458 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Jealous (Based On Real Life Experiences)”

1. 

   Mary

   August 26, 2016 at 3:23 pm

   I was dating a guy and he broke up with me for summer. I did no contact and he contacted me during it and I didn’t respond. Then I reached out and we decided we shouldn’t talk because we are done and he didn’t want the same thing to happen as last time. But then end of summer he started talking to me again and says he has no expectations but loves talking to me and wants to keep talking to me and see where it goes. He misses me yada yada and face timed me and like reared up. I messed up and hooked up with him so I lost the upper hand but now I need to get it back. He texted me if I’m out (at 1:30!!) nooo.. And idk how to move forward.. How do I make him want ME and not think I’m wrapped around his finger.. So what do I do about the text do I ignore it? And what do I do moving on from here?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 30, 2016 at 9:33 am

   Hi Mary,

   so you’re not ldr right? Have your own life.. are you still talking now?

2. 

   kimia

   July 6, 2016 at 3:21 pm

   hi dear chris and EXB team,
   thanks for jealousy advices,you told all about how to make a guy jealous and the effects on him but i think you never told us anything about how a man’s mind works when he is trying to make her ex gf jealous during no contac period and the way to overcome his behavior, so I want to ask u a favor to tell us about this mystrious behavior of them

1. 

   kimia

   July 14, 2016 at 6:53 am

   I did ignore him,you know i decided to have no contact longer than 30days, because i think i was becoming clingy before breakup,I believe we needed more space,but now that he is acting crazy like this which i know him and i know he is not in love but he is acting like he is with a girl(an instagaram relationship), with a same name as mine. but can u tell by exprience after ignoring him for this mind games that he is playing, how long would it take for him to make a straight contact,i miss him so much :(((

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 14, 2016 at 7:51 pm

   oh I meant ignore his actions on trying to make you jealous.. don’t react to it, don’t bring it up to him..there’s no set time on how long he will do this but you have to influence it in a way that you continue the new lifestyle you started during nc to really show that you’ve changed and not just doing this things to get him nor compete on who moves on better

3. 

   kimia

   July 7, 2016 at 6:00 am

   sry I meant “how a man’s mind works when he is trying to make HIS ex gf jealous during no contac period”

4. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 7, 2016 at 2:33 pm

   Hi Kimia,
   Basically you just ignore it because his purpose is to get you to react to it and
   Try this one:
   The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule

3. 

   Sophie

   June 21, 2016 at 6:50 pm

   My boyfriend and I were dating for almost a year and a half. We started in high school. He started hanging out with a friend of his who I wasn’t really fond of. They went on a trip to see their friends at college. My boyfriend did stuff down there I wasn’t happy about. (Drinking and girls). We broke up in February and haven’t dated up to about a couple weeks ago. Once this friend of his left for the services, he asked me out because he would be lonely. Well he didn’t, and still doesn’t understand that I grew up with guys, I’ve always had more guy friends then girlfriends. And he never could wrap his head around it. Of course it never got in the way of us dating either. So recently we got into a really nasty fight and he kept emailing me (He was blocked on text messaging) trying to win me back asking to meet and things like that. I said sure I’d meet up just one time. It wasn’t really smart. He told me the other day when we got in a fight I was too young to do anything. I was 15 when we started dating. He has been constantly playing with my heart and I don’t know what to do. He goes out drinking and smoking cigars with his friends and that’s one thing we fight about. He hasn’t really talked to me because I told him to stop thinking he’d fight for me; which he didn’t. What should I do? Should I use your tips on jealousy or move on completely? He was my first love and it is really hard trying to get over him.

1. 

   Sophie

   June 22, 2016 at 11:44 pm

   I don’t want to move on just yet actually. I want him back.

2. 

   Sophie

   June 22, 2016 at 11:59 am

   I think I want to move on. But while I’m working on that (just started the 30 day no contact rule) seeing if he comes back. But ultimately , move on.

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 22, 2016 at 7:53 am

   Hi Sophie,

   so, do you want him backnor you want to move on?

4. 

   Dale

   June 15, 2016 at 3:16 pm

   Really?? I’m sorry but if an ex of mine ever tried jealousy as a technique to get me back, her plan would be a colossal fail! Whenever a break up occurs, both parties are hurting. This jealousy plan is just more mind games and control in relationships. If an ex of mine tried this with me, I would be even more hurt and she would end up driving me even further away. After all, why would I want to hang around in order to experience more hurt? And while I acknowledge the necessity of a period of no contact in order to allow feelings to subside, I still feel that open and honest communication is best because at least both of you will know where you stand with one another and both of you can see whether or not the relationship can be rekindled and revived. Just sayin’!

1. 

   Moi

   September 16, 2016 at 6:06 am

   Thank you! Quit playing with people’s heads. Just MOVE ON!

5. 

   Introverted

   June 8, 2016 at 9:35 pm

   My ex and I broke up two months ago. I have done the NC for a total of 31 days since it happened. After NC, I asked him if we could be friends and he agreed. I called him the same evening and we caught up on our lives. Before I ended the call, he told me he missed me. We’ve been talking for a month now, and just recently started talking like we used to, until he just stopped talking to me all of a sudden. Two days ago, I’ve hung out with two guy friends at a mall I used to go to with my ex and one of them recorded a funny video of me in a conversation with one of the guys. I posted it on Instagram for the laughs, and for the first time in a while, I’ve never gotten so many views over one video over a short amount of time. He has ignored a message I sent two days ago, so I’ve let him be since. We talk on Snap Chat and occasionally Facebook Messenger. It hit me that maybe his friends that I follow and him included saw the video that same day. He still looks at my Snap stories, but he won’t talk to me. I want to know if this is his sign of jealousy?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 15, 2016 at 9:36 am

   Hi Introverted..,

   yeah it can be

6. 

   Georgina

   May 24, 2016 at 9:44 am

   Hello Amor,

   I have been trying to get my ex back for 6 months using the pro system. I got to the point where we were spending time together and he said he wanted me back but isn’t sure it’s a good idea and doesn’t want a relationship right now but sees a future with me. I continued to date others but very subtly to try and make him commit and see my value, he found out and said he couldn’t handle seeing me when I am seeing other people. He then messaged me to say he has also been on dates but doesn’t know why because he knows he doesn’t want a relationship right now. He has now said he needs space because he knows he can’t be in a relationship right now and when he sees me it is torturing him because it makes him want me and he says whenever he sees thing on facebook, his mum asks about me or I text him it is torturing him and he has a mental battle in his head. Even though he said he needs space he has said not for too long and he would like a coffee soon. I have done everything I can to this point, texting and showing my value, he tells me that I am perfect and wife material, so my view is if he wants me he will make it happen, if anything I am being too available to him and am going to wait for him to contact me now and keep moving on. I am treating this space like no contact so was going to continue to show how great I am on social media and also do subtle jealousy, but I am worried this may be wrong in this situation. If all of that is making him emotional, do I need him to heel more from the break up to come back to me? Or do I want to keep making him emotional? Also if my jealousy tactics made him say he can’t see me whilst I am seeing others, is this a negative or positive response? Should I continue to show that guys are paying me attention? Look forward to hearing from you!

1. 

   Georgina

   May 27, 2016 at 9:46 am

   Hi Amor,

   Thank you for replying to my comment! Okay, thank you, I will do. Do you mean what I am doing to maintain myself? So I want to still keep present on social media so he sees my value that way. I think it is just fear. He told me he is happy at the moment and just doesn’t want anything to change, but has also told his friends his sees us back together and told me I would be a perfect wife. We moved in together, turned out he wasn’t ready but had moved in because he was worried he would lose me if we didn’t move forward after 4 years together. Then he left, came back after a month of NC contact but wasn’t sure what he wanted and didn’t want to hurt me. I think overall he is just scared. He messaged me the other day saying he can’t see me because when he does he wants to be with me and is worried he will make a decision that he is not ready for at this point in his life. I just don’t know what it means. It was honestly the longest text he sent and within he said all these things and about wanting a coffee soon, sometimes saying as friends and also saying we just need this time apart at the moment. should I accept his friendship and work from there? I replied saying I understood and if needed time he should take take it and a coffee would be nice when he is ready at a pace he is comfortable with.

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 30, 2016 at 5:41 am

   yeah, I think you should take up bing friends with him and then take it slow.. maybr he loves you but he’s just not ready for a marriage level kind of relationship

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 27, 2016 at 6:44 am

   Hi Georgina

   I think you need to lay low on dating others but continue to do what you are doing to maintain himself. Do you have an idea what’s holding him back?

7. 

   Tracy

   May 13, 2016 at 5:00 pm

   Hi,

   The article is quite good.
   Me and my ex boyfriend are colleagues. We had been having issues for a long time. I always felt unwanted all throughout the entire 10 months that we were together. Every time i expressed it, it turned into a fight because every time i expressed myself, he would use that opportunity to bring up something he dislikes about me and it would eventually turn into a blame game and we would trace back to about 4-5 fights.
   After every fight he would stop talking to me.
   So finally one day i could not take it anymore and i broke up with him.

   Inspite of being in the same team we managed to have a complete no contact for about 1 and a half months.
   During that time we didnt speak to each other, no tests, no social media.
   After that i called him once to tell him that people are noticing it and we should at least be cordial.
   He agreed to it and now we speak a little, only when required, during office hours.
   One thing i know about him is that he has a very high self esteem and way too much ego.
   I did try to remind him of the good times, by may be talking about a trip we went to with our colleagues,
   or humming a song of a movie we liked and watched together.
   Also i look happy around him.
   But since his ego is too high i don’t know what more to do and what next to do
   All i want it that he tells me he didnt treat me right.
   May be that can bring some closure.
   I am ok not having him back. But i am not ok for not being appreciated for all the efforts i made to made it work.
   He was great before the relationship. Always wanting to talk tot me and wanted to meet me.
   After relationship he took me for granted completely.
   Never called on his own, never took me out unless i pestered him to go on a date.
   sometimes yes, he would be nice to me and text me or call me to his place.
   But very rare.

   Now i need him to realize.
   Any suggestions might help.
   Thanks

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 15, 2016 at 5:56 am

   Hi Tracy,

   actually if you really want him to realize that, move on from getting his validation and start to move on to your own life.. because we can’t control others, we can only control ourselves.. it’s better if you just focus your energy on your growth, instead of getting his opinion because you’re the only one thinking about that, while he’s already moved on and doesn’t even think about what he did.. let it go and let him be.. his opinion is only one thing, your decision relies on you, not on what he says, so take back that power by letting his opinion go.

8. 

   Ashley

   May 7, 2016 at 12:20 pm

   My ex-boyfriend and I of six months broke up yesterday due to him cheating on me and lying about it the whole time. The girl he was cheating with didn’t know i was his girlfriend because he told her that I was his ex. I broke up with him and then he kept trying to talk to me….what should I do?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 9, 2016 at 1:34 am

   Hi Ashley,

   Are you in active no contact? If not you should start it and read this blog post.
   EBR 039: Dealing With An Ex Boyfriend Who Cheats

9. 

   sarah

   May 7, 2016 at 11:45 am

   Hello dear Chris ,you have helped me so much during my breakup, i used the no contact rule after my ex dumped me admitting he has no feeling for me anymore .after one exact month of no contact rule i unblocked him on whats-app ,he started messaging me straight away he said he misses me a lot and he felt my love during this absence thus he wants us back together , he also showed his jealousy though he is not been the jealous kind of men ,whenever he sees me online on whats-app he keeps asking me who are talking to ,are you seeing someone else, how could you move on like i don`t matter to you . i keep my answers short ,i tell him it is none of his business i can talk to whoever i want.Now i need your help again chris ,how to make my ex suffer before he gains me back i want to be a challenge for him , i don`t want him to see me a game which he can play with whenever he feels, how can i remain in control. btw we are in distance relationship for nearly 2 year .thank you so much once again for your help

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 9, 2016 at 1:30 am

   Hi Sarah,

   I think suffer is a strong word.. I think you mean you want him to prove he really values you?
   Actually it’s just the basics with texting and calling.. by ending the convo in high point politely, you would leave him wanting more and work for you more..
   when he sees you’ve been continuing to maintain yourself and improving yourself, he would be attracted to you more..
   and then when he asks to get back with you, that’s when you say you’re not ready because you’re not confident in him yet..

   and when you get back together, know your priorities. Set a balance between him and your personal life.. Remember balance, don’t over do being independent.. keep him being attracted to you by keeping your personal life productive.

10. 

    Rachel

    April 15, 2016 at 2:54 pm

    Long story short my ex and I have been communicating every day for about a month now. Last night he saw a picture of me and a guy friend at the bar (just sitting side by side, nothing sexual at all) and my ex texted me saying how f’d up it is that I’m out with other guys. I told him the picture wasn’t intentional and that the guy is just a friend. He just kind of stopped responding. I know he’s still upset because he usually messages me first thing in the morning and I haven’t heard from him yet. I’m not exactly sure if I should try to reach out to him and talk about things or let me come to me or just ignore it all together…

1. 

   Rachel

   April 18, 2016 at 3:43 pm

   Amor,
   We are long distance which complicates things but we had a long talk the other night and agreed it’s best that we part ways. He has shown some true colors during this breakup and I can honestly do a lot better. I’m just glad I finally got some closure. Thank you for all your support.

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   April 18, 2016 at 5:56 pm

   You’re welcome!

3. 

   Rachel

   April 15, 2016 at 8:41 pm

   Update he blocked me from everything he is that upset

4. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   April 18, 2016 at 3:58 am

   Hi Rachel,

   are you still blocked? Just let him be.. you’re not doing anything wrong.. during last month are you calling and seeing each other too?

11. 

    Soumyaa

    April 10, 2016 at 12:33 pm

    Hey can i please have your email so that i can tell my problem over mail.. can you please mail me

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   April 11, 2016 at 5:30 am

   Hi Soumaya,

   you can email at [email protected]

12. 

    RGD

    March 27, 2016 at 3:49 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me right after Christmas 2015 after about 1year and 8 months. We had a really bad argument and I said some hurtful things and so did he. We were so in love but I think we began to drift apart about six months prior. Apparently he immediately started seeing someone else. I found out who she is on FB but he does not know. We had been doing some jealous posting on FB. We began communicating again. I have been less argumentative and listening to him more. We have been running no together again as well. He tells me that he still loves me and wants to get back together. And that he made a mistake breaking up to begin with and only jumped right into something else because his feelings were hurt. I think he is trying to figure out how get out the situation but it feels like he does not want to hurt the other girl either. He is about to go out of the country for about 4 months. Please help! Is there any hope for us at this point? And is there any hope for us to get back together?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   April 3, 2016 at 3:48 am

   HI RGD,

   if the other girl is still present, it’s better to keep your distance because if he sees you’re okay with it. He might end up not having to choose at all and keep both of you

13. 

    Elanna

    March 22, 2016 at 11:32 pm

    Recently my boyfriend of six months came clean to me about cheating on me. He was very genuine the whole time and did say that the cheating was an extremely drunken hook up (basically blackout) and he thought he could just leave it be and move past it, but it started to eat him alive when he found out my sister had gotten cheated on. So, many people have the opinion that cheating is cheating and is unforgivable, however now after talking to him I see he genuinely is hurt because he cried to me saying he missed his bestfriend, and he could not throw away our time together. I simply asked why he did not fight for me then, and he said that he couldn’t because he’s fighting with himself for hurting the one thing he cared about most in the entire world. Yesterday we talked face to face, and discussed taking time apart to just be friends and maybe work back to how we were and he said he didn’t want me to stop living life and wait because we can’t guarantee anything. All is fair, so I knew he had started to talk to other girls and I did the same by testing the waters with other guys. I still love my ex and want to be with him but I think he’s conflicted with his feelings. He says he still loves me but in a way it has changed because when he looks at me he sees all the hurt he has caused me and the mistake he made and he doesn’t know if he can forgive himself. However, after agreeing to be friends, he found out other guys had been approaching me and he continued to get jealous and started yelling and saying mean things to me out of anger, saying I didn’t consider his feelings. I would like to be with him again at some point as crazy as that sounds, and want to give the NC method a try. Do you think that it would really work in this case?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   March 31, 2016 at 1:23 pm

   Hi Elanna,

   I think you should tell him that you’ve forgiven him about his mistake and that you understand and that he should forgive himself too

14. 

    Sami

    March 19, 2016 at 2:33 pm

    My boyfriend and I were together for a year and a half. It wasn’t the easiest relationship, we fought quite a bit due to his drinking and I have a habit of trying to make him jealous so I feel wanted. I know it’s terrible and I’m trying to stop. He got drunk and left me a month ago. I begged and pleaded and then decided to go nc. It worked because a week later he started messaging me telling me he made a stupid drunken mistake again and that this isn’t what he wanted. He started showing up to my house every night and it felt good to feel wanted. So knowing I finally had that control I ran with it. I said things for the sole purpose of just trying to make him jealous and I took it one step too far and he snapped. He told me he’s done and that he doesn’t want to be with someone like that and that he feels like he has to stay because of how upset I get and how I beg him to stay. Said he wanted me until I said all those things. I told him I liked having the control for once, since I never have, and that everything I said wasn’t true and just to get him jealous but it didn’t matter. What have I done? How could I be so stupid? I was so close to having him back and I blew it.

1. 

   Sami

   March 21, 2016 at 1:26 am

   He actually just left, we talked but nothing got resolved. He said he wouldn’t want to hurt me again like this so he thinks it’s better to just stay away because he’s better on his own 🙁

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   March 20, 2016 at 7:15 am

   Hi Sami,

   how is it now? have you talked again?

15. 

    tanvi

    March 16, 2016 at 4:12 pm

    hi…my relation was for 1year 4 months…aftr 1 year he started behaving wierd with mi..saying mi tht u r boring ..evrytym u hit mi n blah blah blah…i said srry 2 him aftr tht…bt as exams wer on head.he strtd ignoring mi ..we did too many fights bt aftr we wer together…n frm tht day he dsnt msg mi or rply mi .n i too did mistake of saying his mistakes to his mom ….thn he did brkup wit mi…n now m not chating wit him..n he blocked mi….he is saying his frnds tht m i in relationship wit other or not..soo will he come back aftr ur NC rules…….i really need him soo muchh….it makes mi cry avry night thnkng abt him…plzz giv sme idea…

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   March 17, 2016 at 12:08 am

   Hi Tanvi,

   Nc can’t guarantee that.. It can make the chances increase but we can’t assure that you will get him back just because of that… But with your situation, there’s no other option too but to do nc.. I’m sorry to say this but you have become clingy and needy.

   You need to be on your own so you can learn to love yourself too and so that when you get into a relationship again or get back with him, it would be because it’s a choice and not a need..

16. 

    noreen

    March 13, 2016 at 3:27 pm

    Is spacing good to renew a relationship?does it really work?

17. 

    anon

    February 28, 2016 at 10:47 am

    My ex reacted bad to my jealousy text. I said to him if he was him the guy in a certain place the day before that I had seen and that he looked good. He said to me that the guy was so good that he wasn’t him and that he was at home the day before. What I have to do?

1. 

   anon

   February 29, 2016 at 8:41 am

   he said that this gui was so good that he wasn’t him and he was at home the day before and I answered that I was in a hurry and that I was wrong

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   March 1, 2016 at 9:44 am

   I think that’s a good answer..Hmm.. try again a first contact text.. aftr 3-4 days..

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 28, 2016 at 3:44 pm

   Hi Anon,

   is that his exact text? What did you reply?

18. 

    Sara

    February 27, 2016 at 1:44 am

    I have a couple quick questions. My boyfriend dumped me two weeks ago and I have not had any contact with him, but I work with his mom and she and I last talked about him three nights ago (I don’t know if she repeated anything to him or not). Do you think I should start the no contact rule as of three nights ago in case he heard that I am still upset? I haven’t talked to her since and am not going to talk about him with her anymore. Also, not that I think this is going to happen, but what if he contacts me before the NC period is up? Do I ignore him?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 27, 2016 at 11:17 am

   Hi Sara,

   Well, it doesn’t matter now if you started threr daus ago or not.. If yiu want to start today.. go ahead..and yes, don’t reply to him

19. 

    Ciara

    February 3, 2016 at 8:20 pm

    Chris,

    Been reading your advice since day 1 of the of a two year relationship break up 3 months ago. Thank-you!

    Implemented a month no contact rule after two weeks of break up. He tried calling a few times during this. Starting making a good amount of repour with ex following on from this. Last week we had to see each other and ended up having a really fun time together and hooking up a few times, we both enjoyed our time together and I can tell he misses me, as I do him. We haven’t spoken about what happened and I’m not sure how he feels but I’d really appreciate how you think I should move on from here? He won’t unblock me from Fb as he can’t deal with it but I get the impression he doesn’t want to take anything further relationship wise. I’m very confused.

    I’ve been dating other people and I am surprisingly in a happy place. Our chemistry is something else though and being with him feels so right but I don’t want to make bad decisions and not sure how to act now.

    Kind regards

20. 

    EBR Team Member: Amor

    February 2, 2016 at 12:06 pm

    Hi Priya,

    Why do you always asked him? Do you feel he’s changing or you’re afraid that he’s going to?