7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

vivian

November 7, 2016 at 9:07 pm

What should i do Since he was the one that broke up with me
What are the chances he will come back. After breaking up twice can we still come back?
vivian

November 7, 2016 at 8:43 pm

What are the chances of getting him back if he was the one that broke up with me? Can we come back after breaking up twice?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 9, 2016 at 6:52 am

Hi Vivian,

it depends on the reason and sometimes on how long you were together.. If you’re on and off, there’s a chance he’ll come back.. the challenge with that is making the reconciliation last

Nafi

November 6, 2016 at 9:12 am

After my first meeting from 8 months relationship ,when i came back to my country
cause of an argue and he didnt accept my apology so i chose 1month NC after that i sent text to my ex ,we continued till 2 weeks and these three last days ,he started to send me some sex quotes with some images and we talked about those .At first i thought because it was my first experience in bed while we met each other ,he wants to help me improve but from yesterday he didnt reply me back and even didnt BLUE TICK my message to show me that he has seen it.Is it push and pull? what should i do?

Nafi

November 12, 2016 at 5:14 am

I just sent him Hi and now its been 1week that even he hasn’t seen my messages although I saw him online on Whatsapp.What should I do? I dont know what happened ,he was the one who started to send me sexual quotes to discuss about them then at the middle of conversation he didnt reply me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 14, 2016 at 9:17 pm

Hi Naf,
a hi or hello text is a no no. it’s not engaging and interesting. Try to initiate again and use the advise on this link:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

if he still doesnt reply or only talks sexually, move on.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 3:18 pm

jusy rest from texting for a few days.. avoid initiating sexual topics too..if he starts it, reply in humorous way.. yoymu can transition to calls by this time too

S

November 4, 2016 at 7:28 pm

Thank you Amor ! Yes, I’m still doing NC and keep posting my positive pictures , showing how I’m doing well and happy everyday . ( I started NC on 10/2, and broke it on 10/19, he asked me “hope you are good”, I said “I’m good, thanks) But today, I realized he blocked me on The social media ( I could see his posts everyday after break up, but from yesterday I can’t see anymore., I think he just blocked his posts, I still can send messages to him , I haven’t tried yet though) he can still see all of my stuffs though. I’m guessing he was trying to make me to contact him , also beg him….. because before when we were fighting, I was always trying to meet him to have conversation and make up our relationship ,kind of like I was begging him every time. But this time, it was his fault, he got strong emotions,also said ” don’t contact me again!”,that was really hurts me, so , I dont want to do chase him like before.

I have some questions…..
why he blocked me at this timing? It’s mean NC is start to working on him?

do you think he is angry about me, because I didn’t chase him like before, also I posted my happy life pictures got his jealous, So, he wants to hurts me?( I told him that I really don’t like BLOCK before when we were fighting…)

Or he just wants to move on because he thinks I’m already move on…(; 😉

I’m pretty sure we still love and miss each other….. Do I need do more longer NC? ( even I don’t want to ,,,(ｰｰ;)

Thank you for your help again!

S

November 12, 2016 at 7:21 pm

So, do you mean I need extend my NC until he contacts me? I don’t know if he will or not …. . Do you think the long term NC can change him to move first to me?
I even think he might give up and move on if he is keep seeing lots of my fun pictures on my Social media . Do I think too much about that?
I really did everything my best ( also keep doing) , really want to get him back. I’m just so scare if he really give up on me during The NC period. Even I read all of articles about NC on this website, I’m still worry…. Sorry , I’m little bit messed up ….
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 7:44 am

nope just be active in posting in social media, if he doesnt initiate, then you have to
S

November 9, 2016 at 3:26 am

Hi, Amor! Thank you for helping me again!!^ – ^

So, My 30days NC (extend) will complete on 11/19 ,I got Text bible and learning about First Messages now. But I’m really struggling with that . I really hope he can contact me first…

We had lots of good memories and I know what he likes or dislikes very well, and I also understand what kind of message should I send after NC, but I still don’t know how to make it,,,,Maybe my pride bothers me,,,,I don’t want to be seems like I’m still chasing him like before every time when we were fighting I had to do that always

I know we are both stubborn… How can Make him to contact me first?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2016 at 12:34 pm

That’s hard to answer because it’s like you want him to do things but the higher chance of influencing that, is through you actions. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Keep being active in social media looking like you’re moving on and that you won’t start a relationship talk if he ever tried to talk to you.
S

November 4, 2016 at 7:35 pm

my comments wasn’t showing up, so I posted serval times, sorry about that …
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 11:20 pm

It’s ok S! Actually, I think your guess is right. So, don’t give in.. And yes, you have to extend nc if you’re still blocked, because basically, it’s the safer choice rather than go back on your image of being the chaser right?

Rae Lee

November 4, 2016 at 2:22 am

Hi EBR team,
I successfully completed the no contact then texted my man and go no response. He ghosted on me to end our relationship so I’m wondering how to move forward. He blocked me on some small applications like kik but I still can text him and he has read my messages. I’m not sure if I should initiate another no contact or just wait a few days, maybe a week or so before reaching out again. I’m thinking maybe my first contact text was too weak so I’m considering these two: the first would be a question like “Me and my friends want to try surfing for the first time this year, what is the best spot to try?” and I think it would work well as he is an avid surfer and would likely respond. The next one would be something refarding an event we were both going to go to before he stopped responding to me-and would be something like “Hey I ended up going to that show in the reef and it was so incredible I hope you had the chance to go, I’ve been to about a couple shows in the past week and it’s been really fun! I hope you are doing well.” This one would work well because I would be able to show him that I’ve been having fun after the break up even though he can’t see it since we aren’t friends on social media. Not sure what to do and appreciate any additional advice you have! I did get the texting bible and am trying to implement the rules outlined in there on these first contact messages to ensure my second try will be more successful.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2016 at 12:01 am

Hi Rae,

he blocked before or after the first contact message? And how long has it been since that first contact message? The common approach is wait a week after getting no response, and then try again. If you still got no response the second time, wait two weeks before trying again. If you still don’t get a response after that, that means you have to move on.

I like the second text better because it doesn’t sound like you’re just trying to get him to talk to you.

S

November 4, 2016 at 1:08 am

have some questions…..
why he blocked me at this timing? It’s mean NC is start to working on him?

do you think he is angry about me, because I didn’t chase him like before, also I posted my happy life pictures got his jealous, So, he wants to hurts me?( I told him that I really don’t like BLOCK before when we were fighting…)

Or he just wants to move on because I’m already move on…(; 😉

I’m pretty sure we still love and miss each other….. Do I need do more longer NC? ( even I don’t want to ,,,(ｰｰ;)

S

November 4, 2016 at 1:15 am

Sorry… For some reason I only posted a part of my comments….
So I posted again ….

Thank you Amor ! Yes, I’m still doing NC and keep posting my positive pictures , showing how I’m doing well and happy everyday . ( I started NC on 10/2, and broke it on 10/19, he asked me “hope you are good”, I said “I’m good, thanks)

But today, I realized he blocked me on The social media ( I could see his posts everyday after break up, but from yesterday I can’t see anymore., I think he just blocked his posts, I still can send messages to him , I haven’t tried yet though) he can still see all of my stuffs though.

I’m guessing he was trying to make me to contact him , also beg him….. because before when we were fighting, I was always trying to meet him to have conversation and make up our relationship ,kind of like I was begging him every time. But this time, it was his fault, he got strong emotions,also said ” don’t contact me again!”,that was really hurts me, so , I dont want to do the same thing like before.

I have some questions…..
why he blocked me at this timing? It’s mean NC is start to working on him?

do you think he is angry about me, because I didn’t chase him like before, also I posted my happy life pictures got his jealous, So, he wants to hurts me?( I told him that I really don’t like BLOCK before when we were fighting…)

Or he just wants to move on because I’m already move on…(; 😉

I’m pretty sure we still love and miss each other….. Do I need do more longer NC? ( even I don’t want to ,,,(ｰｰ;)

Jane

November 1, 2016 at 10:03 am

Hi,
My ex boyfriend broke up with me last month. He pointed out that he doesn’t in love with me as I do. I agree that we might have different path as I’m going to forgive him because from the beginning I have known that I have an anxiety and he was pretty good at comforting me. 3 weeks I ignore his messages, he initiate to invite me to his family dinner and he wanted to start over.. I didn’t agree right away, but the next day I said yes we might have another chance to start over. 3 days after the relationship was begin again, he pulled off. He always had a reason not to text me right away, I called him but he didn’t answer and stuffs. It only lasted for 10 days. He broke it off again by saying he didn’t want force things between him and me and he couldn’t love me back. I block him right away. Couldn’t explain the pain and suffer I’ve been through.. Is there any possibilities where I can make him misses me even if we tried to go back together once? How do I make it?

Jane

November 2, 2016 at 5:19 am

Hi Amor,
Could I make it even if he told me that he wasn’t in love with me? I’m pretty sure right now he is seeing someone else but I really want to improve myself to be the girl he wanted me to be. Do I have to unblock him from all social medias in case he wants to reach me?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 3, 2016 at 1:59 pm

I think he meant he lost attraction with you..so, the improvement can help increase your chances..but dont change for him, change for yourself..yes, you can unblock him, but dont send a friend request..it’s just to help him see your pists easily because even if he messages you shouldnt answer him
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 8:26 pm

Hi Jane,

yes, you can still try the advice above and check this one too:
The Ungettable Girl

Carolina

October 31, 2016 at 11:16 am

Hi, I and my ex broke up about three days ago. At first it was me who initiate the break up and then he came over to my home and said he wanted to make things right and that he wanted us to do things together just like old times. But somehow I said to him I need time to think about it, so he agreed and we didn’t text each other for about four days ( it’s 2 days before the official break up). And then when I think I already sure with the answer and after a long period of thinking, I texted him saying are you busy and stuffs, can we talk, then I said that I think we can start over again and try to understand each other this time but then he replied that he already “think” that we are over the day I told him that I needed some times. I was in shock because it wasn’t that I said we’re already over (and also he agree that he will give me some times to think), but in that four days he said that he already think about everything and think that this is the best way for both of us, being separated.

I’m seriously in shock and did those terrible mistakes a girl can do post break up : begging, send him tons of messages ask him to give me chances and so… and just as I know the answer, he ignored and said no to me twice. That kind of broke my heart for sure. Then I came across many site that explains about how can I get my ex back and the number one thing that they mostly suggest is the No Contact rule. But there are several questions I need to ask, what if when I do the no contact strategy plus the social media one and he saw me looking happy and enjoying life and not affected by the break up but that makes him think that I am actually happy without him so it’s better for him to walk away? That will make the strategy fail right? And as long as I know, he’s not that type of guy who will be like “Man she’s getting prettier” and stuffs when I change my profile picture or if I post something that related to me. He will tend to think that I’m just trying to get attention to “other guys” (which will make him think i’m an attention seeker) and he will think like “She must be texting with other guys now” and it will make him become more ensure with his decision to break up with me. None of us cheated when we’re together, but he’s a pretty insecure guy, my ex. Is there a high chance that the no contact strategy will fail and it makes him won’t miss me at all? And what if he’s too stubborn to admit that he miss me or want to talk to me? I told him this time I’m being very serious that I want to repair the relationship, and to redeem my mistakes, because we both had a pretty deep relationship and he told me when we were still together that he glad he found me because I’m like “not-like-the-other” to him and that he couldn’t think of getting another person to be in a relationship with except with me, and that he told my sister he would never let me go whatever happens because he said he’s already comfortable with me. But all of these things just messed my mind, I kinda lose hope but deep down inside, somehow, I have this feeling that maybe he will open his heart again and try to give me another chance (because if we can really getting back together I promise myself to be a better person and try to understand his needs…) Please give me thoughts, thank you so much !

Carolina

November 27, 2016 at 1:11 pm

Yeah… My nc just ended but we don’t have each other contact anymore since he remove me from friend list, and I did unblock him but few days ago he removed me from his contact. It has been 30 days but I don’t hear anything from him since he removed me that day, and I have this feeling of not texting him first because on day 25 he’s still being angry and disappointed about everything. I’m doing fine right now, I mean the nc really give me time to cool down and I know exactly the real reason of doing nc since I feel like I already improved although my mind is (sometimes) still stuck in the memory of him.. He keeps on following new girls on his social media ( I stalk him sometimes but it doesn’t hurt me as much as when we first broke up) and it makes me think if maybe he didn’t reach out to me because he’s already move on and try to get new lover? So do you think I should stay quiet for another week? I’m afraid if I try to reach out to him he will just ignore me..
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2016 at 5:45 pm

Yup.. If you’re not ready to initiate it would be better to extend nc
Carolina

November 24, 2016 at 11:48 am

Hello, I got a little update here, my nc will last three days from now, but 3 days ago he deleted me from Line, which is the only platform where I have his contact at. I made mistakes by unfollowing him on social media and blocked his number (but this is because my mom wants me to). So long story short, he texted me again after the last time he texted me (I think I told you on the previous comments), this time saying even worse things about me, how I’m acting like an easy woman and I try to attract people attention by posting on social media (I’m pretty sure he tried to check me on social media using either his friend or family account bcs we followed each other), and since I want to stick to the nc and knowing that he will act even more excessive if I reply to his text, I ignored it and block him right away bcs I just can’t stand all of these bad things that he said towards me. The next day, when I try to look up to his contact, I can’t find his name. Thats when I know he removed me from his friend list.

Now I’m just very confuse.. On day 24 he still send me texts that full of anger just like the last time he did and even remove me from his friend. Is it a sign that he doesn’t want to anything to do with me anymore for the rest of his life? Why do I feel like this will bring me to a bad end ..? I tried to improve myself. I cried and feel sad for 2 weeks but on week 3 I started to feel better and started to finish my works. This is week 4 but I feel bad in a sudden because I think he doesn’t want to keep in touch with me anymore since he doesn’t have my contact, and what I can think of right now is he remove me from his friend list because he think I ignored him and blocked him right away (?) I know it probably seems like a mistake but that night I just can’t stand his offensive texts towards me, it hurting me so bad and almost failed my “improving time”… So the idea of first contact text is just like a dream to me right now….

what do you think amor?thankyou so much in advance!
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 26, 2016 at 7:50 pm

I think you should let him cool down.. It would be better if you unblock him too.
Carolina

November 20, 2016 at 2:04 pm

Hi Amor, I need to ask, what should I do if he keeps on saying bad things towards me ? BUt he didn’t do it on my face, he’s using several platform and telling his friends about things that I don’t understand. I mean I’m still on no contact it’s day 23 and he still has this negativity around him because he keeps on bad-mouthing me but I feel (almost) triggered to text him and ask him why would he do that… I tried hard not to care at first but he just won’t stop. Any thoughts?? Thank you !
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 22, 2016 at 8:36 pm

This would be hard but ignore it for now and keep improving and posting because if you keep showing positive things,contradicting what he says, he will just look like he is a bitter ex.. And let’s see how he responds with the first contact text
Carolina

November 14, 2016 at 9:29 am

For the next couple of days he still doing it, liking posts and stuffs but now he completely stop. So I should just keep going with no contact then? Do you think I can send him e-mail in the future and what kind of message that won’t make him delete my message right away? I almost fail in this nc to be honest because I liked posts that says that I miss everything, is that considered as breaking the nc rule?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 14, 2016 at 9:54 pm

Yeah, don’t like posts. But if you only, did that one time, just continue the count. Focus in improving yourself. Check this for your first contact text:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
Carolina

November 10, 2016 at 11:28 am

Hi Amor it has been 13 days since my nc. During the nc I liked some posts that says “I miss our conversations” and stuffs, and I try to be active on social media as smooth as possible so it doesn’t look like I try to show him that I moved on completely. I post my self picture and stuffs but then he texted me this afternoon saying things like “Whoa you posted your selfies a lot now (which is not because I only post like 3 pictures and the rest was just a pic with my sister and friend). You do it to attract guy’s attention right? Well, then thank God I break up with you, my decision was right. Many of my friends said that you “bait” me using your instagram (which I don’t understand since we didn’t follow each other on ig again). Some of them even want to flirt with you because you’re “easy”. I said “Go ahead, chase her, I don’t care anymore”. Thank you for showing your “true self” to me, now I know who you are. It’s useless when you have a pretty face but a bad personality.” And then he liked this post that says “Bye, b*tch” and stuffs.

I didn’t react to his text anyway. I delete it right away but it just makes me sad thinking of how he hates me so much now. I don’t know if I did something wrong here (please tell me if I really do something wrong), but this just makes me think that he really hates me and don’t even want to talk to me anymore.

Anyway he didn’t block me even if I just read his text, at least not for now.

Any thoughts? thank you anyway…
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 13, 2016 at 5:21 pm

that’s good that you didn’t reply.. He’s probably pissed because of what his friends has been saying and it can be a form of ego and control for you to reply too..
Carolina

November 4, 2016 at 4:55 am

How about if I try to bait him during the nc, like maybe posting something or liking some posts that stated that I’m still into him and want him back? Something like “I miss talking to you”,, Is that consider as contacting in the nc rule?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2016 at 1:03 am

hmm actually you can try a psyche play. It was mentioned in this blog post:
Your Worst Nightmares During The No Contact Rule.

I’m going to quote what’s written there.

“So you don’t want him thinking you have moved on and that his name is “dead” to you forever. So what can you do to keep that relationship spark alive?

You should do what you fear! Implement the No Contact Rule and drop little hints in social media or with your friends that you are happy and engaged with life. Say nice and lovely things to your friends about him. Make positive references about him in social media like, “my ex is a really great guy and it’s a shame we were not able to work thru things”.

I call this “psyche play”. You are like planting little seeds that hopefully get rooted in your ex boyfriend’s mind. Over time, it plays over and over again. You control the message.

Meanwhile, while you are in No Contact Period, be active in improving yourself and having your own life. Show him you have moved on (but you think of him fondly), but also show him that you’re not going to chase him anymore because you have a full life.”
Carolina

November 2, 2016 at 12:21 pm

Okay… one more question, what if during the break up he said that he thinks this is not going to work out , and that he told me he forgive me and everything but he said he think he can’t continue this and this is the best decision for us in the future… I responded to him, admitting my mistakes and I meant it, but he replied something like “Are you sure about that, if you really want to come back to me, you will change what I don’t like about you, what we have been talking about?” But before I can responded to that he continued, “But it’s your attitude, your behaviour, and you can’t and will not change it anyway because it’s just “you”, so I think this is for our best.”
What I got there is that he actually want to take me back but he is doubtful because of past experiences maybe, but I tried to convince him and his final answer is still no that time… I have this small feelings that he still care and love me but what make me scared is the fact that he’s probably too stick with his decision or he’s too stubborn and have his pride for not contact me back later.
What do you think again? Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 3, 2016 at 4:03 pm

He just doesnt believe you’ll change.. Of course trying to convince him with words will not work, because that’s pleading..that’s why most of the time, exes come back when the girl has already moved on, because that’s when the girl became better and independent
Carolina

November 1, 2016 at 8:15 am

But what if during the NC he is convinced by his friends to just move on and get another girl? I’m not sure how did he see “us” during our relationship but that one just make me scared. Some times he also pop up on social medias as if he want to show “me” that “I’m happy without you” “My life just got a lot better after this end” and liked some posts that said stuffs like “I’m a nice person so if I’m being an **shole to you you better ask yourself why”. This makes me think if maybe he really hates me or think I’m this “bad” for ruining the relationship. Is there any way that I can fix this up, you know, changing his negative mindset of “me”. Thanks for the reply
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 8:14 pm

Real love can’t be just about convincing from friends.. if he easily replaced you, it’s either he fall out of love long ago before you realized or she’s a rebound. check this one:
The Ungettable Girl
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 12:39 am

Hi Carolina,

How would he miss you if you’re always present? Even if there’s not guarantee that the no contact rule will work, being present will not make him miss you.

Naf

October 29, 2016 at 8:14 am

I was in NC for 1 month after 8months relationship cause of what
i said to my ex about the bottom of his body in our first visiting in his country.
although i apology after that but he didnt accept and said we can be friends to help me with learning his language not anymore and no Skype.Since at first we were language partner and i was practicing with him his language.Now its been 1 week that
every day i`ve started conversation and he continues it nicely and help me to practice his language.Now i feel he is continuing what he said to me to just help me as a friend for learning his language, since he never changes his decisions.

Should i transfer our conversation to Skype and pretending i need to practice his language more,
maybe in this way we can talk face to face then i say to him all i said about his body
was a test to see his manner and wasnt serious?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 31, 2016 at 6:22 pm

that would bw awkward if you say it in a call.. if you really want to explain, explain in chat or text

Tamara

October 28, 2016 at 1:27 pm

Hi. My ex and I work in the same building but different floors.I broke up with my ex 29 days ago. A week after I did crazy things like making sure I bumped into him and being almost clingy. I saw that it boosted his ego a little bit. So I came across this website and immediately stopped what I did. I started the no contact on the 7th of October 2016. It has been a roller coaster ride as I am experiencing all the emotions that you had stated in your articles. However, I have held on to the nc. I have even changed my lunch times and avoided the routes I know we can bump into. I just need encouragement because its hurting even though I know its the right thing to do. I think what kills me the most is that he has not contacted me ever since and I dont know how he is feeling although his colleague mentioned in passing that he was booked off sick 2 weeks after we broke up. Please encourage me. Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 29, 2016 at 1:56 am

Hi Tamara, EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Check this two:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant

You did the right thing by trying to avoid him. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Just, baby steps.

Christy

October 27, 2016 at 5:32 pm

I have been friends with this guy for about 18 years. We first met through mutual friends, and he was in a long term relationship and I was married. We lost contact for a long time, but ran into each other about 3 years ago, and we were both single, so we decided to hook up. We had a summer of fun, hanging out at the pool, and well, hooking up. After about 3-4 months, we still texted randomly, but then we each ended up in a relationship and really didn’t talk. Fast forward to this past January; I receive a text completely out of the blue from him. He told me one of our mutual acquaintances had passed. From there for a few months, not much contact; just a random text here and there about a tv show or something. We are both big baseball fans, and when ball season started we picked up a bit in our contact. Eventually around May, we started getting together for a drink, and then it picked up to hanging out more often. In June we were at the pool, and had just spent an incredible weekend together. I made the mistake of asking if he would consider a relationship of more than friends (with benefits) and he said he cared about me and our friendship, and even loves me as a friend, but he was not interested in a relationship. I of course got upset, but decided that we both would rather have each other in our lives than have no relationship at all. Over the past six months, I could feel a change. He started asking me to go out and do things; baseball games, horse races, just hanging out, etc etc. Making me dinner, helping me when I was hurt, helping with stuff around my house. Asking me for advice,…the list goes on. Telling me I had gorgeous eyes, telling me certain sweet songs reminded him of me. I talked to a girl who is our friend and she said she hasn’t seen him this happy in forever. She has known him most of his life and her husband is his best friend. Out of the blue last week, I went over on Saturday (after having a great weeek with him etc) and he was different. He brought up again that he told me he didn’t want a relationship and that I am a fun person to hang around with, and that he enjoys being with me. I got upset and basically spilled my guts and told him I was in love with him, and couldn’t handle being just his fun friend that he hooks up with and ended up leaving. He texted me that night to check on me. I didn’t reply. He texted again in the morning and asked if I was ok, and I replied yes. He has been overly texty with me, and I started responding with short sporadic answers. He found out about a bad incident and texted that he was “so sorry pumpkin and let me know what i can do to help”. I am so confused. I cannot imagine losing my best friend, but I crossed the line with my emotions and I know I can never go back to just hooking up and being friends. I know he cares about me, and even loves me. But he is very stubborn, and I know that if he says no relationship, he probably means it. The problem is his actions and words do not match up over the past few months. I want to try no contact, but I also don’t want to lose an 18 year friendship. I want him to miss me and realize what he could be losing. Help!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 28, 2016 at 11:49 pm

Hi Christy,

how would he miss you and realize your worth if you don’t treat yourself the way you want to be treated? It has to start with your standards.. And you won’t really miss a person who’s always there right?

S

October 27, 2016 at 4:45 am

My boyfriend broke up with me almost 4weeks ago. (We were together about 1.5 years) We were fighting through chatting, the reason was he suspected me dating with another guy, actually He totally just misunderstood me . Finally, he realized that was his problem, but I was angry because he did some tricky things to tried track me. So, we got fight…..and He was being very emotional and said “we are through! don’t contact me again!” Then I started NC right away. But last week, Someone logged in my LINE, I was so angry and worried about maybe that’s HE( he was tracking me before when we broke up), So, I sent him a message to asked if that’s HE…. My messages was “if that’s you, please stop tracking me again. If not,I’m sorry.” Then, He responded me “I don’t know.”. Then, after 20mins, he also sent me a message “I hope you are good”. ( after 3 hours,I sent ” I’m good, thank you!” Then he responded me right away ” I’m glad to know ” . After this ,I didn’t respond him anymore.I know I broke NC ….but I didn’t show any signs like ” I miss him”. Should I start over NC again? I’m pretty sure he is still missing me, I’m waiting for his message again, how Can I make him to send messages to me again? or he is thinking that I’m still angry about him, so he just gave up and waiting for my messages? please help me!!! Thank you!

S

November 3, 2016 at 11:29 pm

Thank you Amor ! Yes, I’m still doing NC and keep posting my positive pictures , showing how I’m doing well and happy everyday . But today, I realized he blocked me on The social media ( I could see his posts everyday after our fight, but from yesterday I can’t see anymore., I think he just blocked his posts, I still can sent messages to him , I haven’t tried yet though) he can still see all of my stuffs though. I’m guessing he was trying to make me to contact him , also beg him….. because before when we were fighting, I was always trying to meet him to have conversation and make up our relationship ,kind of like I was begging him every time. But this time, it was his fault, he got strong emotions,also said ” don’t contact me again!”,that was really hurts me, so , I dont want to do the same thing like before.

I have some questions…..
why he blocked me at this timing? It’s mean NC is start to working on him?

do you think he is angry about me? Because I didn’t chase him like before, also showing too many my positive pictures to him. Or he just wants to move on?
I’m pretty sure we still love and miss each other….. Do I need do more longer NC? ( even I don’t want to ,,,(ｰｰ;)
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 28, 2016 at 9:54 pm

HI S,

I don’t he thinks you’re angry because you responded when he said he hopes you’re good. And he should really be the one worried if you’re angry because he’s the one who lashed out and broke up with you. Just give him time.. give him two weeks, if he doesn’t initiate, you can initiate. BUt in the meantime, be productive..

Brazilian

October 26, 2016 at 3:23 pm

I was in a LDR for 2yrs and we just broke up yesterday. I went to study English in US and I met him, since then we were together. I’m from Brazil and when I had to go back home we decided to make it works. Then we used to see each other 3 times a year, I didn’t work so it was easier for me to go. We made plans about he comes to Brazil to visit me and meet my family 4 times, and all these 4 times something happened and he gave me an excuse, like “I can’t afford this trip now” “I need to buy a new car” etc. Two months ago, when he was supposed to come, he told me he couldn’t bc his brother had just graduated from college and they had made up plans for a trip, then he went with his brother and friends to DR. He didn’t text me even once time while he was there and when we came back, he asked me to forgive him, he loves me, I’m the most special girl he have ever met, he couldn’t lose me, etc. I know I’ve been so much comprehensive and patient, I forgot him bc I love him and o thought now we would really make an enforce to come to visit since I’m working and studying so I can’t take vacation so often as last year. Then a couple of week later, I start to pushing him to buy his ticket to come for New Years but he told me he couldn’t do it bc he was struggling. Some days ago I started to wonder if would be better we get into a “open relationship”. I told him about it and he didn’t like it but then after some time of conversation he agreed with me. After a couple days I knew I shouldn’t had proposed that so I told him we need to talk. We did talk and I told him that it wouldn’t work so we should try harder to be together or break up, but he was confused and told me he need to think about it and would give me his final decision in the next day. Next day came up, the next one and the next, he wasn’t answering my messages (I was texting him all day) neither picking up my calls. So I decide to talk about with his brother how is his best friend and maybe would help me to understand his mind. I explained his brother the whole situation and he told me he would talk with him. One hour later, I got a text message from him saying I fucked up texting his brother, he was embraced, angered, he hadn’t answered me before bc he need some time for himself and if I wanted an answer now, he thinks we shouldn’t be together anymore.
I text him saying I knew that would be the only way to get any message from him and I was truly sorry about that, and that he didn’t understand my situation, he just made up his mind and didn’t say anything to me. That I understood his point but he should have a little bit of consideration about my feelings. I thanked him about the great moments shared and maybe one day we find each other in the future and I was very sorry it had to end like that. Then we answered me we still loves me and cares and I would always have a friend in him. And he expected we still be friends. He wished me the best and always to be happy.
After he text me that, I didn’t say anything else. It’s been so hard to be apart from him, I love his mom and all his family were very receptive with me. Everything I wanted is say I love him and I want to be with him forever. But I can’t bc I know it’s not the right time for us, we are too young. I’m almost 22yrs and he’s about to be 21yrs in the next month, but at the same time I still wanna fight for our love. Btw I’m already wondering if I should call him for his bday or if I should just text him. I gonna graduate in a year and a half then I plan to move to US but what gets me more scared is thinking about he meets some other girl during this period. 🙁
What do you suggest me to do to have him back in my life?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 28, 2016 at 3:38 pm

Hi Brazilian,

give him time.. are you going to do the no contact rule?

jasmine

October 25, 2016 at 11:50 pm

I did no contact for a week so he sent me a letter that he is breaking up with me and moving on. Should I end the no contact?

jasmine

October 26, 2016 at 9:00 pm

now I broke the no contact and he was cold and just told me he wishes me luck. I regret breaking it. don’t know what to do now. I don’t think it will matter or I will get him back with another no contact. But don’t know how to stop wanting him. I need help!
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 27, 2016 at 1:04 am

that’s why you need professional help because breaking up and moving on is a process..

Jaweria

October 25, 2016 at 4:44 pm

Okay I broke the no contact rule yesterday. I lasted a week after the break up. I’m relieved I called him but he’s not sure if he wants give it a chance again because when he got back with his ex-girlfriend after breaking up with her she ended up breaking up with in the end anyways. I told him I didn’t wanna move too fast and I’m working on myself, becoming more dependent on myself, working out, and focusing on school. He said he has this imaginary thought in his head that we will get back together and everything is gonna be perfect. No more pointless fighting and we are happy. He works 2 weeks out of town and comes back to the city for 2 weeks. He told me that he second guessed himself thinking that maybe he made the wrong decision and that he had to stop himself from texting me and calling a few time. He said he was hapoy that I called he loves ne and misses me. I just don’t know what to do next. He said he wants to go to the gym together when he gets back from work. And I’m leaning on doing that but I don’t know how often to do that with him. I don’t plan on texting or calling him often. I plan on using the strategy of 1 or 2 texts the first day and increase till we get to phone calls and then go on a couple dates. I’m going to do it for 2-3 month. Please tell me what to do I’m not sure If what I’m planning on doing is right. I want him back and I really want it to work he is the love of my life and I don’t wanna ever feel like this what I did after the break up.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 26, 2016 at 1:25 pm

Hi Jaweria,

hmm.. he leaves you for the other girl, and then goes back with you after he was rejected.. Not so nice.. But I’m still happy for you because maybe he realized, that he shouldn’t have done what he has done.. The best you can do is to take it slow.. I agree with you plan, just don’t sleep with him right ahead.. At least make him work to get you back..

H

October 25, 2016 at 7:22 am

Hi,
I’ve commented here earlier and thank you so much for replying. I can’t think of a possible reason for him to breakup as you asked. You mentioned about nc. I’ve not contacted him since 20th sept post which as i mentioned he saw me twice and ignored me. I also received a weird whatsapp call from his mom’s no. Should i even use the social media step? What do you suggest?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 26, 2016 at 3:09 pm

Yes, it would be better if you do that.. If you haven’t focused in improving yourself since sept 20, you have to restart the count.. Because improving yourself is the most important aspect of the no contact rule.

Anna

October 25, 2016 at 2:39 am

Hi,

So my ex and I were doing fairly well, until he moved to California (from the Midwest, where I am) for a new job. After a while, he started telling me he was too busy for me and wanted to take a break. I reluctantly agreed, but I just couldn’t handle it. People make time for who they want to make time for, right? It seemed that the break was only benefitting him. He gets to enjoy his space without me while I all day I wonder why he can’t just text me back. (He was also deliberately ignoring me because he felt I was being very negative about our relationship.) After a few weeks of the break, I decided that I couldn’t continue the relationship this way and I wanted it all or nothing, so I broke up with him. He didn’t want us to break up and says that he still loves me, but he couldn’t maintain a relationship in the way I wanted. I know that I’m quite a clingy girlfriend and he may have been taking me for granted. Anyway, I’ve been failing miserably at the no contact rule because I just want him back, period. But I want him to realize how he’s treated me and what he’s been missing. We were together for almost 2 years but we connected so well when we lived in the same city and even when I would leave for 4 months at a time (twice) doing internships from long distance. I really don’t want to throw away what we had. Any advice?

Anna

October 27, 2016 at 2:43 pm

Yes, his new job was tiring him very much and he didn’t say how long he needed the break, it was just indefinite. What had been making me more upset, though, was that he still had weekends off for the most part and would still ignore me on his days off. He said that he’s in a new place and needs to make new friends. That’s understandable, but he was acting like me asking for a bit of his time on the weekends was me saying that I didn’t want him to have friends. He says he pretty much doesn’t have time to talk to anyone that’s not where he lives, including his family. I let him know that as his girlfriend, he still had to maintain a relationship with me. Even at times where we’ve both been extremely busy, we would still say things like “hey babe, I know we don’t get much time to talk, but I miss you and I love you.” – stuff like that which I wasn’t getting at all anymore. He has it in his head that all I want is to talk to him on the phone every single day for hours but he doesn’t believe me no matter how much I tell him. I wanted a lot of his attention before, but if he’s busy that’s fine. I just don’t understand ignoring me during the few points that he DOES have time. I told him I broke up with him because I was feeling neglected and I wasn’t going to wait for him indefinitely to be a boyfriend to me. He had also gotten defensive whenever I would ask when I could see him again. He’d always got frustrated and say he doesn’t know because of work, even when I’d ask him when he WANTS to take off work or when he might request it. I didn’t want to have a relationship based on “I don’t know.” He just feels like I want so much attention that he just can’t give but even with the things I tried to compromise on, he would still be hesitant to do. Not hearing him for a day or two had never happened before. He’d at least check in, you know? Nobody’s truly that busy that they can’t say “I’m really busy today but I’m thinking about you” or something. What also hurts is that we’ve been long distance before and I’ve been busy (I actually lived in California while he was in the Midwest for 4 months), but I still did my best to make sure he knew that he was important to me. I just want us to be the same as we used to. I can deal with him being away, although sometimes it might suck and I’ll tell him, but that’s life. I think he hates when I complain because he can’t do anything about it. But he still used to be comforting and I’m not sure where that went. There’s no one else I want to be with and I saw (still see) a future with him, but his way of handling this is something I’ll never forget. It just feels like there’s something else going on. He says there’s no way he wants anyone else, but I’ve thought that maybe he wants to say living where he is and isn’t sure how to tell me because he knows I don’t want to move there.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 28, 2016 at 11:18 pm

Oh, ok.. Yeah, he’s been neglecting you.. If you really want a higher chance of him realizing that, you have to stay strong in no contact..
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 26, 2016 at 1:59 pm

HI Anna,

was his new job tiring him? If so, how many days did he needed the break? I’m not talking anyone’s side, but maybe he just really needed time to adjust and you were not used to it.. And also, maybe you didn’t convey clearly what you wanted.. When you broke up with him ,did you tell him the reason why? If yes, what did he say? And also, when he said he couldn’t maintain the relationship in the way that you wanted, what is he pertaining to? How did you want the relationship to be?

Sisi

October 25, 2016 at 1:18 am

Hello. Me and my boyfriend were together for 7 years. We were engaged and I left our home to get some space because we were going through a rough patch. During which time we agreed to work on it and then all of a sudden he didn’t want to. He broke up with me in the end. After that we had to split everything and take out names off things and things got ugly over text. I never begged for him back but I did tell him all my feelings nice and mean. What do I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 26, 2016 at 1:18 pm

Hi Sisi,

when was that? When was the last time you talked?

Mia

October 24, 2016 at 7:23 am

Hi guys! My ex kept giving up on me in the 3 months that we’ve been together. It’s always petty disagreements and nonsense, honestly — but he so quickly withdraws and says goodbye. It is very hurtful but I do love him. The last time he said goodbye was 2 days ago. He wrapped it up by saying we both should think hard about whether we wanted the relationship or not. We ignored each other until he texted an hour ago, asking for forgiveness and saying he misses me like crazy. I am still hurt and feeling betrayed I didn’t have the strength to respond. Should I start the no-contact rule and how long for? Thanks.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 25, 2016 at 8:06 pm

Hi Mia,

yeah, you should draw the line.. you’re just three months in, so try just 14 days no contact..

Ale

October 23, 2016 at 11:57 pm

We began dating in early-July. I moved across the country for an internship in late-August. We decided on an open, long distance relationship.

Last week, mid-October, she became distant. Three days later, her sibling died unexpectedly. Later that week, she sent a text saying she didn’t think we should be together.

We were scheduled to meet next weekend as she has a work trip best where I am living. This was to be our only meeting while I’m away. Hotel and flight has been booked for both of us (different rooms, as she is going with coworkers).

Should I stick to no contact or try to see her over the weekend? I also feel guilty being focused on the relationship given her loss. Any advice would be appreciated, even though I’m the boyfriend!

Ale

October 25, 2016 at 5:51 pm

Thanks for the response Amor.

I posted a more detailed post on the girlfriend recovery site (found it today). She said that she did not want to meet me over the weekend, that she decided this earlier and was unrelated to the death. She also said that she didn’t like me anymore and was tired of sugar-coating everything. Those were the only texts she sent. We are quite open and honest with each other so I feel she might just be angry.

As firm as those texts are, maybe I should give space but not nc. Even if we don’t get back together, I know she’s hurting a ton. NC could add to her pain. Definitely space and time to grieve too though. Life can be rough.

Thanks for the comment!
Ale

October 24, 2016 at 7:17 pm

Done some thinking and I was clingy last week. She was irritated about that. When her family member died, I sent her 2 or 3 messages a day without equal response.

When she sent the break up text, it was after receiving 3 pics I sent her. I should’ve backed off and given her space. Bummer I just realized it now.

Denitely no contact in , I think.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 25, 2016 at 4:27 pm

Hi Ale,

Did she mention anything about your meet after the break up? I think you need to let her grieve and cool down for now.. I’m not sure if you should do nc right away because what if she just wanted you to put yourself aside, and your demands aside and just guve space and an ear if she needs to?

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