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279 thoughts on “I Want My Ex Boyfriend Back But He Doesn’t Want Me”

  1. JW

    September 28, 2019 at 11:15 am

    Hey..

    About a month ago, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me.. And it isn’t the first nor second time, this is the third time already. All three times was initiated by him.. and all different reasons.. The recent one was that we got into a arguement and asked for a break which we did for about a month and then he contacted me saying that he don’t think we can be together… he told me he got landed into a heavy debt and want to focus on clearing it.. I also clearly told him that I want to be there for him no matter what.. Our status were on and off but it was clear till that day when he disconnected us from this couple app and when I texted him asking if everything is okay, he told me that we are not together anymore… We rarely talk till earlier today I wanted to clarify on something which was that he changed his profile picture and status and it seems it was directed to me. He said it was nothing and there wasn’t any meaning behind it. And he kept on saying that both of us will not have a chance of getting back together because he doesn’t wants me to suffer with him.. He also kept on telling me to move on with life and find someone better. He later continued that he wants the best for me and I don’t deserve such a loser like him… What should I do now..? I just want to be there for him at times like this…

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 29, 2019 at 9:21 pm

      Hi JW you need to make the decision if you want to be his girlfriend or not. If not then you can be his friend and support him through this time. If you want him back you need to follow the program and that includes doing a full No Contact

  2. Meg

    September 26, 2019 at 9:06 pm

    HI Chris,

    I dated a man for 4 months. We connected on a dating app and everything was wonderful for the first 2 months. At month 3 he asked me to be his gf. He said he hadn’t had a gf since a 1 year relationship that ended 1.5 years ago (he was also previously married and divorced 5 years ago). He dated a lot after the 1 year relationship ended and had a series of 3 month relationships. This was a red flag to me but I really liked him and felt it was a big step when he asked me to be his gf as he hadn’t considered taking that step with the other girls he dated for 3 months. Well about a week after asking me to be his gf we had a minor fight which we talked out but he grew distant after. His dad is very sick so I assumed his distance was more due to that. I offered support if he needed it but didn’t want to push it and make it about our relationship as I know having a sick parent who is close to death is very hard. Last week he called me and said he has been thinking of ending things for a few weeks… he likes me, he is attracted to me, I am probably the best match for him of anyone he’s met but that he isn’t falling in love with me, and with his ex wife and the 1 year relationship he just felt that feeling. I am crushed bc I really was falling for him. I also don’t think 3-4 months is a long enough shot. Am I setting myself up for more heartbreak by hoping he comes back? He won’t even respond to texts ( I have only text once). Please help, normally I would let a 4 month relationship go, but I really feel this is worth fighting for.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 26, 2019 at 9:56 pm

      Hi Meg, so I would allow him some space to deal with the family side of things and during that time work on yourself and the Holy Trinity, you cant force him or convince him to change his mind. This is why we do NC to let him wonder where you are and why you’re not chasing anymore. The serial dater thing I would also keep in the back of your mind too just because he could be avoiding commitment. While you’re focusing on your Holy Trinity, work on some texts that would create enough hook and interest to him to get him talking to you again in 30 days time.

  3. Alanna

    September 23, 2019 at 6:49 pm

    Hey. So I dated this incredible guy for 4 months and things were great. The problem was timing. He was so in to me in the beginning and I was still working on getting over someone else, and then when I started really falling for him, he backed off. I found out that he had been talking to another girl and basically told him he either needed to choose her or me. Big mistake. He said he doesn’t do ultimatums and even though after that conversation we spent 3 amazing days together where everything went great, he ended things with me. He said he just doesn’t see himself with me. When I asked what the other girl had that I didn’t, he said she was nicer and more complimentary of him. He has a lot of insecurities from his ex-wife and I should’ve been more sensitive to those. Anyways, I went batshit crazy on him and then only made it to 5 days of no contact before I texted him. No response. Is there any way of fixing this?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 23, 2019 at 6:54 pm

      Hi Alanna, I would go back into NC and do a 45 day one and work on emotional control so that you don’t have an outburst again. Work on being Ungettable and let him see how he made the wrong choice. If he has insecurities you need to make sure you don’t trigger any of them as that’s when he will back off.

  4. Marie

    September 4, 2019 at 12:33 pm

    I thought there was a chance of getting my ex back. My ex broke up with me two weeks ago, it seemed like it was an impulse decision on his part, and he suffers from depression. We had been together for 11 months. He was going through one of his low points and he was distancing himself from everyone and only wanted to do things alone. 

    A member of his circle of influence convinced him that if he didn’t want to do things with me that he didn’t want to be with me in the long run. The next day he broke up with me impulsively and said he plans on moving (2 hours away)next year when his lease is up and didn’t see me being the girl for him since he was going to move.Our relationship had been great, all smiles and laughs and only two fights, so I don’t understand.

    I immediately started no contact after he returned my things, it’s been 10 days. When we said goodbye he said “If you ever need anything or need to talk, i’ll be around for the next few months.” I thought since this was an impulse decision, is there a chance he would regret it and these tactics would help me win him back.

    But he just met someone new and added her on facebook (something that took him 8 months to do with me) and he untagged himself from all the photos I had posted of us over the year. The only photos of me still up on his facebook are vacation photos he took of us or his friends took. He still has photos of his other exes on his facebook.

  5. Lorna

    July 29, 2019 at 7:04 am

    Hi, me and my boyfriend were dating for 5 and a half years (we have a 4 year old son) however he ended things 3 weeks ago and moved back to his parents house. His reasons for breaking up were that I have become too emotionally dependent on him and I am not the person he fell in love with. (I suffer from anxiety and depression which I am currently getting help for) We have stopped contacting each other unless its to do with our son. A week ago we had a conversation and he stated that he did not want to get back with me as he felt happier without me around and felt like his old self again. He has started following tons on girls and exes on Instagram and has removed me from his Instagram. I’m determined to prove to him that we can be a happy family again especially with me getting help regarding my anxiety and depression and confidence. We also work in the same building but rarely see each other. Is there anything I can do to help improve my chances other than the no contact rule?

  6. Girlwholost

    June 26, 2019 at 1:56 pm

    Hi, my bf were together for 4 years. But during the last year, we fought a lot. Then he said he didnt see any future for us to be together.. I begged and cried a lot but he was persistent. He suggested to stay in touch as friends. We broke up around 6 months ago. We talked everyday like normal and everytime i brought up the topic about us he still have the same answers. He wants to be alone and cant see us together. Ive got really frustrated and asked about his feeling for me, he said he doesnt have romantic feeling for me. What should i do? I still feel strongly to him.

  7. Becky

    May 29, 2019 at 8:09 am

    Hi,

    I recently ended things with a guy i dated for 4 months. He ended things with me as he is not ready for a committed r/s and because i went all batshit crazy on him. We agreed to remain friends. We met up for lunch 3 weeks ago, as friends. Then he asked me for coffee a week later but i wasnt free. I asked him for coffee the last week but he wasnt free. Then i texted him last Friday ‘hi i miss u’ and didnt get a response back. Is he ignoring me and backing off? What should i do because i really wanna get back together with him again.

  8. Neve

    April 28, 2019 at 4:30 pm

    Will the ridiculous offer thing work if you’ve already done the salesman pitch?

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 28, 2019 at 5:55 pm

      Hi Neve…perhaps you can elaborate on what you mean! If you are looking for a fool proof system, then I certainly can’t promise you that. But if you are looking for a sensible, comprehensive strategy that can improve your chances, then yes, I think my Program can succeed in that respect.

  9. Adi Witter

    April 7, 2019 at 12:12 pm

    Hi,
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 16 months. We’ve been multiple deployments together and came out strong. I am 21 and he’s 20, about to turn 21. About 2 months ago his 9 year old brother moved in with us and my boyfriend was transferred somewhere else while I was taking care of his brother. He comes from a very bad upbringing. 2 weeks ago I broke up with him because all he ever does is play video games, doesn’t take me out, has never bought me anything… Not even for my birthday and Christmas or our anniversary. As soon as I broke up with him, the next few days I wanted to work it out but he didn’t. He said I needed to leave for 2 weeks so he could work on himself and get some space. We do live together. So I left. I’ve been gone a week now and it’s been hell. We barley talk. He ignores me or says don’t talk to me. Which confuses me because when i left, he said he wanted to be together but needed space and now he’s saying we’re not together. I don’t know what to do. I’m suppose to go back in a week so we can talk about things. But the other night we talked and he kept saying mean stuff about me, about how I took to long to care and love him and I’ll never change about bringing up the past. But I told him that I can change if he just gives me the opportunity. He flat out said he doesn’t miss me or think about me. He’s never had any motivation to do anything, not even take his brother out anywhere. Well I found out since I’ve been gone he hasn’t been playing video games and has been taking his brother out all the time, which kills me because he never did anything like that for me. What should I do? I want to get him back but he wants nothing to do with me and seems to have his mind set that we just can’t get past this when I know we can if we both try because we have gotten through deployments together. I’m giving him this last week to think, but I don’t know if I should just because he seems to have his mind made up so why should I keep having hope just for him to break my heart and say he thinks it’s best we aren’t together.

    Thanks for your help.

  10. melissa

    March 13, 2019 at 2:03 am

    Hey Chris,
    Me and my ex are 21 years old and my bf dated for almost 3 years and for the past 4 months we fought a lot. I’m Indian and he’s white so we had problems with religion and drinking, etc. we began to fight more often for little things. I was sick and he didn’t come to see me so I texted him and ask him to be honest if he loves me. He said that he doesn’t love me anymore because we fight too much and I nag too much. He basically was saying I’m too controlling. I beg him for another try and he told me that he’s unhappy and that I should find someone to happen with because he doesn’t see us together in the future. I was very shocked when he said he’s been trying to hold on for the past couple months! it hurts so much that I called him and told him I can’t break up with him. He wasn’t okay with the idea but he came over to do school work together since we’re taking physics together in college. we kissed, hugged, and did sexual things except for sex. I cried in front of him. After a day I didn’t reply to him much and he didn’t text at all. So I tried the no contact rule for college students since I see him 2 days a week and we take the train together. so we officially broke up and I told my mom. she called him and asked why we broke up and asked him if there’s any chance for us to get back together and he said NO. My family loves him but I didn’t realize I was controlling. I am hurt and I want him back but he doesn’t love me or want me ever again. Oh when we officially broke up he asked if we could be friends and I said no. should I still be his lab partner in school? and what should I do to get him back? please help.

  11. sara

    February 28, 2019 at 9:27 am

    hey Chris.
    so my boyfriend broke up with me like, 2 weeks ago. he said he doesnt like the way i am. he said he really liked the way i was but he said that he doesnt like how i have changed. he broke up over text. he told me he couldnt be himself with me and he just doesnt feel the mystery about me anymore. he said he feels that my love is materialistic….he said it’s all hands and thighs with me. i asked him to give us another shot but he refused. we dated for like 10 months.
    i was a complete mess for like, a complete week and i also got to know that he cried over me and he wasn’t completely over me. so later after 2 or 3 days i asked him if we could be friends and he said he will give it a thought but he didnt say anything later. he saw me hanging out with a guy just for once and he called me a “thot”.
    and now, he ignores me. one of his friends say he’s over me and he has a crush on a girl who’s like 2 years older than him. but it’s kinda weird that he started crushing on someone right away. im not sure about it.
    i really want him back. please help me.

  12. Danny

    February 24, 2019 at 4:35 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I need a little advice on my situation. I started seeing this guy almost a year ago, he ended up breaking up with me in the summer which I initiated no contact. We ended up getting back together. Three months ago I pulled the plug on our relationship because he was treating me badly. I acted out of anger and when I came out of it, I realized I made a poor decision. When I asked to try again with him he told me no and to deal with my decision. Since then he’s been very hot and cold, I’ve begged and pleaded to make things work but he continues to say no. I tried to contact him just to be friendly and not bring up our relationship and he’d ignore me or give me short one word answers. So I confronted him at work about it (we work together) and he told me that he didnt want to talk to me because he didnt want me anymore. So I implemented no contact again, it’s been 9 days since I started no contact again, he hasn’t tried to communicate with me over text, or even a conversation at work. Should I just move on at this point?

    1. Chris Seiter

      February 24, 2019 at 6:57 pm

      Hi Danny…I think you should stick with NC. Check into my Program on how to do it correctly!

  13. Siv

    February 7, 2019 at 6:25 am

    Hi
    My boyfriend of 4 years has broken up with me 2 and half months ago. I am 36 and he is 28. We always talked about getting married and kids. It was something he wanted as much as me.
    He said there is no passion (we havent been having sex for awhile, once in a blue moon) but i always felt that we are super intimate with each other and love each other. He had gotten into debt fairly early in our relationship and lied about it. When he understood he needed help he told me the truth : he went bankrupt at 18 and now at the age of 24 he has more dept. I choose to help and took out loans. I felt he lied because he didnt want to loose me in the beginning. So i choose to forgive his lie but ever since i was suspicious and it has been hard for me to trust him. He is a very sweet guy and we had fun together we laughed and got each other. I always said the he is my light (translated from hebrew it makes more sense) he is good with people hes the opposite of me on this. We fell in love and were very close never leaving each others side since we got together. Going back to what happened we ended up going back to live with his parents and we got stuck there for a year. Even though his family is very welcoming he didnt want to live with his nagging mom. We didnt get to see each other much because he worked in the morning and me until the evening. When we did see each other or talk it was a lot of did you go to the bank and lets do something on saterday but he was too tired from work. We would watch tv like old people. Now very close to his bankrupsy finishing and after all weve been through he said i cant do this anymore. He said that before the breal up he kept thinking about were am i going to go. He knows i dont have money to live on my own and that living with my parents would devistate me, he was worried about me. I thought to myself oh no that is not a good reason to stay together. I thought we would move out to our own place eventually and get our life as a couple back on track. He didnt really explain why hes breaking up with me i had to figure it out. After we broke up i asked for one last conversation face to face. We had it and there was no begging a little crying.
    I did no contact for 3 weeks he sent me a text saying that he hopes im okay and that i forgot he said go on with your life and dont look back im sorry i broke your heart, i couldnt do it anymore. I didnt respond.
    Now the only contact we have is him having to take furniture out of a storage unit and having to give me checks for the rest of our loans he has to pay. Stuff like that. We hare very polite always please and thank you.
    I have gone on a diet lost 8 kilos, started exercising. I started a professional make up course so i could make good money and be independent and im working on being positive and looking goid inside and out. I desided to pick myself up and do everything i think will make me feel good. I go out with my girlfriends and concentrate on making my life better. Of course i miss him and cry but i dont let him know.
    I kind did a make over new hair color nails facial new cloths shoes and perfume.
    We are supposed to be meeting up he needs to give me checks next week
    I think he wont recognize me lol
    But what do i say? Should i just play it cool or what? I want to use this opportunity when he sees me face to face. I dont want to tell him that i live with my parents but i suspect that he wont want to know much because hes afraid to get close, i kinda feel hes afraid that he wont be able to resist me. Need advice!!!

    1. Chris Seiter

      February 7, 2019 at 4:15 pm

      Hi Siv…give yourself a big pat on the back as you have done some really good work in picking up yourself. Just be positive, kinda quiet a bit, but kind. It will leave him an impression that will both puzzle him and cause him to thing about you a lot later.

  14. Mandy

    February 2, 2019 at 8:14 pm

    My ex boyfriend and I started dating in high school. He’s still in it and is not as matured and thrown into the real world like I am. One of our issues was that I constantly wanted him to grow up even though he wasn’t ready in certain aspects. Our biggest issue is the way I treated him. I was blind to it, but I’m the main reason he broke up with me. I treated him like a security blanket and put too much pressure on him to make him make me feel ok. However, we were together for almost 2 years, loved each other very much, experienced huge things together, and always invisioned a future. I know it’s a “high school relationship”, but I truly believe if I would’ve realized things sooner and if we both tried harder we’d be happy, and he agrees. Although, he’s stated he doesnt love me the same anymore and doesn’t want or see a future for us. However, I know him and when he’s stressed he pushes everyone out. He says he doesn’t want communication for a very long time and I get that. I’m working on my issues and bettering myself. It’s just very hard because I asked him to give me a chance in the future but he doesn’t want that pressure until then. I know the break up was necessary but it’s hard because I wanted an outcome of us being happy again one day, but he says he doesn’t. I’m not completely blaming myself, but a lot of it was my fault and I realize it now. He agrees when I asked if it was too late. Will he ever give me a second chance? He says he doesn’t love me the same anymore but our connection was so strong.

    1. Chris Seiter

      February 3, 2019 at 12:11 am

      Hi Mandy! We all learn of how to be better relationship partners and that goes for your ex too. Continue to focus on your own healing and recovery as that is key to every aspect of your life. At the same time, you can make use of some of the things I talk about in my Program to advance your chances of getting your ex back.

  15. Juni

    January 6, 2019 at 1:05 pm

    Hi,

    Me and my girlfriend had been together for over 2 years and we broke up for about 1,5 year ago. Even though we both were really sad about it I was the one who broke up with her. For about 3 months after we talked a few times but when I went abroad for about a month we lost contact… or more like: She didn’t wanna talk to me. Last spring and summer was really hard and I missed her like I’ve never missed anyone in my entire life. But she felt that she needed space, she needed to feel like she controlled her own life and made her own choices. Because apparently she feels that I’m “in charge/in control” of everything. I tried to explain to her how I felt and so on but it just got worse and she blocked me on social media and.. we have common friends.. but she never invited me to any of the “hang outs”. I don’t mean to sound like a cranky baby, I know I was the one who broke up… it was just… I still loved her when I did. I just felt that I needed to be on my own for a while.

    During the fall I’ve been studying in another country. We haven’t talked since summer, at all. But last week our friends wanted to have dinner everyone together and both she and I said yes in the chat. The first few minutes it was like during the spring, she barely said hi and it was all so tense… but as the night went on it felt better… we even made some inside jokes and had a fairly good time. Now… the thing is… I want, with all of my being, to be friends with her. We have always had a very good connection when we see each other and the “problem” in our relationship is mostly hurt feelings. So much pain. I think she feels that it’s not worth seeing me and have all that pain. So now, my question is: Do you think we will find a way back to each other? Do you think she want to be friends with me again? How long will she ignore me and shut me out of her life?

    1. Chris Seiter

      January 6, 2019 at 8:12 pm

      Just think little steps. Send her occasionally a text about something interesting. Tap into any of my ebooks to help you thru all this!

    2. Chris Seiter

      January 6, 2019 at 8:12 pm

      Just think little steps. Send her occasionally a text about something interesting. Tap into any of my ebooks to help you thru all this!

  16. Yashvi

    January 5, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    January 5 , 2019 at 6:15 pm

    Hi ,
    Me and my ex bf were together for more than one and half year and broke up two months before.
    Everything was good , he was happy with me i was happy with me ..but i used to talk to my ex in between and he did not knew about this slowly and slowly things got hard between us and i cheated on him but then i realised my mistake i was loyal after that and did everything to keep him happy but now two months before he broke up with me saying : i dont trust you , i need time , i cant decide right now that with whom i want to spend my whole life , my family does not like you , i am not ready for any relationship .
    But i still love him deeply i want him back i am sorry for my mistakes and he knows that but what should i do to bring him back?
    Please suggest

  17. Lana

    December 12, 2018 at 7:14 pm

    Hi Chris,
    My ex and I had been dating for 9 months, but essentially in love with each other for a year. Ever since we’d met, we’d been best friends and obsessed with each other, and after leaving school for a month and talking every day for hours, we came back to school and started a relationship, and kept falling in love. We fell hard and fast–it was the first time either of us were in love/a serious relationship. 3 months together, then 3 months straight of long distance, and the love felt stronger than ever–then we came back to school and for the last 3 months of our relationship, I felt him growing more and more distant. I kept giving so much love, and he said he needed space–I tried to give more space, but whatever I did, it still felt like he was drifting further away. He didn’t want to cuddle, or spend time together (was always “too busy”, even though he says quality time is his most important love language), or (especially towards the end) be intimate–he was too busy and tired. Part of this was maybe because we got placed in the same building/house for housing this year, so maybe I was around him too much, but he didn’t communicate to me that he was seriously thinking about ending the relationship until he wanted to break up with me and I insisted that we try taking a break instead. When we went on the break we were both crying and he said he loved me and that it was the last thing he wanted to do but he didn’t know what to do, it wasn’t me it was him, he didn’t know what to do anymore. It’s been a super stressful semester and I figured he was overwhelmed. When we talked after the break, I’d thought about all the things I’d learned and how we could work to make the relationship better by working on ourselves, too, but he was still certain that he wanted to end it. He said that his love for me had changed, and he couldn’t explain it. He said he still cared about me a lot and that he wanted to be there for each other still, he wanted to be friends, and that I knew more about him than anyone else. It’s been so hard dealing with this (we went on the break a month ago and broke up 2.5 weeks ago) and I feel like I’ve been processing and grieving like crazy and he seems to kind of just be doing a ton of schoolwork and partying and kissing other people. I don’t know if I can get him back and I know that things would have to change in the relationship for it to make us happy again but I still want to try again… I don’t know if he cares at all about trying again though. I don’t know what to do, I just want him to love me as deeply as he used to (we used to talk about spending the rest of our lives together).

    1. Chris Seiter

      December 13, 2018 at 12:36 am

      Hi Lana!

      So there is a lot going on here! Guys take long to figure out the loss. Consider some of the content I have on the site that deals with your healing and recovery going forward. Check out my Podcasts.

  18. Anna J

    November 29, 2018 at 2:19 am

    I was in a ldr with my now exboyfriend. We loved each other very very much and did so many things for each other and we dated for over a year. And then all of the sudden he wanted to break up, and it was very very messy. He first broke up with me and it lasted for literally 2 days, and then he said he wanted to get back together(which I had no objection to because I love him so much) and then we kind of spent like 2ish weeks in a weird hiatus where he was unsure if he wanted to keep dating and then eventually in the middle of September he broke it off officially. Then he said he still wanted to be friends but he thought we shouldn’t talk for a little while so we didn’t. And then about a week later I reached out to him to wish him a happy birthday and then we started talking from there. It was very low key and nothing special, though he still seemed a little engaged, it was nearly anything like dating him. Then, I didn’t quite back off I guess, I told him I missed him and I still wanted to be with him and this one might he just ripped into me about every single thing that was “wrong” with me and then told me he was seeing someone else and continued to tell me she wasn’t just a rebound but he really liked her, so after that night I just told him to leave me alone because I was so hurt, but of course I still loved him. And then the next day he apologize profusely and asked for forgiveness and etc. and I told him that I accepted his apology but I just did not have it in my heart to forgive him quite yet and he accepted it and I asked for some more time to myself and he respected that. Then a couple days later, he called me basically crying about how horrible he felt about saying those things and treating me and that he broke things off with this girl because it wasn’t fair to me or her or himself. Then, once again I accepted his apology but I told him I just didn’t have the forgiveness in me yet and I still needed some time to myself and he respected that. So we didn’t talk for maybe a week and a half and then he reached out to me saying he didn’t want to not talk anymore. So I though I would give him a chance just to be friendly and see what happens. So we talked for a couple days and one night he was talking to me late and said That he still loved me and and he never stopped he was just denying himself and his feelings because he didn’t want to put all the effort into our relationship anymore and that it just got to be too much for him and he started to reject his feelings and that he doesnt expect for me to take him back especially after all he’s done but he just needed to get it out And that he was so hostile because he was just denying himself. And so I told him that he knew where I stood, I loved him a month ago and I still love him now but I couldn’t just get back into a relationship (little did I know that was exactly what I wanted actually, I wanted to be with him again right away) and that if he truly loved me he would wait and be patient for me. And so he agreed and then we went on talking for another couple weeks and being friendly but also aware of our feelings for each other, keeping in mind that we may get back together some time. And then all of the sudden after like 3 weeks, he said that he doesn’t want tobe with me every and that he regrets saying that he wanted to be with me, and so that was very hard I was extremely upset because I asked if he meant it(back when he said he still loved me) and if I could trust him and all that and he promised me I could. So we didn’t talk for like a couple days and then I reached out to him go talk and I guess basically try and get him to change his mind-he didn’t. And so we didn’t talk a little more, and then I reached out again and we started talking and just being very chill and I thought it was going good but then he posted on his Snapchat story telling ppl to “hmu” and he made a face and it was clear he wanted to talk to other girls. So I got very upset and I asked him about it and he got very mad. Yk all I did was just say that I didn’t get it because he was talking to me already and it hurt that that wasn’t good enough and I didn’t appreciate him trying to get with other girls right in front of my face, and he said that he didn’t have to care about my feelings anymore and that I couldn’t tell him what to do (I wasn’t) and that since we weren’t dating he didn’t need to care about my feelings ever and he didn’t need to censor himself for my sake. And then he said he didn’t love me anymore and I was so upset and then I basically ended up apologizing for something I didn’t do and told him not to say that and to just not push me away and all this stuff and I told him I’d give him some space for now and he basically just said “fine” and we left it at that. A couple days later, he hadn’t reached out and so I just quickly gave him a very happy thanksgiving text saying that I was thankful for our time last year(we spent thanksgiving together last year so it was very hard) and saying that I missed us. And he said “yeah happy thanksgiving to you too” and then I left it at that, and then 2 days later I reached out basically just saying that I missed him very much and I was wondering if we could just talk and keep in mind that we used to love each other a lot and we spent a year together and it was meaningful and to not get in an argument or short or nasty with each other and so he agreed. And then I asked if I could skype him and he said he didn’t really want to and I just told him I thought it would be the clearest way to talk to each other without things getting mixed up and taken the wrong way (and frankly I just wanted him to see me face). But he said no again and I just tried saying that I thought it was best but it was whatever he wanted and then he said look I don’t even want to do this so I said ok and that I shouldn’t even talk because I was tired and then I just sent him a funny picture that my Snapchat sent me because it was taken on that day a year ago and he said “ stop, quit trying to win me back by bringing up memories” and I said that I was sorry that wasn’t my intention (but of course it kinda was because I just wanted to stir something in him) and that I sent it to him because I thought it was funny and I just said a reminder that I was still the girl who took that photo. And he said “it’s ok” and then I told him I came across this card he sent me a long time ago a couple days ago and I continued to say that I was still her still the girl he sent this too and he said “ just stop” and of course it hurt but I apologized and said that it was unfair and I didn’t want to push and he said “ well you’re pushing” and I said that I knew and I was really sorry about it that it wasn’t my intention, and I didn’t mean to push and whatever and he said “ I forgive you” and then later I responded with a thank you and then he opened the conversation and didn’t reply. This was on Saturday night and we haven’t talked since. I haven’t reached out to him because i assumed he didn’t want to talk, especially since he hasn’t reached out to me. So my plan was to just wait a week or so and see if he responds and if he doesn’t, reassess and

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 29, 2018 at 3:32 am

      Hi Anna….so I can see a lot is going on in your life. I do think you will almost always benefit when you have a sensible ex recovery plan. I can help you with that. Feel free to visit my home page and explore all of the resources and tools!

  19. Lolie

    November 25, 2018 at 11:51 am

    Hi Chris,

    I wrote you on the article early in September, saying my ex did not want contact anymore. After two months of no contact, I reached out to him, to ask him to give me back something. We met, after 6 months. We talked for a long time, about our lives, ate together and he walked me home. He hugged me a long time before leaving. then, I saw him again,we went for a coffee, then to eat. He walked me home and came upstairs. we talked, and he hugged me and kissed me, I did not do the first move. He slept at my place. We met again, because he had to give me back some stuffs. Again we ate together, he walked me home, hugged me. I proposed him to come upstairs and he said he does not want to send me signals but it is what he was doing. He said he likes spending time with me but it does not change what he is thinking. That we do not want the same thing. He came to my place, we had a discussion, very emotional. He said he should leave, but in the end he stayed again. When he left in the morning he kissed and hugged me. Of course we saw each again, yesterday. Coffee, food, and I proposed him to come. He said “you know it’s wrong”. He came. We spent a very nice time together. In the morning we had another talk. Again, that we do not want the same thing, that he is ready to have a serious relation, but not with me. that it does not change what he is thinking, that he felt we lived what we had to. That it is not good for both of us because we cannot really move on. Of course, he admitted we still have this chemistry.
    I acted very cool like, I still have feelings for you and I just want to spend time with you without wondering what we are. I like being with you but I don’t want to put pressure on you.
    I really don’t know what to think of this. If I should leave him go, or not.

  20. sabrina

    November 1, 2018 at 7:44 am

    have tried every possible way to get in touch with you but have failed

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 2, 2018 at 2:39 am

      Hi Sabrina!

      Are you trying to contact me? How can I help you!

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