How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Call You Or Answer The Phone- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

423 thoughts on “This Will Make Him Call You Or Answer The Phone”

Jenny

February 20, 2019 at 7:18 pm

Hi Chris,

I’ve really been enjoying the content on this website. I love having a game plan going forward.

My question is… my ex does not have a smartphone so I wouldn’t be able to send voice messages or photos via text. Can I use email instead?

Thanks so much!

Chris Seiter

February 21, 2019 at 3:24 am

Hi Jenny!

Thanks for the kind words and I hope you are soaking it all up! When it’s time to communicate, email is fine.

Honey Asgari

February 15, 2019 at 8:20 am

Hello there
I had the worst heartbreak of my life with this man who I I’m deeply in love over a stupid texting that happened the night before our fifth date. We were supposed to meet on the next day, but I noticed He hadn’t fixed time and date yet. So at around 8 pm I asked him if he could talk and he video called me while he was at gym. I didn’t mention about the reason u wanted to actually talk to him, because I felt he was acting cold. Anyways, we hanged up and I texted him some lines saying I felt there wasn’t consistency on his side and telling him why I wanted to talk to him in the first place, to fix time and place… long story short, he faded away from me from that night, which was a week ago and just yesterday blocked me on whatsapp. I am so devastated I can’t function my daily routines like before. He totally dumped me while we were both in such romance. During last week I couldn’t resist NC because there was no actual breakup conversation exchanged at that time so I texted him every two or three days. We exchanged some limited emoji kisses and stuff and I thought it was going the right direction. I bent backward for this man because of the love that I have for him which is soooooooooo in a different level. Our connection our romance was so unique and he shut down on me he has been so unfair to me just because of those lines. He only talked to me once during last week. Told me he would go to his business trip come back and give me a call, which he never did and then I had to text and text and text. Last night I finally decided to do NC because I was blocked on his whatsapp phone!!!!! Duh! I removed him from my Instagram and now there is no social media connection between us anymore. Yesterday morning he sent me happy valentine’s day message and I replied that I loved him not just yesterday but every second of everyday and then at lunch time when I tried to reach him I realised I was blocked. I’m in physical and mental devastation. Willing to pay for your therapy. I need help. Please help me. I live in London. Please get back to me ASAP.

Chris Seiter

February 16, 2019 at 12:50 am

Hi Honey!

So no contact could be the right medicine here, but you really would benefit from having a complete ex recovery plan going forward. Visit my website’s home page as I have several tools and resources. We also offer coaching as may be needed.

Natasha

December 24, 2018 at 12:55 pm

Hi Chris,
It’s been 2 years now since my ex and I broke up. The problem is we’re at the same Uni and have lottts of mutual friends which is quite irritating and even in holidays I keep seeing him. We didn’t leave each other bcuz of a fight, he got scared somehow of the commitment maybe although he told me that I’m his first love. I didn’t believe that earlier but now I sorta do. One day I invited all my guy friends to my house and so I told him just not to be blamed later on and he came, it actually happened twice and he came! A year ago his friends told me that he wants me back and he misses me but he didn’t say it himself and then I faced him and he said that yes he wants to get back but he’s afraid “of what i don’t know”. Then I let everything go but this month he’s trying to reach out once again and he seems regretful. He called me and we talked for half an hour and it was aaall good and joyful at the end he asked me when would that happen again I said I don’t know we’ll see. It’s been 3 days now and he didn’t say anything.
I really want him to keep trying and to get back but I don’t know what to do. What do you think I should do? How should I react and make him call me again? PLEASE HELP ME

Chris Seiter

December 24, 2018 at 10:23 pm

Hi Natasha! So if you are following my Program (pick up my book!) you would follow your No Contact Period, with a period of slowly rebuilding communications by text, then phone, eventually leading up to your first casual meetup. So my advice is tap into my resources here at the site so you are better prepared going forward.

michelle

November 28, 2018 at 3:44 am

Hi Chris, i already got phone calls with my ex but i ruined it i got angry and start fighting a bit but in the end of the phone i apologize to him and end the conversation good terms. Is it okay to call him again or just not contacting him for a few days ? is it ruining my relationship with him ?

Chris Seiter

November 29, 2018 at 3:45 am

Hi Michelle….ooops. Well, we all can get angry in a flash when the breakup emotions have not come into balance. Give it a few days.

R

November 3, 2018 at 7:38 am

hello chris, and EBR team
so me and my ex broke up two months a go, i did a successful NC and we reconnected again after a while, we had fights maybe once or twice but after that everything was going great expect he didnt want a relationship, he said we can be friends, i told him i refuse that situation but we’re not gonna talk about it now until his life gets better, he was so gentle and kept reminding me of good memories and we talked a little about things after we get marriage but he never really said we got back together, a week a go he saw my sister’s male friend’s comment on he photo and he was talking to me and it was some sort of a compliment, he got mad and we fought, we had a really big fight, i told him that i’m done playing mind gamed and if he really loves me and he’s jealous we have to make a serious step, i told him i can’t tell people stop talking nice to me cause u get mad when u’re not even my boyfriend, he also talked to my mom before the break up so my mother texted him after this fight telling him that if u want her u have to make a decision.. we didn’t talk after that, i’m doing a NC now all over again, what do u think i should do too and what would be my next step.. i can’t find any topic here that matches my copmlicated situation..
we have been in a long term relationship and this wasn’t our first break up but am really tired of trying..

Chris Seiter

November 4, 2018 at 1:05 am

Hi R.

Good for you! NC can be very effective but be sure to roll it out in the way I teach it. Its a two front effort…your recovery and the recovery of the relationship. Do you have my eBook as it is a great Companion Guide?

Kelly

October 17, 2018 at 11:07 am

Hi!
Rrading these are very insightful. My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me today. The reason for our breakup is that we have the same arguement about his inability to emotionally open up to me and verbalize how he feels. Within one hour of breaking up he removed me from Facebook and set my messages to ignore. Will he realize hes made a mistake and want to talk to me if I implement NC? Please help.

Thank you so much!
Kelly

Chris Seiter

October 18, 2018 at 11:30 pm

Hi Kelly!

Yes, sometimes that is how it works out. A guy can act out rashly….impulsively doing or saying something stupid. Many guys will block, then later unblock as they can stand no knowing what is going on with you. Whether its good or bad, our souls kinda cross thru each other and so its hard to let go. That is the spiritual explanation. There is a more technical brain chemistry explanation too!

Nelma Tavares

January 2, 2018 at 7:56 am

My boyfriend and I were in a relationship for 2 years. He broke up with me over the phone 4 months ago. I did the NC a couple of times during this period for 3 to 4 weeks. We haven t talked to each other since then. He texted me 3 times this month. To wish me a safe travels back to Europe for the holiday period, for Xmas eve and NYE. The 3 texts always started by “I just wanted to tell you…”. I systematically kept it short and sweet but am Kind of bored now by this kind of interaction and don’t know how to rekindle with him…

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 6:30 pm

HI Nehma,

check this one:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

Ebony

September 21, 2017 at 11:27 am

Hey my fiance of just over a year left me about a week and a half ago, I was distraught. .. I still am! We were in a long distance relationship so obviously he left me over a message on instagram. He told me he was leaving me for my own good, as we both have really bad mental health problems, so he said he needed to be on his own and that I needed to get help… he always used to say he would never leave me, and he was always going to be there for me. Now it feels like he’s a completely different person, he’s unfriendly me on Facebook (but kept our photos up and it says he’s still engaged), he’s blocked me on instagram. I am doing the no contact rule, it just feels so horrid. You would never think he would be this type of person. At all. Just after we broke up he said he still loves me and he wouldnt be the guy to just dump me and never speak to me again, but he hasn’t messaged me at all… I’m a wreck, from what I’ve calculated the No contact rule ends a day after his birthday in October … I don’t know what to do. Despite everything I love him so much, I know I shouted at him a lot and I know sometimes I treated him like cap but I didn’t realise how bad it was until now. You know when people say you don’t realive what you have until it’s gone? Yeah that’s me right now. I didn’t appreciate him as much as I should have.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 26, 2017 at 7:34 pm

Hi Ebony,

Extend your nc a week more

Jessie

August 2, 2017 at 4:34 am

I loved reading this article, but unfortunately I am at a crossroad where I have no idea what to do. My ex boyfriend’s best friend is texting me and he told me that my ex still loves me but is afraid to leave his current girlfriend for me; (in the past I cheated on him). I think he’s afraid to go back to me and afraid to waste his time or be rejected again, (which I will not do). My question is: How or what can I do or say to my ex boyfriend to convince him that this time really am being truthful? (Also the last time we talked he said he wants to see my actions, he doesn’t believe me words anymore , after I’ve lied too many times saying that I was a changed person).

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 3, 2017 at 6:13 pm

If you can work and have somebody else look over your child while you work, that would be better.. You need to know and cultivate your self worth.

You cheated on him before but right now you’re chasing him. You’re accepting that you’re the one who has to prove something even though he’s telling you he wants to be with you while he’s in a relationship.

Hanging out with other guys especially his friend is like proving to him he’s right about you..

Staying friends with him now is lowering your self worth too because first, you’re putting yourself in the friendzone. Second, it’s starting to look like you’ve been making up for a mistake that was a long time ago and both of you should have moved on from it since he’s in a relationship now too.

You’re showing him you’re just there, always waiting for his forgiveness..

The better approach is to talk to him about what happened calmly. Tell him you’re sorry about what happened before but you’ve forgiven yourself and that’s not you now and it’s up to him whether he forgives you or not but you’re moving on from that for your self respect and for your child.

If he wants to get back with you, he has to do the right thing first, break up with his current gf. If he says it’s just because he doesn’t trust you, tell him, that’s for him to work out for himself because that was a mistake years ago. Thank him for eveything and tell him you hope that he understands and respect the space you need for yourself.

And then do at least 30 days of nc.. Don’t tell him you’re doing nc. Don’t tell him you’re going to contact him after 30 days. If he asks if you will contact him again, tell him as of now you don’t know yet. If he asks if you’re still friends, tell him as of now that’s not workable.

Improve yourself. Have a new routine for yourself and your child. Have your own life. Prepare your life in a way that if you don’t get him back, it will hurt but it’s his loss, not yours. You have a lot in store for yourself and in your child’s future.

Jenn

July 6, 2017 at 10:53 pm

Hi Chris-
Quick question on my scenario…wont go into the long backstory but….Ex and I have been apart for a year now. We have texted only a few times over this last year. The last time was 4 months ago when I wished him a happy birthday. Last week I sent him a text asking if he would be ok with having a chat and catching up. He did not reply to the text, however, 5 days later he called me! I missed the call and he left a really nice message saying that he would definitely be up for getting coffee or a bite to eat and for me to give him a call when I had a chance. I called him the next day, well he did not answer and I left him a nice upbeat message. Saying it was nice of him to call and to give me a call back when he had a chance. Well now its been a week and nothing. Thinking the best action from me is to just wait. Wanted to know your thoughts?
Thanks a bunch!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2017 at 3:57 pm

why not try the no contact way? Be active in improving yourself and don’t contact nor replying for at least 30 days and be active in posting too and then initiate contact and continue the activities and posting while slowly building rapport?

sesilia

July 5, 2017 at 11:32 pm

Hi,
I’ve been following your advice to do no contact rule. when I’m done I planned to talk to him at night but he did it before me. before he contacted me. I had a talk with friend that ask me how I’m doing because my frend know we broke up. At first I said I’m ok but during we talked my friend know that I had a difficult time. I’m doing my best to get out from depression and improve myself. I know later that this friend of mind actually talked to my ex boyfriend. asked if he still mad at me and what his next plan. my friend also mention to him that he is very important in my life that’s why It was very difficult on me(he didn’t mention in details). my ex boyfriend didn’t know and his expression was shocked (acording to my friend). he thought he is not important person. then he started to like my Instagram and contacted after 3 days. but he contact me straight with asking when he can give me back my shoes. and wanted to ask about school stuff. It’s always asking stuff and my help. sometimes he will complained when I try to cheer him he didn’t say anything or reply very short. since he reply very short I didn’t reply him back. then he contact me again and ask again if I can help him fix his bracelet. After we talk I explained to him that I can try help him but not sure because It’s really not easy. and he send me cry emoticon. now I really don’t know how to handle this. can u please help me?
Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2017 at 7:36 pm

Hi Sesilia,

how many days have you done nc when he contacted you and were you active in improving yourself and in posting?

Sami

July 5, 2017 at 9:13 pm

Hey,
My ex and I have been separated for almost 8 months now. We were in a 4 year relationship and broke up for a few different reasons I successfully completed NC not too long after the break up and then started texting and/or calling fairly regularly but it never really progressed so I stopped putting in so much effort. Now either of us will randomly tag in memes or he will call which I think would be considered and “out of the blue” call and chat for at least 30mins. The calls are usually 2-3 weeks apart and generally around the same time of the week. I always feel good after our chats and then progressively start to decline for a few weeks and then that’s usually when he calls again. I’m wondering if he’s topping up his good feelings and if I should just ignore them until something more substantial happens? I’d rather ignore then continue to be roped into a cycle. Last conversation he said he had collected me some merchandise from an event he runs annually and he knows how much I love free merch! I told him just to let me know when he’s free and I’ll come collect it or whatever was easiest – we haven’t seen each other since the break. I hadn’t heard from him at all so I just gave up on it and decided to let it go. I want to let go because I want to move on but there’s part of me hanging on and I just want to understand what’s going on.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2017 at 7:30 pm

it looks like you’re friendzoned.

Avy

July 4, 2017 at 9:59 am

Hello there, I really appreciate your work! It’s been helping me a lot.
So, I have been thinking about my ex quite a lot lately… We dated for almost 5 months until he dumped me because of our long distance relationship. He said he was tired of the long travels to see me and I was a little immature at the time, I confess. So we broke up in the ends of October. And after no contact, he send me a messenger in December, on the Christmas day, wishing me nice holidays. We started then talking about random stuff and he kept telling me news about him. How he was working closer to me now. We started saying how he missed me in some ways and that made me angry. How he didn’t appreciate me before. And I asked him, if that’s so, why did you break up? And he said it wasn’t because he didn’t liked me, it had to be because he was tired of my immature ways and travels. In the begins of this year, I started not to answer to my ex because he would send me random snaps or funny images. He didn’t send me something about him or a specific message about us, so I felt annoyed by his behaviour. I was just starting to care again and he didn’t show real interest in me. Until June, he would message me and I would be cold. So we were on and on. Talking and not talking. He always initiated the contact. By June, he was saying how he missed our intimate time and how he had been with other girls but it was not the same because it lacked the emotional bond we had and we could see each other and maybe try something out again. I told him I was with someone, not boyfriend, but seeing if it worked out, so I wouldn’t be with me like that. And even if I was single, I wouldn’t be just a one night stand girl. He wished me luck. But kept insisting on being with me. One day he said he wanted to be with me to talk and I agreed. We both needed closure if we wanted to be friends. I asked him “if you were interested in me all this time, why didn’t you invite for a coffee for example”. And he said “because you were saying you needed space and giving me the cold shoulder”. He was always touching me and putting my arms around him. And I kinda kicked him out of my house. When he arrived home, he messaged me. And we have been talking every that for weeks. Last Friday, after me and the guy I was seeing broke up (wish my ex doesn’t know for sure just assumes it), we were together and he kept trying to have sex. I said no and we just kissed and made out. After he left, we talked again but he seemed kinda angry becuase we didn’t have sex and I told him that it didn’t happen becuase that is special for me and it would get emotional and I didn’t want to fall again. After that he would send me very short messages and I stopped answering last night. So the conversation ended like this:
– (me) “Do you remember when we went to that mountain trip?”
(Where we had so much fun, for I’m to remember our good moments).
– “(Him) Yes, of course girl”
– “(Me) we ended up not going to the lake there that you wanted to visit”
– (him) “yeah, we didn’t”

Since he seemed kinda bored, I stopped answering. Now I don’t know if I should try or just let this go. Because maybe he just wants sex and since I’m not giving it he seems bored and I’m scared to fall in love again

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2017 at 4:58 pm

Hi Avy,

Actually it’s so obvious that he just wants sex..

Lilly

June 25, 2017 at 2:29 am

I tried the emotional text example and I can’t tell if it was a good result….

Me: can I just say something

Him: for sure

Me: I’m so glad you and I are talking like this. It’s been really nice and I enjoy you as a person

Him: I totally agree haha, it’s been nice

Seemed like he was just being polite?
We are talking seminregularly as friends but I don’t know how to break the barrier and make him want me to be his girlfriend again…

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2017 at 5:43 am

Talk about interesting stuff for him.. That’s kind of a positive response from him but it’s like he just agreed with you

Elsshse

June 20, 2017 at 5:06 am

Hi. My boyfriend for 6 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago.
At first he asked for space and time because according to him he got tired of dealing with me being clingy he got tired of loving me.
It all started when he had a major problem with his family related to business. He got so busy that he almost didnt want to make time for me. I completely understand that and i have a big respect for his family. But it was my emotions that caused the break up.
I became too moody, clingy but after a while i ALWAYS apologize for my bad behavior and i always tell him that im.still adjusting to this big change because their major problems right now reallly affected his lifestyle and our relationship.
And going back, yes i did give him time and space NC for almost 5 days but during those five days NC , my friends contacted him asking he how he was, he told them he’s super lost he misses his self he’s tired of me tired of everything. My friends told me that and
That made me contact him again, iasked him if that was true and he said yes. And he doesnt want to continue what we have anymore. He said he doesnt love me anymore and that I deserve someone better. After that message i initiated a talk personally because i didnt want to break up through “chat”. But he didnt want it. After that he didnt talk to me anymore he even deleted our pictures on his instagram
And im still here after 2 weeks wondering if he would still change his mind if we still have a chance of getting back together. Idont know i feel.like was left hanging. What should i do now

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 23, 2017 at 1:23 pm

Restart nc.. do at least 30 days, be active in improving yourself during and after nc while slowly building rapport and be active in posting

Anna

May 2, 2017 at 4:24 am

Me and my ex boyfriend broke up 2 months ago and we’ve been together for a year. I went into no contact right after the break up. Recently we’ve been texting frequently and it’s been really positive; however I called him and he didn’t answer or return the call. What should I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 2, 2017 at 7:00 pm

wait 3-5 days before initiating a text again

Anne

March 4, 2017 at 6:13 pm

My boyfriend and I were together for about six months. I broke it off with him eight days ago because he was not a good communicator and I was tired of initiating everything. He had some issues and those issues also got in the way of our relationship but we generally got along and I do like him. I I was fed up with his behavior and sold through text I told him how I felt and that I was hurt and that I would not be calling him or texting him anymore. He old me money and does have items of mine but I told him he can just drop them off and put them in my mailbox. We do not share any children together but I do want him back but he is very prideful am very stubborn I am also very prideful and stubborn so I refuse to call him and he refuses to call me but I do want him back. I can stick to the no contact rule but my fear is that I will never hear from him he told me he liked me he told me God sent him to me but we have not talked. What should I do

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 5, 2017 at 7:35 pm

Hi Anne,

it’s ok to initiate after nc, what matters most is that you’re the one ending it at high point because that means you’re in control.

Shells

February 12, 2017 at 5:14 pm

Hi, My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for 1 month now. He has reached out to me a few times. The last time I told him exactly how I felt and I don’t know if I screwed up. We were in a long distance relationship. He was in northern California and I was in southern California. He had a job opportunity in New York and the plan was for me to move up north for a few months then go with him to New York. The day he left he broke up with me. I had already made the move to northern California, where I am now. He called me everyday for awhile and I ignored them. He also deleted me on social media and tried to readd me, I took him off Snapchat a few days ago, because I don’t want to see what he’s doing. Now our only form of contact would be texting or calling. I saw he added his ex before me and I don’t know what to do. He called me two days ago, and I didn’t answer, I really want to talk to him, but I don’t know what to say. I am upset because I moved for him and got left behind. I don’t know if I should use nc again, or what?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 13, 2017 at 10:46 pm

Hi Shells,
if you improved yourself, and you didn’t answer him all throughout the no contact period, then it’s time to build rapport. It doesn’t matter if he added his ex.. What matters is you continuously improve yourself even after nc, you’re more rational, you have good conversations and you’re always the one ending the conversations in high note..if you feel you need to extend to 45 days, that’s ok.. check this one:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

Mutiara

December 21, 2016 at 3:38 am

Dear Admins,
My name is Mutiara, i am 23 years old from Indonesia.
about a month ago, me and my bf broke up..
he broke up with me..
it was because my stupidity..
i was trigger him to said the break up things, because of my lack of emotions..
i wasn’t understand his condition and just think about mine..
i want to getting him back.. what can i do for it?
he was the best bf i could ever have..
i want to changed all my negative behavior..
i want to have a strong foundation with him.. i really love him.. i really do..
i miss him everysingle of my day..

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 24, 2016 at 6:39 am

Hi Mutiara,

when did you break up? are you going to do the no contact rule?

Jasmine

November 3, 2016 at 4:37 pm

I need help me and my ex boyfriend broke up because I had to move 35 minutes away from him after my car accident we really not getting along. At the moment but he would call me one minute then put me back on the block list and I won’t here from him and about a week… so far I haven’t heard nothing from him he blocked me from his messenger but still want to see my page should unblock his number and block him on fb as well ??

Sierra

December 1, 2016 at 12:19 pm

So I have a question should I use the 30 day NC? The only reason why I haven’t since we spoken is because we haven’t spoken for 4 months and I did implement the NC rule during those 4 months and I think not talking to me he was obviously sad. And even after 7 day NC he stop putting up a front like he didn’t want to be with me he pretended before like he didn’t want to be together and now I have him saying that he does want to be together. I haven’t spoken to him in two days I personally feel like he does this so he’s not too available for me. Because I know for a fact he doesn’t chase anyone for a friendship the fact that I tried to walk away and he chased me to stay in his life he obviously cares because men don’t do that for someone they don’t care about. The hard part is getting him to initiate conversation first. I’m more aggressive than he is so maybe that’s why lols
Sierra

November 30, 2016 at 1:03 am

Yeah believe it or not I really read almost every article on this website and I actually read the article you written about six ways to see if you are close to getting your ex back and one of the things that you mentioned was if he can admit to things he did wrong in the relationship and the funny thing is that he said that what he did as far as blocking me was cruel. To be honest I haven’t been implementing my game plan properly so that’s probably why it was failing but I won’t contact him or initiate conversation first because he actually does the same thing with his friends I just feel like I kind of have to train him on how to be in a real relationship because prior to me he hasn’t ever been in one not making excuses
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 7:01 pm

Hi Jasmine,

when did you break up? even if you’re blocked that doesnt mean you’re already in no contact rule.. You have to start the count yourself and you have to focus in improving yourself..that means if he calls, you wont answer.. and itbwould be better if you dont block..if you unblock him, dont send a friend request

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423 thoughts on “This Will Make Him Call You Or Answer The Phone”