Legitimate Reasons You Should Get Back With Your Ex- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

407 thoughts on “Legitimate Reasons You Should Get Back Together With Your Ex Boyfriend”

Unknown

January 3, 2017 at 5:03 pm

I need serious help or advice. I am currently lost and confused and do not know where to start or to turn to. My ex of one year has currently broken up with me again. He is confusing and can come across as miss leading. He told me that he loves me but he does not want to be with me. It makes it harder because we both work together as well. He told me that he wants to focus on himself and fix who he is before he can be in a serious relationship. He says in order for him to commit to me that he needs to change who he is. However, he keeps saying we should be friends and talk occasionally. Each time we have tried to do that it has never worked that way and then I end up feeling hurt and he constantly ignores me and makes it even worse. I’m not going to be one of those girls who lies to myself and thinks this time will be different and he will come running back to me. I am not trying to make my world revolve around that. I know what we need to work on and what went wrong. The problem is, I feel that those issues are fixable and we do have great chemistry and could have seen it being forever. I don’t know where to start or how to heal. I did delete his number and I have removed myself from all social media. I need advice on how to make our work life easier and to know if I should give up forever?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2017 at 2:54 pm

Hi Unknown,

check this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Samantha

January 3, 2017 at 1:27 pm

My fiance left because I’m being dragged into family court. I get he’s worried he will be too but he’s implementing the NC rule. Until such time as it’s all over. Worse thing is we are planning a wedding and I’m 8 weeks pregnant. Family court can take a very long time. I’m so scared I’m going to lose him forever. When he walked out the door his last words to me were “I really hope I get that call”. That was it. “The call” he is talking about is me calling him to tell him court is over. My parents went through it for 9 years. Does that mean if it takes the same for me I can’t have contact for 9 years? Yes done it out of fear of court I get that but it’s a really rash decision but one I also understand. We both want the same things out of a life together and we’ve been really happy until this. One fight in 4 years and that was 18 months ago because my daughters (7 at the time) father wanted to see her for her birthday (abandoned her before she was born and never met her) and we said no and it caused a fight between us because my ex is very manipulative and I wanted to give in but my fiance was standing his ground. He is the only father Melony has ever known and I’m pregnant with our own child. I have no family and friends (ex manipulating) so I don’t have a support network. Please I need some help

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2017 at 2:44 pm

HI Sam,

Sorry, this might seem stupid but I’m not familiar with you situation. Why does he want you to go to family court?

Tiff Smith

December 30, 2016 at 6:41 am

Hi there ,
my boyfriend and I dated for a year and then did long distance for one year while i was in my first year university. The summer before I went into my second year of university, we had a big talk about if we should break up or not. His reasoning was that he felt like i didn’t go out with friends enough, and thought he was holding me back. He had more life commitments as well, so we would also both be busier in each of our lives. I wanted to try to make things work and explained to him that he could never hold me back (i have a very outgoing personality). He ultimately made the decision to break things off with me. We went out for supper and talked about how we still wanted to stay in contact and be friends with each other. After we broke up, the rest of the summer felt almost like we were still dating but without the title, because i feel like we still wanted each other. At the beginning of my first semester of second year we were doing well with staying in contact with each other, but near the end of the semester we were barely talking. Starting in the summer when we broke up, I was having such a hard time getting over him, and thought that going back to school would help me. At school i tried getting with other guys to get over him, but at the end of the day he was still the one on my mind. I met this one guy, where we decided on being friends with benefits, and it was going really well until I caught feelings for him. I told him about me catching feelings for him, and it was mutual. He started taking me out on dates, we studied together, and we always had a lot of fun together. When i am with him, I don’t think about my ex at all. I have recently came home for my christmas break and my ex and i were talking (as we wanted to stay friends) and he asked me if i was seeing anyone. When I told him yes, he didn’t act out in anger, but I can tell that he is very hurt and upset by this. He followed by telling me how head over heels he is with me, and how he can’t stop thinking about me no matter how much he tries. Now i don’t know if he is acting like this because he thought when i came home from school we would be able to act like we did in the summer (like we were dating, but without the title), or if he is acting like this because he regrets breaking up and wants me back, or if he is just upset that i have move on and he hasn’t. Now my question is this: what do I do?
I do not want to hurt the new guy i have been seeing because i love spending time with him. But by my ex saying all of this It brings back many many feelings and makes me question if i am truly over him. Do I try to get back with my ex and have a long distance relationship. Or do i stay with the guy who has been nothing but kind to me and fun to be around.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 30, 2016 at 3:04 pm

Hi Tiff,

be truthful to yourself and be ready to face the consequnce of your choice..but bottomline is, you have to choose. You cant keep talking to them both and you have to make that decision alone to be responsible for it..

Clara jozefa

December 25, 2016 at 2:35 am

Hi
Me and my boyfriend of over two years broke up just over two months ago. We decided to do long distance at uni and after ages of saying he was good with it he hit a funky patch and started being a pretty mean boyfriend. He was incredibly distant and confusing, didn’t open up, broke up with me once before asking for me back the next day and just in general not great. we sort of got through this before leaving for uni and then I went to visit him one weekend. We had the most incredibly perfect weekend but at the end I told him I had been feeling a little jealous. I said it wasn’t a big deal but I think because we’d been a bit rocky and I didn’t know the girls he was getting to know it was making me a little insecure, it wasn’t a big deal but I thought he should know and I’d try and work on it. For the next week he was very distant, never said I loved you or showed interest in me sexually and by the end of that week he kissed his best female friend from uni when drunk at a party. He pushed her away (after kissing for a while) and went home, told me the next day and we broke up. For these past two months obviously I’ve felt bad but I’ve been getting better. Now we’re home for Christmas and been seeing him and he keeps on fully breaking down, crying and shaking telling me he’s so sorry he messed it up and he loves me, he hasn’t got with anyone since and has no interest in it etc. More importantly he’s said he understands what he did and how stupid it was and that if there is any hope left that he wants to fight for it but if there isn’t he will respect my opinion and leave me alone. He has been acting different like texting more and quickly and being so much
More attentive but there are so many obstacles now. My family aren’t too keen on him, I can’t be sure his behaviour will change long term and obviously trust. I have no idea what to do because I still love him. I was considering remaining friends for a while and taking it slow but there is a part of me now scared of the long term commitment when I wasn’t before, I always though we’d just be together until we weren’t happy and not put too much pressure on it. I really can’t tell what to do

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 28, 2016 at 2:23 pm

Hi Clara,

give him a chance.. let him prove of he’s really serious or not, if not, then move on..

Carter

November 29, 2016 at 6:24 am

Hi,
I need advice/help. The guy I was dating ( for 4 years) transferred to my college to be with me and promptly broke up with me within a month. ( this was a year ago now and im not over it) We were both about to turn 21 and overall had a very happy relationship. Things were tough when he first moved to my school as he was pledging a fraternity and overall just adjustments, but I would never say it was horrible. We fought more than we had ever in that month but not even to the existent where i would use the word “bad” just not as good as normal. He told me he wasn’ sure he loved me anymore. But he told al his friends he just wanted a “real” college experience. Aka he wanted to be a frat boy. i still love him and i think he knows that. we briefly started talking again this year but he wouldn’t be exclusive as he kept ssaying he didn’t want a relationship becuase he was having to much fun. Do you have any advice on how i can get over him , or ways that will make him realize he messed up and make him want a relationship

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 29, 2016 at 8:11 pm

Hi Carter,

check this one:
The Ungettable Girl

Sarah

October 23, 2016 at 5:17 am

Hi, I was hoping to get some help with what to do in regards to my relationship with my now ex boyfriend. We had a fight last night while he was away at a friend’s place which was mainly caused by me not telling him what had been happening with my family/me emotions. I didn’t want to tell him everything while he was meant to be having a good time with people he hadn’t seen in a while. We both said things we didn’t mean and what he said really hurt me and I told him not to talk to me for a while. He contacted me this morning and called to say he was breaking up with me because he’s tried everything he could to help me and he feels like it’s not good enough/I through it back in his face. I’ve got depression and anxiety and live with my abusive family and I really struggle with it all and it was affecting our relationship. He said he still loves me and probably always will but for the time being he can’t be with me. He told me he doesn’t want to never see me again and he wants to be there for me and he hopes that one day we can get back together (I’m assuming when I’m stronger and able to find a more healthy outlet for the negative emotions I feel almost constantly). I don’t know what to do as far as contact with him. I don’t know if I should just wait until he tries to talk to me again or if I should have no contact for a month as I’ve seen stated in this article. It’s all feeling surreal and I don’t think I’ve processed us breaking up at all because a couple of days ago things were great and about a week ago we put a lot of effort into a “proper” date for our anniversary and now everything has ended basically overnight. I really need someone to tell me what to do in regards to him while I figure out how to get better so I don’t keep hurting people around me

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2016 at 9:27 pm

Hi Sarah,

give it a week to cool off.. if he still has the same decision, start the count for the no contact rule after that and whether he changes his mind or not, focus in improving yourself

Pinktie

October 23, 2016 at 12:00 am

My bf and i broke up over 2weeks ago. We are living together for 13years. He keeps saying that he wants to focus his time and himself with his parents(having financial crisis right now). He said that his goals and priorities have changed. He was tired of arguing,he was not happy.he keeps on saying that he is not the best person for me that he cannot give all that i want eventhough im not asking for anything..he keeps on pushing me away telling that i can find another man worth it of me..i really cried for him and keep on begging him that we can talk about it and fix it but he says that the past and problems are done we dont need to talk about it again and again.all he wanted right now is to really break up with me. I really acted so needy coz i really dont want us to break the relationship that i really want him in jy life after all those years….Though this scenario happende also last april,july we fight we argue and get fix..he always told me that we should end this but im begging him again crying so hard and then after a.moment he will be the one to tell me that im sorry this is not really what he want that he dont want to loose me that he loves me…then everything will be ok again..last sept 19 this happens again..we come to apoint that we finally agreed to end the relationship..then the following day again..he was the one who cried saying sorry will i give him another chance to come back that he will do his best again for me etc etc..then the worst case scenario happend last october 8 i found out that he is communicating with his officemate who is 10years youger than ours (in a 1year realtionship with her bf).he told me that he fell in love with the girl because she appreciated him she believes in his strenghts and character.after i knew it the girl confess to his bf about them and they were ok. he knows its impossible to have a relationship with her because she has a bf.he texted me the following day if we can talk.he told me he talked to the girl and they both decided to end things.but then he told me that he really wanted me to let him go so that he wont hurt me again,he is not the best man for me,he cannot give me evrything that iwant though i never ask for more..that i deserve someone better than him.after all of this scenario and arguments fights challenges and problems.i still want ck in my life and im willing to do everything to be with him.what advice can you give me..will the no contact rule can help us or him to still fix the realtionship? Is there a chance that this will get fix.Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2016 at 5:40 pm

Hi Pinktie,

I answered your earlier comments.. and since I saw you commented on my recommended article, the grass is greener syndrome, what do you think about the advice there?

Coleta

October 17, 2016 at 1:28 pm

Hi,
I’ve been in a relationship with someone for approximately 5 years. He broke up with me once after being together approximately 6 months saying that I was taking things too seriously, however in reality he had met someone else and decided to end it. Without knowing, I did all the right things, almost 3 months NC, eventually I reached out to him to tell him how much he’d hurt me, but that I was over it, over him (at the time I was actually dating someone else). He showed a lot of remorse, apologised for his behaviour and we began a truly amazing friendship. Now I need to explain that this guy and I get along beyond well, we have the same interests, sane sense of humour, essentially we are really good friends. With time we became involved again, I broke up with the person I was seeing and for the past years we have been great, on my part at least everything’s been fine. The only thing is, we never really defined the relationship and I never really ask for a commitment on his part. I was committed and I thought he was too. Exactly one month ago he told me that he met someone else and is dating. I was shocked beyond belief, devastated because we were as we have always been, everything was fine, there were no arguments, nothing. We were fine. And then that happened. We spoke and I was emotional, I didn’t accuse him, there was no arguing, I tried to be understanding, but I was really hurt, we parted and he said that he has feelings for me, but right now the feelings for the other person are stronger. We parted and I didn’t contact him for 2 weeks, he tried to contact me but I wasn’t prepared to reply, I’m in control of my emotions now and capable of keeping some form of communication, which I have done, but the conversation is somewhat stifled and although I’m being normal, he’s kind of cold towards me, which I don’t understand. My issue is: I want him back, but I have no idea what to do, I’ve read so much of this site, all about the NC and re attracting him but I don’t know where to start because we really should be getting along. He left me, I accepted it, because I have to, but he’s the one who’s s strange. On our communications I’ve not asked him to get back together, have not been needy or clingy, just a normal friend, have not even mentioned the breakup. I want him back not because I need him, I’m aware I don’t, I want him back because what we have is so special and I know that if I can do it, I’ll need to get him to commit before anything intimate happens, but right now because he’s being so distant I don’t know what to do. What can I do? Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 4:57 pm

Hi Coleta,

I think it’s too soon to talk to him again..try yo restart nc. do one month before initiating again

Celeste

October 9, 2016 at 11:06 am

Hi,
So my boyfriend of 3 and a half years just broke up with me.
He said that he’s changed too much and has fallen out of love with me.
But when he was having these feelings he never said anything. Never gave me the chance to fight for us, to work it out.
He’s not the only one that’s changed, I have too. But I have always thought to myself is this relationship right, and my conclusion was always yes.
I just dont understand how he could go from planning the rest of our lives together to nothing.
I want him back, we just click and are always wanting the same things.
I just need some help with what to do

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 10, 2016 at 11:02 pm

Hi Celeste,

so he grew out of the relationship? Do you want to try what’s advised in the last article you posted?

nico

June 22, 2016 at 9:08 pm

my boyfriend an i of 2 years broke up last week. i said some mean things out of anger, i was upset and just wanted to talk about how i was feeling that day. he told me he didnt want to listen to anything i had to say anymore about the subject because it was about one of our mutual friends that was upsetting me at work and i told him it upset me that he said that to me. i felt lonely becuse my boyfriend in my best friend and i felt like i had no one to talk to. i felt annoying. i asked him if he wanted a break which i dont believe in and he said why and things just escalated so quickly.. i said such mean things like he makes me feel lonely and shitty all the time. i dont know why i said that if thats not even true. i told him i always try to help him achieve things but he gives up when things get hard and doesnt want my help. then he stopped talking to me for a few days i even tried to contact his mom so i can tell him how sorry i was. he told me i should move on, im so positive i hurt his feelings he told me that when i said he makes me feel shitty he got deeply saddened and thought i was feeling this way for a while. he said he didnt want to see me cry anymore and deal with the pain that is caused when we fight. i told him we can fix things i know we can he agreed but i knew for the 2 days we ‘tried’ he wasnt feeling it. he told me he loves me but why cant we fix it? he told my mom that he loves me but he doesnt love himself
Jenny

June 5, 2016 at 2:15 pm

Hi-
My boyfriend and I of almost 3 yrs just split up. We were living together for over a year, and the living together made our relationship a lot more difficult. I tend to be messier, and have two cats, which shed and make noise- something he hasn’t lived with. He has struggled with being emotionally detached and unavailable, and we sought couples’ counseling with the understanding that we’d do it for 6 mos. Now, 1 mo in, he says that it’s better to break it off now than wait 5 mos because he didn’t feel it changing. This breaks my heart, but I think it’s better to be with someone that is happy to be with you and makes you happy. The thing is, we’re taking 2 mos of no contact, but will contact each other in ~2 mos to see how we have progressed and likely will meet up as friends first, to see if the changes we’ve made to ourselves is more compatible. Can someone give me advice if this is absurd to hold on hope that after 2 mos we’ll be better people and more compatible? I feel like I am losing my best friend and I’m not sure how I’m going to make it through 2 mos. I’m really scared that the time will erase any lasting feelings that we have for eaach other, but I’m holding onto hope that we’ll both change and be able to fully give to each other when we do see each other again. Can you please give me advice on what you think of this?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 5:01 am

Hi Jenny,

I think it’d beyter if you ise that two months to improve yourself because that’s what he would be least expecting when you see each other again

Sarah

May 9, 2016 at 9:23 pm

Okay, so I know this is going to sound crazy but I am 17 and I have..well had this boyfriend of 2 years. My parents disapproved of him and so after the first year we broke up and then we were still going to school together and were still really close friends and then around August this year we decided to give it another try. Our break only lasted for a month or so and so we just kind of picked up where we left off. But before I met him I had a really great guy friend and that’s all we were! We tried dating and we did nothing (not even a kiss!!) and we decided that it was just to awkward we knew to much about each other and we were better off friends and in a relationship. So when I started dating my boyfriend I was still talking to my best friend and my boyfriend didn’t say much about it at first but then as the relationship got more serious he told me he didn’t want me talking to him. We talked about it and we compromised to where I could talk to him but I needed to find “girl”friends to hang out with. And so when we broke up I didn’t really know who to go to with my pain. So I went to back to the guy friend and we got really close again. We became closer friends than we were before but again it was nothing more than just friends. And so a few weeks ago my ex texted me wanting to hang out and I still wasn’t over him and this was just what I wanted! So I went and hung out with him. And we ended up sleeping together. And then come to find out two days after we slept together he HAD another girlfriend while we were apart, and they had just broken up three days before he texted me. He doesn’t know that I know so I decided to see how he felt or if he was going to be honestly with me. Because at this point I felt as if it was just a booty call and I was pretty hurt, but our relationship before was really serious and we said I Love You everyday and we were happy with each other and everything was good and then out of the blue he broke up with me because of my guy friend. So he eventually told me about this other girl (only after I asked him if he did anything with anyone else while we were apart) and I can’t help but shake the feeling that he is just using me for a sex. And so here is my problem, the way we met was he transferred schools and came to my school well a few months ago I transferred schools, and it was to a bigger school and I met this guy and he is super nice but I don’t know if anything will ever happen between us. So do I try to fix things with my ex (even with my concerns of him just using me) or do I drop the whole thing and go for this other guy (who I think likes me but I could be wrong)? The only reason I would get back together with my ex is because we have a past and our break up was really hash and we were happy with each other, but there are so many what if’s…..HELP!!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 10, 2016 at 4:22 am

Hi Sarah,

don’t choose anybody.. if he wants to go back with you, let him work for it.. if the new guy wants you, let him prove it.. right now, choose yourself and improve yourself and let them do the work.. if the show more effort or not, at least you didn’t lose anything and you continued to focus on yourself.

Kel

May 9, 2016 at 1:40 am

Hi 🙂

My ex and I split 4 months ago after a 5 and a half year relationship. After the split I have seen the errors of our relationship and have realise exactly where I went wrong. My ex and I are perfect for each other in every way, we have so much in common, we want the same kind of lifestyle for our future, and we are so good for each other. We make each other happy. I have recently been doing a lot of research into the 5 languages of love and also how to get him back. I was getting upset all the time in the last 6 months of the relationship because I had it in my head that he didn’t love me because he never told me (he has but not often) I recently found out he has been saying it in other ways.

I truly believe with my whole heart that we are meant to be together and I want to do everything I can to give us the best possible chance of this to happen.

I really need to know if I have a serious chance, I did the test it said yes but circumstances have changed a bit.

He still has some of my stuff at his house and he knows I want it back, he did bring some but kept some of it still. Im at day 19 of the no contact rule and even though I have recently found out he is actually dating someone else as hard as it has been I have not contacted him and gone crazy like i normally would have lol playing it cool is extremely hard but I’m so determined I want him back the current heartache is worth it.

However, he still has my stuff, when no contact is over do I use that as a way of communication or should I leave it with him for now and follow the reminder steps? if it doesn’t work out I still really need those things he has back, I don’t know why he even kept them when he dropped the other stuff off.

we have not split on bad terms and we have spoken a lot since he break up, until now. and he is still very nice to me even though the past 19 days he’s not tried to contact me at all, my guess is he’s busy with the new play thing lol

what do i do? please help me

Kel

May 11, 2016 at 4:40 am

lol ok 🙂

great plan thank you 🙂

also just to report, since i have ignored his msg he has been stalking my online profiles 🙂 I’m feeling more confident now that I’m doing the right things. Fingers crossed that this new chick is just a rebound.

I have also recently posted some gorgeous pics of myself looking amazing so I’m thinking i have his mind in a tizzy about me at the moment, heres hoping : ) they are a touch seductive ; )
Kel

May 10, 2016 at 5:00 am

I think you have it backwards, the stuff is my stuff that he has at his house. He has been holding onto it ever since we broke up. I have asked him numerous times for it back and he has delivered some of it back to me but kept some of it at his house.

The stuff belongs to me and he has been delaying getting it back to me. He keeps saying he has been to busy to bring it back to me. He keeps sending me txt messages every now and again to let me know he has not forgotten about the stuff he has of mine. However he has yet to make the decision of when he is going to bring it back to me.

He has to deliver it to my house as its some outdoor chairs and camping stuff along with other bits and pieces that can’t be handed over in a public place.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 10, 2016 at 9:50 am

hahaha no I understand the items was yours.. but I didn’t understood that he was using to keep talking to you and that it’s not actually something to just hand off! Hahaha! okay, let’s say he sends another text about that during nc, just don’t reply.. except if he really says that he’s actually giving it that day.. and only talk about that, nothing else because you’re still in nc.

so, after nc, it’s better if you don’t talk about the stuff, if that’s the topic he opens about, just say ok… and then move on to the topic that he’s interested about.
Kel

May 9, 2016 at 11:40 pm

So funny enough, he txt me last night really late saying he hasn’t forgotten about my stuff he’s just been busy, (i know busy means with the new chick but he won’t say that to me) because I’m in the NC time i have ignored his msg(its extremely hard to ignore him, i feel so rude) but then i noticed he checked into whatsapp about 10 mins after he sent it. i have read receipt on my phone so he knows I’ve seen the msg, Im guessing he was checking up on me maybe?

No contact is extremely hard to do but I’m going to power on thru it, I’m so determined to have him back.

question tho, when i do contact him i don’t want it to be about finalising the relationship by asking for my stuff back, so do i stick to the plan of making him remember all the good and leave the stuff till i know for sure that its not going to happen (if it comes to that) or do i get that out the way so he has no excuse to contact me if he doesn’t want to?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 10, 2016 at 4:35 am

the remembrance texts is better sent when there is enough rapport built enough already.. it’s better if you set aside the things and if he contacts you for it.. then just answer if you’re going to take it and when to meet up
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 9, 2016 at 8:57 am

Hi Kel,
continue on with no contact..be active in improving yourself and posting it.. if you want you can use your things as a reason for a first meet up when you’ve build enough rapport and attraction and then meet up in a placr where you can talk like a coffee shop

Kary

May 2, 2016 at 5:17 pm

Hello, I have been reading your stuff all this week. My boyfriend of a year and 3 months broke up with me out of the blue a week ago. His reasoning was that although I had everything a man could want he just didn’t think he would ever care about me the way I care about him. The thing about the situation that gets me is why did he take so long to tell me when I was always very honest to him and told him that if he wasn’t into something serious to let me go. He hasn’t called me or text me. I began the nc but I had a moment of weakness on Saturday. Will he ever see that he actually cares? Or is this really the end of it all? Should I attempt reaching out to him?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 4, 2016 at 8:22 am

Hi Kary,

maybe because he doesn’t have the guts to hurt you.. it’s easier to stay because it’s less hassle.. when he said he didn’t care about you the way you cared for him means he’s not that in love with you, there’s not enough attraction and desire and maye it got boring

start nc.. work on yourself, improve and build a new life apart from him.. do it for yourself.. set him aside for a month and focus on you only.. if you message him, you would be chasing him

Jacinda

February 22, 2016 at 9:09 pm

Hi, I got my ex boyfriend back but really need some help. We split over the holidays, he was freaked out that we were moving too fast (we had dated for 11 months an saw each other about 4-5 times a week) He was going through financial problems and felt like he wasn’t able to give me what I deserved. He wanted to stay friends but I couldn’t so I went nc. After about 3 weeks he contacted me telling me he needed me in his life and missed me so much he couldn’t lose me because of money trouble (it is short term problem) I agreed to meet and talk. Anyway I agreed to start seeing him again. For first 6 weeks it was great, we went on fun dates, been away for a weekend, he was texting daily and I felt happy and felt my trust coming back, we were only seeing each other twice a week and just taking it slow. Then suddenly he’s gone distant and cold. His texts just dramatically decreased one day, then it turnt into 4 days, he still sent odd message and always replies when I text, then I only saw him for couple hours that week, no more. When I next saw him next I told him I was feeling worried, the lack of communication concerned me and I wanted to check if he was ok, was anything troubling him etc.. we spoke for a few hours I told him how I felt, and I’d likea bit more time with him. He is working extra to help him out of his financial situation which I understood, I asked him what he wanted and he said he still feelst he same but I’m not his top priority at the moment, but I’m important and he will try. I saw this as all positive, but then he didn’t contact me for last two days? I sent him one message just seeing how his day was and something funny about my day, he did reply but it seemed quite short sharp responses. I feel totally confused? He said he still wants to be with me so do I just ride out this for couple months whileh e gets his finances sorted, or am I missing something in the way he is acting? I really need some advice, Thankyou

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2016 at 4:15 am

Hi Jacinda,

I think this post can help you
How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming

Rue

February 22, 2016 at 11:32 am

I think I remember seeing an article about “Should you get back with your ex”. Do you have the link? I can’t find it through any of my searches. This no contact thing has been an eye opener (I’m on day 20). It’s really giving me time to sort out my thoughts and get some perspective. I’ve had this crazy irrational love for my ex from the start, with my brain constantly fighting with my heart. We’re polar opposites (Fire and ice I’d tell him) Putting a little space between him and I is beginning to make me wonder if I should even bother trying to get him back. I have thought I’m “dating down” so to speak and that I can do better, but my crazy heart couldn’t let go. While I’m sure I’ll flip back and forth on this because I do love him, I at least feel like I’m getting a grip on myself and learning to think more about what I actually want/need out of a relationship and not settle for someone who has potential, but would require a great deal of patience. My ex is 13 years younger than me and has been so damaged in the past that he can be hard to love. But I’m beginning to see that I also need to love me and find a relationship that has a healthier two way street. (Which makes me feel sorry for him). I’m sure I’ll be lonely for a while, but I’ll be less conflicted. I always felt like he held me at arms length and it hurt. If 20 days can affect me so much, I’ll be curious to see where I’ll be after 30. I’m no spring chicken, so the less time I waste on potentially fruitless relationships the better. Even if I have a weak spell and do give it a second chance, I know for a fact that things would have to be different or I’m done for good. I’m at least strong enough to do that now. In the last 20 days I’ve gotten a new job, am living on my own, quit a super strict religious life, begun exercising and am reaching out to new and old friends to do things with. I’m learning to live again and it’s kind of freeing.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2016 at 10:49 am

Hi Rue,

I think this article is what you’re pertaining to
EBR 016: Should You Take Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Wani

February 21, 2016 at 6:25 am

Hi Chris. I know you have been getting these questions a lot but I am just so confused right now. I was with my ex for over a year before we broke up. I’m only 18 and he is 20 but the feelings we both had felt so real. He is my first ever love and the first ever guy I introduced to my family and friends. We broke up due to him being too controlling of what I do and I was so annoyed with it. He was controlling every single aspects of my life.

I just graduated high school at that point of time and was working while waiting for college to start and that’s how I met him(at work).Everything was fine at first he was this perfect guy ever for me and I was looking forward to work just because of him. However, after like 4-5months of being with him that is when things started to go downhill. I mean yes, I get it I went to a new school and all and he is insecure about it but at the same time I was so annoyed by him. Every single thing I did I had to update him about them. He even refrained me from going to any camps or social activities that requires me to mix around with guys. Well yeah basically we fought everyday since then until one day before our first ever anniversary I couldn’t tolerate it anymore and I left him.

It has been a month plus now since we broke up and the both of us still aren’t doing any better. So much happened within the month with him going out with his ex again as friends and me contacting other guys now, him bad mouthing about me online to me ranting out a whole lot of craps with my friends about him but even after all that, at the end of the day we both know we just can’t live without each other. A few days ago we met up and talked things out and I kind of agreed on getting back together with him as I thought it would make me happier and that things between us would be better but I don’t know why I just don’t feel happy. Yes, I can see he has changed he has realised his mistakes and all but for the past few days of being back with him I just don’t feel happy like how I should be. Why is that so? I really don’t know what to do now. I don’t want to lose him forever but also I don’t feel too good being with him back. Please help. Thanks so much for reading.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2016 at 2:44 pm

Hi Wani,

you don’t want to lose him because you’re used to him being in your life? or you love him? You’re the only one who can answer why you’re not happy.. think about it for now

faith

November 28, 2015 at 10:07 am

i want to know if my reason is ligitimat reason me and my boyfriend really connected and even though we have been broken up for a month or two i still think about him constantly my friends keep telling me that i need to find someone new but i cant even begin to think about starting a new relationship when i do i realize i dont want to start a new relationship i want him back i opened myself and felt love towards him that ive never felt for anyone else i knew he was the right guy for me but i fear that the reason he broke up with me was because things were starting to get serious im younger then most but does that mean that what we felt for each other wasnt real. we both admited that we were falling for each other we always told each other love you before school in the morning and at night before bed everyday could it be that he was scared that he was falling for me he told me that it wasnt me but i feel like it was i mean i cant stop thinking about him i dream about him every night i just want to know what to do i know he was the one for me but i dont know how to go about getting him back ive read many sites but i am a very nervous person and i get really nervous when i try to talk to him im only a teen but that doesnt mean anything does it? my family and friends keep telling me that there will be someone else but i know in my heart that he was the one. It’s instinct i get a pit in my stomach because i dont know what to do to get him back i know what i felt waas true love no matter what everyones says what to do?
Minnie

November 15, 2015 at 8:11 am

Hi ,
So my ex and I were together for two years before we broke up . I had broke up with him because over time he just began to change and became really insecure and almost inhibiting to my dreams because I was close to graduating and had a job offer waiting for me post graduation. I tried for a long time to make it work in hopes that we would just go back to how we once were because I didn’t throw my success in his face nor asked him to keep up, I was never unloyal and he was essentially my world I loved him so much he was so passionate and intelligent and had goals and he was everything and he just fell off . We both knew it was coming to an end and then he proposed to me and I said yes hoping it would fix everything but essentially things got worse and he tried to be more controlling and I felt like I was never going to move forward . At this point it’s been almost two years since we broke up and we got into contact again and we’re seeing where this goes and if we should get back together . During this time I did date but was unsatisfied because I missed him and aside from his bad qualities he developed I never questioned his love for me or how much he cared for me and he expressed it often to make sure I knew . But now here we are and I would love to try again he is different in many instances but still shows me affection the same way and in my heart and soul I would love to replicate it but I feel like I am just unable to like my mind won’t let even thought my heart would like to give it a try and for real but how can we do that if I’m at this blockage like I don’t know how to love or be affectionate. sometimes it’s just too much and I don’t want him touching me or kissing me because it feels forced. And I’m not ready but I can spend time with him all day just hanging out going to dinner for walks to the beach I love his presence. I just don’t know what to do
Kalin Izsak

November 12, 2015 at 11:27 pm

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. I was his grad escort, that’s how we met. We started dating and everything was great except my friends did not like him. They made me feel bad if I choose him over them which to be honest I did a lot of. Over the summer I was seeing him a lot more then my friends. Just before our six months I called it off. He was very controlling and over protecting in the ways he would make delete and block and Guy friends that would talk to me and would not give me and trust. I was leaving to Tronto in a following days so I wanted to talk to him before I went. I thought about it lots and I knew I needed him in my life. Now last week I went out and was pretty drunk. He called me at the party and asked what I was doing. I said I wAs hanging out with josh( the boy I used to see for a year) and rich ( a boy who always flirted with me) my ex started getting so upset that finally I just said I’m done with you. The day after that I went to go pick up my stuff from his house it felt so good to see him and i could barley leave the house. Last night he called me and said he loves me so much and that im the only girl for him. I kept trying to convince myself he was wrong but today I can’t stop crying and thinking about him I miss him and love him so much. I need him in my life and maybe my decision was to rash please what should I do??

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