5 Powerful Methods To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Losing You

1,759 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go”

Clueless

October 2, 2016 at 10:40 pm

Hello guys!
I’m writing to you because I feel kind of clueless right now. The story is this one… A month and a half ago my ex asked me for a break, he told me that he needed to think about what was going on his life and said he needed some space. We already broke up once and it was in such a similar way that I told him I didn’t understand why he needed that break, that he should just tell me if he wanted to be with me or not. He asked me for that time and finally I agreed. A week passes by and he started to go out with those friends I wasn’t too happy about, and then I realized he stopped following me on Instagram. That day I texted him that of course I got the message of his.doings so I.just said that I wished for him a happy life and whatever. He just said that he needed to be honest, that he was feeling at ease and relaxed by himself. From that they on, we had to talk because he had some concert tickets of mine, but all the time he was the one that initiated the conversation and I was kind of monosyllabic… 2 weeks passed and he sent my stuff along with a letter, basically it said that he needed some time alone that hopefully I would understand, but that it was the time to put an ending point to our relation. I made the mistake to replay back and we ended in a mean chain of emails, with he saying he never wanted to hear from me again. I sent him one more letter telling him that I didn’t wanted to end things as bad, that I really cared for him and wished him the best, he replayed back with a song and I left feeling at peace with us. The weekend next to this he drunk text me that he missed me but I totally ignored him. The next week I found out we has seeing my instagram because he liked one of my photos, and with this new “story” tool in the app I started to find out that he checks my profile everyday. This has been happening for about a week, but I also found out that he has been seeing this new girl…. I’m clueless here, I miss him and want him back, I’ve tried the NC rule, but why is he doing what he is doing? What should I do?

Clueless

October 11, 2016 at 2:21 am

Well, it’s been almost 30 days. And yes he sent me the tickets with the letter I told you about. I don’t know if I should keep posting stuff in Instagram knowing that he is checking it constantly. Is that a good sign? What should I do now?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 9:48 am

yep that’s a good sign. He should think that you are moving on and improving.. You can initiate contact.. just don’t be too forward and don’t mention anything about the other girl.. because you would look like you’re stalking him
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 5, 2016 at 6:57 pm

Hi Clueless,
you said you already tried the no contact rule, how long did you do it? And what about the concert tickets, did you get it? The girl might be a rebound, but for me the better choice is still to start doing the no contact rule and focus on improving and healing yourself.

Sanya

October 2, 2016 at 3:52 pm

Hiii
Well me n my exbf ….good together…his constant need for physical n I used to deny…he started departing… Then due to small misunderstanding n his ego issues he felt humiliated n stopped talking to me for 2 months..I kept on persuading him for 2 months…then he talked for 15 days n we had sex…n then he left widout a call or text…he just answered he is busy wid conferences… Now I m doing no contact…its almost 28days but no call or text from him…I feel so demeaning… I want him to regret n realize his mistake…why he did sex when he no intension to b wid me…it was 1st time for me n him too..still he forgot me so quick..I want him to ask me back in his life..how to do it…n I hve exam in next 2 months..its an entrance exam..pls help

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 5, 2016 at 10:48 am

hi Rhea,
it’s ok, you didnt break the no contact rule.. how much have you improved yourself?

Winter

October 1, 2016 at 5:44 pm

My ex and I broke up last February and went back together in May. The thing is we were not yet official so we made a deal not to date other people instead. He said he is in love with me but he is not yet ready for commitment. Anyway, we had a fight and he said he needs to think. I’ve done NC and he told me he thinks he can’t do this anymore. He also told me he is not in love with me anymore, that his feelings have disappeared again. This isn’t the first time he fell out of love. It’s like a pattern of his. I don’t know if I was too needy because I was pestering him to reply on my messages. I would often bring out that pattern and he gets angry if I do so. I want to give this another go but I don’t know how.

Winter

October 14, 2016 at 12:32 am

I saw a girl tagged a photo with him in Facebook. I know the caption clearly stated that he is her coffee and food buddy but I couldn’t help but feel hurt and jealous. Now I start to think there is defintely someone else.
Winter

October 12, 2016 at 8:31 am

UPDATE: He liked my latest post in Facebook. But I did not do the same when he shared a post.
Winter

October 5, 2016 at 1:03 pm

Hi Amor. I did it twice. Once when he and I broke up last February. And another last month. My NC finished at October 1st. I think his faltering feelings have something to do with work. He’s a workaholic you see and he has not post something in Facebook and Instagram lately. Plus, he and his family just moved to a new house so things are probaly hectic for him.

Should I do longer NC? Like 60 days?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 7, 2016 at 2:28 pm

Yeah, but more important he has to think you have your own life while you are building rapport with him so, that he won’t see you as another responsibility in his life.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 4, 2016 at 5:34 pm

Hi Winter,

how many times have you done no contact and did you do it properly?

Erin

October 1, 2016 at 3:21 pm

Hi,

I am in a difficult situation where my ex and I live together and they broke up with me exactly a month ago. Unfortunately I have made the biggest mistake in begging and pleading for them to come back. Now we live together for the next 7 months. It is very clear that they are moving on in talking to other people to feel the void our broken relationship has left. I know I have personal issues to deal with but I am afraid that in the process of doing so, I will lose them for good. Any advice on how to turn this around since no contact is hard to do in seeing eachother everyday?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 4, 2016 at 4:36 pm

Hi Erin,

Check this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Lea

September 27, 2016 at 7:21 am

Hello,
My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. I made every mistake in the book, breaking no contact, attempting to be friends, and having sex with him. The last time we talked was last Tuesday and we are not on the best terms but the last text I sent him was wishing him the best and telling him I had no hard feelings. I found out from a friend that he’s been hanging out with another girl.. I’m wondering how all of this will work if he’s distracted by someone else? He told me he didn’t want another relationship for a long time with anyone but I don’t know what to think.

Lea

September 28, 2016 at 11:09 pm

Yes, I plan on doing the no contact rule and I am already 8 days in. I know it’s more for my benefit but I just don’t see how he will regret leaving if he’s pursuing someone else already.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 30, 2016 at 5:48 pm

The no contact rule can help increase your chances of making him miss because of your absence but, the more important thing is your improvement. Because he will compare you and the other girl and even if he doesn’t compare you to the other girl, you still have to improve. Because you need to be different than the girl he broke up with.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2016 at 1:23 pm

Hi Lea,
If he’s with someone else, the all the more reason that you have to stop chasing him.. Are you going to do the no contact rule and what’s advised above?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 23, 2016 at 9:33 am

Yeah, because in a way you’re letting him know that you’re still checking in on him
sakura

September 23, 2016 at 9:07 am

Hi… my ex is a divorced guy with a kid. He is some years older than me. He divorced his wife some years ago because she cheated on him. I met him online in a small online chat group created by a girl, A. I was a friend of A. I met A online as well, through an FB discussion group. She created the chat group apparently to approach him and later on I heard that my ex at that time was approaching her as well (they both were shy or whatever). When A added me to that chat group, my ex immediately approached me. Within days, he asked me to be his gf. A month later, he proposed to marry me. Me, being 36 years old, single, desperate to get married, accepted the proposal. He then met my parent and asked their permission to marry me. We agreed to marry within a couple of months (he wanted it asap). Soon after, I learned that he started manipulating me financially. My income is 4x his. At first I didn’t mind that he has much lower income. When he asked help in a subtle way, I always fulfill his request. So I transferred a lot of money to him, so he and his daughter’s life is better off. His daughter lives with her mum, a few km from my ex. When we were planning the marriage, I decided to leave him, because he started flirting with A. It seems that he found that she is more intelligent and I made him bored, sometimes he would even brought her to our conversation, it made me hurt. I was most of the time concentrating my focus and energy on my career, so I don’t have much time chatting with him, and they both were interested in political discussion etc. When A organised gathering, he always joined the gathering. Then, their gathering photos would appear online in the group. A looked like still crazy about him and flirted with him in the chat group even though she knew we were together (but we didn’t tell anyone yet that we were planning marriage at that time). So, I left him because I feel I could not handle my jealousy and feel that he was only with me because he needed financial support. Shortly after, A left the group chat because she was involved in a heated discussion with a friend of us. My ex and I was still in the same group chat. I became friends with all the other, they are nice people. A couple of months after I broke our engagement, my ex asked me to get back with him. In that chat group, there was one guy who was approaching me, I guess my ex could see it. About the same time my ex asked me back, that guy asked me to be his gf. In my heart, I feel like I still like my ex so I was inclined to come back to him. So I rejected that other guy and said yes to my ex. He then said that his ex wife was fired from the job and he was struggling financially. He told me heartbreaking stories like how his daughter told him they could not even afford gas to cook. So without thinking, I transferred him money. He said let’s get married soon, I said yes. A couple of days later, he was seducing me sexually via text. I was at first confused, because he is a conservative Muslim. Well then I got carried away. I sent him photo of me in bikini, which was taken when I was still studying in Europe. He knew that I had one ex boyfriend in my whole life, whom I met in Europe, but as I said I never slept with him. Well, when he saw that bikini pic on a beach, he suddenly dumped me. He said, they way I dress is so vulgar and he suspected that I slept with my ex. He could not accept my explanation and then ignoring all my messages and texts. Well, a couple of weeks later, he became together with that girl, A. And A was like, taking everything publicly. She made everyone knows that she and my ex were dating. My friends in the group chat shocked and started resented him. They completely ignored him and sided by me. They started dating in July and I felt my ego was crushed. I tried to move on by leaving the group chat. But my friends didn’t accept that, instead adding me back, and kicked him out of the group, rrr. I never asked them to do so. Well, past one month, my best friend in that group has been telling me that it seems their relationship was doomed (I unfriended my ex and A on Facebook so I could not follow their statuses). Well, a couple of weeks ago, he called me! He asked me, why was he kicked out from our group chat. I said, dunno, I had nothing to do with it. I actually I myself surprised that my friends kicked him out. So well we chat on the phone for about one hour, he didn’t seem angry or whatever, but at the end of the conversation, I asked him, so are you still together with her, and is everything ok? And he said yes. So I guess they’re still together?? Then he never contacted me again. I have been using the no contact rule. Well, past some months, I was still checking his “last seen” status like 100 times a day. He was normally, most of the time, slept at around 10 PM. I bought a new phone last week, add him on my contact, so I can check his “last seen” status, without appearing online on my other phone. Well, past one week, he has been like, let say, has no sleep. Sometimes when I woke up in the morning, I found his last seen was at 1 or 2 or 3 AM. I feel bad, if he was actually thinking of me. And my best friend says, that other girl went crazy and posting desperate messages on her FB wall which he ignored (in the past, he liked all her statuses). My question is, why am I doing this? Is he good or bad for me? Should I wait for him? This has been disturbing my concentration at work. Btw, A is same age with him (42) and single, and her career is not that good, she still rents a room somewhere (has no own home in that age), but she lives in the same city with him, while I live 3 hours away from them. She is also very intelligent in daily discussion. I do not feel secure if one day I have to come back to him. Please advise me. I don’t have much experience in relationship, still virgin at my age, and feel totally lost. Also, I think she is more beautiful than me (physically). Thx.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 24, 2016 at 9:26 am

Hi Sakura,

well, more probably because he made you feel appreciated but you should move on from him. He’s using your for your money.. How many times do you meet new people in a month? New people with the same interest as yours? Do you volunteer, join new short classes, or arrange groups of the same hobbies as yours or join in one? Try that.. Widen your world. You don’t have to be all chatty or friendly, just meet new people

Tammy

September 22, 2016 at 8:20 pm

Hi.
Thank ever so much for reaching out to us all around the globe.very kind of you.

My story is a little different.i have always secretly had feelings for this guy.we’re both mutual friends of friends.I confided in my friend and her husband whom he is closest to about my feelings for him hoping they would help initiate something but they did nothing about it.so I left it.but all along I watched him from a distance and wished he were my man.
Fast forward three years later,As fate would have it,it was my friends daughters 4th year birthday and as usual we were all invited over.for the first time he noticed me (or so I thought )as I was wearing my natural hair out(I soon found out he had a thing for girls with natural hair).and I summoned up the courage to hug him and saying hello.i don’t know what it was that night but the attraction,feelings,emotions was really intense on both sides.i couldn’t look into his eyes.we ended up staying up all night,talking,giggling,tickling,getting to know each other (This was after everyone had left and my friend and her husband had gone to bed)..we even gave each other back massages!i was on cloud 9 !we were so into each other we spent the next 3 days at our friends house.day 2 we kissed.(at night obviously when everyone had gone to bed and left us alone)it was the most intense feeling I ever felt in my life!kissing him was like in the fairytales.we were so into each other it was unreal.we ended up of sleeping again day 2!all we did was kiss,lay in each others arms and looked into each other’s eyes.no words spoken!we just kissed!
He was very gentle with me,his love language is (act of service)so he waited on me,lifted for me,removed my shoes,got my food from the kitchen etc.whatever he could to make me feel comfortable and loved!he really got me.

Day 3 he told me he was scared and didn’t want to mess it up.he also confessed to secretly having feelings for me for a long time as well .he said we should take time to pray about it since we’re both very spiritual make sure we’re both meant to be.which I agreed to.we exchanged numbers and went to our respective homes.Then he started the been available and not available games.he’ll say stuff like he’s busy,ignore my messages for days etc.and soon as he senses that Iam about to pull away then he starts chasing me again.this went on for a while until it eventually stopped and he let me in.whilst we were praying,we ditched every other spiritual rule and we made love.Gosh it was heaven!the attraction was really intense.i was so in love with him as well as highly sexually attracted to him and it was mutual.we spoke so many things with our eyes.connextion was amazing.
Then came the bad dreams I had.and I regret sharing it with him cuz he took it as a sign and he started to act up on it.
Despite saying and trying to come to terms with the fact that we’re not meant to be (what he interpreted my dreams to mean),we couldn’t stop touching each other.
Stupidly I thought it was a phase we would get past until one day when I went to see him as usual and he dropped the bombshell that he was about to start seeing someone else.

I was so hurt.it was like putting a knife through my heart.i layed next to him in silence and wept.they’re just dreams I said.you will throw all of these away because of my dreams?you wouldn’t even give us a chance?then he said to me I have learnt to separate my emotions from reality.i also had a dream that we would be fighting a lot.and I don’t want that.its best to take caution now than have us regret in future.i would hate us to end in a divorce.
He wouldn’t touch me or even kiss me.was so cold.i asked him…this new girl have you prayed about her?he said yes.thrn I asked ..and she’s the one???…he replied well God isn’t going to tell you exactly who is the one.you have to make your choice.That hurt me even more.we both slept on silence and I got up to leave in the morning.
I decided no contact,after like a week of not hearing from me,he started chasing me again.texting,checking on me etc.Then he came to my house to see me and we made love again.Then he told me this would have to be the last time.
I was so hurt .i did not beg or anything.i just layed there with my thoughts.a few days after I was working in the neighbourhood and when I had finished my set up I had like 6 hours at my disposal so I called and asked if I could come over?
He said yes.ob getting there he hugged me so tight.looked into my eyes with the most intense emotion and told me it was good to see me.we went in ,he offered me a back massage because I complained I was aching.i turned it down cuz I knew where it would lead.i went in his kitchen to make myself some tea and something to eat.kitchen was a mess I cleaned it Up and went to join him in the room only to get the shocker of my life.he said to me my girlfriend is on her way.i just sat there numb and hurt.i lost my appetite .couldnt eat or drink.before I could say jack,she was there.he went to get her.just before he left to get her,I asked what he wanted me to do as I was lying on his bed.he snapped at me saying do whatever you think is right.i was so hurt.he brought her in and made this awkward introduction.introduced us both to each other!i just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.i sat there in silence as they flirted with each other and talked.whilst I counted down till my ride comes to pick me.he sensed I was hurting I guess so he went to lock himself up in the toilet.he stayed there until my ride came and I couldn’t even get to tell him I was leaving.my heart was so heavy.i was so numb and hurt I couldn’t even cry.yet I wanted to cry.why did he ask me to come over when he knew she was coming?anyway he did not call me after that.
Instead he kept stalking me on whatsapp.i have noticed he does that when he’s missing me.because he dies the marathon stalking on whatsapp and calls or texts follow few days later.3 days after I started the NCR he called but I ignored it.its very unlike me.he has done so many things to hurt me in the past,no matter how bad,I still pick up and talk cuz I like to talk things through.but I ignored.
Then 2 days ago he send me a quote on whatsapp “broken things can become blessed things if you allow God to do the mending”.
I ignored him.i thought to myself he had some nerve sending that.he has been going crazy stalking me endlessly on whatsapp.everyday!hes online when Iam online,he goes off when I go off.even if it’s for a second.i know he’s currently not himself and I like that I have such an effect on him.ges even experiencing sleepless nights.i know this cuz a friend of mine messaged me around 2:48 am the other night and when I responded to her message.i saw he was still stalking me online!every 5 mins he comes on.i usually don’t ignore him at all.so I guess this has made him very uneasy..i am currently 2and half weeks into the NCR.i will see to it that I finish it.and I do hope the other girls value decreases so he can see my value again.
I spoiled him,with everything!my attention,time,money,my cooking,body,name it!and he wants to throw it all away because of dreams?

Do you reckon I have a chance at getting him back?not just getting him back ..I want the girlfriend title.we had such a special connection.i just want him to give us a chance.i do hope when I eventually contact him again he doesn’t ignore me and he hasn’t gone too deep with this other girl.

Tammy

October 8, 2016 at 4:44 am

Thanks for your reply Amor.I am currently 35 days into the no contact rule.and in this period he has attempted to make contact 5 times.i am still ignoring him as I feel like I don’t have anything to say to him.moreover his attemptted contact is not direct.its very indirect.almost to make me think it was a generic whatsapp message.not a single phrase from him directed to me.just images or videos and we both know it’s a front as the stalking on whatsapp hasn’t stopped.
However what I find interesting is that iam no longer so hooked on him!i still miss him a lot and some days are better than the others but if he came back now,I am not sure I want him anymore.i feel like I deserve better and should be treated with uttermost respect and care.i so love being in control of things!i am no longer the one being ignored.i love calling the shots!i love that idea that he misses me but cannot have me!i want him to want me and not be able to have me.
So thankful I had the guts to go NC!i am really healing I guess.much as I know I can now reach out…I do not want to.for the fear of loosing control again.i would rather not contact him for months until I know I couldn’t care less what he does in his life or says.but yea…I love where iam at.
Thank you for your continued support!

Ladies….girl power !!!!we can do it!!!we are worth so much more than tobe treated like crap!dont take crap from no man!be an ungettable girl.Love y’all.Love this site!
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 10, 2016 at 3:13 pm

That’s great! Thank you too Tammy for sharing!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 23, 2016 at 4:33 pm

HI Tammy,

keep being active in improving yourself even after no contact.. Don’t sleep with him again if you’re not really together. That way you can increase your value..

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 21, 2016 at 2:06 pm

Hi CPL

unblock him… It’s better if sees your posts..just dont open his.. keep improving yourself.

if he sees you’re moving on, improving and having your own life, there’s a chance that he would be comfortable to start as friends again after nc
Dani

September 19, 2016 at 8:43 pm

I’ve been single for 5 years age 16-21 then about seven months ago I met someone at a varsity social. For about a month and a half we just texted (we study together- same classes) and then he suggested we do a wine date at my flat. One turned into quite a few and we never officially dated but we were dating if that makes any sense. Then suddenly he told me he wasn’t feeling this anymore. He never used to call me but we did text every day and if I did not text he would text me “why am I not hearing from you?” Maybe I couldn’t get the available/unavailable thing quite right. He did mention he gets bored really quickly… What makes this difficult is having to look at him everyday. He now calls (although asking about work) he never used to do that and he calls about silly things things he could’ve texted me. This is making me crazy because I’m not very experienced in the relationship department as I’ve been single for quite a while and don’t know how to handle this. I believe he made a mistake but even if he did j know him well enough to know he would never admit it. How can I make him realize he made a mistake? How can I do this if we study together?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 21, 2016 at 4:03 pm

Hi Dani,

did you sleep with him? Try minimal contact.. This article os for coworkers but it can also apply to you and the other one is to give you an idea what an ungetabble girl is.
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

The Ungettable Girl

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 19, 2016 at 11:29 am

Hi CPL,

it depends on the reason why he doesnt think you’re the one..
check this one too:
What Makes An Ex Boyfriend Change His Mind About The Breakup?
victoria

September 18, 2016 at 5:23 am

How can I do the no contact rule if my ex and I are going to the same school and see each other about 3 times a week in the hallways (we usually say hi to each other when that happens, because we decided to remain friends.. but I still want him to miss me)

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2016 at 1:12 pm

Hi Victoria,

that means you have to do limited no contact.. You can check this one. It’s almost the same situation.
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Airina

September 18, 2016 at 12:23 am

Hey guys! So me and my ex broke up 2 months ago.And today is my 14 days on NCR.He called me on the 5th day and texted me asking me to reply his texts and calls.Before I iniate NCR,I did told him that I need some time to move on because I didnt start the ncr straight away after we broke up.I started it when I realized he was “friend zoning” me bcs I was always there for him,so I told him give me some time,I will text him when I’m ready.But now,he was mad at me.On my 12th day of ncr he was pissed of by saying i took him for granted which I totally don’t get it.I mean,I told you I needed some time,so why he makes me feel like I’m the one who dumped him?But still,I didnt reply his text and stick with the ncr firmly which led him to throw away my num because I can no longer see his profile pic and status in whatsApp.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2016 at 10:52 am

HI Airina,

In a way, that’s good because it means he’s affected. He’s just used to you being clingy, so maybe unconsciously, he thought being angry would make you chase him again. Stay strong in nc.. You informed him. That’s enough. He will probably go back to what you said and realize that you are really trying to heal..

Hailley

September 17, 2016 at 5:14 pm

Me and my boyfriend, who I was dating for 4 months, just broke up on Wednesday. The reason for our break up was not to do with anything either of us did. Neither of us lost feelings for one another. The reason we broke up was because my boyfriend has been going through a rough time and has been feeling unhappy with himself as he felt like he was not where he needed to be with his personal life (career, finances, ect). We both decided that we need to focus on ourselves for a bit. I know I don’t want to loose my man forever, but how long should I wait to contact him to make sure he doesn’t get over me? We both work together so I will see him usually 3 times a week at work as well. I just want to make sure I give him enough time to focus on himself but not enough time to forget about me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 19, 2016 at 6:02 pm

Hi Hailley,

well, you work together, so he probably won’t easily get over you.. I think you need to do a limited 30 day no contact.

Rhea

September 15, 2016 at 6:59 pm

Hi I m 27yr n my bf is 29 ur old…we were in relationship for 8 months…initially it was great…he used to care n love me lot BT when he finally got the idea I m his girl he started taking me granted..we were in LDR…in may I went home..n asked him to meet me BT he was drunk still he came n asked me to kiss me on road I said no he got upset n then after tht he delayed meeting me giving health n mobile broken issues as an excuse.. D day I was leaving my home I CLd him 50 time from airport BT he dint speak up …then next day CLd n said he is busy n his mom nt well..stopped talking to me for a week then I pinged he was normal n talked as if he loves me then agn he said he is going home n dint talk for 2 days then I switched off phn for 10 days n then whn I CLd him back after 10 days he stopped talking to me for 2 months..then he talked for 15 days n for conference he came to city where I study we had sex n agn he left widout seeing me n I texted wht u want ..u love me or not n u want this relationship or not just clear it out he dint respond to my text n left d city…after 7 days he CLd BT I dint pick n he texted he was busy wid conference work….I dnt know whts going on? Should I wait for him or should I move on? I m so confused pls help

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 18, 2016 at 2:20 pm

HI Rhea,

I think you should move on.. it looks like it was a meaningless sex..

Sarah

September 15, 2016 at 7:01 am

My first boyfriend of 8 months and I were completely fine up until two weeks ago after I had bought him flowers when he was sick at home he just sort of stopped talking to me completely over that weekend and I thought everything was fine. Then on he eventually texted me telling me that he was worried about what would happen to us after we graduate (since this is our senior year) and that it would be harder to break up later rather than now which really hurt me. I asked him if he had fallen out of love with me to which he said he couldn’t respond as he bawled over our phone call tell me he was sorry and he needed space to think. I waited in agony for a week for him to rink and during that time he was very cold to me in text and in person which hurt my heart very very much as my feelings for him had never changed. Every once in a while I would get so fed up with this out of the blue coldness coming from him that I would send things to him like “I was an idiot for ever falling in love you with and believing you could love me in return.” I feel so abandoned and hurt. He took our anniversary date off of his Instagram bio even took our prom picture off his Instagram account. This past weekend I had heard he was out partying with a bunch of people (girls included twerking on a party bus) and I decided he didn’t really love me and didn’t really need “time to think” and figured he was probably going to just break up with me anyways. So I called 5 times and ended up having to break up with him over voicemail saying “it’s over” he texted back an hour later “it already is…” Ouch. After that we just kept talking and getting more and more sour with each other because I had been feeling hurt and was in protective mode and idk what his problem was. Anyways towards the end of our texting convo I basically said “what has gotten in to us? We are both people just caught in a weird situation. I know you are an amazing person with an amazing and genuine heart. We should remember our beautiful memories of each other, memories that we have because something worked well in our personalities together.” And some more stuff like that to follow. Even after feeling hurt by him over and over again I decided to lend a hand to forgive him for hurting me and said “let’s just shake hands and start over completely and just remember the good of each other” and he said he would love to do that. That was yesterday and today I did not see him, did not contact him and earlier he said “hey I didn’t see you at all today did you see me?” And I said no our schedules don’t really match up:/ and he never responded. He’s always out doing things with his friends as if nothing’s wrong I feel like he doesn’t even care that he’s lost me. And the worst part is that I still over him even after accepting all of this hurt and I want him back. Should I just not contact him at all? Do you think he’s 100% over everything that’s happened and me?

Shameful

September 18, 2016 at 6:06 pm

We broke up 3 days ago. Last week he said he wanted to work things out and the next day I caught him on ok Cupid and when I confronted him he said he didn’t want this relationship anymore. I panicked and drove to his place and begged for us to try again, for at least a week! He said fine but he doesn’t think anything will change. So the next day we both agreed to take the day off from each other and see one another the day after that. When I saw him that day it was as if everything was back to normal and we were in fact going to be together. I asked him if he still had his ok Cupid account and he said he deleted it the previous day. He said it would only be fair that if we try this again that he’s not being shady. We have a great night and the next day I still see that he’s on ok Cupid messaging girls. He actually messaged a girl right after I left his house the previous night. I’m furious and everything was going so well and when I confronted him again everything went downhill. What was happiness was now seeming to be the end of our relationship. It eventually did end a few days ago. On the day we broke up I asked to see him in person since the break up text wasn’t suffice enough for me. He didn’t want to at first and said he wasn’t in the mood and wanted to have the closure in a couple days but that made no sense to me. So I go over there and get my closure. He found out I had a date that same day and that night I texted him just to see how he was doing. He was being really short and acting weird. Then I mentioned how he doesn’t seem like he’s in the mood to talk and he said “not right now I’m not”. So I asked if he could text me when he was and he said sure. That was 3 days ago.

We broke up because from the start of our relationship he’s been caught lying a few times and the trust was compromised leading to arguments throughout. We dated for over a year and I’ve been a wreck since the break up. I’ve never played him or did anything close to unfaithful like he has. He said he still loves me and will always love me but basically wants to move on. He wants to remain friends too, even though I haven’t heard from him.

I’m hoping he regrets breaking up with me. I always forgave him when he did something messed up to me. I always drove him places and paid for him if he didn’t have enough money. I was just always there for him. I definitely argued with him quite a bit because of insecurities but I didn’t think it would come to this. I love him, miss him, and would do anything to fix it. He said he doesn’t want to but I’m hoping in this time that we aren’t speaking that he changes his mind.

How can I go about this correctly? I honestly don’t agree with how the text should be initiated. I don’t think I should say anything that refers to something occurring where it reminded me of him and I just had to text him and let him know I was basically thinking about him. It gives it away that I’m trying to come back into his life romantically.

I just want help fixing this. It might be completely hopeless but who knows. Also, we were supposed to go to a festival together on October 1-2. I know NC is supposed to be 30 days but the festival is in 2 weeks and we’re supposed to still go together.

I just need legit advice. Thanks.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2016 at 4:27 pm

Hi Shameful,

It’s ok to not use that as a first contact text. But to be honest, if he kept lying to you and you kept forgiving and begging him back, then that means you’re the chaser… And if you want that to change, you have to stop chasing him. That means not going in the festival anymore.. because what for? You’re not together anymore.. Focus in healing and improving yourself..put yourself first this time
Sarah

September 15, 2016 at 7:05 am

I still love him**
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 18, 2016 at 12:43 pm

Hi Sarah,

do you want to try what’s advised above?

Avil

September 15, 2016 at 5:30 am

I just broke up with my emotionaly abusive ex 2 weeks ago . He contacted me with some cold nice impersonal msg which drove me crazy ..I called told him how much I miss him and how hard it is ..my heart was waiting for him to apologize or tell me he will fix things ..instead he blamed me for being upset all the time and how we destroyed this and how he misses me and it’s hard for him and that by time the pain will pass and I will always be someone special ..then he sent a msg that we talk that day and ignored me only to call me the next one for 5 min to tell me it’s as hard for him as it is for me and that he will always thank me for the good times .. I never got a sorry .. and I just feel he just didn’t value me or I was nothing .. can I re start the no contact rule … I didn’t know about it when I answered .. is there a chance for him to see what he missed on . I will go to therapy next week to try to work on my self ..and I have been ingaging in activities but I still miss him and feel bad

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 18, 2016 at 12:08 pm

Hi Avil,

why do you want him to say sorry?

Vanessa

September 14, 2016 at 2:50 pm

My ex broke up with me because we were unable to come to an agreement about an ongoing conflict we had through our relationship. He said he didn’t think we would be happy together. It was more or less about his car hobby and that I couldn’t understand it. I am about 2 weeks and 1/2 of the no contact rule. Just to gain some perspective, do guys feel the same as girls after the break up? After my ex broke up with me he texted me a day after for us to fix things and talk. I didn’t answer. I still haven’t answered. My friends have him on social media and he seems to be fine. He has been posting a lot of pictures of his car and him doing car events with his buddies more than normal. Do I take this as a sign that he is happier without me? Do guys pretend to be fine on social media by posting a lot of pictures of them being happy or is this just a disguise. When is the usual time that guys start feeling the loneliness after a breakup?

Vanessa

September 14, 2016 at 2:54 pm

I forgot to mention that we were together for 1 year and 1/2
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 5:40 pm

Hi Vanessa,

maybe he’s doing that because he can see that that’s what you’re doing too.. Usually humans makes or break a habit for 66 days, usually.. So, that means the habit of thinking about you..

Hnnh

September 13, 2016 at 3:50 pm

Hi.
I broke up with my ex over a month ago. He said that he’s feelings faded and he only thought of me more of a best friend as of late. I also found out he’s been flirting with other girls in the last few months we were together. I found out and that sparked the rage in me to break up with him. Also, things havent been the same way since he told me the felt like we were best friends.
He texted me the day after we broke up like nothing happened (this happenes before, we take a break and end up talking to each other like nothing happened the next day) but i told him that we should stop.
A few weeks later i caved and texted him. We talked like nothing changed and he even skyped me and said that he can only be himself when he’s with me and that he didnt rlly have anyone to talk to. I brushed him off abit saying that we need to respect our boundaries now that we arent together. We talked like we were fine after that. A few days later i told him that i missed him and i wanted him back. He didnt respond the same way. I know he’s been talking to someone new but he just said that she’s nothing but a friend.
I keep going back to him after a week of NC. I kept talking to him for a week then back to NC for a week. It got to the point where i just kept pushing him to tell me how he moved on and he just would ignore me.
I wanted to return his helmet the other day (we both ride) and he got so angry and agitated i dont know why. I wrote him a letter and left it on his bike tgt with his helmet. The day after that he texted me saying thank you for the letter and that we could always be friends. I responded by saying i still miss him and that i hope he’s happy with this new girl. He kept saying they’re friends but i dont believe it. Then i kept on pushing him to tell me how he moved on and he completely brushed me off. The next day i tried to talk to him again but he completely ignored me. I got so pissed that i asked him that i thought we were friends. He just asked if i wanted to move on. I told him i wasnt sure cuz i still wanted him back. It led to a fight and eventually it was me still pushing him on how he moved on cuz i rlly want to know how he did. After a while i told him how much i hated him for making me go through all of this. And how much he made me love him. He blocked me on whatsapp and the next day i twitter dmed him apologising for my behaviour and that i still hated him for what he did to me. The responded by telling me how he had the best time of his life with me but after a while feelings faded and that i shouldnt hate him bc he didnt want to lie to me anymore. He ended by saying i deserve someone better. I didnt reply to that. I still miss him and i still want him back. But at the same time i dont want him to feel like i’m readily available and that he can come back to me at any time. I want him to regret and crawl and beg for me back. What should i do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2016 at 5:54 pm

Hi Hnnh,

It looks like he already said how he moved on. He fell out of love. After that, it was just day by day of seeing you as a friend. Do you want to try what’s advised above?

S021-969

September 12, 2016 at 10:45 pm

Hi, the guy I was seeing for not very long maybe 2months decided to break up with me saying that he needed time and that he wasn’t over his ex..Throughout the short relationship He was the one making all the moves like planning holidays together and introducing me to family making committed comments and when I finally relaxed and wasn’t stand off ish he realised he was going too fast I have commenced the NC rule I was just wondering if you believe there any chance he might come back

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2016 at 3:14 pm

Hi S021-969,

I think there is but you have to take your time. Read this one too: EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

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