Have you ever seen a man beg for his girlfriend back, before?
Ok… perhaps I didn’t word that question correctly.
How about this,
Have you ever seen a man who has broken up with his girlfriend completely change his mind and beg for her to take him back?
I have, and let me tell you that it’s a glorious sight to behold!
Now, I am a pretty ambitious guy so I am going to make a statement that might floor you.
Are you ready?
(That’s a picture of me by the way 🙂 .)
Yep, I am going to be the man that teaches you how to make that ex boyfriend of yours get on his knees and beg to get back together with you.
But first, you are probably wondering why I used that picture of myself.
I mean, why in the world would I use a picture where I’m not even smiling. Well, this is actually a picture of me trying my very best to hold back tears on my wedding day (I didn’t cry… ) In other words, this is a picture of me at my most vulnerable.
I figure if you see me in a super emotional moment I can prove to you that I know exactly how you feel.
You feel vulnerable…
Angry…
Depressed…
And like you are drowning in quicksand.
But I am going to get you out of that quicksand.
I am going to help and empower you.
So, who the hell am I?
Well, my name is Chris Seiter, founder of Ex Boyfriend Recovery and a professional relationship consultant specializing in breakups.
(You didn’t know I was that cool, huh?)
But you probably don’t give a crap about any of that, do you?
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizNo, what you truly care about is how I can help you. Well, I suppose the best way to prove that to you is to show you some of the results I have gotten for people here, here and here.
But of course, you came here to learn how to make your ex boyfriend beg for you to come back to him.
I’m not going to lie, that’s a pretty ambitious goal and in order to achieve it we first need to understand the state of mind that you have to put your ex in to get him to beg for you back.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizThe State of Mind You Need Your Ex To Be In To Start Begging
The other day my wife, daughter and I were at a restaurant when my wife and I got an ingenious idea.
Let’s order Lilly an Ice Cream
For your reference,
Lilly = Our daughter
Now, you may be sitting there wondering,
“What’s the big deal? It’s just ice cream?”
Well, why it’s significant is because my daughter had never had ice cream in her life before.
And upon tasting it for the first time she had a look on her face like she was Christopher Columbus discovering the Americas for the first time.
And then it happened.
She started begging for more…
Now, you may be wondering why I told you this story when it has nothing to do with your ex but I am going to ask you to look a little closer.
The key to making your ex boyfriend beg for you back is wrapped up in that entire story.
Where?
Well, my daughter didn’t do any begging until she had deemed the ice cream worth begging over.
And therein lies the most basic problem that most women coming to this website fail to grasp. Currently, in your exes mind you aren’t worth begging over.
I know that may be a hard pill to swallow and some of you may fight with me on that fact but let me ask you.
Do you ever beg for something that you don’t want?
No.
The only time you ever beg for something is when you determine that it has immense value to you.
In my daughters case she tasted ice cream for the first time and immediately determined that it was a valuable taste and she wanted more of it.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizIn other words, make her beg for that ice cream was simply a state of mind.
She was so convinced that Ice Cream tasted good that she was going to do everything in her power to get more of it.
In your case, you need to convince your ex that you have an immense value to him. It’s only when you do that, that he will start to beg.
The only question, is how?
How the hell are you supposed to convince your ex that you are valuable?
Great question!
Convincing Your Ex That You Are Valuable
Ever since I have started my Private Facebook Group I have been able to communicate with women going through breakups on a more personal level (sometimes talking to them through Skype) and the lessons I have learned have been nothing short of revolutionary.
You see, the really great thing about it is I am able to separate the things the successful women are doing from the unsuccessful women.
Want to know what I learned?
Well, the successful women are able to get their ex to place them back up on a pedestal. In other words, they become valuable again in their exes eyes.
That’s easy enough to understand.
However, we can also learn a lot from the women who fail specifically the actions they are taking.
About a month ago I talked to a woman over Skype (who was a part of the Private Facebook Group) about her situation and even I’ll admit that she was in a very difficult one.
Her ex was dating someone else and she may have freaked out about it post breakup and followed her ex all the way to an airport (where he was meeting his new girlfriend) and confronted the two of them.
Now, think about this for a minute.
By doing that one act she put herself in the “crazy ex girlfriend” territory. Her exes perception of her is always going to lead back to the moment that she acted a bit crazy.
In other words, he is not going to look at her as very valuable. Instead, he is going to look at her like this crazy chick that followed him around that one time.
It’s a tough place to be, no doubt but it’s something you can absolutely learn from.
Your Behavior Matters Post Breakup When It Comes To Getting Him To Beg
Our goal with this article is to make your ex boyfriend beg for you back is it not?
Here is the sad truth you are going to have to accept.
It’s a very ambitious goal that not everyone is going to be able to achieve.
It’s a hard pill to swallow, huh?
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizNow, does that mean that it’s impossible to get your ex back if he doesn’t beg for you back.
No, it just means you aren’t going to see him begging for you back if that makes any sense.
Take the story of the girl who confronted her ex and his new girlfriend at an airport. Her behavior after the breakup absolutely angered and freaked her ex out.
Instead of thinking,
“I wonder what (name) is up to?”
He’s probably thinking,
“God, (name) is so freaking crazy?”
Do you see where I am going with this?
It’s a lot easier to pivot into making your ex beg for you back if he doesn’t put you in the “crazy ex girlfriend” category.
In other words, if you acted batshit crazy after your breakup then the chances are going to be pretty high that you aren’t in a position to make him beg for you back.
Now, does that mean the world has ended?
Yes!
……..
….
..
Of course it doesn’t mean the world has ended.
All it means is that you probably shouldn’t get unrealistic expectations about having your ex beg for you back.
You could still have a really good shot of getting him back but having him beg for you back is probably not in the cards.
Ok, now that I have that out of the way let’s talk about the lucky people who behaved somewhat normally after their breakup and what they can do to improve the odds that their ex will beg for them back.
The Four Ways To Convince Your Ex You Are Worth Begging For
There has been something that has been on my mind a lot lately and I’m not sure I should tell you…
It’s not that I want to be secretive or anything but I think it could make me a lot of money….
Ah screw it, who needs money anyways (me) I am just going to tell you!
I had mentioned a bit earlier in this article that I have been working personally with a lot of women on our Private Facebook Group and quite a few of them have actually gotten their exes back.
And I find it fascinating to ask them after they got their ex back what made the biggest difference when it came to convincing him to come back.
Four things constantly get mentioned by the success stories and the more and more I picked at them I realized that these four things are essential to regaining some leverage after the breakup and putting yourself in that “value” position that you desperately need to be in to have any chance of making him beg.
The four things are,
- The Uncaring Vibe
- Competition
- Ungettableness
- Dictating The Pace
So, here’s the deal.
Based on my own independent research and experience you need to hit on these four things if you want to make your ex beg.
From the top,
The Uncaring Vibe
Ok, I am probably about to lose any type of credibility by making this reference but what the hell.
When I was a kid there was one TV show that I loved above anything else, Dragon Ball Z.
And there was one character I adored more than anything (and it wasn’t the protagonist.)
Nope, it was this guy named Vegeta. Basically, Vegeta was obsessed with being the most powerful fighter in the universe and always put himself through this rigorous training to do so. However, he always fell short.
At point throughout the series there was a transformation that he wanted to achieve more than anything. The all powerful “Super Saiyan,”
However, no matter how hard good old Vegeta tried he just couldn’t reach it.
In fact, he got so frustrated at one point that he completely gave up his quest screaming,
And it was at this point that he finally achieved his goal.
When he stopped caring.
Now, you may be sitting there wondering,
Why did you tell us that ridiculous story?
Well, I have seen a similar phenomenon happening with women who desperately want their exes back. You see, a certain segment want their exes back so much that at times I wonder if they would cut off their pinkies to achieve the goal.
And to make matters worse when their ex shows no interest in them they only want them even more.
Unfortunately, they see no results and it’s only when that have that inevitable Vegeta moment where they find themselves screaming,
I DON’T CARE ANYMORE
That they finally start to see some progress.
Their ex magically starts to come back into the picture.
It’s a weird phenomenon but I have seen this happen time and time again.
I haven’t been able to prove it yet but my theory is that when you give up in this manner you have absolutely nothing to lose and you give off a more attractive vibe to those around you.
It’s a transformation and it’s something that you absolutely need to have if you want him to beg for you back.
I mean, think about it for a minute.
If you truly feel like you have nothing to lose you aren’t going to give a crap on if he responds to your texts. You aren’t going to care and that gives you power.
You won’t be tentative in your actions.
You’ll be powerful!
I’m just Saiyan 😉 .
Competition
I am a big believer that if I am going to recommend a strategy to you that I should have proof to back it up and that’s where this next thing comes into play.
I have been noticing a very fascinating trend on the Private Facebook Group a lot of women seem to be having a ton of success with introducing some competition.
Now, what do you think I mean by competition?
Competition = Your Ex Seeing You With Another Man
But I suppose it makes a lot of sense if you really think about it.
You’ve heard the theory on social proof, right?
Well, social proof posits that people are going to base their perception of you based on how you look socially. In other words, if you see a guy at the bar with two women hanging off of his arm then you are probably going to think he is a player.
Now, I’m assuming most women might be turned off by a “player” but men tend to think a bit differently when the shoe is on the other foot.
You see, when we see a woman getting hit on by men we automatically think that she is of higher value.
There’s that word…
Value (what you need to show your ex that you are.)
So, let’s say that you go on a date with a guy and post a picture of it to Facebook or Instagram and your ex sees that. It’s going to be an indication that other men find you attractive and that you might be more valuable than he initially thought.
Ungettableness
If you haven’t already read my guide on “The Ungettable Girl” then drop everything you are doing and read it (the way you look at men will be forever changed I promise you.)
You know, it’s really funny.
I first wrote that article about 3 years ago and I still get asked about it all the time.
I came up with the idea for “The Ungettable Girl” after my best friend and I were waited on by a pretty attractive waitress. I remember very clearly how much he went on and on about how beautiful she was and how he would have no chance with her (I agreed with everything he said by the way (this was before I even met my wife.)
The fact that she was so far out of our league made her more attractive.
And that’s when I had the inevitable lightbulb moment,
This phenomenon applied to every woman I could think of who was out of my league. I always found that I was much more attracted to women who I felt like I had no chance of getting.
Take the case of Brittany a girl who sat across the room in one of my college classes years ago.
I literally remember thinking there was no way on earth that I could ever get a girl like that and it made her even more attractive to me. In fact, it made me so attracted to her that I engaged in a set of super embarrassing attempts to talk to her and eventually settled on coming up to her like a creep to ask if I could sit next to her (even though someone was already sitting next to her.)
So, let me ask you a question.
Do you feel like you are “ungettable?”
Do you feel like your ex views you that way?
Often I find that the women I work with aren’t. In fact, they are so obsessed with pleasing their exes that it’s impossible for them to obtain the elusive ungettable status.
There’s no chase, no reason for why he would even be interested.
And if you can’t get him to view you this way then you can kiss having him beg for you back goodbye.
Dictating The Pace
What do you think I mean by dictating the pace?
After working personally with thousands of women I have noticed that more often than not the person who controls the rate at which the relationship develops often wins out in the end when it comes to getting an ex back.
In other words, the person who controls how fast things are going/progressing and controls the landscape is going to put themselves in a great position to succeed.
But that is often a problem because it requires a great amount of discipline and women who are going through breakups are among the least disciplined creatures on earth.
So, I figured I’d give you a really great example of someone who I feel mastered dictating the pace and got her ex to actually ask for her back.
I’d like to introduce you to Anna.
Now, Anna was kind enough to hop on a skype call with me for the podcast and allowed me to pick her mind and I have to say I came away very impressed with her approach.
So, after talking with her I realized that she did an incredible job of controlling the pace.
I’ll give you a direct example.
The woman literally had her follow him around a house from room to room just so he could look at her butt!
Now, I know that might not seem like much but let’s dissect it a bit.
By having her ex follow her around a house she is literally creating a situation where he is chasing her. Yes, it’s on a small scale but all this stuff adds up.
You want another example on how she controlled the pace?
Well, as they met each other in person for the first time since the breakup she had him hooked in a conversation and then abruptly ended it and had him follow her to a room.
Again, I know this seems like small stuff but trust me when I say that it’s not.
All this seemingly insignificant adds up.
This is what it takes to make your ex boyfriend beg for you back.
Beverly
September 28, 2024 at 6:06 pm
Help my boyfriend if 2 and 1:2 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago because. I was ugly and angry over nothing and said. Mean things to him. We have had this same fight many times. I know he loves me. But no contact from either of us to the other
Rachel Aaron
April 12, 2022 at 6:25 pm
So I had a boyfriend some months younger…we broke up at first by December last year.after crying and begging for over a month I gave up.. sometimes he will reach out to me and other times he just blank me,he came back this year begging me that he misses me and wanted us to be more than friends and due to the fact that I love him I gladly took him back.he was sweet, caring,we even went on a getaway vacation.
I came home for the easter and I normally go to visit him once a week but he started becoming distant and when I complain he said he’s going to do better..he’s only interested when I’m coming over and his feelings are always conflicting.last week we had an argument and I was trying to reach out then got mad cos he blocked me (he normally does this cos he hates arguing) but later that day he came and apologized but I said lemme play the deaf ears like him and before 24hrs he deleted the message on instagram like taking back his apology.i reached out to him and after talking he sent me a smiling emoji..I found ourselves arguing again and he started telling me he came back only for sex and because he pitied me and I can’t believe him saying all these cause I care deeply for him and he always tells me I’m his best,he always have conflicting response to me and it hurts.
I dunno should I keep trying or leave him alone truth be told I can’t picture myself without him
Help! I’m new here.
Lisa
September 25, 2020 at 1:30 pm
He visited my city looking for a hookup. I was looking for just one great weekend with someone. We had a great time and both were surprised we felt a real spark so we stayed in touch, seeing each other once a month for a weekend and texting or talking every day.
Recognizing a long distance relationship is hard, I offered up the option of an open relationship. We tried it for a few months. It didn’t work. He acted like a cheating husband and I didn’t give other dudes a chance. When another girl posted a picture on FB of them out dancing, I lost it.
We both realized an open relationship wasn’t going to work and we wanted monogamy but lived so far. He suggested we go back to casual dating but I knew that wouldn’t work for me, it hurt my heart too much to know he was with other women. I told him it was all or nothing. He chose nothing. He said he wanted a girlfriend he could wake up to every morning and he knew it would be years before he could have that with me (we both have kids and have to stay in our cities).
I don’t even know if I should try to get him back or just give up cause our distance and timing is too hard.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 25, 2020 at 8:40 pm
Hi Lisa, this is a common issue with LDR. Was there a plan for one of you to move to the other eventually? The end goal of a LDR is always to be together at some point, otherwise one partner grows resentful of the distance. IF you think there is no chance you could live together then maybe consider that there is no way there can be a future. But make sure that you stick to a no contact for at least 30 days before you make the decision to reach out and make this work again
Deanne
April 29, 2020 at 3:08 am
My ex and I have been together for almost 3 years. We were very close friends before that and had a strong foundation. Though I had slight trust issues with him due to his cheating, I felt that our relationship got stronger when we had undergone LDR. He broke up with me a month ago and told me he needed to fix himself but never said anything about coming back. He claims that I drained him, especially with his other problems coming up. I begged for over a week and stopped when I got fed up. He became hot and cold with me the next days and I tried not talking to him for a week, but messaged him anyway and acted like a friend. He seems very hostile with me and he doesn’t even act that way around his other female friends. Sometimes, I don’t reply to his messages and he’d eventually leave a message to continue the conversation but takes a long time to respond again.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 3, 2020 at 2:35 pm
Hi Deanne, so if he is telling you that you are emotionally draining you then you are giving him the impression that you are too much drama or upset going on with you. Where you want him to relate you to being fun, loving, exciting place to be around. You need to complete a full NC period for at least 45 days as you spent so much time begging him. You need to take some time to change the impression your ex has of you at this point
Tano
August 23, 2019 at 9:30 pm
My ex and I have been together for 2 and a half years and this was a painful breakup. I had his back when he was down and out when he had no one for him. Unemployed and no money no where to go. Build back his confidence in himself and as a man. We started having little problems a few months ago because of his selfish attitude but some months after I realized he got close to another female and it became the talk of the town. Tried the no contact the first time he message me within days saying he misses me but his attitude was still stank until we officially broke it off a week ago. I have been going to the gym getting my body right fasting and praying and then I ran into him coming out from the gym. At first I ignored but then I let him speak. Anyways he told me still loved me a lot and he misses me he is sorry for all what he has done he believes he has some issues and he needs help and he has never betrayed me with the other girl. The next day he and the other girl was shopping together so I called and asked him what about all what he said to me. He told me he saying that doesn’t mean he wants us together and he regrets talking to me because I’m pushing him to talk because he made plans for us to talk. I told him I would confronted he and the young lady but I was kidding anyways he said leave he and his girlfriend alone and that was after he told me they had nothing going on only friendship. I wished him well and ended the call.
Cori Stewart
July 4, 2019 at 4:56 pm
Hi, Chris!
I hope you can help me with my dilemma. My ex-boyfriend and I argued in person then over text for 24 hours, and not I’m concerned there is no chance at all in the future. Here are the details:
We met a couple years ago and became friends while he was married. We began working in the same office, and our friendship grew. When he got divorced, we started dating a couple weeks later. The timing wasn’t great, but I thought that we could navigate a relationship if we were both mature and honest with each other.
Our relationship was great when we were together. We had lots of fun and so much in common. However, I do feel like we existed in the shadow of his marriage. After five months, he told me that he thought I was the one, but the timing was not right. I understood this, having gone through a divorce myself a few years ago, and told him we could see if there was a chance to try again in the future. It was, by all accounts, a respectful but sad break up.
Over the next five weeks, we had very limited contact. He texted me a few times to tell me that he missed me and was thinking about me. There were some shenanigans on Facebook. Last week, I texted him to let him know that I had a big career opportunity. He called, then asked if we could meet up. I agreed.
The meet up was a train wreck. When he Sommy, he said he had ex-boyfriend remorse and asked if he could take my picture (which was weird). We chatted a bit– everything was light and fun. Then, he asked me who I was dating. He told me he had been on bumble, and now he was off because he was seeing someone. After a few weeks! When he said he couldn’t fathom the idea of dating someone else after me! He then mentioned doing some of our common activities together in the future, and I said that I did not want to be his Paul and hang out while he was dating other people. We argued, and I ended up yelling at him, which is very uncharacteristic for me. He said the reason we broke up was that I was too invested and did not protect myself. I am very honest when it comes to someone I care about, so I do not play come here-go away games. He said he could offer friendship and I said no thanks.
The next 24 hours were even worse. We argued over text. I felt liberated because I did tell him that I felt a little used as a rebound, and that we needed space and time so that we could start completely fresh whether it be a friendship or more. He got angry because I ” leave the door open” when he wants to be friends. I don’t consider it leaving the door open and pinning hopes on a romantic relationship, although that is what I most want right now. I just want to clear out bad energy and start all over. I also told him he wants chaos and I won’t provide it (I’ve told him that before, and he actually called himself a ‘chaos monkey’ at our meetup). He got really mad because I don’t want to be friends. He said I paraphrase everything he says so it’s blunt, when he means something more nuanced. He told me not to text him anymore. I told him have no intention of it.
So what now? I feel like we have a strong emotional connection &incredible sex, he loves me (but is not in love with me…bogus), and there’s potential. I feel crazy right now, like I blew everything up. He said it was stupid to plan the meetup, but he was so angry that I would accept breadcrumbs. I plan to keep moving forward and dating. I am generally very happy. I can go years between serious relationships because I value a strong, intense connection. I would still like to try dating again when he’s on more sure footing, but I’m concerned that ship has sailed. I unfriended him after arguing. I regret that all of this happened. Please advise as to what I should do moving forward.
Chris Seiter
July 5, 2019 at 3:04 am
HI Cori…I don’t think the ship has sailed. Take a deeper dive into learning more about my complete ex back Program, “EBR PRO Bundle” so you have help with both the recovery and healing side of the post breakup period and also so you can learn to do the things that can help improve your chances.
Alyssa
May 14, 2019 at 7:33 pm
Ok so my ex and I were only together 4 months. We never fought and pretty much agreed on everything from political views to where we saw our lives in 5 years. He travels a lot for work, and the last week we were together he was in NY. He was super distant, barely texting and when i mentioned it to him he said he has been feeling distant lately and didn’t know why. We ended up talking when he got back and basically he said I wasn’t on his mind when he was away and didn’t feel his feelings were progressing for me. So we broke up, I didn’t do NC (regrettably) because well i didn’t know what it was at the time and we play on a pool team together once a week (played on this team before we were together). It was really hard but every time i saw him i would just play it cool and pretend like i was fine. A few months after the breakup i noticed him getting pretty flirty and going out of his way to talk to me at pool. I brushed it off not thinking too much of it but after another month or two i started to get annoyed because it was making all these feelings come back for me. I had just started talking to someone new but really didn’t feel like I could take that next step with them because I just kept thinking about my ex. So I texted my ex and I asked him if he was available to meet for drinks, he said yes. Basically I told him that I had unanswered questions about our relationship and that I was talking to somebody and felt like I couldn’t take the next step with them without getting closure from him. He was very open to the conversation and basically ended up admitting that he wasn’t over his previous ex (who he dated for 5 yrs) and that is why his feelings weren’t progressing, which made total sense to me. What didn’t make sense is by the end of that conversation he told me he feels like he is over that ex now. So I don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to try again? This was about a month ago, I met up with a mutual friend of ours and of course we ended up talking about him and he basically told me he thinks I was kind of like a rebound relationship for my ex and that I really helped him heal from his previous relationship and that he is seeing someone now and is happy. They have only been seeing each other for a month. We have been broken up for 7 months, I’m wondering if it is too late to go NC after all this time, or now that he’s involved with someone else if that would be a mistake. I have still been going once a week to play pool. Also he has still been flirty and very interested in my life. First thing he asks me is how things are going with my “guy friend” (who I am no longer seeing). Any advice would be super helpful, thank you!
Chris Seiter
May 14, 2019 at 11:24 pm
Hi Alyssa….I don’t think its too late to try NC. If things are not moving in the right direction, then sometimes is wise to change one’s game plan.
art
May 7, 2019 at 2:03 pm
hi and thank you for all your help
me and my boyfriend we are together for like 4 months and we didn’t even hav sex I heard that sometimes after sex it happens to have some problems and fights but the funny part is we didn’t and we fight all the time its like he doesn’t understand me I try to explain everything for him but at last he acts the same and I think I became crazy and I also don’t act normal . I broke up with him for like to many times but it didn’t last even for 2 days , the worst part is he makes me cry by his manners , there are plenty of girls around him but he says he doesn’t care about them and he wants me to be with him uffff anytime I leave him he doesn’t leave me alone and coms back but the same and I just forgive him , we broke up again but I’m not sure this time he even comes back or not I think I made him to sure that I love him and I never leave , I don’t know what to do I want him understand and come back help me plz I don’t know what to do I totally became crazy 🙁
Kel
September 24, 2018 at 12:07 pm
Hi me and my ex broke up about 3 weeks ago. He’s going through a lot right now without having a job and his family moving into a smaller apartment. So he broke up with me because he blamed me for it and said I was the reason this was happening. It really hurt and a week after we broke up we hung out and he came over. After that I tried NC and it’s been about two weeks. I don’t know if I should move on or take his things down from social media? Pics etc. he always said I wanted attention from other guys on social media and I tried proving to him that’s not the case :/
Chris Seiter
September 25, 2018 at 2:59 am
Hi Kel!
You know its never just one person’s fault. I would continue with NC but make sure you are doing it in the way I discuss in my program. Go to my home page as you will find lots of tools and resources there. Pick up my book if you need a comprehensive Companion Guide!
Megan
September 19, 2018 at 12:32 pm
I broke up with my boyfriend on Sunday after six years and seven months of dating, but he’s at least texted me once everyday since letting me know he doesn’t want to accept the break up or be done forever and that he misses me and thinks about me everyday. Does that mean I don’t have to go through with the no contact rule? I haven’t talked to him since we broke up and it’s killing me.
Chris Seiter
September 20, 2018 at 1:05 am
HI Megan….so 6 years of being together is meaningful and can help in the long run. I think you should use a limited form of NC. Let him chase a bit, but continue to build value. Respond to him when he is positive, but not overly. Let attraction build and move toward a casual meet up eventually. Do you have my eBook (Pro) as it will really help you see the big picture. Just go to my home page and check out your options!
Nastya
November 3, 2017 at 4:23 pm
Hello!
What is the best way to reply if he wrote 2 days later after my first Contact message just : ” *My name*? Is it you?”
During the month after breakup we talked and met, I texted him a lot. In general I can accept other person’s decision. But my ex behaive not very direct. And when I texted him I didn’t ask him to go back, I was asking like what was the reason, why he didn’t tell before about things that he didn’t like, the reason why he was angry at me and things like this.
Then I knew about NC rule, stopped texting him for more than 30 days. He didn’t write at all. Previous breakup he usually wrote first. I wanted to do longer NC but there was important football match of his favourite team. And I decided to use that opportunity to text. Before we didn’t talk about football almost at all, cause I ‘m not a fan. He knew that I’m not intrested in it. Also I live in outher country. And after that match I wrote ” You won’t believe it. I’ve just saw the *name*-*name* match. And I remember that it’s you favourite team, isn’t it? Oh.. The result is 1:1, but in that case it seems to be good.” So I thought that it sounds like I watched that occasiounally. Also I wrote in that social network that we never use for texting, but he uses it very often as far as I know. I didn’t dare to write in that dialog where were a lot of my messages not being answered. I decide to write in a new. So .. he red immidiately. But replied that way as I wrote before.
I think because he erased my number he didn’t understand who was writing, and my message didn’t make that ” Bomb” effect. It’s right? Or it’s still has some? How it’s better to reply?
Thank you so much, and sorry if I did mistakes in English.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 4, 2017 at 1:06 am
It’s ok to just confirm it’s you and then to continue the conversation
Victoria
May 15, 2017 at 9:38 pm
Hello
I’m really stuck, I broke up with my ex because he lied about his age (29 not 30) which is rediculous after over a year. Anyway when I confronted him hoping he would tell the truth and we could move on he continued with the lie and we broke up. Two days later he admits to his real age apologising saying he was scared to loose me because of my past where another ex-boyfriend also lied about his age, (why do men do that?). Anyway I thanked him for being honest and voiced my feels of hurt and anger in a non confrontational way and said I just want to move forward. He too wants to move forward but how do you do that when trust / emotion is up in the air? I want us to work and get back together but although it was his mistake which he fully accepts he seems just as wary as I am surly he should be doing more if he really wants to ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 17, 2017 at 1:00 pm
it’s normal that he’s wary.. if you’re back together, just take baby steps
Krista
April 22, 2017 at 1:42 am
Hi Amor, I think I’m having a somewhat unique situation. My ex boyfriend and I broke up about 6 weeks ago over him having money issues. We were only together for 2 months when he asked me for quite a bit of money. almost $7,000! I will admit that I lied and at first told him I would help him because I was at his house and he came in from work like usual and I could tell something was wrong by the look on his face and he said that his bank screwed up and took money out of his account and he needed $6,500 to make up for it. I sort of panicked and told him that I would help him because I felt like what was I going to say oh I’m sorry you’re about to lose your house and everything? Needless to say when the truth came out and I told him I did not feel comfortable giving him that much money because I didn’t know him that well he got really angry and dumped me. For about 3 days he ignored my messages and then finally said I don’t know what you want me to say because I won’t start a relationship based on lies ever period I could understand him being upset about me lying but after a while he calm down and we started talking again. He’s talked about hanging out in us even working things out in a few months when he got more stable financially period but then he wanted me to wait around for him to decide to have time to hang out with me when he used to always make time for me before no matter what. Well I understand that we were no longer together and he had no obligation to me I finally told him that I was not going to wait around for him if he was not going to make me a priority because he was the one talking about want to hang out and work things out and that I wasn’t going to let him use me for sex and I also told him that I wish we had never been together but I said it out of anger to which he responded wow you have lost your mind. He said I have never said anything mean to you and I don’t appreciate this and I hope you find love and happiness someday but I’m done with you so I decided to go 30 days no contact which I completed on Tuesday. I texted him I found myself thinking about you today and it put a smile on my face. I’m really glad you were in my life. Hope all is well. He responded well thanks I’m really glad we got to know each other better and I’m sorry that things ended on such a bad note. I wrote back that I was sorry too and that I hope things worked out for him. He was still having Financial issues so I told him that I was here for him if he needed to talk. I still feel like he’s keeping me at arm’s length even though he’s been answering my text pretty fast. I told him I wouldn’t bother him again but he said to keep in touch. This sounds crazy but I know he’s the one that got away and I don’t know what to do about it. I sort of feel like I’ve messed up texting because I don’t want him to think I’m needy or desperate so is there any way that I can start over in a way? I haven’t texted him since yesterday. Please help.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 28, 2017 at 4:06 pm
Not really..he’s being honest that he misses you but that doesn’t mean he wants to go back with you..
Gwen
April 9, 2017 at 12:56 pm
Hi Amor,
I’ve finished NC and right now I’m in the “funny text” part. This time hasn’t been like the past time, the other time I did NC I got him chasing me very fast and he was very interested then eventually we went back together. However now I’m not seeing him very interested in answering my messages. I prepare my texts for leaving him in a cliffhanger but he has being answering the next day (he is being nice not angry or whatever but desinterested) so it’s him and not me who is leaving me in a cliffhanger 🙁 I’m really trying to make my texts interesting but well we have being talking for just 4 days maybe my fears make no sense and I just need time to build rapport… and I wanted to ask if leaving him some hours is ok just sometimes (because of the zeignarak effect I mean) or if it’s better if I do it more naturally, because I think that’s my problem, that I wanna stick to the plan too much… anyway I also wanted to ask if posting videos or pics about love on social media is going to make him think I’m after him and that will make him friendzone me or something. For example I found a video that talks about having courage when you like someone and telling them instead of keeping it to yourself. I posted it with a quote that says “protected hearts end up becoming stone” (well I hope that makes sense I didn’t post it in English) so, for example would that be ok or is it better if he doesn’t see those kind of publications??
Gwen
April 12, 2017 at 11:14 pm
Ok thank you Amor
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 13, 2017 at 6:32 pm
you’re welcome!
Gwen
April 11, 2017 at 10:17 am
Okk thank you Amor.
I have another question. I asked once when I was doing NC sometime ago if was it wrong to start always the conversation and you told that what’s important is ending it myself in a cliffhanger.
However I have the doubt if it is chasing him or if isn’t so good if it’s just me who starts the conversation everyday, because I’d like to start talking little by little with him as before, I mean like just a few texts then more and all of that but everyday, and I don’t know if it’s a good idea writting every single day or if it’s better if someday I don’t text.
So, maybe if I leave him one day without texting waiting for him to text is that ok or should I write everyday to keep building rapport?
Btw he complimented me it wasn’t something weird, we were just joking about someone who I don’t know and called me beautiful and he told me “well it’s true that you are beautiful” and then when I ended the conversation he didn’t want me to stop texting and he told me he would write me more on his vacations this week. I don’t know if that’s a good sign I don’t want to imagine things anyway but I think he is starting to be more interested in talking with me.
Also I wanted to ask if it’s like begging for him telling him to come and visit me or if it’s too soon (it’s LD) because last time when I was building rapport I started telling him like joking to come and visit me and he answered with a very good reaction telling me he really wanted to see me again, although finally he couldn’t but maybe should I try it again the same way?? Because I think he could come this month but I’m not very sure.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 12, 2017 at 6:36 pm
yes, it’s ok to rest to let him initiate.. and it’s not really begging to invite him to visit but if there’s not enough rapport, he might decline it
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 10, 2017 at 7:35 pm
don’t post anything that conveys that you’re trying to get him back or that he’s negative or that you’re emotionally hurt because of somebody.. you don’t have to stick to the texting plan, do what your gut tells you is right.
Mada
April 8, 2017 at 3:33 pm
Hey, i need an advice.. Me and my boyfriend broke up, last year, about 10 months ago..sometimes i wrote him a message, and sometimes he replied, sometimes he did not..i acted needy..and then about month ago i decided to start with NC for a month.. I make it..and work on my self..I also went on dates.. So, last week i wrote my ex.. Day 1:2 tetx from me, day 2:2 text..day 3:zero..day 4: 3 text from me..and the last one was from me, and i did not get reply, so I decided to wait one day before initiate again..so after that i started to initiated again..and again it was 3 text from me..and it was the last from me..and not replied.. And yesterday was also like that, so I again decided to wait todayand start initiate tommorow..is this okey? Because i am on day 4, where should I make with him 4 text..tetx is always positive, funny, interesting..he also always look at my instagram stories..I do not know what is happening..Am I not that interesting to him or why he text me back 2 text, and then not anymore…I do not have any secret weapons..should I when i will text him, just send him 2 text, and with second end on high point or should I still try for 4 texts? But I am happy that he texts me back, even if it is not like i want..this is progress..but how to handle that he will text me back more than 3 text from my side? Tnx!
Mada
April 10, 2017 at 7:21 pm
Tnx.. and then if I rest for a week, then i start fresh with day 1 of texting? so 2 text maximum, and second one end on a high note? And more… during of this week of no texting, I have a birthday.. if he will text me to wish me happy birthday, should i text him back, thank you.. or should I not reply during this week? Thank you!!
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 10, 2017 at 9:01 pm
it’s ok to thank him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 10, 2017 at 5:46 pm
it’s just the first week of texting.. it will really take time.. if you want, rest for a week from texting and compile topics that are interesting for him.
Shannon
April 8, 2017 at 6:25 am
The story between my ex and I has been complicated as all heck. When we broke up he did the I never loved you thing, alright, I did the crazy stalker thing after the split, chased him, begged him, the whole nine yards. Then I found this site and realised I needed to do NC. So I did, for 5 days before talking to him. As soon as we started talking again, trying to be friends he would randomly start ignoring me. Wouldn’t start the conversation, left me hanging all the time. So I put up with it for a month, him saying ” oh we will work on us, I’m not available to anyone else. We are working on something very complicated. ” Even asked him to game and hang out and he kept blowing me off and saying no. So after I ask if we are still on the same page, I go onto his facebook and seeing him flirting with one of the girls he works with, like 500 comments on a post flirting, so I snapped and asked him did him not being avalible to other people exclude the girl at work and he ignored it. So he strung me along promising to work on things while moving on to a new girl, for two months. So I finally was like alright ” fuck you, I loved you after you hurt me and you strung me along. She can have you. Have a nice life, bye. ” which he ignored so I deleted him off facebook and everything else which I didn’t do when we first broke up. So yeah, now he is moving on and I let him string me along. I still love him even though he is an asshole. So do I just go back into NC? Does that work if he was the last one to ignore me? I’m sick, phsycially and he promised to be my friend and be there for me through this, but then all the him flirting with someone else me deleting him happened. And I don’t know what to do from here ….
Shannon
April 10, 2017 at 10:46 pm
Yeah, I think so too sadly. I guess I came back to this site for comfort while dealing with it. Like I don’t know if doing NC and just cutting him off will be best for me to move on. He was meant to be my friend, was my bestfriend before we dated, so I lost two in one and it kind of messed me up.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 11, 2017 at 9:57 pm
pain is good because it means you’re alive and it makes you grow.. It’s time to make new friends. You dont have to have a new bf but you have to meet new people and make new connections
Shannon
April 8, 2017 at 6:29 am
25 * Days of NC, not 5. During the time he only messaged me once to say thank you for valentines presents that were bought before the breakup and I sent anyways cause I had no use for the presents.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 10, 2017 at 3:35 pm
for me you should move on..
Siera
April 7, 2017 at 9:50 pm
Hi Amor!
Ok so my ex and I broke up towards the end of October. We talked a little, I tried getting back with him, nothing worked. We saw each other in December, we even had sex a couple times.. in January I finally decided to try the NC rule, I was a little scared because I had waited so long, but I tried anyways and follow what it said to do in the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. His birthday is February 5th, and I knew it was important NOT to tell him happy birthday. and NC ended like a week or so after his birthday. Well he did text me a few times during NC, and I never replied. It was a week before his birthday he was messaging me on fb messenger, instagram, everything he could message me on saying he is ready to fight for me. Just give him a chance, please contact him he wants me in his life, he will do whatever it takes to win me. So NC worked! BUT, I guess I didn’t follow what the book said to do once you got him back, and now he just wants to be friends.. he does keep going hot and cold, one minute he says let’s just be friends, and the next minute he’ll tell me every time I get close to leaving it scares him like hell. So what do I do? NC again? I feel like it’d work, bc I know he’s scared to lose me, he just goes through these hot and cold spells. I need help, I want him back! Help me what do I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 10, 2017 at 3:26 pm
talk to him first.. if he still says he just wants to be friends, do nc..
Jam
April 7, 2017 at 2:58 pm
My bf decided to have a breakup this Wednesday, we are almost turning 1 year this April 19. He said the reason for breaking up is, he wants space and he wants us to improve ourselves. He also said that he is getting tired of our relationship. But before our breakup, he is not answering my calls and is not replying to my text messages and fb messages. By that time, i have this strong feeling, that he’s cheating on me with another girl.
So, this Wednesday, I confronted him. I forced him to open up his phone, and I forcedly get his phone, I went to their bathroom, checked his inbox and call logs, and I am correct, he’s cheating on me. They’ve been texting and calling each other, before we even break up. I hid the phone inside my bag. Went directly to him, I hit him, threw my shoes, punched out of anger. I shoutedly asked him what’s her name. He shouted and forced me to give his phone back. We hurted each other physically.
After we got tired, we calmed. That’s when he finally said that he doesnt love me anymore. I begged for him. I cried endlessly. I told him that please dont let this relationship end. I cant face the truth. I cried desperately for him, said things, “I cant live without” “I love you with all my life” and stuffs like that. He said that he doesnt love that girl he is texting and calling. He said the problem is him, he wants to be alone. He only wants to be alone and nobody but him. I told him that, “If that’s true then why would even bother to find another girl to text and call.”
But then, he said that I’m immatured, I stopped, and think about what he said to me, I realized that maybe he is right. That’s where I gave up, begging for him. I decided to finally give his phone back, because of the fight, my lotion scattered inside my bag, phone got some lotion too. So i took it out, wipes all the lotion while crying but in a calm manner telling him, “Maybe in my actions, yes, im quite immature, but the way you played with my feelings, even though you know that I’m seriously loving you, i dont who’s more immature.” I calmly handed his phone back to him. I also told him while tying my shoes, and crying, getting ready to leave, I am sitting on his bed, “I never knew that’s what you think about me.” “If being immature is loving someone with all my heart, i’d be forever immature.” He’s just sitting there, looking at me. So I stood up, after i tied my shoes, picked up my bag and jacket beside him, as im turning my back ready to get out of his room, he pulled me, I thought he was going to hit me again but then, he kissed me on my lips. I was shocked. I dont what to feel. His look on his face, is like he’s about to cry. But I ignored him, and I quickly went out of his room crying. I just cant accept what happened us.
I unfriended him as soon as i got home. Removed our nickname on Messenger, deleted him on my contacts, because I dont want to make the same mistake of bombarding him with phone calls and text messages. Now, im currently doing the NC rule for 2days. Im finding ways to improve myself. I realized that I think that Im the reason why this breaking up happened. Do you think that he will come back to me after improved myself? How will he know that I’ve improved if I unfriended him on Facebook, he can no longer see my future posts. How will I contact him after the NC rule, if i deleted his phone number? Please help me, it’s only been 2days since our breakup, and im panicking what if he doesnt contact me, how am i going to contact him? How will i show him that improved myself?
Lily
April 11, 2017 at 10:32 am
Yesterday we talked a bit about a new movie and when the conversation was dying I stopped answering (I didn’t want to force the things and we don’t say hello or goodbay anymore, these last times we just jumped into the conversation). I have the feeling that things are better since I stopped forcing conversations and that was when he started to texting first last week, so I think this is the correct way to break his walls. Now I want to wait and let him text first again. (But I really hope that he do it…)
About your question, well, this is a busy month in my job, so I don’t really have many new things to talk about (last month yes but we weren’t talking…but he saw it all on social media). And in this new stage we aren’t talking about our lives, I wish we do but I feel thal I should let him set the pace. A few weeks after breaking up he asked me to be calm and not forcing conversations, because he didn’t feel like telling me as much as before, so I prefer to let him drive this. But I wish that he keeps increasing the contact, I should feel better now but I am still afraid of not making it.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 10, 2017 at 2:49 pm
Hi Jam,
there’s no guarantee that it will work but you have to put yourself first.. make your posts public and if you’re friends in other social media accounts, you can use that for first contact. check the links below too:
The Ungettable Girl
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Lily
April 6, 2017 at 10:03 am
It’s been three months after the break-up (it started as a “Pause” but…). Our last month together have been quite bad and I was being needy and negative. At first we remain friends, we started to be close again… later he started to be distant and ignore me… When I asked him why, he told me that he has moved on (not with another girl, he just said that he left 2016 behind) and that if we met (we live in different cities, one hour by train, but I will probably move to his city for work in less than two months) we could go to the movies or something but “another stage, another pace”. I told him that it was fine for me (It wasn’t but what could I say? Reasoning with him for getting another chance was my mistake after breaking up and obviously it didn’t work). I thought it was the end of the conversation but he told me some news about a common interest and keep talking a little…After that he suddenly told me that he still had the last pictures I sent him (days before the break-up) and he asked me if he could keep them or I wanted him to delete them. I told him that that was his decision, because the pictures were a “gift”. He said “oh well, I’ll take good care of them, they’re amazing”. The conversation ended and I thought that it would be the end (last months he was so distant that I stopped to text him because I was making it worse). But a few days later he sent me something about our favorite tv show (we used to watch it together) and we texted a little (five or six texts each) during two days, always about the show, an “empty” conversation but we kept it going… I decided to make him wait one night for my next answer (it was Tuesday night) and texted him yesterday (Wednesday) morning. He read it inmediately (since the break up he used to wait minutes, hours or even two days once) but he didn’t answered. I thought that delaying my response would demonstrate him that I’m not needy anymore but I think that I messed up… What can I do? I miss him and I want him back
Lily
April 9, 2017 at 3:46 pm
He texted again, one more time about our favorite tv show (which is “old”, it ended up like twelve years ago). My friends tell me that we is making some approachment with this and that I sould be happier but… I don’t want to be stuck in here. I know that texting me twice in a week is a big improvement, the last two months he only andwered if I texted and very cold and distant. So yes, I should feel better now. But I can’t help needing more. I know that I mustn’t rush or force things but I would like to start talking about other things, know how his life is going, rebuilt our ways, our conection… I can’t force him, so I don’t want to ask him more, I’m letting him drive this… But I would like to make him miss me and need me more, just like before… Because I am afraid of not getting him back. What can I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 10, 2017 at 5:47 pm
use more current topics and are you doing new things that could be interesting to talk about?
Lily
April 8, 2017 at 4:46 pm
Well I tried once, I broke it and started again but then he texted me this week, the time I told… I don’t want to text him first again (I’ve made that mistake several times and he was distant and cold, before we had that conversation and after that he seemed to be better but not enough, as a matter of fact I don’t understand why he sent me those things this week). He had told me not to force the things, so I’m not going to text him. But I miss him, I miss us and I am always afraid thinking that I won’t be able to make him back… I was clingy and needy at the end, so no contact should at least show him that I can change that behavior. I can’t do anything else…
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 8, 2017 at 4:38 pm
do you want to do the no contact rule?
Kimberly
April 6, 2017 at 3:57 am
My boyfriend of two years recently broke up with me because he felt that he was going to end up hurting me. It was really sudden and this is after we had made plans of our future. We are currently apart right now but will live in the same city again in about two months. When he broke up with me, I took it with calm and told him that if this was his decision then so be it. I wished him good luck. Ive been fine since then but recently he messaged me. He told me he missed me and he wanted me back. I followed the no contact rule as well as other advice I had seen on here. He told me he wants to speak with me the moment we both get back to the city. Eventually (after a couple of drinks) I gave in and texted him back, but I did not make a fool out of myself. I told him that I needed a lot of time to think about what is going to happen. After that whole conversation, he stopped messaging me and hasn’t contacted me since then its been about 4-5 days? Should I think anything of it? Im kind of stuck honestly.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 7, 2017 at 6:58 pm
You’re allowed to break nc if your ex says he wants to get back together because that’s one of the purpose of nc. Right now, I think he’s just respecting your space