You have broken up with your ex-boyfriend and are probably wondering if he is thinking about you, whether he misses you, if has he forgotten you and why he hasn’t text you.
You might be questioning why he is acting strange and considering if it is pointless to even try to get your ex back. Things are rarely pointless and to explain why this article is going to talk you through it
- Your situation
- The emotional roller coaster
- How men deal with breakups
When a couple breaks up, it is a confusing and painful time for both parties but more often than not one person is left suffering more, and that is the first area we are going to talk about.
Your situation
There are three key factors involved in identifying if your ex-boyfriend is still thinking about you and to what extent.
The first is how long you were together, it might seem obvious but the longer you were together the more he is going to think about you after a breakup.
If you were with someone for several years, then your ex will miss you more than a relationship that lasted only a few weeks.
That’s not to say your ex will not miss you at all if you had a brief relationship, however you should be mindful that a sense of infatuation is easier to overcome than deeper feelings of love.
The next important factor to talk about is who initiated the breakup. Generally speaking, the breakup is easier for the person who initiated the breakup.
This is due to a number of different reasons.
- They accepted the idea of being alone BEFORE the breakup.
- They are less invested in the relationship than the other party, hence the breakup.
- They likely have other distractions such as work or school that contributed to the breakup.
I would say there is perhaps one exception where your ex may miss you more than you miss him even if they initiated the breakup….. this exception is if you were caught cheating on them.
If this is the case your ex-boyfriend will miss you but those feeling will also be tainted with anger and hurt by what has happened.
The final factor in establishing if your ex is thinking about you is how long it has been since the breakup.
Your no-contact period will do wonders to make your ex miss you…. This is because you actually have to disappear for someone to miss you, you don’t miss people when you hear from them all the time.
At the start of your no-contact period your ex will not miss you much but as you progress towards the end he will miss you and think about you more and more.
We know on average it takes an ex-boyfriend around 60 days to get over a breakup. Your ex will tend to think about you the most around the 21-45 day mark after the breakup. For this reason, the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery plan recommends you do around 21-45 days no contact. Beyond that point in time, the closer you get to the 60-day point the less your ex is going to be thinking about you.
After 60 days your ex is likely to be over the breakup but you can re-attract him back to you, there is still a possibility that you can win him back.
Now that we have discussed the rough magnitudes of scale when it comes to your ex-boyfriend missing you, I want to move on to the next area which explains how his thoughts and feelings towards you will change as time passes
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
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Recently I touched on the concept of being on an emotional roller coaster after a breakup. This idea is based upon something called the Kubler-Ross curve of grief.
After a breakup a person experiences similar feelings of loss as grieving, so using this is particularly relevant to a breakup scenario.
When a couple breaks-up both people go through the same spectrum of emotions in the same order as can be seen in the diagram below.
This diagram shows the whole range of feelings a person goes through during a breakup.
There are 7 different feelings your ex-boyfriend will go through, each with its own unique set of characteristics. Sometimes a person can flip flop between the boundaries of stages but a person would never go from the end of the roller coaster to the beginning again.
Shock
This is a feeling of numbness or a kind of emotional paralysis where a person might not feel anything other than a sense of surprise. It can last from a few hours to a few days.
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This is that period soon after the breakup where you convince yourself that everything is fine and that the situation will go back to normal, perhaps you think that your ex will pick up the phone and ask to get back together as though it was only a misunderstanding. You may even avoid telling people about your breakup in-case the situation is remedied quickly.
Anger/Blame
Not everyone experiences anger or blame on the emotional rollercoaster but it is common.
This can either be anger at your ex or with yourself. During this stage, an ex-boyfriend can sulk or lash out at you or other people, often with a subsequent apology. It is usually paired with finding ways to blame you for causing the break-up…. Often stating you drove him to break up with you by something you did.
This stage of anger and blame can last a couple of weeks or more and there are several articles on the website to help you deal with an angry ex-boyfriend.
Bargaining
This is the time after the breakup where you try to cut a deal with your ex. Perhaps you promise them you will change and things will be different.
This usually manifests itself with begging or pleading.
Sometimes this might even be bargaining with yourself or God or fate that your breakup is temporary.
Depression/Regret
This stage involves an overwhelming sense of sadness and loneliness as you would expect and is a normal part of a breakup. It is now, that your ex-boyfriend realizes the magnitude of the situation and the breakup.
This stage also involves feelings of guilt and regret for the things that may have been said or done before or after the breakup. Often a person will wish they had done things differently and long for an opportunity to turn back the clock.
The stage of depression and regret is the point at which your ex-boyfriend will miss you and think about you the most. It usually occurs around the 21-45 day mark and coincides with the end of your no-contact period.
Trying to move on
This is the point at which a person starts to experiment with being single, they start to feel ready to recommence a new life. This might involve taking up a new hobby, making new friends, finding a new job etc.
This stage is about figuring out what life is supposed to look like now you are single again.
Acceptance
The last stage of the emotional rollercoaster is acceptance. At this point, your ex-boyfriend will realize that life is probably not going to be the same again but has hope that life will be ok.
Now there are some slight differences in the roller coaster depending on who ended the relationship. The stages of shock and denial come before the breakup for the initiator and if your ex broke up with you…. that means him.
Why is this?….. Well before someone breaks up with you, they tend to think about it for days, weeks even months beforehand, just to make sure they are 100% certain they want to end the relationship. This means that if your ex was the one to break up with you, the shock factor of the breakup isn’t there and the denial stage has often been surpassed as they tried to make the relationship work before leaving…… It makes sense when you think about it.
When you look at where your ex (blue line) is on this second chart compared to you (orange line), you will see that he has already started the rollercoaster before you broke up and you are in fact trailing behind him.
Don’t worry because this is not a problem, men and women tend to heal at a different pace but things eventually synchronize up. Try not to panic that your ex seems to be racing away, as you will soon catch up.
How men deal with breakups
Many of you might be wondering if your ex is thinking about you and going through an emotional roller coaster as he seems fine.
A man’s way of coping with a breakup is different to how a woman would deal with it.
You might be considering how he can appear to move on so fast after your breakup…..It may surprise you to hear that even if your ex appears to be moving on extremely quickly, he is still thinking about you.
Here is a list of the different methods men will use to try and get over a breakup. Pay close attention as they can help you identify where about your ex-boyfriend is in the recovery process.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
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A lot of you will find this really frustrating and wonder why your ex-boyfriend can’t just communicate like an adult.
Men aren’t encouraged to talk out their problems and deal with how they are feeling. Men learn that the “done thing” is to bottle it up and internally manage their problems.
Often it can seem like your ex is over the breakup because they are ignoring you. In fact, the act of ignoring someone is a sign of anger. Holding onto a grudge is an active decision that takes energy and as such, that means your ex still has feelings for you.
Is it a bad thing that your ex is holding a grudge?…… Well, it’s obviously not ideal but the fact your ex is actively holding a grudge means he still has feelings for you and is thinking about you.
When someone is over a breakup they have no unresolved feelings, they feel indifferent, it is indifference that is the opposite of love…. So in a weird way, sulking is a sign he still cares.
Silence
When women go through a break up they have an amazing group of friend’s that they can call on for advice and support.
For men it’s a little different, at best they might be able to confide in their best friend. The advice he will receive is most likely to be to move on, especially if it has been more than a couple of weeks after the breakup.
Occasionally men will seek advice from their female friends but again this does not last beyond the first couple of weeks generally
For a man, there is a need to maintain their sense of masculinity and an appearance of self-control after the breakup. This limits the level of advice and support an ex-boyfriend can call upon after a breakup, because of this your ex-boyfriend may have to endure the breakup in relative silence.
Not being able to work through the breakup actually makes it HARDER for your ex-boyfriend to move on and stop thinking about you.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizStubbornness
Even if your ex-boyfriend is thinking about you constantly that doesn’t necessarily mean he is going to contact you.
Why?….. there are several reasons.
Your ex will not want to look weak and reach out first.
He wants you to chase him
He has made a decision and feels he needs to stick to it
He doesn’t think you have changed
Rather than contact you, an ex-boyfriend is more likely to sit and wait for you to text him and wonder why you are not chasing after him during the no-contact period.
Exercising His Freedom
After a breakup you might see your ex-boyfriend turn into a party animal. It may seem like he is having the time of his life, maybe he is out drinking all the time and hanging out with girls.
Your ex does this to prove to you that he can have a great time as a single guy, the problem is that your ex-boyfriend will quickly discover that partying all the time will not help him to overcome how he feels after the breakup.
Exercising his freedom serves a few purposes, it helps him prove that you have no control over him, it can also be used to make you jealous or even hurt your feelings.
A man tends to exercise his freedom the most in the lead up to the depression stage. This is because the permanence of his singledom has not yet set-in and he has not felt the full force of loss after the breakup.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
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Lashing out
You may well find your ex-boyfriend lashing out at you after the breakup, being mean or saying hurtful things.
This can also include your ex being mean, hurtful or aggressive towards other people in his life.
This lashing out is caused by an inability to effectively deal with floods of emotions, and eventually, the stress of this bubbles over into arguments and fighting.
An ex-boyfriend is mostly likely to lash out at you or other people between the stages of denial and depression.
Beards and underpants
I know it can sound like a bit of a cliché but women can eat chocolate and ice cream when they are sad. They can go get a manicure, or talk things through with their friends. Women can have a make-over or indulge in a bit of retail therapy…. All fantastic ways to make you feel better when you are depressed.
The male equivalent of this is growing a beard and sitting at home in underpants watching TV. This is another way to both exercise freedom from your control as you aren’t around to nag him anymore.
The beards and underpants stage can also be a sign that he is struggling to look after himself without you and is feeling depressed.
The beards and underpants behavior can occur right up to and including the depression and regret stage.
Ego Boosting
After a breakup a man’s ego takes a bit of bashing and a man will want some female validation to lift his ego, this is to make him feel attractive and like a man again. This can range from flirting online with lots of girls to one night stands or rebound relationships.
If your ex-boyfriend is talking to other girls and dating again this can often be a sign of missing you.
Your ex may be using other girls as a way to distract himself from thinking about you and also to lift his spirits now he doesn’t have you around anymore. If your ex has a new girlfriend within the six weeks of your breakup then this is most likely to be a rebound relationship.
These tend to be short-lived, during his rebound your ex will hit pause on the rollercoaster ride of emotions as the new girl will act as a temporary distraction but once the rebound is over your ex will return to the roller coaster.
Will your ex still think about you when he is with the new girl?…. yes, everything she does will be compared to you, in fact having a rebound can actually make your ex miss you MORE.
Working out
Hitting the gym is often a guy’s go-to coping mechanism when trying to get his life back on track. It’s a good way to work off those feelings of anger, sadness, and loneliness.
If your ex is spending a lot of time in the gym then it is likely that he is missing you. Going the gym helps improve his self-esteem and boost his ego whilst also providing a useful distraction from his feelings. Working out tends to happen after the depression stage and last right through until the end of the rollercoaster.
What Does It All Mean
It’s reasonable to say that your ex is thinking about you after your breakup. The more interesting questions are “How much is he missing me?” and “When is he thinking about me?”.
The best place to start figuring out the answers is by thinking about how long you were together, how long you have been apart and who initiated the breakup. This should help you establish how much he misses you.
To figure out when he thinks about you, have a look at the emotional rollercoaster and try to guess where he is. If you are struggling look at how men deal with breakups to get an indication of where he might me in the recovery process. This will give you a good indication of when he is thinking about you and how is feeling about you right now.
Mary
April 8, 2022 at 12:53 am
Hi,
I dated with guy for one month! I started liking him! He told me he does want only short relationship and he feels I want seriouse relation! We left each other and no contact for two weekes! How can cause he miss me and come back to me!
Confused
November 23, 2021 at 4:28 pm
I had a boyfriend that I loved very much when I was 21… we broke up and continued to string each other along for 7 yrs. At the end of the 7 years, we spoke over the phone and closed the chapter. I moved on and didn’t talk to him for 8 years. I just reached out to him via email recently and he responded and told me he wants to meet and have coffee to catch up or FaceTime if I don’t live near… gave me his number and said text anytime. But he won’t tell me about his life at all until we meet up or FaceTime. He won’t even chat over the phone and barely responds to my texts. He also said he did think about me (like “what I was up to”). Am I missing something? I have no idea what’s happening right now ♀️
-Confused
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
November 29, 2021 at 8:31 pm
Hey there, it is interesting how he will not tell you about his life unless you meet up. I would go to the meet up but make sure it is a popular area, so he suddenly tells you he is in a relationship or married etc then it gives you a window to leave sharpish.
Maryam Moradi
August 11, 2021 at 8:17 am
Hi,I’m maryam from Iran, and I’m in a long distance relationship by a french guy, we are almost 3 years together. These days I’m not in a good situation and I sent a lot of messages to took emotional attention from him. But he got angry and told me you pissed me off, so don’t contact with me and I’ll be who I contact with u.now I wanna know if he come back again to me or he broke up with me.please help me, I like him very much. Thank you. Maryam
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 1, 2021 at 9:13 pm
Hi Maryam, be sure that you allow some space between you, I would suggest that you reach out after 30 days NC
Lisa
July 12, 2021 at 5:40 am
Hello Am Lisa from England I was with my bf for 3 years now I broke up with him after one month we talked about the future we had planes to be together but he suddenly changed and he started angery in every little things he don’t want to talk to me or get me my best friend tried her best to contact him but he refused I did a lot of mistakes but it isn’t the time to break up
Now am thinking about he starts a new relationship with someone and I think he compared me with her before we brokeup so what can i do about it
Abandoned
May 29, 2021 at 10:25 pm
What about when kids are involved? How does the no contact rule work? We’ve just recently broken up after 6 years together. We have 2 young daughters together. He has moved out. So obviously there will be contact about time with the kids. Will this make him not miss me?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 1, 2021 at 6:46 pm
Hey there, you need to follow the limited no contact. There is an article to explain how the LNC works and what you need to be doing.
Distraught
October 10, 2020 at 7:47 am
My bf asked me to go do ‘soul searching’ to figure out what went wrong (in our relationship).
I asked him are we still s couple then? He said if it is not he would hv told me (that means still a couple).
So we left it as it is and I left the table.
Now, I don’t know how long is this ‘soul searching’ going to be. .
What should I do?
NB. During the course of this talking ourt, he was very angry that day. Saying I didn’t give him respect by turning up to see him all the time without him knowing. I know I did wrong on this part. There are other parts in the relationship that he is pretty sensitive too.
In the text he even said “STOP’ ‘Don’t beg…….”, “Very disappointing….’, ‘I don’t expect to he a father in a relationship’…’ up till now you don’t even know what you are apologising for….tats even more disappointing.” Etc etc..
What should I do? If cannot be together, then what I want is to still have an open line of communication with him..and not like now when there is total silence on both sides…
I want to be the ‘bigger person” …
What is your advice ?
Thanks
Distraught
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 22, 2020 at 8:10 pm
Hey there, I would say that you need to reach out to your partner after a few days to keep in the loop, but if you really need to work on yourself then you should follow the same rules of limited no contact for 21 days before trying to spend time with him again properly
Michelle
September 29, 2020 at 7:28 pm
I was single for 5 years after my divorce (was married for 15 years). I met a great guy, he seemed too good to be true. We had an immediate connection on all levels. He enhanced my life. We were dating for a short 2 months and I felt myself falling hard and fast for him. I panicked and told him I don’t think I could do this. I immediately regretted my rash decision but he took me at my word. I miss him so damn much, but I have lived my life like i did before him. I just want another chance with him
Caitlin
July 28, 2020 at 3:51 am
My ex fiancé of 6 1/2 years broke up with me 2 months ago. We have a daughter and I’m pregnant with our son. We fought a lot and kicked him out so he said he got sick of the fighting. He won’t talk to me about how he feels he avoids. Just talks to me about the kids that’s it. He acts like he don’t care about me like I don’t exist. I’m so heartbroken. Does he even miss me?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
July 31, 2020 at 4:15 pm
Hi Caitlin I am sure he will miss you but emotions are getting the better of the both of you right now. You can use this time to look at your relationship and try to teach yourself how to communicate better with each other so that you do not argue and fall out over things as much. I do think you can fix this but following the program is key to show your ex you are serious about making positive changes.
Max
June 5, 2020 at 8:10 pm
I’ve been single for almost 5 years. I met a guy and I finally let him in although we didn’t have sex and I ended it. I still miss him. He lied to me about his relationship he is married. He tells me that he missed me and he’s sorry and I know I have to let it go because it will never work out. Why am I still not over him, he is a good looking bloke very charming and romantic. I’m not bad looking myself and I know if I wanted to have a guy in my life I can. But this guy has ruined it for other ppl now I just can’t trust another man. I havnt spoken to him In a few weeks. I’ve gone out still living life as if it hadn’t changed. I say good luck to him and his wife but I’m still thinking of him I want to stop thinking about it.
Stephanie
May 20, 2020 at 8:31 pm
My boyfriend and I were only together for 3 months. I know it’s not very long but I really did care for him. He is 32 and I am 31. He likes to go out with his friends all the time and is a big drinker. That definitely cut into times we were suppose to spend time together. Anytime he was out with his friends he would completely disappear and I said something to him and he said he would work on it. And he did it again. So I just ignored him and we haven’t spoken in a week. I really don’t know what to do. I want to talk to him but also feel like it’s a good time to just close the door. I don’t think he is ready for anything. But I do miss him. What do you suggest? I did ignore him when he reached out after disappearing all night. Should I initiate contact or just let it be? Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 7, 2020 at 11:24 am
Hi Stephanie, I agree that if you have told him that it upsets you that he disappears and continues to do it. No Contact is the right decision because if you remain in this cycle of telling him you do not like it but stay with him its never going to change. Stick with a 30 day No Contact and reach out after with the texting suggestions that Chris has if you want to try and get him back. However if he sees no issue with his behavior it is not going to change.
LISA L LONG
April 12, 2020 at 2:41 am
Thank you so very much for your help and support. Losing a boyfriend is hard.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 12, 2020 at 7:07 pm
Hi Lisa thank you for your comment, it can be hard but know you deserve to be happy and focus on yourself and you will be feeling better in no time <3
Melissa Williams
February 25, 2020 at 11:12 pm
My fiancee and were high school sweet heart for 1 years and we split, and 3 years after he got married. Before his divorce was final he decided to come back to our home land. We ended up dating again because he never fell out of love with me, whe started to get intimate and when his divorce was finalized we got pregnant with the little girl he want from me from years back(at the time we weren’t intimate though). Upon getting pregnant he left me but quickly came back(he get the pregnancy symptoms and I dont). We were together until 2 years after he got jealousy of someone I spoke to as just a friend. It took 6 weeks for him to take me back. Since then today we have never had drama just disagreements and quickly got over it all.
2 weeks ago from today my dad threw him out disrespectfully and insulted my boyfriend, bearing in mind that my boyfriend was his right hand man. Now because of how my father treated him he wants nothing to do with me and I found iut 2 day after this drama that i am pregnant. He wants me to get rid of it and up to the day before the drama he wanted a child by me.
Me and our daughter now cries because it is hurtful that he only comes for her to carry her to school and gives me money to help with her.
Up to today I happen to was into and icecream parlor and he was in there sitting I just and said good morning never expect he would be there. He is eyes started to fill with water as he was already sad when I saw him.
He says to me a week after the break up it was because I never wanted to leave my dad’s house before. I tried to leave since the break up but he doesn’t want me to leave my dads place he want me to humble and stay with my dad and make things good between my dad and I.
I love my fiancee and I miss him dearly, we were going to get married and so forth.
Now he wants no connection with me.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 3, 2020 at 9:49 pm
Hi Melissa. Read the program and apply the information to your situation, I would also try to explain to your father how you feel
Ashley
July 19, 2019 at 5:42 pm
My boyfriend and I dated for 2 years :/ he broke up with me over text and told me things were no longer the same. I continued to text him for a few days after the breakup and he told me he doesn’t want me out of his life and he will always have love for me in his heart and continued to tell me that he wants me as his best friend.. a couple days later he was with another girl. It’s been a month now and he is still with the girl and we have not spoken besides one message I sent him that he never responded too. I just wonder how he seems perfectly fine while I’m still hurting over it.
Chris Seiter
July 19, 2019 at 8:03 pm
Hi Ashley….sometimes an ex can give that appearance that everything is just fine. But often it’s not and they are masking their feelings or are in some form of denial. What matters is if you have an sensible ex recovery plan. Take a look at my complete Program I call, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro Bundle”
Samantha
June 17, 2019 at 10:55 pm
Hello,
My ex-boyfriend and I are 45. We had fulfilling and kind amorous relationship for over a year. For many months, there was something truly beautiful between us with an emotional and physical connection that I have not had before.
Then he lost his job. He sobbed when he told me because he said he would have to move and would have to leave me. Our relationship did not change for about 6 weeks, until he went for job interviews on the other side of the country.
On February 28th, upon his return from a job interview, he turned off our emotional connection. There was a radical switch, and yet he wanted me with him constantly.
He ended up taking a job three hours away, which I feel is doable. He hates his new job. We talk every night, but he does not text anymore. He does not say he misses me. The last two times I went for the weekend, we had no physical contact and he was cold (except when he was sleeping with his arms tight around me.) He is experiencing some sexual issues and is depressed. (We have already covered this topic in detail and he has been to the dr.)
Our relationship has been declining rapidly. He has been saying that we are in a visitorship, and not a relationship. He has not given me an answer to my suggestions for upcoming weekends together. He has been increasingly colder. He is talking about quitting this job and moving again, quite far away.
He is suffering in his current job, but now I am suffering. I tried everything to be supportive and salvage the beautiful thing we had, to no avail. I have been so sad.
So, I told him that this relationship is not making me happy anymore. I am not getting what I need: attention, affection, and an emotional connection. I reminded him that I have been unwavering in my love for him, but that I want to be happy. I can not wake up in the morning with my first thought being for someone, or got to bed with my last thought of the day being for someone who is not « in. »
He replied that his job is terrible. He is stressed. He is depressed. He said that there is only so much of him, and that he can’t be on all fronts. I replied that I am very sorry to hear that, but I need to be happy and we should call it a day. There is no way I can convince him, or coerce him, or influence him, or charm him into giving me the little bit that I need.
When we were done our talk he asked
« So are you coming here this weekend? »
Wait what?
So, I went through it all again…this relationship is not making me happy anymore despite the love I feel for him and that we should call it a day. He said that losing his job and moving got it the way. He said our relationship was truly wonderful while it lasted.
I love him. He cares for me, I’m sure of that. But I will not be in a relationship that has made me increasingly unhappy over the past 4 months.
So, my question for you is: is there a chance that he may miss me enough to make the effort to try to get back the connection we had?
And, did he actually end it with me in his mind all the way back in February, but let this drag on until I ended it officially?
If so, who broke up with whom? Who is the orange line and who is blue? Where are we each on the chart?
Thank you
Samanths
Saba
June 10, 2019 at 1:22 am
Hi,
My bf and I were together for 8 months before he suddenly broke up with me. The relationship was full of ups and downs and miscommunication from both sides. It was a very loving relationship but had some not so pretty moments. It was ultimately a very minor issue that lead to the breaking point. I was under the impression it was just another fight and I had gotten heated and said some harsh things. Throughout the final argument he was still trying to keep us together and tell me it was minor. The next day when I cooled down and wanted to talk it over he said “I thought you said you were done?” And he was done. Cut all ties and said it was over. It’s been two months and he hasn’t reached out at all. He was always the one trying to make it work and saying everything was good we were fine. Our families had met and it was leading up to marriage. It was such a shock to my heart to watch him walk away. He used to say “once a relationship is over, I never go back”.
Can I assume it’s over for good?
Sab
June 10, 2019 at 1:19 am
Hi,
My bf and I were together for 8 months before he suddenly broke up with me. The relationship was full of ups and downs and miscommunication from both sides. It was ultimately a very minor issue that lead to the breaking point. I was under the impression it was just another fight and I had gotten heated and said some harsh things. Throughout the final argument he was still trying to keep us together and tell me it was minor. The next day when I cooled down and wanted to talk it over he said “I thought you said you were done?” And he was done. Cut all ties and said it was over. It’s been two months and he hasn’t reached out at all. He was always the one trying to make it work and say everything was good we were fine. It was such a shock to my heart to watch him walk away. He used to say “once a relationship is over, I never go back”.
Florence
May 5, 2019 at 7:25 pm
My boyfriend and I split up 2 months ago after 3 years together. We have been in contact regularly since the break up but no progress in terms of getting back together. Is it too late to start NC? Has he had his 60 days to get over me already or will he now need to break habbit of contact with me so worth starting? I have your book but am confused on this point.
Chris Seiter
May 6, 2019 at 4:02 am
Hi Florence! Sometimes it best to change one’s strategy if things are not working out. You say you have been in regular contact but things are not progressing. I think employing No Contact and do all the things I discuss in my Program for yourself and for the relationship is a good course of action.
Beth
April 24, 2019 at 7:51 am
I’m coming up to 5 weeks of being broken up with and immediately did the NC rule, he still hasn’t texted me. During this time he has illegally (we r still in high school) gotten drunk and vaped – partied heaps. He has also flirted with these three girls that were always trouble within our relationship; he also used to say he didn’t like them and is now super close with them and flirts with them; and has done it infront of me. I’m just really confused because the day of and days before we broke up he seemed more into me than ever and we were so so happy together. When we broke up he told me it was because I was too controlling, but I believe I wasn’t – I just got weird whenever he talked to one of those three girls because of previous issues. I would love to have him back but I don’t know if he’s into me or not? And he still hadn’t texted me ://
Pauline
April 15, 2019 at 10:34 am
Hi, My ex bf split up with me 2 wks ago. He moved to London 3 months ago after living with me for 4-5 months (we had an argument so he left and moved to London) we got bk together as he was saying we could work things out. He recently got a job in London and now its hard. So just over 2 wks ago he stayed with me before starting his job anyways his plan was to stay till the wkend but he also had plans to see his mate in a dif city. So work phoned to start work early so he went back to London. I spoke to him that night and was asking him will he be going to see his mate the wkend and he sed prob so I thought well can you come see me before him obviously it went to a heated argument I was saying your not bothered, I shouldn’t be asking u to come see me u should want to see me, do u actually want to be with me. Then because I moan a lot and he just got bk to London he said Ive only just bk to London after seeing you and your already arguing, maybe its best we leave it.
So I replied don’t ever call me again. and now I aint spoke to him.
He has been going out clubbing every wkend but he hasn’t put it on social media ive seen it through his mates. He can make an effort to go out with his mates but not see me.
Do you think he moved on and enjoying his single life? Is he actually thinking of me after 6 years of being together?
Chris Seiter
April 15, 2019 at 2:25 pm
HI Pauline….so its not easy for anyone to just leave six years in the back of their mind. Take look at my Program as to how to proceed!
Els
April 7, 2019 at 4:50 pm
My boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me a week ago. Somewhere in October last year I tested as always and found out I was HIV positive. He lived 3 hours away from me but we would see each other at least once to two times a month. We were pretty much in love and had no problems. In November when he visited I told him about my status and even asked him to go for a test. He told me he was afraid but will go when he is ready. He was stressed but I thought he was gonna be fine. In December he visited and looked fine. We were not intimate as his leg was painful due to the incident I knew of not knowing that he has started of being afraid to be intimate with me. I did not suspect anything as I trusted him. In January he told me he wasn’t taking all that well and he decided we should take a break, we kept on having conversations during the break. In the beginning of March this year he got employment and moved to another province, I thought he everything was fine until he told me he tested and was negetive. Later that day he texted me saying he’s sorry his heart is no longer in our relationship. I was hurt by that and called him back, suggested that he educated himself more about the virus and asked him to meet up the following weekend and said he will get back to me. The following day I decided to call him and he did not answer, sent him texts but still did not get back to me. I’m left with answered questions of whether he did love me or not or whether he’s sad about this whole ordeal. Should I continue trying to get hold of him as I’m worried and still love him or not.