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Post categories
Kyleigh
September 11, 2018 at 3:34 am
What do I do if the his ex is trying to use this method? I’ve already lost and broke up with him meanwhile she’s texting him and getting the best of him.
Help
September 3, 2018 at 2:44 pm
5593261767
Marissa
June 8th 10am
565575197
Here’s my story . I met a guy 11 months ago . He was head over heels for me . since the day we met he wanted to be together he introduced me to his friends and family , posted about me on his social media . But it was all to much for me I had just gotten out of a 2 1/2 year toxic relationship. So I pushed him away and I can honestly say I was kind of mean to him. So finally after about 4 months of him chasing me I decided I wanted to be with him . And he instantly said NO . And said that basically I pushed him away , but I could tell he still liked me because he would always come into my job to see me and we would still hang out
But then I would ask him about “us” he would avoid it or be rude about it . So I became kind of obsessive because I was hurt and confused . I would argue with him and sometimes block him for like a week at a time in social media . I was a mess . One time I even blew his phone up in the middle of the night while drunk .
Fast forward to a month ago right before NC , he invited me over I said no. Then a week later he posted a pic of a girl . I was so upset and I asked was it his Girlfriend and he said yes. The next day posted her again . was so hurt like how could he get a girl friend so fast. Everyone was saying it was to just make me jealous because after that day he never posted her again ,
I started the NC , I officially finished it and I did it the right way . Went 30 days without contacting him , I always posted on social media , he always looked at it and it ended it two days ago and I reached out to him , just with a simple message saying “hi” and he responded “hi how are you” I was happy to hear that . The conversation went on for two days , and then my last response was simple and he didn’t reply which I expected .
So now I’m confused, I don’t know if he has a girlfriend anymore . But he doesn’t come around my normal hangout spots anymore .
How would I find out ? & even tho he’s the one who ended that conversation should I reach out again ? Help…..
Chris Seiter
September 3, 2018 at 7:56 pm
Hi there Help!
Yes, I can see you are a model student of the ex recovery program except you first “reach out” message and those that should follow could use some sharpening. I provide a lot of examples in my Program materials about how to handle those text communications. I know its not easy to find the right words and tone and timing. You should consider some of these resources because there are a lot of twist and turns to come. And yes, wait a few days and try another text but please use on of the examples I talk about in my eBooks or on my site!
Betsy
August 31, 2018 at 7:13 pm
I was a seeing a man for 2 years. He starts not calling and seeing me as much so I asked if we were seeing other people he said no of course he was and I stopped contact with Jim for 4 months. We started up again and he told me that she wasn’t around anymore 6 weeks later I find that he was still with her. I blew up and called her telling her I was with him and what he said about her. Hence she took him back again no contact from me for over 30days. I had a bad sitting happen and needed him to talk to. He called me and called every day for a week like before we r just friends. He calls me like once a week He is still with the other woman
I am dating other men. Just no one yet that excites me. Should I stay the course and see what happens I miss a lot of his calls lol
Chris Seiter
September 1, 2018 at 1:10 am
Hi Betsy….if that is what you want to do. Maybe he will step up and tell you he is ending it with the other woman
Cee
August 26, 2018 at 2:13 am
Hi Chris,
I dated my ex for 3 years and after I broke up with him we stayed really close as friends. This was a couple of ago. I thought we stayed close because there were still feelings there. Recently I’ve been wanting to get back together but didnt know how to bring it up. He recently told me he’s seeing someone and I’m just a friend and I’ve misread the friendship. What do I do? Thanks.
Chris Seiter
August 27, 2018 at 4:05 am
Hi Cee!
The pragmatic thing to do is stay a part of his life and evaluate over time if he is serious about this other person. I call it the “Being There” approach. Keep things positive, but don’t crowd him. Do things to showcase your value….sometimes a little subtle jealousy can help with the right kind of guy.
Jojo
August 25, 2018 at 1:27 am
Hi Chris,
I’m at a loss at this point. My bf of three years broke up with me in march of 2017. He was going through a tough time and didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. for two of those years, we were also long distance because of my job.
I gave him distance, but didn’t know about the NC rule, so any time he would contact me, I would return his calls or texts. After I moved back to the city, every now and then, wed meet up and hang out, and sometimes it’d lead to sex. But he still would say that he didn’t want anything serious again, even though he cared about me and thought I was amazing. Around December, I finally had enough of his wishy washy behavior, and cut him off for the whole month, during which he was trying to contact me nonstop. When I finally did reach out, he said he was afraid I blocked him and that he wanted to meet up for ice cream when I came back from my parents after the holidays. So I thought he was turning around. he even drunk called me like he used too when we were together a few time. This is what he does when he cares about someone. He would continually tell me how amazing he thought I was and that he was sorry he broke my heart.
Well, I get back in January, and he keeps putting off meeting up. We don’t actually meet up until march 16th. During which, I invite him to go to the museum of ice cream with me in April. He agreed and said it sounded like fun. Our convo was fun, and normal, and he was even flirty with me.
Fast forward to the week before the museum, I had not heard from him since the last time we saw each other, so I call him and ask him whats up. He finally admits hes been dating, and one of the girls was upset he was still talking to me. He then tells me he wants me to move on, that he doesn’t see us getting back together, that im more attractive than this other girl, but it’s not enough. He said he still doesn’t want a relationship and feels like hes going to waste my time as the years go by if we stayed together. I didn’t get mad or scream, but I did beg a little bit for him to give me a second chance. I told him the LDR part of our relationship made it difficult for us to really have a “normal” relationship, so now that I’m back, he should give it a chance. He kept refusing and said that I’d find someone else in no time. And then he said the other girl didn’t want him going to the museum with me.
We had one last convo a few days later where I called to see if the chick changed her mind and he said no she hadn’t and he still couldn’t go, but that he didn’t want us to drift apart.
So as of April 2018 I have not spoken with him. I’ve learned so many tricks I wish I knew for right after we broke up because even though we’ve been in NC since April, I doubt it will have little effect now, assuming hes still with this other girl. he tried to call and text once at the end of April, but I ignored it. So stupidly, yesturday I thought enough time went by to contact him. So I called him and was going to tell him a quick funny story about something that remind me of him, and then end the convo. But he didn’t answer 🙁 Now I feel stupid. Maybe I should have left a voicemail because now im concerned that he thinks I was calling to beg again. He may have been busy working, and ive been too afraid to check my phone to see if he returned my call. I’m also afraid he was with her and thats why he didn’t answer. I have no idea what to do. I’d also love to buy your system, but I dont know if it can help my situation. Your advice would be greatly appreciated. I didn’t go to work today because I was super depressed about it.
Chris Seiter
August 26, 2018 at 1:46 am
Hi JoJo!
Look, JoJo, you are trying to do all the right things…so don’t worry about what has worked or hasn’t. Some things you can’t predict or control. Remember, its important to focus on your own recovery and arrive at a place where no matter what happens, you will be fine. Watch some of the podcasts on my site to help you with recovery and working toward being the best version of yourself…not for him…but for you and your happiness.
Jessica
August 23, 2018 at 1:22 am
Hi Chris,
Its been rollercoaster ride. On April of this year, i kicked my bf out of our apartment. I kicked him out because he was still acting as if he was still single, not prioritizing me, i just didnt feel respected. The 1st two months he was ver cold, mean & rude to me. Yet, he would still come around and we would go out. I was still trying to work things out. The following two months he started to open up more and show more affection towards me. He would tell me he loved me, missed me, how he wanted to come back to me. I was still confused because there were times where he would be distant as if he was confused of what he wanted. I had finally decided that I had to think for myself now. It was July, I went NC for 2 weeks I was so heartbroken yet I tried to move on I was focusing on myself finally going out with guy and girl friends. After 2 weeks, my ex comes to my house furious because he knew I was going out due to my facebook pictures. He starts questioning me if I was talking to guys, etc. We talk things through. The next morning, we go have breakfast we hang out for the following 2 weeks. I just thought things were going to be worked out and be together again. So, then he offers to help me move out and I accept his offer. I am driving his car with boxes on the passenger and back seats. After I park, I am about to grab a box from the passengers seat when I notice a lipstick on the floor. I confronted him and he didnt have anything to say. I just feel like he should’ve told me he was dating or talking to someone before me finding out. Now, things i feel make sense that probably that is the reason why he seemed confused. Yet, why would he tell me he missed me or loved me? Was he just messing with my feelings? Was he just making an effort to move on and to forget bout me by talking yo someone. A lot of things have been going through my mind Chris. Ive been in NC for 3 weeks now i blocked him right after I confronted him. I feel like we are done completely. What are your thoughts? What advice do you give me?
Chris Seiter
August 23, 2018 at 11:08 pm
Hi Jessica!
I know…breakups can be wild roller coaster rides. I am not so sure if this relationship is over. Some guys can think and act out of both sides of their brain. He probably does feel drawn to you and connected to you. And yet jealousies and resentment can get into the mix of things. I suggest you remain in NC, but unblock him. I tend to think its better to keep lines of communication open so you can gauge things. You do have my Ebook, right? If not, go get so you are guided by master plan.
Jai
August 17, 2018 at 6:33 pm
Thank you for your answer Chris. No, I’ not sure of being understanding you, can you explain it to me? Thank you a lot
Chris Seiter
August 17, 2018 at 9:07 pm
Probably best to just go back to my latest post (How To Steal Your Ex From The Ohter Woman) and re-read as the principles of how to navigate this issue is covered well in the video and on the podcast.
Jai
August 16, 2018 at 10:47 pm
Hi Chris
My NC ended today (30 days NC) but I don’t feel like texting him. He even left my last text unread for four weeks (and it was an anwser to his question) after that conversation I told here about before (he wanted to set a day for facetime and before, a video of me for seeing me, last thing he said was that he was happy and the next day, before anything happened he has changed his mind and wanted to wait. I initiated NC before that last unresponded and unread text I mentioned).
I feel rejected. Invisible. Insignificant.
Could I extend my NC period until he texts if he does? Or set a limit where I text him if he doesn’t but not soon. I need to be him initiating. Maybe there are something I can do to increase my chances of him “chasing” me. But I don’t feel like texting now and I doubt I feel better. He had never left my text unread for four weeks weeks (ten days top and he had stopped doing it long time ago, it hurts that he did it again, even when I was just answering to his question and we were talking in good terms).
Still, I don’t know if he is dating another girl (I am very afraid of that I have no evidences to think that, but…) or just acting weird in general, but I don’t feel comfortable.
What do you think? Can I extend my NC and just try something to increase my chances of him initiating?
Thank you a lot!!
Chris Seiter
August 16, 2018 at 11:56 pm
So, the really underrated thing I see happening a lot is actually people who prime during the no contact. That yields responses a lot of times.
Are you familiar with this terminology or do you need a crash course?
Jessica
August 16, 2018 at 5:08 pm
This. As someone who started dating someone who was on friendly terms with his ex 2 months after their 2 year relationship ended, while I don’t think she was trying to get him back, I couldn’t help but feel insecure that he wanted to be with her. He was crazy about me, he worshiped the ground I walked on, there was literally nothing wrong in our relationship, except these little pangs of jealousy I would get anytime I saw they had been in touch in any way. Our first fight was about her. Our second fight was about her. Our break up was about her. He said he was tired of me being insecure, jealous and dramatic. If she had been trying to break us up it would have worked. We tried to be friends after the break up, we almost succeeded, but then we had one last big fight, it got ugly, and now he’s blocked me. Guess who he has never blocked and will still be friends with even though she broke up with him…
Chris Seiter
August 16, 2018 at 11:55 pm
Like I said, it’s one of those morally grey area type things. It’s just something I’ve noticed works. Very controversial though.