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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Brittany Williams
January 12, 2014 at 8:30 am
Your website i can truley say saved my crying spell… this may help me. Well atleast i hope:/ me and him been together 5 years almost we have a son. We broke up before but i felt like i came to him. Now its been almost 2 days for NC we brokE up friday over a nasty argument and i told him to leave bevause he been threatning me lately saying he will leave & he really means it hes tired of being unhappy …if i dont start getting my life together. And do something withit. So he really did leave :(:( and im wonder if this is officially it but something tells me in my gut its not we will be together but i have to do the nc rule and start working and i deactivated fb too so he has no clue what im up too… even tho he said we were done he made love to me the night before he left… what do you think? As long as i follow your rules ill see some results? Thank u so much! He is on this high horse right now… so ill let him be on it while i do the nc rule
What if i told him out of anger “i swear to god on everything i love if u move out dont ever come back!!!!! ” do u think he will if i stick to it?
admin
January 12, 2014 at 6:21 pm
I think if you said that out of anger it probably hurt him but deep down he realizes it was from a place of anger and not how you truly feel.
Doris
January 12, 2014 at 1:55 am
Hi Chris,
The thing happen between my ex and I were quite complicated.
We broke up at the day after Boxing Day. Both of our parents arrived in December to discuss about wedding (I thought initially) but the truth is his parents don’t fond of me. They asked him to cut me off and he did. He said he’s so tired of me as I have a bad temper. But I still loved him so much and don’t know what I should do now.
I searched so many sites and found yours but nothing about how to get his parents approved. Especially his father is very stubborn. One more thing is we are going to Fiji on 24th Jan though we broke up but the trip was booked and non-refundable.
I am seeking for help.
Doris
Brittany Williams
January 12, 2014 at 8:35 am
One thing i can say is still do the nc rule just give it a try…. he will soon relize wow not even what my parents can say will make me NOT love this girl i love her weather they do or not!!!
Good luck to u as well with me! Lol this is my first time i hope it works
Zheart
January 11, 2014 at 5:32 pm
I swear he is using this site (or another one) on me! NC for a while, then “I miss you. A little” We chat nicely. Then he gets quiet. Then tests the waters to see if I respond to something sexual (I did against better judgment/failed). He fusses/I fuss back. I give in a little/regret my decision, then delete my decision. He gets scared, I guess, and chats on Facebook. I think to make sure I’m not totally pissed at/done with him (I never am/sucks). I FB chat and he doesn’t respond. Is he playing games/keeping me dangling? I HATE HIM/please help. Thank you/smile.
admin
January 12, 2014 at 5:03 am
Hahahaha if he is using this site then that means he probably wants you back.
I think he is being moody. Sometimes he wants to talk and sometiems he doesn’t.
Liuping
January 11, 2014 at 2:39 pm
I purchased your ebook. I sent you an email to ask question last month. But I never seen your reply me.:(
admin
January 12, 2014 at 4:59 am
What was your question?
I am happy to answer it here.
Neenee
January 11, 2014 at 1:55 pm
I did Nc once and we started dating again for about 5 months. He still didn’t want to commit and he was acting different. I got emotional and I told him that I was done with him. I broke up with him orginally. I regret it :(. He answers and of my text and when I call but I think I became insecure again. What should I do? Things were going good, but I felt that I was fallin into the friends with benefits zone. We talked everyday but I would only see him in his terms and to have sex. When we first started dating again we were actually going in dates up until November. What should I do now? I have contacted him since Thursday.
admin
January 12, 2014 at 4:58 am
Finish out your 30 days I guess.
Beenee
January 19, 2014 at 5:48 am
I did NC already.
virgo
January 11, 2014 at 1:22 pm
what if he did not even contact me right after the break up? we’ve been together for 2 years and he suddenly dissapear. he just stop contacting me. but he don’t even contact me right after he’s gone. the last text i got from him was 4 weeks after his gone. he said “i will miss you”
Alyssa
January 11, 2014 at 12:47 pm
Dear Chris,
My boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. We started to try to just be friends, but I was the only one reaching out and starting conversations. I’m trying to distance myself from him, but we go to the same school, and have some of the same classes. We also share the same close knit group of friends. No contact has literally become impossible. I love him, more than words could express. We fell in love so fast, it was so passionate and all consuming, then it just ended, three months later. I’ve known him for seven years, I have complete and utter faith that we are meant to be together. But how do I get him back when the most vital part of all these guides to work, I cannot accomplish?
admin
January 12, 2014 at 4:55 am
What do you mean you cannot get them to work?
Alyssa
January 12, 2014 at 1:29 pm
I can’t get away from him. Your emphasis on no contact is so important, but I’m in some of the same classes as him, and we share a lot of the same friends who always want to go out as a group. How am I supposed to do no contact without being rude and ignoring him right to his face?
Brenda
January 11, 2014 at 12:29 pm
Hey Chris!
I followed the steps pretty well i would say and went into NC as taught. My ex proposed to meet up so that i can see his renovated basement and i insisted that we also go for a FRIENDLY dinner because I dont want to get physical. However, i received a sextext from him as a reply. How do I reply to that….?
Thank you,
Brenda
admin
January 12, 2014 at 4:55 am
I guess you don’t reply to it.
Brenda
January 12, 2014 at 6:33 am
I ignored and he appologized saying he was half asleep and hope he did not offend me. Should i reply to that one?
Teresa
January 11, 2014 at 11:29 am
Hi chris. I started the no contact rule and within one week I got a text asking how I was, I replied saying I was ok how are you, he told me was going through a lot of stuff with the ex, then I left it, I did text him a week later and he replied, again I then left it, I then saw him last night while out and we chatted, we ended up chatting about us and although he resisted any temptation to give in, I could see small signs of still liking me, the way he looked at me etc and nudging me, and some of his mannerisms that I got to know, he said (we were both quite drunk) I would rather talk about this when sober, so I asked if he would agree that we met on mutual ground to just talk , he did agree, when I got home I realised I had said far to much about him and I and I wish I hadn’t, I have sent a text today saying if he still wants to meet I would like it too and if he would prefer that we didn’t talk about us and just had a nice chat and a laugh (which we both need) that was ok too…
So what do I do now? He may text me, he may not, do I still have chance to start the NC again from today if I don’t hear from him? One important thing is that he is going though a nightmare breakup and divorce and wants to just enjoy himself for a while, he has said that I shouldn’t wait for him, but I can still see the feelings are there, I do understand he needs space and time, but I also don’t want to miss out on a chance with this man Who is so lovely, who likes me too and that we could miss out? (We were only together for two months, the split was friendly and agreeable, we had an amazing time while together, I have met other men but I just know something is different about this one, even if we do never get back together
So in his situation do you think the regret thing could happen for him? And that I should try and move on and hope that one day if its meant to be it will be? Thank you
admin
January 12, 2014 at 4:56 am
You aren’t supposed to reply in NC…
Gem
January 11, 2014 at 8:53 am
Hey- So ex turned up on my doorstep 3 and a half weeks ago and has stayed by his own efforts all but 4 nights. He’ll make up excuses to have to come round, like he’s left something here he needs.. Ok, so he’s back, but not commited… So now how do I get him to ‘stay’… Keep doing what I’m doing(letting him make his own mind up. Carrying on with my life with or without him/treating him like a completely brand new and different relationship/person) or do I start laying down some boundaries as it’s easy to fall back into the trap of letting things go so he’ll feel he can come and go as he pleases?!
admin
January 12, 2014 at 4:51 am
I guess you have to have a talk with him where you won’t be “his” unless he commits.
Sometimes in order to get the guy you have to be willing to lose the guy.
Lisa Swan
January 11, 2014 at 4:52 am
I always read your articles but I never leave a comment, because I know you might be so overwhelmed by other replies already, but I want to take the time to thank you for your great articles and advice. You really are gifted and insightful (:
I’ve been meaning to follow your advice for the last 16 days but the problem is that I have chronic depression (it’s a real medical condition- because my body can’t produce the “happy” chemical reactions in my fingertips- due to a very long period {8 years} of a difficult situation) and this makes it difficult for me to think clearly and I’m basically zombie like.
My ex boyfriend and I have been appart for 21 days now, and he insisted that we still talk because even though it was my fault that he left me (I want to be clear that I did nothing intentionally and that he just had the wrong perception, but anyway).
And then a few days ago I got fed up with him because it became clear that he basically expected me to kiss his feet and text first. So when I started ignoring him (not texting first) he texted first. I made the mistake of talking to him, and then it started again. And I’m still fed up. I’m angry, but I decided to use it to do something positive and constructive. Today I start the first of my 30 day NC period (see, I even used the acronym! {; )
Do you think it’s too late to start?
I already started exercising again, even though admittedly I didn’t really need it (but I want to because I like it for making me able to think clearer).
I’ve also started looking after my skin again because admittedly when I get depressed or stressed I take it out by basically scratching my face and back until it’s not so pretty anymore. I even have little scars as memoirs if frustration and depression. Because for those very long years from when my chronic depression developed, I had no one to talk to, and I had no way to express my negative feelings positively (because I didn’t know how).
Today though, my family has never been stronger, or closer, because eventually we were able to handle our situation with a positive outlook. You’re probably curious about what the situation is. Yes, is, not was. Our little situation began with a little bundle of joy that was later diagnosed with autism. That being said, I still wouldn’t trade my little brother for the world. We’ve all learned that sometimes, we can’t change things and that it’s better to accept and be positive about what you have, than be negative about what you don’t have.
As I wrote that I realised that I’ve forgotten that for the last couple of days, and that I’m going to be okay either way. The most important life lesson is the one that my family and I have already learned (even though we kearn new things everyday anyway). There was a time when I was an atheist (but I was raised as a Christian) because I believed that God didn’t want anything from me anyway because it felt like everything was just miserable anyway. That being said, the instant that I decided that, I instantly could feel that God was trying to call me back. It’s that little inner voice, that I’ve learned to appreciate. After a long time, one of my friends actually got me saved! (: and she didn’t even try anything! She was just there for me, and radiated all of the amazing qualities of Jesus.
We were chatting one night and her status was on “in love,” so I asked her who was the lucky guy, and she just had to say one word and I broke down and cried. She just said “Jesus.” And from then on I’ve been a happy born again Christian. I’ve seen the works of God in my life first hand because I’ve learned to study and take everything appart, like you mentioned that you do in the above article. This has made my life more fulfilled.
So today I rarely use any medication for my depression, even right now I’m not using anything. Because I’ve learned to deal with so many things now, it positively influences me every day.
Do you think that I could also use this to get healed over time?
Because genuinely my heart is beyond broken, he was really everything that I could have ever wanted, and he actually told his and my family, and his friends, straight off the back that we were going to get married within the next two years. And whenever we went hiking he even brought along one of those slasher things that you cut grass with to clear the path for me because I’m actually allergic to grass…of all things!!
Our relationship was always positive, and literally, we’ve always just been better together. My ex even admitted that to me after he broke up with me.
I think we’ve fought like two times ever, but in the middle of the fight one of us would always just drop it and say that it’s unnecessary and that we should just stop and move on because it’s not worth fighting. I know, I know. Unresolved issues. But here’s the thing: this actually fixed everything between us because we’re both non-conflict people. The issue resolved itself for is just because we decided that it’s better to love someone than to fight with them because life’s too short. We handled everything with understanding and love, and it’s always been exactly what we’ve both needed.
Do you think that there’s a chance for us to get back together again?
And again, thank you for you amazing insight!
I know that you’ve blessed so many lives with your advice, and that you’ve been a blessing for everyone in your life.
Lots of blessings,
Lisa
admin
January 12, 2014 at 4:45 am
Hahaha I am like you. Whenever I read an article I never comment but I am always reading.
Thanks for the comment and I am sorry you have the chronic depression :(.
I think there is a chance but right now the focus needs to be on you over him.
missK
January 11, 2014 at 4:10 am
Hi Chris, I tried the NC rule for 15 days (hardest thing I have ever done haha!) and my ex and I are on speaking terms now but basically he hasn’t changed his mind about breaking up, on his words he says he loves me and that he knows that I am as good as it gets and that I am the best person to ever cross his life blablabla BUT he says that right now he needs to grow and that he feels like he doesn’t deserve me yet and he promised that once he was emotionally and financially stable that he will look for me but that for now he can’t be in a relationship… :/ it just leaves me thinking WHEN WHEN WHEN is that going to be and if there is anything I can do to erase those BS excuses out of his head.. I never made him feel like he wasn’t enough not even close, our fighting was mostly about him spending more time playing sports than with me *sigh* then he broke it up saying he is too immature for me… My honest opinion is that he felt the relationship becoming some sort of “responsibility” and he just wanted to free himself… He blames it completely on him, I feel like this is going to take a loooong time… What do you think I should do… Give him more space and time I guess… Do I have a chance meaning will he come back in less than a couple months 2, 3? Should I even bother? We broke up on November 14 so it has been 2 months now.
admin
January 12, 2014 at 4:41 am
Well, if you put a timeline on the process… things tend to not go well.
missK
January 11, 2014 at 4:17 am
We were together for 2 years if it makes any difference :’)
missK
January 11, 2014 at 4:23 am
He also says he is in pain too and misses me a lot, so I am confused why is he being so stubborn then? Sorry too many questions I know!
Sarah Badurina
January 10, 2014 at 10:58 pm
Im going through a really hard time right now, my first kiss first boyfriend first everythingfirst love broke up with me because he misses being single. Weve dated for 2 years, and he just broke up woth me recently and im not taking it well. Could you email me personally i really need help
Nikki
January 10, 2014 at 10:12 pm
Love your website and the e-book! Currently on day 13 of NC, reading lots and taking lots of mental notes to put into practice when my 30 days are up… 🙂
rach
January 10, 2014 at 2:16 pm
Hey Chris!
Well I think I’m finally at a point where I 100% feel like I’m where you say “you gotta get over him in order to get him back!” And I have to admit, not only do I feel so much better about everything but my ex is seriously coming around! (Yes, feel free to say “I told you so” haha!) The one thing that is crazy to me that I honestly didn’t expect is that I’m getting kind of a newness feeling from this. As tho if we got back together, it would be those same intense feelings you get when you’re first starting out with someone! Everything feels so much more natural too. I don’t know if he’s feeling the same or what’s going on in his head but at least I know he is feeling positively about me and that he truly does still care for me. This guide of yours in particular I believe is really one of your best, it really hit home because I think my ex may have a little regret now and hopefully I can feed that feeling and he’ll come around a little more. Now if only I could sit you down and pick your awesome brain over some of the conversations I’ve had with my ex lately, that would be amazing! Haha! I will definitely keep reading your guides tho, I appreciate everything you put on here.
admin
January 11, 2014 at 1:53 am
I TOLD YOU SO!!!!
😉
Brooke
January 10, 2014 at 8:01 am
Thanks Chris, I just came across your website and I’m so glad I did. I thoroughly enjoyed this guide.
I wish I had have stumbled across it earlier before I bordered along the lines of a text gnat :S My ex and I have a young baby together so we still hang out regularly and get a long nicely, there’s even still some chemistry -I catch him making sneaky looks at me (I looked after my figure since our baby) but I did get heated with him last time he called me and told him I felt like he didn’t appreciate all I do to keep him involved with our child. Anyway I got a lil annoyed and told him he can make the effort to contact me now. He agreed and before this he was asking me if I was dating and if I had time for a relationship. He seemed to hang on my answer haha
Do you think if I apply your teachings I can reattract him again despite my precious mistakes?
admin
January 11, 2014 at 1:47 am
I am glad you got something out of it.
I am so happy this is getting so much attention!
I think you can yes. It won’t be easy but you can do it.
Brooke
January 11, 2014 at 9:42 pm
Thank you! I’m going to invest in your Ebook next week 🙂 I started NC and I am now on day 11 I don’t even feel tempted to contact him – I’m stubborn so for me NC is not something I feel I will break.
Since discovering your site I have read every article & you have given me faith and restored my confidence. When I purchase your Ebook would you in invite me to approach you to update you on my progress or if I hit a hiccup?
Love your work Chris 😀 Thank you, thank you, thank you!
admin
January 12, 2014 at 5:04 am
Yes go for it but I recommend asking me stuff on the site b/c I am admittedly a little flaky on emails now-a-days b/c it is very overwhelming and I need to maintain some sanity.
Brooke
January 12, 2014 at 9:11 pm
Thanks Chris 🙂 haha yes I know what you mean with emails 🙂
I hope you do get to give your self some “sanity days off”
admin
January 13, 2014 at 6:10 pm
Usually the weekends are for that but lately I still do stuff on the weekends.
Nic
January 10, 2014 at 5:33 am
Hi Chris,
would this sort of thing work – the getting him to regret letting you go, even if YOU were the one that originally left him? (Taking into account the reason for leaving wasn’t due to lack of feelings anymore, but more his taking you for granted)
admin
January 11, 2014 at 1:39 am
I think an argument can be made that he would regret not having you more if you were the one who broke it off.
Nic
January 11, 2014 at 2:33 am
Cheers, thanks for your replay…
🙂
Shawnte
January 9, 2014 at 10:51 pm
Hi Chris,
Chante here.
This was REALLY good!
But what if my ex already has a new girlfriend that screens his calls and is always around?? Oh, I’m currently on day 47 of No contact because this woman is constantly around!
admin
January 10, 2014 at 2:38 am
Wow, this new girlfriend sounds like the gestapo…
That might come back to bite her.
Kate
January 9, 2014 at 9:34 pm
this article was so timely! things had been going so well– my ex messaged me again and said he missed talking to me, he missed me in general, and that letting me go was the biggest mistake he had made in his life. I was so happy.
but… I wonder if I was too aloof during the interactions. I was nice, and I said I missed him too, but I didn’t make the kind of romantic overtures that he did. and later on after he called me on the phone, we were FB chatting and he was a little weird… as though he were losing interest in the conversation. that was two days ago. do you think I have completely messed this up by playing hard to get? I don’t want it to be easy for him, but I don’t want him to think that I don’t care for him anymore either.
Thank you!!! xo
admin
January 11, 2014 at 1:23 am
Oh that makes me so happy to hear.
I don’t think you have completely messed up but don’t become so hard to get that he never tries. You know?
Kate
January 11, 2014 at 4:43 am
makes sense! I think I’ll reach out to him again this week. thank you Chris!
meriem
January 9, 2014 at 7:44 pm
hi chris i did no contact and then everything between us was okey until he said that he want to see me and then i over reacted and i think i blow it because he canceled our date not one but 3 times so i was confused and i lost control so we fight 2 times and yesterday we were talking on fb and he felt that i was jealous he asked me why so i said i don’t know but i still get annoyed when i see a girl talking to you that way he said noo you should forget what happened happened and it’s over so i thought that he want me to move on so i asked him one more time are we going to meet he said” i have to work in another town for 8 months before i go we will meet definitly” so i said okey.then i said don’t bring anything to me ( because he was talking about bringing something beautiful to me when we meet ) but i was shocked because he get really angry and said “why you don’t want anything from me now!! you really changed it’s like i’m your enemy, but don’t worry i will not give you anything” and then he left. what do you think why he was so angry when he was the one who want me to forget everything and move on!!!!!!!
meriem
January 9, 2014 at 7:46 pm
another question is there hope for me to get him back after this especially that we will see each other soon or i should just move one like he said!!