How To Know If Your Exes Rebound Relationship Will Fail

135 thoughts on “Let’s Find Out If Your Exes Rebound Relationship Will Fail”

Amy

January 21, 2018 at 4:05 pm

My bf and I have known each other for 24yrs. He pursued me when we were young, we dated for a few years but I broke up after he got a DUI. We remained friends, and got back together 4.5yrs ago, he moved in after just 6mon. Everyone always thought we eventually would get back together all those years, and thought we would just be together forever. After 3yrs, I took on a 2nd job (in a field I was passionate about), but over the next year and a half I lost friendships (they moved), 16 people to death, and my 2nd job became more like full time. I became very depressed & had anxiety. Things weren’t great during this time, and his short temper & compliant attitude didn’t help, but he tried by cleaning, cooking often, etc.. The week before Christmas, he broke up & said he was moving out to hopefully help me be happier; I also found out my father has cancer at the same time. Over the next couple weeks he told me he loved me but felt like he needed to stick to his decision right now, was still staying at the house (hadn’t packed anything), said he didn’t want any responsibilities right now, etc., would still make dinner & call himself daddy to our animals. He finally moved Dec. 31st, and when I asked him if he had met anyone or was talking to anyone he said absolutely not.

On Jan. 9th, after having the same profile pic of him & I for 4.5yrs and barely ever going on Facebook, he changed both his profile pic & cover photo to him with a girl kissing him on the cheek & put in a relationship, then posts about days that are “the best in the history of the world”. None of our close friends or relatives have “liked” any of it, they are in shock. When I asked him, he said he saw I unfriended him before that & that meant to him that I had cut the last string – I had deactivated my account for awhile to avoid questions from friends as not everyone knew, but did not unfriend him until this.

I am working on the No Contact, but as he still had items left at the house until just last week & is having something he bought for me before the breakup delivered, I have been trying but have to respond until we are done with that. He did ask about the animals & I, but I am not responding to anything personal right now.

Thoughts? I am having a very difficult time. I love him – I have for over 20yrs – but also hate him & wish he hurt more. I can’t even think of even going out with another guy right now. I know that I have work to do on myself, am I wrong to hope he comes back in the future?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 22, 2018 at 3:41 am

Hi Amy,

It’s to to talk to him about exchanging stuff, as long it’s only about and that’s right to focus in improving yourself first.. But ypu should be active in posting, that’s your indirect way of showing your improvements

Imogen

January 14, 2018 at 12:20 am

Hi, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me at the end of November with distance being an issue in our relationship. He was never ok with being long distance and always hated when we were apart, so I knew after living together for a year, being apart suddenly would be very difficult for us to cope with. When we met to break up he was absolutely devastated and crying and kept saying how he wanted me in his life and wanted to be friends with me and he sent me a text afterwards saying he’d always care a lot about me and always be there for me. Whilst we were together he was always very much more in love with me and needy in the relationship than I was. I’m not very open with my feelings due to the fear of getting hurt and I didn’t feel the need to publicise our relationship all over social media. 5 weeks after we broke up he met a girl and started seeing her straight away, she then flew back to Australia after they’d known each other for 2 weeks, but they’re already posting couple pictures and stuff on Instagram and constantly tagging each other in stuff on facebook. Since hes met her hes been a completely different person towards me, he’s been rude, telling me he doesnt want a friendship with me anymore hes moved on so I need to get a grip and get over it, and that he cares more about her than he does about me. Its hurting me that he could move on so quickly with someone he doesn’t even know and say all these things to me when he doesn’t even know this girl. He told me he had a great 2 years with me, and the person I know was so deeply in love with me I just can’t fathom how hes moved on so quickly. The person I knew would never hurt me like this, hes changed so much since hes met her and I feel like our whole relationship was a lie now after him telling me he doesn’t like being single. I just need advice as to whether you think he has truly moved on or do you think hes just convinced himself he has and using this new person, who is nothing like me in terms of expressing feelings as she is much more like him, to distract himself from our break up?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 14, 2018 at 10:50 pm

Hi Imogen,

she could be a rebound but check this one:
EBR 015: How To Get A Long Distance Boyfriend Back If He Has A New Girlfriend

Imogen

January 12, 2018 at 4:48 pm

Hi, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me at the end of November, with distance being an issue in our relationship. He was never ok with being long distance and used to miss me as soon as I walked out of a room, so I knew after living together for a year, being apart suddenly would be very difficult for us to cope with. Whilst we were together he was always so much more in love with me and needy in the relationship that I was. I’m not very open about my feelings and would only really say I love you in response to him telling me first. 5 weeks after we broke up he met a girl and started seeing her straight away and she flew back to Australia on Saturday after they’d known each other for 2 weeks. They’re already posting pictures of each other online and making it very known that they’re seeing each other. Its hurting me that he could move on so quickly with someone he doesn’t even know and tell me he cares more about her when hes known her for 2 weeks then he does about me when we were together for 2 years. He told me he had a great 2 years with me, and the person I know was so deeply in love with me I just can’t fathom how hes moved on so quickly. Please any advice regarding this situation would be greatly appreciated. Do you think hes actually moved on or has he just convinced himself hes moved on and using this newly found person as a distraction from how hes truly feeling? How is he so ok with the distance that he has with this girl but he wasn’t with the distance he had with me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 14, 2018 at 10:50 pm

Hi Imogen,

she could be a rebound but check this one:
EBR 015: How To Get A Long Distance Boyfriend Back If He Has A New Girlfriend

anon

October 17, 2017 at 9:07 pm

My ex and I dated for 3 years, I thought we were great for each other (we had the same outlooks, values, humor, even talked about a future together). Everything started to change when I got this new job that I hated with all my guts, I didn’t feel like myself anymore, it was like I was angry all the time. I think that’s what made him fall out of love with me, he said he “will always love me but the spark is gone and he’s ready to let me go”… It’s been 3 1/2 months since we broke up but he started seeing someone a week after we broke up and he’s already telling her he loves her (I asked him a little while ago if he started liking her while we were together he said “nope”.. do I believe?.. idk, but I know for sure he would have never cheated on me).. Now I no longer work at that job and have been doing nc for almost 45 days(we tried being friends before I started but it was too hurtful, he’s the one who wanted to be friends), been working on myself, I feel like my old self again. SO my questions are 1) do you think I can get him to fall back in love with me? 2) is it possible that he actually does love her in such a short period of time? (she’s younger than me and goes to school 7 hours away)

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 17, 2017 at 10:11 pm

It will depend on you.. We’re just here to assist and help increase your chances. And frankly, yes, it can be love because the longer their relationship goes the deeper it becomes..

jen

July 22, 2017 at 8:01 am

hi. me and my ex were together just over a year and my sons dad played a rather big part in our relationship ending he would just not show up to see my son and then me and my ex had to cancel plans alot plus other things that just added alot of stress to me and i ended up being really negative and stressed which meant our relationship ended. i think he is now seeing someone who lives over 2hours away that he met 3weeks after we broke up. it was hard enough for us to see each other sometimes and we live in the same place let alone trying to see her so i think its definately a rebound. my question is im not sure if there is any chance of us getting bck together because hes really difficult to read. like we have spoken since the split 7weeks ago but its like he stops himself for example he will make contact but then sometimes the conversation feels hardwork. but recently we spoke for awhile and made jokes like we used to which was 3days ago since then no contact. we havent seen each other since we split but are seeing each other wednesday as i have some stuff to collect. what body language do i look for to see if there is still something there? 2weeks before we split we was talking about marriage and how he wanted a family with me and how me being such a good mum just makes him love me even more we had spoken about it for months then he just said it was all too negative and i was so stressed he didnt know how to make it better he loves me and cares alot but the timing just isnt right. ive sorted my life i now get free time without having to rely on my sons dad i now go jogging to put the negative energy into something else so what do i next? im so worried about seeing him again

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 25, 2017 at 4:03 pm

that’s good that you’re talking again but avoid doing it the whole day. Always be the one to end the conversation at high point. Don’t rush.. especially if it’s like that, that he’s not wanting a relationship but will jump at the opportunity of sex, you will end up being friends with benefits if you rush things. You have to build more interest in him.. let him chase. let him be the one to wonder if he can get you back.. keep having your own life while you’re slowly building rapport with him.

Nana

May 31, 2017 at 4:03 am

I and my ex broke up on end of November last year. and never contacted each other. But He is still following my posts and sometimes “like” it.

I found out that he started to dating new girlfriend almost same period with we just broke up ( in November) . He didn’t know that I knew it until today. Somehow My FB showed ( people you might know….that was her (his new girl) page, I noticed that because her profile pic showed they were sitting together under the beautiful view…so .I left a comment there said “beautiful couple and great View!”

I don’t know if I did wrong thing with wrote comments ? Because I was mad, that he was suspected me have another guy (that was the reason we broke up, he had trust issues) but he actually got new girlfriend already. So I wanted let him know that I already knew his new girlfriend (maybe too late…)

Then, he found out my comment, let her deleted that pictures right away .and he also sent messages said ‘ hi, how are you? Hope you everything good.’ , I didn’t respond. Then one hour later, he sent another text” sorry I bothered you, take care’.

My question is, what he is thinking about? should I respond him message? And …do I still have chance to get him back?
I already got text bible, but don’t know what should I do…

Please help me

Thank you!

Nana

May 31, 2017 at 6:11 pm

Thank you Amor.
I sent a text to him ,told him that I am doing good.then,he responded me and told me he is actually living with her together now because she is pregnant . And he told me he still remembers good memories with me, and he is still thinking I’m a wonderful person. He doesn’t want to me mad…. ….kind like that

My question is, does he still want to get me back? Or just trying be nice to me?
She got pregnant after one month we broke up, so I guess my ex rebounded to her and made her pregnant during his trip ( in November). So, is his rebound relationship getting serious relationship?

Anyway, I know that I should move on…sad…
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 1, 2017 at 4:47 pm

let’s he does miss you but with his situation, it’s going to be complicated.. you should move on…if he wants you, he has to make things right first.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 31, 2017 at 4:37 pm

it’s hard to say what he really is thinking about but if you want to try, then you have to start talking with him again.

Raine

April 13, 2017 at 1:29 pm

I don’t think my comment posted so I’m posting one again.

My ex boyfriend and I were together for a little under 4 years. We have been broken up for at least 1 1/2 years now. Had has been courting this girl recently (a classmate of his) for about 4 months now and he already loves her. He told me that he still has feelings for me Christmas 2016 but then he was already courting this girl. He told me that the girl was there when he was down in the dumps and she sort of saved him and he then developed feelings for her. In his own words it was sort of like a Prince Charming complex. He fell for someone whobsaved him. He recently told me that he was sorry for telling me that he did not love me anymore because the truth was that he still does, but he learned to handle it properly and that he learned to love again. And that the love he has for this girl knocks-out the love has has for me, along with all of our memories together.
Now I know that it has been a long time since we have been in a relationship and this may actually be a serious relationship. But sometimes I feel that maybe he is just replacing our relationship with this new one. He usually is serious when it comes to relationships and he never goes into one that has no future in it. I still love my ex boyfriend despite him blaming the whole breakup on me. And I really want to get back together with him.
I do not know what to do. Do I still have a chance to win him back? What should I do?

Raine

April 18, 2017 at 11:03 am

Thanks Amor, I see where you’re coming from. Thanks for the insight.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 25, 2017 at 3:38 pm

You’re welcome!
Raine

April 15, 2017 at 8:58 pm

Hey Amor,
Im not sure if my comment posted again.
I just had another question. Is the Grass is Greener and Being There approach still applicable even if my ex thinks so lowly of our relationship because he is basing his rating of our relationship on the ending and not the whole 4 year relationsyearwe had. Thanks for getting back to me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 16, 2017 at 7:30 am

that’s actually the reason why you should use the being there approach, so you can change how he sees you and that’s also why you should massively improve yourself.
Raine

April 14, 2017 at 9:29 am

Hey Amor,

Just a quick question. Is the grass is greener and being there approach still applicable even if my ex rates our relationship or me as a girlfriend low (maybe a 2-3)? This is because he is basing the rating on the ending of the relationship and not the relationship as a whole. Is that hurting my chances, especially since he is creating new and better memories with his new girl.
Thanks for the help.
Raine

April 13, 2017 at 10:55 pm

Hey Amor,

Thanks for the advice. The being there strategy is genius.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 13, 2017 at 8:04 pm

approach it like she’s a grass is greener.. follow the advice in this one:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)

Raine

April 13, 2017 at 12:35 pm

Hi Amor,
My ex boyfriend and I were together for a little under 4 years. We have been broke up for about a year and a half and he is now courting a girl for about 4 months now and he says its serious and that he loves her. He says that he loves her because the girl saved him in a time where he was really down in the dumps and eventually came to love her. He himself said that it was like a Prince Charming effect. He says that his feelings for me havent really gone away, that he does still love me but not the same as before and that he has learned to love another person. And that new love knocks-out the love he has for me away, along with all of the memories we have together. Sometimes I feel like he is just replacing our old relationship with this new one but I can never be too sure because he is serious when it comes to relationships and never does he go into one that he doesnt see a future in it.
Now I know its been a long time since we have been together and this may really be a serious relationship but I really want to get back together with my ex.
What should I do?
Gail

April 1, 2017 at 11:18 pm

I’m not sure if my last comment posted, so I’m trying again.

My ex-boyfriend and I were together for 4 years and it has been a yeah and a half since we have broken up (November 2015). During the breakup he had been casually asking to get back together but I refused because he did not show much effort. He recently told me that up until October 2016 he was still open to us getting back together, but (maybe) due to peer pressure he moved on because his friends told him he had been wallowing for too long. The following month he has started going out with a new girl. We had open communication ever since and I even told him I wanted to get back together on February 2017. However he rejected me because he said that he did not want to seem like a player by dropping the new girl, that he did not want to hurt the new girl, and that he was in-love and happy with the new girl and that everything was going easy (although he hasnt told his family about this girl). We had been talking daily up until the last week of March 2017 because the new girl’s friend saw that he was communicating with me. So he has now stopped all forms of communication so he would not hurt the girl and so that he maee it clear that he is still angry and hurting from the things I have done to him.

My ex-boyfriend is the type of guy to take relationships seriously thats why it is hard for me to decipher whether the new girl is a rebound or not. But the way he has been acting, saying he is already in-love and that he still is very much bitter and angry at me for what happened between us shows that he has not completely moved on. I think that he is having a difficult time deciding what to do (given that he has someone who loves him but hurt him and a new girl who he has just started seeing that has potential). Maybe he is just letting his anger takeover and that he is being stubborn (he really is head-strong) by not listening to his emotional side. At one point when he was angry he told me that he will prove to me that he and the new girl will be end-game.

Is the new girl a rebound? I’m 3 days in the NC phase, should I continue NC even if already has blocked me and has not been replying prior to the NC? What should I do?

Gail

April 10, 2017 at 9:15 pm

Hi Amor,

Thanks for getting back to me. I will stop talking to our mutual friend. And I think I need to restart the count for NC. Thanks for the advice.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 11, 2017 at 9:49 pm

ok, restart nc.. you’re welcome!
Gail

April 9, 2017 at 2:10 am

Hey Amor,

A mutual friend of my ex and I told me that I should just move on and that trying to get back together now is just too late because he has someone new in his life. This friend of ours told me that he was serious courting the new girl and that he is really happy with her. In fact, this friend told me that keeping in contact with me makes my ex feel guilty and it was stressful for my ex to hide that we were still in contact to other people. According to our friend my ex has liked this new girl since August 2016 but he never pursued her becausehe was still in-love with me. And he even admitted to our mutual friend that he still had feelings for me around December 2016.
When my ex and I were talking early this year he told me that if things dont work out with the new girl he would consider giving us another shot. It sounds like Ii just his backup and that there is no reason for him to actually choose me over the new girl unless he gets dumped.
I know you said this girl was probably a rebound but things arent looking too good for me. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 6:51 pm

stop talking to the mutual friend about your ex.. because whatever you say to that friend will reach him.. I think you need to restart the count of nc..
Gail

April 2, 2017 at 7:22 pm

Hi Amor,

Thanks for the advice. I will continue the NC and see what happens. Thank you again.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2017 at 4:52 pm

You’re welcome!
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 2, 2017 at 4:34 pm

Hi Gail,

yes, she’s probably a rebound.. And do at least 30 days of nc.. be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media even if you’re blocked..

Gail

April 1, 2017 at 3:03 am

My ex-boyfriend and I were together for 4 years and it has been a yeah and a half since we have broken up (November 2015). During the breakup he had been casually asking to get back together but I refused because he did not show much effort. He recently told me that up until October 2016 he was still open to us getting back together, but (maybe) due to peer pressure he moved on because his friends told him he had been wallowing for too long. The following month he has started going out with a new girl. We had open communication ever since and I even told him I wanted to get back together on February 2017. However he rejected me because he said that he did not want to seem like a player by dropping the new girl, that he did not want to hurt the new girl, and that he was in-love and happy with the new girl and that everything was going easy (although he hasnt told his family about this girl). We had been talking daily up until the last week of March 2017 because the new girl’s friend saw that he was communicating with me. So he has now stopped all forms of communication so he would not hurt the girl and so that he maee it clear that he is still angry and hurting from the things I have done to him.
Is the new girl a rebound? And should I continue NC even if already has blocked me and has not been replying prior to the NC? What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 2, 2017 at 4:35 pm

Hi Gail,

yes, she’s probably a rebound.. And do at least 30 days of nc.. be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media even if you’re blocked..
Gail

April 1, 2017 at 4:19 am

Update:
My ex-boyfriend is the type of guy to take relationships seriously thats why it is hard for me to decioher whether the new girl is a rebound or not. But the way he has been acting, saying he is already in-love and that he still is very much bitrer and angry at me for what happened between us shows that he has not completely moved on. And that maybe he is just letting his anger takeover and that being stubborn (he really is head-strong) to listen to his emotional side and at one point he told me that he will prove to me that he and the new girl will be end-game.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 2, 2017 at 4:35 pm

Hi Gail,

yes, she’s probably a rebound.. And do at least 30 days of nc.. be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media even if you’re blocked..

Casey

March 8, 2017 at 1:41 am

I was with my ex for the last six years, we broke up two and half years ago after I found out he cheated. I packed up all my stuff and moved 7 hours away. I didn’t contact him for a month he begged me back. I was in love with him and missed him so much. The next year was great this past year has been terrible. I have trust issues and insecurities and being in a long distance relationship was hard. I found out he was on. Craigslist and match texts from bartenders and lies. I completely became this psychotic bitch breaking things just all bad. I went and saw him two weeks ago it didn’t go very well. He likes to drink and I’m not a good drunk. It has been completely toxic. We have this amazing connection and we love one another. Well he met some bartender and now they are in a relationship it has barely been two weeks. He sent me her picture said terrible things told me how she was so much better. I told him if it was so serious why don’t they updated their FB status within five minutes the both had they were in a relationship. My ex is very successful he’s in his 50’s I’m younger. They haven’t liked any of their status or pictures. I don’t know what to do. I know I have to do the NC, get myself healthy. Do you think this relationship is anything serious and what do I do to get him back. I know we both need counseling it’s been so hard. I have been so invested and he just runs to some sluzzy with huge tits.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 1:04 pm

Hi Casey,

you mean you got back together after breaking up two years ago right? You actually said what you need to do.. Start nc and be very active in improving yourself. Be active in posting in social media but dont social media stalk them..

Chambers

February 28, 2017 at 12:38 am

I’m a male in my thirties and was with my partner for 5 years. We were long distance with me returning to NYC from SF next month. In September, he met someone who lives in Canada but was visiting NYC for business and my partner basically fell for him and told me that it made him have doubts about us. After a month of me flying out there to talk things out with my partner, we decided to “go on break” so he could finish grad school and find a job, etc. We decided 2 months, no contact.

We spoke here and there- after 6 weeks of NC I suddenly emailed him before Christmas and the response I got was a bit surprising. It was very cold and distant and in it he basically started bringing up things that were long in the past and that he never brought up before as issues – he alluded to the fact that he was unhappy for the last 2 years we were together which didn’t really make sense to me and sounded like him rationalizing his decision. He also admitted that he was spending the holidays with the new guy up in Canada.

I went to NYC last week on business and I reached out to him and he was agreeable, if not excited, to meet me. We had blocked each other on social media so neither of us knows what the other is up to. When he arrived, he began telling me that he was hoping I had moved on because he is now “with” the guy from Canada. He said it was serious, that the two had fallen for each other the night they met and he admitted that when he said to me to go “on break”- it was really so he could pursue the guy. He isn’t thinking long term and doesn’t seem to care that there is no happy ending here unless one of them switch citizenships.

It was an upsetting conversation and sadly it just downgraded into an argument for an hour before he finally left and said “I didn’t want to meet with you…because I didn’t want to hurt you again”.

The next day we emailed each other and he basically said “I do miss you a lot, and I am curious to hear about all the events of your life and it could be I made the biggest mistake of my life ending things with you as you are returning to NYC next month, but I am following my heart. I would really like to meet you for coffee or dinner one night when you are back here, but only if you are okay with it. I do not want to talk about “us” anymore. We are over, and I am with someone else. If this hurts you and you can’t accept it, then I understand and will trust that at some point we will talk when the time is right- but if you can be okay with just a friendly catch up, let’s do that when you are back”

I know the way I painted him sounds a bit like a selfish jerk- he wasn’t ever like this and I know him well enough to know that he doesn’t really intend to do/say the things he does, he is fumbling through a situation he has never been in before. I’ve thought about it over the last 4-5 months and do want to give things a real shot with me back in NYC (and I made a lot of my own mistakes during the last year of our relationship) but wondering if I should just back off and let this take it’s course when I am back in NYC or if I should try to replace some of the last negative memories and stigma that he associates (I didn’t take the break up well and had done a few of the classic mistakes such as the novel length emails, the giving into to anything he wanted, being angry, inducing guilt, etc) with our end that must make the new guy very appealing in comparison.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 28, 2017 at 7:13 pm

Hi Chambers,
The thing is he thinks you’re chasing him. I think if you want to meet, meet. But just to establish that you’re ok. Don’t say you want to be friends, just be friendly. After that, try the no contact rule but the difference is you have to unblock him and be very active in improving yourself and in posting in social media, to help establish that you are moving on before slowly rebuilding rapport.

Nic

February 22, 2017 at 10:28 am

I’m not sure if my last comment posted, so I’m trying again.

I was wondering if someone that you previously dated could be a rebound relationship. My ex-boyfriend of about a month seems to have reconnected with a girl that he was previously sort of dating prior to he and I meeting. When I say sort of dating, I mean she repeatedly used him to cheat on her what looks like now ex-boyfriend. She always chose the boyfriend over him, and I know this hurt him quite a bit, although he downplayed it when he told me about it.

I don’t know if there’s anything going on between them, as she does live an hour and a half away. I just know that he broke up with me about a month ago, as of a little over a week ago it seems her Facebook status regarding her relationship has changed, and when he reactivated his Instagram account he immediately started to follow her again. He had previously unfollowed her because it had made me uncomfortable that she was liking literally every single one of his pictures except for the ones that involved me. She was doing this despite being with and living with her boyfriend.

I do very much want to be back with him, but I’m not sure what to do in this situation. I don’t know why he has gone back to someone who only used him and always put him as second best, or even if he has, while he’s thrown away someone, ie me, who loves him unconditionally and has always put him first. I think he has trying to blame me for the breakup, but knowing what I know now I think he’s more projecting on to me his own insecurities and issues.

We are currently in no contact, although I did send him a letter a couple of weeks ago telling you how I really did feel about him, as I’m not always good at expressing myself when it comes to my emotions and I didn’t get the chance to say lot at the time of the breakup because I was so emotional and distraught. I’m not a firm believer in the 30 day no contact rule being universal for everyone. I do know that he needs time to process everything, plus he blocked me on everything unprovoked within a day of the breakup, so I don’t have much choice as far as no contact. I’m very much afraid of losing him completely, especially to someone who doesn’t deserve him. Do you have any advice and what to do in this situation? Is it possible that even though there was something between them before, granted not a substantial relationship like he and I had where we talked about a future home, family, etc, and his family absolutely loved me (they’re apparently a tough crowd), that should could be a rebound? I just can’t wrap my head around how someone as untrusting of everyone as he is could trust someone like her. I’m a rather humble person, but I know she doesn’t compare at all to me. I just don’t get it, and I’m hurting really bad.

Any advice is highly appreciated. Thank you for your time.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 22, 2017 at 10:24 pm

Hi Nic,

either he’s just using her because he know she’s using him or he really loves her.. because those are the only two reasons that I could think of on why you would repeatedly go back to somebody who hurt you badly. Right now, focus in improving yourself. If after nc they’re still together, for me you should move on. But if you want, you can still try to rebuild rapport..

Nic

February 22, 2017 at 1:18 am

My question is, can a guy get into a rebound relationship with someone he previously dated?

My ex dumped me a month ago, and deactivated his social media accounts. I see as of a few days ago he’s reactivated and back to following this girl that he dated prior to me. He had deleted her because she was making me uncomfortable – liking every single picture that didn’t have me in it.

The back story on this is this girl used him when they were dating. She was cheating on her long term boyfriend with him, even though she lives an hour and a half away. She continued to choose her boyfriend over my ex over and over again. I know it hurt him, although he never admitted it and referred to her as “crazy”… but still maintained the Instagram connection with her.

I’ve noticed she now appears to be single, all of a few weeks after he broke up with me. As soon as he got back on Instagram, he immediately started following her again. I’m not sure what to make of all of this. I question if I was the rebound, even though she treated him like garbage and never committed to him… yet I fear there may be something going on between them again. I know I made him feel amazing. He told me over and over. He also told me in the first person who ever made him see being a husband and father as a reality. I think the biggest reason for the breakup was him projecting his insecurities onto me.

I want him back, but I’m very worried about what is going on with this girl. It took him all of 4 weeks (that I know of, could have been sooner) to bring this girl back into his life. I don’t know if this is his way of dealing with our breakup, or something more. He’s someone with major trust issues, so I just can’t see how he could ever trust sometime who continuously put him second, never chose him over her boyfriend, and is clearly a liar and cheater. It truly baffles me, but above that really hurts, as well. I know his family loved me, and I can’t imagine his mom supporting anything with this girl if she has the slightest idea of who she really is.

I do want him back. We’re in no contact, although I don’t have much choice because he completely blocked me out of his life for absolutely no reason. Any advice?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 22, 2017 at 10:24 pm

Hi Nic,

either he’s just using her because he know she’s using him or he really loves her.. because those are the only two reasons that I could think of on why you would repeatedly go back to somebody who hurt you badly. Right now, focus in improving yourself. If after nc they’re still together, for me you should move on. But if you want, you can still try to rebuild rapport..

Sirena

February 19, 2017 at 11:43 pm

hi amor,

last summer i met this guy unexpectedly and we really hit it off, we started talking about soul mate stuff. I had the feeling he was falling face first for me – the things he would say and the way he would talk about our future both terrified and excited me. he said this was the best and most healthy relationship he has been in for a long time. then suddenly at the start of December and holiday time he stopped seeing me and went back to his toxic ex! I was devastated, I couldn’t believe it but also wanted to respect his decision if he had unfinished business with her.

I did the no contact rule and on day 33 he started liking my social media posts. He had been posting songs that I knew were about me, but I didn’t do anything to react to them, and all signs of the toxic ex had very recently vanished from social media for the past week. Less than a week later I felt confident enough to send out a feeler text, because a band we both loved was coming to town….. and my ego was more than bruised when he Didn’t respond. I thought that just meant that I had read those mixed messages wrong, and he was still dating the toxic girl…. until today I see he is definitely no longer seeing his ex and I think he’s already jumped into dating someone else!?

That means within less than a 2 week window all of this has happened. Is he rebounding to finally move on from the toxic ex, and I wouldn’t want him right now anyway – or, is that super deep strong connection I felt that we had actually nothing and I should move on now?

Sirena

March 5, 2017 at 12:54 am

Amor,

Exactly why I don’t know what to do. It’s been less than a month since things got broken off with the toxic ex. So, while I’m very aware of the ‘rebound factor’ and Don’t want to be that… it still hurts and confuses me to see that he is very likely already jumped into seeing someone else. He is a very captive audience and has been watching all of my stories, I know that has to be somewhat intentional, because he made a point to NOT look at anything when he went back to the toxic ex.

I think that he doesn’t know what to say to me – because he broke things off with me (which yes, hurt a lot.) for something that obviously very quickly failed. Maybe he just doesn’t want to deal with Anything? I don’t know how to proceed to get on speaking terms with him again, since he didn’t respond to my friendly/trying-to-be-interesting text or see where his head is at. Should I just continue to be the ungettable girl and see how things play out with the ‘maybe’ rebound girl? Should I start another round of no contact? Do guys on some level Know they need/are getting into a rebound?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 5, 2017 at 8:48 pm

Yeah, continue improving yourself even while you’re trying to build rapport. Hmm.. what I meant is that, the new girl can be a rebound, but she more like isn’t because he’s not replying to you. More likely she’s a grass is greener case. Check the links below:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Let’s Find Out If Your Exes Rebound Relationship Will Fail
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2017 at 3:41 pm

Hi Sirena,

yeah, the new girl can be a rebound but what I don’t get is, if he’s using a rebound, why wouldn’t he reply ro you? I’m not saying he should use you, what I’m saying is wouldn’t you be an easier rebound because you’ve already talked before? Or maybe he’s not sure because he knows he had hurt you

amanda

January 13, 2017 at 11:17 pm

my story starts in November 2015 when I met him we got in a relation very fast he was madly in love with me and was so serious about this relation and he met my mother and I met his parents and everyone could see how he was crazy about me but I had lots of trust issues and I kept breaking up with him many times because silly things he did but I had trust issues and treated him badly but everytime it only lasts for 2 weeks max and then he calls me and we get back again and he changes what bothered me in him we never cut off even when we break up so it was easy to get back everytime until June 2015 we broke up and this time we cut off for two months and half and he met a girl and they were just friends and then he contacted me again after summer in September and we got back again in October but this time he was so cold and I knew it was because of me and what I did in the past and I changed but after a month at the end of November he told me that he tried but he doesn’t have feelings for me and that he needs a break but want us to still be friends we work together so we talked and hung out from time to time and then after 2 months, in January 2017 he got in a relation with this girl he met in summer while were broke and he came and told me that he got in a relation and that I can meet her one day and that he wants us to be friends(me and him) because we shouldn’t cut off just because it didn’t work between us I told him it’s okay and now we see each other at work and we joke and talk with each other all the time and text each from time to another mostly about work but I can’t do this anymore I still have feelings for him but I can’t stay away from him I know I was wrong but i can’t he didn’t give a chance to prove that I’ll never leave him again . is it he in a rebound relation? and what should I do should I cut with him and just move on? did he really move on that fast?

amanda

April 25, 2017 at 9:55 pm

okay so i don’t know if you remember me but my ex was in the grass is greener and now he and his new gf are in a break and he is so sad and he told me that they have problems but he didn’t tell me details w still talk from time to time about work and see each others there he is feeling so bad for her and i feel sad for him and for seeing him like that but i knew from some of his friends that she is treating him very bad btw i did the nc for month and didn’t text him on his bd it was awkward at first in work we didn’t look to each other for weeks then we started talking again and he came to my bd he is very friendly but i am tired i can’t take it no more or see him with and act friendly i still have feelings for him and i don’t know what i should do should i give up? also he is so in love with her i don’t think he will ask me to get back togther even if they broke up …. what should i do now ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 28, 2017 at 4:50 pm

Follow the advice on this one too:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)
amanda

April 22, 2017 at 2:31 am

so it is been a while now i don’t know if you remember me but me and my ex are now friends we talk from time to time and hang out with our common friend what is new is that his new girl friend asked him for a break and now they are in a break she doesn’t even like his posts or text him a lot what should i do now ? be friendly and go out with him i see him in work but we don’t get in touch what is the best thing i can do and btw he loves her so much is it a rebound ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 28, 2017 at 4:13 pm

Follow the advice on this one too:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)
amanda

January 24, 2017 at 2:04 am

okay his birthday is tomorrow should i text him as you we are supposed to be friends i’ve been in the nc for week also what should i do after the nc and when i see him at work
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 24, 2017 at 1:56 pm

Nope you should greet him.. Check the link below on why you shouldn’t. Just be civil with him at work.. There’s another link for that too. You can initiate contact after nc.. And be very active in improving yourself during and after nc.
EBR 057: Birthdays And The No Contact Rule
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend
amanda

January 14, 2017 at 6:50 pm

I read it, but still don’t know what to do. should I move on because we fought a lot so The Grass is Greener and he is not in a rebound or he is on a rebound and I should still be friend with him? and why he still contacts me and jokes and flirt with me and sometimes mentions old things from our relation in a humor way. am i overthinking and should just move on?
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 15, 2017 at 3:42 pm

nope..she’s not a rebound..she’s a grass is greener for him.. he still talks to you because that’s what he’s used to do.. try doing the no contact rule for at least 30 days and then focus in improving yourself
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 14, 2017 at 3:30 pm

Hi Amanda,

I think it’s a grass is greener. Check this one:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

C

January 6, 2017 at 12:30 am

Hi,

I was dating my ex for 7 months. Things were good, then ok, then slowly fell apart. It tried everything to get him to stay, but last we spoke was in Oct, after i suspected he may be doing stuff behind my back. I said nasty things to him, he even blocked me on FB. I did NC and didnt speak to him. Found out he started dating this other girl, the one i suspected. Its been over 60 days and i found out he was engaged to this girl after like 3 months. I wanted to contact but not sure how to handle this now. It seems like they are serious, and he has forgotten me. What would you suggest, wait longer, contact now, moveon.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 7, 2017 at 6:20 am

You should move on..

Jane

December 19, 2016 at 3:10 am

Hey amor,
Idk if you remember me. I have commented on here few times about my ex of four years that is a on and off relationship that he always broke up with me and came back. and last month he went to another state to see this girl. Well she came here last week and spent the weekend here and I saw her post a photo with him.. I was worried that he is serious with her if she visited him now. But then I realiZed she actually graduated with him 13 years ago and used to live in my state.but she did still come here to visit him clearly.. Also today online I saw another girl from his mma school post a group photo with him and another couple at a activity place. And I noticed he likes a lot of her photos and comments on her stuff too. I’m wondering if he is not serious about either women? Or can he have more then one rebound? I also thought it was weird that today he posted a video that I took of him from a year ago on our trip cross country when we made up the last time. Best vacation ever. I’m sure I’m over thinking but isn’t it weird that he went back a year into his phone to upload this old video from our vacation that we made up on which actually happened this same time of here.. I’m confused and not sure what to think. It’s going on three months at the end of this month. Still no contact and my number is blocked. What are your thoughts?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 22, 2016 at 10:01 am

Hi Jane,

yup I remember! That’s too much of a coincidence, maybe he remembered it, and if you’re still active in posting, maybe he checks that too but if you’re blocked, it can mean he’s not yet ready to talk.. and yes, he might be exploring dating by seeing a lot of women or maybe it didn’t work out with the other girl..

Emma-Louise

December 17, 2016 at 6:06 pm

Okay so this gets awfully complicated but it all ties in together..

I was with my ex for 2.5 years and we were so happy we split in the April over a petty thing really and it just went from there.

We agreed to stay friends because it would be a waste to just throw away 2 years of memories. I didn’t want to stay friends because I knew exs don’t become friends but I agreed because I didn’t want to lose him completely.
We met up every now and then and talked about things exchanged stuff and spent a few hour and together once a week and it was getting to a point where it was good. We would flirt and laugh like normal.

We agreed in July to try seeing each other exclusively and that went down well we would meet up more flirt and kiss and even slept together at one point.

A month into this he started acting strange and I asked what was wrong he told me he’s kissed someone else on a night out and felt guilty and was angry that he had waited almost a month to tell me.

We talked and agreed to just go back to friends I was obviously still hurt but I didn’t want to lose him.

Everything was going well we would meet up go for a few drinks and go the pictures and even still flirt with each other. Until one night in September I told him I’d been on a date with someone else and I felt guilty about it because I still loved him. He then decided to tell me that he was seeing someone else. I felt like my whole world came crashing down apparently they’d been seeing each other for a few weeks and he was only just telling me.

I was heartbroken and all he said was sorry and gave me a hug and walked away.
A few days later stupidly I sent him a ridiculously long message telling him how I felt and he never replied. A few days later he text me telling me he’d unfriend me on Facebook and he was going to give it a shot with this new girl.. safe to say I was so upset I replied to him telling him I was sorry and all I want is to see him happy.
From then on I enforced the 30 day no contact rule successfully might I add! I met someone else and I was happy for a few days.

Until it came too the end of no contact and I reached out to my ex.. (I thought I was over him) I just casually asked how he was and he came back telling me he was unhappy and missed me and asked if we could meet up to talk.. at this point I’d ended my relationship with the person I was seeing. We met up and low and behold every feeling I had came rushing back as soon as I seen him.

We talked and laughed for hours I asked him how his relationship was going and he told me it was the complete opposite of ours and he missed me. He was constantly arguing with her and she was the complete opposite of me she has a really bad background of drugs and has two kids from a previous relationship and she’s also bisexual. I’m not sounding big headed but she’s a downgrade.

I tried my hardest to be there for my ex without getting involved in his relationship we would text without her knowing and meet up every now and then for a catch up.

A few weeks ago I got stupidly drunk and told him I still had feelings for him and it was killing me watching him be with someone else. The next day when I was sober he phoned me and told me what I had said and I died of embarrassment, he then admitted he still had feelings for me and wants us to try again at some point he just couldn’t see his relationship falling apart right now. I didn’t really say much to that I changed the subject.

A week or so later we met up and went into town to see the Christmas festival and we had a really good day before he left he gave me a hug and told me he’d see me soon.

When I got home he text me telling me his girlfriend had caused an argument because she could smell my perfume on his coat and I felt so guilty. He told me he had sorted it but we have to be more careful about it next time.
A few days ago my ex came to my side of the town to go on a night out with his mates and watch the game. He text me telling me he wasn’t out so I told him not to text me and enjoy his night.

The next morning I got a phone call off him telling me he snapped last night and argued with his girlfriend because she accused him of being in town with me, thankfully he stuck up for me and told her she was out of order bringing me into it.
Apparently they argued until 4 in the morning and apparently the conversation got heated.

Throughout the day my ex text me and told me what was going on with him and his girlfriend and at about 6:30 I got a phone call off him telling me he’s has enough and he’s called it quits with her he can’t do it anymore. So they’ve split up.

It’s been about 3 days since they split but she’s gone a bit crazy she is constantly arguing with him and when he doesn’t text her back she rings his mum. He’s had enough and wants her out of his life.

I still love my ex so much and I want nothing more than to be with him but right now I’m not too sure what to do?

What’s the next step after a rebound relationship has ended?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 21, 2016 at 5:42 am

Hi Emma,

I dont know if yoy saw my reply to your previous post but I’ll just paste it here.. if you have further questions, don’t hesitate to ask..

Hi Emma,

if you want him back, then you’re so close now.. Just continue being friendly.. Dont say anything negative about the other girl

Céleste Vermaelen

December 17, 2016 at 5:38 pm

Hi,
I just found out that my ex is together with the girl who we had a huge fight about. This girl has a crush on my ex and since we broke up he started talking to her. He said to me that he doesn’t wants to see me because he has still feelings for me. He also said to me that he thought I was not happy with him which is not true! I love him so much, I really think he is my soulmate and I know he thinks the same way about me. He doesn’t trusts me anymore and he is done with fights. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just wanted to start the no contact rule but maybe he will get over me in that time and doesn’t want me back anymore.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 21, 2016 at 12:33 am

Hi Celeste,

So, do you plan on keeping in contact with him?

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