If You Had a Long Distance Breakup Here Is How You Get Back Together

179 thoughts on “If You Had a Long Distance Breakup Here Is How You Get Back Together”

Liz

November 27, 2017 at 12:43 am

Hi,

My bf and I have been together for 5 yrs and LDR for the past 3 yrs. We have been fighting a lot recently as both of us have been stressed with work and my bf wanted to break up in October. I told him let’s meet in person but we are both traveling for work and until then we won’t talk. He does not have any friends since he is always busy with work so he does not know that other LDR couples have similar communication issues as us. When I came a week after, he did not want to talk in person and I begged him to reconsider. The next morning, I told him to let me know when he is ready to talk in person and we haven’t been talking too much since then but we do Snapchat and I found out that he has been partying more than usual and I asked him about it last week and was a bit frustrated because he is now partying by himself almost daily and ignoring work. For the past week, I have completely been doing NC – no snapchats, nothing, and I am just working on improving myself and casually talking to other guys. He is also really quiet and private so has not contacted me and I am not sure if he will. How long do I do NC since we were so toxic, in a LDR, and I showed some behaviors of begging?
Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 27, 2017 at 8:12 am

Hi Liz,

So that means you haven’t broken up right?

Shey

November 26, 2017 at 2:29 am

Hi. My ex and I broke up after 9 mos of long distance relationship. We met 2 times this year. We were 7000 miles apart. Just this november he decided to leave me. I admit im acting childish at times because I missed him so bad. He said we cabt be a couple anymore. He told me he cancelled his flight here but when i checked, its not yet cancelled. I love him so much and I want him back. He blocked me everywhere. Facebook, whatsapp, viber. I tried to create new fb accounts to msg him but he just seen my msg and blocked me immediately. What should I do. He told my dad he needed time. Is there any chance for us? Thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2017 at 1:48 am

Hi Shey,

do you want to try the advice above?

Liz

November 25, 2017 at 12:35 am

Hi,

My bf and I have been together for 4 yrs and LDR for the past 3 yrs. We have been fighting a lot recently as both of us have been stressed with work and my bf wanted to break up in October. I told him let’s meet in person but we are both traveling for work and until then we won’t talk. He does not have any friends since he is always busy with work so he does not know that other LDR couples have similar communication issues as us. When I came a week after, he did not want to talk in person and I begged him. The next morning, I told him to let me know when he is ready to talk in person and we haven’t been talking too much since then but we do Snapchat and I found out that he has been partying more than usual and I asked him about it last week and was a bit frustrated because he is now partying by himself almost daily and ignoring work. For the past week, I have completely been doing NC – no snapchats, nothing, and I am just working on improving myself and casually talking to other guys. He is also really quiet and private so has not contacted me and I am not sure if he will. How long do I do NC since we were so toxic, in a LDR, and I showed some behaviors of begging?
Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 27, 2017 at 8:12 am

Hi Liz,

So that means you haven’t broken up right?

Wiktoria

November 21, 2017 at 10:32 pm

Hello, I’m looking for advice on what should i do. A bit over a year ago, me and my boyfriend (long distance relationship) broke up due to my depression, it was getting out of control and was dragging both of us down, I had some really hard time going through the breakup but I turned it into a positive change. I’ve done everything i could to make a positive (thanks to your advices) change so that i would finally feel happy with myself. Somewhere by the end of last year we got back together and around the begging of this year my boyfriend broke up with me due to the fact that he felt like he couldn’t fully trust and connect ( i’ve never cheated or done anything to make him feel this way, quite the opposite actually), he got really close with his old friend Ellen (he tried to start a relationship with her in past but she rejected him), by the end of our relationship i’ve seen them flirt on Facebook but i had calmed myself because I was believing that maybe i misunderstood something. The two of them really bonded and i could see how they got closer and closer after the breakup, eventually both of them talked about having a relationship but agreed to “stay friends”. Few months later we got back together, explained what happened during the breakups and how it affected us, both of us are working on building trust again. I’ve tried to be ok with Ellen as his friend, we came up with different ideas how to ease it up but none of it worked for me. I feel like she’s haunting me, I often have bad dreams about her and last time they met up i broke down. It’s great between me and my boyfriend whenever she’s fully gone from surrounding (not texting with him, meeting up). I’m becoming truly miserable over everything that’s happening and i don’t want that. Is it really so bad that i want the girl he left me for, truly gone from my life?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 3:00 am

Hi Wiktoria,

nope.. he tried to pursue her before..If I were you, I wouldn’t let him in my life unless he cut ties with her.

Parker

November 21, 2017 at 2:43 am

My LD ex just broke things off with his rebound (who he began seeing shortly after me). They just went on vacation together a couple of days ago. He and I had a great conversations today…he didnt speak about getting back together but he has said he misses me and thinks we should go on a vacation that we had been planning prior to breaking up. How do I know he is over his rebound (they were together a month or two) Also, how do I find out his intentions of this trip without seeming needy? Or should I play hard to get and not take him up on the vacation?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 23, 2017 at 1:10 am

Hi Parker,

You can go but you have to let time pass to see what his further actions will be

Simran

November 19, 2017 at 12:25 pm

My boyfriend n i r together from one year now. On again off again relationship. It is a long distance relationship and we havent really met each other. He is my ex boyfriend’s friend who took care of me during my breakup with him. Our relationship has been on again off again but he never really considered the off again part. He says its u who thinks that was breakup. He has always cared for me as if i was his daughter. We had issues because he suddenly got very buzy and to make him realise what i feel in his absense i started no contact. It was roughly 3 months. Because he used to say one month staying without u isnt a big deal. I had my exams so i switched off my phone for 3 months. After that he is really sweet n caring n last week he started his journey to meet me but had to go back coz of problems at my home. I live with strict parents.
I know he is not a F***boy and i know he is a genuine guy.. he really knows worth of family and relationships. He is muslim n i am not n he says he will make me his wife even if i dont change my religion for him. He says he will support me whatever i choose. We both are 21. But sometimes due to his friends or his busy schedule (he helps his dad at work) he is not able to give me any time and whenever he calls i have my parents nearby coz he calls at night. These things makes us fight a lotttttt.. we discussed about it n he said he will try to do something about it but every single time it backfires.

My question is.. shall i continue being with this guy or shall i ask him to just be friends. Im emotionally damaged coz of the issues with him n i feel like running away from him.
Also please give me suggestions for self control.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 20, 2017 at 10:19 pm

Hi Simran,
You should move on from him totally…dont be friends with him because that’s not going to help you heal

Jenna

November 17, 2017 at 8:27 pm

My ex boyfriend dumped me when I was back home for an extended visit after losing my job. He basically said that he felt I didn’t understand him even though he had been super distant for a month. He wants to be really good friends still, it’s been two months and I haven’t spoken to him in that time. How can I reconnect and see if there’s a possibility of getting him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 18, 2017 at 3:04 am

follow this one:
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact

Jenna

November 15, 2017 at 1:57 am

My ex broke up with me 2 months ago. I had gone home for an extended visit and had an open return to come back. I had been home about a month when he started acting distant, pulling away, and then said when I came back he only wanted to be friends but wanted to keep me in his life. As a result, I stayed home because going back without him was far too painful. How do I get him back? I have not spoken to him in 2 months. I’m looking to get back in contact but need to know how to initiate it.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 18, 2017 at 2:02 am

Hi Jenna,

check this one:
The Friend Zone: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Just Wants To Be Friends

LO

November 3, 2017 at 8:04 pm

So as of a week ago my ex and I have decided to take things slow. I initiated it and he said he totally agrees we take it slow. We were talking on and off some days and he brought our sex life into a conversation and said he missed that. I told him it wasn’t really an appropriate time. He was very apologetic but he brought it up again. Earlier we had been talking about how to fix things between us. Well I had to directly ask him if he wanted to fix us as friends or he wanted more and he replied asking what I wanted. So I said I had feelings for him but things weren’t well in the relationship and being 4 hours apart idk how we could manage co parenting with an infant. I said I think taking things slow is good. He said he agrees! All week he has initiated texting first but besides that he is not putting any effort into it. I can barley talk to him because his lack of communication. I tried to address that I feel that he was being short and I was the only one trying to talk and he laughed and said I had the most awkward social skills and that he was talking like a normal person. Should I ignore him a few days or try to readdress things? I’m getting closer and closer to my due date and I told him I’d like it if he were there for the birth and he said he can do that. Maybe it’s too soon but I feel like it’s going nowhere.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 4, 2017 at 1:11 am

HI LO,

if you really want him to make an effort, don’t expect too much and let him make an effort.

Heartbroken

October 29, 2017 at 5:30 am

I am having trouble finding my first post? Same name “heartbroken”

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 30, 2017 at 7:59 pm

Hi Heartbroken,
Check this one:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Ghosted You

Heartbroken

October 27, 2017 at 4:52 am

Hello,
I have been involved with this guy that I was friends with in college. Turns out he had a crush on me but I had a boyfriend. We reconnected 6 years later on Facebook and would text and FaceTime each other for about 6-7 months. He would text me at least every other day. I went to visit him in the state he lives in and he mentioned that he wasn’t happy there and cannot move until his contract with his job is over next year. I enjoyed my visit and we did sleep together. A few weeks after I came home I noticed that it would take longer for him to reply to my messages, so I decided to ask him where this was going. I spilled my heart out and told him “I love you” , and he said “you too?” He said he didn’t want to do a long distance relationship even though he is serious about me. (I know he is seeing others) Now it has gotten to the point where he is denying my WhatsApp calls, calls, and texts. I decided to go no contact without him knowing. Today is day 5. How do I go about this? Should I move on?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 30, 2017 at 7:58 pm

Hi Heartbroken,
Check this one:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Ghosted You

LO

October 16, 2017 at 7:52 pm

So here’s an update. He txted me last night asking how he can make things better between us. I have not responded yet because a lot of emotions going on. I just don’t know how to answer yet. I’m not sure if he wants to fix us or just be on good terms for the baby. Im want to respond and my family and friends just keep telling me it’s not worth it.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 16, 2017 at 9:45 pm

You should ask him, so you can move on if needed..

LO

October 8, 2017 at 3:36 pm

My ex and I have been split up since the end of July. We were together for about a yr and the first half was long distance then I moved in with him. Since the break up I went back home so we are 4 he’s apart. Things ended very badly no fault of my own. I am 27 weeks pregnant and I have done the no contact rule which had been working. He begged me to talk to him and said he’s been through a lot and needed to talk. So I gave him the opportunity tell me what’s been going on but he has only made small talk asking how me and the baby are. How do I get him to open up about what else he needed to say?? I have been short with him because I still feel bitter for what he’s done but then opened up a little more and reached out to him in a positive way.

LO

October 11, 2017 at 1:24 pm

Thanks. Should I initiate contact or wait for him?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 12, 2017 at 12:01 pm

Yep, you can initiate contact. Check this one:
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact
Lo

October 10, 2017 at 5:15 pm

Sorry for the confusion. So he contacted me just a little before the 30 days was over. So towards the end. I didn’t break contact until after the 30 day NC.
He is living in a different state than me at a friends place I’m thinking. I have not yet engaged in asking him how he is doing or what has changed. I have not heard from him for 3 days after our short talk but I have not tried to reach out either.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2017 at 9:24 am

Ah ok…dont ask what changed.. Just start slowly building rapport…
Lo

October 9, 2017 at 11:13 am

I did the 30 days but I found out he actually was locked up for majority of that time so I don’t know if it counts. He is this one who made contact first and I was still in NC and he was begging for me to talk to him. He said he knows he messed up and is a jerk but wanted to be filled in on things.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 10, 2017 at 2:33 pm

Sorry, im still confused.. He contacted you after your 30 days nc? If yes, where is he now?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 9, 2017 at 12:16 am

Hi Lo,

How long were you in nc when you broke it?

Maren

October 4, 2017 at 7:34 pm

Hi!
So this guy and I used to date, and now he is single again. We have started to build connection again over the phone because we live in two different cities, but I would like to see him. How should I go about that? Should I ask him if I can come visit? And should I then stay at his place?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 5, 2017 at 7:54 am

That’s too much too soon.. You’re risking yourself to be friends with benefits.. If you want to meet, build enough rapport and attraction first.. And if both of you decide to meet, make it in a public placr and make it short

Sarah

September 30, 2017 at 2:46 pm

Hi.. it’s been a month since the breakup and close to 30 days since the no contact. few weeks back he unfollowed me on instragram, but i am still following him. however, just today i found out that he unfriended me on FB.. this should only just happened as it was still showing as friends the past few days. how should i contact him after the no contact period if he isnt around on those platforms? i dont know if he blocked me on the chatting application as i wont be able to tell and i have not texted him awhile..

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 30, 2017 at 10:21 pm

Hi sarah
Check this one:
EBR 002: What To Do If You Have No Way Of Talking To Your Ex

katty

September 29, 2017 at 8:07 am

great post
Maya

September 29, 2017 at 4:38 am

Hey.. Ive done no contact.. ive done it all.. he has a gf that he never mentioned to me.. we’ve had many conversations after no contact.. the majority is positive ( 90% ) .. last week though was exceptional.. things got flirty and sometimes even sexual.. but the thing is I’m always initiating the contact.. what can I do about that? And how can you flirt with someone without letting them know that you want them?
+ 2 days ago we were talking and he said he has to go for 30 minutes and he won’t forget about the subject we’re talking about.. I said okay.. he didn’t respond for about 8-9 hours later and then said I’m really sorry I just got super busy.. I said it’s okay.. and the convestation ended. what should I do about that?
Should I keep initiating contact or what?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 30, 2017 at 11:29 am

Hi Maya,
When did you do nc, how long did you do it, and how long have you been building rapport? How much did you improve during and now and how active are you in posting? Its ok that youre5 initiating as long as you’re always the one ending the conversations

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179 thoughts on “If You Had a Long Distance Breakup Here Is How You Get Back Together”