How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Call You Or Answer The Phone- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

423 thoughts on “This Will Make Him Call You Or Answer The Phone”

Sierra

November 1, 2016 at 3:23 am

Hey Amor,
I don’t know if you remember me at all but I spoke with you last week. I told you about the story on how my ex boyfriend and I broke up because I lied to him and he felt as if he couldn’t trust me. So not only did he break up with me but he went as far as blocking me in every way possible (phone and facebook). Well I have news for you, he finally unblocked me after four months of our break up. Now he doesn’t know that I know he has unblocked me, but I found out that he still has my old posts that I sent to him back when were dating on his facebook page (you know cutesy couple stuff). My question is what do I do next? I am not sure why he has unblocked me, but my birthday is this upcoming Friday. So should I contact him or should I wait it out to see if he contacts me? Not to sound like a spoil brat but I feel like he should contact me since he was the one who blocked me in the first place am I wrong? Thanks

Sierra

December 26, 2016 at 11:28 am

So Amor I ran into a big problem my ex and I got into a misunderstanding. When I hinted towards the fact that he should come see me he said “We will get to plan that out eventually, but just know that you’re special to me” now I didn’t take it the right way because it can mean exactly what he said or he could be blowing me off. So I told him this is the last chance I am giving us a shot. Now ever since we’ve talked I’ve been distant in a sense of me focusing on my wants and not really chasing him but I also have stopped talking to him and told him to never speak to me again only to have a week go by and I come back lols. (I know I’m crazy) so he didn’t take me saying that very well about it being the last chance because I don’t want to continue down this endless cycle. So I kind of pressured him to tell me the truth that he didn’t want to be in a relationship right now which tbh I don’t either but I want a promise of a future together now we’ve decided to take things slow again and try to be friends for right now and not put so much pressure on the future. But I don’t want to be friend zoned and here’s the thing he checks up on me on Facebook he will look at who I’m talking to not guys per say but he will mention something about my page also we decided not to flirt so much although I know he’s really attracted to me and he said that I’ve hurt him when I leave and I now I understand why he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right is because he’s going through a tough time with his family and friends I’m in a rock and a hard place what can I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 29, 2016 at 3:39 am

if you really dont want to be in a relatinship right now, just be friendly and let go of the expectation if he wants to be back or not.. If the friendship grows that’s good, if not,then move on
Sierra

December 19, 2016 at 2:02 am

So it’s been going really well lately we’ve been building good rapport he hasn’t thrown any dates to come see me yet but has mentioned us going to North Carolina and Florida together. I just want to know what is a good amount to wait and see if he really does want to be in a relationship?
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 22, 2016 at 9:39 am

it’s just been a week right? continue building more rapport until you can transition to calls and then build more rapport and attraction first, so that it would be more natural to meet up, start with a friendly meet up first, not a romantic date
Sierra

December 15, 2016 at 1:32 pm

Right because it was weird on Monday we messaged each other briefly and when I sent a message he didn’t reply and then Tuesday night he messages me so I tried to reach out yesterday to be honest my message wasn’t that interesting so I kind of understand but it’s still rude
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 16, 2016 at 11:41 am

Yeah it is rude to just ignore but maybe he didn’t mean..he just wasnt that interested then maybe he was also doing something else when you texted, so it was easy to forget to text you
Sierra

December 15, 2016 at 12:22 pm

Hey Amor,

The problem I keep running into is the fact that when sometimes when we are messaging he doesn’t respond back. So I decided to wait a few days to talk to him this week we’ve been talking three days in a row
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2016 at 12:29 pm

It depends.. Because you cant keep waiting a few days always. If he doesnt respond back today, try again tomorrow. If he still doesnt respond then observe for the last time if it takes days again for him to reply you have to move on because it’s not progressing
.
Sierra

December 9, 2016 at 12:41 pm

No I completely understand where you are coming from when you were talking about moving too fast because I think the problem for us is that we weren’t giving each other enough space to miss one another so we would get on each other’s nerves towards the end of the relationship and start fighting so I think for us space not too much but space is needed.
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 12, 2016 at 5:36 pm

That’s good. So, this time, just take it slow and enjoy
Sierra

December 9, 2016 at 2:44 am

Yeah and that’s why I want to take it slow with him. And I can tell he’s doing the same thing. We’ve flirted a lot with each other and today I told him in a nice way that I’m not looking for a fling that I have to respect myself enough to not just have plain sex and he said he respects that. He actually contacted me today after five days of not talking I haven’t reached out to him ever since you said stop but what I’m finding is that every time that we talk he likes to have deep meaningful conversations about accomplishing goals and being motivated so I think it’s coming along I’m just not really a patient person so I go crazy sometimes with not knowing
Sierra

December 5, 2016 at 7:04 pm

Ok I will do that. So I’m trying to figure out what type of man my ex is if you could probably help me. You see when we were dating we moved pretty fast, and what I mean by that is he immediately like feel in love with me he was the one who brought up kids, marriage and wanted to move to Massachusetts with me. And I read the article Chris written about using male psychology to get an ex back and one of the types of men he mentions is the super committed and it’s funny because in the beginning there was a couple of times where he would get upset or feel a certain way about how I wasn’t falling in love as fast as he was then it was equal later on. Does it sound like he’s the SC guy or was?
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 8, 2016 at 10:16 pm

Yeah, sometimes, aside from the type of guys.. It’s common that when somebody moves too fast at first, the honeymoon phase will end early for them as well. It’s like the candle burned faster because the fire is too strong.
Sierra

December 4, 2016 at 5:08 pm

Ok good the next time I talk to him my plan is to make him feel old feelings the suggestion Chris gives in trying to get an ex to recommit is that a good idea or save that for later?
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 5, 2016 at 11:47 am

save it for later, if you meet in person, that’s when you try be a little bit more touchy..
Sierra

December 3, 2016 at 10:43 pm

And another thing he keeps asking am I ok and I used the ask him a favor message because he does personal training on the side since I have tendinitis I asked him what excercises I could do and he gave me a lot of recommendations he also said he would get something together for me to do then he made me promise him I would take it easy for my recovery lols
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 4, 2016 at 3:27 pm

Ah it’s ok to reply..better if you end the conversation. And him helping you is good too because it helps you bond
Sierra

December 3, 2016 at 10:37 pm

Ummmm…. I’m not sure but I think he meant reply back later because when I ended the conversation I said I will have to continue this conversation later I’m getting ready to go to class
Sierra

December 3, 2016 at 4:00 pm

So Amor great news after four days my ex finally contacts me and we started talking or messaging. He said that the reason why he hasn’t been blowing my inbox up is because he knows how busy I am with school and work. I told him that him sending a message isn’t going to derail my whole schedule lols. I used a little seduction tactic he wants me to message him later but I shouldn’t right?
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 3, 2016 at 5:35 pm

He wants you to message him? Did he mean he wants you to reply or he wants you to initiate? If initiate, don’t..
Sierra

December 1, 2016 at 12:29 pm

Crap I did it again sorry! Ok I asked if I should do the 30 day NC on my ex? The only reason why I haven’t done that since we’ve been talking is because four months went by without us talking and I did implement the NC rule during that time. Unfortunately I know him all too well and before and during our relationship I had to tell him to call me more so we can talk he’s not much of a communicator like as far as reaching out goes I’m more aggressive when it comes to reaching out to people than he is I have gone two days without talking or reaching out to him now the last time it was half of a day and he contacted me. My strategy is to get him to contact me more often by not always initiating conversation first by not being too available whenever he sends a message
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 1, 2016 at 12:35 pm

It’s alright. No worries! I don’t think you do nc this time but you need to invest more in your own activities. If you do talk or meet, make it fun. So, that you only have good impressions on him
Sierra

November 30, 2016 at 1:23 am

Sorry wrong post above lols. But yes the reason why I even reconsidered giving it another try is because although it doesn’t sound like it I know deep down he does care and after the last conversation we had he was able to admit his wrongs in the relationship and that’s really big for him because he never would admit he was wrong during our relationship he said that blocking was cruel and he sort of opened up to me more which I feel is a good sign. I read your article (I read a lot of articles on this website will get the book soon) but the six ways to know if you’re close to getting an ex back and one of the things you said was that if he can admit his faults in the relationship that’s really big because men are very stubborn and he did happen to apologize so please don’t give up on me Amor. I haven’t been implementing the right game plan because I feel like he’s so use to me initiating conversation that he doesn’t do that even with his friends he doesn’t contact them so I really need some support
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 30, 2016 at 7:28 pm

It’s ok! I read it too.. That’s why I want you to take it slow.. So, that you’ll know if he really is serious and you won’t be committing mistakes because of rushing.
Sierra

November 29, 2016 at 10:18 pm

What you just said really scares me because I thought I was getting somewhere now I’m back in limbo. I’ve been talking to other guys to really not put my eggs in one basket. The truth is he’s selfish maybe not all the time or majority of it so I think the best thing for me to do is to not contact him and ignore him it’s sad I feel like I have to do all of this like after 7 days of not talking he wants to admit that he never said I don’t ever want to be in a relationship with you which is true but that I want to take it slow so idk if im being played with or not but I’m not going to stress over this anymore
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 29, 2016 at 10:24 pm

yeah, don’t stress over it.. You know, if he really loves you, he’ll respect and value you. Maybe he’s being immature.. It doesn’t mean he can’t change, but that doesn’t mean he will change anytime soon too. YOu have to be strong and intuitive if he’s just stringing you along.
Sierra

November 29, 2016 at 9:45 pm

I agree it was selfish so I mean should I just give up? Am I wasting my time? I mean I was able to get him to open up and tell me the truth from what I can tell. I’m so confused Amor part of me wants to confront him and the other part of me wants to just sit back and watch his actions.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 29, 2016 at 10:21 pm

For me you should move on from him but seeing that you don’t want to, the best I can advice is to take it slow and be cautious.
Sierra

November 28, 2016 at 9:50 pm

Well I do some news idk if it’s good or bad but we talked on the phone we straighten everything out he told me he was trying to see where things were going instead of jumping back into a relationship which is not what I want either and he said the best way is for us to be friends first which I’m not comfortable with just yet he said he understands. He said that he was trying to test me to see if I would love him unconditionally when he brought up another girl, I told him that it was disrespectful to do that when we were obviously being very emotional with one another the night before so he apologized. But we are taking this slow we can talk about almost anything he’s definitely grown from what I can tell he’s more motivated about his career than before. The problem is I’m not getting any support from my sister or therapist the only person who supports this is on of my friends
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 29, 2016 at 6:46 pm

That test of his selfish.. He doesn’t want love, he wants someone to chase him, idolize him.. That’s a very big red flag.. If you really still want to try, I agree on taking it slow but you have to be careful not being a chaser..
Sierra

November 27, 2016 at 4:16 pm

Amor,
So yesterday I messaged my ex after 7 days of NC I was following the article for exes that want to use you and that’s what it said. But I don’t want to be in a relationship with anybody right now including him so I never told you this but my ex lives in a different state and when we were dating we were planning on meeting each other but we broke up before that even happened. So when I messaged him yesterday I asked him would he like that opportunity to meet finally and he said he was confused because the last time we spoke I told him to never talk to me again. I just want to meet and not have any expectations not wanting to say I want to be his friend or anything more that’s what I told him. Was that a dumb move?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 27, 2016 at 7:04 pm

I think you need to build rapport first, before asking to meet. So, that it wouldn’t be awkward and confusing.
Sierra

November 26, 2016 at 12:53 pm

Another thing I’m going to visit a college in Massachusetts in March would it be a bad idea if by that time I ask him to come visit me? Not asking him now but like almost a month in advance? Or just forget about it?
Sierra

November 25, 2016 at 9:24 pm

OMG! Amor you are so right I’m the only girl who I feel like has given him a challenge and one thing that didn’t click to me is that he’s friends with all of these girls but doesn’t really have an emotional connection with them like me so it’s just so he can have the company because I said I feel like I don’t have anyone in my corner to him and he said wouldn’t it be nice if we had each other in our lives for when you feel that way but as “FRIENDS” thanks Amor I really appreciate the feedback
Sierra

November 25, 2016 at 9:23 pm

OMG! Amor you are so right I’m the only girl who I feel like has given him a challenge and one thing that didn’t click to me is that he’s friends with all of these girls but doesn’t really have an emotional connection with them like me so it’s just so he can have the company because I said I feel like I don’t have anyone in my corner to him and he said wouldn’t it be nice if we had each other in our lives for when you feel that way but as “FRIENDS”
Sierra

November 23, 2016 at 11:54 am

I have an interesting question why would my ex boyfriend put me or want to put me in the friendzone? You see I think after the breakup he thought he was better than me and thought I would be on his tip and from what he was showing me or what he was trying to show me was that he’s moved on. I know that he isn’t looking to really date someone because he’s way too afraid to get into a relationship because he’s been hurt and he acts like an ass as a defense mechanism and I don’t put up with it even during the relationship so he would be sweet towards me. If you guys can write an article that gives the guide to getting an ex boyfriend back that is really guarded with his heart that would be great
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 25, 2016 at 4:43 pm

Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll forward that to Chris. Most of the time it’s for validation or company.. He doesnt want commitment but that doesnt mean he wants to be alone
Sierra

November 23, 2016 at 3:52 am

Exactly and I didn’t give him an ultimatum but I just told him that this isn’t for me. He wants to keep me around but doesn’t want to ever commit
Sierra

November 22, 2016 at 2:04 pm

You know Amor he’s become this social butterfly that he wasn’t when we were dating he’s talking to all these girls and it’s more than likely to feed his ego and I never did that when we were talking before dating he flirts a lot with women and i just feel like by being his friend it’s going to put me in a spot where I’m always available to him by not being his friend and cutting him off he knows how to treat me if we ever cross paths again. I mean the fact that when I tried to walk away and he frantically called me right after that has to mean something right?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 23, 2016 at 1:55 am

Oh..I think you should stop now or at least stop for a long time because he just really wants to friendzone you
Sierra

November 21, 2016 at 5:25 pm

Amor,
I essentially told him that I couldn’t be his friend and he called me to make me reconsider and I told him that I’m having a very difficult week we talked it out and he was being very sensitive towards me and I did reconsider it. The next day he tells me about a girl he met online and I told him I couldn’t do this whole friendship thing he tried to get me to reconsider again but I told him I can’t do it my heart is not in the right place and he told me he couldn’t be my boyfriend right now what does that mean? He also said that if he was to get into a relationship if we were friends if his gf couldn’t except me being in his life than it would be over between them idk what that means either? He was giving me mixed signals so I had to end it did I make the right decision?
Sierra

November 19, 2016 at 12:37 am

He also gave me his schedule the best times to call and ask for the best times to call me. I told him in the beginning I’m not trying to get into the whole FWB thing and I truly don’t see him doing that but he has major trust issues and I feel like he’s keeping me at an arms length right now and don’t know what my next move should be
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 21, 2016 at 4:25 pm

Use it to your advantage..be friendly but dont always be available. be the ungettable girl.. Have fun talking but have more fun in your own time..
Sierra

November 19, 2016 at 12:00 am

He did happen to call me and he said that he really wants me to be his friend and I told him after we got off the phone in a message that I will have to think about it. Idk if I should give up or if be his friend but what if I get stuck in the friends zone? I knew it would take some time because he’s stubborn but I never thought he would keep throwing that friend label around as much as he did today . I told him I don’t want to be his back up and he said that he values me more than that to use me for something physical. Amor what should I do? Does this mean I don’t have a chance anymore?
Sierra

November 17, 2016 at 5:23 pm

I ran into another problem. I sent a message to my ex saying that “I have something really interesting to tell you can we speak on the phone?” And he responded hours later asking me to send him my number. Now my ex boyfriend hates talking on the phone but I thought we were having fun messaging and thought it would be an easy transition into phone calls well it wasn’t now we aren’t speaking I haven’t been sending him any messages I’m trying to do a 7 day NC rule and if he doesn’t respond I will do two weeks. We’ve had eight conversations through messaging did I ask too soon to talk on the phone? Back when we were dating we would talk on the phone for hours so idk if he just thought that I wanted to speak on the phone to trick him into talking for hours. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 18, 2016 at 10:58 pm

Did you talk on the phone after you gave your number to him? Did it go well? If it did, then dont worry. If he didn’t call, what did you talk about?
Sierra

November 15, 2016 at 10:52 pm

Thanks Amor that’s exactly what I did I played with it a bit so it wasn’t so serious I agree I should just be light. I appreciate the feedback thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 11:04 pm

That’s good! Just keep it like that. You’re welcome!
Sierra

November 15, 2016 at 6:53 pm

I told him if he wants to be intimate or touch me he will have to put in the work. We are getting to the next level of talking on the phone, when I speak to him on the phone should I mention that he needs to not flirt with me even though he doesn’t flirt with me a lot? I just don’t want him to think that he can sleep with me anytime he wants.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 10:31 pm

Hmm.. I think it would be better if you say that in a humorous way. At least, it doesn’t sound too serious and it wont hurt him at the same time you’re conveying your standards. When he starts being flirty, play with it. When he says he wants to sleep with you, tell him, “Of course you do! But it’s a VIP pass.. do you have the pass? ;))
If he asks what’s the pass, tell him, “Ooohh it needs a lot of (coffee) points.” I like coffee.. but it’s just another term for date. Play around with it.
Sierra

November 14, 2016 at 2:37 am

Amor,

The funniest thing just happened today I didn’t message him all day and he finally sent me a message. The only problem that I can think of is that he flirted with me a little bit today which I read the article about flirtrattraction. I told him that he will have to put in work was that a bad idea?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 6:13 pm

hmmm… how did you tell him?
Sierra

November 8, 2016 at 4:18 pm

Do I wait for him to message me? Or do I reach out to him? The thing is that when we were courting one another most of the time I was the one who initiated most of the conversations and idk if I can get him to chase me
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 11, 2016 at 9:43 pm

you were courting each other? Wait two weeks, if he doesn’t initiate, you can..
Sierra

November 7, 2016 at 12:32 am

Yes I was acting out on emotion because he didn’t remember my birthday and I was drinking so I just was being emotional and not thinking clearly. But I guess the good news and that it seemed as if he kind of missed me and it sounded like he was probably doing the same thing like trying to convince me that he’s moved on. When he said certain things like don’t be mad at me for not remembering your birthday because he has a bad memory (brain injury) I didn’t say anything back I just kept talking about how good the food was when I went out with my friends for my birthday. Once we got out of that conversation of how things went he switched the conversation into a more lighter one. From what I’ve told you, does it seem like what I was doing was working?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 6:43 pm

Yeah, just continue building rapport through texts first and then calls later on and then meet ups
Sierra

November 6, 2016 at 4:27 pm

Hey so a funny thing happened when he unblocked me my old posts were now visible on his Facebook page and he liked them and a couple of days ago I just got upset and messaged him letting him know that I’m in a better stage in my life and that I don’t want to play games or get into a relationship. He said he was very proud of my accomplishments he said it three times. My question is did I make a mistake by messaging him? And what do I do next?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 12:04 am

You messaged him in your birthday? Yes, it was a mistake. Not because it was sent in your birthday but because the message sounded like you were just trying to convince him… If you really moved on, you wouldnt say that.. if you still want to try, just continue on being active, and dont open that topic again. Be friendly and talk about other topics.
Sierra

November 5, 2016 at 5:48 pm

So yesterday was my birthday and my ex never wished me a happy birthday so I got upset the day before my birthday he liked an old post of mine that was on his wall. So I just got upset and told him that I don’t to go down this road of us getting back together and that I’m done. So he messaged me back said that that was fine we wished each other well but he bated me into a conversation I used one of the tricks I learned on here about getting him to trust me again by reinstating that I like it when we are being honest with one another but did I make a mistake by messaging him. He says that he’s really proud of me and my accomplishments but idk what that means and I don’t know if I even want to get back together what should I do?
Sierra

November 2, 2016 at 1:10 am

Thank you. Now what are the next steps I should take? Besides playing it cool and not messaging him lols
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 3, 2016 at 1:08 pm

you just really have to go back in your activities..like somebody who has moved on
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 7:49 pm

Hi Sierra,

I actually agree that you shouldn’t message him first this time.. If you message him first now, it would look like you’re waiting for him to unblock you.

R

September 26, 2016 at 8:15 pm

Hello
My ex doesn’t like texting. He didn’t respond to my texts after no contact period. But today when I called him after 3 months he picked up the phone immediately! Well I controlled the start and ending point of the conversation but I wonder a 10 minutes long conversation would make him to call me back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2016 at 7:56 am

Hi R,

If he doesn’t like texting, then just stick to calls. One call wouldn’t make him want to call back.. You have to build rapport and attraction. Once he’s interested again in you, there’s a higher chance that he will initiate the calls again.

E

July 10, 2016 at 12:58 am

Hi, my ex boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago because he felt affection for me but was not in love anymore. We live very far from each other so it was a LDR and we met about twice a year for 1-2 months each time. After the break up we decided to stay friends and kept writing about once a week and video called with Skype about once a month. We also met a few times while I was in our home town for a month and he told me he had a nice time with me but didn’t feel in love. For the last month, I’ve been doing NC and he wrote to me after approximately 30-35 days to tell me his grandmother, who I felt was like my own and he knew it, had died. I answered telling him my condolences and then we chatted shortly. I don’t have problems getting him to write back or call, I just don’t know how to get his love back, can you give me tips to connect again on an emotional level?

E

September 1, 2016 at 1:17 pm

We now chat on messenger about 2-3x a week and skype every two weeks and he is very friendly but it just feels like we are friends now. He tells me about his failing flirting techniques and that his job stresses him because he feels incompetent for the job. So do you think he friendzoned me? When we were together we were best friends too so I’m just confused on how to get him to love me again and keeping that complicity.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 1, 2016 at 3:04 pm

he’s going to if it’s like that.. you should read this article: EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend
E

July 16, 2016 at 2:18 am

Yes, write as in text, or on Skype. We also sometimes video call on skype. When we do, he seems more friendly and more fluent than when we text. He never says no when I ask him if he wants to Skype, but the idea never comes from him. Is this a better way to build rapport? I don’t know how often is better, I don’t want to annoy him so I usually ask him about once a month. He always used to be the one chasing me, I don’t want to chase him to much but I still want to build rapport because we both have fun when we are or talk together.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 16, 2016 at 6:01 pm

yes, it’s time to move on more to skyping.. hmmm.. it doesn’t have to be everyday but if it is that’s good too.. the quality is more important.. try to talk about something you can continue on the next time or something he might want to ask an update about
E

July 15, 2016 at 12:56 pm

Thanks! And should I keep writing to him about once a week? At the end of a conversation he always wished me a nice week until I did one month NC. And I am not sure if he sees my posts on Facebook anymore, he used to like them all stil a few months ago, but now he hasn’t commented anything in a while. So how often should I write to him ( when I do he writes back and we have a fluent conversation) ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 15, 2016 at 6:43 pm

write as in text right? If it’s just once per week, you wouldn’t be able to build rapport with that.. with texting style, listen to this one: EBR 022- How To Text Your Ex Boyfriend
E

July 14, 2016 at 10:02 am

Thank you! I’ve read the articles and this is exactly what I needed: I used to be an ungettable girl when I first me him and he still kept chasing me during the first 2 years when we were together and then stopped so the last year together felt like we were an old couple. The problem is when I don’t first write to him, he won’t write to me by himself and since we are long distance, I don’t know how to have him chase me again. When I was in my home town a few months ago, he texted me every time after we had seen each other to thank me for the fun day together that he had fun with me and that he enjoys being friends with me. Since I am back here, he never contacts me first excepted when his grandma died. Since he broke up with me because he didn’t feel in love with me anymore, is there a way he can chase me again?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2016 at 8:16 pm

Sorry, I’ll sound like a broken record.. but it’s really just aiming to be the ungettable girl again and being active in social media so he can see it
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 10, 2016 at 8:16 pm

Hi E,

you need to read this articles:
The Ungettable Girl
What Really Attracts An Ex Boyfriend To You?

Lisa

July 10, 2016 at 12:20 am

I sent a long story that didn’t get posted. I read all the advice & I know I can’t write him it’s urgent or he will run farther. But it is. And I can’t prime a call with any of the style of texts because he blocked me. Can you please read the reply i sent a few days ago. I would be eternally grateful.

Lisa

July 11, 2016 at 4:45 am

Amor, this wasn’t hormone based. I am not pregnant now. I have frozen embryos. He knows I don’t want him to father a child. He supported me the whole round, but broke up saying he wanted me to find someone who shared my dream. I think he thought I had hesitation during the process he wouldn’t have broken up with me. I don’t think you saw that the stuff the appeared psycho occured because he has bipolar & due to something he did, I was scared he had an episode & was in jeopardy. Otherwise the 1st & main problem wouldn’t have occured. He failed to communicate his feelings as it was all mixed signals. May 1 made me dinner & said excited to go to concert in 3 weeks, but then me offering a nice gesture a few days later upset him because he thought it was too many texts & I had other motives when I was really trying to be nice because I knew he was depressed & wanted to help since he did so many nice me during the ivf. Bipolar people are very paranoid, I’ve read everything about the disease & relationships. I didn’t want to stay in the relationship to feel loved, I felt he was the one & most in sync I’ve ever been with a man. He thought ther was a chance the ivf coukd fail & deep down I think he hoped it would because he cared about me & wanted to be with. Me minus a kid. I did the no contact after our brief friendship period & after he sent the nasty letter, I waited a month to send one explaining that I would’ve never done anythjng to jeopardize the friendship but he didn’t communicate well. After we drank the nt of his bday dinner he said he only wanted to catch up every 2 months for a concert & dinner, but then we still hung out twice week for 2 weeks. If he communicated that we shouldn’t talk for 3 weeks till the concert, I would’ve left him alone but he didn’t communicate so I had no clue my texts upset him. I wish there was some way to get him to talk to me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 8:46 am

well, that’s good..at least you only have yourself to look after to for now.. Since he is bipolar, it’s more reason for you to do active no contact. Because even if he is the bipolar one, you’re the only one who kept reaching out..
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 10, 2016 at 8:13 pm

Hi lisa,

it was actually posted.. And I had a frank reply to it.. so brace yourself but hear me out.. it’s for the better.. I’ll paste it here:

Hi Lisa,

I just want to make sure. is the ivf successful and are you pregnant now?

You need to be in therapy for your depression..

I’m not sure if you did those because of hormones or because you are insecure and the relationship ended in honeymoon period..

but either way, stop chasing him.. I don’t like being harsh, especially if you’re pregnant but you need to read back on your comment..

You looked like a psycho obssessed stalking ex girlfriend which can be because of hormones but even if it’s that, you have to be aware now that you have stop being like that ok?

Love yourself. A child or a partner is the best companion in life and a we all need core relationships but you need to learn to get love from yourself because it’s not true love if you just want to stay in the relationship just to feel loved..

and to add to that that means you have to do nc but it has to be a long one..maybe even in the span of your pregnancy and just focus in it first.. and after they’re newly born too.. coz if he sense you’re still trying to contact him with your growing belly, he might think you’re just wanting a father to your child

Mugie

June 16, 2016 at 12:49 am

Well we have been dating for 2 months
After the break up i didnt contact him for 2 months
Ten days ago he blocked me on Facebook
And i still don’t know the reason why we broke up
It’s like my chances are so weak

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 12:21 pm

Hi Mugie,

I know you haven’t talked to each other..but you haven’t started being active in improving yourself too right? so that’s your agenda during nc..be active in social media even if he blocked you..just don’t caption that it’s for him or moving on.. make it a casual post

Ei Thaw

May 16, 2016 at 5:40 am

I want to make a call to my one sided love person.But I don’t dare.I’m afraid if he won’t reply me well.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 19, 2016 at 9:07 am

Hi Ei Thaw,

Have you done the no contact?

Joe

April 22, 2016 at 7:31 pm

ok so YES I MADE SOME MISTAKES since the break up. I was almost a text gnat… but not quite… (like really close) I only texted once every couple of weeks. Right after the breakup I asked if we could still be friends (and he said yes we can, but right now he was going though a lot of things and needed to focus on things (little did I know that everything that was going on was right around the time of breakup, and is part of the reason we broke up, not why he said)
Anyway, he called me a few days later, I answered. I replied back with a you sound tired message wanna talk. …yep nothing from him…. a couple weeks later I texted him asking why I was on his ignore list…yep insert snappy response from him.
A couple weeks later he calls again… I answer yet again.. he’s apologizing for being an asshole earlier, and saying yes he wants to be friends (this is a very long term thing for both of us) I again stupidly text him the next day, thanking him for the call. Telling him what I believe friends to be, and that he could tell me what it means to him.
a few days later… FB picture.. he looks so tired… so what do I do… text him to see how he’s doing, and to see if everything Is ok. Saying if he wanted to talk he knew where I was. Easter…. my text to him… I know I’m still on your ignore list….insert unhappy text from him.
A few days later, I texted an apology saying I was being a jerk! no response…
A few days later he calls me.. wishing me luck on some interviews I had coming up
Yep you guessed it… I texted him the next day… this time it WAS SO LONG!!! yep I got the arrow beside the text…)
A week or so later he calls to congratulate me on my new job, we chatted he smiled and laughed, I smiled and laughed.
Then guess what… I didn’t text him 🙂 YAY ME!!!!
basically he’s going through some things, major things, and needs his space. He’s been telling me silently all along that he needs his space, but in my hurt I couldn’t hear them.
My question to you, is I know I screwed up, and I’m doing NC now and working on ME (yes for the first time In like 16 years, its all about me) , like completely clean this time, no FB instagram, Twitter, nothing.. (is there a support group for Social Media Withdrawal ***yep going crazy here ***;)…) Is it too late for this to work? Did I screw up too badly to get him back? (yes I guess I’m feeling a little down today 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2016 at 2:03 pm

Hi Joe,

you’re 16? that’s good that you’re focusing in yourself.. I’m assuming he’s a teen too.. take it slow.. build your own life, use nc as a start for it…you should have your own life apart from your bf whatever your age is.. and both of you are just starting to have a bigger world..enjoy that because someday instead of just having time to have to have fun, you would only spend most of it for your responsibilities

s

March 5, 2016 at 7:54 pm

last saturday my ex boyfriend told me if I want we coul see each other and I told him that when I was free I would tell to him so this friday I called him and I asked him if he wanted to see me this sunday. H esaid that he would tell me. Tonight he said me that he can’t tomorrow and if I want that we coul see each other after my university degree (that will be the 16thof march), when I will be more free. ( I think that is only an excuse naturally) so I said him that he could tell me when is free this week so I can tell him whwn we could see each other and I made another question about his work. He answered only about the work so I told him” let me know” (for the date)! What to do? Only waiting for an answer… I wanted to see him also to invite him to my university degree… even if he will not come at all… Now what to text him? or I have to do other things? I don’t want to show him neediness but I would like to see him this week before my graduation and to invite him also in person

S

March 17, 2016 at 7:40 pm

OK… and what can I do so? only say thanks to him and wait or anything else?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 19, 2016 at 7:15 am

Oh sorry.. I meant initiate convos only for the meant time instead of meet up
S

March 17, 2016 at 5:32 pm

hi!
yesterday I get graduated and today my ex boyfriend has finally send me a text and he said that he was sorry because he has not listened to my thesis yesterday ( last week I invited him but he has not answered to me) and that he wanted only to make me his congratulations. How can I start a conversation? how can I convince him at least to see each other one time?
thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 17, 2016 at 6:08 pm

Don’t rush, if he’s not engaging in talks, it’s less likely that he would meet up because there’s no rapport. What did you reply to that?
s

March 11, 2016 at 7:44 pm

yesterday I wrote him a text about a film and I asked how’s going work just to open conversation and he don’t answered, today I wrote him to invite him to my graduation but he didn’t answered anymore. I feel like I regressed with him. On weeks ago he answered to me and now not even an answer. What to do? I have to no contact him for a while? or text him anything? I don’t know…
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 12, 2016 at 12:52 pm

Yes..stop for a week before trying again, if he still doesn’t respond..either you try after two weeks or try to move on
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 6, 2016 at 6:51 am

you can send one open invite, then do other things 🙂

Alyssa

March 4, 2016 at 2:42 pm

Amor,

I’ve been reading other people’s stories on here for about an hour an a half, looking for one that sounded like mine. I can’t seem to find anything similar to my situation. My ex and I were together for about 2 years. Everything was amazing at first. Eventually, we started arguing. He was jealous and insecure. He didn’t like it when I would go out with my friends and things of that nature – saying that I cared about them more than I cared about him. I broke up with him the first time (after a year) because I couldn’t deal with his controlling behaviors (I’ve had controlling bf’s in the past). After a week I gave in and we got back together. About 6 months later we broke up again (mutual), got back together, broke up again (mutual) and then got back together – within a 6 month time period. I was sick of the back and forth so the last time we got back together I decided that it was going to be all or nothing. After months of negotiating with myself about whether I wanted to be him or not, I decided that I didn’t put all this effort into our relationship for nothing, and that I was willing to do anything to make it work. What I didn’t realize is that his feelings were not the same as mine. That was about two months ago. I could tell things were different between us, but I didn’t let it bother me. Then I just couldn’t fight my feelings anymore, I started wondering why he was acting so distance. Was there someone else? After two years of never going through his phone (he went through mine) I went on his social media and found numerous messages to girls, one in particular that he was asking to meet up with while I was out of town. I confronted him, and his reaction was that of typical cheater. He of course denied it, and then began blaming me for the demise of our relationship (innocent texts in my phone, dancing on guys when i was drunk) and then something that really stuck with me that he said within the first 10 minutes of our 8 hour long confrontation – “Well, we we’re gonna break up anyways”. I feel like he gave up on us and on me. I feel like he stopped loving me 6 months ago and that’s when he started cheating. I’m devastated because I ALWAYS trusted him and I truly didn’t believe he would do something that would intentionally destroy me. His half-ass apologies kept beginning with “Im sorry, BUT you…”. They don’t feel real. It doesn’t seem like he thinks he did something wrong. I was expecting him to overtaken with guilt and beg for forgiveness (what he has done almost every other time I’ve been upset with him), but he wasn’t. Our three day long, on going conversation ended in a text message telling me that he loved me, but he was busy at work and had to go. That was exactly two weeks ago. I am trying my very best to do my own thing while partaking in NC. I started working out, and I have a lot of fun activities planned in the next few weeks.

I don’t even know if I want to be with him anymore, but I do feel like I eventually need to talk to him. I know its cliche, but I need some kind of apology, or some kind of “closure” so that I know I’m not so unloveable and worthless that he could just drop at any point in time and never talk to me again. I feel stupid for not seeing the signs, and guilty for only thinking about my feelings and never his. I know he felt unappreciated, I didn’t mean to make him feel that way. I love him and I miss him, and I just don’t know how to move on without knowing that he misses me too, and that he is actually sorry for what he did.

Thank you for your time,

Alyssa

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 5, 2016 at 8:06 am

Hi Alyssa,
I don’t think you lacked effort..you even said you were putting the work.. the best time to do that is after bc of course.. at least by that time you’re more emotionally ready to reconnect and if ever he wants to be back with you.. take everything slow becauese then it will be a cycle again.. let him make th effort for you

s

March 4, 2016 at 9:45 am

Today I called my ex we talk about ten minutes about school and work. I told him that he wanted we could see each other this sunday because he had alrealdy asked me to go out one week ago and I told him that I couldn’t. He said that he will tell me if he can go out with me this sunday. I tried to drive the conversation but he closed him the conversation:/
Angel

February 29, 2016 at 5:45 am

Hi! My boyfriend suddenly told me lastnight that we aren’t suited for each other and then blocked me on whatsapp only. He’d do this to me everyitme he is sad about his kids from his previous relationship. He felt I deserve someone who doesn’t have issues and rubbish. I really like him a lot! We’re on LDR and been together for more than 2 years now. Lastweek, he just told me that im the best thing that ever happened to him and that I am the most patient woman he ever met. And just last night he suddenly messaged me on whatsapp and then blocked me. When he does that, I would normally try to contact him through facebook or international sms or email or international call. But lastnight and today, I decided to just read a new pocketbook Ive been wanting to read. Will this make him feel I don’t like him anymore? Should I contact him or wait ‘til he contacts me? He has depression that’s why Im worried about him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2016 at 8:40 am

Hi Angel,

First,what do you really want to happen? Do you want to move in but make sure he’s okay or you want to still be with him but you want the cycle to stop?

rachel

February 26, 2016 at 9:29 pm

Hi, I’ve finished 30days no contact. He’s not contacted me and I’m still blocked on whatsapp etc. I thought I would call him out of the blue and say I passed his favourite restaurant as I can’t text him cos I think he’s also blocked me on there. What do you think I should do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2016 at 9:23 am

Hi Rachel,

I don’t think you can call him if you’re blocked in texting and also it’s better to wait until you’re unblocked in social media, and then once you knew you’re un blocked there, don’t message right ahead..because he may think you’re just waiting for him to unblock you and he may get annoyed .

Girl

February 26, 2016 at 6:24 pm

I’ve followed all of your advice to a T, which has taken a good amount of patience and work. It’s paying off slowly but surely! We had a phone call the other day that I had intended to only last for 5 minutes for the matter at hand, and then a while longer for a quick catch up, but when I tried to end the conversation to ‘leave him wanting more’, he pulled the classic starting a whole new conversation after I had started to say my goodbyes. We ended up on the phone for an hour, and while it was all positive, I feel like I messed up by not enforcing the end of the conversation better. I haven’t heard from him since, and while there’s a chance it’s because he’s been busy, is there also a chance he’s pulling away after that?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2016 at 8:36 am

Hi Girl,

if it was positive, I don’t think you messed it up..

Hillary

November 2, 2015 at 9:49 pm

I am so sore over a recent break up. I have never connected with a man like this before. He broke up with me because he said he was not ready for the next level. It has been over two months since we last spoke. I can’t stop thinking about him. I have been working on stabilizing my emotions and working on myself but I am shocked at how the pain of losing him is still present. I don’t want to have to get over him completely but I cannot bring myself to initiate contact. I am afraid if he blows me off it’ll rip me to shreads. I don’t want to let too much time pass before I reconnect with him because I believe there is a reason I still have this knot in my throat every time I think of him. If he doesn’t feel the same way then I’d rather brave the sadness until I’m finally over it. I can’t help but want to know if there is anything in the future left of us. Please help, I feel paralyzed by all the do’s and don’ts.
Jackie

October 25, 2015 at 4:32 pm

Hi Chris, I’m curious about your take on this. My ex and I broke up about 4 months ago. I’ve exercised iron restraint (I haven’t initiated any contact). There’s been very little exchange between us. He sent an apology text to which I responded briefly and civilly (“OK, thanks”), and about 2 weeks ago, he called me from his home phone but didn’t say anything. I did pick up, but only said ‘hello’. The phone call intrigues me – it’s more difficult to ‘butt-dial’ from a home phone. I did not call him because I feel that if he had something he wants to say, he will call again and speak, and the circumstances behind our break-up (his unwillingness to commit) suggest to me that I should stay strong.

My thoughts are that he could have been trying to bait me into contacting him, wanted me to think about him (mission accomplished!), was hoping to leave me a voicemail and lost his nerve to speak when I picked up, or maybe was trying to delete my number off of his speed dial and accidentally called instead. Any thoughts you might have from a man’s point of view would be appreciated. Thanks!
Mehnaz

October 18, 2015 at 6:56 pm

Hey i wanted to tell what if i brokeup with him? Which was a foolish idea 🙁 and now i want him back. We were in LDR for 3years. And brokeup one month ago but still we were talking as friends. I realized it was a huge mistake. I cried and told him everything to get back with me but nothing worked. He tells me to move on cz he moved on and never coming back cz he is interested in someone new now which is very shocking and hurtful for me.i made him call me but he tells me if he keeps Calling me i won’t be able to forget him. But i dont wanna forget him ever.What should i do?? Am doing the no contact rule now its so difficult.
Lala

October 6, 2015 at 4:10 pm

My bf broke up with me 2 days ago and we been together for 9 months, he says i not respectful and i don’t listen to him when he talks to me. He says i am an embarrassment when we go out, for example if we go somewhere and someone gets taken care of before us, ill show my display of unacceptance because we were in fact there first and he gets upset that i spoke how i felt. He broke up with me after a petty argument and says im too emotional and i don’t listen. I called and texted him at least 20 times saying i was sorry but no response i feel really hurt. Idk what to do or how to get him back.
Pihu

September 20, 2015 at 6:04 pm

Hey Chris!
I’ve become an admirer of your work and if I wasn’t smitten with my ex right now, I would have been in love with you! I literally rub my hands in excitement whenever the ‘good part’ of an article begins.
I had written my query in another post but it never got moderated. . so here is a gist:
My old boyfriend and I broke up around 3 years ago. No contact after the final goodbye. I had too big an ego and so I never called him. I tried to move and sadly got into a relationship with another man who wasn’t really great. Now, after two years of this not so good relationship, I break up with him and begin to wonder if my old boyfriend would like to meet me. I stumble upon your website, keep my ego aside and text him.
The moment he realizes its me, he calls and we chat for about half an hour, remembering the old times. Now, he asks me to meet him the very next day and I do. Everything was going perfect, he was smiling, touching and really listening when I mention my boyfriend (and not mention the breakup). Suddenly his smile fades and his eyes lose their shine. Oops! I think and the meeting ends abruptly !

He doesn’t call me after that. When I call him up and tell him that I had broken up with this guy, he doesn’t react at all.
He leaves town as he is working somewhere else and promises to meet me when he comes next time.

I text him in between and get a neutral response after hours. I then text again a few days later, he is friendly but not interested. So, I send him a stupid e mail telling him that he didn’t have to react in an ungentlemanly way (i don’t even know if its a word). And he replies that I can call him if I wanna mess up my life some more.

I didn’t get it, but I don’t ask him. Then he again sends a mail saying sorry for the previous one, it was some goof up and he didn’t send it ( ha ha )

But now, the question: Should I call him up again? or just wait for him to call me ?

I would really appreciate a reply or I would use the ‘blackmail’ tactic 😉

Chris Seiter

October 2, 2015 at 4:32 pm

Well, you want to know what I think.

I definitely think you moved too fast to the phone call.

niloo

September 20, 2015 at 11:37 am

so i guess im becoming a gnat here haha.posted so many comment all moderating and not posted or answered but i really need help. i went on 24 day no contact rule i text my ex trying to remind him some god memories he didnt answer texted him a day after again no answer.texted after two weeks again no answer i guess nothing works any more, plz help
Denise

September 6, 2015 at 11:12 pm

I am in the Facebook blocked category. I might have even made my way to the iPhone blocking as well. My goal is to make him eat his words of never wanting to get back together by making him come to me, then deciding when to take his call and when not too. He needs to jump and work for it because he didn’t want to in the beginning and now i will give him a reason to but it won’t come easy for him. Chris can you help?? I’m ready to get some grease on my elbows.