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cammi
December 12, 2016 at 2:48 am
cammi again,
and wow today I saw that she went to dinner with his family… and met his parents when I never got the chance to! and she told her ex… and her ex told me! why would she need to tell he ex “oh i met my new boyfriends family” to rub it in because he never did… and they’ve only known been together for 3 weeks. wow such a fast rebound…
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 13, 2016 at 4:45 pm
HI Cammi,
She’s probably using your ex to make her ex jealous. How did you act in dinner?
cammi
December 11, 2016 at 3:29 am
Hi!!
I am seeing my ex bf (ryan) with my other friend on Monday the 12th for dinner.. and he has a new girlfriend. It happened fairly quick and the ex of her bf (john) messaged me and found me too. It’s very complicated but yes… apparently john said Cynthia (new gf) is still snap chatting him (her ex) and came to say hi to him at work.. tapped on his shoulder then went off.. she has dating my new bf but after 3 years with john… we all think this is too quick when they were already saying baby and love you after 2-3 weeks into ryan and cynthia dating. The situation is very sticky- I have not contacted my ex bf since the new gf and him uploading photos of them on snapchat and other social media places (wechat) and changing his whatsapp display pic for her,, since john was never that cheesy nor clingy, and loves this new attention from Ryan. I told john him being in the picture still means she is not over him because you let go of an ex and cut ties like ryan and I did to give your new relo a chance… so I don’t understand why she is.. considering ryan knew she was still iffy and had feelings for her ex and didn’t know what to do. So yes it is a rebound… moving too fast.. but how can I make myself look good in his eyes for dinner.. it can go two ways. 1- Act my normal bubbly self and be fun and just calm so he acts surprised as to why I don’t care? or 2- He will be glad I don’t care about him and his new gf and will be at peace… (since all my friends and his friends find his overly lovey-dovey snapchats very intense and infatuated type of thing).
John is writing her an apology letter and I know my ex bf may not care now and show her that he’s fine talking to her, but deep down he is a very jealous, obsessive person and will make him upset and see it as weird… and she won’t like being controlled or to lose her freedom as John says.. she dislikes those certain qualities and being stubborn (which ryan is and lazy) so the presents and time won’t last forever… They are both 22 and john is 3 years older! but the reason they didn’t work is because he wasn’t as affectionate and didn’t introduce his parents to her and yeah.. lacked spark. But still… she is being very shady and not letting go as she was considering sleeping with her ex bf (john) but said she couldn’t 4 weeks ago because of still having feelings for him so it would be hard to keep it strictly sex; and the fact my ex bf advised her to not since he was doing that with me and it fu**s with your head he says. SO now… they are very happy but everyone is shocked and is certain they won’t last forever but to let them be and move on without moving on. Which I have, i am very logical!
Just need your opinion on the matter and for DINNER on monday 12th of december.. and the whole cynthia still having strings attached to her ex even in a new relationship…
cammi
December 16, 2016 at 3:19 am
I don’t think it’ll happen often.. I am keeping away and not contacting him nor is he contacting me. But she on the other hand is contacting her ex via Snapchat everyday even just to keep a streak going.. and purposely send him a snap with the caption “when a handsome man makes you coffee” but then on her own story wall it says “when bryan makes you coffee<3" why are you rubbing it in? and she agreed 4 weeks ago that her new bf (my ex) could be a rebound and that she could be blinded.. but went with the flow.. and now its super serious way too quick.. my ex bf gets infatuated and rushes.. so shes met his parents and yeah.. but her ex is still around and she replies him whereas me and my ex have 0 communication,which is fine. so what do i do next?! let her flirt her way and make my ex bf jealous on her own terms since she isn't over her own ex hahaha
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 17, 2016 at 6:39 pm
she gets to do that with her ex because she is the one that’s being chased. Maybe she likes the validation she feels having two guys in her life..sooner or later, ryan will get tired of her..he may miss and compare you to her but it would be better for you if he sees you better than the person you were before, not just better than the girl he’s with
cammi
December 15, 2016 at 5:04 am
Ryan (ex) and my friend and I had dinner on monday night and it was all good.. no awkward silences and just typical us being friendly. We laughed a lot and just usual talking and we mentioned this guy he knows that was jealous of named Kiros. And then my friend priya, and I were wondering why kiros was liking other girls pictures and I was purposely trying to get him mad HAHA. Then yeah we said let’s go shisha/hookah to smoke and he said yeah I’ll see, have work early tomorrow so he said what about thursday you guys free? or the weekend? And i looked at him and said “sorry im busy” and laughed.. why would he try to see us again? which was weird.. maybe an excuse? But then yeah I was tipsy and dancing and singing so as we were going shisha he said na and so my friend and I walked him to the car park and we hugged him bye. Then he calls me to say “hey where are you.. want a lift to hookah lounge?” so we went in his car and i was surprised he called me and not my friend priya (considering she and him were facebook messaging) Then yeah in his car i would usually change his music and place my music on from my phone and he was laughing like “here we go again” and I said yeah you know the rules hahaha! i was still tipsy so i was dancing and singing along and he just kept laughing and he would place the volume down and I said “naa naa mate, you know the rules! volume needs to be even, i see you ” and he just laughed really loud hahaha! I grabbed his face and he was smiling and looking at me dancing. Then at shisha/hookah carpark I told him to come and my friend said yeah 1 puff only… and he was hesitant but came anyway! then we were smoking and he had a hickey on his neck (ew from her) and i only just realised which is fine.. then we got the shisha and started smoking and took turns but then my other friend came to say hi and as those two were talking about bollywood ryan kepy saying “one more puff and I have to go” we said where? he said I have work at 7am but that he had to be somewhere (his gf’s home lol) and then yeah i wouldnt give him the shisha and i pinched him and then he’d pinch me and laugh and try to get it off of me and I said no and there was flirtatious stuff happening!
So eventually he left and my friend said “woah he was flirty, and vibes were good… it seemed like you two were dating again in the car, your inside jokes, him pinching you and you tapping on his cheek to help the smoke to come out and how he was looking at you at dinner and wearing the watch you got for his birthday” so yes.. i sensed the same vibes and he was just comfortable with me and glancing looks at eachother but then I’d quickly look away. and this one weird thing he said… when we were discussing Kiros the guy i like and find attractive and ryan knows and got jealous before. Ryan said “I don’t get (while laughing awkwardly) why you priya (our friend) get annoyed about this monica girl when your current boyfriend dated her 10 years ago hahaha, and cammi (me) I don’t get why you’re getting angry or care if kiros likes other girls photos? ” to his reply i said “ryan when someone tells you they like you then like someone else’s photo its weird” and he went quiet… my friend said maybe he got jealous cause we kept talking about kiros during dinner a lot and he wanted to suss out the info between you and kiros.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 15, 2016 at 11:59 am
Yeah that was a good night out.. If that happens more often,especially once they have fights, there’s a chance he’ll miss you more
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 13, 2016 at 4:45 pm
HI Cammi,
She’s probably using your ex to make her ex jealous. How did you act in dinner?
M
November 27, 2016 at 11:40 am
Hello, my ex broke up with me almost a year ago, after that we were supposed to remain friends but we only talked for a short while, never again(he also contacted me on my birthday). Now I’ve completely moved on from him, but I couldn’t help but notice that 1. he got into a new relationship 5 months after the breakup and 2. his new girl is pretty much exactly like me, we like the same things, we have the same interests, we want to pursue the same career. Honestly I don’t know what to make out of this…Why is looking for someone just like me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 28, 2016 at 5:11 pm
Hi M,
more likely because you both fall into his type preference…
KK
November 15, 2016 at 6:19 am
Before I get into it I just want to appologize if my story shows up twice. I don’t think it loaded properly/froze.
I just would like your opinion. I was with my exe for over a year and we’re pretty serious. He’s mid 20s I’m 30. He broke up with me 5 months ago because he claimed he needed to be alone “to work on himself.”
Just after a month from our break up my exe started hooking up with a girl that used to date one of his friends. She’s over constantly. Still to this day (4 months later). I know someone who isn’t super close to the girl, but she ended up asking her what’s up. The girl claims they aren’t dating they are just “close friends.” And my exe tell others they “just hang out.” So not official or anything or at least won’t come out and say it…
I still have my doubts. I mean it’s been 4 months. By know you should know if you want to commit to each other.
Do You think it simply just FWB and they won’t become a couple?
Also the friend of mine said recently she past by when she was leaving his house. She said she saw my ex go in for a kiss on the cheek and then a tight hug. What goodbye greeting does that mean? You think it completely means they aren’t bf/gf??
I know when my ex & I started seeing each other we were a weird no label/FWB situation too…I wanted more though….but I would kiss him good bye at the door on the lips. He’d initiate too at times but I always made sure it was a kiss goodbye. We were the no label thing for 2 months before he made us official. Then told me he loved me not that much longer after….
I know everyone’S relationship is different. But with these details, what do you think their parting meant?
On a side note, my exe & I are on speaking terms although I haven’t heard from him in awhile (he contacted me 2 months after break up…we talked every few days but it’s stopped to be way less and we’d go weeks without talking now). I’m not interested in chasing him mainly because of the other girl. I’m not happy with his post break up behavior. It’s not to say I’m not open to getting back with him. The only way I would is if he was the one to come out and chase and ask me back. Which hasn’t happened. He hasn’t put in an effort that way so I’m not pursuing.
But ya I just would like to know so you think they are bf/gf & are just not saying it? What did their parting way mean?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 15, 2016 at 8:17 pm
Hi kk,
it’s hard to what their actions really meant, but if he’s doing the same things he did with you to her, then they’re probably heading the same way.
Relentless
November 9, 2016 at 4:37 am
Can you write an article about what to do if your boyfriend hasn’t fallen in love later in the relationship? Do some take a while, or does it normally happen beginning?
Relentless
November 14, 2016 at 7:23 am
I’m trying to rebuild attraction, how can I do that if he admitted he doesn’t/never loved me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 14, 2016 at 9:39 pm
honestly, there’s nothing to rebuild if he didn’t love you in the first place. Because if he’s staying with you right now, that means he’s still getting what he wanted, like sex and company.
Relentless
November 12, 2016 at 8:12 pm
He didn’t fall in love since beginning. It’s hopeless right?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 12, 2016 at 12:51 pm
Hi Relentless,
thank you for suggesting but I have to ask if you meant if your boyfriend fall out of love later on or did you mean he didn’t really love you since the beginning?
Lena
November 4, 2016 at 9:19 am
Me and my ex dated for around 2 years but had feelings for each other for around 3. We’ve been broken up for a little over 6 months. We loved each other a lot at one point and he was really sweet but the last year that we were dating he became a lot less sweet. We don’t live together and he only wanted to be with me once a week and I wanted more time and we argued about that a lot. Around a month or 2 months after we broke up he started hanging out with husband sister’s best friend as more than friends I believe. He told me tho that he wasn’t thinking about getting into a relationship anytime soon. Yet he was still hanging with her like they were more than friends and I’m concerned they might be becoming more serious. I did the no contact rule but after 3 months I texted him and he was very cold to me and said mean things. I think he avoids being at the same place as me but when we’re at the same place my friends tell me he stares at me a lot. I want to know what all of that means. It still hurts every day and I can’t seem to stop loving him. I don’t know what to do
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 6, 2016 at 11:14 am
Hi Lena,
dis you improve yourself during and after nc? And why was he mean to you after the last nc? what was your text?
Princess
November 4, 2016 at 7:41 am
My boyfriend and I broke up last week Tuesday. We got into an argument and that break us apart. Before the breakup, he blocked me on his WhatsApp application because he wanted to use a particular girl’s picture as a display image and to wish her happy birthday. When I noticed I was blocked, gave my cousin his phone number to add him on WhatsApp and tell me who he used as display picture. Found out he was dating someone else aside me. We’ve been together for so long and our family knew about us even friends. In a nutshell he’s my fiancé. But he was always complaining I don’t give him rest of mind, we fight a lot and get into arguments cos my fiancé is aggressive and I always want him to understand my point of view. He said he wasn’t happy in the relationship and he needed someone to make him happy cos right now am far away from him. He’s in Africa while am in America. He told me to date someone else that he can’t go on. I begged and cried till this moment. My mum called he won’t pick her calls. Later on he said I should give him sometime and work on myself. I wrote one of his friends to beg on my behalf and that got him upset. His friend told me that he seems to have made up his mind. We still talk, but nothing serious. He check on me and I do the same. Right now I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s like my whole world is about to come to an end. Pls help me out
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 6, 2016 at 1:59 am
Hi Princess,
so he cheated on you.. How long were you together? I think it’s a grass os greener case.. Check the link below. Do you want to try the no contact rule?
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Anon
November 2, 2016 at 4:52 pm
My boyfriend and I were together for just over two and half years, towards the end of our relationship, we began arguing an awful lot.
I told him that if things carried on the way they were, that our relationship would end – in July, I told him I couldn’t carry on like this.
He had been non-stop texting/calling/sending me flowers until mid-September, begging me to give him another chance. I needed more time for him to prove he’d changed.
Never the less he definitely knew I still loved him, and there is no doubt in my mind that he still loves me, to this day
SHOCK – Last week in September, he is officially in a new relationship, Facebook Official – the works.
How do I know that this new relationship won’t end up being a serious long term one?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 3, 2016 at 5:28 pm
Hi Anon,
she’s probably a rebound.. so, that means he didn’t change?
Olivia
November 2, 2016 at 9:44 am
i have been in a relationship for 3 yrs. i broke up with him – reason is that he doesn’t put any effort on me, failing communication and all – but he won’t address it when i wanted to talk about it. he was so hurt that I have known that in not less than 3 mos. he had girlfriends but is still flirting with others. we are now 6 or 7 mos. apart, i never succeeded in the no contact rule. and then recently he moved with a girl. but fact is, he is still loves me. and the girl is fully aware of this – and she doesn’t love him also (well, not yet). i don’t know if it’s still rebound? i’m afraid this one will be serious since he told me to back off – i’m blocked in his phone. he said he was hurt and he is willing to start anew and that it is too late for a reconciliation now. why would he give up someone he said he love? i think it’s unfair since we never really had a serious talk after the breakup. hell, the breakup wasn’t really that bad – i was always open for him. i even had the guts to do crazy stuff for him to come back – but he won’t take it. any advice? thank you.
Olivia
November 22, 2016 at 5:07 am
Amorrrrrrr!!!!!
I’m so sad right now. He already introduced his new girlfriend (for 1 month and 2 or 3 weeks) to his family, officially, which he never did to me. (Of course, I know the family, but was never introduced officially as girlfriend hehe). And i was talking with his cousin and she said they were so sweet, and that it would not be a surprised if some time from now, i’ll receive news that he’s getting married. T^T this is so heartbreaking. what do i do?
is that normal, a guy after a 3 year relationship, will move in after 6mos.of breakup, with a girl she just knew and then plan to get marry? is it all because of sex? (because we never did it). what to do realllyyyy??? i don’t want to see them, together, but i want to attend his cousin’s birthday. i don’t wanna be a loser T^T
Lately, i’m planning to cut contact (i found the article somewhere). and just move on from him! i have been so desperate and pathetic and it’s enough. but it’s hard not to think about him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 24, 2016 at 3:58 pm
It is possible if he sees the other girl as a better option.. If you want to move on, yes, cut contact.. It doesn’t mean you would forget. You will still think about him but now your choosing to act more for yourself to move on while in pain.. Over time, you’ll move on
Olivia
November 14, 2016 at 3:42 am
Hi Amor,
What would it mean if his present girlfriend is asking me how am I? she messaged me after about 10days of NC. Maybe she pitied me because she had somehow witnessed me begging for my ex to comeback (over the phone) haha. is that bad?
After the NC, would it be okay to text him even if he has a girlfriend?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 14, 2016 at 8:08 pm
yeah, it cam be because of that. Well, it’s not really ok.. I’m being a devil’s advocate here but if you really want to build rapport, you have no other choice.
Olivia
November 11, 2016 at 11:03 am
Hi Amor,
Is it normal for the present girlfriend of an ex boyfriend to be friendly towards you? My ex’s current gf has messaged me in facebook asking how am I. I can’t fathom why hahahha. It’s just been 8 days since i started NC. i don’t know what to feel hahaha. it’s kind of ridiculous and irritating ahhahah. maybe she just pitied me when i was begging for him to come back T^T
Olivia
November 4, 2016 at 1:55 am
Hi Amor,
Thanks for your reply. No – he did not cheat. He had girlfriends and flings – which were kind of rebound when I had broken up with him after 3 months. Technically, it’s not cheating since we are not an into a relationship anymore. He moved in with another girl, but he admitted still loves me. and i feel it’s true – it shows in his eyes and smiles. this would be my last shot to win him back.
i’ll follow your 45 days no contact. but in December 3rd week, i’ll be seeing him since i’ll be attending his cousin’s birthday party – i am great friends with his cousins and family. hmmm. actually, i’m having doubts if i would still attend. haha.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 5, 2016 at 11:42 pm
Oh ok! I’m sorry! That’s good that he didn’t cheat. And technically, you’re right because you weren’t together when he had other girlfriends. If you attend the party, just be civil and polite with him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 3, 2016 at 2:38 pm
Hi Olivia,
it’s nit real love if he keeps cheating on you.. Correct me if I’m wrong,.he had girlfriends when you were just three months in right? And now, you’ve broken up, he moves in with another girl..
for me, you should move on but if you cant, you should at least do 45 days no contact..Heal, reflect and improve yourself
Jennifer
November 1, 2016 at 3:11 pm
Great article. I especially like the fact that you talk about things that noone has ever touched on. I have a question Amor, what do I do if my ex never reaches out to me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 2, 2016 at 5:02 pm
Hi Jennifer,
during the no contact rule? That’s ok..you can initiate after it..check this one:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
Rachael
October 31, 2016 at 3:24 pm
Hi there… I was with my boyfriend for around 1.5 years, we have been on and off for a long time because we used to argue a lot. In the past 2 weeks he grew very distant from me and it stressed me out. We eventually talked and he said he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be with me so thought we should break up. And though not the main reason, he told me there was some girl at his workplace who was interested in him. I feel so sad and sick, I really feel like he is ‘the one’, but we’ve both not worked hard enough for the relationship for it to work. I’m trying no contact, but I just feel so sick knowing he is seeing and talking to this girl. The thing is he told me he still thinks I’m a great person and that I did nothing wrong in the relationship… I think he is just enticed by the prospect of a new girl because the beginning stages are always flirty and fun without stress. What is the likelihood of him just moving on from me and liking someone else? Should I just carry on with no contact, even though in this time he wont hear from me but will be talking to this girl? 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 1, 2016 at 12:37 pm
Hi Rachael,
read this one:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Sylwia
October 30, 2016 at 8:37 am
Hi!
My boyfriend broke up with me 4 months ago. Since that time I did no contact rule, after 2 months I met with with him. He told me that it is good that we broke up, because right now we are better versions of ourselves. After this meeting I didn’t talk with him for about month. 2 weeks ago I started texting him in this way which you recommend. He is kind to me, he wrote me even that he was thinking about me, but week ago he wrote me that he doesn’t want us to be couple for seriously, I told him that I don’t want either( obviously it’s not true) in moment when I told him this he offered me friendly sex. What should I do to get him back?
Sylwia
November 1, 2016 at 8:08 pm
I told him that maybe coffee first…. I didn’t say no
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 2, 2016 at 7:47 pm
that’s ok, because it’s another way of saying no.. try that..text, call, talk, go out, and just refuse having sex.. have fun but dont be too available
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 31, 2016 at 9:34 pm
It’s good that you used reverse psychology. he’s trying to friends with benefits with you. Did you say no?