55 thoughts on “I’m In Love With My Ex Boyfriend”

1. 

   Lilly

   January 1, 2018 at 1:33 am

   Hi Amor,

   To answer your question, I had 19 days NC, then after that another 3 days NC. He has been messaging me every other day. And had been sorry the whole time. I do not want to move on. But is there still a chance? He’s been praising me of how a wonderful girlfriend I was and that I never gave him problems, that it was all him, and his cheating (he did it once, 2 years ago, for 2 weeks). There’s somewhat finality in his words that I would meet a new, better boyfriend. But I want him.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   January 2, 2018 at 6:28 pm

   Well it looks like you have a chance, it’s just you rushed it.. Right now, when you replied, that’s not nc anymore because he knows you’re still going to reply and he doesn’t feel that he’s really losing you because you’re still friendly… Tell him being friends is not workable for you right now and thank him for everything and then restart 30 days nc

2. 

   Lilly

   December 31, 2017 at 4:11 pm

   Hi team,

   My ex fiance has been contacting me every other day. He’s been friendly and the tension of our conversations has lessened. He has been telling me to inform him if I already have a new boyfriend, and that he’ll tell me if he already has a new girlfriend. He’s also been telling me again and again that I had been a really great girlfriend, that the problem was never me. He keeps on apologizing for hurting me and tells me that I will thank him in the future because I deserve someone who will love me as much as I give my love and I deserve someone who will not cheat on me like he did. It seems like there’s already finality in his words that he’s not having the idea of getting back together. Should I move on already or is there a way to save the relationship? I do not want to let go of him because I love him so much. I need your help.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 31, 2017 at 11:13 pm

   Hi Lilly,

   Have you done nc? If yes, how many times and how long? Because it’s either you do one last or move on.

3. 

   Bianca Lauro

   December 29, 2017 at 6:00 pm

   Hi:
   My ex boyfriend and I had started dating in October of 2015. I ended up moving to his city to be closer to him and I moved in with him in August of 2016. He broke up with me October 2016 because he thought I didn’t want to be in Beverly but it wasn’t true. I moved down the street and then we got back together 3 weeks later (he contacted me) and continued dating until March1st of 2017. He broke up with me again because he was my main source of happiness and I wasn’t taking care of myself. We got back together again on July 5th after I did no contact for a while. We were together up until just after this Thanksgiving because I want to go to medical school and he wants to stay in Beverly and not be in a relationship where I might have to go far away. I still love him but I dk what to do. I feel like he has dumped me three times now he says he still loves me and knows I love him too but says I need to be with someone who will support my decisions like medical school. Thoughts? I still live 2 streets over from him (less than 0.5 miles).

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 31, 2017 at 9:16 pm

   check this one:
   Do You Have The Same Values As Your Ex? (With Chase Kosterlitz)

4. 

   Medusa1983

   December 28, 2017 at 12:36 pm

   Me and my ex split up about 4 months ago after being together for nearly 10 years, we were engaged and were supposed to get married next year. He found a message on my phone from another guy and i admitted, that i cheated on him. He asked me why and i was honest and told him why. he stopped giving me attention started being very lazy didn’t want to go out to cinema or movies or for a walk didn’t look after himself and let himself go. He used to do martial arts and due too illness he stopped and when he was feeling better he didn’t continue. he was more on his phone playing games till 2 am in the morning then staying in bed with . Always falling asleep on the sofa and not coming to bed. getting up every day late to go work not ambitious. i could go and on and on.Since we split up he is a changed man he started doing his martial arts, started looking after himself getting up early to go to work, more ambitious again all i mentioned above he changed now. In the beginning he asked me to get back together and i said no as he didn’t make any changes. He started dating this new girl and makes a lot more effort with her then he ever has done with me. Is she a rebound i guess so. He wants to stay friends as he said im his soulmate. i want to get back because i see the changes he made and because i know i love him and cant live without him. what should i do is there any way for us getting back. His new girlfriend already said that he is hang up on me, is this a good sign for us getting back or shall i give up and move on ?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 28, 2017 at 8:12 pm

   Hi Medusa,

   yeah, that’s a good sign.. are you gong to do the no contact rule?

5. 

   Denise

   December 26, 2017 at 1:35 pm

   I was in brief, intense relationship about a year and a half ago. There were flags. No one I knew liked him. It ended rough and abrupt; he was a jerk and I dumped him, but I really liked him. A few months later, he tried to tell me he had changed, but I didn’t really believe him. That didn’t seem like enough time. I made the mistake of looking at his FB pic about a month ago and it is the same one from a trip we took a year ago. I’m not in it but I was there and this is a dude used to change his pic all the time. I’m not sure how I feel about this and how I should approach this. Thoughts?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 27, 2017 at 9:53 pm

   Hi Denise,

   If you want to see, talk to him and observe over time if he really has changed

6. 

   JJ

   December 23, 2017 at 2:37 am

   Hey Rachel,

   My ex and I broke up 9 months ago because we were under a lot of strain from mental illness and stress, and suddenly he changed his mind about what he wanted for his future. We were together 3.5 years. We were living together and the breakup was terrible. Mostly just devastatingly sad but also some yelling.

   Since then we’ve been hooking up and he decided we should stop because he needs to figure out his feelings and also wants to take a stab at dating this other woman. Before that we would see each other every 2-3 weeks where we would hang out and be intimate. I tried not to be too pushy because he said he wouldn’t consider reconciling for at least a year. But now he’s trying to go out and date this other woman. Also he says he wants very much to be friends.

   Throughout this time I’ve done a lot of self improvement and generally I feel happy and everyone can see the change in my attitude. I’m doing fun things and feel really good at work most of the time. I’ve been applying the methods of communicating that EBR recommends, push pull and trying to make my conversation exciting and interesting.

   I felt like we were really starting to reconnect before he dipped. Pretty much everyone just tells me to move on. He lied a lot and didn’t take care of himself leaving me to manage the house and both of our emotions. In my head I think I should just move on but I can’t get past this feeling that we could be so great together – we get along great and care about each other a lot, and share the same values and outlooks on the world.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 26, 2017 at 5:18 pm

   Hi,

   Right now, you’re friends with benefits..Check this one:
   EBR 006: How To Turn Friends With Benefits Into A Relationship2015/02/22 What Are My Ex Boyfriends

7. 

   SOS

   December 22, 2017 at 10:06 pm

   When me and my ex are building rapport should it feel like we are just friends? When we talk conversation just flows and never awkward. At first I was really happy thinking we were building rapport. But as time goes by I get more and more worries that he only sees me as a platonic friend and that I’ve been friend-zoned. What do u guys think?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 26, 2017 at 4:50 pm

   At first, you have to attraction to as time goes by.. That’s why you need to move from text to calls and to meet ups

8. 

   Dangermouse

   December 21, 2017 at 9:53 pm

   I need advice, urgently. My boyfriend broke up with me claiming he cannot / will not ever be able to accept I had a previous relationship with someone he grew up with.. and this was 6 months of hot and heavy, extremely emotional , intense romance with no fights – with MY BEST FRIEND. yes – we have known each other five years, friends first, then confessed our mutual undying crushes and off we went til the intensity really began to make him push/pull/ disappear and start having doubts..
   Long story short he devastated me by announcing he gave up on us and somehow overnight (?) got a girlfriend to replace me too.. I initiated no contact ten days , but he contacted me asking to deliver my daughter’s Christmas gift. At that time he repeatedly stopped himself from talking to look away and sigh ‘I really miss you ‘ between his insistences he was sorry but he’d never feel safe with me ( believing I could either fool around with my ex or use him to make my ex jealous ) .. Then told me he intended to get the tags and insurance on my car. I didn’t want the help from him at all – I want nothing from him but respect and better than THIS – but there is no denying I need it or I won’t be able to go back to school. I had to accept the help – with comments that were downright insulting – him claiming he never really loved me, exaggerating how long we’d been together, being cocky and cruel knowing I was still reeling from the shock of seeing a girl texting him and being told there was already someone else ..
   Well Immediately resumed no contact even with my license and paperwork in his possession when I realized he was doing this to alleviate his guilt and bad karma, not as a thoughtful gesture .. It’s been three days and he’s been texting me about getting my tags .. And now he is offering me more help. He has a small project for me related to his business that would help me pay some bills – but I don’t want his help. After all, getting to a low point is no doubt what killed his attraction and he has to see me as needy and dependent – why would I want to enable him to reinforce this negative image of me?? But then again – he gets so angry if I refuse his help – I only accepted the offer for the tag because he said if I didn’t answer and acknowledge he cared or he wouldn’t bother to do this that I could go screw myself ?.. I didn’t want to accept anything under such terms but the standard advice rarely applies as this was a friend that confessed he’s loved me for five years – wanting to get me away from my abuser – now that I’m free he somehow views the situation I ran from as a threat to him .. Something that entices me to return .. It’s preposterous . Anyway – I don’t want to make a mistake here. Do I accept the help – or do I continue to ignore him ( after all – if I accept the help – I’d do so failing to defend myself or respond to all the horrible , deliberately hurtful things he said and I want to stand my ground and demonstrate I won’t tolerate that from him – not for anything .) please help.. Respond or keep silent ??

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 25, 2017 at 9:45 pm

   Sorry, correct me if I’m wrong. You owe him for paying up for the tags and insurance of your car? If yes, find a way to negotiate with him that you will pay up for in due time, get a witness, and better if it’s in writing and don’t accept help from him anymore and move on.. He’s abusive..

9. 

   Torn

   December 21, 2017 at 8:27 pm

   I’ve commented on this on another post, but I’m in the category of me and my boyfriend have been broken up for a year or so, but I still love him and after using some techniques from this website, he eventually admitted he loved me still and missed everything we use to do, whilst he currently has a girlfriend right now. We talked, hung out like old times and it was great until his current girlfriend found out and he basically said we shouldn’t talk for a while until things calmed down. It’s been about a month now since we last talked and I found out he’s now engaged to her even though he said to me he loved me and was planning on leaving his current girlfriend to start a fresh with me. I can’t make head space of it and need some guidance. Any help?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 25, 2017 at 9:07 pm

   Hi Torn,

   since when did you start talking? For me, you should move on..