If You Had a Long Distance Breakup Here Is How You Get Back Together

179 thoughts on “If You Had a Long Distance Breakup Here Is How You Get Back Together”

Gabby

October 17, 2018 at 7:49 am

Hi Chris, do you think we still can get back together if we didn’t talk from May til oct. Our last meet up was in end of jan where we traveled to Europe. It was half fun, another half getting into disagreements and arguments and I think I planted the idea of break up into his head by asking if that was meant to be a happy or break up trip. Our last phone call in April was messy and angry, I was too hurt and unintentional attacked him verbally and crushed his ego. I still miss him but he wouldn’t reply to my two different texts that sent out in july. Does it mean he is done with me forever ?

Chris Seiter

October 18, 2018 at 11:36 pm

Hi Gabby!

It seems like you guys are going thru an up/down period. I doubt that everything is over. Just back off a bit and give each other some room and tap into some of the tools and resources I have on my site….check out my Home Page.

gabby

October 9, 2018 at 10:40 pm

hi, if my ldr ex bf broke up with me after a heated, name calling, messy argument and we stopped talking for 5months, do we have a chance to get back together? I reached out on the 3rd mth with good memories text twice but he din reply. Part of me is wanting to move on, another part is missing him and hoping for reconciliation. How do i go about this? Should i delete him off social media to live better?

Chris Seiter

October 10, 2018 at 2:05 am

If it gives you peace of mind

Ceri

October 7, 2018 at 1:01 pm

Hey Chris and team,
So I’m now about 6 months into my long distance break up, there was a time when it was going well where it felt like we were going to get back together but couldn’t because of the distance and work, then he said we were never getting back together. I’ve asked about this before and did complete just over 20 days no contact before he asked if I was ignoring him and I felt this defeated the point of no contact. But now I’m not sure whether to keep trying as for some reason I just can’t quite let go or continue trying to get him back. What would the next steps be? Thanks, Ceri

Chris Seiter

October 7, 2018 at 9:56 pm

Hi Ceri!

NC seemed to work in the sense that he noticed your communications shutting down and reached out. One could assume he was more than just simply curious. You should execute the NC program in the way I teach it. I know its complicated in some respects if they are reaching out and yes, it may be appropriate to respond given the specifics of your situation. So why not explore what his frame of mind is. Just take things slow to gauge where he is in his feelings.

Gina

September 21, 2018 at 10:49 pm

So my ex and I had our skype chat and talked for a while. I mentioned I was struggling with work visas and he jokingly offered to marry me…but then said he would honestly do anything to help me. He also referenced a lot of our past things we used to do as a couple, etc, and texted me after our chat to tell me how nice it was to talk to me. Where do I go from here?

Chris Seiter

September 21, 2018 at 11:36 pm

HI Gina!

Things moving in the right direction. Just go it slow. Let the attraction build slowly. You don’t want to blow out the flame. And by golly, go learn more about my program so you are up to speed on all the nuances and tactics.

Gina

September 17, 2018 at 9:21 pm

Well as I said in previous messages, he’s offered to Skype with me and chat. So all I have to do is tell him I want to take him up on that, I’m just wondering if there’s anything extra that will make this chat count.
Gina

September 17, 2018 at 7:29 pm

Anything in particular I should do/mention? It’s been a year since we broke up and I;ve only seen him once in person since then…last time we video chatted was after he broke up with me and I demanded he call me to explain face to face.

Chris Seiter

September 17, 2018 at 9:12 pm

Hi Gina…are you interested in reaching out to him…initiating contact?

Gina

September 17, 2018 at 2:58 am

So my ex texted me today and we actually ended having a pretty good chat. I’m struggling with the idea of moving for a job and he suggested we Skype and just have a chat. This is the first time he’s suggested anything like this, even when we were dating long distance. Do I initiate?

Chris Seiter

September 17, 2018 at 3:53 am

Hi Gina!

Glad to hear the chat was positive. Go for it. A little Skype convo can create some more positive deposits for the trust bank.

Dolly

September 12, 2018 at 4:11 pm

So today after gym I receive a call from a number I don’t know, turns out it’s my ex. I’ve already picked it up and I can’t hang up the call because it will be rude. He asked me how I was doing and also said he thought he should call and check how I am doing since he didn’t reply the last text he got from me (remember I talked about it) and I was just calm and collected not rude at all but also not too friendly. Any idea why this might have happened? Does he miss me or he was genuinely just checking me?‍♀️

Chris Seiter

September 17, 2018 at 9:55 pm

I think its both..he misses you and checking up on you. My advice is to get up to speed on my ex recovery program so you can maximize all the moves you make.

Dolly

September 10, 2018 at 10:54 am

Hi Chris
I don’t know if I understand you but, by saying it would be wise if he reconnected with me you meant that I should wait for him to be the one to make contact first after NC?

Chris Seiter

September 11, 2018 at 12:52 am

I am hopeful he will reach out to you during the NC period. But my program calls for a progressive and tactical way for making contact with your ex after NC is concluded.

Gina

September 9, 2018 at 2:59 pm

The thing is, I’m in Europe and he’s in North America, it’s not like I can invite him casually since it’s a pretty big thing for either party to fly anywhere. He’s still initiating texts but I don’t think he’s gonna push to get back together

Chris Seiter

September 9, 2018 at 6:45 pm

I understand Gina. Just keep putting little breadcrumbs so he will keep initiating. Also, maybe a little jealousy can give him an awakening.

Dolly

September 8, 2018 at 11:58 pm

Hi I posted a comment a few minutes ago but I can’t see it.
Dolly

September 8, 2018 at 11:04 pm

Hi. My boyfriend of two years broke up with me this week due to a year of long distance. I had to drop out of university due to finances and go back home but I’ll be going back next year. He completed his year last year and is now working. Our problem was that we hardly saw each other due to how far we were from each other. We love each other sooo much we had even planned a future together. Things started getting tense between us when I had to meet him but it wasn’t possible due to family issues. That happened about 5 weeks ago, 2 weeks after the tension had started he called asking if we can meet up soon over lunch and told me that he misses me and he wants us to meet so we could solve stuff face to face instead of over the phone.

I agreed and we set up a date but he postponed due to his mother’s birthday which he didn’t even go to. A few days later he asked if I’d be okay with him getting a side girl and I refused stating obvious reasons. We set up another which was this weekend but he told me a few days before that he thinks it wouldn’t be the best time for us to meet.

When I asked him why, he finally told me that he had met someone and he’d like to give her a chance. Then out of hurt I told him that I wish him well. He called me and admitted that he doesn’t love her but loves me a lot. He said he only likes her and feels that she should be with her now because she is in the same area with him and that he doesn’t want to be alone. He told me repeatedly that he loves me and that she is only a choice now because she is closer. Out of hurt again I told him that we should cut contact so he can be with her. He didn’t want that but said yes anyway just to please me.

The next morning I felt a little bad and told him that I didn’t mean it when I said we should cut contact but we can talk every now and then as we were best friends. He didn’t reply to that text but he definitely saw it. I know that he still has my numbers because he checks my WhatsApp statuses everytime I post something or a picture.

I love him sooo much and I know for sure he meant it when he said he still loves me. Do we still have a chance together perhaps when I get back to varsity in three months? We weren’t only lovers but best friends as well so I really don’t know what to do.

Chris Seiter

September 9, 2018 at 5:04 am

Hi Dolly…your ex is being unfair to you by pulling your heart one way…then tugging it another. But people make mistakes all the time with their relationship choices. Its seem to me it would be wise if he reconnected with you. Best to have a comprehensive ex recovery plan which is what offer here on the site.

Gina

September 7, 2018 at 10:24 pm

Do I wait for him to bring it up? He was reluctant to visit when we were together so not sure if that’ll come from him. Would a nudge that I’ve moved on help?

Chris Seiter

September 7, 2018 at 10:53 pm

Hi again Gina!

I see you point. At this point, I think its good to think 3 dimensional. So maybe there is some event in your area and you can say you are buying tickets and if he would like to come and and enjoy the experience with you.

The nudge that you have moved on is a tactic, but save that for last.

Gina

September 7, 2018 at 4:31 am

My ex broke up with me about a year ago. We had started long distance when I went back overseas bcause I lost my job, but we had plans as to how to make it work. Fast forward a year- no contact for 6 months, I went back to visit and he asked to see me, we hung out and he took me to all our old haunts and now he texts me periodically asking when I’m coming back. Last week he drunk texted me, asking when I was coming back because he wanted us to go back to our favourite hotel. He later apologised, but I’m not sure how to proceed from here. Clearly he’s conflicted, but I don’t know how to use this to my advantage because he’s not good at articulating his feelings.

Chris Seiter

September 7, 2018 at 3:08 pm

Hi Gina!

Yes…he seems interested in you. So maybe just take things slow. Be responsive to his texts…keep it positive. If he is genuinely interested in making this connection work and last, then he should be amenable to coming to see you in your neck of the woods. That would be a test of his intentions and level of interest.

Hannah Lynch

March 2, 2018 at 1:44 am

Thanks so much for getting back,
I take it i have no chance then if he’s blocked me off everything? Im going back home in around two months for good. Literally fell in love with this guy as i’ve known him for so long, and i finally got him, now ive screwed it up right?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 5, 2018 at 4:52 pm

Well, it was wrong to chase him..so, of you still want to try, don’t do that again..move on without totally moving on..

Hannah Lynch

February 28, 2018 at 8:45 pm

Me and ex boyfriend were seeing each other officially for around 1 month. It is a long distance relationship and it ended abruptly because he asked me had i been saying anyone during the 1 month that we were chatting and if i was behaved. so all in all its been about 2 months. He told me that he slept with someone, so i said me too (which i did I sleep with someone (sort of) the opposite sex). I was extremely drunk (i know this isn’t an excuse) but i didn’t know what was happening between us and everything was up in the air so i was just out one night and it happened. I didn’t think this was cheating as we were not official but he says that we had an agreement that we were gonna behave, although there were days he wouldn’t text me and always me initiating conversation.

However i did travel home to see him after about 2 weeks after this to make it official and everything was perfect. Then when he asked me that and i told him he told me he was lying and just wanted to see what i said. I have literally tried so hard to get him back.. i even sent him flowers! He blocked me from everything, every social media, phone, everytttthing…..

When he received the flowers he got in contact and said he would work on things but after 2 days he got angry again and blocked me again from everything. It’s been about 4 days i havn’t contacted him after he told me not to contact him again. I am absolutely heartbroken. what the hell do i do!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2018 at 12:09 pm

Hi Hannah,
You were just two months together.. It’s a short relationship..so basically you just do 21-30 days.

S

February 13, 2018 at 9:32 pm

I started working out, looking into going to grad school, and hung out with my friends. I was pretty active on social media – posted some pictures of me with friends/nice looking selfies. He keeps making comments that are friendly, but almost overly friendly, if that makes sense. Like it could be interpreted in a friendly way, but I know him well enough to know that he doesn’t speak to his friends that way. I’m afraid to flirt back

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2018 at 1:28 pm

Start slowly building rapport in text while you continue on being more focused in your life and continue posting..

Janina

February 13, 2018 at 2:06 pm

Hi!

I have been reading this site since the beginning of December, and I wish I had found this site much sooner. I think I would have had a better chance getting my ex boyfriend back then. We began dating one year ago, when I was an exchange student in my parents´ home country. He was extremely nice and helpful in everything, and I fell in love with him slowly and surely. It was the first serious relationship for both of us, and we had really wonderful and truly happy moments.

We had a long distance relationship from the beginning in my exchange country (200km) but when I moved back to my home country after 6 months of dating, it was a disaster because we were both future-oriented and couldn´t decide which one should move to the other person´s country in the future. We didn´t make any clear plans either that who would visit whom, how often and when.

We broke up after 8 months of dating but kept contact daily for 2 months after that. Then he started to become more distant. I panicked and tried to manipulate him and made a bad mistake of hurting him deeply. He blocked me on facebook and said he wants nothing to do with me anymore. After a few days I sincerely apologized to him and he said he isn´t angry at me but had realized that I´m not the one for him. I found this site then and decided to start no contact, because I felt that anything I was doing to try to save our broken and lost relationship was making the things only worse. After a week I broke the no contact to send him a short email asking a practical important question which he replied to quickly and positively. It seemed like he was much calmer and relaxed, and wrote that he had been thinking a lot if he was doing the right thing cutting off contact. He said it felt nice to know that I was there loving him but felt bad about disappearing from my life like that. He said that if it´s meant to be, it will be. I replied and said I agree with him and we should have cut contact already a long time ago. Since then he sent me a text after 2 weeks saying “Merry Christmas to you and your family, please be happy ;)”. I didn´t want to be rude so I replied politely. After that there was no contact at all for 30 days. After that I sent him a short, positive, interesting email and he replied the next day. He said it was nice to hear from me. We sent each other a couple of emails but it takes longer and longer for him to reply. Since the last email he hasn´t replied for a week now.

Should I wait until he reaches out for me or should I try to keep up the contact with him? Is it normal that it takes this long for him to reply? I understand that I am not his priority anymore, but a week seems like a quite long time to reply. I´m still blocked on facebook and it seems like he is really trying to move on. I have made very much self-reflecting and realized lots of mistakes from my part that had led to the breakup. I have strived for improving myself and taking part in interesting projects and I have subtly integrated this information in my emails to him as well.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2018 at 10:30 am

Hi Janina,

Let him initiate but set a limit on until when you would wait before moving on

Ana

February 10, 2018 at 8:12 pm

Hey Amor! So I was on my 16 day of No Contact when I sent him a Snapchat, it was only a picture tho. Did I ruin no contact? He opened it and didn’t say anything. On he EBFR book it says 21 days of no contact if you broke up in a good way, in my case, broke up the friendship. Should I wait the 21 days and txt him? I miss him so much all the time it’s killing me 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2018 at 12:56 pm

yup, that means you broke it.

S

February 9, 2018 at 3:29 pm

Hello. I was in a ldr for 5ish months with a man I met at a work conference. I live on the West Coast, he lives on the East Coast. We saw each other once/twice a month for the 5 months we were together, and we were making it work. We were really happy together, and he invited me to stay with his family for Christmas/New Years so I could meet everyone/spend time with him. Things were great, then he started acting distant saying he didn’t like that we were only seeing each other once a month, but that he wanted to make a plan to see each other more. So I came up with a list of dates that I could see him and we said we’d make it work. I got home after New Years and he ended things abruptly saying he felt like I was more invested than he was. I asked if there was anything I could do and he said no. So I began no contact after the initial break up and made it about 29 days before I received a letter from him in the mail saying he was having a hard time putting his feelings to words and that he was still working through the break up but still wanted to remain friends. I reached out to him to let him know I received his letter but that I was still processing the break up and as much as I’d like to be friends, I was not ready for it at that moment. Since then, he’s texted me every single day for a week now. He asked me if he could write me another letter, and I told him yes, but I wasn’t interested in the letter if it was just to relieve himself of guilt/tell me why he wanted to remain friends. What should I do? I still want to be with him, but I’m nervous that he has put me in the friendzone. But I’m also confused that he’s been texting me every single day initiating contact. Should I go back to No Contact?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 12, 2018 at 11:07 pm

Hi S,

That’s good that you conveyed that you’re not ready to be friends yet but how much did you improve yourself and how active were you in posting in social media during nc and now?

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179 thoughts on “If You Had a Long Distance Breakup Here Is How You Get Back Together”