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Post categories
Ash
September 28, 2013 at 3:10 am
Since 1 year i knew this guy at workplace, and he proposed me, our relation went really good for 3-4 months. After that he want to make decision between his personal life and professional life, as he told , if he wants to go further in profession, he has to concentrate on it and cannot work on this relationship anymore. I tried long enuf to make him understand, but he just left contact with me, and cut off. I went into depression for a year after that, as it took time for me to recover, with no contacts at all. After 1 1/2 year, we were face to face suddenly, but just a awkardness came, we both didnt made eye contact, and i just left the place. And after a while i received a call from him, but just a casual talk. Its 2 months then, don’t know, if i should contact him back or not, because i dont want to go into depression again, but still i really miss him, and silently cry for him.
admin
September 29, 2013 at 11:25 pm
I would say that the only time you should talk to him is when you feel prepared and ready!
muskan
September 27, 2013 at 7:18 pm
Hey! Hii 🙂
I had a guy in my life whom I met through social networking app. Soon we became good friends and I met him once. It was a decent and formal meet. After that we texting each other a lot and soon we were in love <3 though, we never met after that. We didn't get into any relationship because none of us was ready to aproach first. We had beautiful time with each other of 5 months as friends even though we never met again. I used to talk only on texting and its been just 3 times that I actually talked on phone to him. Few months back we had some misunderstandings which usually grew more and more because he avoided talking about it. In august his new college started where he met new friends and our friendship started getting weak. He always cancelled our plans to hangout. We soon had huge fights on texts and then there was a time after which he said he doesn't loves me anymore. 🙁 after few days of ignoring him I texted him and he used to say 'I love you' and all but did not reacted the way he used to do previously, he never texted me first now and always tried to end the convo. I asked him to tell the truth but he was like 'I love you'. I am sure he has no other girl in his life but what should I do. Now its been one week I haven't texted him and neither has he 🙁 what should I do?
Please help!
admin
September 28, 2013 at 3:29 am
It is still early. If you are doing NC you are still in the early stages!
muskan
September 28, 2013 at 1:29 pm
Should I do NC? I mean its all about text. I won’t even come to know if he misses me or not because we don’t meet. And like if he texts me should I reply or not?
admin
September 29, 2013 at 11:49 pm
Yes, I still think you should do it.
Mallory
September 27, 2013 at 5:21 pm
My fiance and I were together for over 3 years and I broke up with him about 2 months ago. I don’t really know why I did it, we hadn’t seen each other in months because I had started a new job and was trying to take my life in a new, better direction and I felt like he was distracting me too much…so I put space between us. He said he would wait for me. Well, when I finally decided I wanted to get back together he told me he was seeing someone else and that even though he wants me back and still loves me he can’t just toss his new girlfriend to the curb to get back together with me. He says she is a nice person and he doesn’t want to hurt her. Last week he asked me to go out to dinner with him, which I did. The evening ended terribly. I thought he was trying to tell me he wanted me back for real, and in the end I was sobbing and he was yelling at me telling me I need to move on and that he can’t trust me not to leave him again and that he is still dating his new girlfriend. What?? We talk every day. Every night. He texts me at 3 in the morning 5 days a week. He has started telling me he loves me and misses me again. I asked if he would please come back to me last night. He said maybe, but he has trust issues. He also asked for more time. So I said okay. I told him I will never give up on him, but casually let him know that there is another guy that has feelings for me and talks to me a lot (this isn’t true at all). I can tell it has made him jealous. This guy is not the type I could do a NC rule with. He is insecure almost to a fault. He needs to know that I am still here for him and I love him. So I am trying to make him feel wanted…but my problem is that I don’t know how long I should keep giving him what he wants while he is out with this other girl. Is he stringing me along? I don’t know honestly. I want to wait for him, but it hurts knowing he is with another woman. I am going to try to put a little space between us today. I told him I can’t talk because I’ll be out with friends all day, but he can try to text me later. He immediately asked if I was going out with the other guy I mentioned. I told him no, but he still didn’t seem happy. I am going to try to put more and more space between us. Is there anything else I should be doing. Everyone just tells me to walk away. That’s not what I came to this website for…Advice?
admin
September 28, 2013 at 3:19 am
Actually the fact about him being insecure might really work in your favor during NC so I think you should reconsider.
And don’t worry I am not going to tell you to walk away.
Shopie
September 27, 2013 at 4:33 pm
I broke up with my ex and co worker 6 weeks ago, have been NC ever since. Last week I initiated contact. Just “good morning” and “bye” at first. He responded well and because of that I sent him a text message. I told him that I miss him and that I am sorry for calling him names when I broke up with him (it was an ugly break up with some emotional outburst from my part) and that I am happy to see him getting on so well with his life and wish him well(I never said that I want us to be back together). He came to me afterward to say that it’s better to forget about the relationship, it wasn’t working, there is no future for us, we got to move on, yada..yada..yada. He also said that he is continuing his education and very excited about that and he feels that this break up has put him in the right path and that he is happier now. His words broke my heart into pieces all over again, but I was very dignified. I told him calmly that I understand everything and very proud of him for going back to college. How could he forget me so quickly and think that what we had for the past 2 years was nothing. I mean, this is the guy who professed his undying love to me and wanted to marry me more than anything. I know for sure that he is not seeing other woman, but this college thing (I was the one who has been pushing him to go back to college, I finished mine sometimes ago) has taken his mind off me and replace my place in his life. I am nothing for him now. The prospect of going back to college, meeting new people and starting a new life it’s all he could think about and I have no part in it. I am devastated I feel like he discarded me for something more interesting. What shall I do now?
admin
September 28, 2013 at 3:14 am
Well, patience right now. You are doing a NC so that is really really smart. What are you doing during your NC to evolve and improve though?
sophie
September 28, 2013 at 5:16 am
What am I doing during NC? I carried on doing my usual stuff like;going to work, seeing friends, shopping, etc. I even get a second part time job couple of nights a week just to keep my self busy, but it doesn’t really work because inside me, I am so depressed. Everything reminds me of him. Being busy and fighting my thoughts about him just make me extremely tired at the end of the day, I started to feel unwell and always fatigue. I lost some weight too because I haven’t been able to eat or sleep well, and I was already a slim woman to start with. I bought a new wardrobe too, change my style and dyed my hair. Instead of my usual tight and slightly revealing clothes, I am now wearing smart formal clothes to go to work. During those brief period when I broke NC, he complemented my new style. But that’s as far as I got. This “fake it till you make it” thing is starting to wear me down. To me it seems that he is not interested in getting back together with me. What I really want to know from a man perspective are:
1. When a man got something else that totally take away his mind, is it going to last for a long time?
2. When a man displays an “I just wanna be your friend” kind of attitude, does it mean that he is moving on and forget all about me?
3. All things considered, is there any hope at all for us to get back together?
admin
September 29, 2013 at 11:33 pm
Read this article I explain it all in there.
Ella
September 27, 2013 at 1:38 pm
Ok, so my boyfriend and I have been together for three years. Teh first year of our relationship was a drea. We moved in together, got a puppy, and hardly ever argued. After the first year, I broke up with him for three months, mainly because I was getting restless and wanted some excitement in my life, but I told him it was because I was confused. After we got back together, things were never quite the same, we argue alot, and mostly over petty things. When we do argue, he always brings up how when i broke up with him two years ago, it changed him.. I sense he holds alot o resentment towards me. He does love me and I love him like crazy, hes the man i want to marry, and he has said the same to me. Yesterday, we got into an argument and he said he wasnt sure if he wants this anymore. He says he needs to reevaluate our relationship. Of course, im devastated and have been having a hard time giving him the space he needs. I cannot lose him, we have invested so much into our relationship, and even though we have been rocky for awhile, I love him. Any suggestions on how to convince him that we should stay together?
admin
September 28, 2013 at 3:00 am
Can I press pause for a minute?
I am a little confused. Are the two of you still together?
MeMe
September 26, 2013 at 10:17 pm
Me and my ex just broke up about 2 weeks ago and i was blowing him up and calling him. we had a mutual break up but he really enforced it saying he do not feel the same in the beginning but then he say he really loves me and my he really loves my daughter. Then we are talking for 2 and 3 hrs on the phone. But only when he decide he wants to pick up. I got so desperate as in asking him to still have sexual relation to he responded that I love your sex but no I cant. He said he would probably feel like he wanted me back afterwards. Then I invited him to an event for my school he decline which really hurt like heck. I deleted my Facebook page for 2 days and he immediately like one of my status when I activated my page. I then was getting really piss by then so I message him “just go ahead and delete me since you are acting all shady with me. One minute your talking to me and then the next your just ignoring me. I told him to delete me off Facebook already because he obviously don’t want anything to do with me, so lets just keep it moving.” But he did not delete me but he never responded back..i think its too late for this no contact rule for me ! lol what should i do now? he never came out and said he wanted to be friends but i did said we can be. then i tried hanging with him and he said no he doesnt want any visitors today.I’m so confuse.. He just said that there was a possibility that he would be back with me just not now. He ignores me so bad and he said that he feels weird when i come around
admin
September 27, 2013 at 6:12 am
It is never too late for the NC rule. Never…
Lianna
September 26, 2013 at 6:27 pm
Hi there. My bf broke up with me 3 weeks ago stating that he still loves me, is in love with me etc… hes just going through a quarter life crisis it seems and said he just needs time… too much time to have me wait around. We had a great relationship, best friends, crazy romace and passion. I miss him dearly. I have not contacted him nor him me since thre break-up (3 weeks on Sunday). On this coming Sunday, it is hid bday. Should I break no contact to send a simple “happy bday”, or should I leave it be for a while longer?
Thanks
admin
September 27, 2013 at 6:01 am
I vote leave it a little longer.
The reason is that I don’t think a birthday is an ideal time to break the ice or attempt to get him back.
Lucie
September 26, 2013 at 4:06 am
Hello I broke with my bf 3 days ago. We have been together for nearly a year and was living together for 9 months. He started business and didn’t have much time plus I found out that he was texting and seeing another women . I don’t think that he loves her it looks like he is with her just because she has a car and house and etc. when he was moving his stuff from our flat he said that he still loves me and it’s breaking his heart to leave but he needs time to sort himself out emotionally and financially as he doesn’t know what he wants now. Today he came again for more things and gave me hug and kiss. I am planning to go for holiday and I said to him that when I come back I may invite him for a date but wanted to him to think that it was a joke and he turned to me and said to me no I am gonna be the one who will invite you and gave me another kiss and then later on he texted me for a good night and called me hunni plus sent kisses. He is coming over tomorrow to bring me a sofa and he is coming with our friend. And he said that we can sit down and have wine and enjoy all evening . I am sure that there is still something between us and I want to fight for him… What should I do tomorrow when he will come over can I ask him for a date before I go for my holiday . I know u saying that everything needs time but can I do anything tomorrow to start seeing him again while we are in contact …. ?? Thank u . Lucy
admin
September 27, 2013 at 3:38 am
Typically speaking the more you force/rush something the worse off the results.
I say play it by ear but keep the rule above in mind.
Chelsea
September 26, 2013 at 3:05 am
We weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend but we met online and we texted everyday all day for months before we finally met up because he finally moved to NY (where I live)from Virginia for his master’s degree program. We went on a date and it went great but a few days after I was getting kinda upset he wasn’t texting me as much. When I asked him about it, he just told me his sleeping schedule was all messed up and he still likes me. Then a few days later I’m drunk and ask him if it’s over and he asks why can’t I take it easy. 2 days later I apologize for being overdramatic and he ignores me for 12 days. He then texts that he’s sorry that he’s been quiet for a while but “shit kinda hit the fan”. I ask him if that means it’s not working/what does this mean and he never replied back. 2 days later it’s his birthday and I send him a happy birthday text and he replies “hey, thank you so much 🙂 ” Haven’t heard from him in 3 days. Can I get him back? Well, if he’s still into me?
admin
September 27, 2013 at 3:30 am
I am actually working on a post right now that briefly talks about the importance of not being overdramatic so you may find it to be an interesting read.
I think you have a shot but as long as you play in really carefully and cleverly.
Chelsea
September 27, 2013 at 3:51 am
How do I do that?
admin
September 28, 2013 at 2:36 am
How do you do what?
Chelsea
September 28, 2013 at 4:53 am
How do I “play in really carefully and cleverly”?
Kyara
September 26, 2013 at 1:27 am
I’ve been w my (now ex boyfriend) for 2 years .. I am currently 3 months pregnant by him .. He was in a 6 year relationship for 6 years 3 years ago , he thinks it’s not disrespectful to keep in contact w her (keep in mind she moved far away so he thinks I’m too worried about her for no reason which I’m Not its just the matter of RESPECT) I’ve been arguing about the Same thing for our whole relationship .. He stopped talking to her for a few months and promised he wouldnt talk to her anymore .. She kept hitting him up and I got real frustrated so I called her talking shit and let her know I dnt wang her calling my man and that were also having a family .. They started being friends and he claims “I brought her back into his life the moment I hit her up .. So I packed my shit and went into a shelter , he says he’s Not cutting her off this time until I prove I’m a real women smh .. So I told him I’m good w him I dnt wanna be w him at all to continue the friendship and stopped txtn him .. I haven’t hit him up for 3 days already , he called me yesterday on the 2nd day and I ignored his phone call .. When I last spoke to him I told him when and if he’s mature enough to cut her off it needs to be How I want it to be and What I want him to say .. Not let her off slowly to not hurt her feelings .. You think ignoring him til he does what I want make him realize I’m realize I’m not joking this time ?
Kyara
September 26, 2013 at 4:20 am
Do you think I am wrong or do I have right to feel this way ?
admin
September 27, 2013 at 3:42 am
You absolutely have a right to feel this way!
admin
September 26, 2013 at 3:35 am
Yes, I think it will.
Natalie
September 25, 2013 at 1:13 pm
Need some major advice. I was with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. He had an ex wife and 2 kids and at one point we did split for around 3 weeks because his ex wanted to get back with him. We got back together and were blissfully happy. But his ex continued to make tithings hard for us and I struggled to trust and he struggled to open up to me. But one thing I knew was that I was totally in love with him and wanted to be with him. Met had great times together and made plans and looked forward to them, he did struggle to make huge commitments like moving in and holidays, mainly due to how his ex would react and the kids. Anyway, in match he broke up with me. Although we had amazing times together, we did row occasionally, about silly things, and this began to overshadow our relationship. In the 7 and a half months we’ve been split we’ve been in almost constant contact with each other. Hooked up quite a lot, met up for drinks, flirted and even spoke on several different occasions about getting back together, but something always stood in the way of him taking it any further than just talking about it. Recently we’ve been in contact less, but I made an effort to get in touch and we met for a drink at the weekend. Just as friends. It was completely natural, fun and a bit of flirty banter. Then afterwards he invited me back, this normally leads to something else… But this time although he asked me to stay I forced myself to go home. Sohe wouldn’t have any regrets in the morning. In the time at his house we hugged, we spoke about us and he told me he would always love me. He told me how much he missed me, how much he fantasises about me, and still carries out picture in his wallet. After I left I saw him crying in his kitchen, head in his hands. But he still insists we’re better off without each other and we had our time and stop working. I’m so in love with him and I can’t see myself with anybody else. Nor do I want to. I want him back but I don’t know how. I’m also scared he’ll meet someone else, because he’s expressed his want to settle down again soon. Any advice would be amazing. Thank you in advance.
admin
September 26, 2013 at 3:01 am
My advice is going to be really good (but you won’t like it I think.)
I think you need to adopt this mindset:
“I want him back but I don’t NEED him back.”
Right now I think you need him back and that will hurt you in the long run.
Danielle
September 25, 2013 at 8:55 am
I’ve been with my boyfriend now “ex” for 5 years he always breaks up with me then comes back as soon as he realizes he misses me and wants me we have done this break up thing 4 times now and every time he breaks up with me he sleeps around and talks to people recently I’ve been checking his twitter and Instagram and he’s always with this girl now he makes comments like he’s gonna date her and it hurts did I mean nothing to him? We lived together as well when we broke up a week later he was talking to this girl it’s been a month and I miss him like crazy but I’m afraid I’ve already been replaced he says he does not care anymore does he really mean it? But at the same time he’s telling this girl he’s gonna eventually date her and they hang out all the time but he will be liking another girls photos he slept with last time we broke up I’m confused to why he says he likes her but does things like that? Does he really mean it when he says he wants nothing to do with me? I’m just heartbroken and hoping and looking for sighs he will run back to me I have him everything I know he is wrong to hurt me so many times but when were not broken up we are fine I’m lost and need advise please help I just want him back..
admin
September 26, 2013 at 2:49 am
In the spur of the moment people say all kinds of things that aren’t necessarily true.
If you have gotten him back 4 times then I am pretty sure you can do it one more time hahaha.
Emma
September 24, 2013 at 10:01 pm
I’ve been talking to a guy for 2 months. then he stopped contacting me for 3 weeks and i called to check up on him. he said it was over and he broke it off..i told him we can work it out, ect. should i have not contacted him? i wanted to show him i care. also, if i initiate no contact now do u think it’ll work?
admin
September 25, 2013 at 1:25 am
Yes NC can still work if you initiate it now.
Laura
September 24, 2013 at 7:44 pm
*Sigh* Well, I was with the boyfriend for 7 years until we split up in March – this was our first real split. Unfortunately whenever things go a bit awry ie, if we have an argument, if things are hard for him at work, if another ‘option’ appears on the scene etc, he questions everything and flakes.
We met up occasionally over the months and he was always very affectionate when we met up and told me he loved me but was always reluctant to arrange further meets, so i’d leave it and ignore him, he’d come running again… and so the cycle continued.
In August I gave him an ultimatum and he said he’d like to try again. During the time we were split he admitted to sleeping with three other women – one actually became his girlfriend barely weeks after we split and was one of the causes of the split, which I was furious about but he insists he must still see her as she is his friend.
He was in the process of moving house and his friend died suddenly when we decided to try again and agreed, at his insistence, that we would start slowly and keep it all under wraps as he didn’t want any hassle whilst so much was going on. Trouble is, in nearly two months we’ve only met up three times as he is always “too busy”. There is always an excuse. They are generally good excuses but i’m not sure all of them are real and he still seems to find plenty of time to go the gym and see his mates down the pub.
How on earth can I become a priority and snap him out of it. If I go no contact I know for a fact he’ll just go out and sleep with more people making the situation even harder and then claim he thought he was single. Yes, it will probably make him ‘want’ me again but for whatever reason I can’t retain his interest once I have it.
Yes, I know I should kick him to the kerb, he’s treated me like dirt, but when he is not being an idiot he is great, we had 7 years together, and unfortunately I love him.
admin
September 25, 2013 at 1:15 am
So, what is your game plan here? Do you want him back?
Laura
September 28, 2013 at 12:15 am
Yes, but not if i’m always going to be treated like a mug. I need to know how to get him to respect me again and stop flaking when the going gets tough. We used to be great, back in the early days, he used to be scared he’d lose me. Now he knows he probably won’t he doesn’t seem to care so much. Trouble is if I play him at his own game he’ll just start sleeping around again. I’m in a dilemma because if I don’t initiate contact with him given what he’s been doing these last few months I know he’ll just use it as an excuse to sleep with someone else whilst claiming he thought i’d walked away. But he never initiates contact so to avoid having him run off with someone else I feel I have to. It’s a right mess! When we do talk/meet up he’s great, he’s just making no effort when we’re apart.
admin
September 28, 2013 at 3:39 am
Some guys are like that though, they won’t initiate things unless you do. Do you think he is like this?
Laura
September 29, 2013 at 9:10 pm
He is now but he never used to be. I don’t mind contacting him but I’ve been advised that men only really value what they have to work for and he isn’t having to work for me – at all. I’m doing all the running. I need to know how to change the balance without going no contact on him as that will just cause him to start seeing someone else.
admin
October 1, 2013 at 2:27 am
Absolutely right. Men usually want someone they can chase.
Maybe you can try a limited contact period.
Paula
September 24, 2013 at 1:57 pm
Hello
My boyfriend and I just broke up about a week ago. We were together for two years, have a three month old and lived together since she was born. During my pregnancy he wasn’t doing the right thing and I would hardly see him, and he got his act together before my daughter was born but I still had anger from it. We would fight alot for what seemed like no reason, but it was me instigating it because I was under alot of stress and I would get pissed when he wouldn’t understand what was wrong. After the baby was born, it took a toll on my sex drive which caused a problem too. We got into a fight and he finally snapped and ended things. He told me that he does love me but he can’t take the constant fighting and confusion that I put him through as far as my feeling for him goes. I can’t avoid contact completely because of our daughter but I’ve been trying to keep it to a minimum the past day or so and won’t contact him first, and I will keep it about my daughter. I know he still cares about me by the way he acts but I can tell he doesn’t want a relationship with me because he thinks it will be the same as before. He tells me he wants to move on and for me to also but he still acts like he cares such as he asked me if I liked his outfit, if I liked that he was growing out his facial hair, he asked if I was trying to flirt with him, even got jealous when he found out I was talking to a guy friend. What should I do? Thank you for your time.
admin
September 25, 2013 at 12:55 am
Have you tried anything like the LC before?
B
September 24, 2013 at 3:47 am
I’m broke up with my boyfriend today because she does not know how to prioritize our relationship. I am #5 on his list of important things and I’m tired of coming in last. We have had many problems in our relationship due to outside influences and have always recovered but when he is busy with another person he forgets all about me, out of sight out of mind with him. He says he is giving me all he can which at this point is a few hours a week. He is very angry with me and feels rejected he’s already on a dating site even. We love each other very much and I want him back but if I can’t get the respect I deserve why should I bother?
admin
September 25, 2013 at 12:43 am
Well, if you feel you are better off without him then all the more power to you. However, if you feel like you want him back I can help you.
Ultimately it is a decision you have to come up by yourself.
Deb
September 24, 2013 at 2:21 am
My bf went back to his ex .He came to my life cause he was bored with gf.now he is back with her again and seems like deeply in love with her. In your post you have written’ 71%’ they think of their ex. In my bf situation would he still miss me or think of me even though he is back with in his ex?
admin
September 25, 2013 at 12:30 am
Yes he can. Especially if the new relationship is a likely rebound.
Lisa
September 23, 2013 at 5:17 pm
Hi!
My BF and I have been together for 3 years, and this is our second break up, with no legit reason. When we first got together he chased me for months before I gave in; not intentionally, just not interested at the time. A little over a year into the relationship he said he was going through a lot (having to study for the bar exam), and that we needed a brake, which was very unexpected and devastating for me. Of course, I did everything wrong at first, then I came to my senses. Our “brake” lasted for 5 months total, after which HE chased me AGAIN, for about 3 weeks or so, before we got back together. So it hasn’t been too easy for him! Now, after a year and a half, because of one little argument he brakes up with me, not giving me a reason as to why. He just said, he doesn’t want a relationship right now, when 2 days prior we were having a great time together. It’s been 2 months with minimal contact, which I wish I hadn’t done. I have to say that we have always had a great relationship, hardly argued, and these were his words. We always loved and respected each other, and this isn’t just my illusion lol… other people even saw it in us. We were lovers, best friends, and the passion was always there.
So WHAT THE –CK HAPPENED?
Is there even a chance for a couple to get back together after a second break up?
I have been on “no contact” for 10 days now. My last contact, I texted him saying thank you for something he had done for me, and his reply was positive. So I told him I wanted to take him out for coffee as a thank you. He asked for a rain check, and I said “sure thing” and left it at that.
Any Advice?
admin
September 24, 2013 at 2:53 am
Finish out the NC period.
You might also be interested in Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.
Ummm…. what are you doing during NC to occupy your time?
Gen
September 23, 2013 at 4:56 pm
Hi,
I went on a few dates with a guy and we had been having a lot of fun together, he told his friends he really liked me and was glad we were getting to know eachother, but then out of the blue he stopped contacting me. I chalked it up to him being in contact with his ex (which he was), so I let it go. Now he is “liking” my stuff on facebook and I’m not sure if this is just him being friendly or what? Help!
admin
September 24, 2013 at 2:49 am
It might be something more than friendly.
Gen
September 25, 2013 at 4:10 pm
Should I be reciprocating at all? I haven’t had any contact since we stopped seeing eachother, so should I keep playing the waiting game or make some kind of move?
admin
September 26, 2013 at 3:18 am
Well the only time you should reach out is after the initial 30 days of NC. I talk about this a lot in my E-Book so you might want to check that out if you haven’t already.
Gen
September 27, 2013 at 6:11 pm
Ya it’s been about 2 months now of NC, but I’m just unsure whether I should try talking to him or if continued NC would be best in this case, too see if he actually contacts me or not (aside from just facebook…).
admin
September 28, 2013 at 3:25 am
I vote reach out but whatever feels right o you I think you should do.
Ali
September 23, 2013 at 4:35 pm
Hi,
So I read your article a while back and all and I already did my 1 month no contact… so yesterday I hung out with my ex and caught up. There were a lot of laughs and things were great. There were some good signs too like when I first saw him he ran over to me and gave me a pretty long hug… But aside from that, I can only get the feeling that he only wants to be friends… I don’t know what my next step is supposed to be. I tried to hint that I wanted to get back together (well all i said was i thought about him sometimes during our time off and missed our time together) and he just went silent and changed the subject after a while.. I have this feeling like he’s caught in this place between missing me (hence the strangely long hug) and being scared to make a move that would force some kind of commitment from him. What should my next step be from here? I don’t know if I doing the ultimatum “Come back to me or never see me again” is a good idea or not… it seems crazy but it saves time? lol
admin
September 24, 2013 at 2:48 am
No, do not do the ultimatum b/c then you will ruin any chance you have.
Just keep the process going. I would focus on ramping up his feelings for you.