5 Powerful Methods To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Losing You

1,759 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go”

princess

August 11, 2014 at 5:03 pm

I liked your article. I had literally bombarded him with text messages and calls the day we broke up and begged him to keep contact with me. Then he sent me really rude replies and i decided to start the NC. But we were in a long distance relationship (not from the beginning). I wonder if this is going to work. I am afraid the month long NC might make him like some other girl. Shall i still proceed with it?

admin

August 12, 2014 at 11:37 am

Are you permanently long distance right now?

garima

August 6, 2014 at 9:53 pm

he broke up wid me 6 months ago. we were toghethr for last 1.5 yrs. initially he was so serious. he cared a lot. i ws such a mess. he got frustrated in tht relationshp. he wants to be single but wants me in his whole life. I was actually too clingy i told him tht i need a relationship. then he officialy broke up wid me. we hve many mutual friends so i know he still cares. 2 mnths ago i tried NC. he tried to contact me many times. he used to say tht i’m his best friend but he just don’t want to be in a relationship thing. he wants to talk to me but he always tells me that we need time. he was like after sometime may be we’ll get back toghethr. i don’t want to loose him yet i made many mistakes earliar. what can i do?? plz tell me….

admin

August 11, 2014 at 11:07 am

How long did you last in the initial NC period?

Klara Thomas

August 6, 2014 at 1:04 am

hi.
okay here is the short version of me and my ex. he fell in love with me and did not stop until we got together. we were very happy for almost 3 years. we broke up in march because he lost interest and dose not know what he wants. i think i have done everything right since according to your website: was not clingy, no contact for at least 3 weeks etc.
now for the last few weeks he has been talking to me, very casual, and i have tried to answer him accordingly, based on what i have read here on your website.
this weekend i went out partying with my friends and kissed a guy that he knows (trying: moving on without moving on). i think one of his friends has told my ex, because he asked my a little about it after the weekend.
i am afraid that my timing for this kiss was off because my ex had started talking to me again?
and that now he will not want to talk to me anymore?

admin

August 6, 2014 at 2:42 pm

Not sure thats exactly what I meant about moving on without moving on hahaha. Kissing another guy isn’t usally the best.
Klara Thomas

August 7, 2014 at 12:19 am

so what do i do know? :'(

Samantha

July 30, 2014 at 7:59 pm

So my boyfriend broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. We were together for 3.5 years and were happy almost all the time with the occasional fight. He broke up with me because he claimed he did not treat me well enough and was unsure if he wanted to be in a relationship anymore. He said he loved me still and he was doing this to see if he could change (I guess he meant like if he lost me it would make him change…I know it makes no since..didn’t make since then either). We have been working at a joint building right now for the summer and whenever I see him I just smile and say hi and walk away or continue with whatever I am doing. On August 14, we go back to FL for college and have about 5 or more hours of travelling time together and I’m not sure how to address it. Even though I have not texted or called once since that day we broke up, can I still count these last 3 weeks as NC or do I have to start that when I get to FL? And how do I approach that long of a plane ride..do I try to talk to him?

admin

August 4, 2014 at 2:02 pm

You can talk to him but try to keep it pleasant and very general. No specifics about the relationship.

alexa

July 30, 2014 at 1:42 pm

I stumbled on your website and would love some manly insight. Long story (somewhat short). My bf and I were together for 3 years. Lived together for most of that. We had a great relationship except with the fact I am in college (Harvard) and the last two semesters (last fall, spring) were extremely hard and had no time to spend with him. I told him as soon as summer was here, I was all his. He said he understood. March came, he went to a party for St. Patty’s day, a girl coworker was there. They connected. He started texting her that week. By that sunday (party was monday) they were having drinks. I found out. Told him he was lying, starting to cheat, he had to leave. He did. 4 days later. Packed everything, moved back home. For the next four months we went back and forth on a daily basis. He would write me letters, buy me flowers, take me out to dinner, etc. He said I was the love of his life, he saw his future with me, marriage, the house, etc. BUT. He was torn. half of him wanted freedom to party and be with other girls. the other part wanted to be in a committed relationship. He wanted to date others and we continue to date, go on vacations etc. He said he lost our connection because of my busy schedule and we needed to reconnect…So, 2 weeks ago, he went to a party with a girl. spent the weekend with her. texted me on monday. I’m so sorry, I didn’t sleep with her, don’t hate me, omg what have I done, please I’ll do anything. This went on for 4 days. Non stop texting 24-7. I kept telling him, no. I don’t think I can forgive. That Thursday he met another girl at work. spent the night with her. By that Sunday he said he was committed to her and we were over??? WTF??? Okay. I said, fine and haven’t talked to him. My question, is this really over or is he truly lost and can’t figure out his life? Your no contact rule is hard, we work together. How do I go about not talking to him. One more thing. I am 15 years older. I know, I know. he is 25, I am 40. I’m not the average 40yr old. looks wise I am stunning (model type, not to brag just want you to see the full picture) I’m getting my degree at Harvard, etc, etc. I know he is young. He told me he wants his freedom to talk to him in 6 months because when he settles down, he wants to settle down with me. I’m everything he is looking for. Is this just an excuse? Or is the man serious? I can give him time and somewhat hold on but then again. Perhaps I should completely walk away? His last words to me were, he’ll always love me, we will talk and he didn’t think he would ever visit me again. Um? A little guidance.

admin

July 30, 2014 at 4:25 pm

At 25 he is probably extremely immature which is why he didn’t have respect and went out with that girl for drinks…
alexa

July 30, 2014 at 7:24 pm

I agree…My real question is whether or not he is truly confused or if he just wants freedom and to not even bother about thinking of a later future, say in 6 months to a year. Is this person really in love or just saying what he needs to say?…(not that I’ll even be around, just curious your opinion)
admin

August 4, 2014 at 1:54 pm

I tend to say look at someones actions as opposed to their words and that is how you can tell what they really think.

CouCou

July 29, 2014 at 12:30 am

Good evening. I would love to have your advice on my case. I have been dating my boyfriend for a couple of months. Last week I got angry with him and exploded in front of someone he knew, and after that I walked away. Before my outburst i was always very polite and respectful towards him and his friends. later I came back to apologise to him but the damage was already done. He was very angry. I then tried to message him and he acted very cold or would not reply me. I visited him and he was practically ignoring me. He then told me he needed time to think. I didn’t disturb him for a day or three. Today i messaged him again to ask if we could talk and he told me to come over. We then talked. He voiced out how i broke his trust and that he was disappointed in me. And that it will take time for him to see if he is still interested. I went home again and now im looking for a solutions. I want him back but i did not start a nc period. Can i still do this? Also his office is opposite my apartment so whenever i step out., he will see me. How can I deal with this? Also, he is 20years my senior. (I am 30, he is almost 50). Do these methods also work for men of his age? Please help me solve this?

admin

July 29, 2014 at 7:56 pm

how bad was this outburst?
CouCou

July 29, 2014 at 11:54 pm

Well, he told me off about something I didn’t do. He did it before but I kept quiet about it. So when he did it this time(publicly imo) I tried to explain calmly that I didn’t do what he thought I did. But he started a rant and after I tried to politely explain, but could not get a word in between, I got frustrated and replied him angrily (and raised my voice a bit, but not to the point of yelling or screaming) that he did it more than once and that I didn’t appreciate it at all. I ended with :it’s really enough! And barged out of the door. I have never raised my voice on him or anyone else in his presence. Also have I always been very polite and classy. But now he says he’s sure that i showed him my true colors with my outburst. Sorry for the long reply but that’s basically it.
admin

July 30, 2014 at 3:11 pm

I think you handled it perfectly to be honest.
CouCou

July 30, 2014 at 6:26 pm

Thanks. But what can I do best as a next step. I would still like to be with him. What do you recommend. ?
admin

August 4, 2014 at 1:49 pm

Sorry I lost the context of this conversation. Next step for what?
CouCou

August 4, 2014 at 11:15 pm

Basically my question was; how can I get him back. Is it still possible , useful and wise to start a nc?
admin

August 6, 2014 at 2:22 pm

Let me put it this way. The NC rule can only help you in this situation I feel.

MaitrieCleo

July 25, 2014 at 5:55 pm

Hey, i need HELP..My boyfriend broke up with me 2.5 months ago, after a SERIOUS LONG relationship of 5.5 yrs. We had such a stable and good relationship. He cared, loved me, helped me a lot in my life and so me too. He brought me into his whole family and so I..

He told me May 2013 that his feelings went away for me..He told me he don’t love me more but at the same time he also told me (4 times): i am fighting with myself..i don’t know what is happening..You are the best girlfriend in the world. He also told me that he discovered very late that he was not committed to a relationship. He wants to be single, he wants to enjoy life with friends, he want to know other female girls or friends..He wants a free live..
I was very hurted and begged him not to leave me..because i love him to much but above all i did not expected this in my life in such a serious relationship.. .He told me : okay i will not leave you but know that my love for you went away. I let myself become a doormat..he did not have time for me, and if i contacted him in a day, he quickly became irritated and short tempered…
He also had other friends since that year who like the disco and like knowing all girls, and having sex with them..he spent much time with them..i feel he was not the old person and became a product of this environment..

I was crying like hell (i was very emotional all the time)…i decided to take all these shit because i did not want to loose him..but i also had in mind: i am going further with a boy who does not love me anymore.That was killing me somewhere that’s why i was more emotional that time.

But after a fight 2,5 months ago, he dumped me officially,but he was not 100% sure, He wanted to stay friends, stay in touch with me, he also wanted to stay coming at my home, but i rejected that because i knew it would hurt me much more. He told me: i want to breakup..i can not do you more pain, i can not see you such crying, but understand me my love for you went away and i don’t want to be in a relationship now.

From that day till today…I am in the NO contact period ..I have read many articles of you,…
I fell much stronger now…i have made some new friends, i also doing fitness 2 days in a week,…i feel much more confident..i am very busy, but my love for him is there…he is a good boy treated me as his princess..

he had not contact me either..Yesterday was my birthday, he did not wished me a HBD…but he is afraid of doing that because he don’t want to hurt me more than i am. We have many mutual friends, some of them are in contact with him.I heard of some friends that he is acting normal and cool like nothing happened.

Give me some advice..what can i do..i have also read the text your ex back review…thus, if he did not contact me during the no contact period…

Thank you very much..

i can’t wait for your advice…:-)

MaitrieCleo

admin

July 28, 2014 at 2:16 pm

How long have you been in NC total?

Andrea

July 24, 2014 at 4:37 pm

Helloy name is Andrea Me & My ex have been broken up almost 2 months fter Our final argument ( which was over me asking If.i could.bring Our.son.to.visit him for his first fathers day becuse he works out Of town we were together for almost two years dec 15 2014 & We have a 10 month old son together during before MY pregnancy everythings was great i.mind you We had only.known eachother for a.month when.i found out i was pregnante with MY son and he told me to get rid Of him and i didnt and it seem that after that he started being distant and We started arguing alot he started making excuses on why he could never come.around often.when i.was pregnate and i went on matrunity leave when i was 4 months pregnate and he didnt help me out at all with MY bills or anything and it caused me and MY
8 year old daughter to be evicted and sleeping on her day care teachers.sofa i worked an thank god.for.MY daughters.child support i saved money.am..got a.new.place i.allowed.him to move in when MY son was 2months old and he.was.not working and.neither was.i the gas and.lights We cut off.and once again i.was.being evicted i.barrowed..money.from family to..live in hotel until i got MY taxes and i found us a.home..to..live in i helped him get a job and We agreed to split the bills he agreed to pay rent an he was always.short which caused me to have to take from MY bill money to help him out anywy these situations caused us to argue alot because.i ws.going through things.
i was not use to going through he lied.to.me about a lot Of things eve his income i was thiking.he.was making 4 or 500 hundred a week.when he was really making over a 1,000 and when i.catch him in a lie or doing wrong he would always say he tired Of MY mouth and im pushing him.out the door one time when.i was telling him.about a job he told me he didnt want it an he’ll replace me just like he did he daughters Mom.. I was there for him no matter what when he got sick and put in the.hospital i.was.there day in.day out i cooked.i.cleaned and.i.took care Of.the.kids.and.worked i.gave him support for what ever he needed when ever i.rub his.back i.ironed his clothes everything in thought he.lovd me because We planned Our whole.Life together We even picked.out Our wedding colors.and.rings to his firnds i was his wife.or.his.fiance.to..his.boss.i.was.his.wife at times he was very sweet tims.where.he would.get a sitter.for.the.kids.And wouls take me out just the two Of us or the whole family his Mom and i and his fam get along.great.till his day and even though.ive been through.all.of.this and.We.have broken up and he says We are.never.getting.back.together and hes moved on.a.part
Of..me wants to be
with him.because.i.know that person i feel in love with and i so despritly want MY family back please help me..

admin

July 25, 2014 at 1:46 pm

That is crazy that he caused an argument over you wanting to bring your son to see his very own father.
Andrea

July 27, 2014 at 8:16 am

Yes I know & now he treats me so cold he treats me like ive cheated or got caught in a lie when these things aren’t even the case he says that when im mad I have a bad attitude and mouth and I need to learn how to shut up sometimes.. And now that we are broken up and I tell him im not perfect and im trying to change my attitude and that I told him how I was in our very first convo he will then turn around and ask me why am I still tryinhg to plead my case like im on trial when in reality I haven’t really done anything he Swears that he isnt seeing /sleeping with anyone but his mom says diffrent and I still dont have it in my heart to hate him I love him and still wanna be with him cause I feel that God id gonns bring us back together as changed people for the better I want him to regret that he just walked away from us I want my family.back but at thr rite time
admin

July 28, 2014 at 2:45 pm

So, what is your reason for wanting him back?
Andrea

July 29, 2014 at 9:31 pm

Because I know that the person I fell in love with is deep down in him he tried to be good to me and I let him know and showed him how much I appreciated him and everything he did but he let the person that iam trying to change from (argumentive) out way the giod in me we took a road trip a 3days before we broke up in may and it reminded me of why I fell in love with him we laughed we played we danced we talked we even started making plans for our future and another get away trip.just me &him we made love I he met my whole family on this trip and they welcomed him we was okay all they way till June the 4th when this one argument changed evetything
admin

July 30, 2014 at 3:03 pm

I know its really tough.

Tell me, what have you done for yourself since this time. What have you done to become Andrea 2.0?

Leila

July 22, 2014 at 7:43 pm

Hey,broke up with a guy I was seeing 5 days ago,we weren’t together for that long so I shouldn’t miss him but I do! We had known each other for 6 years n went out for 5 weeks,we broke up when his ex said she was pregnant and it turned out she was lying! I think he was just taking out his frustrations on me,anyway I didn’t nag him at all when we were together,in fact I think I was an awesome girlfriend,I gave him nothing but the best of me,I cooked for him nice meals n cuddled with him when he was hangovered!Anyway he said he needed time n I started NC immediately,its been 5 days n nothing from him,does he miss me? Meanwhile I took up Yoga classes,quit smoking and started painting again,but here’s my question what if at the end of 30 days,I don’t want him anymore? What if he doesn’t respond to me?what if he doesn’t regret loosing me?

admin

July 24, 2014 at 2:20 pm

good for you. Keep on keeping on.

He is going to respond to you eventually don’t worry.

Siri

July 21, 2014 at 5:21 pm

Hey, currently in NC for ten days. My exbf texted me- I have to say I’m missing sex. I ofcourse didn’t respond. Its a ldr. I don’t even understand the point of talking about sex.

admin

July 22, 2014 at 2:15 pm

Well, that is indicitave that he doesn’t miss you he misses having sex with you.

Tammy

July 16, 2014 at 8:25 pm

Please help. My boyfriend (now ex) and I had aassive fight. He withdrew and I freaked out going mad. He told me he wanted space and I told him we should end it. I’m so heartbroken and he said everything is my fault. I don’t know what to do now

admin

July 18, 2014 at 3:04 pm

What was the fight over?

LewLew

July 15, 2014 at 5:44 pm

Help!
I dated my boyfriend for five years. He left me a week ago for another girl, my friend that he’d just met. After an intense complete meltdown, I realized that he is the one who will have to live with what he’s done. In that way, he’s set me free of that kind of guilt. I found my anger and that gave me strength instead of sadness.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss him and feel more envy and pain than I can express through type. But I truly don’t know if I want that kind of guy back.
At this point, most of the pain comes from thinking he doesn’t feel bad at all. Which he might not yet. But to just toss away five years and not feel a thing seems inhuman. I want to make him regret it.
I’m in a solid no-contact period. And have no intention of trying to speak to him. But, we have been involved with the same group of artistic Houstonians and the weekly art events are a source of anxiety for me. The thought of seeing him makes my stomach sick and sweaty…but as I am trying to empower myself..Do I go with a group of friends just to go and show him he doesn’t hinder my happiness anymore (as I’m dressed like a babe from head-to-toe of course)? What if I had a cute boy showing me in?…or should I let him hop around these events and avoid him and this all together? Is it too soon? If I do go, what about RSVPing..if I go, should I rsvp. Or not? Ugh…FB makes it a bit more complicated in that way.
I’m not sure if declarations of independence like this are good to sow regret or make him dislike me even more..for maybe moving on too quickly..which I obviously haven’t.
Help. Social media and events alone are uncharted territory, especially without him.

admin

July 16, 2014 at 2:43 pm

Was he cheating on you with this girl before you two broke up?
LewLew

July 16, 2014 at 7:23 pm

In all honesty, no. We had a threesome two days before he left me. Now to be clear, he and I discussed this for months and I was under the verbal impression that we were ROCK SOLID..or I never ever would’ve agreed to such a thing. Then the rug got swept out from under me.
P.S. just looked at his FB for the first time since and the only thing he’s posted is a video that looks exactly like us with lyrics that sing:
Free from it all
I’m not gonna change till I want to
By the way she looked I should’ve calmed down
I went too far
Oh I went too far

Over-analyzing, probably. But it’s so hard not to.
admin

July 18, 2014 at 3:00 pm

Sounds like he used you…
LewLew

July 18, 2014 at 5:01 pm

Neither he or she were who I thought they were. So in that way, I see myself free of their deceptive narcissistic behavior.
Regarding my question though, how should I go about social events? Bringing a date (or is it too soon)? Avoiding him, not avoiding him. It is no contact but I’m not sure if I should carry that over into my physical social life.
admin

July 21, 2014 at 3:05 pm

It might make him jealous if you bring a date but don’t lead your date on…
LewLew

July 16, 2014 at 7:24 pm

~To clarify: It was with my friend, the girl. THE girl he left me for. ..
admin

July 18, 2014 at 3:00 pm

Well, I hope shes not your friend anymore.

Pat

July 15, 2014 at 2:44 am

P.S. I’m trying to make myself better, but as far as looks, I’m thin a size 2/4 I’m 5feet5′. I’m a runner. My career I’m working on getting a different job, but I’m a scientist already. My style of dressing is unique but classy. He loved that about me. I have long brown hair which I don’t even dye yet because you can’t see white hair. I know improving perhaps myself inside so I don’t feel so down. My confidence feels bad. I’ve always been strong when a relationship ends even if it hurts, I move on but this man and I had such a connection and it feels like we were not done. I just don’t understand if we had so much going for each other. I know I truly felt what true love was with him, just some weeks ago I felt how much he cared, and now this. It just doesn’t make sense and for him to talk with this woman and not want to even contact me. When he broke up he did say also that now I had to live with it because I couldn’t let it go, and I wanted an answer or closure from him.

admin

July 15, 2014 at 3:24 pm

Glad you are improving your life. I am happy for you!
Pat

July 24, 2014 at 6:17 pm

Hi Chris, I never got a response from you or at least I don’t see my responses. I wanted your opinion as to what to do. I was talking about this woman who is the one that started the rumors. He’s hanging out with her. Just don’t get the way he’s acting it’s been 16 days no contact. I did send out a text yesterday to a lot of my friends including him about someone who was at my work, but it was not personal. It was a group message. He doesn’t have FB so there is really no way he can see that I’m doing stuff. We don’t have mutual friends either. I know he’s a stubborn man. I also know that if he wanted to he would look for me. I don’t want to lose hope but I’m also scared of hanging on to something that might not happen. He didn’t respond I thought if he wanted to he could of said don’t include me in your texts or something. My friend responded in group message and we agreed to see each other when I go back home this weekend, so he saw that I won’t be around this weekend. Not sure if he might just delete my messages and not read them. Do you think he would read them? He hasn’t heard from me in a while. I was going to say what we are doing but I thought that might me too much and he’ll just assume I’m doing it for him which I would so I just told my GF I’d text her when I get home. It was just one text message from me to her.
admin

July 25, 2014 at 1:55 pm

Be more specific on the behavior that he is confusing you with?
Pat

July 25, 2014 at 4:48 pm

The fact that he’s going to the club with this woman and it feels like he doesn’t care if I see him. Everyone who knew we were together are wondering why he would even do this and they can’t understand why he’s with her and not me. I don’t see him doing anything with her because I haven’t seen him dance but he meets her there or goes with her, when she’s the one that caused all the gossip and was part of our break up. When I’m there he barely talks to her and it’s only when she starts talking with him but she’s by his side. He almost seems to ignore her she dances by herself. Granted I’ve seen him twice since we broke up and the first time he came with his friends than she arrived with hers and was by him all night. The second time it was only them two. Chris I treated him very well I admired who he was, he was the same with me. We hardly ever argued, we just got along. We had a good relationship even intimately it was wonderful. It felt like we were really made for each other. We connected emotionally, physically, and for me spiritually. His distance before we broke up started when he got back from his 2 month tour. Job thing. I still felt he loved me. I was the one who gave him the ultimatum before our break up and he said now I had to live with the consequences. I just feel like we had everything to be happy. I’m a beautiful, intelligent, loving, caring woman. He’s a beautiful intelligent man, he just satisfied my every need. I thought I satisfied him. He loved that I wasn’t moody, that I was practical, and loved how I dressed. He said I was a great woman, and thought I was beautiful. Before he left on tour he said he was so great full to have me in his life. I took care of him when he was sick, I just don’t want to lose hope, but it hurts when I imagine him with this woman. She’s nothing that I ever thought he’d be with. I know looks are not everything but I thought with us looks were just the bonus, and we had everything else. This woman is heavy, parties I don’t even think she’s been married before and apparently she’s been with other men at club. She’s 43, hangs out with mostly gay men. I just wondering if you think this is a rebound thing. Or perhaps I’m just assuming and all he uses her is for sex because he can do as he pleases with her and no commitment? That’s what my gut feeling tells me because of the way he is with her at club. I was his girlfriend and every one saw how he was with me we were happy, danced , he would hold me I was with him. I never imagined stuff like this at my age the gossiping, the jealousy, just don’t get it. I know I pushed because I did seem like a nagging woman but I wanted answers I wished I had just backed away and let him find his way.
admin

July 28, 2014 at 1:55 pm

To me it feels like he is using her for either sex or to make you go crazy.
Pat

July 29, 2014 at 8:12 pm

Well I contacted him almost 30 days no contact he responded not necessarily very negative but wasn’t sure of his response. I think it was not time. I had no choice because I had dialed his phone because I wasn’t sure if he had blocked me he hadn’t I didn’t leave a message so I thought I had to send him a text so he wouldn’t think I was crank calling. I went out of town this weekend and saw a band he loved and text him told him it made me think of him. He replied saying he was there and knew I’d be there because of my texts to my friend. He also said that he was transferred for work there which he had told me before. He said in his text I know you didn’t believe me. I was confused the way he wrote the text and I thought he meant that I was contacting him because I didn’t believe him that he wanted nothing to do with me. I’m not sure why I confused the text. So I said I know you don’t want me in your life It just reminded me of you going to watch band and I said I know you are with woman. I know you’ve moved on and I’m doing the same. He replied said I’m not sure why you don’t believe me that I’m not with her. He said I stopped caring why you think the way you think. He didn’t say don’t contact me again or anything like that but he stopped responding. So I’m not sure what to think if I messed things up. I wrote a text where I said things I’ve done showing him that I know our relationship is over and I I’ve accepted it. That I just thought of him because of that band and it’s the only reason I contacted him. Chris I guess I messed up the first rule and should not have responded to his first response, but I misinterpreted his text. Should I start the no contact again or did I mess up my chance? My parents live where he’s working now 6 hrs driving and his daughter and family live 35 miles from where I live so I know he’ll be coming back and forth. Reading his responses again I realize he was not necessarily unhappy hearing from me. And if he was where I saw the band I’m not sure why he didn’t talk to me except my sister was with me and he knows she doesn’t like him. I did look very good and was having fun so if he arrived it was late and must of left right when band ended otherwise I would have seen him because place is small. Please tell me what you think?
admin

July 30, 2014 at 2:56 pm

I think you hit it on the head with what you said about him not being unhappy hearing from you and maybe being afraid to approach you b/c of your sister haha.
Pat

August 4, 2014 at 5:22 pm

Hi Chris I was hoping foe your opinion when I should contact my ex and how. Should I wait 30 days again or sooner? Thank u
Pat

August 12, 2014 at 4:56 pm

Chris I feel so in the dark about him. I had contact with him but only asked him a question he replied but than I thanked him and he didn’t say anything else. I’ve started no contact again. Except now I feel like it’s difficult for him to know anything about me bc he moved six hours from here. The only person that sees me once in a while is the woman who started the rumors but she’s not gonna tell him about me if she’s still in contact with him. He’s not involved w facebook or anything social. Even though his daughter and family live here I have not seen him for over a month. Even though I can see my fault in the break up I perhaps pressured him for answers bc I didn’t understand why he was distant with me. Is all I did wrong. We had a good relationship before he left on that 2 month tour back in mid February. It’s hard to know if he’s thinking of me. I know he has not told me since our break up not to contact him. I also have not gone a full no contact with him. I know in my heart that he will not have everything he had with me with someone else. We were really a good couple. We had everything to be happy. After almost a year our chemistry was so strong. This break up was a big surprise bc there was really nothing major that happened between us. No big fight just the rumors in the club, and he was a little distant from me. A big plus we were a beautiful couple that everyone complemented us on that. That’s not typical. We just clicked in every way. That’s never happened to me, my ex husband very good looking but we never had that extra thing about us. I want to try to win him back but I want to know what you think and how I should handle things? I usually just move forward after a break up but with this man I feel that we were worth it and we could of had a real future together not sure why I have this hope in me. I know I can meet someone else but I don’t want to love anybody else. That’s how strong I feel we were as a couple. I really feel like it was once in a lifetime thing and I thought he felt the same. I felt his love if that makes sense. My last text I said I was sorry if I accused him of something that was not true, but I only said sorry bc in his text he had told me that I always accused him of stuff. I also said that if someday we had the opportunity to start all over I would give us a chance all over again. Did I mess up with that? Perhaps he does need to feel that I’m completely gone from his life? Should I do full 30 days or less. He’s a stubborn man and he’s very independent. Just want your opinion please. Thank you
admin

August 13, 2014 at 1:50 pm

full 30 days with this fellow!
admin

August 6, 2014 at 2:05 pm

Has he been extra talky to you that youve been in NC? If so, then you can shorten it to 21 days.
Pat

July 30, 2014 at 6:53 pm

Yes but do you think I should do no contact for 30 days again since I messed up by texting him that day at least 3 more times after his last text and they were somewhat long. I was trying to make him see that I’m not trying to not accept that we’re not together. I think I went overboard because he didn’t respond anymore. Plus I didn’t realize he wasn’t talking about us being over he was talking about him moving there for his work. I could kick myself for misinterpreting his text and bringing up that woman. I wish I could of just kept quiet. What do you think I should do? It also just happens that if I do a no contact again it ends on my bday. Also I brought the past the woman, I want to know if you think I can still have a chance at this or does he think now that I haven’t changed with my texting? Should I do no contact again?

Pat

July 9, 2014 at 4:58 pm

I feel very perplexed about this whole situation with him, I don’t think this woman will ever be much other than someone who asks no questions and he can do as he pleases. And she’s there whenever he needs her. I just want to understand his behavior and if there’s even a possibility of reconciliation. When he initially broke up he also said something to the effect that I chose to believe other people and so now I had to live through the consequences. He turned everything and blamed me. Before break up he seemed to get irritated with me easily and at one point said I was too emotional and he couldn’t have that in his kind of work, but was not breaking up with me just wanted me to know that. Said that I didn’t get his point since I had asked if he was breaking up with me. He was still making plans for the future like we were suppose to do an obstacle run in October and train for it. Our break up was something I didn’t think he would do especially how he did it, and how he’s pushed me from his life. He said that we would take care of each other. There was closeness, but when he got back he felt distant.
Stacey

July 9, 2014 at 3:17 am

Hey chris, ive read this article like a million times and executed it perfectly however my results have been backwards. Ive done NC and have yet to make first contact but ive taken steps to be the UG. Today my ex stopped by my mums place to pick something up and when they started to talk about me he said the break was a good thing because i seem to be so much better without him.. This isnt the out come i was going for. Or was it? Is this a good thing chris? And if its not what do i do next??

admin

July 9, 2014 at 2:25 pm

Tell me specifically about what you have been doing to build attraction?
Stacey

July 11, 2014 at 4:27 am

I havent made “first contact” yet but since the break im -15lbs i changed my look slightly to “re introduce myself” as you said in one of your articles (i cut my hair, pierced my nose). I have new hobbies and friends which i skillfully post about on my facebook like you said in your “how to use facebook” article. When he was over to pick this things up i kept it short but told him i was doing well. I told him breifly about my new hobbies to “give him something to daydream about” as you said in kissing 101.
I might be being a bit bold but im kinda a super star as far as taking your advice. Its over 9 weeks and i have yet to slip up and break a rule. But all this and he says im better off without him cause im doing so well. Perhaps if i break NC and make first contact things will be different. But will things really pan out after first contact if he thinks im too good for him and better off without him?

Marina

July 1, 2014 at 2:11 pm

Hi, I want to ask you only one thing. I had 30 days of no contact rule, I tried to contact him after that, he responded politely but nothing happened after that. Now it’s been 3 months since we broke up. I want to ask if I have to unfriend him from facebook. What does the male psychology say about it. Will it ruin everything or it will make him think how I could do that. I want him back but it seems that it’s hopeless.

admin

July 3, 2014 at 12:55 am

Did you do anything to build attraction?
Marina

July 5, 2014 at 10:33 am

Honestly, I don’t know how to do that because it’s obvious that he avoids me like he hates me and doesn’t want to see me ever again (I didn’t cheat on him, he left me because “the spark is gone”). I contacted him 3-4 times, he talked to me politely but when I was in his town, I contacted him if he can come for a drink. He told that he was with his friend. I really think that he doesn’t want to have anything with me. I don’t know what happened in his head, he treats me strange like I left him. He hates me, he avoids me :S

Alicia

June 25, 2014 at 5:55 pm

My husband and I were together for 8 years, we did fight at times, but it wasn’t anything extremely horrible. My husband got a promotion at work and met another women. They only talked about 30 min a day for a month and then he caused fights at home that got bad. One day he just up and left me for her. 3 days later he came back crying saying he loved me and wanted to come home that he had made a mistake, we’ll we split again 4 days later and he goes again and try to have a relationship with her, once again he came back days later confessing his love stating he was only using her to get over me, we lasted again for 2 weeks before he decided he now wants a divorce, now he’s back talking with her. I’m at a lose for words in my life right now, but I think he is just confused. When he went to leave he stayed in my driveway for 20 min watching me cry and couldn’t drive away. We are on day 2 of no contact. I am not sure what to think or do anymore. Any advice or help would be appreciated.

admin

June 26, 2014 at 3:16 pm

Did you read my page on ex husbands?

xyz

June 23, 2014 at 2:11 pm

I want to tell you my stor…we were together for 2 years almost….. its been already a month from our break up. He had left me once earlier in last nov and came back to me in a month and the reason was he was not sure about himself. .a friend of him told him to get out of relationship for doing something real in career… Later he regretted And realized his mistake and came back. I accepted him and we were happy together then suddenly in end of april this year he started behaving weird… I was getting hurt…
I asked him why r u doing this… He said he is in problems ,I asked him tell me may b I can help… He told me it’s too personal everything can’t be shared with your girlfriend. .I respected his personal space… Bt then suddenly on may 1 he told me he needs a break… He is confused about this relationship… I asked him do you love me he said yes… I asked then what’s the problem . he said he loves me bt is not sure about commitment in long run … he may cheat me in future and I can continue with him like this bt I can’t blame him in future if he cheats… I was left speechless .

I had no other option bt to let him go away although there was always a feeling inside me he can’t b like this he is lying so that I can leave him easily.

And then I couldn’t severe all relations with him as we are childhood friends… When he messaged everytime asking how I’m doing….I replied whatever I felt good or bad… Because even after all this I knew this he cares. Although he said as a friend I care… Bt I couldn’t just believe it. In a gap of every 2-3 days we talk

And then suddenly a day I was feeling so bad so I wrote him everything he made me feel… Like how could be tell me he will cheat me atleast that time I was his girlfriend.. To which he felt and told me everything was just a lie..he told me there were problems in his life… I asked him what are the problems.. R u fine now?,., how leaving me solved your problems…. how they are connected to me…. He said I’m not connected. . then I asked you left anyone else except me… He said no…. with his reply I got angry left the chat

But after 2-3 days thing is we respect each other so much I know he is there for Me… He knows I’m there for him… We met in a wedding ceremony he said hi…I couldn’t manage my feelings I Just walked away…

Then he messaged me next day complaining about why I ignored him…. He feels hurt… He hates me for This.. He said everything I wanted him to say from days… I told him I did that because I couldn’t manage… Coz for u I’m your friend bt for Me I love you… And to which he replied I love you too…I miss you each and every day… To me you are everything even after break up… I want to meet you kiss you hug you…

I had tears … He accepted his mistake and said he knows he did wrong he took decisions randomly… And said he doesn’t deserve anything …I should not love him…coz he is afraid of himself he will hurt me again… He is human he can’t take so much burden…

I told him don’t be afraid you deserve everything… Why dont you trust our feelings more than your fears… He said I Just can’t get into all this again… Although he cares the same…. And from this day I’m again into depression crying all day

One thing I know is I love him for life… He loves me too…bt his guilt has taken over him…. He realized his mistake bt is not doing anything to make it right… We deserve to be together… Please help me….please how to get him back :'(

admin

June 24, 2014 at 6:31 pm

How long did you date total?

How long have you been in contact or no contact for?
xyz

June 24, 2014 at 8:29 pm

We dated for 2 yrs and from 2 days I have not contacted him because I asked him to meet me causally and he didn’t replied even once to say a yes or no
xyz

June 24, 2014 at 8:32 pm

We broke up on may 1 since then we are in contact like atleast we know what’s happening in our lives but yeah we are not strangers nor we can be friends although he closings we are friends he loves me as a friend but he can’t see me as a friend only
xyz

June 26, 2014 at 10:09 am

Please help me fast or time will run out of my hand
xyz

June 27, 2014 at 7:41 pm

Please Chris reply soon
xyz

June 23, 2014 at 2:17 pm

And now he is even more changed he has started ignoring me I asked to meet up he didn’t even replied , he can ask Me to send him my new pictures and also can send me his pics when I ask easily which earlier was a task bt he is not ready to b in relationship. I messaged him that I’m sorry for begging you to b in relationship with me I forgot that I was all on my knees bt you didn’t gave me my right what you should have on your own I told him if you love you should love without being afraid and only you have to stop it , to which he replied only a smiley “:)”
xyz

June 23, 2014 at 2:19 pm

And by now it’s almost 2 months with our break up bt we do talk in every 4-5 days and I always cry and he replies according to his will

Nova

June 21, 2014 at 8:50 pm

Hi Chris
So this is a shot in the dark cus me and this particular ex have been seperated for 2 years with almost no talk (we kinda had friends, school, parties, and a club in common). Soo many things have happened but the main points: after a few months he asked my bff if i was still in love with him (to which she denied), he was staring at me and this guy i was talking to at this party (according to a friend and my observation), he ended up dating one of my bestest friends, needless to say i was distanced from my group. Theres a lot of in betweeners and weird details that led me to believe he still loves me although he seems really happy with his gf. Anyways, the trippiest thing, the last day of school i was just leaning on the wall waiting on my councilour to finish signing my yearbook when the bell rings, everyone passes by, then I see my ex just slowing down and he just sorta stopped and stared at me i swear for like longer than acceptable (for an ex). I felt so awkward, i couldnt even look at him, i was looking straight ahead to his side. Which was stupid. This was my last chance to ask. We are both with someone at the time but i guess feelings might linger. Theres a kickback coming up that we’re both invited to (his gf aka my ex bff is probably gonna be there and she HATES my guts and errbody knows) but this might be my last chance to ask him, i finally grew the balls to do this cus 2 years is waay too long and im done with playing games and hs drama, im being treated for depression so this isnt a game for me. I wanna ask him why he stared at me the last day of school. Idk if i’ll catch him alone (his gf is like a puppy esp. when im around) but do u think this is a good idea? This might be the last time i see him. Would he stare at me just randomly and not have any feelings whatsoever? Are things waay too fucked to fix? What should I do?

admin

June 22, 2014 at 3:42 pm

No, he is staring at you probably b/c he still has feelings.

How old is he?
Nova

June 23, 2014 at 9:16 am

18. Im nervous about confronting him cus he seems so happy with his life :/

Sara S

June 20, 2014 at 4:41 pm

Hey chris, my ex and I dated for a month only, i know it is weird but thats what happened. He is with me in same university and we have alot of friends in common. And the reason for the break up was he said he can’t take responsibilty of a relationship this early. Because i was his first and he never knew any dos or donts and it always pissed me off. We have a 3 months vacation now until we go back to uni. We are different countries atm. After the break up though we spoke a couple of times like nothing happened, a very chilled talk. Its been a week now for the break up.

Sara S

June 22, 2014 at 4:21 pm

Chris i need help /:

Hey chris, my ex and I dated for a month only, i know it is weird but thats what happened. He is with me in same university and we have alot of friends in common. And the reason for the break up was he said he can’t take responsibilty of a relationship this early. Because i was his first and he never knew any dos or donts and it always pissed me off. We have a 3 months vacation now until we go back to uni. We are different countries atm. After the break up though we spoke a couple of times like nothing happened, a very chilled talk. Its been a week now for the break up.
admin

June 23, 2014 at 2:04 pm

Well, have you tried a shortened NC period?
Sara S

June 24, 2014 at 1:56 pm

It has been a week now and we haven’t talked at all after the normal chill talk. However, he likes my photos on instagram and all that. He is the very chilled carefree type. I want him to regret doing that and not being resoponsible enough to handle a relationship. When i go back to uni and i hangout with his friends because they are my friends as well, i will surely say ‘hi’ and all that, but do I keep it formal ?
And for now i will not communicate with him at all right ?
Sara S

June 25, 2014 at 12:12 pm

It has been a week now and we haven’t talked at all after the normal chill talk. However, he likes my photos on instagram and all that. He is the very chilled carefree type. I want him to regret doing that and not being resoponsible enough to handle a relationship. When i go back to uni and i hangout with his friends because they are my friends as well, i will surely say ‘hi’ and all that, but do I keep it formal ?
And for now i will not communicate with him at all right ?
Sara S

June 26, 2014 at 5:51 pm

I really need help!
admin

June 29, 2014 at 4:30 pm

Ok, lets take this one step at a time. What is the very first thing you need help with?
Sara S

June 30, 2014 at 1:14 pm

I first need to know, now that it has been two weeks and he is so chill about. I should not contact him at all ? But till when? We’ve got 2 months for summer to end and go back to uni.

Second thing is, once I go back uni, how am I supposed to act ? All of his friends are my friends and i will be seeing him alot. Theree a table where we all chill at everyday in uni.
Sara S

July 2, 2014 at 4:47 pm

Chris im so frustrated
admin

July 3, 2014 at 1:02 am

Whats up? How can I help?

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