76 thoughts on “If I Leave My Ex Alone Will He Miss Me?”

1. 

   Christina

   February 13, 2018 at 5:25 pm

   My guy decided to pack a bag and leave our home last night. He stated he was going to come back for the rest of his stuff eventually. I did try to get him to talk to me, but this morning, I sent one last text stating that he needs to contact me when he wants to come to the house for his things, and otherwise, he is not the only one who needs space and time to think.
   What caused it? There was a lot of drama involving his ex wife. She is controlling and manipulative and he’s been abused by her for 15+ years. She twisted everything and manipulated him into believing I was lying to him(and I’m not), I was going through his phone and social media(and I’m not), and various other things. He thinks he cannot trust me at all.
   Since this morning, I’ve not contacted and I’m sure that is what I need to keep doing. I think once he has time away from me and sees how much harder life is when he doesn’t have a nice home to live in, he will start to see that a woman who has done so much for him and cared for him has no reason to ever lie to him. I am going to work on myself and think about ways I can nurture relationships in the future so that trust is never an issue. Hopefully, he will return, but in the meantime, I will give it space for him to get his head back on his shoulders.
   What else can I do?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 18, 2018 at 10:51 am

   Hi Christina,

   That’s good that you think that way.. Start a new routine, do new things and make new friends.

2. 

   Sasha

   February 13, 2018 at 3:59 am

   Posted in another article–not sure if you got it…so will post here.
   LDR for about 3 years. He was in another continent. Didn’t meet for 2 years. He moved to Canada (we are still LD bcz Im in NY). I went to see him twice. That’s all we have met. He is dealing with depression, for so many years (even before he met me). He has so much responsibility of his family, plus he hates it in Canada due to the cold weather. We always talked about marriage. But since his family didn’t agree, he said he cant do it, but we didn’t stop talking. There was still hope we will get married one day. Btw, we did break up once in 2016 due to so much stress on our relationship (due to LD, his family issues, me putting pressure on him). I did the NC rule for 34 days. He messaged me. We started talking again and got back together (he was still in different continent then). This time seems different though. Things started going downhill in december. He wouldn’t talk to me. Would always be ‘busy’. He even called once to apologize for his behavior, but then silence again the next day. When i confronted him what is going on between us, he shut me down. And I decided to let it be and move on. Although, I did contact him on his bday (18th day of NC) and went on with my life. He started contacting me again, not everyday but once a week. He initiates all the talks. Recently, he started messaging everyday and saying how he wants to go on a vacation. He asked if I would like to come. I got confused and asked are we going as friends or more than that. He said friends.
   So, I think i am friend-zoned. I am confused if I should go on vacation with him or not. Maybe that will help build rapport? Should I re-start NC and do 45 days now? I am still interested in getting him back. I know he has no-one else he is taking to. I was his first gf. We have a lot of emotional connection. The only reason im scared to do NC is because I know, no matter how I treat him, he will always reply if I message him.
   So, my question: Should I restart NC? Especially now, that we started talking? I’m thinking maybe this is the time I should start building rapport and show him Im not desperate. Please help! Thanks

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 15, 2018 at 12:33 pm

   Hi Sasha,

   What’s the reason of rebuilding rapport again? Is it to get him back? Because if yes, I think you should just move on.. Unless, he’s going to move to Canada, or he literally says he changed his mind about the possibility of you being his wife someday.

3. 

   P.B

   February 12, 2018 at 7:52 pm

   Here again. Sorry for the long post and thank you for being there and your advice.
   Sum up: one year after break up, 1st NC, built rapport, trapped in the flirting-friends zone. He has moved across the country a few months and hates LDR (our was but lived near, one hour by train).Before he moved I told him some of my feelings and said that he wasn’t moving forever, just a few months and we could have that conversation when he is back and that he was very happy to know my feelings. I did second NC in January for your advice and he texted on day 30 very nice and flirting, even proposing a plan “for us” to do at distance. I answered the following day an he waited 10 days. Told me that he can’t watch our favorite tv show without thinking about me and asked me if I’m going to see a movie we both are looking forward too and how is my life in “my city” (I live now in his former town for studies). I answered too fast (my mistake, I was too anxious that night fearing he was with another girl). It’s been 3 days and nothing happened. I know that he went to a party last Saturday and I’m araid he could have met someone there. I’m always obsessing with the possibility he date another girls. I know I can’t control that but it breaks me because I’d loose him forever.
   The thing is that I need to tell him how I feel and asking for another chance because it’s been a year and my therapist says that I need to have a deadline and not staying in this state of uncertainty.And I agree. But there is the distance (I don’t now if he has a date for coming back or if he wants to stay there much more) and the possibility of him meeting another girl. I’m going to do it because I need him to know and don’t stay in this ambiguos situation of hard flirting + friends.
   But my therapist thinks that I should tell him all face to face. I agree and I really need him to see me, I think it could change a little bit the things, out of sight, out of mind but if he sees me face to face isn’t that easy to deny feelings. The problem is that it is impossible to meet, I tried a few times (when we lived in different but near towns and once when I went to his new city). He always said that he wanted (we even talked about what could happen when the moment arrived) but in the last minute he came up with an excuse. Last time, in his new city, he really couldn’t make it for work BUT if he had read my messages before (was one of that times he didn’t read in days, sometimes he waits days and others we text back in minutes) we could have arranged in another way. After I came back he apologised and said that he was ashamed for failing me but… If I try one more time, the risk to something similar happens is high. I don’t know why he is so warm and nice by text and tells me that he want to see me (even in his last text, 10 days ago) and when he has the chance he avoids it. So I don’t know what to do.
   Should I start texting him in the next days if I hadn’t response to prepare the field and to know if he is dating (not asking him, obviously, but I could feel it for the way of talking to me, I know him). I don’t want to appear out of the blue like “hey, we’ve talked two times in two months but I love you, give me another chance”. There’s anything I can do apart from keep my social media game up? (I’m good at that but it’s not enough to get him back)

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 15, 2018 at 12:29 pm

   I don’t agree with confessing your feelings because that just confirms you’re chasing.. and by the looks of it, he’s not interested right now. It’s less likely that he will reciprocate your feelings if he doesn’t even want to see you in the first place.