If You Had a Long Distance Breakup Here Is How You Get Back Together

179 thoughts on “If You Had a Long Distance Breakup Here Is How You Get Back Together”

Ana

January 26, 2018 at 4:29 am

I thought could be that. Any chances of him falling in love with me again? Or should I move on? Should I do no contact period and text him? Ty Amor <3

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 29, 2018 at 11:37 am

Frankly, I think should move on.

Alice

January 26, 2018 at 2:13 am

Hey, we were together for nearly eight years. I met my ex at high school when I was studying in Europe (I’m Asian). We went to different universities in the same ame country (different cities) but continued going out. This lasted about 6 years and then I had to go back to Asia since I found a job that is really suitable for me at home. We did long distance for 2 years and suddenly he broke up with me. He said he feels that our worlds are becoming increasingly different. I am so into my job and my new friends that he feels I’d rather chat with them than being there for him. He also feels really stressed out from the pressure of finding work in my country so that we can work out. He’s doing a masters now but he’s not sure he’d be able to come after the course. And he’s also started developing a crush for a friend who shares more hobbies with him than me. Before the breakup I actually considered parting ways with him but now that we are broken up, I realise that I love a lot more than I ever realised. It’s been about 10 days since the breakup and I haven’t contacted him at all. He did say when he texted me the final text that we should take a break for a while but he’d be happy to hear from me in future and that I know how to contact him. Is there any chance left in this relationship? He still hasn’t deleted our photo together from his fb profile pic album (but no longer his current photo), so surely there are feelings left?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 29, 2018 at 11:36 am

Hi Alice,

Yeah, there probably still are.

Ana

January 22, 2018 at 1:16 pm

Ty so much amor! We did it. We said goodbye. He said he was afraid to ruin his relationship with his gf because of me, and if he had to choose between one of us it would be her. I didn’t show any sadness though, I stayed strong and confident in my decision. There was one point which he said he didn’t feel it was goodbye forever and that more time need to pass. Does it mean something or am I just dreaming? Ty again! <3

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 24, 2018 at 1:39 am

He’s probably trying to friendzone you..

Ana

January 20, 2018 at 2:55 pm

Does he really wants a fall back even when he won’t open my messages? Or maybe he just want someone chasing him? I see he’s online but he never open our convo 🙁 it’s been three days since our last talk. All I wanted was to say goodbye because it would set me free I can’t move on without having this last talk but this day seems t never come. Any advices?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 21, 2018 at 6:48 am

Hi ana,

You have to give the closure to yourself..especially if he’s already ignoring you..

Iin

January 17, 2018 at 5:23 am

Hi, it’s me again (from previous comment)

i bumped into my long distance ex during a social event in my city 2 weeks ago. he talked to me but it was really awkward, i tried to avoid him as much as possible, and so did he. then during dinner with our mutual friends we both somehow got a little bit drunk and i told him straight away that i still wanted to make things work out between us (couldn’t control myself because of the alcohol). he looked uncertain and didn’t give me any reply, saying that i didn’t know what he wanted out of a relationship. but then he told my friend that he still loves me but it was more kind of a feeling towards a family member (not sure what he meant by that). i went to his hotel room to make sure he was okay cause he was quite drunk, and he told me to stay for the night. but i decided to leave cause a couple of other friends were in the room as well, and i thought it was quite awkward. the next day he avoided me again, as if nothing happened at all last night. i was pissed and told him that i decided to give up waiting after him, and then he just left without any reply. it’s been almost a month after the breakup and i’ve been applying no contact, except last week i sent a text message telling him to take care of himself and not to get drunk during his best friend’s wedding, but didn’t get any reply from him. this weekend it seems that he’s going to drop by my city again, and if a mutual friend of us invites me for dinner, should i go? i do really miss him and still want to reconcile things with him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2018 at 7:40 am

Hi Lin
that means you broke the nc when you sent that text… and it showed you were still hoping or chasing him.. What he meant with what he said is that he cares but is not in love anymore.. If you’re still going to try nc, make this the last time and refuse meeting up with in mutual events like that dinner.. focus in improving yourself and in posting, and date others too.

Ana

January 11, 2018 at 10:09 pm

Around 6 months. I know that I was a rebound for him. His gf will move to his place within 2 months and I know we won’t be able to talk anymore. I mean, we barely talk now. I said I wanted to end the friendship because it don’t do me any good, and so did he but it seems he’s avoiding saying goodbye. What does it means? What should I do? Is there still any chance? Ty!

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 14, 2018 at 8:20 pm

well, if you are the rebound, then him refusing goodbye probably means he wants a fall back if it doesn’t work out again with his gf. If you still want to try check this one:
EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

Ana

January 11, 2018 at 11:46 am

hi, me and my ex long distance boyfriend broke up a few weeks ago, because he is back with his ex gf. Although we stayed in touch this week he was super rude/cold to me bcuz he had a problem but didn’t want to tell me me, probably related to his gf. I said things I didn’t mean to him and now he won’t answer me anymore. We only talked on skype and Snapchat but he won’t open the conversations, I wonder if he deleted the apps so I could not bother him anymore. What should I do? I still love him 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 11, 2018 at 7:38 pm

HI Ana,

how long were you together? are you going to do the nc rule?

Iin

January 5, 2018 at 2:46 am

Hi,

My boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago and I’ve been on no contact ever since. We were in a long distance relationship for a year and half, things were great till two weeks ago he broke up with me out of the blue saying that we just don’t fit with each other. He said that he wanted a life partner, and I just don’t fit in it. Saying that we were too similar in habits and personalities wise, also having many cultural differences. He told me that he’s been thinking about these stuff for few months. This weekend he’s going to come over for a social event, and I couldn’t avoid him. How should I act or behave around him during the no contact? I really want to get back together with him as I believe in second chances. I want to show him I’ve changed and confident that we can work things out.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 9:17 pm

Hi Lin,

Avoid him as much as you can but when you’re around each other be civil and polite..

Iin

January 3, 2018 at 6:20 am

Hi,

My boyfriend and I had been in a long distance relationship for a year and a half. He broke up with me on Dec 22nd by sending a text message saying that things weren’t working at all, it was quite out of the blue. During that time I tried calling and sending text messages but he gave me the cold shoulders and completely ignored me. We barely fought during the relationship. I gave him three days to cool off, and decided to fly off to his hometown looking for him, wanting to get answers, reasons of the break up. He then told me that he didn’t love me anymore, and feeling tired of the pressure I gave him (education and family background), but it was never my intention to hurt him. I love him regardless his education and work background, cause they don’t matter at all. He left me heartbroken, by saying that he was sure that he didn’t want to continue the relationship anymore, also saying that we’re too similar in personality wise and had so many cultural differences (which I think were just excuses). We always visited each other at least once a month during the relationship, and have many mutual friends. In November, during my last visit when we attended his friend’s wedding, he was still telling his friends that he was planning to get married with me this year. It was then two weeks later things started to change. Since that, we haven’t been contacting each other at all (it’s been a week). However, this weekend he’s flying over and we’ll run across each other again through a mutual friend for a social event, and I don’t know how to act or behave around him during the no contact. I still want him back, and been missing him a lot. Can you give me some suggestions on how to get him to want me back..?
Iin

January 3, 2018 at 6:17 am

Hi,

My boyfriend and I had been in a long distance relationship for a year and a half. He broke up with me on Dec 22nd by sending a text message saying that things weren’t working at all, it was quite out of the blue. During that time I tried calling and sending text messages but he gave me the cold shoulders and completely ignored me. We barely fought during the relationship. I gave him three days to cool off, and decided to fly off to his hometown looking for him, wanting to get answers, reasons of the break up. He then told me that he didn’t love me anymore, and feeling tired of the pressure I gave him (education and family background), but it was never my intention to hurt him. I love him regardless his education and work background, cause they don’t matter at all. He left me heartbroken, by saying that he was sure that he didn’t want to continue the relationship anymore, also saying that we’re too similar in personality wise and had so many cultural differences (which I think were just excuses). We always visited each other at least once a month during the relationship, and have many mutual friends. In November, during my last visit when we attended his friend’s wedding, he was still telling his friends that he was planning to get married with me this year. It was then two weeks later things started to change. Since that, we haven’t been contacting each other at all (it’s been a week). However, this weekend he’s flying over and we’ll run across each other again through a mutual friend for a social event, and I don’t know how to act or behave around him during the no contact. I still want him back, and been missing him a lot. Can you give me some suggestions on how to get him to want me back?
Fiona

December 29, 2017 at 4:12 pm

Hi! I need some help.
I started having a long distance relationship about a year ago and we would see each other every 4-6 weeks. I was very insecure in the relationship and would get upset when he would forget about me while he was out with friends and leave me on read for the rest of the night. We were planning on me moving out to him, he would buy me things, he did love me, but I was just stupid and didn’t understand that he just had different ways of showing he loved me. Thursday Dec 21st I got drunk and he sent me a text making me feel bad about not texting him back, and i responded with a really shitty message. I apologized the next day but he thought I broke up with him which I made clear that I didn’t want that. 2 Days later, Christmas morning to be exact, he wanted to talk to me and while I thought we were going to fix this like we have before, he actually wanted to let me know that he thought it would be best to separate because he needs to fix himself/figure himself out and couldn’t be in a relationship because of that. I was devastated. He told me he loved me, still likes me, I brought up that I was scared he would find someone else, and he also said he was worried about me finding someone else too. I’m confused why I can’t be there for him when he’s going through that. I read all the articles and decided that I will do NC (I started that on the 27th of december). He still wants to be ‘friends’, and he’s okay with me messaging him, but would NC be a smart move on my part?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 9:12 pm

Hi Fiona,

yes, you should try the 21 day period.

Ana

December 26, 2017 at 2:18 am

My ex long distance boyfriend is dating again his ex gf. Although we are still in touch I’m always the one who go after him. We are friends but the way he refers to her as ‘’my girlfriend’’ seems like he wants to hurt me. Plus it’s hard to convince him to skype me but when we do our talk is fun and sometimes flirty. I know I’m not the one he likes but I miss when he used to. What should I do??

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 27, 2017 at 10:08 pm

Try this one too:
EBR 015: How To Get A Long Distance Boyfriend Back If He Has A New Girlfriend

Dasha

December 15, 2017 at 1:10 pm

I wanted to say thank you for this site, I learned so much! I was in a long-distance relationship for almost a month, we never met, but it was very intense. I really fell in love with a guy, and he also had strong feelings for me. But then everything went wrong, he started to mistrust me and said his feelings faded away. And actually asked to be alone. I did so many mistakes, like trying to convince i am good, that I am the best for him and so on. Finally he blocked me partially, so i was devastated and lost respect for myself too.
But then i started no contact without any hope of success. And after 3 weeks he contacted me out of the blue. This was such a surprise! Now he all the time asks how are you, what’s going on, i try to show that i am very fine and positive. I don’t talk about how much i was hurt as this won’t lead to anything. But sometimes i just wonder whether his feelings will ever fully revive.. What else should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 6:12 pm

HI Dasha,

how long have you been texting? are you still actively improving yourself and posting in social media?

Alisa

December 11, 2017 at 9:10 am

I and him of almost 5 years long distance relationship. we stay apart in different country. We got to know each other from internet. Mostly we talked on Facebook messenger and WhatsApp. We can meet in person once a year. Sometimes he visit me in my country and we take time together about a month. Sometime I fly to stay with him in his country depend on his work about 2 months.

Last year was a bit lucky that I visited him in Country and then 2 month later he fly to meet me in Thailand for the new year. But after he went back we started talking less and less until we haven’t talked for 3 months. Normally I waited him to text me first because when I text him he took time so long for replying.
Then about 2 weeks ago I started text him first but he ignored. I have waited for 2 weeks then I sent a 2nd text on his Facebook because I saw him online. I say hello to him and seems he offline right away. I got so upset then I texted him to ask why he doesn’t care to read my message of 2 weeks ago and ask him if his action mean ghosting to break up . He texted me back that the notification didn’t warn him he didn’t see my 2 weeks ago message.

I know his answer was excuse so I wrote a very long message to him. But he keep ignoring to read it. I don’t know what to do next. I know only that I should not text to bother him anymore.

Actually we planed to meet in this winter but we haven’t talk about it since last August. I am afraid that he is bored of our relationship so he tries to dump me by ghosting. I used to tell him that if he want to break up just tell me don’t disappear

I talked to his brother. His brother said last month my ex joins a website about being a host to let traveler to stay at home for free. He let 2 girls stayed in his house for 2 days and keep contact on his fb. I am so worry and afraid if he is interested a girl. She looks like his type.

This is not the first time I come to read your website and do a NC rule. I’ve tried it before and it’s work. I used it when he gone to the cave. But this time I have no idea. I sent a big message that I am not ok the he let a girl stay in his house and let he think opposite if I do the same with a guy. And if his action is trying to let me go away instead telling me break up It’s work and I gave up.

Actually I love and miss him so much and want him back. Please help me what I should do…please

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 12, 2017 at 4:44 pm

Hi Alisa,
If you haven’t talked since August, then yes, he is definitely ghosting you… 3 months of not talking is not normal.. You can still try the advice if you want to..

Sammie

December 10, 2017 at 8:27 am

It’s been 5 weeks since I BU with my ex. I’m scared that the distance makes it easier for him to move on. I find myself not hurting and missing him so much. I want him back and that is still my goal. I BU with him due to insecurities and jealousy. I didn’t try to reconcile with him and neither did he. We had a wonderful relationship. We were together for 11 months and LD for 6. Out of the success stories, What’s the longest it took to get a LDR ex back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 12, 2017 at 4:39 am

there’s no concrete number because there’s no same exact reason for every break up.. but for ldr, most of the time once the rapport is built and the distance problem is resolved, then the relationship gets stronger..

anon

November 29, 2017 at 11:03 pm

sure but what if I run in to him? He’s a bit mental.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 30, 2017 at 8:08 pm

Hi anon,

Sorry, Sure with what? What do you mean by him being mental? Is he going to hurt you? Cause a scene?

anon

November 29, 2017 at 9:49 am

Ex doesn’t want to “ever” talk or see me again. I’m blocked on everything – fb, phone, possibly email. I’m going to be in his town over Christmas. Do I let him know?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 29, 2017 at 3:07 pm

Hi Anon

If he doesn’t want to talk, letting him know looks like you’re chasing him…

Simran

November 28, 2017 at 7:52 pm

I am basically talking about my present bf.
Im refering about my ex just to inform u that the present bf helped me a lot to get over my ex. I have issues with my present long distance bf for whom im confused if i should end it or continue it.
Present bf is a good person but never gives me time. For which i feel drained thinking about it. Its not just normal buzy its more than that.
PS. He doesnt have any other girl in his life im sure.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 29, 2017 at 2:49 pm

Hi Simran,

Heal by yourself first.. It will be harder, but that’s the right way

Simran

November 28, 2017 at 7:48 pm

I have moved on from my ex now but im scared to trust anybody new.
He is my ex boyfriend’s friend so he knowd how hard that breakup was for me.
I called it off many times coz of issues n he never considered it as its ended. He always thot i was angry only n its not over.
And my real issue is that he is always buzy and cant really give me time. Late nights are not possible and so i get trust issues about what does he do all day that he cant give me an hour during the day.
I always feel like doing something big to break up with him but then i remember he is a good person n that stops me. I really cant take this coz he is never ever available during the day.
What shall i do?
Liz

November 27, 2017 at 3:02 pm

Hi Amor,
I am not sure if we are on a break or broken up as my bf wanted to break up but I told him we can talk in person about it. I asked him last week if he was seeing other girls and he said yes, so since then I have been doing NC.
Liz

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2017 at 2:10 pm

ok.. do at least 30 days nc.. be active in improving yourself and in posting..

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179 thoughts on “If You Had a Long Distance Breakup Here Is How You Get Back Together”