses me if she already has someone new in her life to comfort and be there for her. How do I know that even after the horrible break up she doesn’t miss me or at least think about me?
It’s only been four months and we were together for four years, I would think that it would be difficult for her to move onto someone new in such a short time frame. I’m still dealing with the break up itself, but I’m just curious as to what she maybe experiencing, if she’s experiencing anything at all

admin

October 17, 2013 at 6:28 pm

How long has she been dating the new guy?

Emma

October 17, 2013 at 4:17 am

My boyfriend broke up with me a week and a half ago and we have been going out for three years but I asked if he loved me anymore and he said I’m not gonna lie I don’t I mean is this true also I think he likes someone else like how can this be after three years he said he wanted to focus on school but I really don’t believe that sure it’s understandable but I don’t believe it. Do you think he will come back? What should I do? Why all of a sudden another girl? But 2 weeks before the break up he wasn’t really talking to me or wanting to make plans he kept blaming school. Please help!! I’m so upset!

admin

October 17, 2013 at 6:24 pm

The new girl could be a rebound. Though nothing is offcial yet right?

Are you planning on doing NC?
Emma

October 17, 2013 at 11:23 pm

I sent a message to u explaining more and I want to but he blocked me on social networks and unfollowed me and idk if he blocked my number and during school idk but I think I find him glancing at me sometimes but unsure I mean three years and to a new girl? Right away please help it would be great if u can email me or reply to my message it would be sooooo helpful
Emma

October 20, 2013 at 1:01 am

I just want to know if you received my message and do you think he is think about me and what do u think I can do about this I really want him back we shared such good memories I don’t see why it needs to end and I told u he blocked me on social networks does this mean he won’t want to see me again
admin

October 20, 2013 at 8:46 pm

The social networks thing. Do you have his number still? Do you have his email?

I guess I am asking if you have any way of reaching out to contact him?
admin

October 18, 2013 at 6:35 pm

Where did you email me? What email did you do it to I mean?
Emma

October 19, 2013 at 1:27 am

Like idk I was looking thru this website and it said I can send a message and I didn’t that but u can email me and it would help so much!!
admin

October 19, 2013 at 8:25 pm

Hi there Emma,

The best way to reach me is through Facebook.

Nicole

October 17, 2013 at 3:32 am

So my bf broke up with me after 3 years. He said he needed his space and time to figure himself out. He said also that I need to find myself again. He said he needed this cuz we have been fighting a lot more than ever before. I recently moved 2 hours away from him and it was aweome together. We are each other’s first in about everything. He has come to visit me every month and I been away for about a year. I’m about to move back over there he is to go to school in about 2 months. When he told me this it hit me hard cuz he knows I been wanting to go over there and I even asked to move in with me but he said he wasn’t comfortable enough for it. I am so sad and I know he just needs time to work on his full time job and even school school right now. I am 24 and he is 22. We are each other’s best friends and everything and he had to break it off via Facebook message I was hurt cuz he could even call me cuz he said it would have been harder. He told me he cried the day after it cuz it. I hasn’t talked to him in 3 days and it’s the longest we haven’t talked. It’s hard on me cuz I don’t have much things to do but work and hang with a few friends. It’s been weird at night cuz he use to call every night and text me every morning. For me I decided to delete my Facebook cuz I don’t want to feel more hurt. He did tell me he loves me but not the same as it was before and idk what that really means cuz I love him. He told me he wanted to be with me in the long fun before all this even mention we could get through anyrhing. He’s at home now with his parents and now they are making him pay rent so he’s stressed out cuz he can’t handle stress. ALSo he is on depression medicine as well. He did tell me that he needs this only for now and that maybe we can catch up in a few months and even try again. HE wants me to change some ways of myself like not always be dependable on him and make him my number one thing everyday like I was doing. Idk if I can keep thinking that this is hope for me that things can turn around cuz I will be back over there in a few months again. We have had stuff where he needed space so I didn’t talk to him for a day and he came back a day later to call me but this times it’s a break up and I know we have fought slot cuz of some ways he talked to mean and then I guess my actions made him mad. He just became really mean and just judge me in ways that I never thought he would have. I guess maybe asking a lot of questions he didn’t like that but I just wanted to be involved in his life since I am away. I just want to ask if there’s any hope for this at all. We are good together and don’t fight but this distance sucks and were both each other’s first and we told each other we only wanted to do it with one person. He still sleeps with my blanket I made him as well. He even told me he cried the day after cuz the next day he told me he needed to do this for himself. I am so lost and just feel like I lost my best friend. Is there any advice to keep a positive look on all this? When we had some space problems before he always came back the next day or so and now it’s been 3. And I know this month is tough for him with school. I hope you can help with this cuz I don’t want to lose him forever cuz I love him a lot. Right when he said he needed some space and he told me that he isn’t going to go off and date someone he just wanted to be alone for now and I can’t help but think it’s my fault I crowd him too much even being away. IS That even possible?

Nicole

October 20, 2013 at 9:20 pm

So what will be your best advice on all this? You think he’ll come around after a month? And honestly idk if I can be the first to text cuz he is one of those guys that likes his space and such. I just hope he misses me and it’s been a week already..
admin

October 22, 2013 at 12:54 am

I think at the end of the month YOU need to reach out to him the way I sugggest on this site and in the E-Book.
Nicole

October 24, 2013 at 10:38 am

So I sent you the message of what he said when he broke up with me saying he needs space from all the nights well at least him and that we both need to get our lives in order before maybe we can meet up or try again. And then said I have to do some productive things and he has to get his life on the right track. He told me he’ll always love me but not the same as before? And then said he isn’t gonna go out and date cuz he wants to just be left alone. Said he isn’t aettknf a date to see me cuz he needs this and wants to be independent right now..but then the next day my friend saw his status saying time for a new page in my life. One of his friends wrote job and he said well actually that can’t come fast enough but really a relationship switch up. Time to live it up! Like what ies that even mwan? Did what he tell me was just a nice way then saying he just wants to be single or did he just post that just cuz it’s Facebook for everyone to see. Something isn’t adding up right. Like out of the blue on all this? Then that day on the phone he told me he deleted my family from Facebook so they won’t talk to him and that if I come and bombard him with messages he was gonna delete me too…like why so harsh? I don’t understand at all. I hope you can help me. From a guys view. Now he posts photos on Instagram which isn’t anything bad but he never did ever before..he barely went on. I think I saw he still has my paper up on what I drew him and my blankets. But idk..should I reach out to him like beginning of next month too? I kind of want closure. This is too weird for me..
Nicole

October 24, 2013 at 9:03 pm

I will try my best and see how it goes. I think ill feel better by then too. Btw i told you i deactivated my facebook account the day after it happened cuz i couldnt bare to see anything on his page if there was anything that might be posted and make me upset. I know that its out of sight out of mind thing but like he thought i was always on before and id otn think he ever looked at my stuff but i guess i just wanted him to wonder what i was up to without me posting stuff on that or instagram..is this a good idea? I mean some ppl say to use it and post stuff about you being happy and having fun but idk im ready for that yet. My heart still hurts. Im thinking to open it up with photos when i go on my cruise next month..what should i do?
admin

October 26, 2013 at 12:57 am

Yea, I think that is completely a good idea.
Nicole

November 5, 2013 at 5:34 am

So I’m in a LDR thing and well since you know I can’t really bump into my ex or see him often so it’s more of an “out of sight out of mind” thing and is that bad?? Even when he doesn’t see me on Facebook on what I’m doing.? I post photos but not many. And I been doing the NC for about a month now and he has reached out twice and with one time I did answer him cuz he asked “so I take it you didn’t get I to the program” so I replied a day later than actually I did and he said congrats. I did that to prove him wrong and well haven’t said anything sinxe. I’m just worried I have a disadvantage on this cuz he can’t see me but I’m moon over there soon for school so idk what I should do before that. Anything? Wait for another text from him again? And is the out of sight out of mind thing bad?
Nicole

December 22, 2013 at 9:06 pm

So it’s been about two months and one month since I last talked to him and when he sent me that email that you said wasnt a good one. Exams and school is over so I’m not sure if I should reach out hen I move there in a few weeks. You said I should wait for him to say anything towards me. Since he said he has to do his own thing and doesn’t want a relationship right now cuz he has to do some other important things but it sucks cuz I wish I could talk to him but since he wants space and I haven’t even been on Facebook anymore so he doesn’t know what I been up to and well I see Instagram he likes other girls photos and it just sucks cuz idk if he misses me by now. I want to talk and meet up with him and he knows Ill be back there. But remember that first message he said maybe in a couple months well catch up or try again? But then this last one said it wouldn’t be healthy to jump in after two months. SO that means he lied to me about waning that? I’m confused and I miss him everyday. It not like I’m sitting at home doing nothing I’m doing stuff but it still hurts cuz I thought he hated not talking to me. So I just want to know if he ever did love me or miss me
admin

December 23, 2013 at 7:54 pm

Yes he did and yes he has. I think you are thinking about this way too much to be quite honest and it is making things much more emotional for you.
Nicole

December 5, 2013 at 5:10 pm

So I’ll be moving in about two months and it’s been about two months since the break up but we talked last month through those emails I sent you. So I haven’t said anything and idk when I should or since you saw he wants space you think I should just wait till he says something? He knows ill be moving there prob before Christmas and I think college finals are over next week. So what do you think I should do?
admin

November 5, 2013 at 6:10 pm

Hey check out the LDR guide!
Nicole

November 21, 2013 at 7:39 pm

This is an email he wrote before he sent me the last one cuz I told him how after this happened I change the look on things to like go do something you want to do for you and don’t rely on anyone. Also he said he is proud of me as well. But this was also about the one we went to the fair and like I don’t like most rides but I thought it was the thought that counts that I went but he thought why couldn’t she go on with me once but by then he knew I don’t like roller coasters I thought me going would be fun anyways to walk around and stuff. But apparently he was sad and thought I was too uptight but I wasn’t gonna do something I would feel to uncomfortable with. So this is what he said:
I hate a lot of things but I realize I only live once. I guess I want others to have an open mind to things and want the same kind of thought process to happen for others. That’s my problem Nicole and I know it. I.. for some reason want other people to care. I want people to care about life so damn much that I don’t care about my own life and how I’m wasting it. I’m not blaming you for anything, im just fucking writing whats in my heart out. Im expressing to you how I feel because, you wanted to know. Fuck, I just said I wanted to be alone and I told you we needed a break. There was no tremendous breakup or anything. Obviously we don’t see eye to eye on every subject matter and that’s why we argue. But I would like you to at least see from my point a view, maybe even a sliver of what I’m talking about…
Nicole

December 4, 2013 at 6:59 pm

So it’s been about two months. I’ll be moving there soon where he lives and not sure if I should reach out to him or let him come to me now.
Nicole

November 28, 2013 at 11:50 pm

Oh yeah I know that but when would be the time to reach out or should I just wait till he does.??
Nicole

November 27, 2013 at 5:24 am

So what should I do now if this guy doesn’t want to be bothered and when is it a good one to approach him or should I wait till he says something to me?
admin

November 27, 2013 at 8:16 pm

Well give him distance I think I have told you this before haha.
Nicole

November 23, 2013 at 10:21 pm

Also he pretty much told me he doesnt want a relationship right now in that email. He said he needs to figure himself out..
here is a bit on what he said in his other emails :
I know you miss me and might be moving here before Christmas, that’s great and all but I’m not ready for a relationship right now. I need to discover who I am. I have no one to blame but myself because I keep putting little priorities in from of the larger ones which is a mistake I made on my own. I hope you become a little more social so you have more friends because I honestly cannot drop everything I had on my plate to see you all the time. Maybe once you move back or something, I can see you once. It’s not really healthy though Nicole. We dated for almost three years and after a two month breakup, you want back in? We were important to me but it can’t be right now. There are bigger things that I am dealing with at the current moment. This email wasn’t support to make you feel like shit or anything but its how I felt. I see your view. All I can do is apologize but do not make me feel bad. Sorry.

thats the main parts I sent you on what he said to me and also this was the last one he sent me and I did not reply to him.
Nicole

November 23, 2013 at 10:16 pm

Not exactly worried. Just Idk what the next step to do after this. Just wait till he contacts me again? You said with this type of guy you need to give him alot of space..what type of guy is he?
admin

November 24, 2013 at 7:08 pm

Well he is the type who doesn’t want to feel he is being bothered.
Nicole

November 23, 2013 at 1:35 am

So then what should I do? Like how can I carefully approach him?
admin

November 23, 2013 at 7:35 pm

Be more specific about what you are worried about.
admin

November 22, 2013 at 7:10 pm

Yea… with this type of a guy you need to give him a lot of space and be really careful about how you approach him..
Nicole

November 5, 2013 at 5:36 am

I meant to say I post photos on Instagram and I will more when I go on my cruise.
admin

October 24, 2013 at 8:09 pm

Yea go for it. Reach out at the beginning of the month 🙂
Nicole

October 23, 2013 at 5:25 pm

So if i dont hear from him by the end of this month, is it okay I send him something when i am in town over there for school? What should i say to him that doesnt like all stalkerish but wants to maybe see what hes up to or just talk in some way. I know that im gonna want to talk to him by then when im in the same town he is. plus he wouldnt know i actually got into the school.
Nicole

October 30, 2013 at 3:43 pm

Okay I’ll try that. Should I ask how he’s doing too? Also you think he joked around with those girls just cuz I was away? I mean he never did when I lived there at all. They are like 18 year olds who work with him..well he only works there once a month. I never neglected him and not give him attention I def did over there and even did away by sending him cards or cute emails. He was def happy seeing me of course. I guess it was hard being away from each other. Idk why he would talk to them sometimes :/.
Nicole

October 29, 2013 at 11:37 pm

Yeah but if I gave him attention too why would he want to laugh and joke with them if he has me but like ends up sometimes being me and yelling at me..it’s like ever since I moved home he had to get attention from other ppl at work or something but even though I was talking to him everyday or seeing him ice a month he still had to. Why is that? Trying to distract himself? But now if he jokes with all them still he wouldn’t even bother with me anymore cuz I’m away 🙁 I mean I am going there again in two weeks for school. Should I say like sorry I been really busy moving and going to orientation for school, but I have been great. Is that something good to say?
admin

October 30, 2013 at 4:16 am

I like the “orientation” line absolutely.
Nicole

October 28, 2013 at 2:20 pm

Now don’t think I want to do anything snymore. Found stuff out on his twitter he was like kind of flirting but harmless to some girls I mean there not someone I should be worried about but one girl was 18 and like kind of just flirted with him on his page last yr to get to me he was like talking to her and told me he doesn’t anymore and only if he sees her out but he asks how her trip was and she asked how I was doing (no idea why) and just I feel betrayed like he didn’t care about my feelings. It’s like he was in love with me before I moved last yr then got so weird toward me and idk if him trying to get attention or in a way making everyone like him was a way for him to distract himself cuz I wasn’t there. But itss like also idk if I boosted his ego or something but why care way other ppl think of him but he would act mean sometimes toward me for no reason. Like I feel he didn’t respect my feelings at all. Before I found this out he did text me that day saying hope al is well for you nicole. I didn’t respond. That a good idea? Now idk what I want to do cuz Idk if he ever really cares about me or my feelings..
admin

October 29, 2013 at 2:36 am

Yup still a good idea I think.

I wouldn’t overreact over him flirting with some girls though. Seriously take a deep breath and realize he is a guy and all guys like attention.
Nicole

November 1, 2013 at 6:42 pm

I know you said guys like attention and all would he be doing that cuz I’m away? I mean I talked to him all the time and never ignored him. I feel like it was some type of distraction for missing me. He doesn’t like a bunch of attention anyways so he hangs with a few ppl but still. I was always there for him. Not sure why at times he tend to be mean towards me, more like a bully. Like when ppl feel bad about themselves and their lives they take it out on other ppl especially someone who loves them. Is that the case? I’m not sure. I’m still hurt and it sucks but I hope what all you say is true and reaches out to me again.
Nicole

October 31, 2013 at 12:30 am

Could it be cuz of the distance with me and him to distract himself? This is normally not him when we were together he didn’t bother with anyone else or something cuz they were all friends and they prob all are but it’s like also I didn’t tell you that this last month he started to some how always insult what I do, like saying the blanket I made him it was just nothing cuz I didn’t sew it I just tied it and then saying I should be more productive (when all I do is work to save up money) and I should read educational books like he does to learn different stuff like he knows stuff about computers, and that we shouldn’t move in cuz he said he isn’t ready (after 3 years) he did use to stay with me a lot when I lived over there but he always went home after 3 days. Not he’s if it’s cuz he likes his space or what cuz he’s an introvert but it was odd I would think a guy would like to stay over if I let him play his games and cook dinner too. And I think the random fights on the phone about who knows cuz I don’t remember since they weren’t important. More cuz I hates when he hung with these 4 young girls at his work and they aren’t attractive but like I don’t go off and hang with other guys? He always told me just trust me and I do but the whole point is it isn’t right cuz he said his guy friend went too but idk. I knew one of the girls cuz I use to work with her and idk I just feel my feelings weren’t important enough. He always told me and wrote me plenty of love notes he would never hurt me and would do anything to make me happy cuz it hurts him when I’m hurt since I’m the first guy he has ever opened up to (I think that’s till true) I think if I do move back there things would be better than being away from each other. I just hope I get a second chance and he wants it but I have no way to even say anything about it to him or act on it. I know he’s stressed with work and school full time and volunteer work and trying to live out of his parents place but I just hope he remembers the love and all the good times we shared. He made me feel strong being over here cuz he always told me he would never give up no matter how hard it is and I should never lose faith in him and I never did! So what do I do now 🙁 i want to talk in person when I’m over there but idk if I should wait till he reaches out to me?
admin

October 31, 2013 at 7:23 pm

I think the distance thing could be a factor certainly.

I really really really think you need to grasp this attitude:

“I want him back but I don’t NEED him back.”
Nicole

November 7, 2013 at 2:13 am

So then what is the next step that I have to do? Like some say to reach out when im over there like send a message but idk if I want to or i dont want to feel rejected like he wouldnt get the hint that im in town for school adn want to talk. Some of my friends say to just wait till he says something else to you since he already knows im gonna go to school there so maybe later on he will want to see when im gonna be moving over there as well i hope. Since i kind of responded him a little before the 30 days do I have to start over? or does that not count cuz it wasnt an actually conversation since I just told him that I did get into the program and left it like that?
Nicole

November 12, 2013 at 5:40 pm

Well I would like him in my life cuz we have so much fun together and that like we get alone together and it feel happier with him but it’s not like I can’t live without him.
Oh ya so sven though he’s upset and I guess confused too he still wouldn’t want to talk to me?
admin

November 13, 2013 at 6:22 pm

Sometimes when you are confused and upset you don’t want to talk to a girl.
Nicole

November 11, 2013 at 4:09 pm

Just curious, if a guy really was upset like emotional wise hearing from you and then he knows he misses you then why can’t they come around and talk to you? i know he said he likes his space and to get stuff done for himself but i just dont get why you would want to put yourself through pain and hurt in your heart when all you had to do was just talk to the person..idk maybe he needs his space for now to get stuff done. but it wasnt like i lived over there. I am all confused 🙁 whaat makes boys do this. why cant they just talk to the person.? and its been a month as well.
admin

November 11, 2013 at 7:10 pm

Men don’t like talking about feelings b/c they aren’t used to it.
Nicole

November 10, 2013 at 11:33 pm

Yeah I just realized we do have alot of conversations going on at once haha my bad I didn’t know I was doing that.
What did you mean saying I am better off with what?
admin

November 11, 2013 at 5:59 pm

Its no problem its just I am answering blind sometimes haha.

Are you better off with him or without him?
Nicole

November 10, 2013 at 11:50 am

If it’s a good sign he was upset and prob didn’t mean the stuff he said in the beginning cuz he was angry then really deep down he prob is regretting an missing me. I just think he has a lot on his plate like full time school and work and volunteer stuff. He can just do his own thing and pass classes. I just didn’t know if I should still give him space or go there next week and try and give him his stuff back if he wants it cuz he never asked for it. I mentioned it but he didn’t say anything. So idk what’s best to do cuz I don’t want to make him angry at me.
admin

November 10, 2013 at 10:03 pm

Give him space and he won’t be angry with you anymore. Plus you will be better off personally!
Nicole

November 10, 2013 at 12:18 am

So if that’s a good sign what do I do now?
admin

November 10, 2013 at 9:40 pm

We have so many conversations going on I completely forgot the context of this one hahaha.
Nicole

November 9, 2013 at 1:40 am

So why would he say that but then get emotional like during the call? Like he didn’t mean what he said in the beginning cuz he is still at the emotional stage right?
admin

November 10, 2013 at 12:32 am

Its possible if he said angry things in an emotional place that he may not have meant them.
Nicole

November 9, 2013 at 1:37 am

One thing is he told me he is happier this way and I was like freaking out and that’s when I called him and he said he was gonna text me the answer but he said he likes his space and stuff and that he can go to bed earlier and everyrhing I’m like what happened to never giving up on each other and always working on it he said there comes a point where it gets too much at times and all I’m like we were suppose to always work stuff out he then goes off on me (during when I was talking with you by accident lol) and saying how I always want him to take time off here and the cruise and it got too much cuz he didn’t think I would care that he was too busy to go and such I’m like you never gave me the chance to even come here and talk to me about it when you were here. He’s like fine then it’s my fault and that’s when he got all sad cuz then I called again and he was talking and got all emotional around me. So idkk what to think 🙁
Nicole

November 8, 2013 at 10:28 pm

And when I did text him after the phone call asking about his stuff and just saying I understand all this and respect his space he was all Nicole stop. It was a civil conversation I will block your number if you don’t stop cuz I just want my space and I’m like well don’t need to be a jerk about it but I understand and well talk when the time is ready..I must have really gotten to him. You think?
admin

November 10, 2013 at 12:20 am

Yes I do think hahaha.
Nicole

November 8, 2013 at 8:53 pm

i am right about what?? that in a way its a good sign he was upset talking to me on the phone? Or that I can come by his place with his stuff and my friend told me that i should give him a letter not like declaring my feelings but just tell him what I have learned and realized from all this in a sense. Ia thata good idea or no?
admin

November 9, 2013 at 11:59 pm

In a way its a good sign he was upset talking to you on the phone.
Nicole

November 8, 2013 at 5:10 pm

So what next to do? Here is an update on what happened yesterday: So he ended up texting me yesterday asking can I help you Nicole? At first I remember on Halloween I texted his sister in law happy bday and she asked how I was and all and about me and him and I told her how we broke up and she’s like omg I am so sorry your going through this. Then I told her I’m going there for school but idk about places yet and she said she would help me out cuz her mom works for apartment complexes well just know good ones. So I think she might have said something to him about me. Well anyways I asked abut what and he’s like my sister in law is not hooking us back up you know why this happened. I’m like actually idk the real reason and also I never told her to ask you anything about us. I’m like is it cuz were tryin to get our shit together cuz I am. Then he’s like but your not. So I got pissed cuz I am. I’m focusing on myself, getting a new job, going to school and moving. So I told him don’t text me this and be an adult and talk to me on the phone. At first he didn’t answer then he called and said he didn’t pick up first cuz he was volunteering. So anyways the short story of it all he was crying on the phone saying he didn’t want to get emotional towards me cuz he’s crying cuz he is hearing my voice. He pretty much said he likes his space right now and doesn’t want a gf cuz he’s trying to pass his classes and get another job and voluneer. He said I get so stress cuz I want him to visit and asked about the cruise and he just couldn’t take it. I told him he could have came here and talked to me in person how he felt cuz I would have understood and he goes fine it’s my fault then and hangs up. Of course I call back cuz I’m like look, I just want to talk calmly on everything. So he told me that a year ago when I got my own place it scared him I came so dependent on him. So that’s why he was scared to move in with me. So then I’m like I know I messed up I see that now I didn’t take care of myself. I told him that I have changed and that I realized what I did and I’m doing stuff for myself and if chances with us happened I wouldn’t do that again. He said his heart hurts everyday and that he does love me. I asked him what he meant by catching up again and trying it he said that he thinks that after we get our stuff together that it could happen again. The whole time I hear him sniffling and he said he is getting emotional hearing my voice. But this whole time I’m not even crying! Anyways I think this is a good closure thing in a way cuz now I know it’s not another girl, it’s just we been fighting from bing away too long and he has so much stuff to work on. He said that he proud of me for going back here and going to school again. I told him I’m proud he is going far as well. I even mentioned I was gonna be in town next week and he said he doesn’t know if he can see me cuz he doesn’t want to seem emotional towards me. He told me he is so sorry for all the mean stuff he said to me and wish he could take it back. Is that a good sign when a guy cries? Like honestly I seen him cry twice. When his grandma died and when I moved away. And I told you he doesn’t show his emotions all that well. I was thinking to even try and give him his stuff back when I’m there cuz even afterwards he told me he doesn’t want to talk he wants his space and he likes his space for now. And like he told me he didn’t want to talk about it. I was thinking maybe to try and see him to do that and talk? Or what. I mean he cried and it makes me feel that I’m not the only one hurting. He knows he needs to worry about himself now but I have a feeling when I come back he’ll talk to me again. What do you think?
admin

November 8, 2013 at 7:24 pm

Hahah always trust your gut. And I think you are right.
Nicole

November 8, 2013 at 5:07 pm

So what is the next step to do?
admin

November 8, 2013 at 7:10 pm

Next step after what? Sorry lost our conversation context hate it when that happens.
admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:57 pm

NO I guess you continue the process.
Nicole

October 31, 2013 at 11:58 pm

Yeah I’m thinking the distance thing is and maybe when I’m over there again it could work out but better this time! And okay I will! Thanks for your help. I don’t actually need him but it’s nice to have him around cuz he is like me in a way. Just hoping time is good and would you think he’ll text me again if I haven’t? I mean the hope is all well for you isn’t exactly he wants an answer back, am I right?
Nicole

November 13, 2013 at 2:22 am

So I did the 30 day no contact but last week after that phone he said he doesn’t want to talk to me right now and idk how long I should even wait cuz he likes his space. Was thinking when school is over in dec and he’s not so busy too. Is that a good idea?
admin

November 13, 2013 at 7:26 pm

Sure I think that could work.
Nicole

November 6, 2013 at 2:52 am

So since he knows I am going to school over there since i told him, I am thinking that when i go there next week to reach out to him and to see and ask hows he doing and see if he replies, maybe try to mention that im there for school in town so maybe he would want to talk if he wants to but i wont be pushing the subject. Every one of those posts you have done i have read about every one of them like 3 times that applies to me. The LDR post some stuff idk if i should do since i will be living in the same area as him in like a month. Should I not reach out to him next week and let him say something else towards me? I feel like in my gut i should. Idk i just either want some closure of some kind of at least just chat and catch up. I also read about what type of guys think during the no contact and idk if hes doing all that. He is stubborn at times but he has reached out to me twice in liek 3 weeks since all of this happened. He could be busy with school and everything to keep his mind off things and thats why he goes and hangs with those girls or whatever. I am hurt more cuz one of them i never liked and he still like is friends with her for idk why and like it hurts to see he cares about their friendship cuz hes thinking hes not doing anythign wrong cuz he doesnt like her but she flirts to get to me and make me mad and he never saw that. Shes this muslim 17 year old girl that idk why he wouldnt respect my feelingss when i told him plenty of times i didnt like her at her but he still did it behind my back cuz i found he was on twitter at times talking to her and her sister and also when we went to a concert when he was here he was tweeting her while he was with me! I know this cuz i saw the time he post stuff i am like omg was i just not that important enough to respect my feelings after 3 years? It doesnt make sense to me cuz i am hurt and angry but i just want to talk in person or ill never feel better about any of this. I done everything and been through so much stufff with him i wouldnt even know if he feels hurt or anythign still..i know the fights just killed our bond and it sucks cuz were away from each other i just hope hell want to see me in person. Is that a good idea to do that? I just hope by the time i go over there we can be talking and such cuz ill feel alone over there since my sister is moving back home and my friend is moving too so ill be all alone cuz i have so many memories over there with him that it wont be the same if we dont talk. Ill take things slow and not rush it like you have said i just hope all this stuff works and is true. 🙁
admin

November 6, 2013 at 5:21 pm

The stuff does work and it is true but in the end the ultimate decision is up to your ex boyfriend.
Nicole

November 5, 2013 at 7:43 pm

Well thanks! I’m trying my best in what you said. So do I stil wait till he says something else or can next week when I’m over there reach out to him? It will be over 30 days and I did read the new NC one! It actually really helped a lot. Even thou he has a few problems (depression as well) but this site def helps me out. I was thinking to just ask how he’s doing. I feel that is what my gut is telling me to do. Gonna act all calm and everything like you said. :)!
admin

November 6, 2013 at 4:48 pm

Calm is good but also trusting your gut on things isn’t a horrible idea either.
Nicole

November 5, 2013 at 3:37 am

If the latest guide is about what the guy thinks during the no contact period and which guy is him? I’m not sure which guy he is. Kind of stubborn but he did reach out to me twice and of course I answered him a day later telling him actually I did get into the program while he wrote congrats and I left it at that. He did text me first saying hope your doing well Nicole then a week later texted me so I take it you didn’t get into the program. So I waited a day to respond cuz I had to prove him wrong and I haven’t said anything since. Am I doing everything good? Now gotta wait till he says anything else?
admin

November 5, 2013 at 6:00 pm

You are. I like your patient and measured approach.
Nicole

November 4, 2013 at 9:07 pm

What latest guide should I read?
admin

November 5, 2013 at 5:19 pm

Probably the NC one!
Nicole

November 3, 2013 at 6:06 pm

So I went and texted him saying actually I did get in and he said congrats and that was it. But my friend told me that lately he’s been going out with these 4 girls from work all the time now and they are younger than him like 17-18 and now I’m thinking that’s all he wanted to do. They work at publix when he works like once a month but one of the girls that goes is one I never liked and well guess he never cared about my feelings cuz she hangs with him still but she’s like not a threat cuz she’s all young and. A Muslim but still and now I feel like what he told me about figuring out his own life was a lie and that he just wanted to go out with all those girls just him and not have me tell him that’s not right to. Like he has no guy friends for some reason. He’s like the gay friend in the group but still now I feel like all hope is lost and he just lied to me..what do I do now? Do guys do that to distract themselves? I mean he wouldn’t has asked if I got in if he didn’t care right?
admin

November 4, 2013 at 4:52 pm

Have you read my latest guide?
Nicole

November 3, 2013 at 12:22 am

Okay and well he did send me a text last night saying I take it you didn’t get into the program (yesterday was the day I would find out if I got into the program and he remembers me telling him that nov 1 was the day) but why say something such in a negative way? I mean I wouldn’t tell him cuz he’s the one didnt want to be part of my life. Is he saying that cuz I didn’t tell him and he figured I would? So now what do I do. Idk how to reply to that?? guess it’s good he reaches out again?
admin

November 3, 2013 at 5:44 pm

Very good he is responding.

Umm… what do you think is the best course forward. What is your gut telling you?
Nicole

November 1, 2013 at 6:39 pm

Haha sorry! I meant to agree that the distance probably took a toll on us, I am hoping by the time I move over there and in school or some way down the road he’ll reach out again to me. I’m hoping we can start fresh and I know I’ll have everything set with school and my job as well. I sent you the text he said which was “hope all is well for you Nicole” don’t think that’s a text to respond back to. Should I still reach out after 30 days or just wait again till he says something more. ??
admin

November 2, 2013 at 6:20 pm

I think I send you a bad reply before. I got my wires crossed.

Anyways, I still do think you should reach out after your 30 days.
admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:24 pm

Sorry your last statement I can’t dissect no matter how hard I try hahaha.
Nicole

October 31, 2013 at 12:32 am

I meant first girl he has ever opened up to not guy lol
Trust me I’m not a guy!
Nicole

October 24, 2013 at 8:00 pm

So would a good time to reach out would be when I’m in town over there? Just not sure how to exactly say it (I read your page thou) we haven’t seen each other in person for about a month now and I think my mind set would be different and I kind of want to meet up and talk or have some closure of some kind.
admin

October 26, 2013 at 12:50 am

I think so but only if YOU feel comfortable with it.
Nicole

October 24, 2013 at 1:24 am

Yes send him one during then but my friends say i shouldnt and just let him come to me since he is the one that did this. Not sure what to do really 🙁 I just dont want to ruin any chances but Im scared to be the first to reach out towards him, my friends say to wait till thanksgiving. what do you think?
admin

October 24, 2013 at 7:39 pm

Eventually you will have to take a chance. Don’t get too comfortable in NC.
admin

October 23, 2013 at 10:31 pm

Do you mean send him a text?
admin

October 17, 2013 at 6:09 pm

When you say you crowd him too much (even when you are away.) Does that mean that you texted him more than you should have?
Nicole

October 18, 2013 at 1:54 am

More like always wanting to talk to him and like he knows I like talking to him and it’s been about 5 days with no contact and I haven’t and just can this ever happen again? Me and him? If a guy didnt want anything to do with you again he wouldn’t have said maybe we can catch up and try again, would he?
Nicole

October 19, 2013 at 9:26 pm

Im not sure if thats good or bad on what you said about all that being neutral signs. and also he broke up with me and he knew i prob be wanting to talk to him so thats why he said he is gonna have to ignore me but i havent spoken to him since that day anyways. and you never answered about you said when i asked that when he said that maybe in a couple months we can catch up or try again and you said that he was serious about it and so if thats the case what makes you think that?
Nicole

October 26, 2013 at 2:09 am

And I meant movin on *from me. And I know he said it needs to be done but I don’t agree at all I don’t understand why it had to he wouldn’t explain much but only that message that he kept saying he needs space..like it’s been 3 weeks and just haven’t heard from him and I don’t think I ever will 🙁
Nicole

October 26, 2013 at 2:06 am

I know I sent you this before but idk what to take on the break up message he sent me..btw this was through Facebook! And I’m gonna ask your honest opinion if really all he said like would there ever be a chance again??? He couldn’t even let me say anything on the phone about it 🙁
Nicole, I just want to solidify my comment the other day to breaking this relationship. It’s not hard, for me or yourself but it’s something I think needs to be done. After the consistent arguments, I think we (at least me) need space and to call you again to tell you I think will just make the process even harder. You are and will always be special to me, after all your my first. Theres no hate invovled, just trying to move forward with the best intentions. Maybe in a few months or so we could catch up or try again but we need to get our lives in order. You need to do some productive, constructive things and get your life on track. I’m trying to get away my situation and try to go forward to get my own life on track. I’m going to have to ignore your calls and texts right now because it doesn’t make it easy for either of us. Take care.

When he said moving forward on the best intentions, is that saying like he’s trying to move on for me? :'(
Nicole

October 24, 2013 at 8:03 pm

Well if you have good success then I should try it. I want to try it when I’m town cuz idk when the next time I’ll be and prob in dec. I will have a better mindset then and see if he could meet up and chat or something..not sure how to exactly say it.
Nicole

October 23, 2013 at 9:54 pm

Yes I am still doing the NC thing with him. Its been about 2 weeks almost. Ppl say you shouldnt do it cuz then they might lose the connection and then you said you should cuz it will make them miss you but if he has so much other stuff going on and just wants to be single and do his own thing idk if he ever will contact me 🙁 im thinking mid nov when im over there and it will be over 30 days if i should text him like hey how are things instead of like im in town or something..im just scared i dont want to mess anything up 🙁
admin

October 24, 2013 at 7:28 pm

Well, I don’t know about other people but I have had great success with NC 🙂
Nicole

October 22, 2013 at 3:08 pm

It looks like he just wanted to be single and trust me when I say he isn’t the type to go off with other girls not a lot of ppl find him cute but I do. I know maybe he just wanted no one to be on his back about stuff. I’m not sure cuz this was shocking I thought he wanted to change things but didn’t know he wanted to go and hang with friends and be single and all..thought he needed to get a better job and all. I saw photos with friends that posted stuff and it’s nothing harmless just sucks 🙁 my friend told me I should say something to him by thanksgiving since it be over a month. He’s 22 and I’m 24 and he hasn’t had a gf or anything besides me and idk if he got scared or something but it just really hurts cuz I know it’s been a a week but not sure what to think 🙁 help?
admin

October 23, 2013 at 8:00 pm

Well are you currently doing NC?
Nicole

October 22, 2013 at 12:38 am

Also he did tell me that when on the day of the break up i asked maybe we can take this month and not talk and meet up the following month and he said i cant set a date to see you right now i just want to be alone. Is that anyway a good sign like he really does want to see me again??? This LDR took a big toll on his i think and i hope we can catch up and start again when i move where he is at… you think?
Nicole

October 22, 2013 at 12:07 am

I guess I could say it still feels weird that after a week we havent talked. I mean I know hes prob not even thinking of us right now cuz he has too much on his plate with full time work and school and volunteer stuff. Plus it sucks being long distance cuz i read the LDR post and like we did skype and saw each other about once a month but i still felt it wasnt enough cuz we would always have fun and idk why he wouldnt bring up what has been bugging him then? he did come and see me a month ago. I thought everything was fine and I guess it seems like our love faded a bit from being away and even fighing over dumb stuff he would bring up. Do you think he is still overwelmed with everythign going on like his full time job, school and even his parents most likely? I mean i guess he cant really get rid of school and all and idk i feel like he just gave up on me when he told me he would never give up on us no matter how hard it is. I hope and wish he will see that things have changed and i have my whole life going on good now, starting up school soon, moving, got a roommate and finding another store to work at over there when i move. I just hope he would give me another chance that things have changed. He only said maybe to me but like he wouldnt haev said maybe well catch up or try again if he didnt mean it right? I mean im going over there in a month (it will be over the 30 day no contact rule) and like should i even mention something to him that im over there for school? or like would he talk to me by then cuz idk. he has to figure his stuff out prob before he even talks to me again 🙁
Nicole

October 21, 2013 at 1:36 am

So I sent you the message he sent to me and it was through facebook and i was at work and idk if he knew i was but i felt like i was just nothhing that he couldnt call me to talk to me on the phone, he said he was gonna do that or email. I just feel like it was a slap in the face, like why do guys do such things? I mean idk why the phone would be harder to talk on but i did call him and he finally picked up that day and sound angry on the phone and was like your not gonna change my mind and i said i wasnt and just asked whats up and hes like i have to do this right now and like wouldnt let me talk cuz i told him how i was angry at him for all this that i couldnt even get a phone call and all and like hes all I cried yesterday all day before i did this. im like aw why? and he didnt say much to me so idk what that even means when they cry or if he did. and he still says he sleeps with the blanket i made him. He did tell me on the phone that very same day we can be friends or something later im like i cant just be friends with you, i love you too much hes like im not gonna talk anymore about this and like hangs up 🙁 it was so sad cuz he couldnt even tell me anything on the phone but he would message me fine back and im like why csnt he text or even like call me to talk to me on the phone? I mean you said in your other pages how when guys are angry its cuz they still care about you? and also he told me just cuz your moving back here doesnt mean we are gonna get back together and so well i know you also said on your other pages (yes i am huge fan on this site cuz it makes me feel positive it will work out :)) that what they say to you in the beginning of the break up its just all the emotions all at once and to not take it personal. am i right? I really hope there is hope for us. I just hope when i move over there or even visit next month he will talk to me by then…
admin

October 22, 2013 at 1:20 am

I will get around to it later today. Today has been the most comments I have ever received so it may take a while.
Nicole

October 21, 2013 at 12:59 am

I read the post about what have made your bf break up with you and stuff if you boring or not loving enough. Well I know none of that stuff on that page is the reason. Since the day we dated till this whole time I always showed that I cared for him. I wrote him emails when he was at work so he can get them on break when he had service, telling him hope he has a good day, and even when he wasnt having a good day I still would say something. When he was studying for a computer test and even though he wasnt doing good for the tests i still told him I was proud of him and that he can do it even though he had little faith in himself. I use to write notes and leave them on his car when I lived near him at the time last year, It always made him smile. when i moved it was hard to do cute thingd for each other. I use to send him I miss you cards with little puzzles inside where he would have to spell out what I was trying to say, I still sent him cute texts throughout the day telling him I loved him and hope he had a good day. I was always supportive no matter what. I think maybe since I moved away our little spark was fading, but when we saw each other it came back always! and it was about once a month for a weekend we would see each other. either i would drive to him or he would come this way. We did skype or tried to at least once a week or so. sometimes he had too much hw going on and we couldnt. and i knew this month he had alot going on, he has full time work adn school and volunteer on the weekends so he barely had any time. We talked every night still and he made time for that and it was sometimes short but that was alright i understood. We would fight over dumb stuff at the time but he became so angry at me at times. Like i was waiting to hear from this schoool if i got accepted and all he could think about is what if you dont get in there, what are you going to do? Im like well I think i will get accepted (which I did ) and well I havent thought of it just yet but I would most likely apply for the following semester and find another job. Hes like okay i wouldnt want to be with someone whose still at publix (where I work) till their 30, ( im only 24) and i wouldnt want to be, he kept saying all this stuff to me like putting me down at times and it was really odd cuz he told me he wouldnt even put me down but help me and lift me up. Im not sure if cuz he doesnt haev a set path for himself right now so he had to take his anger out on me, is this true for guys? Its just really weird to me. he did tell me that he wants to find another job cuz he hates the one he has and only been there for 4 months cuz he worked at publlix before. And also his degree in school psychology doesnt haev alot of jobs around so i think hes trying to figure out what he wants to do. He is big into computers so i think he wants to do something with that. Im not sure though and i know his dad is always hard on him all the time wanting him to go far in his life for his job to make money. He was really sweet to me most of the time together, leave me cute love letters in my room, even notes around my place, cooked me dinner, surprised me when I came back to my place over there when i was gone, he toook me places for my bday always. He was just really sweet and never showed his mean side really until i moved home. Idk if it was the distance that he was mad about cuz he didnt want me to move but i had to to get my own life together for myself and go back to school and figure things out and i did do that but during that time i sort of stopped some stuff i wanted to do to always want to ask him when we will see each other, or skype or anything liek that and like idk if everything overwhelmed him idk. I know were each others first and thats really special to both of us cuz we waited to do anything till after our 1 year. so my questions are, do guys take their anger out on ppl they love cuz their not happy whats going on in their lives right now? I mean I never put him down or anything i always encouraged him in any way I can. He did send me stuff for our anniversary which was a pandora bracelet with charms and even on vday he did and my bday he came to see me which was in july and got me a charm as well. all of them were stuff i liked, a heart that says i love you, a cat on a chair and seashell. he was also just over here a month ago visiting and went to see a concert together and everything was fine. But another question I have is that I am suppose to go over there in about 2 weeks for my orientation for school and that will be over 30 days, do you think he will contact me before then? i mean it would be a good time to catch up cuz it would be a little over a month but idk. and idk if i should say anything to him since he said he just wanted to be left alone and have his space. what do you think???
admin

October 22, 2013 at 1:16 am

Whoa this was long haha.

I don’t know if he will contact you or not. I don’t want to give you false hope. Though, You can always contact him after your NC!
Nicole

October 20, 2013 at 9:10 pm

I actually did read he LDR post. And how would I be the ungettable girl if I don’t live there yet? I’m going in nov for orientation for school. That would be over the month and I know he said he wants space and all well idk would it be to let him know by then tht I’m in town? And also I did mention to him at the break up on why don’t we not talk for a month then try and meet up next month and he goes I’m not giving you a date on when I will see you, I just want to be left alone. And with him doing the NC thing well told me it and I haven’t mention anything to him about me getting in the school over there you think he’ll ever come around and talk to me? I know it takes time and all and he knows I’m suppose to find out about my school by the end of this month so I know he might be wondering if I did or didn’t. So what should I do when the 30 day comes up for NC? And so when he said he wants to catch up or try again he really meant it? Were both each other’s first does that have todo with anything too?
admin

October 22, 2013 at 12:51 am

Be the UG BEFORE you get there. You need to be it now.
admin

October 20, 2013 at 8:38 pm

Neutral generally means it is neither good nor bad haha.
Because if he didn’t mean what he said he would have simply not mentioned it.
admin

October 18, 2013 at 6:46 pm

Some would to be nice but I think he was being serious when he said it to you.
Nicole

October 20, 2013 at 4:42 am

So what does that mean he’s doing a NC thing on me is that bad? Or like what do I do to go about it? And also you said he was serious about maybe wanting to catch up or try again in a few months. What makes you think that?
admin

October 20, 2013 at 8:55 pm

Not necessarily it just means it gives you time to become the ungettable girl again!
Nicole

October 19, 2013 at 9:20 pm

So what do you mean they are all neutral signs meaning what? And yeah he told me that he is gonna ignore my calls and such but i havent spoke to him since the break up and he knows i prob would want to call him and talk. So what do i do now? and we live 2 hours away. but i just found out i am moving over there in dec for school! I applied over there in the beginning of the year.
admin

October 20, 2013 at 8:36 pm

Hmmm you may want to take a read of the LDR post.
Nicole

October 19, 2013 at 3:34 pm

Here is the message he sent me:

Nicole, I just want to solidify my comment the other day to breaking this relationship. It’s not hard, for me or yourself but it’s something I think needs to be done. After the consistent arguments, I think we (at least me) need space and to call you again to tell you I think will just make the process even harder. You are and will always be special to me, after all your my first. Theres no hate invovled, just trying to move forward with the best intentions. Maybe in a few months or so we could catch up or try again but we need to get our lives in order. You need to do some productive, constructive things and get your life on track. I’m trying to get away my situation and try to go forward to get my own life on track. I’m going to have to ignore your calls and texts right now because it doesn’t make it easy for either of us. Take care.
What do you think of it?
admin

October 19, 2013 at 8:55 pm

Whoa he is doing NC on YOU!
Nicole

October 19, 2013 at 2:44 am

Also, I wa very good to him. I would never put him down and always encouraged him when he was feeling sad. I treated him well bought him surprise gifts especially a shirt and a poster from his favorite band and another shirt when we went to a concert and he had no idea. He did love them. He treated me well too. Took me out and also bought things for me and even got me a pandora bracelet for Christmas and then every holiday and my bday and our two years he got me a charm. He use to clean my apartment for me when I lived near him, watch my place and cat when I visited my family, he use to always cool dinner and surprised me when I was on my way back there and he was there. I think then he was happy where he was (we both worked at publix and that’s where we met) and he was doing good in school and he just moved back home so it wasn’t like stressed out yet. We waited to have sex about a year into our relationship cuz we both wanted to make sure we wanted to do it with this one person only. We talked about moving in together but he didn’t like to say much cuz he said he felt scared so I didn’t bring it up again. When I moved home a couple months later things got rocky. He did the same thing about 3 months into me being home when he had so much work at school to do he would flip out on me, always hated when I brought up when he was gonna come visit me. I wasn’t in school that time but he was and I was just working. At New Years he was suppose to come here and then he kept being sort of harsh about it and he didn’t come and broke up with me on the phone at my work. He was suppose to come that day. Later on that day he told me he wasn’t taking my photos down in his room or anything but I wouldn’t respond I was heart broken. Later on he sent me a long mesage saying how hurt he feels and he always will love me and that he wants this to work out so bad that he gets so upset when we fight cuz he misses me. Didn’t say anything then and he texted me good night. His excuse on breaking up was to find himself then and figure out what he wanted to do with his life cuz he wanted out of publix and onto something else. So we finally talked like 2 days later and met up the end of the week and made up. So as you can see it sort of happened before but now this time he hasn’t talked to me since that day and told me he’s been sleeping with my blanket still that I hand made him. And he cried the day after it happened cuz it happened on a Monday officially and he cried on sunday. If a guy didnt care he wouldn’t cry? I just rethink everything that has happened and just hope maybe he will come around cuz now since he did get another job after that he hates this one and school is still stressful then ever. From being full time work and school and then have to volunteer but only can on weekends and so also his parents want him to find something better as well cuz they know his job is not what he wants to do and I think his parents is on his case about him moving forward with a good job that in a way he had to let us go to figure it out. I just want to know from a guys view on all this cuz I’m stil very hurt but I just think I’m glad he just wants this cuz of workig on himself then him wanting to find other ppl cuz he never said that. Just said we gotta find ourselves and get our life on track. Even thou I don’t live in the same area as him I just hope he will some how remember me all the time and come back. Please help!
admin

October 19, 2013 at 8:35 pm

I am a little confused. How far apart do you guys live?
Nicole

October 19, 2013 at 2:15 am

Also since I deactivate my Facebook account and also haven’t posted on Instagram and he’s still my friend, is that a good thing he can’t see what I’m up to or what I’m doing and that will make him wonder and miss me? Or at this point is he just worrying about his future more than thinking of us? I’m getting ready to change my ways on things and do things for myself and figure out about school and what not, I just hope he’ll see I have change and that I don’t always have to be dependent on him. That was my problem and he told me before to worry about myself for no but I didn’t listen and just always worried about us and always asked questions on the phone a lot like when he was out with friends and I guess sometimes that just was always annoying cuz he rather just talk then question each other. I’m still very broken inside and I have high hopes that he will talk to me again. I find out I get into this program at school at the end of this month and he knows that and I’m hoping by then he will come aeound. This is the longest it has ever been not talking. He love talking to me all the time and he is my best friend that knows a lot. Idk how long it usually takes guys to figure his school and career out or even start missing a girl. I just want to know is there any hope and NC thing is still going. He did post a photo on insta holding up a pic of his fav bands new Albulm saying makes my week a lot better and the beginning of this week we broke up. Is that a good sign as well as him not asking for his stuff back?
admin

October 19, 2013 at 8:34 pm

I think they are all neutral signs personally.
Nicole

October 18, 2013 at 11:24 pm

Serious about wanting to catch up and try it again? I know some just be nice about it but what makes you think he was being serious? And also I have some of his stuff at my place like his shirts and a pillow and he has a few things of mine as well. So what’s the best idea to do about this? Thinking that he isn’t a type of guy to go out and find someone else cuz he isn’t like that he’s quiet and shy and introvert. He likes to be by himself and I guess so much overwhelmed him so he couldn’t get rid of his parents or even school or work so he had to like put as aside as I would say. Is any of what I’m saying true?
admin

October 19, 2013 at 8:14 pm

Yes, pretty much all of it haha.

Jay

October 17, 2013 at 12:56 am

Hi, so i need some help. Well maybe an opinion and some advice. Iv read almost everything on this site and I must say you are very smart. What an awesome way to help people. So you probably hear everyone’s stories and I feel like this place is my last resort. I’ll start with saying I dated my ex for 3 years. It’s been very very rocky. We started by having a baby, we were just “friends with Benefits” and he was younger then me. But we kept the baby and he stuck around for me. We have been having issues for the last 2 Years. But recently, I wasn’t feeling loved or that he cared about me to I broke up and moved out. Kinda in a whim to make him see how much I meant to him. Well since that day it’s done nothing but take a nose dive. The day I broke up with him was on my birthday,(sept 21st) and I went out that night and some guy kissed me and of course it was witnessed and went right back to him well now he’s mad at me. I guess I would be to. But that set things wayyyy back. Now he hates me won’t talk to me and won’t face me. So Iv been trying, yes trying to NC him. I ruined it by getting completely drunk and asking him why after 3 years I mean nothing. He told me to fuck off and delete his number. So I feel hopeless. I’m scared that if I do the NC for 30 days he’s gonna move on and I’ll be nothing. Last I talked to him he said he isn’t mad at me but he won’t talk? What do I do? No contact 30 days? Did I ruin it with the dumb kiss and drunk text? Help me! Please!!

admin

October 17, 2013 at 5:53 pm

NC for 30 days sounds ideal at this point. It really sounds like he needs time to cool down.
Jay

October 18, 2013 at 6:14 pm

He’s not going to move on within those 30 days? Like I have been his first everything. He is so stubborn!
Jay

October 27, 2013 at 7:50 pm

K so here’s what I’m finding out. I told you Iv been talking to (nothing serious or sexual) and hanging out with a guy friends. Well my ex thinks Iv moved on cause of that. He’s got this one friend who watches what I post and tells my ex stuff that isn’t true. Apparently Iv been sleeping around to (NOT true). When I asked him if he is ok with seeing me with someone else in the future his reply is “no I don’t like it but there is nothing I can do about it” he thinks there is no hope and I think there is. We have a child together. I’m not seeing anyone and I don’t want to. But he now has trust issues cause of the crap that’s being piled into his head. This one friend of his is a huge liar and he talks more smack then a woman. But I told him exactly how it was and he hasn’t replied. So I’m going to give him some time to think about it all. But he said to me “I guarantee you already slept with someone” so I’m thinking he still cares. What do you think he means when he says that stuff!? Like “I’m not ok with it but nothing I can do”.
Jay

October 29, 2013 at 1:48 am

He ended up replying later that night. But I ended the convo this time. I know he cares I know he doesn’t want me with anyone else, so I’m gonna ignore him and make him start panicking.
admin

October 30, 2013 at 3:33 am

Glad you got to end the conversation first this time around!
Jay

November 1, 2013 at 7:11 am

Chris….I’m probably more confused then ever. So last time I talked to you I told you I told him how I felt and everything. Well I felt like I finally had the upper hand a bit because he knew I wasn’t moved on and sleeping around like he assumed. Well he got weird, not replying to my texts, or joking around with me about stuff that he knows upsets me. He knows this one guy friend of mine wants to hang out this weekend and when he talked to me about it I could tell it bothers him. Even tho Iv reminded him that this guy is strictly a friend and that’s all! I told him I wasn’t hanging out with him this weekend, and he doesn’t believe me. So Ive been asking him what he wants, if he wants me to go or stay and he wasn’t giving me an answer!! So tonight I got fed up and asked him again and he told me to move on. He told me to go sleep with someone he doesn’t care. We have a child together and I want to be a family. I want to try this differently, but he keeps telling me it’s impossible. I don’t want to keep making up excuses but maybe I’m thinking that he’s jealous and his way of dealing with it is to just push me away. I guess when I said that if he knew I was hanging out with other guys it would make things worse. I should just follow my instincts. I don’t no what to do next? Do I give up? I love him but this is hard on me and it’s hard to be a good parent when I’m constantly upset over him, or do I no contact rule him? Keep trying…maybe he will come around? I mean it’s been over a month now. Honestly I need to know. He’s so stubborn. I’m supposed to go talk to him on Sunday. And now I don’t want to. But I can’t keep pushing it off. I feel like he knows he has that control now, that he knows how bad I want him back…that is not a good feeling. Should I face the fact ill never get him again and move in or try MC/NC see where that takes me? Help!!!!!!
admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:44 pm

NC rule him at this point. Stubborn guys are the hardest to get back so that is why you are having such a tough time.
Jay

November 3, 2013 at 6:08 pm

I’ll be waiting for it! I feel like he wants me but he doesn’t or he doesn’t want me but he doesn’t want me with anyone else! His shitty friends are NOT helping him at all. I don’t no what to do about them! He’s gunna have to realize they aren’t a healthy part of his life but I’m worried he won’t ever see that! He’s the kind of guy that needs to be constantly reminded or reassured. He’s positive that me and Landon (guy friend) have something going on even tho Landon has a girlfriend!! He even saw Landon and his gf together last night but he still doesn’t believe me when I tell him I don’t want Landon I only want him.
Jay

November 10, 2013 at 1:24 am

I mean I know he cares cause he’s always asking me what in doing who I’m with and stuff like that. But he told me to slow down last night. So maybe I drop out for a while, make him come to me. Make him worry a bit as to why I’m not talking to him and stuff. How does that sound?
admin

November 10, 2013 at 9:45 pm

Sounds like a pretty solid plan!
admin

November 4, 2013 at 4:51 pm

Keep reassuring him I guess eventually he will wak up.
Jay

November 3, 2013 at 2:51 am

I don’t get guys like my ex….he tells me to move on and go sleep with someone else he doesn’t care but he texted me (first) asking why I like my guy friends pictures on Instagram last night!! What is his problem!!!!
Jay

November 9, 2013 at 3:59 am

Well I’m in for a battle. What do you do when your ex feels completely betrayed? I didn’t cheat on him, on the day we broke up that guy kissed me at the bar and he found out about it. Well he is making that the reason we aren’t getting back together. He feels like he can never trust me again so on so forth. He thinks that was messing around with the guy. Even tho I never slept with the guy or nothing ever became anything after that night. What do I do!??
admin

November 10, 2013 at 12:52 am

You realize that you have a lot of work ahead of you and you do everything you can to regain his trust.
admin

November 3, 2013 at 5:55 pm

He is confused and perhaps I can shed some light on it in my newest guide coming up very soon.
Jay

October 27, 2013 at 11:13 pm

So why do you think he stopped replying to my texts then?
admin

October 29, 2013 at 1:43 am

Impossible to say but maybe because you didn’t hold his attention enough or he is just fed up in general.
admin

October 27, 2013 at 11:06 pm

Of course he cares. The jealousy proves he cares!
admin

October 19, 2013 at 7:34 pm

He is definitely going to have trouble moving on if you were his first everything.
Jay

October 23, 2013 at 1:45 pm

So my problem now…..well we have been apart for a month now and I have been nice understanding and fair with him, but now I’m angry. He still doesn’t want me. So I basically lost it on him I’m supposed to meet with him Thursday but I don’t want to. It’s been a rocky month but he still doesn’t miss me. Or want me back. So I lost it told him I hated him and I’m not meeting with him. Now I’m going to ignore him. Bad plan!? I’m very angry.
admin

October 23, 2013 at 10:22 pm

No GOOD PLAN!
Jay

October 22, 2013 at 2:01 pm

I don’t no, my instincts. He’s a jealous person, I figure that would only make him more mad at me. He talked to me yesterday tho and we have to meet up to talk about child support and stuff. How can I use that to my advantage?
admin

October 23, 2013 at 7:55 pm

Trust your instincts.

Use what to your advantage? Jealousy?
Jay

October 19, 2013 at 10:09 pm

So maybe you could write something about friends and the influence they have on guys ….good and bad. Cause right now his friends are all he has and he is leaning on them. Could he be using them to mask his feelings? I was friends with all his friends when we were together and now they all hate me. I was told they sat there dissing me and he said nothing at all. But his friends have also been posting sarcastic comments on my Instagram pictures…..this is a huge mess. All I wanna do it get along, work out what we have to without any friends or any family telling us what to do. Iv been hanging with guy friends and I feel like that is only going to make things worse if he finds out. 🙁 I am lost.
admin

October 20, 2013 at 8:40 pm

Well, what makes you think it will get worse if he finds out?

LT

October 16, 2013 at 7:40 pm

I was dating this guy and we broke up bc he had major life problems and couldn’t balance. he came back and then some other major problem came up.* i wont disclose since it’s pretty serious and highly personal. At that point he said i had been nothing but patient and i am an amazing person, but he didnt feel like he could be in a healthy relationship. he didnt feel right taking when he couldnt give. blah blah i at first was PISSED…then i said we shouldnt talk and wished him luck in life. a month passed and i had actually been in his state so AFTER i came back i sent him a pic. he asked if i was in town. i said yes but under alias x(the alias is actually an inside joke). he said nice and asked why. i said oh for training. i then said i had jst thought it was funny that i ended up there. i ended the convo and told him to take care. he said yeah it is. i am like him, traveling a lot. you too. After that convo i looked at his fb and he had screenshot our joke and posted it…laughing. By the end of the day he had deleted me from EVERYWHERE. I was completely thrown bc we didnt fight or anything. so the next day I asked if he was upset. he said no why. i mentioned i had noticed he delted me. he said oh i switched my account to my brother and since you decided to move on, i figured. i said you figured what. he said i figured not to add you to the new one since you decided. <_ THIS MAKES NO SENSE!!!!i responded by saying that was your decision and i understanD. He said thanks and then somehow friendship came up. we spoke briefly and all jokes.I ended the convo and now I am back to silence bc we agreed a long time ago that we could never be friends and honestly i see that being messy. I find the whole exchange confusing.help!

admin

October 17, 2013 at 5:43 pm

Yea that is pretty messy. Sorry this craziness is happening.

Have you started your NC period yet?
lt

October 17, 2013 at 10:13 pm

I actually just thought abt it and I am not sure if you are talking abt nc round 2.if thats the case then yes. It has bn 2 days. I have to study for the gres and dont have time for messy. Should I say something since we were supposed to be attempting a friendship..or just disappear?
admin

October 18, 2013 at 6:19 pm

I was talking about round 2 and stick with it.
Lt

October 17, 2013 at 10:03 pm

Yes, the whole deleting thing occurred a month after nc. We spoke briefly and that’s when i did the whole joke thing end convo while ahead.a few hrs later deleting was his reaction.But he claims he didn’t get angry. he jst figured since i had moved on…. Why does his reaction seem …ANGRY? Is this a lost cause?
admin

October 18, 2013 at 6:19 pm

Well with any breakup anger is going to be involved no matter what.

Michele Stagemeyer

October 16, 2013 at 7:11 pm

Hello,
My husband of 15 years left our 13 year old daughter and I with no warning. He went golfing and did not come home. When we finally were able to get in touch with him. He told me over the phone that he got an apartment just 3 blocks away. He wanted to be close so that he could still see his daughter everyday. About a week after he left found out that he left us for a younger woman with 2 kids who are about our daughters age. This devestated our daughter and she still will have nothing to do with him. It will take her time. For about the first month I was texting, e-mailing or call him daily. I have started the NC rule and have not had any contact with him for over a week. He has not tried to contact me. I do not want him back. What I want is to know that he at least misses me and our daughter. I just want him to at least feel this kind of pain. What do you think?

admin

October 17, 2013 at 2:52 am

Before anything have you read my how to get your ex husband back post?

Broken

October 16, 2013 at 3:39 am

My ex boyfriend and i had been together for a year and a couple of months, throughout our relationship, i would constantly hurt him, how? by letting him see me with other guys, by getting him jealous/angry, by having him read conversations with me and other guys, just continuously. I, sickly, enjoyed it, because i knew at the end of the day he wouldn’t leave me and i would be forgiven. He gave me so many chances but as they say, “you never know how much something really means to you, till its gone.” I think he wants to come back to me, but his family, specifically, his mother is stopping him, as one day before he broke up with me, she had spoken to him for over an hour. I constantly begged and begged for him to give me another chance, i begged so many times. A day before his birthday, i offered a ticket to come see me, he said he would speak to his mum about it and let me know, he then said “cant, im sorry” and when i asked why? he said “really?!” as in, because of what you put me through, but I’m guessing his mum had something to do with that decision. I then said “im gonna have to move on. happy birthday for tomorrow. enjoy” and to which he replied “guess so. Thanks, im sure youll be in my thoughts” and that, october 1st was the last time we messaged. A friend messaged him yesterday and asked how he was, he said isnt great. I miss him so much. I want him back. 🙁 I have changed. and its too bad i cant prove that right now as he is back in England and i am in canada.

admin

October 17, 2013 at 1:44 am

Have you read the LDR post?
Broken

October 17, 2013 at 2:08 am

Which one is that?
admin

October 17, 2013 at 5:57 pm

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-complete-guide-to-getting-an-ex-boyfriend-back-in-a-long-distance-relationship/
Broken

October 16, 2013 at 3:40 am

And i’m positive he will not be the first one to message anyway 🙁
admin

October 17, 2013 at 1:43 am

Well you never know until you know.
Broken

October 16, 2013 at 7:52 pm

I was thinking of sending him a text tomorrow night saying ” I had to play lego(because he loves legos) with some kids at work today, it made me think of how you would be sitting here and building your own things mhm and it made me smile :). How have you been keeping up?”
admin

October 17, 2013 at 2:13 am

I like that it’s sweet. I like it a lot.
Broken

October 17, 2013 at 3:04 am

So should i send that tomorrow or wait for another week or what? 🙁
admin

October 17, 2013 at 5:58 pm

Wait another week.

Brandy

October 16, 2013 at 3:15 am

That’s just it. I don’t think I should reach out first. I feel like he should because I don’t want to be annoying or overbearing. I’m hoping and wishing but he’s taking forever :/

Broken

October 17, 2013 at 2:09 am

Thats my sitaution too.. i;ve begged too much.. i just wish he does 🙁

« Previous 1 … 102 103 104 105 106 … 118 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”