How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It's Coming

399 thoughts on “How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming”

Natalie

October 31, 2017 at 11:55 am

Hi,

I am dating this guy for 1.5 years. We both want to be with each other forever. The issue here is that his family is not happy about us. He has always told me that he will never marry me without his family’s approval. He says that he is trying to convince them but is not giving me any commitment or guarantee.
Its been a while and he can still not give me a commitment. I dont know what to do? Please suggest.

Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2017 at 8:16 pm

Hi,
Check this one:
EBR 054: My Exes Mom Made Him Break Up With Me

JS

June 21, 2017 at 7:16 am

Hi Amor, Me and my boyfriend is together for almost 3 years. Like the common relationship all was blissful at first. we both had past relationships that left me with a son and him a daughter. He fought for our love leaving his daughter who grew up with him. My supposed to be annulment was not processed yet due to financial problems and he is expecting it but it’s not my fault but i felt now he refused to understand. The initial plan of having a child also disappeared. We are both working abroad and now he decided to come back to the Philippines. When he was there he started to have guilt feelings for his daughter about his decision of leaving her as well as his mom is probably influencing him now that he is back home. I am left here alone and first few days communication was ok. Now he barely text me, slowly detaching and wants to leave him alone. He even told me he cant promise anything but did not say exactly we broke up. Our last conversation he still said I love you but now his texts are getting rare. I decided to day for a no contact strategy but I dont know what will work. Im in a struggle. help…

JS

August 18, 2017 at 4:25 pm

hi amor just to update, after NC i initiated contact and at first he is not that responsive but i became patient and just wait that he initiates the contact again. as days go by i can feel he is healing and viola the day came that he was the one trying to patch things up for us. we are going to see each other soon in the philippines. thank you for all your advice. indeed NC works!!!
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 18, 2017 at 5:50 pm

That’s good! I’m happy for you!! Bon Voyage!!
JS

July 12, 2017 at 7:40 am

at least i have hope that he really wants to spend time with his daughter since the activity of the phone tracker is like he would fetch the daughter then send her home to where his ex and family is staying then he goes back to his place. everyday it is like that. i think he is very depressed because when i still got his passwords, for the whole day when he is not with the daughter i can view his activity that he keeps non stop playing and downloading online games. will he ever realize that he has a life apart from doing that everyday?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2017 at 1:29 pm

If he doesn’t have a job, he’ll have to get one again.. So of course he will realize that later on.. Yeah you should initiate after nc
JS

July 12, 2017 at 7:36 am

Hi Amor, right now I am on 15th day NC. Though it is very hard I was able to succeed for 15 days. He hanged his password to his facebook and email which he used to give to me and I didnt react at all. One time I saw him open his deactivated facebook, was once active in messenger but I really did ignore him. He also opened up his emails which he dont usually do. I can trak his location without him knowing and I found out that he i staying on a place nearby where his daughter and ex is staying but his activity is just normal each day. will fetch the daughter to school and return to that place. For so many days its like that and I found out that he is really spending time with the daughter. I dont know how long will he be able to continue this without a job of his own. Well he is an ofw we used to work here together but it is nearly 2 weeks of him doing that. after 30 days should i contact him?
JS

June 27, 2017 at 2:54 am

although at first he said he is not decided if he will stay their for good. I really dont know his decision now as i think everything changed when he went home. what to do. he didnt communicate for 5 days and yesterday i made great efforts to contact him but wasnt able to. at his ex is controlling and using the child as a weapon. made sure that he cannot contact the daughter when we are together.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2017 at 5:31 pm

You cant control other people..so the best you can do is to take this as a restart.. Start nc.. Slowly build rapport after, if you ever get back together later on, talk to him on what the solution with his daughter and your relationship is
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 23, 2017 at 5:10 pm

HI JS,

so is he back in Philippines for good? Can’t he be with you and be a good father as well?

Mady

June 19, 2017 at 4:40 am

Hi. I am a teen and recently began my first relationship. I have been dating him for almost a month now (not long I know, I’ve know him for half a year though) and he’s been acting funny lately. The relationship almost began out of nowhere, he was a good friend of my best girl friend and they were sometimes a little friendly flirty. After a while they didn’t talk as much but I never though much of it. One day in class I noticed an empty seat by his, I sat down (Just friends at this point) and he began to crack long punchline jokes at me. He continued this all period while making eye contact and we spent an hour laughing and chatting. Shortly after that my friend gave him my details and he began messaging me constantly. For the first week he was always the one to engage in conversation. The next week it was a mix, we began to use XO and hearts more often. The past couple weeks I’ve been the only one started conversation and I’ve seen a decline in hearts although still xx. He doesn’t say I love you as much as he used to although still occasionally. Even though this was happening I didn’t take much notice as the other day we spent a lunchtime together, hugging, flirting, holding hands, cuddling so I thought everything was more then fine and he’d just been busy. Then I come back to school after the weekend (We didn’t talk much during) And I notice he’s acting slightly strange. Still happy to see me but a little distant. Lunchtime comes and I’m with my friends, i see him and run over and begin our usual routine of walking to the canteen with him and his friends. Some of his maleness friends join us and put their arm round me and him. This is a running joke as he has “Babes” as he calls his close male friends. I laugh it off and continue walking. I make a joke about his babes seeming more important to him and I feel used (We’ve made this joke often) and he goes “Fine bye then” in a sarcastic way and walks off, smirks over his shoulder and waves. (Both done this before) Later into the lunchtime, I’m on the field playing football/soccer and I see him and his friend across the other side of the field. I hear his friend shouting “Mady! [HIS NAME] needs to talk to you!” His voice sounds more serious then usual and I hurry over after he shouts this multiple times. My boyfriend then runs away and his friend who has just shouted me over runs after him. We all gather in the middle of a square block of classrooms, I run up behind him then tap him on the shoulder playfully and say, “You okay? Did you wanna talk?” He denies and says it’s nothing and no matter how many times I ask he refuses he ever wanted to. Eventually his friends step away and I ask him again, he finally cracks, darts his eyes then begins to speak. “Mady, I really like you but I feel like I treat you badly, I treat you like a dick. I’m not sure if I want to keep doing this to you.” He says a few other things similar to that aswell. His eyes which are usually meet with mine glancing away every couple seconds. I touch his shoulder and begin, “[HIS NAME] I love you, and I don’t mind how you treat me. You treat me fine, and too be honest I treat you like a bitch. It’s how our relationship works.” He smiles and leans in for a hug, I hug him tightly and say into his ear “[HIS NAME] I love you. I will no matter what.” We stop hugging and he immediately goes off nearby to talk with a mixed group of friends who I knew. I stay nearby and began to talk to one of his close friends. I tell his friend what happened and if he knew He knew was going to do this. He admits and says yes he was planning to break up with you. I ask if it was because he did not feel anything anymore, his friend denies and says he stills likes me very much. His friend then begin serving to say that perhaps he was expecting more and the relationship is moving to slow for his liking then jokes I should of kissed him and held his hands by now. He gestures I should make a move as he is nearby. I see him talking to his group and their eyes often darting towards me then they talk more. I then walk over to him and say hi. Something feels extremely wrong. So wrong I can’t explain. I ask him if he’s okay and that I don’t want to force him into a relationship he doesn’t want to be in. He plays it off and says he’s fine and he was just worried about me. The bell rings and h goes to walk to his nearby class (Usually he would turn to hug goodbye every time) I call his name and say, “You didn’t say goodbye.” And step towards him for a hug. He smiles slightly and barely says bye and hugs me. I say to him that if he wants he should message me during his class I feel he needs to talk. He agrees and says he will. I get to class and message him, “Are you sure you still want to date me? Because I still want to date you.” He never replies, he often is busy in his class though and is always a mistake he didn’t Reply. I shake it off and continue with my work but struggle to forget the lunchtime event. After school I often wait by where he catches his bus so we can say bye before we part, he had rugby though so he was not there. As I walk home I cannot get this dooming feeling out of me and my heart. When I get home I write a short paragraph stating my emotions, how he has choice, I didn’t know something was up, my apologies for the jokes/insults and I finish with I love you [HIS NAME] x.
He is at rugby currently and will come home soon. I am not sure what to think in the mean time.
I have come up with several scenarios as what he is feeling.
A. He simply has no feelings anymore for me or barely any
B. He is simply just concerned about me but still likes me
C. His feelings have lessened, and he is concerned
D. He would rather spend his time with/doing something else.
He has a few past relationships the most recent a popular girl from his previous school, they date de for around a year and their breakup was extremely messy. He never told me why they actually broke up whenever I would mention their relationship, several have told me because she was cheating on him. He is a tough outside soft inside guy. I have a feeling he might have trust issues because of his break up if that was true.
If you could help me with what you think he is thinking with my list of scenarios and your advice that would be amazing.
Thanks x

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 22, 2017 at 2:37 pm

I think he’s just really not that serious with you.

Clara

May 22, 2017 at 9:43 pm

Hello Chris,
Even though I have the Exboyfriendrecovery ebook, I still find my self confused as I don’t know what to do in this current situation. I don’t know if i should do the no contact again or apologize before I give some space.
I met my boyfriend over a year ago, I broke up with him in December because I found out he was cheating on me with another girl whom he met before me. I didn’t really have time for the relationship at that time because I was doing my masters programme. Anyways, I did the no contact for 6wks and we started talking again and got back together. He was serious this time, attentive to my needs, very caring and was talking about marriage. This last 3 months after NC has been the best of the relationship. A male friend bought me a Samsung 8 as belated birthday gift, Yesterday, he saw me with the phone and asked how I got it, I lied to him that I bought the phone. He kept insisting on who got me the phone because he knows I didn’t buy it. (Meanwhile he got me the Red iPhone 7 as my birthday gift last month).He kept telling me, i know you are lying, tell me who you bought you a new phone.. I told him he was taking everything out of context and I wasn’t cheating on him. He said cheating doesn’t have to be physical, that it can also be emotional. That I’m taking him to be a fool and a stupid person, that everything is falling into place. That because if have a soft landing, a plan B that’s why I have be threatening to break up with him this past couple of days. (Btw, me always telling him that its fine if we break up and that relationship is not by force Is just coincidence and also so he doesn’t feel I’m desperate for him).He said if I don’t tell him the truth about the 2nd phone I should go and sleep in the guest room. Then I burst into tears telling him I couldn’t sleep in the guest room, he was so cold to me and said if I can’t sleep in the guest room, I should go to my house. So I decided to leave for my house. I packed my stuff in his house and then he brought my nightie that I always left in his house. I said, why are you giving this to me amidst tears, he said he doesn’t want it in his house anymore. Then I said I’m sorry, but he was cold. I told him he was been heartless and why doesn’t he care, he said because I made him not to care. At that point, I told myself to save me some diginity and leave, this was at 11:30pm. Immediately I left, I blocked him from WhatsApp and phone calls and msgs because i didn’t want to go crazy expecting a msg or call from him. I left him on social media though. Now, I don’t know if I should apologize for lying and reassure him of my loyalty before giving him space or I should just go straight to a no contact.
Thanks.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 24, 2017 at 6:21 pm

yup you should apologize and explain.. check this one too:
EBR 044: Lying To An Ex Boyfriend

Estelle

May 21, 2017 at 9:08 pm

Hi,
My boyfriend and I have dated for a little over a year but we went through major ups and downs, including 3 break ups in between. Most of them was because I wasn’t considerate of his feelings and hurt him to the point where he doesn’t feel like I care enough to stay with me. But we always find our way back and work ourselves up to be better again. There are times when I’ve done things he didn’t like and he voiced that, asking me to not do them again. However, I keep repeating my mistakes, each time i’d say i womt do it again but i slip up. It’s to the point he feels like I don’t care enough to be better and he is hurt and can’t trust my words. But I really do care and love him. I see him in my future. I’m so scared and sad that I hurt him and his trust for me. I tried writing down the things he doesn’t like and actions I can take to proactively stop myself from letting it happen again. But this time was so bad that he wants to break up. He tells me he still cares about me and he wishes that I can reassure him again but he doesn’t know how that can happen after countless chances he’s given me. I’m holding on to this relationship by a thread because I see potential and when we are having a good time (more good days than bad), it’s amazing. What can I do to reassure him that I will really try harder? We are currently living in different states so it’s hard to see him in person. I understand that the problems come from me so I know I need to really try harder to improve myself and be attentive of his feelings.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 23, 2017 at 6:31 pm

wait, have you broken up or not?

Estelle

May 21, 2017 at 9:07 pm

Hi,
My boyfriend and I have dated for a little over a year but we went through major ups and downs, including 3 break ups in between. Most of them was because I wasn’t considerate of his feelings and hurt him to the point where he doesn’t feel like I care enough to stay with me. But we always find our way back and work ourselves up to be better again. There are times when I’ve done things he didn’t like and he voiced that, asking me to not do them again. However, I keep repeating my mistakes, each time i’d say i womt do it again but i slip up. It’s to the point he feels like I don’t care enough to be better and he is hurt and can’t trust my words. But I really do care and love him. I see him in my future. I’m so scared and sad that I hurt him and his trust for me. I tried writing down the things he doesn’t like and actions I can take to proactively stop myself from letting it happen again. But this time was so bad that he wants to break up. He tells me he still cares about me and he wishes that I can reassure him again but he doesn’t know how that can happen after countless chances he’s given me. I’m holding on to this relationship by a thread because I see potential and when we are having a good time (more good days than bad), it’s amazing. What can I do to reassure him that I will really try harder? We are currently living in different states so it’s hard to see him in person.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 23, 2017 at 6:32 pm

wait, have you broken up or not?

Nikki

May 13, 2017 at 12:26 pm

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and most if it has been long distance, due to us going to university in different cities. Now it’s summer and he found a job in the city he goes to school in, so he’s not coming home. It’s not that he’s all that far away but I was really looking forward to having time with him and with both of us working, I don’t get that. I tend to get very needy and when he told me he got a job, that neediness kicked in. He said he thought it was clear that long distance wasn’t working for me and he was thinking about breaking up. Naturally, I didn’t want that and asked for one more chance and he said he wasn’t actually breaking up with me, he just thought it should “stay in the cards.” So I’ve been kind of backing off and he’ll still texts me, but it’s a lot less. He used to always include a pet name when we say goodnight, like “goodnight, pumpkin. Have good sleeps. I love you.” But lately he hasn’t been using the pet names. I’m a very emotional person and he is very unemotional. He struggles to express his own emotions so he has a really hard time dealing with mine and I guess I’ve overloaded him with my baggage. I feel like this can be saved but I don’t know how to go about it. Do I do this No Contact method (or a modified version of it), do I keep treating it like normal, or do I just give up?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 13, 2017 at 4:09 pm

Hi Nikki,

why not try the advice above first?

Shayna

April 26, 2017 at 2:22 am

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, and things have gotten stale. He started talking to another woman last week, and of course, I found out. He isn’t showing a lot of remorse, and admits to me that he hasn’t been happy in our relationship for months, although I firmly believe that he is just over the honeymoon period and doesn’t realize that all relationships fade in passion and bliss. I was unaware of his unhappiness, and I’m completely devastated by all of this. He is currently trying to decide if he still wants to be with me. I believe that he is simply infatuated with this new girl, as all new relationships go with that honeymoon period. He admits that he made a mistake by falling for her, but he doesn’t think he wants to take it back. We live together, and he has already decided to move out, regardless of if we stay together or not. He says he wants to try to fix things, but isn’t showing any signs of actually trying. I’m struggling with trying to trust and forgive him, because I can’t begin to heal our relationship until I find it in my heart to forgive him.

He is my best friend, and while I’d survive without him, I’d rather not. We had a future planned together, and a life together (we live together and have a cat together, and neither of us can afford rent on our own, which I know is a problem, but we were working on that). I know all of this makes him sound like a jerk (which he is kind of being), but he’s my best friend, and the man I had planned on spending the rest of my life together.

How can I reignite his love and enthusiasm for our relationship before it’s too late?! With the tools from this website (which I found after a previous breakup and learned a lot from), I think I could get him back after a breakup, but I’d really prefer to avoid the breakup entirely!

Shayna

May 6, 2017 at 2:29 pm

And how would I do that? Things have not improved in the last two weeks, and he is leaning towards leaving. I hate feeling so helpless in this situation. We are going to go to couples counseling on Thursday, but he doesn’t seem nearly as invested in fixing the relationship as I do.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 6, 2017 at 5:02 pm

focus in improving yourself, in your own activities, be indifferent and have your own life.. check this one:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 29, 2017 at 10:07 pm

you have to approach it like he’s in a grass is greener case.

Jennifer Bravo

April 15, 2017 at 8:35 am

My boyfriend is moving away to Harvard. He says he doesn’t want a serious relationship because it will be too hard to handle. We have been dating almost 3 years. I really want to stay with him. I love him and I know he loves me too. He wanted to break up before he left but then he decided to do it sooner than later. Tonight he broke down and broke up with me. I don’t want to lose him and I know we can make the long distant relationship work. He says he wants to stay friends but I don’t know if I can do that. I want to be with him. What do I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 16, 2017 at 1:12 pm

are you in no contact rule now?

Jansie

April 8, 2017 at 11:44 am

Hey, jansie here. Due to some problems (that too because of me) my boyfriend had to apologise to his ex and she said that she wants them to ne friends again. Unwillingly, he said “sure”, and now i find them close enough. I don’t know whats wrong with me, i just dont want him to talk to her. I somehow managed to tell him that i dont like it. He said, he cant help it. I straight away asked him to block her if he himself ain’t interested. We had a series of fights after that. We called off the matter again and again. It aint the trust issue, i do trust him, but I don’t know why i get so much jealous when i see them talking to each other. My fault, but yes, i was blinded. I wanted to end it all last night, i asked him to block her straight away. He refused but then he surrendered completely in a guesture that made me regret. Afterall, i love him. I further said, that he should let me know if there is a problem , and if he is hiding things ( the way he has been hiding their conversations before) its gonna harm us. He suddenly broke down emotionally and said, a good bye. I was into tears, didnt know what to do or say.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 4:06 pm

are you still together or did you break up?

Lauren

March 27, 2017 at 1:00 pm

Is it normal for men to talk amongst their friends about being single? For instance, my boyfriend kissed another girl about a month ago, and I know that I have been difficult to be with since because of the lack of security it caused in the relationship. I started having a problem with everything he does because I felt I couldn’t trust his intentions. So I became less of my happy self that he loved. I HAVE forgiven him. But now I need to work on letting it go completely and no longer checking his phone and such because I feel like you will always find something if you are looking for it.
Anyways, he was texting a friend the other day and mentioned possibly wanting to be single for the summer and being confused as to what he wants to do. This was hour after an argument. Should I follow the advice above and just focus on bettering myself and loving him along the way? I feel like it could very well just be because he feels guilty and defeated lately in the relationship after being unfaithful

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2017 at 4:57 pm

Hi Lauren,

try the advice above..that means he’s getting tired

casandra

February 14, 2017 at 12:52 pm

Hello. Im a bit confused and i need some real advice.– sorry it going to be a long write.

about 2 years back, a cousin introduced me to her guyfriend who lives in a different country than mine. she wanted us to get to know each other and eventually see the possibility to get in a relationship one day. The guy is good, down to earth, stable, a doctor and covered me with presents on my birthdays…but problem is i have just never been into him and also we have never met ( which i didn’t mind much as i wanted to avoir an akward situation)
It happened that one of his good friend had to relocate to where i live last December and so he put us in touch so I could help him settle down in here ( which I Gladly did for about over a year before he relocate to my city). problem is, after spending a lot of time together, his friend and I really really started liking each other. So we decided to give it a shot 2months ago without telling the friend.
On the other side, the friend wanted to come and visit me for the first time but i didn’t respond positively toward that and told him i was busy over that period…. I guess he might have figured that something was fishy as that happened at the exact time that his friend relocated in here (maybe he put 2 and 2 together!).

With the new guy, everything was going well, until recently he started to change and become a bit distant. at first i didn’t understand why and that drove me crazy. However yesterday he approached me and told me that his friend had been spreading the rumour among their common friends (around the world) that he stole his girlfriend…what made it worse is that even his mum contacted him to ask about the issue but obviously he denied it. i know he values his Mum opinion and would never do anything to disappoint her /that scares me a lot as i feel that might be the deciding/breaking point for him with regards to our relationship… he mentioned that he wasn’t proud of himself for getting into this mess and he feared it was going to ruin his reputation! We didnt discuss breaking up but Now im very uncertain about our future as i really really like him but i also know he values his reputation a lot….. Im not sure how to deal with this situation because i dont wanna loose him and i know he might be considering breaking up to avoid the drama.

Cassandra

February 16, 2017 at 10:36 am

Hello.
my boyfriend is the Doctor’s friend.
he has become very cold toward me…hardly call unless i do first.
I dont know what to do, im very confused.
Do i give him space? or do i keep contacting him to remind him that i care about him?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2017 at 7:42 pm

Nope, try the advice above. Give him space and be more active in your own activities.
Cassandra

February 16, 2017 at 8:17 am

Hi Chris
my boyfriend is the doctor’s friend.
he has been so distant in the last couple of days..hardly contact me unless i do first!
does it mean i need to give him space?? or still contact him daily as normal?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 14, 2017 at 9:12 pm

Hi Cassandra,

sorry I’m confused, who’s your bf? The Doctor or the doctor’s friend?

January 29, 2017 at 1:55 pm

Hey I wanted to just ask a question so I feel as though my boyfriend is going to break up with me. He hasn’t but him and I have been in a relationship for a year and a half. I feel as though he is getting bored, I said I love you and he didn’t say it back so do I give him his space now? Or do I keep on talking to him?

Em

January 30, 2017 at 1:59 am

I should also mention that him and I had a talk last Thursday and about my feelings not towards him just anxiety and what not but I was upset and he didn’t comfort me much.he said I need to be more open with him. Then Friday was pretty good. I told him Saturday I would make him breakfast and then he came over that morning and it all seemed great but then I saw a message on his phone from a girl. So I was upset about that. Later on that night I asked him about it over the phone and basically it was all okay nothing to worry about her. Then I said goodnight love you. Then he just said ” goodnight”But today we were suppose to get together at 7 he said 7 would be fine he thinks and I sent him a message and he didn’t read it for like an hour and 15 because he was playing hockey I think but then he said. ” sorry I just got home I don’t feel good” and I said “oh I really wanted to see you” then he said “well I don’t want you here so I can puke right in front of you.” Then I just said I should probably let you get some rest.” He said ” i think I’m just gonna go to bed” I said “okay goodnight, snap me in the am” all he said was “ok”
I can tell if my situation is bad or if everything will be okay. Also earlier this week he said to a friend of mine “me and Emma haven’t talked that much I think she’s mad at me”
I feel like pulling away and giving space will just create a bigger problem.
Thank you for listening and answering
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 30, 2017 at 2:24 pm

if you’re sure about that then talk to him. But after reading the advice above, what is your understanding of it?
Em

January 29, 2017 at 10:35 pm

won’t that make him go further away?
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 29, 2017 at 2:09 pm

Hi Em,

just give him space..

honey

January 26, 2017 at 2:47 pm

hello. My boyfriend is a pastor. We met on the 5th of December 2016, when I moved in, at the same commune complex. His bedroom is one step away from mine. I’m also a devoted Christian, and weeks before we met I saw in a dream that I was going to marry a Pastor (but when I moved in there I had forgotten about the dream-only remembered about it a week later, then it dawned on me; could it be?)

On 15th December my light bulb went off, so I had to fix it (I still blame it). He came to help, and one thing led to another, but I did not agree, he was persistent and then I just let go because he’s a Pastor, maybe he’s that husband I saw in a dream.

To cut the story short, things changed after 3 weeks, partly to blame, I was not supportive enough of his ministry because of my jealousy of other women, complaining non-stop and eating his money that was in my account.

I still love him. He has change. For the two weeks he treated me like a queen. The real hurtful is having to stay with him in the same house. Although he’s usually away for ministry. I feel hurt and rejected. He doesn’t even come to greet anymore. We used to cook and eat together. I miss him so much.

honey

January 26, 2017 at 3:00 pm

May I also add that I asked him that we should stop the intimacy part because we are both Christians and we should set a good example. He asked me if I can manage since we live under the same roof. I told him that’s very easy. If I can recall, that’s when disconnection also accelerated. But I still love him so much. He’s so masculine and I’m too feminine. We gelled a lot.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 27, 2017 at 9:56 am

Hi Honey,

I think you need to check this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

and you have to think too, if he went distant after telling him you dont want to be intimate because of your faith, does that show he really loves you?

Stephanie

January 20, 2017 at 6:48 pm

Yes my boyfriend didn’t come home from work yesterday and this morning he texted me saying he will be by later to get his things, we have lived together for just over 2 yrs now we’ve been having problems for awhile now, I just started counseling this week and want to know how to convince to stay and see if the counseling has a better influence on my outlook and the way I handle situations. 2 years ago he was all for counseling and waiting around but it has taking me this long to get started and now I’m afraid it’s too late. It’s there anything I can say or do for him to be willing to wait and see if counseling shows any signs of turning us around and back on the right path of love and happiness? Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 22, 2017 at 9:13 am

Hi Stephanie,

honestly the best you can do is to let him leave because he probably already expects you to beg..So, dont do it. Just start the change.. are you going to do the no contact rule?

Lola

January 18, 2017 at 6:08 am

Hey
So I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now.
Last week he told me that he had been feeling weird for about a month and felt like he wanted to break up.
That same day he broke up with me but regretted it like 5 minutes after.
So we’ve talked a lot and he tells me that he is really confused and doesn’t know why he feels that way. He also told me he doesn’t feel like that always.
So I’m confused, is it possible for him to feel that way without a reason?
He tells me it’s just something he feels and can’t explain it
Could it be a reason but he isn’t aware of it?
The last few month I started being kinda cold with him and we argued a lot, but it never is like a real fight
It’s just that i get mad about things he does and stuff
But I’m trying to be like I was before, more kind and loving, and stop arguing with him, because it’s always about the same things.

I really thing that he felt that way because of the arguing, even if it’s on an unconscious level but you never know so idk
I’m really confident my plan can work
But at the same time I feel like anything can happen so idk
What do you think?
What do you recommend?
Do you think my plan is a good plan?
Thank you 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2017 at 7:42 pm

Hi lola,

yeah, try that first..if it doesn’t work then proceed to no contact

Amilynn

January 3, 2017 at 5:35 pm

Hello, so my boyfriend and I are just about to make our 2 year count and things are getting rough, i am going to try to explain the main point as best as i could because it is very complicated. So we were like every average couple ,the happiest we could ever be but it all started to happen slowly over the course of a few months ago, it first started with him thinking “he doesn’t deserve me” because i am too good for him ? He says he just makes me sad and cry and that is true, but ONLY when we are getting through another problem that we have talked through and gotten over with. That is the only times where he does make me upset but he makes it seem as if its an everyday thing. Then came in the part where he would just ignore my texts and calls because he doesn’t want make me sad anymore? I was sad because i am trying to communicate about the issue while he is just pushing it aside, i know this is only going to make it worst so i keep trying and trying to go to him to talk about it , last time i seen him he just kept saying theres nothing we can do to change the way he is thinking and that it will continuously make him for distant and hurt me more (he just makes me sad, he doesn’t deserve me) but i know we can i do, but he isnt really putting in the effort because he has really made himself believe that ,thats all he does to me and that “im best off without him” ,he is really stubborn and i just want him to consider what im thinking but everytime i try ,im lost for words and i need a little guidance. (This has just happened so recently and i told him that we should just take a break but i didn’t tell him why but its for me to get a clear mind on what to say to him to try to convince him that leaving won’t solve anything and this could be fixed)

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2017 at 6:07 pm

Hi Amilynn

he broke up with you because you were constantly trying to convince him to talk about the problem? So he got annoyed? what was the problem?

Steph

December 18, 2016 at 8:57 am

Hi Chris..
I have been a relationship for 2years now, this is my first ever serious relationship, I met my boyfriend when I was 18 years and he was 22 then we were just buddies, we finally caught feelings for each other, but before we started dating, I asked what happened to his previous relationship, he said distance, then I told him, we live in two different cities how would this work, he said he is more matured to handel it now. Okay we started dating and the honeymoon stage was bliss, nothing could go wrong, until we had our first argument, he didn’t call that often as he used to do, and that affected me because I was used to that life. He now got a job and it seemed like he placed work over me all the time, that made us argue as well, I finally realised that we were growing up and things would change. I got accepted to a University outside the country and I believe that, was the beginning of the end of our relationship, we grew further apart, but we still loved each other. I am now 21 a he is 25, after a while I made new friends and finally had crush on one of them, and I cheated on my boyfriend, I felt terrible and when I got back home I told him what happened, he has not spoken to me in 2months, I want him to know how sorry I am, but I am afraid he would break up with me and it all my fault. What can I do, I am to meet with him today to “talk” and all I can think about is the talk might not end well for me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 21, 2016 at 11:29 am

Hi Steph,
how did it go?

Alice

December 14, 2016 at 1:29 am

Hi Chris,
So my boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for just over a year, things were going amazing, we both go to college and its a very stressful time of year with multiple assignment deadlines and christmas coming up and what not, we’ve been arguing more over the past two weeks and we try to always communicate the way we feel, I try to approach the situations as calmly as possible, he gets frustrated at first but we always come round both apologise and tell each other we love one another. We both can see that there’s a problem and we believe stress is the cause, and we both want to work on the relationship and are both ready to fight for it, but the arguments are still fairly consistant and we nearly always brush over the idea of breaking up but then we both immediately regret mentioning it and talk about what made us so angry in the first place. I believe we’re both committed, but both stressed, as well as he has trust issues and I have huge anxiety and very low self esteem, but we always make it through the arguments, but how do we get them to stop?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2016 at 1:31 am

Hi ALice,

talk to your school counselor individually and do you want to try the advice above?

Gwen

November 21, 2016 at 8:44 am

Hi, i’ve known my boyf for 1year and we started dating each other close to 8months. of course before we got together, i put him through many shits (ex issues) and he still patiently waited for me for 5months before getting together. when he asked me to be his girlfriend, he said which means he wants me to be his future wife. at the same time he got me a ring and proposed to me to be his girlfriend and i accepted it. he said he wants to married me as he knows and feel that i am the right one for him and of course i’m feeling the same thing too. he did changed his job as he told me he wants to give us a good future. during these 8months, most couples sure have their ups and downs. like sometimes he’s trying to tell me what to do, i’m very stubborn to even listen to him or i should say take his opinion into considerations. so things happen over and over again. 2days back he suddenly texted me saying, he’s been thinking for a long time about us. he feels that i’m still as beautiful as i am and he still do loves me. but he feels that our thinking and what we want is different. and before this hurts any of us he dont wanna drag this on any longer to spoil whatever nice memories we had. he also feels that maybe he can’t really give me what i want and our way of thinking doesn’t match and maybe we just are at different points in life. and he feels that i deserve someone better and take some time apart and really rethink about everything. and he still said “i love you” before he ends the conversation. so of course the first thing i did was went down to talk about it. but is not working. i cried and he hugged me and kissed me on my forehead. i can really feel that he really still do love me and can’t bear to leave me too.
i’m really lost as i don’t know what else can i do and change his mindset about it as i feel that this can really be solve. help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 23, 2016 at 12:32 am

Hi Gwen,

do you want to try the no contact rule? Check this one too:
What Makes An Ex Boyfriend Change His Mind About The Breakup?

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