Today we’re going to take you through the top 5 signs that your ex is trying to make you jealous, so you know exactly what to look for.
In fact:
These are the top real life signs that our clients have reported back to us.
Let’s dive right in.
- Your ex brags about his new girlfriend or the dates he’s going on everywhere he can
- Posting on social media about how awesome his life is without you in it
- Talking to you directly about how happy he is without you
- Posting or sending pictures of his body trying to get you to comment
- Asking your advice on the “new girl”
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizSign #1: Your Ex Brags About His New Girlfriend Everywhere He Can
A common theme among almost all these signs is social media – what your ex posts, how frequently they post, and what their posts mean.
If your ex has moved on or gone on the rebound and they keep posting pictures of dates with this new person shortly after a breakup, it’s usually a sign that they’re just trying to make you jealous.
Now simply posting pictures isn’t necessarily the sign here; the frequency of their posts matters a lot too.
Let’s go back in time for a minute and look at your relationship: how often was your ex posting during the relationship? If they weren’t posting very often and all of a sudden after this breakup they’re posting a lot more frequently, there’s a good chance it’s all for show to make you jealous.
One under looked fact about this specific jealousy sign is whether your ex is actually on a casual rebound or they’ve truly moved on.
So if your ex breaks up with you and then immediately moves on to someone else, the timing indicates that this is more than likely a rebound relationship.
But if they broke up with you, waited a year, and then moved on to someone else, all of a sudden, it’s not so much of a jealousy ploy, and there might be some authentic feelings between the two of them.
Sign #2: Posting On Social Media About How Awesome Life Is Without You
This is something I see quite a lot within our private Facebook support group.
We have people asking what it means if their ex keeps posting about how great their life is. Honestly, we’ve seen it so often we’re almost certain it’s an indicator that your ex is trying to make you jealous.
So how does this work?
Now this sign is a little bit different than sign number one. Sign one was all about making you jealous through a new girl, whereas this is about bragging how great their life is without you regardless of whether there’s a new girl in their life.
Usually, this looks like a lot of partying with friends or going traveling, etc.
Of course, your ex won’t directly tag or mention you in the posts, but it’s still a subtle indirect signal that they’re doing so well without you,
So again, what you’re looking for here is not only those types of posts on social media, but you’re looking at how frequently those posts show up. Generally speaking, someone who’s being very obvious about this is going to be posting quite frequently.
Sign #3: Talking To You Directly About How Happy He Is Without You
Here on ex-boyfriend recovery, we often talk about our strategy.
It always starts with the no contact rule.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizIt then goes through the stages of the value ladder – incrementally building value and working your way up through the modes of communication from texting, calling, in-person meetups, romantic dates, to finally getting your ex back.
So the signs we’ve looked at thus far have been probably occurring during the no contact rule. You’ve made a conscious effort to ignore your ex, which can also needle them to want to make you jealous, and that stems from a fact that they want to win the breakup. This sign is different.
Usually this occurs after you get back in touch with them during the texting phase. This typically looks something like you asking your ex a casual “hey, how are you?” question, and instead of doing the usual “I’m good…” and changing the topic, they really dig into how well they’re doing. I’m talking excruciating detail about every little thing that’s going right in their life.
Sometimes they might even sprinkle in something like, “I’m so glad we decided to break up! It really helped me focus on this aspect of my life.”
This kind of behavior is usually a way to make you jealous.
Sign #4: Posting Or Sending Pictures Of His Body Trying To Get You To Comment
All right, so let’s talk about divorce for a minute. What’s really interesting about divorce is that a lot of people in marriages (or long-term relationships) tend to gain weight because they’re happy and complacent. But when they go through a divorce, they suddenly start losing all this weight and looking different.
This is an incredibly common thing proven by several studies about the psychology of divorce.
This is relevant here because while a breakup isn’t necessarily the same thing as a divorce – divorce is often a lot more difficult to get through than a simple breakup – there are some commonalities. This is especially true if your ex broke up with you because they need to feel validated in their choices.
If your ex was the one to break up with you, they need to prove that they made the right decision.
One of the best ways that they can do this, especially if they’re a man, is to go to the gym, pump some iron, lose some weight and then try to get your opinion on it…and by your opinion I mean they want you to compliment them and be jealous that you lost them.
Now usually, they’re going to be pretty subtle about this – they’re not going to just post shirtless pictures or videos. Most of the time, they’re going to send you a picture of them working out at the gym.
This can be taken a few different ways – could it be a genuine attempt to include you in their day? Maybe, but the cynic in me says it’s clearly a jealousy ploy to show how good they look after breaking up with you.
Again, they’re trying to make you jealous and trying to win the breakup at the same time. Most importantly, they’re trying to get you to comment positively about their new body. So should you give them that satisfaction? Absolutely not!
The best way to reply to an unsolicited gym pic is with an ambivalent “oh, that’s really nice” comment that shows you don’t care much, even if they’re jacked.
Sign #5: Asking Your Advice On The “New Girl”
Undoubtedly, one of the most difficult situations to be in is when you are implementing the being there method – talking to your ex as a friend when they are seeing someone else. So let’s say your ex is dating someone new, you’re both talking quiet frequently, and they end up asking for your feedback about some flowers for the “new girl.”
Regardless of how friendly you are with each other now, it’s still not appropriate for your ex to ask for your advice like that, so there’s a high chance he’s doing it to make you jealous and win the breakup. So how do you respond?
My best answer is to respond ONLY using the laughing crying face emoji because it can have different meanings:
Are you laughing at their audacity to ask you for advice on their new girlfriend?
Or do you think the flowers are ridiculous?
Your ex won’t know what you mean, and it’ll drive them crazy. If they ask for clarification, don’t respond until a few days later and avoid that topic altogether!
Conclusion:
Some exes really know how to grind your gears and make you jealous. They can even do it in a way that makes you doubt if they’re even trying to make you jealous or if it’s just random.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizThere are five main signs you want to keep an eye out for but before we get into the signs, let’s quickly clarify what an ex is trying to do when they make you jealous.
They’re trying to “win the breakup.”
Winning the breakup can mean anything from who moves on to a better partner first to who gets over the breakup and proceeds with their normal life first. Your ex, especially if he broke up with you, feels a constant need to win the breakup, and the most effective way to do it is to make you jealous. After all, they need to keep reassuring themselves that they made the right choice to leave you.
Now let’s get into the 5 signs that your ex is trying to make you jealous:
1. Bragging about his new girlfriend or the dates he’s going on everywhere he can
2. Posting on social media about how awesome his life is without you in it
3. Talking to you directly about how happy he is without you
4. Posting or sending pictures of his body trying to get you to comment
5. Asking your advice on “the new girl”
susan
March 20, 2022 at 6:05 am
I was recently over at my ex’s place he just got new neighbors he is eyeing the women of next door she has just had a baby to her partner he makes up excuses to go out the front when I am there and also he knows when she comes home for lunch and she isn’t always at work I don’t know if she is cheating on her partner or my ex is just trying to make me jealous
sandra mctearnen
February 23, 2022 at 8:06 pm
my ex is bragging about his new girl calling her babe
Confused
March 22, 2021 at 2:38 am
My ex and I have been on again-off again for almost 2 years. We are off again and he is involved with someone new and posting a lot of couples pictures on Facebook. He usually keeps his posts on Facebook to where only friends can see the posts, these posts are where anyone can see them. By the way, he started in his new relationship just 10 days after we became off again. I am thinking that this is a rebound relationship and that he is trying to make me jealous and/or to get a reaction out of me. I did react horribly (via email) when I first saw he was “in a relationship” on Facebook. I did not react to the new posts and have been in “no contact”. I am totally confused by his actions
Jenna Lunn
August 16, 2020 at 8:41 am
Been in no contact since feb after over 2years of being with him i have a good job, still single & trying to get on with my life, he on the otherhand is living with another girl who is driving about in a car of his (which he didnt have when i was with him) is he trying to make me jealous? Saw him the otherday & all he did was just stare at me like he did when we first met, dont know what to think. Help!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
August 17, 2020 at 11:20 pm
Hi Jenna, I dont think he is trying to make you jealous. It sounds as if he may have moved on. As for him staring at you, he may have been waiting to see what your reaction was to seeing him – waving hello for example
Bestiegal
July 23, 2020 at 11:49 pm
So my ex and I are still friends, more like besties. Broke up cause the long distance relationship wasn’t working and we didn’t get to see each other much too. We even talked about getting back together I future. So like a year ago he went on service and mentioned a particular girl who always disturbed him, we laughed about it and I call her his side chick, he later asked me to like and comment on this same girls contest photos on IG and YouTube, I did. Yesterday was her body he took a studio shot with her and used her on WhatsApp as his dp, it really angered me but I didn’t mention it to him. Is there really a getting back together for us cause moving on has really been difficult on my part.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
July 24, 2020 at 10:58 pm
Hey there, yes there could be a chance but you need to try and hide the fact that this other girl is bothering you right now and just focus on being Ungettable while you are trying to get him back. As for in the future, you can slowly zone this girl out if you get back together without seeming like a jealous girlfriend
Pretty
May 23, 2020 at 5:02 am
Hey Chris,
Hope I could get some help
So, I was in relationship with my ex for 1year and 6 months ( 8 months of long distance). He broke up with me 2 months back, post breakup I begged and pleaded alot for him to come back. Since it didn’t work out so after searching alot I came across your blog and straightway went into no contact of 30 days and during this No contact period I bought lot of changes within me and completed no contact.
I started texting him and to my surprise his responses were very positive and since day one he is the one who is taking initiatives to start the conversation.
He tried to make me jealous by talking about girls he would sleep with to which I didn’t react.
But again he started sending me old pictures of him with his ex. Again I didn’t react to it.
But then he told me that a girl asked him out to go for date and since I became too emotional, I reacted to this and asked him to come back to me and that I still love him.
To which he said that i am crazy and that it is impossible to have normal conversation with me.
It would really be great if you could tell me what I should do next.
I really want him back.
Hope I have not ruined my chances of getting him back much.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 7, 2020 at 10:58 am
Hey there, so if he is now dating someone else then you need to start with a 45 day No Contact and work on your Holy Trinity during this time along with the Ungettable information. With the type of things your ex has been doing he was looking for a reaction so I think going into a STRICT No Contact and using social media to show how great you are doing without him is going to have a better effect on him. Read about the being there method before reaching out to him at the end of your 45 days but again, I think he knows he can have you so you need to change that mindset, don’t be afraid to make him think you may have met someone else too
Christine
March 29, 2020 at 3:02 pm
Hi, I could use some help 🙂
So, I dated a guy long distance for 2 months, we had great chemistry and connection, he was making plans for our future… Everything seemed great until he started becoming distant and told me he thinks he wasn’t ready yet for commitment but he would like to take things slow and see where it leads us. Anyway, he didn’t make an effort, I contacted him a couple of times and then pulled away and went NC for 2 weeks. He was really happy to hear from me after that, again using pet names, even called me the next day and talked for more than an hour, mentioned we should go bungee jumping soon etc. Around that time I found out he was also dating another girl all the time he was dating me, but never mentioned it. She was still in the picture. We haven’t had contact for a month after that, until recently he texted me that he misses me, complimented me a lot… 2 days later he wished me happy Womens day with a few compliments again. Last week I wished him a happy birthday, he was trying to keep the conversation going, talking about things that made him fall in love with me and how he loves my voice and eyes, calling me pet names, again mentioning bungee jumping and how we should do it together… Then he started responding with one word answers so I left the conversation. 3 days later he became official with that other girl on facebook (my friend told me, I don’t have facebook, only instagram). Today he posted instagram story with her, which shocked me because he NEVER posted a story before, he doesn’t even watch other people stories as this is account he uses for bussiness. Do you think he is trying to make me jealous or just wants me to know he is with someone else? Why would he contact me and be all sweet and flirty just to become official with someone else 3 days after?
Thank you for your thoughts on my situation!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 7, 2020 at 11:57 pm
Hi Christine, it sounds as if he was testing the waters to see if you were open to talking to him or not. I would suggest that if you want your ex back then you complete a 45 day no contact now and then start the being there method
Bebeth
March 13, 2020 at 1:57 am
Hello,
Thank you for this article. I just want to ask something. I stalked my ex’s account and the account of the girl he is chatting (he left me for her but not yet his gf but is like that). Last week (Monday), he reacted one of the posts of the girl which he didn’t usually do. Good thing I stayed calm. Saturday last week, I changed my cover photo (which is still the 2 of us in the pic) and my profile photo. Just this Tuesday, he messaged me in whatsapp asking “How are you? I hope I am doing well” he also said their situation that they were locked up due to the pandemic virus. I responded in a friendly manner making my response shorter than his after a few hours from the time he chatted. Then he said “thank you, I wish always the best for you”. I said “I hope you too” then thats the end of our convo. Just this day, he reacted again to the one of the girl’s posts, my question is, I he (my ex) making me jealous? and want to have a reaction from me?Please advice. Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 20, 2020 at 9:28 pm
Hi Bebeth, so you need to stop watching your exes movements on social media, you also need to go into a No Contact for 30 days and you need to stick to ignoring your exs texts or phone calls the whole time. Work on your Holy Trinity and make sure that you are focusing on improving your life in all areas. Health, Wealth and Relationships (friends and family)
Amber - an over thinker
January 16, 2020 at 4:53 pm
Currently still friends with my ex but I still miss him. We haven’t really contacted each other that much except greet each other on holidays and he even sent me a video of something I like the other day. He’s on vacation right now and just posted about his family trying to hook him up with another girl. He called her cute though, is that something to worry about? I didn’t message him about it and have actually been keeping quiet on social media.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 16, 2020 at 9:57 pm
Hi Amber, no I don’t think its something to worry about as he is on holiday. If you want to re attract him then you need to look up and understand Ungettable and what it takes to be that person to your ex. And work through this during your No Contact, involves posting to social media too
Samantha Copen
January 11, 2020 at 6:30 am
I just got a drunk message from my ex boyfriend stating he thought I should know he’s slept with someone else, he’s not sorry about the break up, he loved me and will always love me, he’s truly over me, and he’s sorry if I’m not accepting the break up? We were together for 1.6. lived together for 1 year, and broke up 2 weeks ago. We haven’t spoken in 2 days. Why would he be sending these messages?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 13, 2020 at 11:55 pm
It sounds as if he is feeling guilty for all thats happened. Ignore his message dont reply and just keep to NC!
Miserable But Trying
December 28, 2019 at 3:16 am
I dumped my boyfriend. Then we argued and it became mutual. HORRENDOUS blow out. Me: “You’re dead to me!” Him: “Never contact me again!”…To top it off, I lie 3 houses down. I can’t move. He has a platonic woman friend close to the age of his mother that is in love with him. He hats to be alone and since we ha an argument about her, he has her over every single day. I know I’m a threat because she constantly drives past our houses when he is gone. She stops outside my house to look into my art studio. I still can’t help but to despise her an be overcome with jealousy. I’m fighting it…I’m doing no contact but since it began, before the blow out, he’d contact me every 2 weeks (before she came back into the picture) and I’d have to start again because I foolishly responded…Now that we got on bad terms, he isn’t doing so but we constantly run into each other and I don’t acknowledge it. Recently, our cars passed at the turn-in and he smiled and waved so joyfully. I didn’t know what to do but to reciprocate in a friendly manner. No Contact begun again. It’s been 2 weeks. The mean old woman who says horrible things about m to turn him against me still constantly drives past. I miss him. I am at a loss. He called her back to spite me I’m POSITIVE. But she remains. He hates to be alone and that’s part of the reason. I must suck it up. I spend time away every day as long as possible. I don’t do social media. This is killing me. I went to the doctor because of extreme anxiety an was given medication that helps. I feel he misses me because I know he loves me. For my own sake, I’d like to be able to let him go from my heart but one can’t help who they love…I could rally use some advice because I’ve lived a life but have never experienced something like this. Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 30, 2019 at 2:53 pm
Hey there, so no contact while you are working on yourself is best and youve done the right thing seeking professional help to deal with your anxiety. If you know the woman is no threat then you need to remind yourself of that in the times where you feel weak and start to feel jealous etc. She is going to be his safety net to avoid being alone so know he is literally using her for company if he does spend time with her. The more secure and happier you appear to be the better the outcome of this will be for you, so keep working on yourself
Kelsea
August 30, 2019 at 8:26 am
Hey! So I’m having a major dilemma. There’s this guy that comes into my work and we started hanging out all the time. He knows I’m married but things aren’t going well and a divorce is in the works. So he mentions that his friend thinks we should date and that he thinks we should also. I told him I had to get my life situated before that would be a possibility. So a week or so later I confessed I had feelings for him etc. It then turned weird and he basically stopped talking to me. He started dating some girl and I didn’t hear from him much for 5 months or so. Sooo this girl pretty much broke his heart and he’s running back to me. Texting all day, every day and showing up at my work and hanging out til close mostly. Everything is pretty much back to how it was before except he brings her up constantly and mentions their sex life etc. Even goes as far as shoving her pictures in my face talking about how pretty she is. It hurts my heart but I offer him advice and bite my tongue.
Recently he met and went to dinner with my family. hes trying to take me around his friends again etc. can you offer some insight on this?
Cassie
May 26, 2019 at 11:27 am
Hey Chris, my ex just recently broke up with me the beginning of May . We been together for 2 years and lived together with her 3 kids. She’s from Illiniois, I live in Florida. She says I mental abused her and she was unhappy which it isn’t true. I would never mental abuse and she suffers from bipolar & mental illness. I didn’t find how she felt until she left to visit her family in Illinois because of a death in family. We were fine talking on the phone until she made it there everything changed. She told me she misses her family and wants to be close. The thing is she knows we were moving close to them after my daughter graduates which is this year. I did something stupid after the break up, I had my friend that she hasn’t met post on Facebook page how she couldn’t wait to see me for the weekend. Then I posted we went on date. I made it public so she could see it. I know she lurks on my page , she then blocked me on phone but talked to me on Instagram very upset about it saying I cheated on her for 2 years how did I move on already. I told her she’s the only woman I want to marry and she was only a friend & if we can’t fix it…I will move and get engaged. She were very upset when I said that. Well I decided to go into NC. I haven’t talked to her in 3 days. Just yesterday I looked on her Facebook and seen she’s engaged to a woman she haven’t even met yet and she put the date January 1st of this year. We was together all year , spent New Years together . How can she do that & hurt me in that way? One of my mutual friends that’s my ex friend on her Facebook told me she just met this other person on Facebook the middle of this month. The other person lives in either Houston, Texas or New Orleans. I need help, I’m freaking out. I can’t sleep . Is she really engaged or it’s a ploy to get my attention, to make me jealous?
Chris Seiter
May 26, 2019 at 3:19 pm
HI Cassie….implementing No Contact sounds like the right medicine. It does sound like a ploy to get attention. Right now what is important is for you to focus on “you”, your healing as you won’t be good for this whole ex recovery process if your emotions are bouncing. Check out my Program (Ex Recovery Pro Bundle) so you understand better how the ex recovery process works.
Stefanie Robinson
April 16, 2019 at 12:49 am
My ex comes around more often and we get along more now. He spends more time with me and our son. But he still talks to females on front of me what does this mean
Shannon
March 13, 2019 at 11:44 pm
My ex and I have gone through the no contact and we are talking now and have been here and there for a month. He added me back to his fb and he sees guys flirting with me I have a feeling. Now he goes and gets a gf . Texted me the day before, he posted on fb his relationship. I ignored his text . You think he’s trying to make me jealous. I just feel he is but idk he could be just being friendly?
Nicole
January 28, 2019 at 8:19 am
My exboyfriend and I dated for almost 4 years. A week after he broke up with me he started dating a woman he (in one night) met in Vegas. 3 months later they were engaged to be married. The kicker here is she is still married in the Philippines (where divorce is illegal). I haven’t given him any reaction and we have mutual friends saying he is doing this to get one. Why would a person go this far?
Chris Seiter
January 28, 2019 at 11:35 pm
Hi Nicole!
That is a wild ride for him. He seems to be behaving foolishly. Are you implementing NO Contact right now?
Haway
September 7, 2018 at 10:53 pm
We was in 4 years together , he broke up with me 21 days ago and he was mean to me and made me responsible for all his failuer in his life ( but it’s obivce not true ), i maintain no contact from this and waiting to end it , he clarify why we broke up , it’s because i was so negative and he can’t deal with it anymore.
I follow no contact from day one , it’s so hard, i miss him, he don’t block me ,and don’t contact me either, he post funny posts in his FB , i was post a general posts not a funny one , i wait to end 30 days no contact but i am afraid he may moved on and forget about me .
Chris Seiter
September 9, 2018 at 5:42 am
Hi Haway!
I know NC is hard, but sometimes is necessary to emotionally detach from your ex to find yourself and gain perspective. If you ex has been mean to you and blames you for everything in his life, just maybe he should not have you back until he gains perspective e on his end.
Laila
August 27, 2018 at 6:17 pm
Hi Chris,
I broke up with my almost a month ago. I started the break-up because I was feeling overwhelmed with my life. He said he was fine with the break but still seemed pretty annoyed. After a couple of days I was ready to make things work but he was like “it’s not the same anymore”. I asked if he was seeing someone new and he said yes. This broke my heart but we agreed to be friends. He eventually said that if we are friends we will end up sleeping together. He messages saying he loves this new girl but he misses our time together and my dog. He even told me that one day he will marry this girl, but it seems to me that he is trying to get to me and it’s driving me crazy. I still love him and don’t know what to do. I was mean to him before the break-up but now I really regret it. help me please.
Chris Seiter
August 28, 2018 at 9:51 pm
Hi Laila!
I understand…life can be confusing and overwhelming and sometime we need a change or a break. Its unclear if this new girl is the real deal. Time will tell. Meanwhile, your focus should be on your recovery and reinforcing your value. I thinking implementing no contact and having an ex recovery plan is important going forward. I have a ton of resources on this site. Merely go to my home page to see the books, tools, and other resources available to you.
Alexandra
August 27, 2018 at 4:10 am
We broke up a week ago and now he’s posting on snapchat and Instagram all the time when he never did before. Is he trying to let me see what he does? To see if I get jealous? Today he went to the beach and he had this one girl twerking on him and he posted it everywhere where he has me. Did he do that on purpose so I can see it? What does he want from me?
Chris Seiter
August 27, 2018 at 3:36 pm
Hi Alexandra….yes…that could be a signal he is trying to indirectly make contact and get a rise from you. Are you in no contact?
Help
April 29, 2018 at 4:06 am
Hello,
So my boyfriend and I broke up almost a week ago. I have done some stupid things post-breakup, and so has he. I immediately gave him space like he asked and then two days later i got a message saying how much he missed me. I sent him back a very flatlined ‘we need to cool down before we can talk again’ text. he didnt answer. The next day, he had put a snapchat story up of my things in his room still hanging up. I did a stupid thing and I screenshotted the stupid snapchat story. Then the next day, he liked one of his ex’s photos on instagram, one who he knows I follow, and he was always very careful about not liking any girls photos during the relationship, (his terms, not mine). I immediately added her on facebook… (which i don’t think he can see unless he goes to my friends list to look for that info.) So now I’m getting mixed signals?? Is he just trying to make me jealous to get a reaction? I’m worried he’s getting over me since he was so upset in the very beginning of the break up?? Help please, I’m becoming discouraged
Chris Seiter
April 29, 2018 at 4:44 am
Hi there Help! No worries…we all do stupid things before, during and after a breakup! So you are definitely not alone. Yeah…he could be playing a jealousy ploy on you. So the best way I can help you “Help” is to encourage you to take a deeper dive into getting a lot smart on how this breakup stuff works. If you have not done so already, go pick up my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro (at my website Menu/Products link) because it serves as a comprehensive blueprint and will help you immensely put your action plan in place. There are a lot of things you can do to rebuild attraction and also take good care of yourself, so go look into it. And let me know how things work out for you!