I Made Out With My Ex Boyfriend... Now What?

81 thoughts on “I Made Out With My Ex Boyfriend, Now What?”

E

April 18, 2017 at 6:03 pm

Hi Amor,
So I tried to find a better answer to this throughout the entire website but couldn’t. I did the first text and was a really good one, I got a good response and we exchanged 4 texts each. I was about to end the conversation and he didn’t reply until over a day later. By this time I then replied cause obviously couldn’t end it then by saying bye before I even spoke that day so I replied with the intention of cutting it short but again he took over a day to reply AGAIN so that’s one text a day usually in the mornings, so I couldn’t end the conversation. He is giving good responses and asking me questions like how I am and things so seem s like he wants to keep the conversation going and also why would he reply if he didn’t want to talk, BUT then he is only sennding one a day so very slow replies and hasn’t replied at all since my last message nearly two days ago. How shall I approach this because I can’t end the conversations like I want to, but neither is he and it’s just like one conversation that could be had in two minutes stretched out over so far four days?? Should I message him again? I don’t really want to be the one to initiate after I should’ve done a longer NC than 35 days anyway AND I don’t want to come across as needy considering he hasn’t replied. Also sounds bad but he doesn’t work and I know that he isn’t very busy at the minute so he does have time to talk? I’m worried that I’m right and that maybe he is seeing someone else’s but as I dont know this for a fact I don’t want to message him and look stupid. PLEASE HELP with my next step! I’ve s spent hours going through the chapters and pages and can’t come to a conclusion

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 22, 2017 at 2:04 pm

Restart no, do at least 45 days.. Continue being active in improving yourself and in posting even if he’s not your friend.. And then follow the texting advice here:

Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

E

April 16, 2017 at 8:51 am

Please help me. I posted on here yesterday but it hasn’t been put on? I am stuck now because it’s been theee months and very complicated I just don’t know what to do now.

E

April 16, 2017 at 6:40 pm

Hi AMor!
Thank you so much for that link, I hadn’t seen that before!
However, it says on that plan to extend no contact to 45-60 days. This was my original plan but I didn’t see that article and I already messaged him yesterday after 5 weeks…. so therefore broke NC earlier than 45 days :/ should I continue to talk to him at all? Also where you said did I use that time to improve myself, yes. Definitely. Because it’s been theee months since the break up and a lot of that time has been since I finished the grieving phase and I have really focused on me, especially as I realised I’d neglected myself in the relationship. The reason I broke NC when I did was actually because I realised I’m in a place now where I know I’ll be okay whether I get him back or not but wanted to give it one last shot, slowly, to see if we can work. I don’t want things to start back again too suddenly tho as then it may just go back to on and off again. I hope I haven’t made a huge mistake by messaging him? I will add that altho this was my first NC of 35 days, before that I had gone periods of two weeks with no contact on a couple of occasions so it’s not like he should be viewing me as a clingy needy ex anymore. Not sure what to do
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 17, 2017 at 4:43 am

that’s good that you improved yourself.. just continue building rapport for now while also continuing to improve yourself and be activwe in posting in social media
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 16, 2017 at 3:33 pm

Hi,

I’ll just copy paste my answer to your first comment ok?

it was 30 days since he messaged you, but if it was not focused in improving yourself and in posting, that’s not a no contact period. If you did that, continue doing that and check this one:
How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

E

April 15, 2017 at 12:56 pm

Hi Amor,
My situation is a little complicated. Three months ago he broke up with me but then we got back together after a couple weeks cause he regretted it, but then we had a big argument because nothing had changed and I was sour about the break up and we broke up again. But every time I tried to do no contact he would message me after a week or two with personal texts like my clothes smell like him or I’m the only person he can really talk to. We ended up meeting up and started sleeping with each other again. This was on and off for a couple of weeks and I told him I didn’t want FWB but he said it was more than that. Then he told me after me pressuring him for some clarification that he didn’t want to be in a relationship again and so I stormed off told him to F off and not message me again as it seems playing with my feelings and blocked him. After ten days I was so surprised that he messaged me casually again asking how I was doing cause he messaged me on Skype which I never thought to block. I have now done just over 30 days NC since he last messaged me and am feeling different about the situation but still want to get him back. I messaged him today casually telling him I finally did a pull up in the gym! He replied well and we’ve had a short exchange but now I don’t know what to do because I don’t know if it’s gonna change anything. I wish he’d just messaged me again but I blocked him on some things which made it harder. I’ve now unblocked him on everything but not made that obvious. I think he may also be seeing someone. How do I proceed? DO you think I have any hope? Doesn’t the fact that we were back and forth on and off for a couple of months after the break up stop me from being able to apply the action plan? Please help me

E

April 17, 2017 at 7:49 am

How do you mean by building rupport? How can I do this, should I still be messaging him then? I also don’t know how to tell if he’s over me? Should I start another 30 day NC? He’s replying really really slowly to messages so our conversation is going on like one text a day each. The improvements I’m focussing on now are physical so my nutrition and fitness and hygiene to increase confidence and also being really sociable. He doesn’t have me on Facebook which is the only social media he has because I unfriended him. Do you think I should add him again? Also do you think that all hope is gone if he is seeing someone else and if I find out he is, should I stop trying to talk to him and stop implementing the plan?
Thanks again amor
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 22, 2017 at 2:04 pm

Restart no, do at least 45 days.. Continue being active in improving yourself and in posting even if he’s not your friend.. And then follow the texting advice here:

Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 16, 2017 at 1:18 pm

it was 30 days since he messaged you, but if it was not focused in improving yourself and in posting, that’s not a no contact period. If you did that, continue doing that and check this one:
How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

Tash

April 11, 2017 at 8:57 am

Hi amor,

What shall I do now? He’s updating his holiday snaps, shall I keep looking at them?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 12, 2017 at 11:29 am

if you’re in nc you shouldn’t

Tash

April 10, 2017 at 12:44 pm

Hi Amor,

It’s tash! After successfully completing no contact, my ex met up with me a few times and has been really nice to me. Told me he missed me but never tells me he loves me. I’ve also slept with him a few times and now he’s gone away on holiday with his family for a couple of weeks, before he went, he said thanks for everything and he hopes that I’m ok and that he would catch up with me when he gets back. He’s posting snaps, should I look at them or not? How can I make him miss me? And what are the chances of getting him back, officially? He will be back in 2 weeks.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 8:43 pm

I think you’re friends with benefits now.. so, don’t sleep with him again.. be busy yourself while he’s away.

Maddie

April 10, 2017 at 11:43 am

My boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago as he wasn’t ready for a commitment. Did NC for a while, eventually we started talking again, the other day we watched a film and had dinner. Yesterday we went out for lunch and went for a walk and he kissed me. This went on for a while until I stopped it. We had coffee after that but neither of us brought up the fact that he obviously still has feelings for me. How do I approach this? Can i get him back?

Maddie

April 11, 2017 at 9:05 am

We had a talk yesterday, and he admitted that while he still cares for me, he’s not ready for a commitment, but that we can still date if I’m comfortable with it. Not really sure what to do next, getting him to admit that he cares about me was difficult enough.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 12, 2017 at 11:35 am

decide, do you want to go out or move on
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 8:41 pm

just keep building rapport.. go back to texting.. if you build rapport and attraction, then yes you can get him back.

Anon

April 9, 2017 at 1:22 am

Hi Amor,

It’s been a while. Broken up now three months now. Did NC and was following Chris’ plan. We ended up hanging out a few times during texting phase (broke the rules). I never followed through the plan to phone calls. We have not had one phone conversation since before NC and that was just a bad desperate call on my end. So it’s been a month and half since NC stopped and since three weeks ago we ended up sleeping together a few times. What do I do? Cant invoke NC as we made big plans together with our friends next week. If I NC he might think I’m getting feelings or feel weird after the sex. He is purely in it for the sex and thinks I am too but of course I know I do it because I wanted to see him. I initiated the idea the first few times and he did the last time. We keep saying and agreeing we shouldn’t anymore to preserve what friendship we still have. He did try to cuddle me afterwards the first few times but not the last time. He said I am a great girl – said it a few times sincere break up. I know he has no romantic feelings for me. Whatever attraction is just physical and I know it’s because I’m being easy and because he hasn’t found someone new yet. Surprisingly when I’m not with him or after the sex I don’t feel overly emotional and attached but I know this is bad for the long run. Especially if he meets someone new cos he is always saying he is ready and open to the idea. I am definitely not the person that’s able to casually sleep with someone so it’s worse that it’s an ex. I know I messed up the plan. Is there hope for me? What to do? This is bad. I gave up and threw all my progress out the window. I thought maybe I could just resume texting plan and build more rapport after the times I did sleep with him but always end up sleeping with him again. I know I still love him and want to be with him. I hope it doesn’t show to him and our friends.

Thanks Amor.

Anon

April 20, 2017 at 2:08 pm

Hi Amor,

So the ex was talking to one of our closest guy friends. This friend found out we were talking again and that we had slept together. He warned the ex that I might be trying to get him back and so when my ex asked I denied it. My ex is on the look out now though. Should I start NC?
Ex is actually super happy with his life at the moment and I feel like this friend thinks he is better without me which hurts. How do I make him want me emotionally not just physically?

🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 26, 2017 at 3:48 pm

just keep building rapport while not sleeping with him
Anon

April 10, 2017 at 10:47 pm

Yes, so I’m not going to do it again. So should I start of with the texting plan again?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 11, 2017 at 9:59 pm

yeah, try that first..if he keeps insisting being sexual, start nc..
Anon

April 9, 2017 at 1:34 am

You may not remember me but to recap – he broke up with me after losing feelings and wanted to find himself blah blah. Did not see a future together with me anymore. He talks about it now like I was holding him back or that he is open to more opportunities now. He thinks break up doing us both good. He saw some of my new changes but I know didn’t do enough during NC. Still continuing on to be best version of myself. For myself. I know he is enjoying his life not with me. Said sometimes misses having someone but know he doesn’t want it to be me. Urghh what to do. He has asked me before how I feel about him, did I miss him, hypothetically would I get back with him (but he was very firm when he asked me that that he did not in fact want to).

I try coming off as confident and nonchalant. I know I’m stuck in friendzone. Urghh sleeping with him was so stupid of me. I knew it and did it anyway. Please help.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 6:32 pm

well, if you know that you’re always going to sleep with him again. Then no nc can help that.. you have to decide to stop doing that first and to stick with it.

Bell

April 7, 2017 at 10:28 pm

Long story short:

> Dated 5 yeas
> Broke up
> 30 days NC
> Improved myself/Social Media active
> First contact
> More contact
> Met up
> More contact
> Met up more often (He would hug me and kiss me, even telling he still liked me)
> Called to ask him what we are to each other
> Told me he doesn’t want relationship ‘YET’ (That’s his keyword, he uses it all the time)

> Thinking about doing a 60 day NC, is that a good idea?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 3:27 pm

just do 45 days

Karen

April 6, 2017 at 4:53 pm

Hi amor

My boyfriend dumped me a few months back due to me being overly clingy and emotional

I did nc and contacted him, he responded with one word answer and I sent him angry texts out of spite

He immediately did a full out block
Currently on NC before I contact him with another number that he doesn’t know

However I heard through a mutual friend that his grandmother has just passed away..

Should i send him condolences text message? I feel like it’s the right thing to do, but will he get shocked that I go as far as using another number to text him since he has blocked me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 9, 2017 at 2:52 pm

not really since it’sba condolence text..

Nicole

April 5, 2017 at 1:40 pm

Hi, Me again.
I’m curious, how common is it, based on users of this site, is it for an ex to not contact during no contact? and how common is it for them to change their numbers? thank you

Nicole

April 9, 2017 at 2:39 am

And what happens with those girls? Do the guys eventually get in touch or what? Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 6:56 pm

when they see that the girl is unfazed and just kept improving, most of the guys realize there’s no use for him to keep being angry, or that the ex is moving on and not going to chase anymore so there’s no use of blocking her, or they get interested because of the improvement or they forgive and become more open to friendship because they can see the ex is moving on.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 7, 2017 at 12:59 pm

there’s no concrete number.. but I see it happen a lot

Anya

April 3, 2017 at 7:38 am

Hi 🙂 I just had a quick question. I live with my ex in his small apartment, we broke up after a massive argument and he said i could stay until I find somewhere new to live. He’s very angry with me. I stayed around a bit but then started staying at someone else’s on their sofa while I look for somewhere new. It has been about 8 days since he officially said it was over and I’m on day 5 of no contact. I can easily pick up my things while he’s at work. Do I continue living there for a while and do the advice from the living with your ex page, or shall I stay away until I move out into a short term lease and go full no contact other than if I need to pick anything up?
Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2017 at 2:27 pm

HI anya,

do the advice on living with your ex page while you still live him..

Yumi

April 3, 2017 at 12:03 am

Hi, what do you think of this advice. I’ve had a failed NC so I’m in another one of 45+ days. My ex-ex boyfriend told me I should say something like this “sorry for X it got misconstrued (try to clear it up) i am really sorry, but it would mean so much to me if when youre ready you could message me back and we could try start fresh i miss you”

Is that good or bad advice? It doesn’t exactly follow Chris’s guidelines…

Yumi

April 9, 2017 at 2:50 am

That is such a good answer, thank you for sticking with me!
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 6:57 pm

You’re welcome!
Yumi

April 6, 2017 at 12:04 pm

Oh I’m sorry, I really made that confusing. Basically I’m wondering if this “sorry for X it got misconstrued (try to clear it up) i am really sorry, but it would mean so much to me if when youre ready you could message me back and we could try start fresh i miss you” is a good advice for an exboyfriend who is still angry and hasn’t contacted me.

I’m mentioning two different ex boyfriends… one who I don’t have feelings for. Sorry.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 8, 2017 at 4:43 pm

nope.. dont send that especially if he’s angry.. and saying that you hope if you could start a fresh and that you miss him is like chasing..
Yumi

April 5, 2017 at 9:20 am

Sorry Amor, that was confusing. The advice was given by the ex I had before this newest ex boyfriend. It’s the new one that I’d like to reconnect with, but I asked the old one cos he cut me out the same way the new one did.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 5, 2017 at 6:53 pm

ah.. well, that would probably make you friendzoned. Better if you proceed to no contact.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2017 at 11:20 am

Hi Yumi,

start a fresh with friendship? did you reply to that?

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81 thoughts on “I Made Out With My Ex Boyfriend, Now What?”