5 Powerful Methods To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Losing You

1,759 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go”

Hannah

October 24, 2015 at 10:16 am

Hi Chris,

I was having problems in my relationship for a few months & I told my boyfriend that things were not working to which he agreed. I told him that if we were to break up that I needed no contact for the seeable future. He wouldn’t allow no contact, held on to my belongings & told me that he wanted to take things slow but he was always very vague. Fast forward almost one year later, he has met someone but I don’t think it’s serious at least not yet. I flipped out and send about 100 messages explaining that I was hurt that he had lied to me & we have not spoken since. Is all hope lost?
lola

October 24, 2015 at 5:05 am

i feel like its so hard to not answer him, would it make a difference if a block him for the 30 days? or it would be better not blocking him and him writing to me and im not answering? because if i block him then i wont receive nothing and would be disappeared in other words, we broke up already like 6 months ago but he keeps writing to me and we kept on and off.. i can’t do this anymore, but he is totally used to me begging and writing to him!
SImran

October 21, 2015 at 11:58 am

i am starting the no contact rule. but what if his frnds or my frnds ask me abt him or what if our friends want to make us get back together. he doesnt want to let go of his ego n thatsy we broke up coz he was insulting me everywhere out of his ego.. afterwards he used to come back to me for apologising

Chris Seiter

October 22, 2015 at 12:33 am

What was the cause of the break up?

Ava

October 21, 2015 at 5:01 am

Hey Chris,

3 weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me because of his family – religious differences has caused them to pretty much hate me and for a while he was fighting his family until one night he cracked and we were done. I was shocked because i didn’t see it coming so when it happened i panicked and was a mess. He cut me out of his life completely – i was unable to reach him. So one night i got into contact with his cousin and he saw the state i was in and he ended getting him to talk to me. We talked he still kept his stand saying he can’t stand to see his family hurting anymore and that he doesn’t care about his happiness anymore. So he took a week to think about things and there was a few people talking to him giving him advice etc. many people were against us so he started to get influenced by what they were saying about me. 8 days later my best friend was able to get through to him and he agreed to meet me and talk things out – we ended up getting back together but he still wanted some space so instead of messaging we would only email at night. Naturally that didn’t stay like that for long so we would email each other during the day and i started to expect to hear from him often.. However that wasn’t what he wanted and so he ended up breaking it off again 3 nights ago saying he doesn’t want to keep lying to his family and he feels like he is if he still sees me, then he brought stuff about how he was feeling suffocated in our relationship sometimes but he never spoke up so i got mad because if he spoke up i would have changed it and now i felt like its my fault because i could have done things differently had i known how he felt. When we were parting ways he said he still loves me and he always will .. we had an amazing relationship from day one.. we had our standard fights but nothing that ever came close to breaking us.. I feel like this decision he made was mostly for his family and we just have too many people against us… he even told me that it doesn’t feel like we were saying ‘goodbye’ and that it felt like it was more “see you again”.. He said he still thinks we will end up together one day but right now he wants all the drama to stop… I havent contacted him since we parted ways – well he sent a message to my bestfriend a little poem about how sometimes some people enter your life but arnt meant to stay in it – he thought it might help me get through if i was in a really bad state, and i replied pretty much saying that he shouldn’t worry about me now since we are over, and to take the time he needs to have and do what he thinks he was deprived of and then see if it was worth what we had. I told him i wish he spoke out during our relationship about the things that bothered him because i would have fixed what i was wrong in. I told him to take time and think things through but i also said that I will not wait around forever. Then i told him that i dont need him to reply to that so he never did.. I know he loves me and i love him just as much. He agreed if it wasnt for his family he wouldnt have broken it off… So now i don’t know what to do.. What chances do i have. How long am i suppose to not talk to him.. will he reach out to me first. He’s smart about the way he’s going about things because he’s surrounding himself with alot of friends and family. He usually gets distracted so i feel like the wight of his decision hasn’t hit him yet.. He told one of his friends that he feels relieved with his decision but he thinks he will regret it later. Any advice?

Ava

October 23, 2015 at 1:52 am

Not officially. We were saving up together to get a place of our own. We were hoping to sort out the family issues before hand. His intention was to always stay with me regardless of what happens. Then out of the blue he cracked from all the family pressure.. Now i’m lost and confused and unsure whether he will regret his decision?
Ava

October 21, 2015 at 12:03 pm

Oh and we’ve been together for almost 2 years.. We were pretty sure we wanted to get married to each other.. so it was very serious..
Chris Seiter

October 22, 2015 at 12:46 am

Did he propose to you?
Chris Seiter

October 22, 2015 at 12:34 am

Did you make any plans to get married or just talked about it? Did he ever propose?

Jordan

October 20, 2015 at 1:08 am

Hello, ex and I dated for 2 years. We moved in together last year around this time. A month ago we started to really fight mostly about our insecurities well he moved out and sudden and took our only vehicle under the agreement he would pay this months rent. 3 weeks went by and he did not follow up on his agreement. So I took the vehicle back. Of course we fought and it was nasty. I told him he could have it back if he put I surance and paid rent he got stubborn and declines. I guess he lost his job. Which to me like I had to do the would have found a way to work, I did. I have part guardianship of his brother I told him if he gave me court papers I would remove guardianship so he could do what he needed to. He told me he didn’t trust me with papers so it never got done and now he blames me for problems recording with that. Which I am assuming is money. Since he has left I get weak I contact him desperately apologize tell him how much I want him I love him and he responds things will be okay and he will say sweet things and then something happens I;e guardianship money denied and he tells me he hates me he sick of me just everything and then we don’t talk and then the cycle repeats I text saying same thing gs he responds its good for few days and then back to crap. I tell him I’m trying now to make things better and I ask him if he doesn’t see a future if he wants me to stop or if he is completly done just tell me but he never does. So I’m confused and just in pain. Idk what to do. II I know by being the one to make contact which I always I’m and I know I sound desperate it just makes it worse. How to I get this back on track how do I make him realize if it is ment to be that he does want to be together. Why should I do?

Ava

October 21, 2015 at 10:31 am

Oh and we’ve been together for almost 2 years.. We were pretty sure we wanted to get married to each other.. so it was very serious..

Lara

October 19, 2015 at 10:11 pm

Hi Chris
I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years and for the last few months I have been really worried about him. You see he has recently changed jobs and his stress levels seem to have gone throught the roof. Since he joined the new company he has been moody, tired all the time and really snappy. Tbh I think he’s suffering from depression.
Anyway I asked him what was wrong and he said he’s unhappy and he’s not sure if it’shis job, us or a mix of the two and said he needed space to think things through so I left to stay with a family member. I have since moved all my things out of his house and did not hear from him for 2 weeks. I txt and phoned him a couple of times after the split but nothings. I just don’t understand it all as we even went house hunting and engagement ring shopping a few months back? Anyway I started the no contact rule and on day 13 (yesterday) he txt saying he was sorry for messing everything up and treating me so badly. It would have taken alot of courage for him to txt me as he has very low confidence so I just wondered if I should txt him back or wait the 30 days?
Thanks 🙂
Colette

October 18, 2015 at 7:35 am

Chris,

Me and my on again off again boyfriend of 15 years recently broke up. He holds grudges from arguments and break ups in the past and he brings it into the new relationship every time. He’s admitted that there are things that happened that he will never be able to forget. We have a child together so my question is, how would the NC rule work for me if we absolutely have to be in contact?

Chris Seiter

October 18, 2015 at 11:37 pm

15 years… WHOA.

And no ring?

I definitely think it can work you are just going to have to alter the NC.

Arielle Sterling

October 16, 2015 at 11:43 pm

Hi chris, me and my ex broke up in september and we were going out for 1 year and 8 months almost 9 but i figured he broke up with me on the 9th month so it wouldnt count. So me and him were good before he said he loved me and then when we broke up he said he didnt love me anymore. Then i kept messaging him and messaging him which was my mistake so then i stopped and then after a month of not talking to him, i went to his place and brought back something that was his and then we started catching up and we started texting, after a few days he started being an asshole then i went to get something i forgot at his place today and he started wanting me back and i wouldnt let him do anything cause i knew he didnt want me for me he just wanted to use me again like he did only for sex. Then he told me to get out and then when i left he blocked me on fb. What should i do .

Chris Seiter

October 17, 2015 at 12:13 am

Sorry to hear that happened like that. You shouldn’t use the excuse of getting or giving back personal items in the plan of trying to get your ex back mainly because of what happened to you. You need him to want to take you out on dates and its so easy for him to pull a fast one if you are coming to his house. Start over with no contact and try again.

Star

October 16, 2015 at 6:39 pm

HELP!!!!!!!!!!
Hello Chris, My name is Star i am 21 years old and my ex-boyfriend is 21 years old. We started dating summer 2010 and he broke up with me August 7 2015. I noticed that he was becoming distant and one Friday night he texted me that he “didn’t feel the same way about me anymore”. We met up and we talked about it….i cried and tried to make him stay with me. and he told me to move on, that we both needed to start over…and that he wanted to be alone. and he said “don’t wait for me cause i wont be back..i need a lot of time…go out with someone else” “leave me alone’
All weekend i stayed away from him…i did text once or twice and then Sunday Night he called me…we didn’t talk much because he fell asleep. The next morning like always i had to see him(we work together) but i kept my cool. i wouldn’t look at him and i would act like i was okay…but i was falling apart. For 3 weeks he completely ignored me…no texts no calls. and a few times at work i would try to hug him and he would just push me away. one day i told him “i miss you” and i grabbed his hand. and all he said was “you are making this harder” .Then one weekend he texted me ..and i ignored him…Sunday he called me at 3 pm…i didn’t answer. then again at night and i didn’t answer. The next day at work he grabbed me and kissed me and i pushed him back and i just looked at him. He started texting me and calling me at night…. One day i finally asked him” what do you want from me” “you are getting my hopes up” all he said is “I don’t know”, He still calls me…texts me daily but it seems like he has been going out.(from what i heard from his relatives) they still contact me .
I was doing just fine now i miss him and i have hope of me and him getting back together….
i don’t know what to do.
Honestly i do want him back…but i don’t think he wants me back..he just misses me and doesn’t want me with anyone else….but i feel like i cant move on with him still around…i don’t want to move on cause i really do care and like him. Weekday he is great to me…Saturdays he ignores me completely(i assume he is too busy having fun)…and Sunday he starts texting me again.

i was so used to him..
Every Friday Night he would show up at my house with Food…and every Saturday we would go on a Date…and Sundays Church…Then he would spend the rest of the day together. He was the one that started to build that habit… at first i would try to find some excuse to not spend so much time together…but then it became a habit.
i miss him….. but he is just confusing me and giving me hope.
What should i do???
What can i do to make him come back to me and make it official?
or make him leave me alone?
Scorpio

October 14, 2015 at 10:36 am

Hi Chris,

My boyfriend of 14 months and I broke up a month ago. I started NC, he tried a couple times calling and texting, I ignored him. On day 23, he called me from a different number and I answered it as I didn’t know it was him. We got back but had a big fight only after a week. Before we had twice NC experience ( once due to him talking to an other girl on phone but never met), each time he either showed up at my door or his family members had car accident to force me stopped NC, neither of them lasted longer than 14 days.

So 2 days ago we broke up again, he was beyond angry, I have to admit it was my fault to cause the fight. I cried but he insisted he didn’t want to be with me anymore, there was no way he could have a relationship with me, he said he made a mistake to get me back a week ago. However the next day I apologized and he changed his mind, he took me back but was still very angry and cold. We talked on the phone last night and he said he didn’t want to talk, he had nothing to talk to me. But he promised we would talk later, he asked me not to worry, just let things go down, he isn’t going anywhere, he needs time to forget about the drama a little bit. We were madly in love but the last few months was rocky, many things have happened and we were non stop on NC and made up. I feel that this time he may really lost patience, our relationship won’t be the same as before. Is NC still usuful for a situation like that?

Scorpio

October 16, 2015 at 2:35 am

Hi Chris, thank you for the reply. Yes, they were all fights spin out of control, but there was once he was flirting with a girl online, I checked his phone and found out, I left without fighting at all. However 2 weeks later he went crazy sending me text messages, emails, I was afraid he would do something stupid, so I stopped NC and took him back. Should I still do NC 30 days or more this time? Thank you.
Chris Seiter

October 16, 2015 at 2:17 am

What is causing these breakups?

Are they just fights that spin out of control?

Alicia

October 12, 2015 at 8:30 pm

How can I implement the no contact rule if I work with my ex? We are actually in the same department and I have to work alongside him everyday. I really want to start doing things right but my situation with him is and always has been complicated.
Katie

October 12, 2015 at 3:44 pm

Hi, my boyfriend recently broke up with me after 4 months because he said he had lost the ‘excitement’. He recently got a promotion and has training until late twice a week.. I have noticed he has been extremely tired and drained lately and we haven’t been doing fun things/going out togethe as much.. Seeing each other just became a routine. He used to be so loving and full of life, always saying I would be included in his future and he is the happiest he’s been. He has suddenly turned so cold, not just to me but he isn’t talking properly with his friends either. Mutual friends have also noticed the change in him and it’s not good. He has always been so caring and affectionate but after the breakup he’s just turned cold.. I initially text him and he was being really blunt and then stopped answering.. I’ve decided to start the no contact rule which is tough as I just want to be there for him and know he’s ok, is there any chance for us? I know he has been under a lot of stress lately but nobody really expected the break up, especially me.. Thanks
Alex

October 11, 2015 at 8:36 pm

Hi Chris,

I have 3 questions:
1. My ex is my roommate. How do I go about implementing the NC rule if I want to keep my living situation cordial?
2. At what rate per day do you start building up the texts?
3. Although my ex and I were GREAT together and there were no problems with the relationship itself, we broke up because he’d developed feelings for another girl. Is it me that was the problem or was he not ready to commit?

Alex

October 16, 2015 at 7:10 am

Hard to say, as they are a bit mis-matched on things like religion and pre-marital sex.
What do I do if it’s serious?
Alex

October 14, 2015 at 5:21 am

Ok. How do we alter it a bit?

Good job at leaving me hanging, BTW.
Chris Seiter

October 16, 2015 at 2:12 am

I wish I was trying to leave you hanging haha.

This is the result of being spread too thing haha.

I would start by figuring out how serious they are.
Alex

October 13, 2015 at 8:26 am

Thanks for responding 🙂
As for your question, I’m not sure. I suspect they already are and are being discreet for my sake or will get together soon.
Chris Seiter

October 14, 2015 at 1:06 am

No problem,

Ok, so if he is with her that means we have to kind of alter what you are going to do to get him back and sometimes that means you won’t get him back for a while. Just preparing you.
Chris Seiter

October 13, 2015 at 12:08 am

I would check out this article,

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-handle-every-situation-during-the-no-contact-rule/

I cover #2 in The Texting Bible and am writing an article on it.

Is he currently with the girl?

Sam

October 10, 2015 at 11:15 pm

Very long my story short. “Dated” a guy for 4 months, he has commitment issues due to his mother being an alcoholic. He broke up with me and couldn’t give any reasons other than he just had a gut feeling it wouldn’t work out, and then stated it would “never”. We are both very serious seniors in College going for grad school next. And I think this my just be a bad time for him to have a serious relationship so idj if there is a point to try right now. But I don’t want to eliminate the option if he wants it in the future. Everything was insanely great. He shared how deep he felt about us much more than I did. So I’m confused. I think he is scared. He said before 4 days into no contact he messages me saying he never wanted things to end the way they did, that he gets the idea I don’t want any part of him in my life. That I’m a one in a million person and he didn’t want to be wiped from my life. But that isn’t a privaledge he expects to get anymore. Sorry goodbye! I am now 20 days into no contact. I genuinely believe we are soul mates. I feel so strongly about us that I just feel like he would have to come crawling back if he is meant to be. Do you understand what his last message decodes to and do you think I still should be the one to initiate or will he drop his pride and come back regardless if he wants to? We compliment each other and I whole heartedly think he is the one, I thought it since the moment I met him. I have purchased your ebook and am definitely not a Sara. I just don’t know if I want to risk being rejected again. I feel like I lost my soul mate and my whole life is going up in smoke. Any advice? Thank you!
Pat

October 8, 2015 at 9:31 am

My boyfriend ended it with me and he owns a mechanic shop and is a mechanic there. he has my car at his shop that he was going to fix and agreed to still fix after the break up. How can I communicate with him at some point and ask if my car is fixed. I would like to know what I can say and do to make it similar to the no contact rule?
Pat

October 8, 2015 at 9:23 am

We broke up but he owns a mechanic shop he has my car he was going to fix for me and agreed to still do so. What can i do about the no contact rule and what should I say?
Pumpkin

October 7, 2015 at 3:27 pm

Hi Chris,

My current situation is a bit of a pickle and I was wondering of you had any advice.

I started dating a guy 6 months ago who had recently (3 months before) come out of an on/off relationship (4 years, breaking up 3 times).

Everythng was great, we talked everyday and he told me how i was everything he had ever wanted, I was his futute etc. Well after 4 months we moved in together and everything was perfect. About a month into living together his ex started messaging him, I found out and he deleted her number and blocked her on everything. Well a month later she messaged him again and they started talking. I found out again and he told me he wanted to carry on talking to her and that they were just friends. Well about a week later after loads of on/off conversations and space, he ended things with me saying he didnt think our relationship would work with me knowing he has feelings for his ex.

I understood what he meant and respected his decision, no matter how hard I found it.

However it isnt a clear break up. I am 8 weeks pregnant and he know. This time of him ending things for her came a couple of weeks after he found out.

My question is, does he actually wanna be with his ex (they have tried 3 times) or is this just a panic/familiar thing for him because hes scared.

Do I give up and get on with my life, with him being my baby’s father or do I keep hope that he will realise what he has lost.

Thank you.
RedViper

October 7, 2015 at 1:47 pm

Last time I commented here, I was a mess. It has been almost 6 months from that day and more than a year since our break up. My ex is happily in a relationship with another guy and still hates me for things which I did not even do. Few days back, a friend of mine told her the truth that I was innocent with solid proof but she did not give a shit about it. But in these 6 months, I have done some major life improvements. I’m doing a lot better in Uni, got some amazing and fun loving friends, I work out and I try to help anyone who needs help. By doing that, slowly slowly I have moved on. I won’t say I don’t miss her. I do infact I was missing her few mins back and that is why I am here but these are all moments. All in all I am happy in my life but Chris, deep down inside, I still remember all her insults and sometimes it hurts. It hurts to see how low I fell infront of her. Deep down inside, I still want her to regret losing me. Is it possible knowing the fact that she is happy with someone else now ( the guy sang 5 hours on phone to impress her, something I cannot do ) ? If yes, then advice me something atleast like you did last time. Thank you !!

RedViper

October 7, 2015 at 1:48 pm

Shit I guess I am in the wrong site. It was exgirlfriend recovery. Sorry

Julie

October 4, 2015 at 10:23 am

Hi Chris! Ive read your blog and I found a lot of good insights. My boyfriend and I recently broke up. Im trying to figure out for how long I should use the NC.
Im gonna sum up our relashionship history and some of his behaviour for you:
When I first met him, he was still regretting his breaking with his ex. They were a couple for six years, and when I met him he had been single for two years. He was, as you say, comparing every girl to her and couldnt find a match. He is a very good looking man, everyone refers to him as “the handsome guy” and he has really good game. This ment that I, being a perfect UG, was the first girl which pants he couldnt talk off. For 3 months we slept together almost every night and were just kissing, cuddling and talking about everything. After we became a couple we were a really good macth. He wasnt, as you point out in a borger post, looking at, thinking of or wanting other women. At least not for the first year and a half. Then one day we had a major fight (i dont even remember what it whas about, though) that caused him to leave. I went after him, and we both knew that it was too stupid to just break. But since that day, his heart wasnt in the relationship anymore. That has been for about four months. We have had some good times, where everything was like before the fight, for example on vacations. But overall he lost something for me since that day.
When we broke up, he said that he had wanted to for a while, but he was afraid of losing me. This also tells me that the NC would be an advantage for me. My concern is two things: today his best friend moves to the other side of the world to study for a year. This means that my ex Will Lise both me, his bf and his home (we were Living together for a year). Of course he has other friends, but they are more like buddies, and they are my other concern: When I first met my ex he was Living with these friends. They were very messy and they smoked weed every day. My ex qiut that when we got together, and he also got his dream job. Im afraid that when he both looses the people whom understand him (me and his bf) and moves back in with these buddies, hes gonna go back to the old habits and potentially lose this job hes so proud of. His buddys arent serious about Career goals and just live day by day with getting stoned and hooking up with random girls. So they arent a good influence, and i really wouldnt see the man i love lose all that he has worked for and how far hes come the last couple of years. Would 30 days be to much? Or what do you Think? He has asked if we could stay friends and i told him yes – then i stumpled upon your blog.. I also want to know if i should tell him that im not gonna talk to him for a while, or if i just out of the Blue should ignore him?

Julie

October 10, 2015 at 11:21 am

Oh and maybe i should add that in the end of our relashionship he kissed with a friend of ours. That was the reason we broke up (even though there was more behind our break as i told you. This kiss was more like an excuse to break.) but I know that he is seeing this girl at the moment because i saw his car at her house.. When we split he said that he wouldnt be with her ever again, but now i know that was a lie. What should i do with this?

Boni

October 1, 2015 at 7:33 pm

Hi Chris!

Excellent blog entirely. I can never fault your work. ??

On to my question, my ex and I broke up 5 months ago. He had just graduated, moved to another city, gotten a new job, new car- he was succeeding basically. We were together for 5 years. Met in varsity and had been in a long distance r/ship for a year before.

So my ex is pretty stubborn. I didn’t contact him for 5 month because 30 days felt too short for change to me personally especially for someone I’ve been with for 5 years. I wanted to heal first before I tried to get him back. I took your advice to be the UG and I feel that I am 75% there. I am happy, I’ve experienced so much lately, I’m looking good and feeling even better.

So the other day I checked his Twitter to see how he was doing and I surprisingly came across a tweet which was definitely directed at me. Like I said, he’s stubborn, he does not like appearing weak- so this really took me by surprise. Tweet said: “missing people does not mean you want them back- it just affirms your humanity and that when you lose, you feel”. This was followed by a conversation with his friend who said he had been having dreams about his ex lately to which he responded “it’s okay, bro” which seemed a bit out of solidarity to me. I don’t know if my interpretation is off but I would like your opinion on whether you think he seems to be questioning his decision & regretting breaking up with me or not, and whether now is the right time to strike and contact him again.

Thanks ?

Chris Seiter

October 2, 2015 at 4:25 pm

Not sure I’d go as far as regretting it yet BUT I will say that things are moving in the right direction for you.

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1,759 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go”