Is Your Ex Boyfriend Playing Mind Games On You? Let's Find Out!

652 thoughts on “Let’s Find Out If Your Ex Boyfriend Is Playing Mind Games”

Amy

July 5, 2017 at 2:56 am

Hey Chris
Great article as always!
Could you please elaborate the solution of mixed signal number 2
Thanks!
yenni

July 1, 2017 at 12:27 am

my ex and I of 2 years broke up about a week ago for the 2nd time. both times i did what i shouldn’t have and begged for him back. the first time, we continued on talking for a whole month as if we were still together but not officially, and i would constantly bring up getting back together. it worked, but im afraid this time it definitely wouldn’t so i decided to start no contact. i begged at first, for the first day, then immeadiately stopped and have not broke it yet even though it is hard. keep in mind we used to text almost 24/7, not missing a single day. so i feel like this must have threw him off a bit because he probably assumed i would’ve kept trying to talk to him right? also he wanted to stay friends and keep in contact, but i told him no. i need to make him feel like he really lost me. the following few days after i went out with some friends and posted what we did on social media like how i always would. he looked at all of them, and then after he also starts randomly posting things within the week. i have not looked at any of them because i don’t want to give him the satisfaction of me seeing it. but the thing is, i know him, and he NEVER does this. i feel like he is trying to make me jealous or something, because he knows that i was upset by the fact that he never posted anything of me on his social media before, and now he is going around posting other things with his friends. he is also very stubborn, but i know that he still loves me. what does this mean?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 4, 2017 at 8:06 pm

If he’s making you jealous, then that’s good.. It can mean he wants your attention because he didn’t expect you to stop begging..

Michelle

June 28, 2017 at 11:07 pm

My bf over 3 years broke up, 2 weeks after moving in to our new flat, saying he loves me, but doesn’t love me in the same way he used to anymore. After the break he said that not one day goes by without him wishing he had those feelings for me. We saw each other 2 months after the break and slept together, and he said things like “I can’t come back or stay, cause what if I loose feelings again and I just hurt you all over again” After we slept together he said we can’t do this because it will mess up our heads. Two months later he is officially in a relationship with a girl he just met. He tagged this girl below my comment on my friends video where I was the only one commenting.. He suddenly deletes me on fb, there has been large amounts of photos of them, him writing that he loves her after only two months and just super romantic post’s which was something that I always pointed out he never did for me, and something he has never been the type to do.. They have been together for a few months now, suddenly he sends me a long message out of the blue saying he never gave me closure, that he was sorry etc. I reply that we can meet up and have a chat as we owe that to our 3 years together.. He turns 180 and says that closure is too late and it would be inappropriate because he is in a relationship…

This is only the short version. During the entire break up he has said how perfect I am, that it’s going to take him such a long while to move on, that I am the closest thing to him, that he is always going to love me.. And now he literally seem like he doesn’t even care.. What can you make out of this? I feel like i dont know this person at all, and I’m questioning 3 years of my life.. Is he playing mind games even though he has a gf.. Is this new gf the love of his life, as it’s written all over social media?? I really don’t know what to do, or how to feel.. Please help

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 30, 2017 at 11:14 am

It looka like they’re serious.. Either you move on or try the advice on this one:
How To Win Back An Ex Who Is With Someone Else

Gin

June 21, 2017 at 11:37 pm

Hi, I’m 34 and my bf is 35. He works offshore which puts him away from home for a month every alternate month. We’ve been together for 1.5 years and about a month ago, I exploded and exclaimed that I’m sick of his lifestyle of being constantly away and even when he’s home, I ‘ve got to share his time with his friends and family. He hasn’t brought up marriage too which I told him I wish for a timeline so that I could feel better waiting for him half of my time. He’s a very gentle guy who will try his best to assure and reason with me whenever I throw tantrums. However, 2 days after that argument, he said he thinks maybe he doesn’t love/care enough for me that’s why he could change anything for me. We talked and I didn’t want to lose him so I told him it’s okay about marriage but hopes he can bring me along for friends/family outings so as to give me some security in the relationship. The talk ended well and he was off to work. A few weeks later, I had some domestic issues at home and was upset so I suggested a short trip but he said he had a family even and won’t be available that weekend. He did propose the following weekend though, but I was too overwhelmed with my feelings that I started scolding me for not being around for me again. This time, he also took a day or two to think and replied me that perhaps he really doesn’t care for me enough and maybe there’s someone better for me etc. I was hurt and upset but I also felt that I may have been too demanding so I assured him that it’s only because I was upset with home matters that I got a bit too tense. He was still holding and kissing me but the next day he said we should take a few days apart and could talk on Monday. On Monday, I was rational and said a lot of rational things about him being good enough for me and that I understand his work schedule makes commitment difficult etc. etc and that we should manage our relationship again to prevent future unhappiness as there’s still a long way to go. He was okay at the end of the Monday, still kissing me back and whispering love you back to me.
However, on Friday when we were supposed to meet for dinner, again he backed out and said we need time/space apart to reconsider and if he’s not feeling 100% about me, it’s not right that we continue the relationship etc. etc.
I was very very upset but he refused to see me to talk, and refuse to tell me its a “break up”. But he did reply my Good Morning / Good Night texts until Sunday. Monday I attempted no contact and Tuesday evening, I dropped him a simple msg saying I know he won’t be comfortable meeting his friend (an insurance guy) but I will go ahead as we were discussing some insurance plans. He replied me saying yes but he asked me How was it? I later proceeded to ask him if he’s comfortable with a phone call but he said “he’s not prepared” but i asked for a kiss over text and he sent one over. The next morning, I asked for another and he “kissed” me again. We chatted a bit in the morning and it ended by We chatted a bit in the morning and he went out but he still replied me later in the night asking how’s the facial that I went too earlier.

I know he’s not a player and he’s a very slow guy but do you think he still wants to get back? Should I continue over texts daily casually or go NC or ask him out etc? He will leave for work in about 10 days time and I do hope he will give a definite reply before he goes. i.e. are we still continuing or ending. Thanks in advance

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 23, 2017 at 7:50 pm

Hi Gi,

I think you should check this one:
Do You Have The Same Values As Your Ex? (With Chase Kosterlitz)

Sasha

June 6, 2017 at 3:53 pm

My ex broke up with meveryone after almost 8 years of being together. We were going through financial struggles and I basically pushed him away. We have 4 kids together with one on the way. It’s been 2 months since we broke up. It went from if we get back together to we are not getting back together and he started dating a coworker within a month of us breaking up. He moved in with her. A couple weeks ago on a Monday he started making sexual comments you me when he come to pick up the boys. He told me that we had been best friends for 8 years and he’d like to continue being friends. He then kissed me and game me a very deep hug. Long story short, and please don’t judge, I slept with him twice. I ended up feeling horrible. I don’t want tone be the other woman so I had and talk with him and we both decided not to do it anymore. I backed off and quit texting him with anything but the kids. He come over yesterday and said that he left work and didn’t tell his girlfriend where he had gone. He started flirting with me and we had relations again. This time it was different. He actually kissed me. He said it was just two old friends having sex. He’s absolutely doesn’t want her finding out but he keeps making the first move. Everytime I see him when he’s not with her he asks if I’m seeing or talking to anyone. I don’t know how to take any of this. I’d love nothing more than to b a family again. What’s your opinion on why he’s doing this?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 9, 2017 at 3:02 pm

Hi Sasha,

I can’t guarantee that you’ll get him back, but I’m sure you shouldn’t sleep with him if you’re not together because you’re making yourself his friend with benefits.

Su

April 30, 2017 at 7:58 pm

After 22 years we both decided things weren’t working. I knew for a while I wasn’t happy. He asked me the day we split if we should try again but I said no. He moved to a friends a couple of days later saying he couldn’t bare to be in the house. Our 12 year old was utterly devastated so my focus was and still is her. Over the last two months since we’ve split he’s been a nightmare. Got with a woman and moved in with her, asked our daughter if she wants to meet her ( he did this after three weeks) keeps telling ne how happy he is. He also lied to our mutual friends about the split, saying he walked out on me….I hate saying this but I punched him after someone at school told my daughter she had seen her dads car at this woman’s house overnight….he is so irresponsible,and our daughter is the one suffering. He’s got his sister to snoop my FB page, accused me of seeing someone who he thinks I’m seeing,and said he’d kill him. Blames me for why we split, why he ended up with this woman, for everything….I’ve had to block him from all my phones, for peace,he’s asking friends if I’ve said anything….he’s even taking her to our holiday home…all in the space of two months. I thought that with work I might want to try again, but everything he’s done has me committed to never letting him bear me again…..why then do I feel so blooming miserable and sad and jealous…..? I’m totally confused

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2017 at 11:29 am

that’s normal to feel because he used to be your partner for a long time

Krista

April 26, 2017 at 2:39 am

Hi, I’m having a very confusing situation with my ex boyfriend period I went 30 days no contact and then we started texting again last Tuesday. The last time we texted was last Thursday but then all of a sudden today he out of nowhere said have fun at your concert this weekend. I said hey thanks what are you up to and he said working as usual. He had some Financial issues which caused us to split up. I asked him if he ever missed me and he said yes and I asked him if he wanted to see me and he said I’m working too much to have a social life. So I can’t understand why he would say he misses me but yet turn down the chance to see me. Also he asked me don’t you have a new boyfriend anyway? I said no what made you think that? He said I don’t know just figured and I said no I’ve been on a couple of dates but nothing serious and then I said hey I’m kind of busy so I need to go talk to you later and that was the last message. So is he playing mind games with me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 28, 2017 at 4:05 pm

Not really..he’s being honest that he misses you but that doesn’t mean he wants to go back with you..

Elizabeth

April 24, 2017 at 5:48 pm

So we were in a ldr for a year and we broke up 6 weeks ago because we were both prioritizing work over each other so it was an amicable breakup but it still hurt. I implemented NC with the intention of with both of us having space, we could work on ourselves and not have the burden of a relationship distracting us from our career goals. I do hope we can get back together in the future though.

About three weeks in of NC, he started to msg me privately about my Instagram photos. He’d say that my food pics look good and ask who I went with. I didn’t reply since I was in NC. After I finished NC, I sent him a text about this thing that reminded me of him. I could see he read it right away but he never replied.

I Snapchat quite a lot and while during our relationship he never looked at my stories. I don’t send him private snapchats but I post a lot of stories and he’s looking at them now and sending me inane comments like “I’ve never used that filter before” or “I like that artist too”. I replied a couple of times to his comments like “yea, I’m going to his concert in a few weeks” and he would not reply at all. He sends me a comment at least once a day and I’ve just stopped replying.

It’s he playing mind games with me? It’s weird that he would not reply to my text but then comment about my Snapchat stories later that night and then not reply again. What should i do if I want him back? Alternatively, what should I do if I want to remain just friends?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 29, 2017 at 8:35 pm

how is the conversation now?

Nicky

April 18, 2017 at 4:34 pm

You’ve just told us two opposite things? Not to make any contact whatsoever for 30 days but that if he does not get a shred of hope he will give up?
Lina

April 8, 2017 at 11:22 am

Hi there,

I hope to get some advice.
Me and my ex had a really bad break up at the end of last year. It was a very complicated relationship which had been ldr for the last 2 years. There was a situation where I was not able to reach him for 4 days on the number he has given me. It was out of use. Being totally hurt and feeling hurt, I blasted at him with messages expressing my hurt and disappointment. He made his regular weekly call, which I ignored. He read what I wrote and then told me to leave me alone via text. We both blocked each other. 2 days later I see a photo with another as his profile on his Facebook. The photo seemed obvious. I couldn’t control myself and found and contacted her. I asked her about him. She said they have been in a relationship for a month already. She was interested to see some of our message conversations from the past weeks. But there was nothing revealing so she was just like “I will see if he should cheat on me.” Out of hurt I left her a lot of messages but also him mails asking why he was stringing me along instead of telling me and breaking things up with me. There was a lot of nasty mail exchange from his side if I would mail him (telling me to stop stalking, he doesn’t care etc.) After two month (last month) I mailed him sorry to have bothered him. Processing everything has not been the easiest for me. After about 2 weeks later the lady on the photo contacts me and was like “did you hear from him? Did you both talk? When was the last time? Let me know if he should?” etc. I told her that I am not interested in giving her updates about him. I also left him a mail about it. I was still confused and irritated about it and messaged her a week later telling her that it confused me, that there is no need to contact me if she trusts him as she said etc. She just blocked me. I saw him and her changing their profile pictures again with them together. I had the feeling that I am still stuck in some mind game of him and did not let it affect me. I just went about my day.

Two days ago, he created a new email (which referred to one of mine) and asked me to send my phone number. I mailed that I want to be contacted via a credible source. There was some mail exchange. I got irritated that he prentended to be one of our previous mutual friend, whom we both are not in contact anymore. I got angry that he used his name and also dragged someone else into this again. I gave in and gave him my number. Today he called. Asked why I mailed him, that I shouldn’t mail him, he is recording the conversation as per advice, I should be happy if I don’t come across him in person otherwise I would get in serious trouble. But he was also asking about my life and well-being etc. I asked him why he just doesn’t just ignore my mails? He was saying that he wanted to let me know via phone and doesn’t want to get anything from me in 10 years etc. He doesn’t care about me, “it will never work out between us” etc. He also asked repeatedly whether I had anything to ask. I asked him why he strang me along. “Don’t want to talk about the past”. I was irritated about how the conversation went. Also because it didn’t make sense to me to be called and have this conversation or him to fight with me…

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 4:03 pm

he’s still stringing you along.. for me you should stop responding and move on..

Anita

March 31, 2017 at 8:14 am

Hello
I was with him for 6 months. We were in an open relationship. I fell in love. He fell in love. Ovbious. Then he had this bad dream that I broke up with him and he felt terrible about it. .. Long story short : he went away on a holiday for 3 months . He came back completely detached with no interest for me at all. No desire for me at all. Told me I was trying to control him .. that I wanted too much of this relationship. I felt like I was begging for some love. I was a doormat suddently ! I decided to break up. He said he agrees ( 2 weeks ago) He does not want any more relationship with me. I am devastated . I love him madly. He just texted me saying he is worried about my precious heart and sayd he cares for me ; even though the “situation has changed between us “…. I am confused . What does that mean ?? Does he just feel bad because he knows I am hurting a lot ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 31, 2017 at 9:24 pm

Hi anita,

more probably, it’s like washing his hands.. It’s just to feel less guilty after what he did..

Anna

March 30, 2017 at 9:04 am

Amor,

I am really confused. My ex broke up with me- we kept in touch for 2 months and then I said I needed space and went into NC. He kept saying he really wants t ofight for our friendship and he loves me and he understands my need to space and he will wait for me to reach out when I’m ready. I did text him after NC asking how he was etc, he replied saying he’s doing great and asked how I was doing, to which I said I was doing great – he then asked why great to which I replied that everything has been going relaly good at work etc and he never replied again.

Is he playing games and trying to regain control now after I’ve had all of it during NC? Or he decided that after all I wasn’t as important and he wants nothing to do with me? Where do I go from here?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 30, 2017 at 7:17 pm

Hi Anna,
I think it’s because there’s just nothing to say anymore.. initiate again after 3 days..

Emery

March 27, 2017 at 6:33 am

Hello okay so I did the no contact rule for 30 days he randomly text me telling me to be safe and that he had a nightmare and that he is sure I’m out drinking. I replied the next day telling him that I’m good no worries. He then tells me to open up my eyes and chase what I want. That life is not all about partying and going to bars. That I should thinking about my future etc. I then responded and told him that I am not waisting time and told him that I am currently working at two jobs, a full time student, and doing my internship. He then said that I still go out and should be using that time to be productive. I replied back and he never responded back. What is his deal??

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2017 at 3:39 pm

that’s still a good signn..it means he’s following your posts.. you need to initiate more and avoid negative replies..

Emery

March 27, 2017 at 6:23 am

Hello okay so I did the no contact rule for 30 days he randomly text me telling me to be safe and that he had a nightmare and that he is sure I’m out drinking. I replied the next say telling him that I’m good no wit. He then tells me to open up my eyes and chase what I want. That life is not all about partying and going to bars. That I should thinking about my futy etc. I then responded and told him that I am not waisting time and told him that I am currently working at two jobs,full time student, and doing my internship. He then said that I still go out and should be using that time to be productive. I replied back and he never responded back. What is his deal??

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2017 at 3:38 pm

that’s still a good signn..it means he’s following your posts.. you need to initiate more and avoid negative replies..
Emery

March 27, 2017 at 6:24 am

*worries
*future

Ella

March 20, 2017 at 7:20 am

I don’t know where to start. I’ve Been ghosted. You would thought I would’ve learned the first time. He came back after three weeks – almost as if nothing had happened then the same problems starting reappearing, the same ones that were never addressed throughout our years together. The constant lies and sneakiness. I finally confronted him. He denied everything putting it down to gossip and hearsay. That I was being insecure and needy. After our conversation He completely disappeared. I tried a few times to contact him but got nothing. I’m not only heartbroken I’m in shock. He still one month in refuses to talk to me or acknowledge me, he won’t pick up his stuff and he won’t give mine back despite requesting it. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t been texting or calling incessantly only once or twice over the last month hoping things might be okay to have a conversation. Help!!! What are my next steps. I can’t force him against hiswill to talk. What do I do please help.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 24, 2017 at 4:49 pm

Hi Ella,
check this one:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Ghosted You

Elizabeth

March 18, 2017 at 7:24 pm

Last year I reconnected with my ex. I dropped him. He tried coming back but I never would allow it. It was hot and heavy at first when I finally came back and then drama came between us and he implied he and I would never be again. So I said okay. I don’t see that happening either. We stayed friends. He would never initiate contact. If I talked he would always ask me how I was and talk about his hobbies. He would keep the convo going and then sometimes remind me how busy he is but still be active in talking to me like the reminder was to not waste his time or be grateful for his time. I began to fall but I never said anything because he said never again. One day I saw him out. I smiled at him from afar but when he got close, I denied his eye contact for my eyes always tell it all & he said never again. He ended up irritated that I looked down instead of into his eyes. Now im mad at him. I can’t put my finger on it. I feel like were both playing games with each other so I’ve backed off.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 22, 2017 at 8:16 pm

Hi Elizabeth,

actually, he’s got the upper hand because he’s the one that friendzoned you.. do you want to try the no contact rule?

susan

March 17, 2017 at 4:56 am

hey , my ex broke up with me 2 months ago . It was a pretty bad break-up. He broke my trust completely and also he didn’t gave me any reasons of breaking up. So, yesterday he called me and wants to get back together. i somehow didn’t gave him a direct answer and the conclusion made out from that conversation is that after a month we’ll decide. but now i am feeling like i gave him another chance to hurt me. what should i do now? should i call him back and finish everything? or else wait for him to call me after a month and than i will say that i don’t want anything from you now? i am sacred that in between all this..he’ll call me and gonna finish everything by himself again. what to do? i don’t want to give him another chance ..neither i want to show that i care enough to call him back.. maybe i am having ego issues. however, i want to give him a shot that i don’t care about him anymore..

susan

March 21, 2017 at 4:31 pm

I wanted to give him chance but he’s not convincing me in any way but just approached me and didn’t showed any guilt of breaking up!
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 25, 2017 at 10:34 am

ok, then set a limit on until when you would wait for him to show you what you’re expecting
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 21, 2017 at 3:31 pm

Hi Susan,

I’m confused.. what do you really want, to give him a chance or move on?

Emery

March 4, 2017 at 10:03 pm

So last week I made a fool of myself at the club when my ex was there. I made myself look needy. I was drunk and into my feelings. He didn’t contact me the next and I didn’t either. I was determined to not contact him at all and I sticked to it. Yesterday I went to the same club and I spotted my ex’s best friends. They spotted me but I acted like I didn’t see them. Once I got home I got a text from my ex saying, “You went again smh you really go out every weekend ” I did not respond. Does he still care? I still have feelings for him but I just feel that if we talk right away it’s going to be the same thing. Arguing all the time. Should I continue NC?

Emery

March 9, 2017 at 7:38 am

Yes I have and okay thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 12, 2017 at 11:10 am

You’re welcome!
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 5, 2017 at 8:34 pm

Hi Emery,

You restarted the count right? Yes, continue it. That’s good that he’s texting. So, keep improving and having fun.

Maddison

February 11, 2017 at 9:15 pm

My ex and I dated for a year which was great! however… we break up due to fights in the last few months of the relationship. After a few weeks of blocking him and NC he called, crying begging to get back together. I denied but agreed to be friends with him. In this 7 months of being friends (I would say more best friends) we had dinners, hung out, and he called/texted me everyday. We had previously booked a holiday and decided to go despite being just friends. Of course this ignited our love that has always been there even as friends. Now that we have been back home for a few months he’s been more loving than ever! However we have our days. He’s the cold, career driven, don’t need affection type. He does show me love however its no daily and sometimes I take that the wrong way. I guess I’m the sensitive, emotional type that enjoys an I miss you or wish you could be here. He’s now starting a business and works full time and has been super busy. In his defence he’s tried to make time for me but I just get frustrated when I wait all day to hear from him only to hear him tell me how busy and tired he is. Before he used to be more loving.. I try to be understanding obviously its like working 2 full time jobs and its hard not to just crash at the end of the day however I voiced that it wasn’t working for me anymore and I can’t keep going feeling unloved. A lot of the time I feel if we lived together and he was just in the room with me it would fix a lot of these issues however this isn’t an option at the moment. We have been on and off since after the holiday which is frustrating because I know we both love each other a lot. I tried no contact for 3 days and he went crazy! I’ve never seen him so vulnerable, saying he wasn’t eating or sleeping. I know it sounds horrible but I feel like the only way he gives me affection is when his mind is on me and freaking out about losing me and not on the business. (I do want him to do well with the business but you can’t blame me for wanting to fit in there somewhere too!)
Here’s the part I’m confused about… The other day we were driving to a casual dinner (as friends) and he blows me a kiss. I turned and said.. uh what was that and he just replied like nothing happened. In the same car ride he also said “You know I’m a smart guy right? Look.. just focus on your studies and your goals for now and I promise the future will work out.
He says these comforting yet confusing things! He calls me beautiful and finds comfort hugging me however has no problem being broken up!
I’m so confused.. I just need help as to whether this is a mind game and I should end it now as there is no chance this relationship will feel right or if I should ride it out till the business is up and running and we actually give it a chance by living together.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 13, 2017 at 4:31 pm

Hi Maddison,

the first confusion stems from your status, you’re just friends. So, why demand something that’s for committed relationships? I do get that you both feel something for each other, but it’s like you put yourself in the friendzone and then you want more.. But why not just take the relationship further and then lay out what you want?

Jane

February 7, 2017 at 5:28 pm

My ex is playing a mind game that I’ve yet to figure out… he texts maybe once a week with something low key like “how have you been?” I always reply with the same polite generic nonsense “great, thanks! How have you been?” but he NEVER replies! I have – for all outward appearances – taken the high road. (Sparing the whole back story, we had a fight, he was being a jerk for several days (nay, weeks!) and I dumped him. I do believe that, for reasons unknown to me, he was pushing me to dump him. He wanted me to be the “bad guy” and I obliged! I found his dating profile, I know he’s out looking for someone new – I haven’t let on that I know…) but these texts are making me nutty!

Him: Good morning! Hope you’re staying warm and having a great day
Me: Good morning, handsome. Hope you have a great day as well

He also sends messages when he knows I am busy:
Him: How have you been?
Me: Just walking out the door to class. Catch up later?

So why the one text every 5-7 days with no follow up? No second text? What is the purpose of THIS mind game? Is he just bored? The one time we did have a ~20 text exchange, he was taking 10 minute pauses between replies.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2017 at 11:21 pm

Hi Jane,

probably just to check if you will still reply to boost his ego..

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652 thoughts on “Let’s Find Out If Your Ex Boyfriend Is Playing Mind Games”