Everyone wants their ex to regret taking them for granted.
Regardless of whether you’re trying to get your ex back or trying to get over them, it can be pretty cathartic to hear them say “darn, I made a mistake and feel like a fool now!”
So how do you make that happen?
Well, today I’m going to take you through the psychology of regret and share tried-and-tested real-life things that you can do to make your ex regret leaving you.
Probably the best place to start is by looking at how regret works different for men and women.
You need to understand the differences and react according to your and your ex’s gender.
Understanding How Genders Differ With Regret
According to Psychology Today, studies on gender differences in regret show the increased value that women put on relationships and how women may have more difficulty disengaging attention from past relationships.
Overall, 44 percent of women surveyed in one study had romantic regrets, versus just 19 percent of men.
This is actually perfectly in line with our traffic patterns and program sales.
We definitely see more women come through our businesses than we do men.
I always chalked that up to the fact that men don’t like to talk or think about breakups, but in reality, it has more to do with the timing/psychology of regret in women and their dominant attachment style.
Women generally have anxious attachment styles so they experience immediate regret after a breakup and that’s when they look up things like “how to make my ex miss me” or “how to make your ex regret taking you for granted.”
Men, on the other hand, tend to let their feelings simmer and they usually distract themselves to avoid thinking about the breakup.
Understanding the Basis for Regret
I’ve talked about regret a LOT on my website, YouTube channel, and podcasts but it all really boils down to one core concept:
The easier it is to envision a different outcome, the more likely we are to regret the lost opportunity.
Your ex will only regret losing you if they can romanticize about a potentially different outcome. They need to imagine what could have been so they kick themselves for letting go of you. That fuels their regret and ultimately makes them want to come back to you.
Now I know what you’re wondering…
How Exactly Do I Make My Ex Envision A Different Outcome So They Regret Taking Me for Granted?
First things first, I don’t have a magic bullet phrase or action for you that will instantly make your ex regret their choices.
That said, we have done extensive research about regret and found that it’s less about a specific action or set of words, and more about inspiring thoughts of a different outcome with a combination of actions and mindset changes.
Five Things to Make Your Ex Regret Breaking Up with You
Here are the five things our team boiled down to maximize your chances of making an ex regret breaking up with you:
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quiz- Identify the Type of Regret Your Ex Is Likely To Have
- Time Absolutely Must Pass
- Romanticizing The Past
- Feeling Regret Is All About Highlighting The Consequences
- Embody The Secure Attachment Style
Allow me to expand.
Thing #1: Identify the Type of Regret Your Ex Is Most Likely to Have.
According to James Tobin, Ph.D., there are really two types of regret,
Action Vs. Inaction
- Action-based regret: Regret for what one did not do, including missing/not taking advantage of opportunities when they arose
- Inaction-based regret: Regret for what one did, including mistakes, poor choices, missteps, etc.
Let’s see examples of how this applies to breakups:
Inaction-based regret in a breakup: An ex regrets the decision to break up AFTER they’ve already broken up and realized the grass is not greener on the other side. This typically happens when you’ve moved on or are improving your life and your ex regrets missing out on those opportunities with you and regrets not treating you like they should have.
They envision the missed chances to work on your past relationship and everything they could have done to make it work.
Action-based regret in a breakup: This is most typical in breakups where an ex cheated on you. The ex probably regrets cheating and how they ruined the relationship. This kind of regret is often coupled with a lot of self-loathing.
Another common example of regret we see is when men break up with their pregnant partners.
This involves both action and inaction regret.
The first part is action regret because they realize they should not have broken up with their partner when she was pregnant because it’s way worse physically and emotionally. The second part is inaction-based because the breakup probably created a lot of friction so now the ex doesn’t get to be a part of their child’s life. They miss out on their child’s accomplishments and growth.
You need to understand what type of category you’re more likely to be in because that’s the type of regret that you’re going to have to put most of your effort behind.
Thing #2: Time Must Absolutely Pass
Regret is ultimately about missed opportunities and a little bit of self-loathing or feeling bad for yourself. The interesting thing about a missed opportunity is that it’s in the PAST. People conveniently gloss over this one crucial fact when talking about regrets and missed opportunities:
That fact is time has to pass for us to feel we’ve had a missed opportunity.
This is very difficult for a lot of our clients to accept because they’re usually very anxious and want to fix things right away. Those anxious tendencies don’t mix well with our first recommendation to everyone after a breakup – enacting a no-contact rule.
The no contact rule is an amazing tool that allows you to give your time ex to realize missed opportunities while you actively work on outgrowing them.
Time needs to pass because your ex probably won’t wake up the night after a breakup with strong regrets. That’s why you should do a no-contact rule as soon as possible.
Thing #3: Your Ex Must Romanticize the Past
So one of my favorite topics of discussion recently has been about avoidant exes and their thought process. Most of my clients have avoidant exes so it makes sense to delve deeper into how avoidants think and experience regret.
If you have an avoidant ex their mind works differently than yours. For example, a lot of times avoidant exes have to feel like you have gotten over them completely until they feel comfortable romanticizing the past.
This works perfectly with the concept of letting time pass too. If you don’t allow your ex to have any time they’re not going to romanticize the past because they’re hung up on how overbearing and insecure you’re being right now.
So instead pulling back is one of the smartest things that you can do because that allows them to feel safe to miss you.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizThing #4: Feeling Regret Is All About Highlighting the Consequences
Making an ex regret via consequences really boils down to opportunity cost.
When your ex broke up with you they made a calculated decision that they can do better than you. When they go out there to play the field and see if they can truly do better the only way they’ll regret their decision is if they look back at you and see they’re seriously missing out.
This is why we believe social media is one of the best ways to highlight this opportunity cost. You’re making them realize that your social stock went way up while theirs stayed the same or went down.
Sounds simple enough but here’s where most people get stuck – they can’t be instantly sure if it’s working.
There’s a lot of guesswork and taking it on faith with social media because your ex won’t immediately react to your posts or declare how much they regret their decision. This will probably make you double down on your insecurities of thinking your ex wouldn’t want you back if they broke up with you. That’s not really how it goes though.
Most exes need sustained exposure to your awesome new life on social media to start seeing the consequences of their choices.
All you need to do is live your best life and make it a pattern to post on social media. You don’t need to rub it in your ex’s face or overdo it. Just go with the natural flow of things and remember:
You need to SHOW your ex what they’re missing, don’t just tell them.
Thing #5: Embody the Secure Attachment Style
Attachment styles basically relate to how we interact in relationships, especially on a romantic level. There are four different kinds of attachment styles, with the secure attachment being the healthiest one.
The four types of attachment styles include:
- Anxious attachment style- People who go through a breakup and immediately want to fix things. Usually described as clingy, desperate, eager.
- Avoidant attachment style- People who want to be independent and run away from problems and emotions. Usually described as dismissive, aloof, uncommunicative.
- Fearful attachment style- Fearful attachment is a combination of both anxious and avoidant attachment styles, basically the worst of both worlds. Usually described as unpredictable, confusing, exhausting.
- Secure attachment style- The holy grail attachment style that everyone should strive towards. Usually described as confident, self-reliant, assured.
People with a secure attachment style are no-drama and they don’t attach their self-worth to others. This allows them to grow as individuals within their relationships without being overbearing or too aloof. These qualities make everyone automatically gravitate towards secure attachment styles. After all, who wouldn’t want a partner that loves you but still lets you do your own thing?
Your ex will only regret their decision to break up with you if they see you’ve changed your anxious or avoidant tendencies into strong, secure ones. The more secure you seem the more your ex will want to be with you and regret ever leaving you.
The ultimate test to see if you have a secure attachment style yet is asking yourself if you’re truly okay with not getting your ex back. If your answer is along the lines “sure, I loved them and did my best to get them back, but I’ll be okay without them”, then you’ve achieved the most desired secure attachment style!
Conclusion:
Regret is all about making your ex envision a different outcome so they feel like there’s a lost opportunity. These are 5 basic things you need to do to make your ex regret leaving you:
- Identify the type of regret your ex is most likely to have
- Time must pass
- Your ex must romanticize the past
- Highlight the consequences
- Embody the secure attachment style
Dee
April 6, 2021 at 6:30 am
I have been doing no contact, I dumped him a few weeks back, 1 week already of doing no contact. He took me for granted though we really had a happy relationship, its just I’m losing my mind thinking when he’ll respond, I know he’s not that busy it’s just that he’s not putting on a lot in our relationship. My lost of interest started when he didn’t give me gift on our exchange gift, I was waiting for him and kept leading me on, until I finally dumped though he was nice and we were really growing together he helped emotionally as well when I needed him and so was I with him, I even helped him get a job and helped him got that promotion to boost his confidence further. But it seems i am feeling he is not reciprocating my feelings, I don’t know, I think I am being needy but I also think I deserve better treatment than what he did, because of lying to me, though he mentioned that he was having financial difficulties, which I told him that simple gift would suffice, because its the thought that matters. I still love him still, but I am doing no contact since I have been hurt as well.
E
January 9, 2021 at 6:28 am
Is no contact effective if throughout the relationship he is the “master” of no contact and has been the one doing no contact on you whenever y’all argue when y’all were together and now that he has broken up – he also does the same to you?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 11, 2021 at 7:02 pm
Hi E, when in a relationship (not broken up) no contact is actually causing more damage to your relationship than helping. It is called stonewalling.
However, if you were the one to reach out and try to reconcile after an argument then yes you following the rules of no contact is going to work.
Lynn
December 23, 2020 at 4:42 am
My ex always text asking what I’m doing but didn’t talk to me in person. He was always wanting attention from other girls. I told him that I wanted us to be closer a few times, but he never changed. Together a year, we’re hanging together in the start, then covid prevented us seeing each other. When we did finally see each other, he continued texting daily but didn’t try to talk to me. Finally, my friend shows me that he has been texting and calling her, I explain to him that it is not right that i feel invisible and I have given him so many chances and why doesn’t he talk to me, not even saying hi. His response was he is to nervous to talk to me and that he doesn’t want us to break up to give him another chance he will do anything, that he loves me and will love me forever and that he won’t hurt me. The next day I responded by asking if he was ok and he said yes so long as we are friends. Then the following day he tells everyone that he is single and flirting with all the girls, he sends me a message saying that he isn’t trying to hurt me and that he ‘likes me as a friend’. My friend sent him a message requesting that he stop contacting her. Then he contacts telling me he needs to as me something, I said sure. Then he sends another message saying are you there? I went no contact after this message as I felt the question was about why my friend sent that message and it had nothing to do with me. Two weeks later he has moved on with another girl, who been nasty to me and who liked my ex and is all over her and he was giving me mean stares. She is the opposite of me loud, physically bigger and unfit and is not a nice person. 26 days into no contact and I have heard nothing. Its holiday season now and I haven’t seen my ex for a week. I have been extremely loyal to him, proven time and time again when other boys have approached me and not flirted and said I had a boyfriend and even lost a friend who told lie about my ex and I stuck up for him. I am focussing on my sport and friends and trying be my best again.
Valerie
October 31, 2020 at 1:48 pm
actually, he’s just kinda my ex bf because we never got “official”. I would do things for him especially when he asks for favors since we’re co-workers. I would receive a thank you but that’s when I pointed out that he is not saying thank you. then I believe he is flirting with this woman ever since. (this woman posts almost nude or sexy pictures and he would react to most of her posts than other girls but I believe they don’t meet in person these days and months)
and then due to the feeling of being used and being taken for granted, I decided (after many months) that I’m leaving and I kinda told him thru text that if he wants to make amends, he can talk to me but he never did come up to me and talk, and he just acted like he didn’t read that long message I got with him. I was so stressed back then when I sent him that and I also told him that.
I’m also not good at opening up in person at that time I sent him the text; we were also apart.
he acted as if he didn’t read it but he started to give me attention again of which I didn’t believe will last so I kept on ignoring him as much as possible even though we’re co-workers. I saw that he still reacts to that woman’s posts after I’ve sent him that text (which contains me telling him that he is flirting with that woman so basically telling him I don’t like it) rather than on mine so it really pushed me to really ignore him, implementing the no contact rule.
then after that text, he was giving me more attention than he used to but it’s that I could still see that he likes the other woman more than me so I didn’t believe his subsequent actions towards me, so, after one month after that text and his subsequent “sweet” acts, he unfriended me on Facebook.
the woman has also stopped posting (in FB) since the day I sent the text and she also made her account private in IG afterward, which both confirms on my part (I believe) that he is just stringing me around to use as a puppet at work.
so, yeah, he unfriended me on FB and that’s that. of course I got sad when I learned about that but I think it’s a good thing because I didn’t have to do it myself. I just want to know now if my hunches were right or wrong. what do you think?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 31, 2020 at 4:18 pm
Hi Valerie, I would agree that there is something between your “ex” and this woman because of how she changed her account settings once you told him. I wouldn’t say they were involved in anyway, just online flirting it seems. I hope you find the strength to move passed what he has done and work on yourself to show him what he has lost.
Chadie
September 30, 2020 at 11:15 pm
Hi EBR… My boyfriend who I’m so in love with recently told me that I deserve better and he doesn’t think that he’s the best man for me.
Not to mention, early this year he mentioned that he would love for me to meet his parents, he was the one saying that no matter what, we’ll make this relationship work. He made me feel wanted, beautiful and appreciated. We talked a lot about the future and all positive things. I don’t understand why all of a sudden he wants to give up on us. He did mention that one day he will regret his decision.
I don’t understand, I’m hurt.
Ana
September 26, 2020 at 2:22 pm
My boyfriend and I were together for 3.5 years. He is american and I am from Spain. We started with some lies from his part as he had a girlfriend at a time, well, according to him they were broken up, but they were back and forth. The more he met me the more he liked our time together and our connection. Deep inside I knew I had to stop it, I had to value myself and leave, but I couldn’t, I was getting attached. 5 month later I told him I was going to Spain for the summer and once back I didn’t want to have anything to do with him. I left, we kept texting and he told me he bought a flight to come see me. After a while he told me he came because I gave him an ultimatum which I really didn’t. I just wanted to take care of myself. I went back to the US, dated, I had my apartment, he had his, and when his lease was up, a year and a half later he moved in with me. We play tennis together, we play lots of tournaments, we like restaurants, we do a lot together, but maybe it is true that chemistry wasn’t too strong because he is stressed, depressed at times. My visa was expiring last June and he did nothing for me to say, I guess it wasn’t easy as the easiest solution would have been to marry. As he did nothing we knew it was gonna be over. To my surprise I got a visa extension and could stay one more year, but I thought, if he didn’t fight for me whats the point of staying if he doesn’t value me enough to fight for the relationship.
So, I left. I regret it to this day. I’ve been missing him like crazy, he texted me for a while, he told me he missed me, we were best friends, I need space and time. My job is good but the rest, need to figure things out. I was the one texting less and less, to put distance. Its been hard, cause I want him back.
I want him back in my life, but I don’t have a visa to go back, no idea if I will ever get him back.
Solutions? What should I do? I am dying for him to come see me or meet halfway or marry him one day. The relationship had his ups and down but we had fun together.
I just cant get over him and regret leaving, because the last months were so good
L
September 15, 2020 at 2:32 pm
My ex and I broke up almost a month ago and at first I wasn’t aware of the no contact rule, so I begged and pleaded with him, when I told him I was moving my stuff out of the house he asked for me to come stay with him and he was very apologetic (I had been staying elsewhere for about a week), so I did but we were still “broken up”. We were hot and cold until about a week ago and I found out he had been talking to other women so I moved all of my stuff out and have started no contact. We have both said some hurtful things to each other. I was the girlfriend that went out of her way to make him happy, we had a lot of intimacy in the relationship that wasn’t sex, but towards the end we weren’t seeing eye to eye and he wasn’t acting like himself. I have reconnected with my friends since the break up and especially so since starting no contact. I am not going to keep my hopes too high that we will get back together so I am going to really start focusing on myself again but I am still hoping that we can reconnect.
Amelia
September 11, 2020 at 2:04 am
My now ex went on a vacation with his mom, his kids, his ex girlfriend, her husband and kid .. they do not share kids. Apparently the ex is super attached to his mom. We were dating for 15 months. I was close to his kids. I was not invited and made a big ugly scene about it. He insists it’s nothing but it hurt like heck. I’m now blocked. I wish he’d fix it but WHY did this trip happen in the first place?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 11, 2020 at 9:14 pm
Hi Amelia, so it sounds as if he and his ex are just friends, especially if her husband is there. It is rare, but sometimes people can remain friends after a break up, especially if his mother and the ex have stayed friends.
Raticia Dina
September 2, 2020 at 8:16 am
He never appreciated my love because he was still stuck to his, I left him but I still love him, I wish to take him back, but I want him to respect me and appreciate me
Shakthi
September 2, 2020 at 1:24 am
Hey EBR,myself shakthi,i am in a love with a guy for 3 years since by end of11th grade now am entering 2nd year college ,mine is a long distance relationship, i knew him in instagram,we used to have casuall fights but past few days he says he dosent want this relationship because his parents will not be okay for a love marriage,but I’ve been loving him so much, i donot wanna loose him i take all sincere efforts and show him all the time how much i love him at end am only taken for grantedit hurts but seriously i cant replace him with anyone eitherI feel he should know my value,how to make him realise?he tells he doesn’t love me but he also says i cant leave you i will be talking to yoy always,am confused too what can I do?please help me out
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 2, 2020 at 5:16 pm
Hey Shakthi, so you need to go into a no contact as you are broken up and work on your holy trinity and work to being Ungettable during this time. Show him you are not going to sit and wait for him or talk to him when he feels like it! As for the marriage and future, if his culture and parents are what decides who he marries then you need to accept that he will not go against their deicsion, regardless of what you do. Or you work out what it is they deem acceptable for a daughter in law and show them you can be that person. But that would only be if he was willing to introduce you to them, which at the moment sounds as if that is not that case.
Mia
August 25, 2020 at 9:58 pm
So I was his girlfriend for 6 months. Throughout the 6 months, we quarrelled about the same thing again and again — him not spending enough time with me. Our routine was to meet once a week. Alternating between me going to his province to have lunch with him for just a few hours and him coming to my house at night, Just to cuddlee, coax me to have sex, and then go home once that is done. He never wanted to sleep over. And that is also Another thing we fought about. Also he never made the effort to call To check in on me either. He does text me a lot tho. One time, he even lied to me about going out to help his female colleague with an assignment. I asked why couldn’t he see me on that day, he said he was busy and rushing around doing errands. I then found out after checking her insta story that he was out with her. I confronted him about that and he assured me that there is nothing romantic going on with that girl. However, I was still cross with him and we did not talk for two days. After that 2 days, he called me up (something he never did before) just to ask me whether I had confronted his female colleague, which I did not do. This made me so upset as the only reason he started talking to me again was to ask about another girl. I then asked for a break up but regretted him and tried to get him back after 2 days. He didn’t want to get back tgt because he said he is tired of arguing and quarrelling with me. And I agree it’s the same argument 24/7 – him not making the time for me. He said he has tried to improve but it never works out the way he wants it to and he is just tired of it. I am devastated and I wonder is there a chance that he will ever regret mistreating me…. if there is a chance that he will come back and treat me right. Throughout the relationship I often begged him to treat me better… and I admit, he was trying, but I guess I wasn’t patient enough and I kept complaining
Sonia
August 19, 2020 at 9:06 am
Hey,
I was always last on his priority list. He was the one who was navigating the relationship. I expressed me concern many times but he never did anything about it. He kept repeating the same things which hurt me and when I used to complaint then his reply used to be “ I don’t do anything intentionally . Why do u even pay attention to such small things In a relationship” . Finally, I broke up and took the last chance with him In order to see if the breakup will bring any change in him. He kept coming back but I refused to accept him but I have been accepting him again and again after the same mistakes .
Kristine
August 4, 2020 at 3:49 am
My bf broke up with me after a year then wanted to be friends I tried for a year up and down of not committing when we were great with eachother then finally couldn’t be a friend anymore and said like many times before but finally ment it this time that I don’t want this anymore and I’ll cherish the good times and my heart and feelings for you are just to much and you won’t hear from me anymore just letting you no without disappearing without an explanation take care I got a response of we did have good times ;( I get it ❤️You too. That made me feel like crap after a year two being his friend when I didn’t even want to try on only tried to hope to take me back
Ali
July 30, 2020 at 9:05 am
Can i have some help please, me and my ex broke up because of I big argument that altered our relationship, after trying to make it work I thought it would be best to leave the family home, after leaving I still tried to make it work but he wasnt interested, he started partying, talking to girls.. I went into no contact and after 20 days he called crying and said how much he missed me, we spoke for hours and the following morning he asked me to meet, which I eagerly agreed to, I ended up staying the night, I left and felt out relationship was getting back on track but he became distant, for about 2 weeks he was on and off with me, one day he was so lovely and the next very blunt, I figured he was still pursuing other options and I was possibly just a back up in case they didn’t work out, so I don’t him this and told him I wouldn’t be hanging around while that was happening, he didn’t fight for me, and neither did he disagree when I said I thought he was pursing other women, so that told me he was, we ended very amicably because I sent him and forgiveness text and he replied saying he never deserved me, and that I was an amazing girlfriend, after he sent me that text I went straight into no contact AGAIN, it’s been 2 days and I was wondering will no contact work even though I was the one that walked away, will it work a second time, will he realise he took me for granted at all? He didn’t fight for me to stay at all, he’s begged me not to block him, but I can’t understand why, I didn’t mention before but when I first went into no contact i changed my life massively, I lost 1 and a half stone in 3 weeks, went travelling and met new people, I felt I was getting somewhere, I would like him back of course but not if he’s going to take me for granted again
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
August 2, 2020 at 9:36 am
Hey Ali it sounds as if you were on the right track during your first no contact so repeat those patterns, but when you got back with him it all stopped – meaning that he fell back into the old patterns and routines. It happens often but it is important that you do not let that happen to your life again. You work on the UG and stay on that even if you are with him or not. Yes no contact can work a second time, even though you walked away. It is about the impression you leave when you use social media to show him what he has lost
Maxwell Yirenkyi Amoyaw
July 19, 2020 at 3:01 pm
I had this gal i loved the most, abt a year ago she told me she does me in her life again,i didn’t take her words for serious, now she left n i still loved her i need her badly in my life, i tried talking to her n she told me she dating a new guy nw that i pushed her into that relationship,.
I have tried whatever i could just for her to understand ma feelings for her to come back to me but it seems she have found love in this new guy, she will tell me to give her time if i call n tried talk to her that i still love her,.what should I do because i love her so much ..please help me bring back my love pls..i this gal n am ready to do anything for her love to be mine pls help….thank you
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
July 19, 2020 at 5:33 pm
Hey Maxwell, if you want to follow this program and she has a new relationship then it starts with a 45 day No Contact where you work on yourself. So that when you reach out you are the better man and better option. Showing her how you are ready to give her a relationship that she wanted. But this does take time. Read about the being there method before reaching out at the end of 45 days
Jacqueline
July 2, 2020 at 12:36 am
I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months because of trust issues. For starters, he took a screenshot of a chick he dated once and she had on a bikini with big boobs. I accidentally saw the pic in his phone and he kept stammering it’s no big deal. He also told me she is nice to look at and I was pissed at him for saying that to me. He realized that was stupid of him to do that and deleted the pic. Second, he was liking other single chick’s pics and sending friend request to them. Third, he hid his Facebook friend’s list from me so I would not hound him anymore about his shenanigans. Even after we agreed we would not do this crap, he still justified his reasons of no harm done and there was no intent to his actions. I told him I was hurt by his betrayal and he never showed remorse. Also I wanted him to unfriend the chick he dated once but he just ignored me. I finally came to the realization I cannot trust him anymore and dumped his ass. But I do miss him because we had fun and he was good to me…other than the things I shared. I am not sure how to handle this and it’s only been 2 days. When I got my things from his place, he was being cold towards me. I said a few things to him and mentioned you do understand why I am breaking up with you? He replied because of the hidden friends list and I said that’s part of it but that chick April… and he cut me off and said bye and walked away from me. I said good luck in your next relationship and walked out. I don’t know why I even care because he caused this problem not me. I was very good to him and sacrificed my time to help him with his home doing projects. Help me see I did the right thing!
benny
June 26, 2020 at 9:18 pm
my ex boyfriend and I broke upCos on val day we spoke abt the girl and he told me she will be getting married soon I didn’t say anything dat day but cos I was angry dat Sunday wen I called Baron to ask if he has heard from him but he said no so I was angry and I said no guy wit his normal sense would be dating or going out wit sumone who will be getting married soon so he should stop lying to me I said stuff I can’t remember dem now cos i said demout of anger everything i said was on whatsapp but I apologized I told him I sent some annoying messages and I was sorry he should not listen to dem cos it was already late and I could not delete dem again and he agreed just for him to go online read it and sent me a message dat he doesn’t love me anymore i was in school wen I saw the message I came back home I called him even tho he said I shouldn’t come to his house but I still went I apologized i cried I knelt down and was begging me even wit everything he was telling me comparing me to the two girls I was still begging him but he refused he just said I deserve better and he is tired of hurting me even tho he doesn’t want to lose me but I still love him so much and is 5 month already he has moved on I don’t knw wat to do
carick benny
June 26, 2020 at 9:11 pm
I and my ex broke up 5 months ago after we had an issue he was cheating on me on Valentinsday we talked abt it and he apologized but the next day he went out with the same girl I tried calling him but he was rejecting my calls I got angry and told him I wanted us to break up even tho I didn’t mean and I told him he was confused and didn’t knw wat he wanted so he got angry and said he was going to break up wit me even tho I apologized for saying wat I said he told me I deserved better and he doesn’t want to hurtme even tho he still doesn’t want to lose me but I love him so much and I still do and miss him too I don’t want to do
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 27, 2020 at 8:23 pm
Hey Carick, I would suggest that you start working on your Holy Trinity and work on your self esteem understand that you do not deserve to be treated this way. When you work on your Holy Trinity and Ungettable mindset you will realise that the cheating is unacceptable and the fact that he did it again after you forgave him shows that he has little respect for you
Siphokazi
June 14, 2020 at 3:51 pm
My ex took me for granted in a way that he will leave me for other girls and come back saying sorry and i take him back this time he took off with another girl and i begged him to take him back he told me he that he’s with this girl will i be able to stand the fact that he will be with me and this girl i said yes coz i really love him and i never followed up with that and told him that i am able to live without him he said ohk then after a month or two i told him that i want to cut contact with him he got angry coz we have a child together and didnt want me to cut contact with him so i said ohk but he ended up saying that he will support me through my healing then i got off all social networks without telling him i still want him back coz i love him so much
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 14, 2020 at 9:21 pm
Hey Sphokazi, so the reason he keeps taking you for granted and leaving you for other women is because he knows you love him and would take him back straight away. You need to work on your Holy Trinity and being Ungettable, maybe even consider dating when you are feeling better and up to it. Not that you have to get into another relationship but make him realise that if he doesn’t change fast then he is going to lose you.
Diamond
May 29, 2020 at 11:04 am
I caught him cheating once and I forgave him Jan
Now I caught him flirting with a Friend and he pecked his ex
I confronted him jokingly and he called and I didn’t pick his calls… He texted I didn’t reply him. I sent him message to send his account number so I can send his money back.. I expected him to beg me. He sent his account details and he told me to remove the money he owe me and send all his money back
I asked him if he was throwing the relationship away… I had to beg him..
I told him we could work things out
He told me I love him so much than he loves me.. He doesn’t know how to show me he loves me… He can’t keep pretending every thing is fine… He truly wants the relationship , he doesn’t want to throw it away ,he wants me in his life… But I can’t keep forgiving him everytime, I show him more than he deserves that he is already under appreciating me… I deserve some better … He can’t be good to everyone and continue to be a dickhead to me… I told him cheating is everywhere… I was making excuse for him… I don’t want to loose this relationship please.