Why Am I Sad After I Broke Up With My Ex Boyfriend

194 thoughts on “I Broke It Off With Him Now I Miss Him”

Catherine

July 11, 2019 at 3:40 pm

Hey I just read your article so here’s my story,

My ex and I were together for 2.5 years,both college students at the same department.Since the beginning we had a rocky road but it made us come closer.However,his bad childhood,made him what we call a perfectionist and manipulative person.Let me mention that I have been diagnosed with OCD and last year,due to academic pressure and relationship pressure I had an OCD attack that lasted for the whole summer.I was compulsively thinking that I should end the relationship.Anyways on September my OCD symptoms subsided and I was much better with him.
However,after Christmas that we took some time off because of my controlling behaviour,he started treating me really bad.He would insult me,tell me bad comments about my style and that he wanted me to dress more slutty.He would call me names,threaten me to leave me if I didn’t do what he asked.During our weekly fights he would “test” my ability to do things the way he wanted to and if I failed,he would tell me that I wasn’t trying at all and he wanted more cause I was “mediocre”.On the other hand,I would do anything he asked for,running behind him and always apologising and telling him that he’s right and I wasn’t trying enough.
Every time I tried to be the tough one and told him that I would leave he would apologise and tell me how much he loved me and he was sorry for hurting me.Of course I would give him a chance and the next time his requests would be even more paranoid.
One day I just couldn’t deal with this anymore.Things had been calm for a while but I wasn’t feeling happy.All these insults,him humiliating me…I was the only person that helped him and supported him in some difficult times and I always felt that he never considered that and appreciated it.
Btw EVERYONE around me would tell me to break up,at least 6 months before it actually happened.
So here comes June.I just called him and said I couldn’t do this anymore and that I couldn’t be what he wanted me to be,that I was just faking it and that wasn’t who I really was.
For two weeks he would try to get me back,calling me and cry over the phone.And I felt that I had done the right thing for the first time in my life.
However,the last week has been like hell for me.I was actually cyber stalking him and noticed that he added some new friends on Facebook.He also updated his profile pic and seemed happy.Immediately I thought that he found someone else.
Ever since I can’t stop thinking about him.I miss him so bad and feel like my decision was wrong.I can’t stand the pain of watching him move on with his life although I broke things off.I know my OCD doesn’t help at all either.I’m addicted to him.I really believed that this time this wouldn’t happen cause It felt right for the first three weeks.
Now all I do is cry and keeping myself from not texting him.I want to apologize for cutting things off out of the blue.For breaking his heart.I don’t know if I should be with him.I just miss him and can’t imagine that we will not talk to each other again.I never wanted to be dead to each other.I just feel so bad and confused….
Shel

July 3, 2019 at 10:57 pm

Hi Chris, here’s my story.
I grew up a very dysfunctional family. I was the Cinderella and there was my father, my stepmother and my much younger half sister. I was the servant. Worthless…
I met this person at the age of 18 and half. We started dating. Nothing was serious. It was my first relationship but I was indeed emotionally involved. A year after we met, it has become a serious relationship. I was severely abused emotionally and psychologically during my teenage hood. So I believed I was a difficult to deal with from my boyfriend’s perspective. But he was very accommodating. He took care of me. I realized how does it feel to be loved. Then, at the age of 22, i have decided to pursue my studies in a different city far away (6hrs by plane). He was very supportive. We were long distance for another 3 and half years. We see each other every summer and during Christmas season. During my studies, I went no contact with my narcissistic father. I was traumatized and suddenly broke. My bf was working at a café and his friend lent his money so I can finish university while waiting for government’s financial help. Anyway, a year before I completed my degree, his widowed mother came to join us in Canada from another country. Because I grew up in such a dysfunctional family, I knew she was difficult right after living with her for 3 days. Then I left after winter break for university. That’s when I started to fight with my bf everyday on the phone. I was scared of meeting another woman like my evil stepmother. He hasn’t lived with his mother for around 10yrs, he thought that I jumped to the conclusion too fast. I came back for summer break and it was hell living with her. I mentioned earlier that my bf was accommodating then I realized it’s because he has a narcissistic mother. His mother is the queen and her son is the servant. She is not happy seeing us happy together. She puts me down. She treated me like nobody. I felt like how I used to feel when I was living with my father and his wife. I wanted to move out with bf, but he doesn’t agree. Money was an issue and of course his narcissistic mother. My bf will do anything to avoid angering his mother. His mother even used suicide many times as an excuse to get her son do what she wants. Anyway, it was so hard for me to re-live my past. I thought my bf could protect me and no. After summer I went back to university for my last semester. Our relationship almost came to an end because I pushed him to move out with me. He was not on board. I felt like I was not his priority. We have lost the sparkle. Within a few months time, I found well paying job. And our relationship went back on track. He was so happy as it took a lot of financial burden off of his shoulder. I mentioned moving out again. He was still not sure. He wanted to wait his mother to move out before him. I now guess it’s because he knew how his mother would react and that she has no shame in causing a scene, even in public. At the same time, his mother was living partially with her new fiancé. So I didnt have to face her every day anymore. Within the next 5-6months, we finally moved. Life was not perfect, because I wasn’t sure if he put me as his priority or he is enmeshed with his mother. It reminded again of my own past. My father chose my stepmother over me. That’s why I suffered tremendously. I asked myself why evil people win all the time? I still dont have an answer. When we lived alone with my bf, his mother would constantly call him. Even when she cut bit of her thumb while cooking. She used the victim tactic to get her son visit her at her fiancé’s place. Am I just too sensitive? It’s his relationship with his mother ultimately. Why I still felt hurt and angered? 9 months after we moved out, I fell into depression. I stopped working. My bf started taking care of me. I’d gone back to work a few times but I was not ready. I needed time to rest and breathe. Two and half years later, I finally quit the job that I dont like. Now it’s been almost three months that I’m jobless. I broke up with him a few months ago but he just moved out a few days ago. I have to say, yes, he is not that attached to his mother’s umbilical cord anymore. He has the courage to shout at her if necessary. He seemed to have “improved”. But we argued a lot. It’s always so difficult to communicate with him.
Hmm..the ultimate question is, do you think our relationship is worth to be saved? Or is it doomed to end. It seems like probably my childhood wound is still open. I haven’t healed from it completely. But I’m seeing a therapist. However, in regards to my love relationship. Everybody seems to have their own opinion. Please help.
Mika

July 3, 2019 at 1:38 pm

I just broke up with my girlfriend, two days ago. First off, I dated her too soon (in my opinion) after my divorce was finalized. I had trouble trusting her, once she was drunk and made out with someone, and she also had been in an abusive sexual and romantic relationship with her spiritual mentor for years, relationship that she ended because she got with me. But she still had unprotected sex with him while we were together. She cheated on boyfriends in the past, and she kept saying she wasn’t her past, and her cheating on me while we were together was too contextual to be considered as cheating. Thing which with I agree somehow, but it’s hard to trust after that. She also loved me a lot, and I felt bad because I loved her okay. I enjoyed spending time with her, I wasnt particularely sexually attracted to her, meaning I never really felt sexual in the relationship. I also felt like a jerk for not being able/wanting to pretend to love her as much as she would’ve needed me to to be happy.

She was kind, sweet, loving, forgiving, understanding, we had so much in common, and I miss her.
Jojo

June 30, 2019 at 7:32 pm

Recently split with my boyfriend of 18 months. I’m 36 with 2 children, he’s 29 with none.
Met on a dating site and instantly clicked. 4 months into the relationship I discovered he slept with someone else on holiday. He said we’d only been together a month and it meant nothing so I forgave him. Fast forward a year and although he adores me and is respectful and great with my kids, he doesn’t allow me any space! He literally moved in and claimed it as ‘his family’. He has no family here at all and his mother isn’t with us so he’s very lonely. I felt he came to depend on me physically and emotionally and wanted a VERY exclusive and almost movie like relationship. It wore me down as I lost myself as a person.
I finished it and he is distraught. He’s begging me back daily. I miss him as we had fun together and so much in common. I’m just scared of trying again and feeling smothered. It is hard as I really feel a piece of me is missing.

Chris Seiter

June 30, 2019 at 10:11 pm

Hi Jojo…perhaps just having an understanding with him that part of your recovery going forward is having some time and space would be a step in the right direction. You can tell him it does not have to be the end of things. But healing and perspective is important, before trying to come back together as a couple. Take a look at my Program – Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro Bundle – as I talk about how all these things are integrated.

Mensuck

June 27, 2019 at 5:09 pm

10 months and he wouldn’t be exclusive with me. I feel in my gut he has had other women around this whole time. Sometimes he would be so attentive and we’d see each other a lot and other times we’d see each other only one time in a week and he never would ask to hang out on weekends. I called it quits and told him not to contact me and he hasn’t. And I have been in no contact this three weeks too. Initially I felt ok with my decision but as time is elapsing, I’m starting to miss him more and more. I thought no contact would make me heal and move on but the opposite is happening. I have been keeping very busy and working on myself these three weeks. Why am I missing him more? I know he’s not going to commit to me and leaving him was the right decision but week three nc is terrible. I want to text him very badly. What is going on? Haaalp!
Alina

June 27, 2019 at 9:15 am

I was living with my ex almost 1.5 years!
When I met him he was emotionally vulnerable, because he just move into a completely different country then ours. He had no friends, no one he could really go out, no home that he could call as home. By chance on a dating website we met and decided to see each other. Since he was very lonely, he wanted to spend as much time as possible with me. The first time I saw his simile I fall for him, so I could not say no to him, although I knew he was alone and could attach me regardless of love.
Time passed by, he was willing to buy an apartment and he started to insist me that he want to move in my place until he bought an apartment (like after 3 months of dating). (BTW he was already living with me but he had a room which he was paying rent.) I did not like to idea, because I already have some feelings that he was with me because he did not have anyone else but me in the country. I told him that it is too soon for us, he can still stay in my place but if one day I want to move in with someone it is not going to be only for practical reasons but also for love. I got very upset and disappointed. But eventually, I did not want to lose him and he officially moved in my place 6 months after we met.
After a month we moved in a new apartment which was also on my name. Moving was emotionally very difficult for me because I loved my previous apartment and didn’t want to leave. But I had to leave, and decided to make the new place a “home” for both of us. I was also excited to live with him, because I loved him so much! However, I always felt that he is with me because he needs an accommodation, someone to cook for him and someone for him not to feel alone. That made very confused and lonely. When I shared this to him, he said that is not true! Of course he has done nice things for me, made me laugh, help me during difficult times as well, but in the course of the relationship, most of the time, I felt lonely and envy to other couples I see. I had my moments where I could not cope with my anger to him, and since I always thought that he was taking advantage of me, I told him couple of time to leave me and go out of the apartment.
Time passed by, he started to have friends. He had friends, a girl cooks and cleans for him, he was happy. He started to come come very late every weekend. Started to chat with people, go out etc. He actually never really involved me in his plans which he had with his friends. Although I was involving him to everything I did with my friends he did not want to come, or came to just eat and go meet his own friends. All those things started to make me very unhappy. I also had some issues at work and could not handle everything I was feeling and I started to take antidepressants. The medicine I was taking made me relaxed but I was still feeling lonely, not loved or cared. I accumulated many feelings in. I try to talk to him about his behavior that he prioritized his friends over me, but he could never understood me. He always said this is how he is and he had problems in same issue before. I did not ask him not to meet his friends, I asked him to spend more energy on our relationship and us. But I could not see if he has done anything.
Again time passed by, like 5 months ago, he decided to go visit his family and friends in our home country during his birthday. And I thought I can surprise him and organize a party inviting his friends cousins etc to his mothers place. His mother was very happy about this, I booked my flight and organized everything in my mind I was so happy and felt very involved in his life. But the very the same night I talked to his mother, he asked me if I am coming to our city, if so he does not want me to come because he has not time to spend with me. He wants to spend time with his friends and family. I was so offended and cried deep inside. I just told him what he has just said was not okay and made me upset. The day after his mother texted me asking something and I told her what he has said. She then said okay maybe you should not surprise him. I was shocked and felt very betrayed and cried so much at some point I didn’t have any tear left! But I went to the country because my parents also live in the same city. And I was expecting him to make it up but he has not. And he told me that his friends are his priority in our home town, since I and he see each other everyday. I could not accept it.
From then our relationship went down to hell! I told him if he feels like this what reason is keeping him to live with me? I told him to pack his things and move out as soon as he can. It was February. He told me that he is going to buy an apartment and we will see how our relationship will be like. Because he though, or believe the problems we were having was because of living together. But I could not accept this, if I can not live with someone what is the purpose of keeping the relationship. Eventually he bought an apartment, he did not ask me or take me the apartment anything. He took his keys at the 29th of May. The 10th of June his mother would come and help him, he asked me if they can stay in my place with his mother until she fixed everything in his new place. I first said okay, and then realized that the idea started to make me sick. And I told him that I do not want them to stay here. As soon as he takes the keys he should start moving.
he indeed started to fixed his place, I packed his clothes etc. Everything was going smoothly. But for some reason he kept living with me. He still have some few stuff left in my place, but neither of us were involving each other in our lives. He even lied to me where and whom he went out.
My stupid sister contacted my ex, who was actually more a very good friend rather then a boyfriend, telling that I am breaking up and am upset. He of course texted me and offered me a weekend in their summer house. I thanked to him and said I don’t think it is a good idea. And I texted my sister about this, and told her I wish I could go because I need to go away, but my bf still is staying with me.
And my boyfriend, read my messages with my sister when I was in the shower. He got crazy told me that I am a disgusting hoer who started to see her ex will have sex, even before he moved out. He teared down his t-shirt collect everything he had and left me. I cried a lot and begged him not go because he misunderstood. But he left.
The first couple of days I did not understand actually what happened. But when I realized I got crazy, I texted his mother telling her what he has done to me and blocked her. I sent him very nasty angry message about what kind of a person he is etc. I started to go a therapist every week.
I am now calmer, I just miss him like hell. I even miss the times he made me miserable, because I knew he would eventually come home and I would wake up with him. His smell is now gone from the apartment, he has nothing left as if he has never been there. I can not live in this place longer because I can not breath
inside. It has been 23 days now. But I can not put myself together still. Once he came to fix something in the apartment. I started to kiss him and begged him to not to go. I humiliated myself a lot. But only thing I saw from him was he moved on with his life. He is happy with is apartment everything. I do not know what I want from him. But I want him to understand what a big mistake he has done. I want him to feel horrible for what he has done to me.
Please tell me something, give me some advice to pull myself up.

Thank you very much

Chris Seiter

June 27, 2019 at 2:01 pm

Hi Alina…I can see a lot has happened and you have been thru a lot. I hope you are taking advantage of my Program to help you through this process. Your healing and recovery is very important and that is one of the cornerstones of my Program

Karen

June 19, 2019 at 12:33 pm

Hi Chris,

I ended the relationship with my boyfriend because he repeatedly would disappear and ignore my messages. The first couple of times this happened I was totally distraught and so sad but then this last couple of times i began to harden myself and get angry and then I felt that it just wasn’t healthy to be repeatedly subjected to this. So I messaged him to say that , knowing he wouldn’t answer the phone or meet. However, when we were together, and even when not, I feel like we are sooooo close, soul mates. I love everything about him. And it feels mutual – very intimate and close. We tell each other we love each other all the time etc. etc.. I feel he serves my human and spiritual growth; I feel so completely happy when i am with him or talking or texting with him. So now, after ending it with him, I feel so miserable and sad; like the light has gone out of my life… I of course would have wanted to talk about it with him and even said that in my message … but he hasn’t replied…. so I am just left with the pain…. feeling like a failure in love; despairing etc,.. I want to tell him that I just couldn’t cope with him disappearing and ignoring me but i miss him sooo much…and would love to be with him but need to work out something about the disappearing.. he is an unusual person… very sensitive, spiritual, a psychic… Any suggestions?
j

June 18, 2019 at 7:29 pm

Hi,
I met him at the grocery store. It seemed kinda like fate because it turned out neither of us was supposed to be there that day. We ended up being together for a little over 2 years. He’s my first boyfriend and so far my only love. We saw each other every day. For the first year, we didn’t go out much because he was unemployed. From there his money and living situation got worse and worse. I supported him for a long time. It caused him to stress and change. He was angrier, we’d fight all the time. Then he cheated with his ex. We broke it off and later he explained that with everything going on, his mind just wasn’t in the right place. I forgave him but we consistently struggled with trust issues. Ex’s would call or I’d see things on his phone that was sketchy and I’d get upset and break it off. Or I’d accuse him of being unfaithful. He even told me once “I’m trying so hard but you’re breaking me” and that he wouldn’t be defined by the one time he cheated. Into our second year he did make changes. He started communicating more, being clear of how much I meant to him, going on dates. But when he got angry over small arguments (two times) I was thrown to the ground and the door shut behind me. Still, I took him back. He said for the first time ever “I need to treat you better. I’m sorry for all I’ve done to you that you don’t deserve and I’m going to be better” and he was. We were in such good terms for months after that I felt more in love than even in the beginning. We worked hard to get there. He got a new phone and I saw dating profile notifications. Not messages but “* liked you! Match now” He said it was because he restored from iCloud. I took that as a lie and walked away. He said that he never lied and that it doesn’t matter because women always leave. He said he didn’t lie to me and I wouldn’t listen to talk it out and I abandoned him and left. He said “sorry that you have to live with feeling like i lied to you. I hate that you have to live with that. Because I didn’t. You won’t ever hear from me again” and that he was tired of me walking out and abandoning him. Now I can’t get him back, I’m blocked on everything. I feel like he was trying and I messed up everything. I feel like maybe I made a huge mistake. What if it really was from iCloud? What if I lost my love by acting too quickly? I pushed him to always communicate and I didn’t even give him that same communication back. I just…left.
MJ

June 17, 2019 at 1:24 am

Hi,

I met my bf 4 years ago. The beginning was a bit rocky. He broke up with me after 7 months because I couldnt drive him to the airport. We got back together a month later. He still had anger issues from his recent divorce causing him to react rashly. We then got together a month later and were together for a year before he broke up with me again. This time is was due to my being in an accident and breaking my foot. He thought I was too “needy”. He never came to my home and helped me. I helped him babysit his granddaughter and I needed help getting my knee scooter in and out of the car and help carrying things due to my inabilty to walk. After this breakup I was very hurt and angry and shut him out of my life. Once in awhile he would send me a friendly email and I would ignore it. 10 months went by while he went from gf to gf. Finally I agreed to meet him so I could see his granddaughter again. After that he emailed me that he was moving and seeing all of his family things reminded him of his divorce and he was devastated. I felt bad for him and helped him. Needless to say he said he had changed and wanted me back.
I gave him another chance and we have had a good couple of years since. The one thing that had bugged him in the past was that he said I talked too much at times and didnt let him speak when I got excited about something. I tried to be mindful of this and watch how much I talk. Last weekend I paid for him to come to my daughter’s wedding because he wasnt excited to go. I took him to Chicago to visit where I grew up. The weather wasnt good and he wasnt having much fun. I drove him by where I went to college and was excited pointing out all the places I recognized. He seemed fine with that. The next day when we driving home from the airport he was teasing me in a mean spirited way about talking too much about seeing my old school. I got very irritated with him. After we got home he stopped really talking to me. Then 2 days later he sent me an email saying he was sorry for teasing me but that I was just like a crazy woman we both know who talks non stop. He said he loves me but I am not normal and should be on medication. It drives him nuts that I talked lot when I was showing him my old school. He said he was in a bad place and smashed his CD player and blew off meeting 2 people that he was supposed to which had nothing to do with me. I rashly sent him an email saying that if believes the hurtful things he said then he should find someone else. I help him and encourage him alot. I have painted rooms for him, babysat his grandkids etc… He is my best friend and the love of my life. I am devastated. He hasnt spoken to me since I emailed him. I dont know if I did the right thing or not. I have never been so connected to anyone in my life and the loss of him in my life is enormous. I wish I could be less irritating to him but I wish he would tell me when I am, instead of letting it fester and emailing me about it days later. Any advice?
Thanks!!

Chris Seiter

June 17, 2019 at 3:40 am

HI MJ….relationships can get complicated and I know he means a lot to you and you are going thru a lot. What is important going forward is for you to find some healing. I talk about that in my Program…..the recovery activities are key. Sometimes just give each other some space can be helpful and a brief period of No Contact can help balance out the emotions. Check out my Program to learn more as there are many moving pieces associated with the post breakup period.

Ana

June 14, 2019 at 10:33 pm

Hi Chris, I ended my relationship about 2 weeks ago. I was in this relationship for about 2 months, everything was great at the beginning but things were moving to fast for me. I felt that he came on too strong and I felt the need to back up, and then the roles reversed. I started to act a bit clingy and I felt those were reactions I had had in a past relationship where I didn’t trust my partner. I started acting irrationally and decided to end the relationship because my actions were starting to freak me out. I felt like it was best for me to walk away and work on myself. What haunts now is the way I ended the relationship via text message. He never did anything for me to not trust or doubt him, I let him slip away and now I regret it. What do I do from here?
Georgia U

June 12, 2019 at 3:27 am

Hi Chris,

I broke up with my ex boyfriend 6 months ago after being together for a year and living together for most of that time. In the build up to breaking up with him I suffered from very severe anxiety and had thoughts of “do I even love him?” Even though I know I do. Small things he did also came to annoy me which I think was also a result of my stress and overthinking.
When we broke up we did not really do the non contact thing. In fact 2 months later (and after moving to different cities) I was feeling so guilty for hurting him I reached out to him. He was mad and 1 week after that called me back and told me that I needed to fix myself before we could be together. He also said we couldn’t be together for another year. He was really hurt. Since then he’s reached out to me twice once to check up on me and another time to tell me he didn’t want to see me when he came to my city to visit friends of his. I agreed with him because that’s his decision but I’m also really hurt that he didn’t want to see me.
I really miss him and I still have very strong feelings towards him. I also know however that I need to work on myself, build my confidence back up and fix my anxiety before I jump back into a relationship with him. On the other side of this I’m also fearful that he’s going to move on and I’ll loose my opportunity. Where do I go from here? Should I message him? Can you please help?
Alexa

June 7, 2019 at 11:18 am

Hello Chris,
This is the first time I’ve written to a forum of sorts. I broke up with my boyfriend last week, for the silliest of reasons and so I panicked and left. I have never done this before. Part of me blames it on being tired, in pain (I broke my foot three weeks ago) and, sadly, having had too much to drink and a reaction to gossip. He’s from Corsica and 38, I’m English but from Zimbabwe and 49 and we both live in the same village in France. He is also helping me restore my house, but not for free.
I adore him, he thought the world of me and we both knew it.
Today I went round to discuss next week’s work schedule as neither of us felt like working this week. He looked terrible and his eyes welled up as soon as he saw me. So did mine. Despite all my good intentions work was not discussed. Instead I acknowledged my awful wrong-doing and how I truly blame myself for the situation. I don’t expect him to fully forgive me and I would never beg for a second chance (which I DO want). He wasn’t cold, or distant, but did say that things and events can’t be changed.
As I have never been in this hideous position before, I have no idea whether I should just grit my teeth and tell myself that I have learned an invaluable lesson at someone else’s great expense and take him at his word or if this is a typical response after 8 days. He is an emotional being, more so than he appears.
I really don’t care what the rest of the village makes or will make of this situation. However, some insight from an experience third party would be greatly appreciated.

Chris Seiter

June 8, 2019 at 1:51 am

Hi Alexa….It always takes two people to make a breakup happen. Its never one person’s fault. Sometimes just making use of some space and time and doing some things to focus on your own healing is the best medicine. Take a look at my Program (EBR Pro) to learn more of the details!

Maddie

June 5, 2019 at 5:33 am

Chris, I am in a lot of pain. Yesterday I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 years. He was sweet, attentive, supportive, quiet and kind. Our relationship was loving and respectful. We went through so much together. He was patient with me as I struggled through almost a year of depression and anxiety. If I needed anything, he’d drop whatever he was doing. Everyone in my life adored him and I always feel so in awe that a guy like him exists and didn’t judge me, even after seeing me at my darkest moments. He is also extremely sensitive and idealistic, so the breakup was horrible, he was sobbing and angry in ways I’ve never seen him and he unceremoniously sent me away from his apartment.
The reason for the breakup is I was starting to lose my sense of self in the relationship. Before dating him, I had always been fiercely and proudly independent. Turning 25 made me realize that I have no idea what I’m doing or who I want to be (and the depression zapped a lot of my personality to the point where I feel like I’m starting from square one). Before I realized we had to break up, I decided to move across the country to get clarity. I have been in the same city for the last 7 years (a city my ex loves) and for the last three years, I yearned to try somewhere new but kept holding myself back. We were going to try long distance, but last week we were talking about the move and I panicked and realized how far I’ve strayed from who I am. Not because of him, he always does his best to support me, but because I compromised who I was to make it work in a city I increasingly disliked.
I can see myself marrying this person someday. I have no interest in dating anyone else. I feel like I just let go of the perfect guy, the last 48 hours has been a series of alarm bells of regret, panic, fear, and emptiness and I don’t know what to do.

Chris Seiter

June 5, 2019 at 9:56 pm

I know it hurts Maddie…but you are going to get thru this because you are so much stronger than even you realize. The breakup is not all your fault..it’s never one person’s fault. Relationships are complicated. Focus on your healing because when you are right in the mind and spirit, then it a lot easier to make good decisions and see the bigger picture.

Nessie

May 18, 2019 at 3:26 pm

My ex and I broke up 3 months ago. We had the best relationship however we also had our fair amount of disagreements and I’ve depression. For a year he’s relented to me and I’m grateful but I felt it was too much and I wanted to release him but I felt it came out wrongly and now he is angry I dumped him he wanted to be friends but I couldn’t because it was hard and now he told my Friend he’s moved on but told me I should take a break and not think I lost him. He also got mad when I replied something that didn’t suit his reply because I was dealing with something. It’s an LDR, and I do want to get him back but not without him talking to me first. We have been dating for a year plus.
nazrin

May 14, 2019 at 10:25 am

hi,i have been in a relationship for the past 2 and half years.we had a great time but everytime we had a fight for no reason he pushes me away everytime i go and didnt tell me the reason for that.he blocked me on everysite and i was very upset on that .for the last 2 months he was abusive and didint talk to me.i begged to him to talk to me but he didnt respond and i decieded to come out from this relationship and didnt talk to him for weeks and few days back he tried to know my whereabouts through my friend and i didnt gave the chance for that.i broke up with him yesterday and he messaged me about all the efforts he made and he said he didnt regret this and he was angry on me bt trying not to show it .after reading those texts i have the feeling that i did the wrong thing.what should i do?
Heartbroken

April 26, 2019 at 5:02 pm

I broke up with my LDR of 5 years. We basically had become “special friends” and I knew he had lots of female friends but I still became jealous when he loaned one of them money after telling me how poor he always was. Was I wrong/unreasonable? I miss him like crazy!!!

Chris Seiter

April 27, 2019 at 3:58 am

Perhaps just take a little break from each other. Maybe emotions got in the way of things for you both. Take a look at my Program as I talk about different periods of No Contact and in this case you may want to keep it short, yet do all the other things that help you thru this process.

Second guessing my decision

April 16, 2019 at 11:58 pm

We were together 3 years. Then he told me he was going on a fishing trip out of State with his buddies. After he returned, we were texting each other and he sent me a bunch of photos of him and another woman. The photos were all time stamped during the fishing trip. Turns out this other woman was texting him at the same time as me and she asked for the photos. He sent them to me by mistake. She was someone he dated 30 years ago and hasn’t had any contact with her until he starting thinking about her…and planned the fake fishing trip.
He apologized to me for lying but said “he didn’t want to have to tell anyone about every move he made.” I just walked out. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in 3 weeks but I did answer a text after 1 week asking “do you miss me?”. I asked him the same question back but he didn’t answer. He then said he saw a photo of me out at a restaurant on Instagram. Last Friday he texted me “are you out tonight?”
I haven’t answered any texts in 2 weeks. I feel so heartbroken.
Michelle

April 16, 2019 at 3:36 am

I broke up with my ex a week ago. I was emotionality drained. We talked about every thing except the relationship. Whenever I tried to talk about our relationship, he would shut down. He would call me daily, during breaks, and when he got off work, however I got tired of seeing things out of order when go to his apartment. For example: another tooth brush, earrings that were not mine, my bath wash hidden, and at certain times, he would not answer my calls. Finally, after about 10 months, I asked him “are you having sex with anyone other than me”? I got no response so, I broke it off.
Celeste Bevivino

April 15, 2019 at 9:14 pm

Hello!

I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years almost three weeks ago.
We’ve been together for a long time but our relationship was not moving in any direction due to his depression and his instability to keep a job or his ability to save money for us to finally move in together. He was finally starting to take care of himself by seeing a therapist and taking some meds but then I started to having doubts about our future. I didn’t believe we were going to make it anymore… So I broke up with him and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. We were each other best friends, he was my first, but I was imagining myself in 5/10 years and all I could see was unhappiness and resentment towards him. Now I miss him, I miss his presence, I miss his hugs and I miss talking to him.

Chris Seiter

April 16, 2019 at 12:32 am

HI Celeste…have you considered No Contact. Give my Program a look (EBR PRO).

Ria

April 9, 2019 at 4:00 pm

I broke up with my bf a week ago after 3 years in a long distance relationship. We’ve had a lot of issues around distance and communication as he was always a lot busier than I was so I felt like I wasn’t getting a lot of time or attention. I knew he was giving more attention to other people and making more of an effort with them while telling me he was too busy to talk a lot. I was always so frustrated about this and decided I had enough and broke up with him. Now I’m left so hurt and upset by the decision because I feel like he’s completely fine and happy with his life. I thought we could atleast be friends but he didn’t respond to my message and I have no idea on how to move forward from here. I don’t want to be in a relationship with him because I know it won’t ever work but I don’t know how to move past it

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