I Want My Ex Back But He Wont Even Talk To Me

403 thoughts on “I Want My Ex Back But He Won’t Talk To Me”

Brittany

April 28, 2020 at 1:26 am

My ex dumped me out of the blue because he needed to work on his finances. His credit score is as low as it can be and he has no savings even after making 100K a year, pandemic is obviously going on and his best friend is homeless living at his home. He blocked my number right after he sent the text in which is dumped me. I spoke to him about getting together for dinner and talking but haven’t heard from him since and that was over two weeks ago. We did not have a fight to bring this on. It was completely out of the blue for me. I made the mistake of sending him multiple messages on Instagram (only place I can message without being blocked). Now he won’t look at them. What are my next steps and am I SOL? He’s my person and I really want to make this work.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 1, 2020 at 9:47 pm

Ho Brittany so after you gnatting him on social media and him blocking you, I would suggest that you follow a 45 day No Contact Rule. If he is feeling overwhelmed by having financial issues that having a relationship is going to add to that pressure. I would suggest that you work on your Holy Trinity as described in the articles on how to have an active No Contact

Dina

April 25, 2020 at 7:40 pm

We broke up about 3 months ago but we lived together. It was a 7 year relationship. We kept hooking up until I moved out about 2 weeks ago. He said he wanted to stay friends but then suddenly changed his mind. He started ignoring my messages. I sent him a final goodbye message saying I wasn’t going to reach out anymore. He just left me on read. We’ve been NC for 1 week now. I’m not blocked on anything and neither is he. I miss him a lot. But I feel like he wants nothing to do with me and like he’s already moved on.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 2, 2020 at 12:23 pm

Hi Dina, it is essential that you complete a 30 day NC before reaching out but make sure that you work on your holy trinity during this time to that you chance your exes perception of you. Read Chris’ articles to help you work on yourself to become Ungettable when you reach out you will appear confident and happy to your ex

Tracey

April 23, 2020 at 1:28 pm

Hi,
We broke up about two weeks ago. We were so happy together. But after he told his parents I’d been married and I have children, they told him that I’d never truly love him. Because I “already had my love” and had babies with that person. I put up with these words and actions for months. I finally snapped and let him know how awful I think his parents are for ruining us (and him for allowing it). We were very much in love, but he’s choosing to let his parents make his choices. I’m TRYING NC, but my god it’s hard. Is there any hope?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 25, 2020 at 11:26 am

Hi Tracey, it is hard it really depends on if he is going to be willing to stand up to his parents or not. Sadly if they have a hard influence of his life he is unlikely to change his mind. However if you work on yourself and follow the holy trinity using your mutual friends and social media to show how great you are doing it may push him to stand up for your relationship, this all depends on how he prioritises his parents views over his own love life

Tameka

April 21, 2020 at 11:36 pm

Hello my name is Tameka,my boyfriend broke up with me because he said the relationship didn’t change and we argued slot. Then he said he wasn’t in love with me anymore. He needed space. I gave him 3 days then called him . I asked him was it over he said yes. He then said all he asked for was space and y’all can’t give me that. I said who is y’all? He said everyone. I reached out to him a week later but l kept the conversation short. Then l reached out again a week later he said Thanks for the update on your family. I then asked to see him and he said no. About a week later his friend requested me on Facebook. He tried to talk to me . I put him in check. He then called my ex . My ex then texted me and checked me . I never responded to the text. I missed him so l started stalking him for a couple of days. He saw me each time. I felt stupid. He then told his mom he broke it off with me and told her why. His mom said if a man don’t want you just move on . She said once her son is done he’s done. What do l do ? I miss him and still love him.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 25, 2020 at 11:59 am

Hey Tameka, I suggest that you give your ex space and follow a 45 day NC and do not reach out to his mother again as this is not going to help you.

Jacquelyn

April 21, 2020 at 9:24 pm

We had been arguing a tiny bit in the weeks leading up to are last argument he said “your always on my back, it’s always what I don’t do, your always complaining, . So Saturday comes along he was being really nice and told me it was his best friends birthday and that he only invited the guys and his girl. I got upset that I wasn’t invited and I started to go off a little. This really upset him and I sort of broke up with him, he agreed to meet me after the party to end on good terms and get my things, well I text him later that night and no reply. I apologized for my behavior. No reply I ended up going to his house that Monday and he agreed to reach out and talk. Wednesday came and we planned to meet Thursday, I reached out near the end go the day when he said would be a good time and no reply. It’s been 5 days and I am not planning to reach out again.
Rebecca Maziter

April 21, 2020 at 3:39 pm

He told me let’s just get back together after this quarantine stuff is over cuz his health isnt great and that was it. Stopped texting, didnt answer me back. Prior to this we had a disagreement and didnt speak for a day I reached out and he was distant. He wasnt answering at all but was active online so I was texting and calling and he wouldnt answer. I texted and called a couple of times after that last msg out of shock because it came out of nowhere it seemed. Also told him I’d rather him just end it if that’s what he wanted but no response to that. I stopped reaching out after 30 minutes and the days to follow. It has been 12 days and he hasnt reached out and I am doing NC but he hasnt said anything either so how do I even know he’ll be back? Am I waiting for no reason? After nc is over do I reach out to him even though hes the one that pretty much ghosted? I told him I wasnt reaching out to him anymore until this stuff is over but who knows when that will be. This was also before I discovered your page. Do i just sit and wait for him to reach out or just fully try and move on? I do want him back. I just really dont like that he felt so ok with making a decision like that and then disappearing. So my ego is hurt but I know I want to be with him.
Stacey

April 11, 2020 at 9:31 pm

Me and my boyfriend split up 2 and a half weeks ago. We have been together for 9years, currently saving for a house. We work together. And I will soon be working closer with him (on nights together). We had a slight argument and didn’t speak for a week (longest time ever). I got back in touch with him and he says he doesn’t want to be with me as we don’t work. He will not speak to me about it at all and I don’t understand how feelings can disappear after 9 years together. There has been no issues like this before. Each time I get in touch with him I get either ignored or a message back saying leave me alone we are over. I feel like if I don’t message him he will forget me and that this is the only way for him to speak to me. I just want us to sort things out properly and not leave it at the mess it has become.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 20, 2020 at 10:41 pm

Hi Stacey, give him some time to calm down with limited NC and see if he reaches out to you. I would follow a 30 day NC and then start the texting phase

Ivelisse

April 9, 2020 at 3:33 pm

My ex and I broke up about a month ago because I was pressuring him to work towards “relationship progression” things like moving in together, or like a talk about things like marriage and family. I didn’t want those things right now, but I was pushing him too hard to talk about them because we were coming up on our one year. I really love him, and he really loved me too, but I’m the end I made the mistake of making him feel like he wasn’t doing enough for me, and we ultimately came to the decision to break up. Well I immediately regretted it, and I tried to mend it the day after, but he was set in not wanting to be in a relationship “right now”. I tried hard to do the “no contact” because it’d been easy with other ex’s I didn’t care nearly this much for, but I definitely pestered and gnatted him. I did recently really need his help when I had a flat tire, and he came through to help me, but we recently made lists of boundaries to try and maintain a friendship, because he states I am his best friend, but he only wants to meet in public places as to not make things feel intimate. I messed up bad, and I’m still so in love with him. I also had a self realization about how I was taking him for granted, and how other factors in my personal life played it’s part in our breakup. I want him back, but I can’t even get him to talk to me normally anymore. He seems very distant. I told myself to put in the same amount of energy he is, but I’m also scared of losing him for good.
danny

April 8, 2020 at 11:33 pm

Hi Guys,
I really need help! About 3 weeks into No Contact ( after my ex blocked me on almost everything, due to a nasty fight) she wrote me a hand written note explaining herself, and how she can never see me again because she feels so guilty about the way she treated me and how it effected me; and how this was her goodbye. She told me i was the love of her life and said all these positive things about me and us but she also said she is going to try and move on and that she doesn’t want me to contact her anymore. Her note was so polar opposite, I don’t have any idea what to do next.
I am not sure if this was her way of reaching out, or if this was really the end!

I could use any help I can get, about your opinions and what to do next!

Thanks,
Danny

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 17, 2020 at 3:35 pm

Hi Danny, good job on sticking to NC so far, but make sure you go through to the 45days, as far as her letter goes I think she means what she says (at this time) and wants to move on, it does not mean that you can’t get her back. But I think you do need some time away from each other if things were getting to the point where she felt the need to do this. I would work on yourself, start dating casually when you can. And use your social media to show you are doing well in life, even though you are blocked shell get curious and find a way to look you up, so keep it positive at all times. Read Chris articles about the holy trinity and being ungettable and apply this to your life

Riya

March 30, 2020 at 1:08 pm

He was the one who was hell serious in the relationship. Initially, he was so into me that he could not stay away without talking or meeting. He used to tell me things that how we shouldn’t give up as he is looking a long-term relationship with me. He proposed me for marriage too and called me to meet his family. Thee all of sudden he left his job due to some reason. A week after that he asked me for some time to get his head straight as he was concerned about his career as well as studies. Few days after that he started behaving weird. He started fighting arguing with me then he used to block me and then apologize the same day by saying that he can’t end things with me he wants a life, but right now he just want some time with his stupid self as he is confused and not able to figure out things. All of sudden, 13 days back, he and his friend called me and said that they both are together and he can’t be with me now because he thinks that it will not workout as he don’t feel that love anymore and blocked me everywhere. That thing triggered me so hard that I rushed to his home and asked him to talk calmly but he started yelling for no reason and said that you don’t owe anything here anymore so it is better to leave. He left home and I had a word with his grandmother and mother and they said that they will talk to him about it. It’s been thirteen days, I heard nothing from him. His friend called me and asked me to leave him alone for a while because his female friend with whom he said that he is in relation now manipulates him often till the time she is not getting attention from anywhere. It is actually traumatizing for me that how a promising man turned out to a stupid ass without any reason. Day before yesterday, his friend texted me and said that my boyfriend wanted him to inform me that he moved on in his life and it would be better if I do the same. He can’t say these things to my face because he don’t have that guts. Two days back I dropped him a text via hangouts wishing him luck for future. I really want our things to work out and get back with him. I know he is acting stupid just because he is manipulated by his female friend. I don’t understand how to deal with the situation and get back together.
Barbara Muñoz

March 30, 2020 at 3:37 am

My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We were together for a year. Even planned to have a child, then I learn i was pregnant. He was not fully excited at all. We had a fight because i felt that he was beginning to be cold to me. Then he admitted that he is still inlove with her ex gf for 6 years, and I’m too good for him. He said that he’s only for the child and cannot stay with me anymore. At first i was sending him messages recalling our happy times together. His family said that he maybe pressured. He still replies whenever I sent him messages. Talking about pregnancy check ups schedule. So i decided to stop messaging anymore, I’m on the 3rd day now. I’m trying to hold on given my situation, pregnancy, where there are days when my hormones soars high and I wanted to talk to him, hoping my silence will change his mind. Will it work? We are still friends on fb and our sweet nicknames on messenger is still the same, though I ask him not to change it before.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 31, 2020 at 2:19 am

Hi Barbara, so giving that you stick to the plan yes it has a chance of making him change his mind but it is important that you are putting yourself first especially with the way of the world right now. Following the ERP program is going to help you if you stick to the information

Angie

March 28, 2020 at 9:51 pm

Me and my ex broke up 4 weeks ago, I’m a week into no contact…it’s driving me crazy. We split up after 6 years together, we lived with his mum who goes to drastic measures to keep him at home, I suggested we moved out and got our own place which he didn’t want to do because she pays for everything for him. We ended badly, he has blocked me from his phone, he is a very stubborn person anyway. I don’t know what to do. He said he loves me but it’s my fault we split up, I didn’t handle the breakup well, will he get in touch after doing the no contact?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 29, 2020 at 10:55 pm

Hi Angie, there is a high chance that he will unblock you in the end but it sounds as if he is happy living like a teenager in his parents home and letting them take care of him. Ask yourself if this is someone you want ot be with as it does not seem like he has any plans to move out soon

Chloe

March 28, 2020 at 11:17 am

My ex and I were together for 7 years. He broke up with me 1,5 weeks ago and we haven’t talked since. The reasons for the break up were several:
He is mentally in a very bad place, feels like he doesn’t know who he really is (he said that he always adapts to the people he’s with, meaning he has “too many different personality traits and needs to know who HE is”. Apparently being in a relationship makes that impossible, because he knows what I want, what I like etc.
We started dating when we were 18/19 and he thinks that this was too early. He says things like “ I wish we could’ve met a couple of years from now…” or “I really hope we’ll get a second chance in a few years from now, once I know who I am etc.”
He’s had many nervous breakdowns during the last few months, is unhappy with his life and under a lot of pressure (he has to work and go to college simultaneously, doesn’t receive enough financial support from his parents and has to pay for everything on his own.. it’s been really tough!). It’s so frustrating for him to see how everyone else can relax a lot and doesn’t have to worry about anything serious and how all of his friends go through life with ease. Whereas he’s incredibly stressed all of the time. (Understandably).
Because we’ve dated for so long and from a “young age” he thinks it’s impossible that we’ll never want to be with another person again (sexually). His ex girlfriend (high school) broke up with him, because she wanted to date other guys. He’s my first boyfriend too and he’s convinced I’m gonna want that in a few years too.
Unfortunately we also fought a lot throughout our relationship…
when he had his breakdown a couple of weeks ago, all of our fights, his ex’s words, his parents divorce (another prove that “forever” is impossible) came up again and he can’t get any of it out of his head….
I tried everything.
But nothing worked, because he “needs to be on his own”.
We’re in a long distance relationship and usually see each other every other weekend, which adds even more stress to him. When I suggested that I could be the one to come visit him from now on, he refuses to accept it because he doesn’t want be to change for him or to “suffer”.
We’ll be long distance until I graduate (1 more year).
When he broke up, he told me that I’m the perfect girlfriend, that I deserve so much better…. that he needs to break up to figure out who he is. That he simply can’t be in a relationship at the moment…
but I can’t accept this. I decided I’ll contact him 2 weeks from now, to get answers to the 372728 questions I have.
I also want to propose to just go on a break, instead of breaking up.
I’m so scared that during the “no contact” time, he’ll realize that he feels relieved to be without me… that it was the right decision. How will I be able to ever get him back if that’s the case? Part of the reason why I ultimately let him break up with me (after fighting it for 3 weeks), was that I was convinced he’d realize what big of a mistake he’s made, that he’ll regret it… that he’ll miss me too much and want me back. But it’s been 10 days and I still haven’t heard from him.
We still follow each other on Instagram, he liked one of the two pictures I’ve posted since the break up.
Another huge problem is that he thinks that we’ve had closure and a beautiful goodbye (we kissed, held hands and even slept together). I’m scared that
A) if I ask him to meet me, he’ll say no because we’ve already talked about everything and said our final goodbyes
And that
B) he’ll remind me of the fact that in the end, right before we said goodbye, I even agreed that it might be better for us to break up FOR A WHILE in order for us to work on ourselves… And I made him promise that he won’t give up hope that we’ll get back together.
And finally
C) he’s already moving on, feeling better without me…

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 30, 2020 at 11:14 pm

Hey Chloe so I wouldn’t reach out to have any of these emotional conversations. I would spend the rest of my NC working on getting over the break up and focusing on being happy again focus on the Holy Trinity and being as social as you can with your life during these times. And reaching out to your ex with a text that Chris suggests, that is going to get a short, positive conversation with your ex that you end the conversation first, not him. And build yourself up the value ladder.

Haleigh

March 14, 2020 at 8:23 pm

Hi, I don’t exactly know if our breakup was mutual or she broke up with me. After 4 days i wrote a letter to her without begging or pleding, i just wanted to meet up with her and talk. I gave this letter to her flatmate. She replied to me that it was very bad move and if in the future sth like this will happend again it’s stalking. We didnt talk for a couple of days and then she wrote to me what should she do with my stuff. We met, she cried, we talked normally, she hugged me so hard and still cried a lot but she didnt want to repair our relationship. I started no contact. After 25 days I message her with a good remider text but i didnt get a reply. Please tell me what should i do next?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 18, 2020 at 3:06 am

Hi Haleigh so a reminder text is not ideal after a NC as you are going straight for an emotional trigger, you would be best askign for advice or opinion on something you know that they would be interested in talking about

tommy

March 14, 2020 at 2:48 am

so before i got together with my ex, she was in a 5 year abusive relationship until he got arrested for 6 years. within the first year we were talking daily and became best friends. we then decided to become friends with benefits until we both fell in love. she was still living at her ex mother in laws house as they were really controlling. i helped her get away from the family we had some threats and trouble from them in the begging but eventually they left us alone. she was really affectionate and couldn’t be a minute without me. until she went to her parents house and started to be distant from me. at this point i started thinking i was just a rebound relationship or she was just using me to be able to get away from her ex. but she made me think different as we were trying to have a baby together and also was going to get engaged soon. although she was the starting to change and she became a totally different person later on. she slowly and gradually started more a more frequently closing her self off from me it got so bad that she didn’t even let me touch or kiss or hug her unless she felt like it which was once a week and later on went even up to 3 weeks in between these weeks she would go and give me attention and affection for lets say half a day but then would go another 2 or 3 weeks with no interest in me it was like she was playing with me she was really negative towards me and with her attitude it was making me go crazy and i would be some times a bit to clingy from the way she was playing with my head she was still distancing her self from me to a point where she wouldn’t even say a nice thing to me instead she was always just putting me down or she would talk about her ex making him look like he was perfect when i know for a fact that he was treating her bad he was cheating on her daily and then brag about it in front of her she was not aloud friends or even to visit family so i think with me she had all this freedom and i guess she wasn’t use to it but if i would try to be a alpha male she wouldn’t even consider what i said we dragged this out for about 8 months and it was looking like it would get better and it did we went to visit her parents house and then we both went home as we was about to go look at houses the next day but out of no where her ex wrote to her from prison she immediately shut down and was very aggressive when i said stop talking to him. so i left her along n i went to sleep. in the morning she got up angry and started to pack her stuff that we are done her ex did block and delete her number and he has not contacted her no more. as he still does have 4 more years in prison and also has a new girlfriend. don’t really know what they spoke about but he does have a way to get in side her head which i guess made her say she just wanted space. so just before she got on the train she said to me sorry and kissed me i thought everything was OK but once she got home she just started acting like i don’t mean anything to her i told her that ill give her space let her think about what she wants 4 days later she texts me saying she doesn’t wanna carry on and since then even more negative and cold towards me. she says she doesnt wanna hurt me no more that she can see that im crazy about her but she doesn’t feel the same way. but then she will go and text me the next day at night and just try and make me hurt by either saying lies or just try and show that loads of guys are texting with her because she knows i’m madly in love with her i do know that her ex is not in the picture so i don’t think that’s the reason i’m just so confused she wont even tell me why she got so cold. she just gave up on everything like it was nothing and i don’t know how to get her back in 5 days i’m supposed to move all her things to her parents house and shes going to be in the car with me its a 2 hour drive to her parents house is their something i should try to make her realise whats she throwing away.or is their away i can get her to be once again attracted and in love with me
Anon

March 12, 2020 at 1:04 pm

Hello. I have been with my partner for 3 and a half years. I love him very much but we had a rough relationship for awhile. I didn’t realize how bad it was till it was all over. He was miserable enough to cheat on me, and that was my wake up call of the things I had done. I tried to talk to him, get him to come back to give the relationship a chance but ultimately it ended with “I need space” and “my negativity is gone without you”. Obviously this hurts because I never wanted to drag him down and so want to work it out still as I have already started steps to improve myself but I am struggling with not speaking to him. We have dogs together that I won’t be able to see if I don’t contact him, my things are still in the house. I am worried everyone will tell him I was terrible and he will tell me to get my things. I want to try to talk to him but from what I read I shouldn’t… Struggling. Please help.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 12, 2020 at 1:50 pm

Hey there I would suggest that you take some time for yourself and avoid dating anyone for a while to move past this difficult stage you a feeling. When you work on yourself, health wealth and relationships (non romantic) you are going to start to become happier in life and then you can reach out to your ex with this new positive mental state and your ex will see that change.

Jeanette

March 10, 2020 at 10:28 pm

I broke up with my boyfriend 9 months ago because his family told me he was cheating on mei didnt say anything to him i just left and did a no contact in november he meet this other woman and moved in with her . Now he is doing no conta t with on everything. Like he broke up with me. He wont talk to me at all. Is he done with me or is there a chance tgat we can get back together

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 10, 2020 at 11:08 pm

Hi Jeanette, so if you want your ex back then you need to read about the being there method, make sure you fully understand what you are doing before you reach out for the first time and that you have completed 45 days of No Contact

Riya

March 9, 2020 at 6:04 pm

Hi my ex broke up with me.. He said that he has a girl which is more than friend to him.. I blocked him after that.. Then after 1 wekk I myself u blocked him and asked him the reason that why didn’t he contact me.. He said that he wanted to be as a friend to me.. Then for sometime we didn’t block each other on WhatsApp.. He saw my status and commented on my WhatsApp stories as you are hot and where are you.. But i didn’t reply him in a good way.. Then approximately after one month I got frustrated and told him that I am deleting his number and then blocked him.. But when I again saved his number I came to know that he has deleted my number too.. His best friend once said that he feels for me now also but he has so many girls in his life.. Actually once we broke in 2017 and then after one year we came in contact in 2019.. But it was my mistake also that I came in relationship with his best friend.. Then also he said not to talk to the later and I didn’t listen to him.. And now I am missing him badly.. What to do

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 12, 2020 at 11:26 pm

Hey Riya, if you want your ex back and he is with someone else look into the being there method but first you must complete a 45 day no contact rule

Sue

March 8, 2020 at 4:34 pm

Hi, I broke up with my boyfriend of less than 6months because I found out that he cheated. We fought the whole of Feb, not speaking to each other and sharing a bed. He moved in with me after 2 months dating. He only verbally promised to fix and could not accept that he is not putting the effort as business was usual with him. I felt ignored. So one Sunday I asked him to call the girl and he refused and I felt like I am 2nd choice. I packed his bags and told him to move out – in that we had saved money and I refunded him his money back. I regret treating him that way, now he is not taking my calls and accepting my apology. I really want me and him to fix our relationship. So now issue of cheating is overcrowded by my burst. Please help/advise.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 12, 2020 at 11:38 pm

Hi Sue so you need to go into a No Contact and work on yourself, where you are showing that you are not going to argue or confront him about the cheating, instead you are taking some time to get over what he has done. And allow him time to reflect too. He has managed to make you a bad guy in this situation because of your reaction. You need to also date casually so that he knows you are not waiting around for him to come back to you

Christie

March 4, 2020 at 12:23 am

I broke up with my ex out of frustration 10 days ago. He hasn’t spoken to me at all. I tried reaching out a couple times and was ignored. I went NC two days ago. He’s been out and about but still watching what I’m up to through IG and FB stories. He stopped for a few days so I thought for sure he muted me. Then out of nowhere on Sunday he has been alllll over my social media. I don’t know how NC works when I’m dumped him. I apologized and left it at that. Why should I do to get him to come back?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 7, 2020 at 8:52 pm

Hi Christie, so you ended the relationship from frustration – keep in mind this could come back if you both do not make some changes to make the relationship work the second time around. You still need to complete a 30 day No Contact even though you ended things as you are wanting to get him back, so you follow the ERP process just the same. You just have an ex with a bruised ego thats all

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403 thoughts on “I Want My Ex Back But He Won’t Talk To Me”