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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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Maggie
October 11, 2019 at 8:45 pm
Chris. I have been blocked for over a year everywhere. Found out from his daughter that he has a girlfriend and only wants to be with her. And he has health issues. And the daughter wants me to leave her and her family alone. And they don’t need help. Will he ever contact me? I’m really having a hard time moving on. He is somewhat of a narcissist. But I also begged and pleaded with him.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 12, 2019 at 7:39 am
Hi Maggie, Im so sorry that they dont want your help or want you to be involved but you have to respect their decision and focus on how to move on and be happy without them in your life for now. I know its a hard thing to hear, but when its been over a year and he has no interest in speaking to you still it may be time to try to move on. He may contact you when he feels better, or is single again. But I wouldn’t wait around for him, live your life and be happy the rest will fall into place
Anon
October 11, 2019 at 11:12 am
Hello, so I completed my NC about a week ago. He didn’t try to contact me in the meantime and after. Instead, he blocked me everywhere and still has me blocked. I previously did not have a Facebook account. I opened one a day ago. and he has already blocked me there as well. I don’t know what to do or what that means. Does he hate me so much that he will block me everywhere he finds me? Will he never unblock me? I cannot be the one to reach out because the way things ended, if I reach out it will look like I am accepting things the way they were before and also, I will feel like I have lost my dignity since he blocked me everywhere possible. PS, we see each other every working day because we have the same classes but he never tries to talk.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 11, 2019 at 7:12 pm
Hi Anon, so yes eventually he may block you, usually we say if the hard block lasts more than 6 months its not a great sign. During this time you need to work on you and become ungettable so when he gets curious about you, you will appear amazing in his eyes instead of the person he thinks you are today.
Ilse
September 3, 2019 at 1:23 am
Hey
So basically ive been with this guy for 9 months and in the beginning he was so obsessed with me he even cried when i told him to leave me alone and we had this stupid thing where he would read a book and i would give him something in return . i know this was kinda messed up but he seemed to be enjoying himself reading and also fighting for me so we kept going. Then like a month ago he stopped reading and told me he thinks we need a break( he was in holiday) and i agreed but then we got back toghetter and then broke up and then got back toghetter again and finally i asked him for a week off so we can both see what our priorities were and really consider if we loved each other ( maybe i should also mention that we’re pretty young -16 , but please dont ignore this just cuz of that). 4 days after our 1 week of no contact he texted me telling me he is sad and that we need to talk because if not he will break up with me cuz he cant do this anymore. I imaturely rejected a few of his calls thinking that he will come after me like he usually did whem we didnt talk and then the secodn day he told me its over and please dont try to text me again and then he blocked me only on whatsapp . i texted him on messages a day after , asking him if he wants to talk about it and he called me instantly and we talked for like an hour in which he said that i have like 1 percent chance of getting him back and after that we remained “friends” but the moment i said something mean he would get really annoyed and block me again.he did that after like 3 days of “friendship” and i didnt go looking for him but he unblocked me by himself like 3 days after, texted me , deleted what he said and then asked me after a few hours how im doing and he kept the conversatiom going for like 2 hours and he texted me again a few times and even asked why i wasnt texting him. He also asked me if i would date him again(out of curiosity he said )but i said that i woudnt want to hurt him . then i said something that offended him again and he told me im stupid(i didnt get angry cuz i also called him a pig accidentally) so i left like 3 messages he sent on seen and 3 hours later he blocked me and said i have mental problems .
Tonight he was complaining to his friends about me saying how bad i am and how he loved me so much and i made the relationship toxic and his best friend also sent me pictures of him holding hands with a girl that rejected him just so they make me jealous.
His friends got involved and a big stupid argument ensued which ended up with him telling me to get lost ( i also told him this before ).
Although this whole situation seems so immature and dramatic (he can be quite dramatic at times but i got used to it.) i stil have this stupid feeling he will come back but maybe its just me hoping. But if he asks me to be friends again i cant do it because its mentally draining me and depressing me. In the end , because i told my best friend how i felt she took the problem in her own hands and asked him not to text me ever again and to block me everywhere , which he said he.s more than happy to do. Whats ironic is that he is now doing most things on your site , and making me value him much more than i ever did before. In fact , after like a few months in which i wasnt really interested i started liking him more and more , and now its not really the fact that i cant imagine myself without him because i can. I know what his faults are and i just want him back with his faults and everything so we can help each other with out defects and somehow be part of each other.s lives. I cant say if i love him because i dont really know what love is but i know that in my whole life i.ve never been so hurt as i have been these couple of weeks and im usually a person who doesnt give a damn. Now if he were to come back a few days ago i would have told him i need some time to heal which is true but now i just want him back. I didnt try to call him to resolve things because he kept repeating he moved on so i didnt see the point of telling him how awful he made me feel , somerhing he doesnt know aboutm shoudl i give him time to heal after all the arguments and toxicity occuring in the last month( we were in summer holiday and probably bored) and just wait for him (because i can wait as long as its needed ) to come back to me , or do i not have any chance with him . i do feel a bit like he has a right to feel angry but i think he.s now taking it a bit too far , but after all so did i like a few months ago and he just insistently didnt give up on me . Should i let time heal both of us and do its magic, or is he actually totally over me as he keeps repeating? Also despite the fact that we are 16, i swear i do think i love him now , because i know the difference between obsession , infatuation and love
Fan
August 19, 2019 at 9:01 pm
Hi help!
O did no contact rule for 1 month already and after that he partially blocked me… is he moving on ? The Nc rule is not working?
Thank you very much for your help
Biba
July 24, 2019 at 6:59 am
We were talking for 2 months after the break up then NC for 30 days, but at the end of the NC I did something that he hates so for a result – he erased me from all his social media and he also has a new girl. He saw I kissed another guy at a party.
How do I get out of this situation?
Biba
July 22, 2019 at 11:19 am
We were talking for 2 months after the break up then NC for 30 days, but at the end of the NC I did something that he hates so for a result – he erased me from all his social media and he also has a new girl.
How do I get out of this situation?
Anon
July 20, 2019 at 4:24 pm
Hi Chris! I think I ruined my chances completely…. so basically me and my ex have been split up for 6 weeks now.
I successfully completed the no contact rule for 30 days a week ago, I contacted him that day with no response, so I tried again the next day and just out ‘omg you’ll never guess what happened to me?!’ And he actually responded but responded negatively 🙁 he basically said he’s sorry he hasnt been in touch and that he doesn’t love me anymore, I don’t make him happy and that he doesn’t want to waste his life making me happy and that he thinks it’s best we don’t speak anymore.. I messed up and let the emotions get the better of me and became a GNAT. He has now blocked me everywhere except email, but I’ve emailed him but no reply three either. Have I completely ruined my chances?
Elliot
June 25, 2019 at 6:35 pm
Hi Chris,
My former boyfriend broke up with me on Friday, 4 days ago, and I immediately blocked him everywhere. I told him that I would block him and he respected and understood my decision.
Now that I’ve been reading about no-contact (which I have done once before with the same guy, it worked), I see a lot of people saying that I shouldn’t have blocked him.
Now I’m a bit conflicted because, on the one hand, I want him to be able to reach out to me (otherwise what’s the point of no-contact), but on the other hand, I want to be assertive and stick to my word that I would block him.
As of now, he is blocked on all social media. Only his phone number is not blocked, but he probably believes that it is.
Do you have any idea of what I should do?
Ellie Crawford
May 23, 2019 at 9:20 pm
Hi there my name is Ellie I’m from the uk and I would like some help or tips To get my ex back now let me start of with how it started basically it started back in Feb last year we meet online everything was fine until Christmas came he started to act really weird telling me stories how he busy with work from Christmas to new year now he work as a brick layer I no for a fact that they don’t work around Christmas time but all I’m saying is that he stop talking to me for about 6 months and block me every where at one point I tried to find him on a social Media like instagram yeah I found him on there I message him but all he did was block me on there and now I don’t no what to do cos all I want to do is find out what his problem and why he being like this so if you can please help me on this situation that will be great thank you
Tina
May 14, 2019 at 2:17 pm
My ex after 5 years blocked me thru the phone only. We have been broke up 4 months what does that mean
jodie pulford
May 14, 2019 at 8:31 am
so I was seeing someone. it was supposed to be casual until he moved. he didn’t want a long distance relationship after he had been hurt in the last one.
it was great and it was aware there was more feelings than intended on both sides. no-one said it but you can tell in actions and things that were said.
he ended it early as his career is up in the air and didn’t also want the confusion of me too. he said he cares for me and his feelings too and didn’t want to like me more than he already does so didn’t want to continue it until he was gone. I did become a bit of a texting gnat and he blocked me from everything. the following day he unblocked me tried ringing several times which I ignored. he then blocked me again. then unblocked to ring again. he sent a message pretty much to point out the obvious… he doesn’t want to see or speak to me again and blocked me again.
to me it seems odd for someone to unblock someone to say what is obvious by blocking someone. he blocked me again afterwards after saying goodbye about 3 times and wishing me the best of luck etc.
I know when I’ve done things like this is because someone is playing on my mind and emotions are high.
do guys think like this too? is it a sign of emotions or is it just game play?
any insight is appreciated.
Thalita
May 6, 2019 at 6:48 pm
Hi Chris , I’m writing this with a heavy heart.
My ex fiancé an I were engaged for about 5 months we lived together , everything had moved really fast we only dated for about 6 months officially until he proposed. It seems like he jumps from relationship to relataionship from what I heard. With me however he proposed we lived together, but we started to have little clashes of personality. The latest argument we had was about us buying a house to which I said it was too soon and we should really see where this goes so we don’t fight. I eventually got on board with the house and we picked a home. But he couldn’t let the house situation go and said I didn’t trust him. Then started asking me why I loved him nice matter what I said it wasn’t good enough. He then said that he would rather be alone and to find a place to live. I left that same night and yelled at him he couldn’t look at me. The next day he insisted it was the right decision for the both of us and that we would both be happier this way even though he’s messed up in his mind and he could not make me happy .I ended up going the next day to pick up things and cried and pleaded ( I know ). To which he said I can’t focus on anything but the nypd right now and I can’t be in a relationship. “It’s not you it’s me”. And that maybe in the future we can “date” even though I heard him say he doesn’t believe in that in the past. He said separation is key to moving forward. I stayed with no contact rule. It’s been about a month. The only thing is my mom did contact
Him saying that I was struggling and that she thought it was best if him and I sat down and discussed things to which he coldly
Replied, we have , it’s best this way , we rushed into things. He has unfriended me on Facebook agger I blocked him and in followed me on Instagram as well. So far have no heard from him. Please help
Nebi
April 29, 2019 at 3:16 pm
Hei Chris.
Nebi
I was in a long distance relationship over 5 years. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago. He just called and said that he didn’t want me to be with another guy, but he didn’t think he will marry me in the future, so he wishes me a good luck and happy life. I was’t emotional, I just said are you sure and he replied yes. Then I respected his choice and wished him good luck. The day after he broke up with me I posted a picture of me with friends Nd at the gym working out. He was the first looking at pictures. Then he called me after to days, I didn’t answer.He send me a text and begged for me too call him on Facebook I didn’t reply. I actually ignored him right after he broke up with me, that means I can see if he text or call but he didn’t know that I have seen them. So I think he knew that I ignored him. Then he called me unknown number, I answered him and he said sorry for what he did and wants me too called him on Facebook or what’s up because he leave in another country. Then I said okay I will call him and hang up the phone. Then I realize that I was mad at him and I didn’t want to say something bad wards, so it was better to not to call him at that time. I did the no contact roles. I didn’t call him in 3 days, then he called me again unknown number and asked me why didn’t I called him and told me that he was wetting for me to call him. Then i called him on Facebook. We communicate and he told me why he broke up with me which makes me even more mad at him even I love him so much. I actually know why he broke up with me, but he told me another story and he felt that he wasn’t not good enough for me. At that time I felt like I had to do something too show him that was not okay to break my heart over a little thing. Then I pretend that I was okay with the break up and told him that we can be friends. Then he got mad and blocked me on Facebook.
So Chris what should I do to get him unblock me and mack him understand that I love him no matter what.
Sorry for my words. I learned English here actually by watching your videos and reading your blogs. So thanks for that.
Chris Seiter
April 29, 2019 at 9:01 pm
Hi Nebi…like I discuss in my EBR Pro Program, sometimes its best to give your ex a lot of space and following a sensible ex recovery game plan. Those who block, often become unblockers in time.
Nelly
April 17, 2019 at 5:12 pm
Hi, my bf and I been together for 9 months and about 3 weeks ago my bf stopped talking to me for a week because he got mad at me for something stupid. After that week I texted him and his replies were mean. I was asking him question to why he stopped talking to me. He told me that he probably forgot about me and why will he text me and that he don’t know what I am to him. When he said he doesn’t t know what I am to him I broke up with him, now his my ex. I tried getting back with him the next day but it didn’t work. Now he blocked me on WhatsApp and Facebook, but he didn’t unfriend my mom on Facebook. Do I have a chance of him unblocking me?
Parnia Razavi
March 23, 2019 at 5:33 pm
Hello Chris,
My boyfriend and I were together for 6 months, I was his longest relationship and he constantly told me he loved me, he also told all his friends that he was so in love with me,
6 weeks ago we went out and we decided to break up, I told him to do that he must block me everywhere, I blocked him right away but when I got home I called him and told him that I wouldn’t want to break up with him, he said that he doesn’t feel good and he was crying.
5 days later I persuaded him to unblock me through his best friend and I talked to him, the next day he changed his massanger settings so I could see when he was online, but two days after he changed the settings again,
I called and texted and he blocked me again, I also went to see him, he said that we couldn’t be together and now I really don’t know what to do, also, we didn’t really have a major issue in our relationship. So what can I do?
Doreen
March 3, 2019 at 1:42 pm
My ex and I broke up in September last year.we had so many issues and he was also cheating constantly.i was pregnant and ended up terminating because of his unfaithfulness.we got into a huge fight and I left but he immediately brought in someone else.he blocked me everywhere apart from whatsapp where he keeps on blocking and on blocking.its now 6 months but he keeps going round telling people horrible things about me.i have not been able to move on because I still have feelings for him.please advice me on what to do
Sankari T Thevar
March 1, 2019 at 5:45 am
Hey Chris. My Boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. Both of us have entered college. I’m worried he is going to move on fast. I have been blocked everywhere and i have waited for about a month. How do i reach out to my ex?
Chris Seiter
March 1, 2019 at 10:50 pm
So if your NC is run a week and you are looking to connect, but are blocked, perhaps writing him a letter is an option.
Catherine
February 15, 2019 at 6:03 pm
Hey Chris,
So, I’ve been blocked for about 2 weeks on Facebook, what app but not instagram… (So partial block) He actively didn’t like any of my posts for about a month, until on valentines I posted a happy valentines picture and he gave it a like.
I also found out on the same day he asked my best friend if he could stay at hers with some friends when he comes to my city in a few weeks (we had planned to be together when he came that time for a music concert) and she said yes.
I’ve kept NC and working on being an UG, but not sure if this is a clear sign he’s sending that it’s fully over for him as he’d rather stay with my best friend than me or something else?
What do you think are the motives behind his actions, should I give up and move on or is this some weird game?
What else can I do in my situation?
Thank you for all insight and advice! Hope you’re having a nice day x
Chris Seiter
February 16, 2019 at 12:32 am
Hi Catherine…partial blocks are not unusual. Look for him to eventually unblock you on Facebook. So you are focusing on the right thing…being Ungettable and making NC about “you”. Be careful of not reading too much in how a guy acts or says or does. I am unsure, but maybe he is trying to trigger a reaction from you, knowing she is your best friend. I would stay on course with your NC. And if you really want to dive deep in this process, pick up my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”!
Marie
February 6, 2019 at 6:22 pm
Hi chris! I wanted to message you as I’ve been reading your blogs for the last 4 weeks but haven’t seen a comment close to my situation so I will explain and hopefully you can give me some words of wisdom!
So basically, me and my ex broke up about 2 months ago he said he wasn’t happy in himself and couldn’t make me happy whilst he felt like that. We ended it by saying we would have no contact and see eachother 3 weeks later after Christmas. We did text a little bit throughout the following 2 weeks and then the 3rd week I got a huge paragraph telling me that I’m amazing and none of this is my fault and to let me know he was okay but he wasn’t sure if he can give me what I need. So I obviously got upset and replied saying it’s not fair he then said this is the problem and I’m very argumentative! So I called him as texting was just getting heated and he said to me that I nag and get angry I got sad and he had to go close the shop at work. I then thought it wasn’t fair so I called him back and said I’m coming to get my stuff tonight you can’t message me all that and then expect me to let you say it. He then said he was sorry he sent it and to ignore it and he’s not good with words but I said I wasn’t waiting another week and I would come up in 2 days. So I did, I honestly thought he’d see me and change his mind but he didn’t he said I was horrible and didn’t realise what I said and I cried so much. I left and the following day I messaged him to say how sorry I was and he said seeing me cry made him realise how much he loved and missed me. We agreed to no contact at all until the date we originally planned to see eachother (8 days later) and I also asked him not to message me Christmas Day as it would ruin my day. he text me everyday.. he said ‘just wanted you to know your all I can think about’ he messaged me Christmas Eve ‘I hope you have a good day tomorrow’ I then woke up to a text Christmas Day and again Boxing Day and then I saw him the following day he then said he had to let me go and it wasn’t fair! So we left it I then spoke to him a few days later but it didn’t go well he said we have to leave it and he doesn’t know how he’ll feel to meet up again. Following day it was New Year’s Eve didn’t hear a word all day, got into bed and midnight and my phone went off it was him asking me to go round. He lives 45 minutes away but I stupidly went! When I got there he was so drunk so I left him to Sort himself out and he slept on the sofa. He went to work in the morning and came back at lunch time he said I could stay and watch films with him so I did we had a chat when he got back and he said he wanted to see me again once a week and make it fun again! So we planned to see eachother a few days later. We didn’t speak and the day before he called me saying to reschedule but he seemed weird and I questioned it he said he’d been worrying again about everything and wasn’t sure if he wanted to see me. I said out of respect you need to see me! And then he said ok. We didn’t speak till I got there, I didn’t want to question everything I just wanted to show him we can still have fun! I ended up staying and we slept together, spent all of the next day together and then i packed up all my stuff and he cried he said everything will work out and if we’re meant to be together we will be. I didn’t speak to him for a week and then i saw he got a big deal on a job and felt it was right to congratulate him. We spoke non stop for 2 days! I said would be nice to go for a coffee in a few weeks and he agreed! He also started explaining to me how he also got another job and got on a new football team without me asking. A few days later we were talking and he was flirting. So I said about staying over when I meet him and he freaked out and said he couldn’t see me. I then did the no contact rule for 15 days. Day 15 I went for dinner with his friends girlfriends (my friends too) one told me he said similar things to his ex when they broke up though when he said them to me he said he’d never said it before! I started getting upset and couldn’t not say anything but I couldn’t text or call in case he ignored me. So I drove to his and knocked on the door. He was shocked! We sat in my car and spoke and said it was all lies. He said the break up hasn’t been that bad as he’s been busy with work. He then started to tell me he’s getting a new car and moving in with one of his friends that I won’t be happy about (a girl friend that says stupid stuff without thinking but is literally just a friend) again without me asking anything to do with either! I said all he thinks about are the negative stuff but he said he’s been thinking positive and does miss me but I had annoyed him a lot by turning up and he said there’s a good chance we might not get back together now but he might miss me in a few months and went back inside. The next day I said to him I didn’t want it to end like that but I couldn’t have not said anything he said bye I don’t need this I went abit crazy with messaging and said he’ll realise I’m the one and the grass isn’t greener but it will be too late when he does and he didn’t reply. A few days later I thought he is just thinking I’m there on a plate so i messaged and said to him I deserve to be treated better the last 2 months he’s shown his true colours and it’s not someone I want in my life he told me that there’s someone out there better suited for me and he doesn’t think we should speak again. I didn’t reply! I then put a post on Facebook the following day about a new job I’ve got and he unfriended me straight away. It’s like he can’t bare to see that I do well. Of course partly it was a dig to make him think I’m ok without him but still! I don’t know what to think or what to do!!!
Alaa
January 11, 2019 at 10:09 pm
Hello there,
My story is a bit different here.. I broke up with my ex even though we were together for a long time (he has loved me for 6 years, broke up before but he confessed to me each time later and he didnt give up)
He told me he wanted to stay friends.. I couldn’t handle that idea
Then my sister suggested me to tell him that I would give him time to think about whether he is sure he wants this or he wants to go back together, and she told me to give him a time limit, so I went for a month
However HE asked me to block him from everywhere and begged me to do it
When I asked how he can contact me later he said I will know when he is ready to give me his answer
So right now he can’t see anything I post.. but I left him unblocked on instagram pretending I forgot about it and I post my photos there but idk if he sees them
I was also wondering if it is mean to unblock him from other social media before he gives me his answer
Chris Seiter
January 12, 2019 at 2:48 am
HI Alaa…probably best to have an overriding strategy so you have answers to questions that will crop up during this whole process. I tend to favor keeping the social media lines open for various reasons, but there are exceptions.