7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

Faith needs hope

December 22, 2016 at 6:32 pm

Hi. So my ex broke up with me because he couldn’t do long distance anymore. To some degree I understand his decision but it came out of the blue when he got news that he couldn’t move to my country next year as planned. Anyway, I completely messed up when it came to no contact because I couldn’t deal with the shock of losing him so suddenly and him cutting himself off emotionally, very easily. It’s gotten to a point where he completely ignores me now. He’s blocked me on whatsapp which was our main form of contact but has not blocked me on any social media (not sure what that means). Problem is that there were times he agreed to speak to me and call me and then he didn’t keep to his word which drove me nuts and I’d bombard him with messages. I know I need to leave him be for now but I want to know if there is any way of salvaging our relationship in the future or has he changed his opinion of me completely?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 27, 2016 at 2:20 pm

hi Faith,

why cant he move to your country? I think there’s still a chance but you need to stop annoying him by pushing to talk

Faith

December 22, 2016 at 10:29 am

Hi. So my ex broke up with me because he couldn’t do long distance anymore. To some degree I understand his decision but it came out if the blue when he got news that he couldn’t move to my country next year as planned. Anyway, I completely messed up when it came to no contact because I couldn’t deal with the shock of losing him so suddenly and him cutting himself off emotionally, very easily. It’s gotten to a point where he completely ignores me now. He’s blocked me on whatsapp which was our main form of contact but has not blocked me on any social media (not sure what that means). Problem is that there were times he agreed to speak to me and call me and then he didn’t keep to his word which drove me nuts and ended up bombarding him with messages. I know I need to leave him be for now but I want to know if there is any way of salvaging our relationship in the future or has he changed his opinion of me completely?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 27, 2016 at 10:48 am

hi Faith,

why cant he move to your country? I think there’s still a chance but you need to stop annoying him by pushing to talk

MIna

December 22, 2016 at 7:59 am

Hi. I am Mina. First of all, i am very thankful for this website. It is giving me some courage to get my ex back. So, I broke up with my boy friend in this August. We had been dating for a year and half, but after the 3 months of the beginning of our relationship,I left for a graduate school, so did a long distance relationship with him. I came back home earlier in July to be with him even though my programm was 1 year long. But, within a month, I knew he cheated on me,(i found texts) so that’s why I broke up with me. After days later, He sent me a long text message saying that he apologized and agreeed with my decision to break up our relationship. At fisty, I was so panicked due to somekind of post-breakup syndrome, but in the following day I texted him back saying that I was willing to forgive and begge him to come back but he said no. Since then, it has been already 5 months passed.
I texts him always. He replies, but he does not respond when the conversation gets longer. We had meet up third times afte break up. He holded my hand and kissed me as if we were still in a relationship. But, once I confessed him that I missed him a lot and wanted him to come back, he said he was not capable of seeing anybody.
I really don’t understand his behavior.
Now I assumed that he just made excuses to hide the fact that he does not love me anymore. So, I ended up coming to this website to get some sincere advice to my situation.
He was alway supportive and understood my ego and career more than anyone. So I really want him back in my life.
Do u think he likes me or I had a chance to get him back based on his behavior?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 27, 2016 at 9:41 am

Hi Mina,

when you got back in July, the relationship was a year and a half by then? I think there’s a chance, but if you keep looking like you’re the only one chasing, its probably going to continue how it is like now..do you want to try the no contact rule?

Kris

December 21, 2016 at 8:47 am

My ex bf broke up with me one week ago (we were together 3 months) and he said he can’t make me happy anymore I deserve batter blah blah blah but on the day he decided to be single, he still said let’s meet up more than couple of times a months okay ? I just focused on explaining why I didn’t met him, I should said let’s improve and meet more. So after couple of conversations, he told me he felt every worse bexuse it didn’t help. So he was not sure if he want this relationship, but he still like me as a person( this upset me actually) I have been review out relationship I gave so many love to him he felt pressure and also before we broke up I didn’t meet him often he told me asked me go out often and I didn’t He also said we didn’t flirt anymore now he wants to be single And very sure after we broke up he doesnt talk to me Even when I msg him he seems not interested I kinda told him let’s just have some fun while your in my city Becaus you can make me happy He said: haha that’s fine then I thought you were upset, I said I was because it happened so sudden now I understand why, so I m not upset anymore. He just replied: ah okay………. I feel like he is not interested in me at all ! Or he is just playing the game or i misunderstood him again I used to misunderstood him lots ! Like when he said let’s meet more often I was really unconscious but now I know what was wrong but he seems not going to get me back 🙁

And we haven’t met for almost a month and we broke up for a 1.5 weeks but we just sent te last msg at December 19 today is 20 We did sent some msg during the 1.5 weeks So should I count 30 days NC since 20th Bexuse we have met for a month and during one month he was struggling and yhight about should we broke up and he didn’t tell me before he was trying to make effort to improve it actually but I decline it Anxious now !

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 22, 2016 at 3:29 pm

Hi,

even if you didn’t meet and talk for a month, if you didn’t focus in improving yourself, that’s not considered as a no contact period. So, start the count for 30 days after reading this and focus in improving yourself.

Jesse

December 17, 2016 at 11:10 pm

Hey,

My ex and I have been on and off for six months. He kept leaving and coming back because he was unhappy with all the conflict in our relationship, and I was unhappy because I felt like he didn’t respect me or love me enough to ever take responsibility for anything. He blamed all of our problems on me. I felt really rejected since he kept abandoning me and coming back. By the end he was super angry and I felt grossly desperate.

We started couples counseling about four weeks before the break up, but weren’t really addressing the real issues because everything was generally calm. He dumped me after the first explosive session that we had.

We decided to go to counseling that week, during which he was very consoling. I moved out the following weekend, he cried the entire day and said ‘this separation is exactly what we need’ and even gave me a kiss as I got in the uHaul.

We met at counseling that week and he was furious, being super mean and angry about all his shit. He said we were never getting back together.

When we saw each other at counseling this week, he was super nice. At one point the counselor was being super hard on him and he asked me what I wanted to do to help and I just said ‘I want to touch him’ and so I caressed his face with my hand and we both just said ‘hi’ very affectionately. At the end of the session when we were deciding whether or not we should continue in the new year my ex said ‘I like seeing you. I had moments of being wracked with missing you this week.’ However, he affirmed that we could continue in counseling but it was only to help us individually, not as a couple. He said we were not getting back together. He says we just have way too different personalities.

We’re going no contact for awhile now, almost a month, but the counselor is going to get in touch in the new year to see if we want to continue. I feel like I’ve never said no to my ex. I never abandoned him and let him come back every time. Should I say yes to counseling or is he just using me to serve his next partner?

Does he need to hear me reject him this time?

I’ve been very needy/insecure and he’s been very emotionally unavailable/stubborn/etc.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 21, 2016 at 6:16 am

Hi Jesse,

this is your chance to prove that you decide and stand for what you want.. so, I’m not going to advise a move.. Just do what you think is best

Grace

December 16, 2016 at 12:28 pm

Hi,

I am currently in my first week of implementing NC, it’s tough but it’s getting easier. Thank you so much for this website and all the advice! I am a little confused though. During no contact do you also implement the social media tactic or only after the 30 day no contact? If he knows what I’m up to during NC are my posts going to be received by him as indirect contact? Will it take away from him missing me if he knows what I’m up to and can follow that?

Thank you!

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 19, 2016 at 5:10 am

Hi Grace,

yes, it’s during nc.. in a way it’ll make him miss you more because he can see you’re improving and yet he can’t talk to you

Ronnie

December 15, 2016 at 11:34 pm

Every relationship I have been in, my ex has attempted to get back together with me. My second to last relationship, we were together 8 months and he broke up with me. I texted him days after and he ignored me. A week later he texted me trying to get back together. Weeks to a month went by and we were talking about getting back together, meanwhile I was also talking to someone new and ended up dating the new guy instead. I have been in a fair amount of relationships and every guy treated me great, but with this guy, I felt like it was the best relationship of my life although it had only been three months. He had been with a lot of girls in the past but I was the first relationship he’s been in. He always told me that when he was feeling bad, seeing me made him so happy. We both had the password to each others phones and both checked each others phones (usually when each other was asleep) and we were both texting other people, but never actually doing anything with anyone. Everything was going great, he told me that he was in love for the first time and told all his family and friends about me. In the second month of our relationship I had gotten pregnant and he asked me what I wanted to do and I told him I didn’t want to keep it. He was very supportive in the process and left the decision entirely up to me. Before we knew about the pregnancy, he told me that his friends were saying they never got to see him and he started spending more time with them and less time with me, be he stayed with me every night and every morning. Eventually, he changed the password to his phone, and so did I (only because he did). One night when he was asleep next to me, I looked at his phone (he had left it unlocked that night) and I saw that he did meet up with another girl (and had sex with her) and he also asked a girl in our college that he met before me if he could have sex with her again and she turned him down and said she was sorry she kissed him and led him on. I knew he had slept with her before we met and he said they were not even talking, it was just a one time thing. Anyway, after I found out I woke him up immediately and told him to grab his things and leave and didn’t tell him why when he asked because I knew that he knew why. The next morning I texted him and told him to get the rest of his things and eventually I told him I knew he cheated. After arguing for a while we began arguing about the fact that I had been texting other people, although I never did anything with them, he didn’t care. He said that he cheated on me because I was wasting his time because I was texting people (these people lived in different states, it wasn’t even possible for me to see them). I was embarrassed, because he was talking to girls I went to school with who I occasionally hung out with. But anyway, we just had a huge argument and he said that he knows I love him but was wasting his time and I replied back sending him conversations with the guys to assure him nothing ever happened and I told him afterwards that after the abortion (which he was paying for) then I would be out of his life and he sent a peace sign back. Later he texted me asking if I had anything else to say to him before he leaves for break (winter break which is for one month) and I said no and he sent me kissing emojis and said bye and I said bye back. Later he texted me about sending me the money for the abortion and that was the last time we talked. At first, I was really angry he cheated on me but after knowing he’s gone for a whole month I miss him terribly and I want to try again. I feel that if I don’t text anyone else then he wouldn’t either, or maybe he would, I’m not sure. But I want to be with him, although we have not been together long at all, we were talking about moving in together and he wanted me to spend a week with his family. I don’t want to give up so easily, do you think it’s worth it?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 17, 2016 at 4:13 am

Hi Ronnie,

it looks toxic.. or it’s just because of you needs to mature more.. do you want to try the no contact rule instead?

Alíria

December 15, 2016 at 4:36 pm

Hey, this site has been really helpfull. We broke up last saturday, so it’s been 4 days since our break up. I decided to go into no contact, so we haven’t talked since then. The reason for the break up: he was stressed with his online games (I know zzz) and school, so he became really distant from me and our mutual friends. I endured it for a long while, but then I started complaining because his lack of interest was becoming really hard to ignore.
Still, I complained very few times, but since he’s really young and imature, he saw it as fights, when I was really just giving him a heads up. Why a heads up? He has ADDH (and depression) and said that he really didn’t realize that he was being distant. So I thought “okay, I get that and won’t get mad. I’ll give him a heads up when he does that too much, since I know he doesn’t like being like this”. Worth noting, we texted everyday and he still came to me while stressed, but when I tried to keep the conversation going, he would pull away. Really annoying. Every single heads up, he would think was a fight.
Basically, he ended up thinking I complained too much about small things since he couldn’t notice when he was being distant. He also said we were fighting too much and that messed up his head. So, he asked for a break to figure out his feelings since he didn’t know if he was feeling the same anymore. One week later, he decided to break things up for good. And wished we’d remain friends. Since then, we haven’t talked.
Now, we have lots of mutual friends, our closest friends really, and they asked me to go to the mall with them (and he would go too). Should I go? And we had bought 2 games together (1 for him and 1 for me) and those games just arrived. We’ll meet today so I can give him his game. How should I behave? I want him back. I also have another problem, I bought his christimas gift already and he knows that. And when we took a break, I told him I’d give it to him no matter what. Do you think I should give the gift to him?
When I told him about the games today, he tried to keep the conversation going but I cut him off. No contact is making me afraid of being rude. On the other hand, I’m afraid I’ll be friendzoned if I talk to him normally. Do you recommend no contact?
Ps: We were each other first kisses. He truly liked me a lot. But he’s so stubborn. Do you think I have a chance at getting him back? We got along really well, before he got stressed with games and school.

Alíria

December 16, 2016 at 7:43 pm

Hi, Amor, thanks a lot for the answer!
Well, video games. He takes League of Legends very seriously. I actually supported him a lot, but it got unhealthy around the beggining of November (because of rankings). So he was basically playing 24/7. Still, I didn’t wanna meddle in his hobbies, so I didn’t nag him for that.
We were together for 3 months.
So, yesterday I gave him the game we bought together (one for each of us). I acted fairly distant, was kinda in a hurry. As soon as we met he energetically tried to initiate a conversation about things we used to talk about, but I cut him off with some short responses. After a while I commented on his haircut (that it was good). Unfortunatedly he had told our common friend that I’d be at the mall. Since she was there too, the situation ended up with the 4 of us in a table (me, my ex and 2 of our female common friends). There I tried my best to give him the least attention as possible, though I was really playful and upbeat with our friends (he actually laughed at my comments). Then it was time for me to go to my friend’s house and I said my goodbyes.
He also did some things that pissed me off. When we took a break, I told him that one thing that made me kinda sad was that our mutual male friend used to say that my ex had more in common with our friend C, because they both liked indie music and the walking dead (I told him just to get that off my chest). He said that it was nonsense, that he didn’t like her that way. But yesterday, as we were on that table, the first thing he did was ask C about the last TWD episode. And then start to show her some indie songs. I just ignored it, of course. But still, zZZZ
I think I messed up by staying on that table, right? How badly? I should’ve just left after giving the game…
Really, thanks a lot for answering. I’ll do as you suggested. I should start counting NC again, right? I had 4 days already.
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 19, 2016 at 2:43 pm

dont beat yourself up.. you did yiue best in the mall situation..it’s not too late for a restart..
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 16, 2016 at 4:34 pm

Hi Aliria,

What kind of games?
yes, you’re more likely to be friendzoned if you keep talking because you’re just there.. It’s like being too available.. If you want, tell him being friends is not working for you now.. You need space and then maybe someday you’ll reconnect.. Dont tell him you’re doing nc. Give the gift later on if you get back together or once you get to the date stage in the meet up phase.. You didn’t say how long was the relationship but commonly 30 days of nc is recommended. If you’re friends know you’ve broken up, they’ll understand if you want space from your ex

Dionne

December 15, 2016 at 6:03 am

Hi, so I have no social media….never did
All my friends do but none of them are friends with my ex on any social media. How do I still make him miss me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2016 at 12:10 pm

Hi Dionne,

make one.. you dont have to add him but once he gets curious, at least he has something to see

Soul aching hurt

December 13, 2016 at 2:17 am

Ok I would like some input. I’m going to try to keep this as brief as possible with as much information as I can…… my soul physically hurts and I’m desperate for solace and a solution…….. I met this wonderful man through a mutual guy friend and we started dating about 7ish months ago. We clicked immediately…. spent lots of time together….in the beginning maybe 4 days a week…. He was great, attentive, affectionate, friendly, respectful, funny, just perfect…had his stuff together job/home/car wise…. We really hit it off …I got pregnant after month 2…. we ended the pregnancy mutually and STILL continued on…literally like best friends…. we both have decent paying jobs are under the age of 32 but not in our 20s….we have lives outside of each other and would speak daily seeing each other 1 to 2 times…sometimes 3 times a week as we got busier…….. around the end of month 3 he ran into unexpected financial issues….. this didnt bother me at all, as I seriously saw potential in the relationship and knew it wasn’t permanent…..this definately took a toll on him but we still continued spending time as we always had…….. he started to get distant while we were apart but everytime we saw each other our chemistry continued to grow…. month 5 and his living situation completely changed….. still not a problem for me, I even told him he could crash with me a couple nights a week….. all of his issues will rectify themselves within the next 3 to 4 months so I didn’t see them as a deal breaker…. I REALLY have strong feelings for him. He told me he loved me once but we were so drunk…I didn’t take it too serious and I never brought it up again…. last month… month 6… the last time I saw him in person…. we had a great night as usual…. went to work the next day as usual…… that evening I could tell things were different but I didn’t know why. …..fast forward to that weekend…. I didn’t hear from him at all but I know he went out with friends….. I didn’t hear from him for the next 4 days straight……..which was a first. I called him on it and was told, I could’ve called him if I wanted to…. I figured he wanted space…. as time progressed, I started hearing from him less and got to the point that I was initiating contact 85% of the time. I started to get clingy and obsessive with the texting and would get responses like, I’m busy, I don’t have time, etc. He’d reach out to tell me to drive safe, or hopefully I’m doing well……and then I stopped hearing from him at all. Now we’re in this month….. 7. I left him a voicemail telling him I hope he is ok and that I’d like to have a face to face. Nothing…… he completely ignored me for days……stopped replying or answering my calls, which honestly I only called him twice. Soooo last week I called him from another number, that I use for buisness and caught him off guard….. he answered and was emotionless and not the guy I’m used to. He was very direct and told me he does not have time for me, my texts annoyed him, and that he can not make me a priority, he has too much going on. He said he knows we make time for what he want but that he can’t. I told him I understand, and would just like 20 mins of his time to have a face to face….(I super miss him) he refused…. I rebuttaled with, “You don’t have 20 mins? You really don’t want to see me?” He said he didn’t…. I told him I just want to see where we stand or if this is a door I should close…. He told me he didn’t know what to tell me and had to go…..ended the call. This is a man that had NO PROBLEM telling me missed me and needed me not 3 weeks ago.
OBVIOUSLY, I am CRUSHED…. I’ve met his whole family, friends…. and was just getting comfortable introducing him to mine…. I’m so puzzled. Please help. I’ve implemented NC as of our last convo…which has only been a few days….. HELP! Is there a chance? I have a hard time believing he feels nothing for me after everything….. but he sounded so emotionless when we talked. I’m trying not to obsess….. my brothers say forget him….. my friends say I’m too good for him, but I don’t feel that way. I need help….. is NC even worth it? Do I try to forget him? I’ve been studying this site daily.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 13, 2016 at 8:17 pm

Hi Soul aching hurt,

Nonetheless, whether nc is worth it or not, it’s still better than chasing. Clearly, he doesn’t want to talk right now. So, the best you can do is to heal and improve yourself. Don’t look like a chaser.

priya

December 13, 2016 at 1:39 am

hey amor!

me and my bf of 2+ years broke up last sunday and have been nc 8 days today. he sent me an email this morning to which i haven’t responded but things were bad. he called the cops when he came to visit me in chicago because he wanted to leave in the middle of the night and i care for him so i tried to stop him from going (it was a city, freezing, he was half sick, not the safest area) i just didn’t want something to happen to him and i was going home to where he wanted to leave to anyway the next morning (the initial plan was wed drive back together the next day). he had been pulling away so i told him the effort had to be 50 50 and i don’t think he liked that he began packing up his things to go and said he called because he felt trapped. the cops came and i told them to take him with them, they did but he wound up driving back home with me 12 hours the next day anyway chicago to baltimore and when i left him i told him maybe we will both find someone else or each other but we can’t be together right now. he kept crying and saying he loved me, i told him i would come say goodbye when i move back to chicago end of march, but we haven’t spoken since then. his email this morning read:
We may never understand each other but I really did love you. There were things I hated but they weren’t able to make me stop loving you. I guess we just aren’t able to give each other what we need. I know I wasn’t. I’m aware that no one may love me the way you might have but I don’t know, maybe that’s a good thing. In the good times, thank you for accepting me for who I am. For what it’s worth I do miss you.

my question is: i’ve thought and made a list of all the problems we had, which i think i caused, which he did, which i believe i can live with and which absolutely have to change, im wondering if i reply to his email in a few days with logical solutions to these issues if it would be ok to do this and insodoing, break nc? what do you suggest?

thank you for your guidance!!

Priya Jayant Desai

December 13, 2016 at 10:24 pm

i meant i made a list of all the issues we faced, marked those i felt responsible for, highlighted the ones he was responsible for. and of those, which i felt i could live with and which absolutely have to change. however if i am going to talk first about things with him, i need to know my approach will not backfire. i wrote a long response email out and erased everything and changed it to just something short and positive to see if that causes a response from him as opposed to being overly emotional and talking about problems in my response email. i thought it might be a bit overwhelming if i did that.
what do you think his email meant? id like to believe it means more that he reached out at all than what exactly he said in it. i hope we can figure things out and i can speak from a place of more logic than emotion and not rush things again but i do miss him. i was waiting a few days to reply to make him sweat but if i’m considering talking things out before nc then i should just send it right? not wait any longer?
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2016 at 1:12 am

Ah in that case, I think you should just proceed to nc.. Change yourself, improve, take this as a restart. Once you have built rapport and decided to get back together later on, then that’s when you should talk about what the do’s and don’ts of the relationship are. Let your actions do that talking.. Change first. Maybe both of you just really need space to cool down, think and heal.
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 13, 2016 at 7:45 pm

Hi Priya,

I didn’t understand your question fully. Correct me if I’m wrong. You said you made a list of all the problems that you caused? And did you mean the ones he caused that needs to change but you can live with? How can you live with the problems if it has to change? That means you can’t live with it. If you want to work out by talking, talk first before doing nc.

Fran

December 11, 2016 at 5:25 pm

My ex doesn’t follow me on any social media anymore and blocked my number thoughts ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 14, 2016 at 1:17 pm

HI Fran,

I think this one can help you:
EBR 048: My Ex Boyfriend Unfriended Me On Facebook…. What Does It Mean?

Carol

December 11, 2016 at 1:34 pm

This is such a helpful post! My boyfriend broke up with me because he moved to minnesota for senior year and it was just hard for him. He wanted to do what’s best for us but I really want him back :(. He’s coming back for college in 5 months but I’m not sure if I should wait for him. I did all the going out with other guys and working out to try to forget him and I still can’t. Sometimes I just wanna text him and tell him how I really feel but at the same time I don’t wanna bother him. I haven’t talked to him or bothered him but do you think it’s safe to be straight up with him and tell him that I tried to forget him but I cant? also I definitely think he still wants me because he still posts about our inside jokes, I have him on soundcloud and he listens to songs about me (lmao I know its ridiculous). Sometimes he even messages me out of nowhere but it’s dry like he’s doubting. I believe that if he really wants me he would talk but at the same time I also think that the distance is holding him back cause even if he gets back to me it’s just gonna go back to the same feeling on why he broke up with me; it’s cause long distance relationship is unhealthy and he’s just not generally happy moving to minnesota from florida. So please what should I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 14, 2016 at 11:20 am

Hi Carol,

When did you break up? Check this:
The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship

What It Takes To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

MyHeartHurts

December 11, 2016 at 7:21 am

My boyfriend and I live together for years and had some bad times in our relationship and now he met a girl and wants to be with her because he has feelings for her but I want him back what can I do? I tried to be nicer and make up and I can’t do no contact when he comes home every day after work

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 13, 2016 at 4:51 pm

Hi My heart hurts,

when is he moving out? Check this two posts:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

Michele

December 8, 2016 at 4:54 pm

My ex fiancé broke things off after 2 1/2 years. He has been back and forth about three times since the first year and a half saying we have no future but then coming around. We got along very well, liked the same things, etc. I lived an hour away and saw him half of the week with our schedules until the last four months when we lived together. I saw at that time how much he drank alcohol, which I did not condone but did not try to control. I didn’t complain or argue about it because we still got along well. Every so often he would golf or be with his buddies and that is when he would drink more to the point his actions towards me would change. He would be very edgy and grumpy, then next thing he would say it’s not working out and break up. Our last break up was when a friend from out of town visited. They were drinking and laughing, joking with me. Next thing I knew he was upset because I did not act like a good hostess to his friend. He asked me to heat the apps for them and I asked which ones they wanted—and he suddenly made a sarcastic comment, you cook from scratch but can’t heat food? So I went upstairs for the evening since his friend was there and I was angry. The next day he was not happy with me, When I asked why, his answers were vague, like, I don’t see how we have a future, you don’t even get how you act, you don’t make my friends feel welcome….I wanted him to understand how he had acted but it only irritated him and he said I wasn’t taking responsibility for my part. This happened three times in similar circumstances. Then he would pick right up where he left off and no one could tell we were broke up. He would never say sorry but instead would say things like ” you know we are wayyy more than friends….” Then we would be ” back together”. This last time He continued to say he loved me, even the last day I saw him he said he would miss me and he loved me. I moved away a month after the last break up, but until I did we went camping, to dinner, and got along perfectly like always. The difference was I knew I was changing jobs and would be moving and so did he. When I told him my move date he acted sad and surprised it had come so soon. Not once did he ask me not to go or say he wanted us to work it out. He is also moving because he decided to sell his place. He says he doesn’t know where he will move but it will still be within an hour of where I am. I could only say, ok. I have suspicions he is having $ problems but he hasn’t told me that. Drugs? The few weeks before I left he wanted to do things with me everyday. He even wanted to cancel on a game with his buddy but I told him he should go have fun. Two days before I left he wanted to take me to dinner. He said he would miss me and he loved me. One day before I left he said , ” If you want I am supposed to go to my Aunts for a dinner party…I’d like you to come and stay the rest of week, but I understand if you need to go.” I left the next day as I had planned. I didn’t think staying through weekend made sense….just to be more confused. He called the evening I left to check on me, called On day five—small talk but he mentioned, “it’s quiet here now, I have to find things to do while my house is shown and I went to the lake (where we use to go), then before hanging up said ” it’s good to hear your voice, have good night”. I pretty much just said ok. I haven’t contacted him. He texted me on day 12; he sent me a phone number I needed and asked how are you? I have not responded. I don’t understand what’s going on with him….he has never been married or engaged and has no children. I have one child that he had said he wanted to adopt….so, does he miss me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 12, 2016 at 2:46 pm

Hi Michele,

It’s human nature that he will miss you because he’s used to you being there but that doesn’t he’s going to change for that. Unless he sees that you’re not really going to allow him to disrespect you anymore, he will not change. The chance that I see is that you move on, improve yourself, improve your life, if he wants to try again, take it slow, and let him prove first if he has really changed. Once he shows, he hasn’t, walk away.

Shannon Page

December 7, 2016 at 2:54 am

How can I make him miss me if we live together?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 10, 2016 at 7:39 pm

Hi Shannon,

check this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

debbie

December 6, 2016 at 9:19 am

Hello my ex broke 6 days ago with me after 5 years because he don’t want me anymore butt he still loves me he said and he wanne be friend i was very upset en told him that too he did very cold so i saw thiss site en did the nc 2 days that i did de nc he trying to make me jealous but gave no attention so now he ask my little sister too the movies I am confused and do not know what to think, he does not talk to me, what do you think??

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 10, 2016 at 11:29 am

Hi Debbie,

2 days is too short for a no contact rule. I think you should should restart and do at least 30 days.

Pam

December 5, 2016 at 10:36 pm

Horrible ending last night. I saw him going to his FWB. Yes just FWB. Yes I was stalking because I was suspicous. Does it count when proven right? He was there less than an hour she is an old lady. Like mid 50s. Wtf. Anyway. A million texts last night. A million today (fail I know…on so many levels on my part the last 24 hours). He says I bring out hate in him. He hates me. 🙁 so obviously no contact now. I know we love each other. But he will be sidetracked having nasty sex with this old lady. I’m so stricken. 30 days. Christmas alone

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 9, 2016 at 1:22 am

Hi Pam,

You know what’s a more lonely feeling? When you’re with somebody at a certain time and yet, you still feel alone. It’s better to be with the people who make you feel loved on Christmas than force somebody who doesn’t..

Lost

December 5, 2016 at 6:16 pm

My on and off ex for two years left me for the girl he kept flip flopping between.

Confused?

For the last year he has jumped between me and another woman, citing her personality being “boring” and conversations “stale”. He claimed to miss our “emotional and soul connection” as well as our conversations. With her, it was always physical.

He left me for her and two months later was begging for me back, miserable and anxious without me. Now, 6 weeks later, he decided to try with her, as his hormones have been out of sync and he feels like a “different person”. He says his priorities changed, that he knows she isn’t a perfect person but, she can be perfect for him. He says she “matches him better” and everyone settles in life. He also said hes getting old and needs to take action.

He blocked me from everything except email a week after the break up. We still spoke in email but mostly he was saying his usual “just move on” and “this is goodbye”. The only difference between this time and every other time is I’m blocked. He left me un blocked on email but on my 3rd day of NC (today), I reached out. No response.

Do I still have a chance? is it even possible? Does someone magically change their mind about someone who didn’t fulfill them for a year?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 8, 2016 at 10:09 pm

HI Lost,

Nope, nobody just magically changes. There’s not guarantee that the no contact rule will work, but you can’t send him emails and social media stalk him during the no contact period. So, you have to restart the count. He fulfills his physical needs through her? If you are going to restart, I think you need to do 45 days.

Mayra ruiz

December 5, 2016 at 1:50 pm

Hi,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for three months, I know not too long. It has been great since the beginning. He was in town for a little over a month, for work training. Then he had to go back home. We decided to continue out relationship and even talked about me moving up there so we can be close to each other. A week ago I went up to visit and we had a really good week. The day after I came back I noticed he seemed a little distracted. I must say, he had told me since the beginning that he is more of an introvert and when he feels stressed he likes to be home watching tv or playing games. Two days later he told me he had all this schedule changes at work and he was stressed out and felt exhausted and sometimes he just didn’t feel like talking to anyone. I took it personal and kept insisting in talking to him. Yesterday morning he broke up with me, he said I’m too pushy. I had never seen him like that and he had never pushed me away, so I freaked out. I haven’t tried to contact him since yesterday, but I really want to try to be back with him since we have always been great together.

mayra ruiz

December 5, 2016 at 4:51 pm

hi, thank you for your reply. So pretty much, I should give him some time and space, since that was the issue that caused the breakup. And try to contact him via text message?
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 8, 2016 at 9:42 pm

You’re welcome! Yes, you should give him space but while you’re giving him space, improve yourself through no contact rule and then after the no contact rule, you can initiate contact.
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 5, 2016 at 4:29 pm

HI Mayra,

read this one:
Introverted Ex Boyfriends Vs. Extroverted Ex Boyfriends (How To Approach Them)

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