5 Powerful Methods To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Losing You

1,759 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go”

Meredith

October 1, 2015 at 1:45 am

My boyfriend/partner and I broke up after 7 months of dating (8 months of “seeing each other”)
It was all very sudden and over text messages. He told me he had started to get depressed and didn’t want me to have to go through that with him. I was also told by his friend that he believed we were in too different stages of life as there was a 4 year age gap. Which had never been a problem before.
A few days after he broke up with me, he came to our house to move his stuff out and while it was very rushed, he stopped to give me a very tight hug and told me to message him.
It’s four days into the no contact rule and I’ve noticed that he checks all the public snapchats I post. This may not mean anything, but if he’s checking one social media, who is to say he’s not checking all my others?
Although I’m no where near the end of NC I’m trying to figure out the perfect text message to send. In one article you say to not mention the old relationship at all, instead go for something that will catch their attention (e.g the whale watching with pole vaults), in another you suggest to go with the bring up happy memory idea, or like suggested in this article bring up their love for something. Just a bit conflicted on which road to take when it finally gets to message time.
Thanks in advance.
bqa-tm

October 1, 2015 at 12:13 am

Absolutely genius the way you ended this article. I was scrolling down the page looking for more and then the weight of this concept hit me all at once!!! Way to drive the point home. brilliant exapmle. Thank you 🙂

Chris Seiter

October 1, 2015 at 5:46 pm

Thank you!

It was a good idea for me too because I was getting tired of writing so win/win 😉 .

Jamie

September 29, 2015 at 3:03 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex is having his birthday soon and it would be 8 weeks after we broke up. Should I texted him saying happy birthday? I just don’t want it to be too much and make him to think that my world still revolves around him. Will a simple happy birthday text be good enough?

Thanks,
Jamie

Chris Seiter

October 1, 2015 at 6:03 pm

No

Xay

September 28, 2015 at 12:15 pm

Hey there,

I guess this may sound a little silly but I dated a guy for 3 months and he told me his reason for breaking up with me is because he developed feelings for another girl at his school. We both go to different schools but they are very close to each other and he also lives up the road from me. Out of all the relationships I have been in this relationship I had with this particular guy meant a lot more to me and was more serious, although it only lasted 3 months.

Our relationship was great in the beginning and most of the time, but toward the end I guess it got a little cold when he started liking another girl. We knew each other very personally and his older sister knew most of my cousins because she went to school with them, he always talked about the future with me although we are just teenagers and things do change. I guess he was thinking about a future with me because we both have only two years left of high school so it seemed a little more convenient for him. Not that I was convinced 100% that I was going to have a future with him, but we did like talking about it a lot. Both our families are strict (my family a little more strict than his), and we both weren’t allowed to date so we had to keep it from them. It was hard for us to see each other and we usually had to find ways of seeing each other without our families becoming suspicious. We usually would invite our friends to an outing so it would look like we were just going out with our friends OR if my parents weren’t home, he would sneak down the road to my place and we’d hang out for a while (very sneaky, yes).

A few weeks before he had to go on a family vacation he didn’t message me and call me as much as usual and he took longer to reply to me, this was when I slightly speculated he was loosing feelings and started liking the girl at his school. But I was ignorant toward it and I decided to trust that he just had other things going on in his life that he needed to tend to. I remembered the date he told me he was coming back from vacation and on that day he didn’t contact me, he didn’t contact me the whole 3 and a half weeks he was gone. I decided to not worry because I thought he must be tired from his flight, so I gave it the rest of the week to see if he would contact me. But of course he did not, and so I messaged him saying that I missed him. He replied saying he missed me too but then brought up taking a break. I didn’t like where this was going and I asked him why but he wouldn’t even open my messages. Two days later I messaged him asking why again and he said that he had feelings for someone else, so I ended our relationship then and there because it is no use holding onto someone who doesn’t love you anymore.

After things ended I decided to make more positive improvements on myself and show that I’m still great (or even better) without him. I remember uploaded a few pictures of myself going out a couple of weeks after we broke up and he blocked me on Facebook on that very day, and it was just a selfie of me by the way. I didn’t contact him at all after we broke up, so I found it a little puzzling as to why he’d just block me and plus I thought he liked another girl so why would he even care what is going on in my life?

It’s been 2 months since we have broken up and since then I’ve heard a few rumours about him and they were about him supposedly doing things behind my back whilst we were in a relationship, but I didn’t really give it any attention because they’re just rumours and I don’t know if they were actually true or not. I am slightly starting to miss him and I’m not sure if I can really get him back because he has blocked me and it seems as though he doesn’t really care for the likes of me anymore. What should I really do from here?

Sorry it was quite long, I wanted to address the situation in detail so I could maybe get some help from your perspective on the situation, thanks!

Steph

October 2, 2015 at 7:55 pm

I had a friend and her skeezy roommate swiped the guy she was seeing. After that the skeezy one got him to unfriend and block my friend. It’s all about insecurity. The new girl is probably feeling threatened. It’s probably not just you that got blocked either.

Annie

September 26, 2015 at 1:48 am

Me and my ex were together for almost 2 years. We broke up while he was in alaska working for 3 months. He immediately started dating some other girl up there and it didn’t work out because a week later she found a new boyfriend. It has been over a month and he has not attempted to contact me at all. I finally got so angry that i messaged him over Facebook and tried calling him as much as I could. He blocked me on Facebook and he blocked my number. So now what? he really hurt me. I just want to know he’ll regret it.
mags

September 23, 2015 at 3:11 pm

I work in a pub… have already seen him once since we split up, not by choice!

We broke up two weeks ago there was no contact from either side for 7 days then he showed up on my shift… I said hello, served him when I had to and went about my shift happily like I was bothered at all…
He messaged me that night twice once while I was working then when he left – I ignored them – 3rd text read “thanks for the reply – ignored that too…
He has so far messaged every other day things like… thinking of you, are you okay, hope your well, night night – all ignored by me…
Friday is now approaching and if he does pay a visit to the pub do I keep up all of the above…
I can do the whole 30 day no contact, not responding ect… but I can’t do much about him coming to my place of work so can’t exactly do strictly no contact he chooses to show up…

He spilt up with me, said he wasn’t happy and didn’t want me anymore, I didn’t question him why at the time nor after and i just let him go… he has a lot of personal stuff going on at the moment.. he has tried to ingage me with this trou his first message whilst I was at work … but I was there for him 100% when all this was going on and he dumped me out of the blue, and not to nicely either!

Any advice would be appreciated

Thanks 🙂
Ria

September 20, 2015 at 7:45 pm

Hi chris.
Me nd my ex boyfriend were together for about 4 months.. we were crazy avout each other.. used to talk 2 hrs msging nd 2-3 hrs on phone calls nd d whole day texting nd evrything.. bt aftr d breakup i startd ignoring him bt showing him too at the same time that i too wntd to talk to him… he said he wntd to be best friends with me bt i used to figtlht with him evryday fr leaving me like this but i showed that too that i wntd him back.. this went for abt 2 mnths.. he usd to call each day nd i used to say slam pwrds to him bt all d way long he knew it was jst my outer anger n dat i too loved him which made him held dat long…
Den suddenly 1 day i realised he was my bestest friend i evr had bt jst frm d next day i saw something else… he was ignoring me… aftr 2 days i sent like 200+ msgs n 64 calls aftr vch he blocked me.. his last msgs were nt of hatred bt were like “plz leave me alone.. i dnt hate u ”
I was depressed n broken aftr dat i called him atleast 15-20 calls each day n sent him msgs frm another no… he put all my numbers on reject list
Then fr 2 weems i followed that no contact rule until his birthday came… n frm d next day i again showed him how much i missd him… bt d difference being i jst usd to give a one sad look in 1 or 2 days with no calls or msgs.. den i sent him a mil clearing some unexplained things nd 1 week aftr thata he came to college… the 2nd day he did a very small thing bt a thing he used to do evryday while we were in a relationship… he jst kept his bag on my bag… aftr like 1.5 mnths nd did dat deliberatley in front of me 2-3 times so that i notice.. i jst showed that i dint notice bt fr me it was a great thing to see aftr 1.5 mnths of great depression without him… this was our exam time so i kind of went like i dnt care attitude fr 1 week n aftr that i strtd by jst saying a hi to which nt as b4 he did atleast reply me but d reply was nt a very encouraging one.. bt still aftr a long time it was a hope fr me that maybe we cn be best friends like i consider him as mine..
He just replied me a hi evryday bt he used to leave d place if i went specially to talk to him alone… he jst used to walk to his friends… i have given him sad eye looks or jst shown him at times dat i was crying beacuse of sonetging he said or coz of the way he was acting.. nd he suddemly seems to have built a more deep frndship with the girl who was alwz his good frnd bt d main reason of our fights evn when we were in a relationship.. though i knw him he doesnt like that girl nd cn nvr like him d way he usd to like me… m much more better than that girl… n that girl i used to like alwz so i told abt our relation nd other things to her nd she askd a personal question to him which made all d matter worse (this happened wen he first started ignoring me) nd aftr i hv told her abt evrything n dat i used to be jealous of her… i dnt knw somehow their frndship has grown a lil stronger n she has strtd ignoring me.. she isd to be a good frnd.. bt nw she doesnt evn talk to me
Maybe im explaining evrything too much… bt im so messed up in this thing… i dnt knw wt to think ..wt to conclude… nd as it is said like a girls insticts are the strongest… so evn though i can see a lil deep frndship between d girl n him but i can still see or somehow feel that no he doenst like her… i can feel that.. nd he too though he doesnt tlk to me frm his side bt is alwz aware of my presence.. i feel these things… the ppl aroynd me say he has forgotten me bt i feel he still rmbrs me… nd i can bet my life on it as far as i knw him no matter how good frnd a girl becomes of his bt my place is irreplaceable… nd im pretty sure abt this…
This all is a hell lot complicated… evn in boys my frnds call him to be some1 ‘who hides nd runs away frm his feelings’ he is very complicated nd so i dnt get him.. evn he replies a hi or anything to vch i call him bt he does nt encourage further things..
Though it was a short time in which we were together but he changed drastically because of me… nd i knw i will always be some1 really special fr him..
Well, i dnt wnt him back as my boyfiend bt i wnt him to regret for losing me totally from his life nd i wnt him to come back to me wnting to be friends… n i wnt evrything to be as good as b4 wen we were frnds.. i hope u ‘ll suggest a good answer as its been hollowing me inside fr days.. evry secind being hell… nd ur time fr no.contact rule or anything has gone since its goin to be 2 mnths… i jst feel like he still brs me bt i wnt him to regret n come back to me as my friend.. i hope u ll be able yo help me
K

September 16, 2015 at 5:07 pm

How do I return my ex’s stuff while doing the no contact rule? Thanks
Rebecca

September 14, 2015 at 8:13 pm

My ex only proposed to me in December, we booked our venue in June, he drew the kind of cake he wanted in July then he broke up with me in August. So obviously I was shocked and confused by the break up.

It’s rumoured that he started seeing someone else before he broke up with me then started seeing her afterwards (not too sure if they are in a fully fledged relationship as I don’t want to poke the bees nest by asking).

What should I do in that circumstance? How do I make him regret leaving me for her?
Carmel

September 8, 2015 at 2:21 pm

Hi Chris

I have been reading so many of your blogs, thank you for your information it is very insightful. My situation is that I had been with my boyfriend for 10 months, we lived together in another country and we came back and had to live separately, we had a great 8 weeks when we came back but then suddenly he said he “wasn’t ready for this” and realised this “wasn’t for him”. Just the weekend before he left me he was talking about how he wanted to marry me etc. We have been broken up for 5 weeks now and I have found it near enough impossible to do NC because I have so many unanswered questions etc especially when I see he is still going out etc. Anyway I have started the NC and although it has only been 2 days im already finding this very hard, my question is, we have been apart 5 weeks and I obviously have been contacting him questioning him etc, do you think the NC will still work even after 5 weeks of basically constant arguing?

Thanks Chris

Mannie

September 30, 2015 at 5:00 am

Hi my name is Mannie, my ex boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years we broke up in 2012, he started to date a girl but after a few months he started to text me back in 2013 I didn’t spoke to him but since he kept messaging me, he told me how he remembers the good old days that him and I shears anyways I accept him back into my life, now in 2015 the girl he was dating after we broke up message me and said how he’s using me I didn’t believe her, but in April he stop talking to me cheated on me with a different girl I found out through Instagram he was seeing someone else this is a new girl and they’re still dating I definitely don’t want him back in my life but I do want him to regret and feel the pain and heartache he put me through can you help me make this prick feel the way he made me feel thanks!

Ann

September 6, 2015 at 3:43 pm

Hi there,

So my boyfriend and I broke up. After a two year relationship. And he used to be crazy about me. But when it ended over the summer he seemed really happy maybe because I kept running after him. Maybe we had too many complications. Once college began and we had to face each other and I kept up with the no contact rule and completely avoided him I could see he was in the most depressed state ever and I felt bad for him. Just then he met with an accident. But he wasn’t injured much. Ever since that he approached me and I had to talk to him. And wonder how he is. But that lead to hanging out and admitting our feelings for each other. I suggested we could get back but he still said no. Even though he said I meant everything to him. He said getting back wouldn’t be a good idea and he was happy the way he is. So I hung around him for a while. Kept giving us a good time. To remind him how we were. But he still seems least bothered when I put in so much effort. And he says he wants me to be around him but he doesn’t want to date again. He wants time for himself and stuff. I’m done waiting around expecting him to come back. Because I wanted him back. But now think I should go back to staying away from him. Because he pretends like he’s a new rude person and thinks I can’t let go of him. It’s been two months since we split. Any suggestions ?
C. V.

September 2, 2015 at 9:04 pm

Hi Chris. Thank you for making this wonderful site. It’s very helpful in my hopes of getting back together with my ex, but it has also taught me to work on myself. Ok down to the issue. My boyfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago. He sited not being able to give me what I want (commitment of moving in together). It was a very difficult and emotional breakup for the two of us. Other than this, we had a pretty wonderful and loving relationship. Right after, I went into NC. The only time we’ve talked is to try to set up a date to exchange our belongings. During these two weeks I’ve looked within myself and realized I played a big part in the breakup. I lost a bit of myself over the years (I used to be very independent and do things on my own) he was still a big part of my life but I also had my own life and he his own. I also noticed that I miss the old me. I realized I became somewhat clingy and most likely ended up pushing him away. What I’m wondering is if I should apologize and tell him I realize my part in this when we see each other, or if I should just get my belongings, give him his and continue NC. Reaching out in time (say a month). I’d like him to know I realize my mistakes and am working on them. He will be leaving on vacation in two weeks with his family (I was supposed to go with him) so I wonder if this time away will give him to space to think things. I truly love this man and he loves me as well, I hope we have a chance to reconcile and continue the loving relationship we had (after some time and changes from both sides). Thanks for your time!

C. V.

September 2, 2015 at 9:13 pm

I forgot to mention I am 25 and he is 34. I’m not sure if this makes a difference in anything. Thanks.

Britt

August 31, 2015 at 10:45 pm

Hi Chris,

I think I have a unique situation. My now ex boyfriend and I were only together for 4 months, but it was pretty great while it lasted. We met in a very serendipitous fashion and had a wonderful connection right off the bat. There is an age difference of 9 years, me being the older one, but he is very mature and one of the most honest men I have met. He does lack the experience in relationships and has only been in love once and got his heart broken about 1 1/2 years prior to us meeting. Like I said everything was wonderful until I started to display some relationship insecurities. Due to my own fears and experiences. This was a long distance relationship and he also is entering foreign service next summer for 2 to possible 5 years. He expressed a lot of affection and happiness in the beginning. His foreign service was originally intended to begin this fall, but when those plans fell through he told me he was glad he would be able to spend this time with me. However, after about 2 months things started to change, I was showing insecurity and jealously and he was bottling up all the anxiety it was starting to cause him. We had a huge emotional meltdown about 3 weeks after this and decided to give everything a fresh start. I honestly changed my ways and went back to the way things were in the beginning. I made myself less available and he did all the communication initiation. He visited me the weekend after the big blowout and we had the most wonderful time. No pressure, just a good time. When we said goodbye I did tell him how happy he made me and thanked him for it, but knew there was a chance we would not see each other again. He said I was wrong and that we would see each other again, but it might be a little while. So he continued to contact me almost daily and asked me to skype a few times a week and we continued dating. Oh, forgot to mention he did say during that blowout the he did not feel in love with me. Prior to this we didn’t exchange I love you’s, but he did express how he never felt this way and he was scared of the future because of our paths going different ways. Anyhow, after a great afternoon Skype chat yesterday I asked if he wanted me to come visit for Labor Day. He said yes and a part of me sensed very subtle apprehension. But I booked my trip anyhow and sent him a message with my travel plans. Later that evening I received a message from him saying we needed to talk. We ended up skyping and he said that he went for a bike ride and really realized how unhappy he is in this relationship. That he’s been thinking about it a lot and tried really hard to make things work, but felt like he was forcing something that wasn’t there. I was of course very emotional and went through a roller coaster of emotions throughout this conversation. Our connection kept getting lost and he said if I wanted to Skype this week and finish talking when we had a better connection. My question for you is, if he didn’t fall in love with me, but was crazy about me in the beginning is it even possible he will regret his decision and miss me? Or are his feelings set about me once that feeling is tainted or gone? And also, should I start the no contact rule or finish the breakup conversation and goodbye talk that got cut off because of the Internet connection? I know I’m a wonderful person with many great qualities, but I do make the same mistake repeatedly with men and even if I don’t ever hear from this guy again I want to learn a lesson from this experience and handle myself with dignity and self respect through this breakup. Thanks! Britt

Britt

September 4, 2015 at 8:12 pm

Hi Chris,

Wondering if you had any insight to my inquiry earlier this week? I decided to go no contact and not have the goodbye talk. And as expected he didn’t try to contact me either. I also have been very seldom with my social media use. I went on Skype once to set up a chat with a friend and I noticed he was not online which tells me he either blocked me or turned it off because his Skype is always active even when he’s not home. So that was a little painful to know. But all part of the process I suppose. Anyhow, I’m 5 days of no contact. Any advice or insight would be great. Would be nice to have a mans perspective.

Thanks,

Britt

Steph

August 31, 2015 at 10:12 pm

My ex originally broke up with me about 3 weeks ago because he lost feelings. We were dating for about a year, so naturally I was devistated, especially since I was sure he was the one. We talked today and he said he hasn’t once regretted breaking up. Is it possible for him to regain feelings if he’s so happy now? Would your e book help in this situation? I’ve read every article and done NC.

Chris Seiter

September 2, 2015 at 3:30 am

It sure would!

folakemi

August 31, 2015 at 11:06 am

My ex came back 4 me last 2month and now his treating me bad again he doesn’t reply text he keeps to himself, he nags, he avoid me now dat I’m more addicted to him wat can I do
Leah

August 30, 2015 at 11:43 pm

Hey,
My boyfriend just broke up with me this week and I moved out today. We were together for 2 years and our entire lives were together. Our friends are the same and I thought we were going to be together forever. He is a farmer and works LONG hours. He is 26 and I’m almost 25. I was his first real relationship, real commitment and the first girl he’s actually loved. We were crazy, head-over-heels in the beginning. In December he bought a house after needing to get out of his trailer that the floors were falling out. This same month a bunch of people at his family’s farm quit, putting more stress and work on him. As soon as he moved into the house he asked me to move in with him. He didn’t want to be alone in this big house compared to the small trailer he was in. Then at the end of December we found out that my Crohn’s Disease had gotten so bad that I almost had a complete blockage in my digestive tract so I had to have surgery and was unable to work for a few months because of having part of my intestines removed. Well all these stressors from this year really strained our relationship and I think he feels overwhelmed. He told me that he loves me and cares about me but is no longer in love with me. I think that now that things are tough in our relationship he is mistaking his feelings for not being in love with me. You are not always going to feel like you did in the beginning of a relationship. I’m hoping you’re following this because I feel like I’m going all over the place. Instead of trying to work through these tough times and our arguing he would rather throw in the towel because he thinks everything is long gone from saving. So after moving today he is left with a nearly empty house. He works 2 weeks before getting one day off and working 12 hour days everyday. I was his support system, besides his friends which isn’t the same and he isn’t close with his family. I cleaned, cooked, did his laundry, bought groceries, and took care of his dog. The only thing he had to worry about was working and paying bills. I did all this for him while also working part-time and going to school full-time. I want him back so bad because I don’t feel this is over. I am planning on improving myself, before reading this page even, and I want to do everything in my power to get him to want me back. October 17 he and I will have to see each other at our best friends’ wedding. What do you think? Can this be done?
Jane

August 30, 2015 at 5:07 pm

Hi chris I hope you respond to me.
My ex and I dated a long time ago for almost 2 years but I caught him talking to other women about sex and it took a toll on our relationship. I eventually left him for someone else. 6 years later I was single and we randomly bumped into each other at a bar and started talking again. We hadn’t spoke in 6 years because our breakup was bad and we hated each other for a long time. Anyway we started casually sleeping together at first but then it turned into a relationship. We moved in together and he talked about marrying me and then I suddenly caught him again speaking to women about meeting up and having sex. The thing is, he never actually went out and did it but he enjoyed the attention. Though of course I don’t know for sure if he did or didn’t but the likelihood is slim because of his awkward work schedule and we were always together other than those times. Anyway, I decided to forgive him for some reason and we kept trying. He changed many things to be with me and to prove to me that he could become the man he felt I deserved. He became serious about marriage and was going to ask my parents but somewhere along the way things went awry. We started fighting a lot and he said he couldn’t deal with my insecurities anymore and how I couldn’t trust him fully or deal with my depression. He felt he did too much damage to salvage our relationship and kept putting himself down saying he truly regretted hurting me so badly because of how amazing of a person I am. He has told me he has never felt another woman love him as much as I did other than his grandmother. But I couldn’t get over how he hurt me fast enough for his preference. After 6 months of saddness from catching him talking to women about sex, he got tired of my depressed state. He said he felt he could never make me happy and that he feels no matter what he does I’ll never be happy. But I kept telling him it isn’t true and that I am happy! But our fights would be terrible and he finally gave up. I made the mistake of calling and texting the first day. The second day I text him too and I went to our apartment unannounced and he became livid and stormed out.. I packed all my things and left.. the next day I text him and emailed him and he kept saying he is done. He is tired and unhappy and unwilling and not in love.. but his brother and sister in law said he told them something different and that he just needed his space. I talked to him for a bit longer that same day but he didnt budge, and so finally I said I’m moving to NY for awhile (because I am) and said see ya but he never responded. I found your site today and I guess I’m on the fence.. do I want to try to get him back or do I move on?.. will it even work since I made him angry and talked to him so much the first 3 days?
Noura

August 30, 2015 at 10:11 am

Hi ,
My ex and i were together for two straight years the thing is he have cancer but his situation is stable and in the recovery process
I stood by him every singel day
About a year ago he traveled to A different country to do radiation therapy
We broke up about 20 days ago bc i felt he didn’t want me like he used to be
I really miss him and miss the way we were
I did the no contact roul for 3 weeks and i feel like he will not call me or try to get back together ever
I did my best to keep what we had between us
Ifeel like i cant do anything unless he shows me somthing
What should i do ???!!

Noura

September 2, 2015 at 4:22 pm

Why you didn’t reply to my comment ???
Chris Seiter

September 12, 2015 at 1:25 am

Sorry Noura,

My wife gave birth to a baby girl a week ago and we are just trying to get everything settled in.

Emma

August 29, 2015 at 4:17 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex boyfriend just dumped me last Sunday. We had been dating for 2 years. He started talking to a new girl just days after we broke up. He’s been awful towards me. I miss him but I want him to regret breaking up with me. He acts as if the last 2 years meant nothing to him. He’s about to turn 19 and this girl is 17 and still in high school. Do you think he’s going to miss me at all? Things I’ve heard about this girl give her a bad reputation. I just hope he sees what he lost.

Chris Seiter

August 30, 2015 at 4:30 pm

I think he will miss you but he is also pretty young

Stephanie

August 29, 2015 at 12:09 am

Hi Chris,

I already blew my chances with my ex 🙁 and I’m feeling a bit remorseful, even though I’m trying to convince myself that going separate ways is best…

He broke off the relationship one month ago because i was smothering him. A few days after the relationship we came in contact and started seeing each other again. We decided to try to make things work but to take things very slow. But every time we met or texted emotions were running high. So a couple weeks ago we decided to give each other space for a while to let the tension settle down.

But of course, my beliefs and perceptions of things led me to bascially fabricate stories in my head. With my emotions running high I messaged him asking if he was in contact with his ex (which i believed in my head that he was), and he felt accused because he said he hasn’t been in touch with her and why would I even ask that question. This angered him a lot, and he told me he wants to go separate ways. He told me he’s tired of my s**t and that i haven’t changed 🙁 he said that he wants to have no contact with me whatsoever. I was broken. But i knew I’m the one to blame for my stupid actions.

This all happened via text message, but it felt like the break up all over again. With him “yelling” , being dismissive, even cursing me…only this time he plugged the plug for good 🙁

I feel remorseful, and I’m regretting everything. Mainly because he left with having very little to no respect for me. I’m sure he would look back and not regret leaving, and he will feel happier and more relieved. Our relationship and communication was so strong despite the fact that i texted him too much. But i feel as though he would overlook all of that because his hatred for me is stronger than anything else… I feel as though i didn’t leave any reason for him to “miss” me or what we had. And i know he definitely won’t come back or even try to have a small communication with me. Even though I cared deeply for him, loved him with all of my heart, supported him thru everything and did whatever it took to make him happy (even if it was very small)…I feel as though he will take it for granted or it won’t be enough to overpower his hate for me to at least have him consider trying to establish communication with me…

What is your take on this? I would ask you “do you think he would come back after some time has passed and he calms down and reflects on everything I’ve done for him and the time we’ve had?”…but I’m sure your answer would be to just move on because he will never come back…

Stephanie

August 29, 2015 at 4:54 pm

To repeat, I know I already blew my chances with him, for even a platonic relationship 🙁 and I’m feeling a bit remorseful, even though I’m trying to convince myself that going separate ways is best… i know i was wrong for smothering him, and i could understand why he bolted for the door. But i honestly did not realize how I was making him feel until after he broke up with me. I wished he was more opened and communicated with me while we were still together about how I made him feel.
I know he left with little respect for me, but I’ve done so much for him and supported him through all the stressful moments he had. However, I wasn’t at fault for everything. He is the type of person that goes out drinking often with buddies. He would complain to me almost every time we met that he’s broke or can’t spend too much, but yet he would go out often with friends. I tried to explain to him how it affected me and my concerns, but all he thought was that i was being “controlling”. He cannot manage his money, he spends it on booze basically everyday. Now I know a lot of women would leave a relationship like that, but i stuck with him because in a way I felt sorry for him. I wanted to help him. I even created a budget for him to follow but he never followed it (and he is the one that asked me for help with managing his money).
I know I was wrong for smothering him with text messages, but I’m not a bad person. I care deeply for the people I love and i try to help them with the best of my ability. He was one of those people. I not only told him how much i cared for and love him, I showed it. I stuck with him no matter what and tried to help him, supported him, offered advice when he needed it, and im the one that spoiled him. But i feel as though he took all of it for granted; he took ME for granted because he has a mindset that I’m “possessive/controlling/unbearable”. And i know he will make me sound like the “bad person” to all of his friends and family. Because i know how stubborn he is and he will tell himself he did the best thing by letting me go because of how possessive I became, instead of looking at all the little things I did for him. Like I said, I admit I’m wrong for smothering him, but I wished he had given me more time to show him that i could change.
However, I also thought i was being treated unfairly, because he never took into consideratiom my concerns about his drinking habits/not being able to manage his money. He would even yell at me and curse me when we argued. I KNOW I don’t deserve that. I’ve gotten angry at him before, but I’d never belittle him in any way. I never yelled at him even during an argument. I’m a soft spoken person with a big heart. And i feel as though he took advantage of me. And every concern i had he’ll twist it to make it seem like I’m just being controlling “as usual”. I really wish he knew how he made me feel. And realize that his actions hurt me and to know i don’t deserve any of it despite of how much i smothered him. I’ve learned my lesson and I’m aware now of what not to do in the future, but I’m not sure he will ever change.
I know everyone that reads this would think I’m so much better off and shouldn’t even be moping around for him. But i don’t know why i have to constantly convince myself that I’m better off this way, instead of telling myself with confidence that i know I’m better off. He was my first boyfriend and I know how much i put into the relationship. So I guess the fact that he took it for granted is why it’s bothering me. Also I waited until HE broke up with ME, and he probably left with very little respect for me, when i know i shouldve left alot sooner. I’m just so remorseful… I’m not sure if he will ever look back and realize the type of person I really am (someone with a big heart who cared deeply for him), what i brought to the table, and if he will ever regret hurting the nice person…

I’m sorry this was so long, I figured i should give you the full story.

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