My Ex Boyfriend Told Me Not To Contact Him Anymore- What Do I Do?

112 thoughts on “My Ex Boyfriend Told Me Not To Contact Him Anymore”

Palak

August 6, 2019 at 6:50 pm

He wanted to breakup with me face to face , so we meet at our usual place and he told me that I should not call or text or roam around his office and while I was going home he told me that we can be friends and I can text him on Instagram if I want . so what should I do if I want him back . I’ve not contacted him for 2 months , so what should be my next step .
I know that he still has feeling for me but don’t know why he is ignoring me .
Palak

August 6, 2019 at 6:45 pm

He wanted to breakup with me face to face , so we meet at our usual place and he told me that I should not call or text or roam around his office and while I was going home he told me that we can be friends and I can text him on Instagram if I want . so what should I do if I want him back . I’ve not contacted him for 2 months , so what should be my next step .
Anaya

August 1, 2019 at 10:45 pm

Hey, my ex and I were in a relationship for a year and everything was almost perfect in the beginning. we’ve definitely had our fair share of arguments towards the end but even then i really didn’t want it to reach the end since i felt our greater memories were amazing compared to our fighting. we would meet almost every day and get food and i could come to his house and we’d do anything just like any other couple would. He was my best friend even before we started dating. After 6 months into our relationship We started fighting almost every day over this girl who would always touch him and flirt with him which naturally made me uncomfortable, but it annoyed him as well and i could tell. she would constantly do this every day in school and she thought i was just using him and i told him she said this and he didn’t believe me until his friends told him as well. they were sort of friends before we got together but just as soon as i came in his life she seemed to get super jealous. I really wanted him to cut her off and he didn’t think that was fair of me. Anyway, school ended and she was the reason for our arguments and we ended up breaking up about a week after school had ended.We tried being friends again just like how we started off before dating and honestly i was so happy i still got to see him and talk to him but i could tell he was still sad over our relationship. Now he said that “we shouldn’t talk anymore” since it makes him really sad and he doesn’t want to be sad anymore. I really wish there was something i could do to convince him that we had really great memories besides our fighting but he doesn’t think it’ll ever go back to the way it used too and he misses that.and now we’re in the no contact phase. what should I try and do?
Lily

April 14, 2019 at 6:23 pm

Hi sir…. I want to tell my problem….my ex and I were in a relationship 2 years back. The main reason of the breakup was that his family doesn’t like me and he wants to give attention on his career. I didn’t said anything to him but was very hurt of his decision. I didn’t talked to him for 2 years . But some months back he messaged me to talk to him on phone. I called him and he was sorry for what he did and want me to be his friend. I even told me that he has a gf. I didn’t said anything and paused the conversation. I again contacted him and we were discussing our past time mistakes. I teased him about his new gf and he confessed that he said lie to me that he has a gf, Infact he doesn’t have any gf after me. He told me that he still loves me but we don’t have any future so he don’t wanna come in a relationship. From that day I tried my best to make things better again but I don’t know what happened to him that he told me that why I m contacting him again and again. I stopped talking to him from that day. After 3-4 days he again contacted me with a funny message. Plz help me . I really love him but things are not coming in the way it should be. Help…..
Rachel

March 23, 2019 at 10:07 am

Dear Chris, so I applied NC for a whole month with my ex who I think has GIGS. We met each other in an event and talked a bit. He was acting all flirting and it felt really good. I actually think I have the right mindset “move on without moving on” and am ready to start fresh with him. However, he said he hasn’t move on yet and kept trying to discuss our breakup which makes me a bit uncomfortable. He said he’s still in a healing process and thinks that it’s too soon for us to talk or meet up right now. He’s still taking time and trying to figure things out. I was a bit upset like how come he could be suffering when he was the one who broke up with me so I accidentally told him I don’t want him back bc getting over him is very hard and I don’t want to do that again… which I regretted immediately bc I do. Anyway he said he needs more time and space which is better that we don’t talk just yet. What do I do now? Restart another NC?
Sissi

February 27, 2019 at 4:00 pm

I didn’t contact him anymore after his last email. He said we couldn’t be friends but I still want to be friends with him. What should I do after no contact period as he will not see anything about me in social media? He has deleted me from his mobile contact list, but I am not sure if he has blocked my mobile, email, if he has deleted Wechat App… We were in a long distance romantic relationship for about one year. I am in China and he is in England. He didn’t get the job in China and broke up with me last December. He told me he got a girlfriend in England before our breakup. Then we just stayed in touch as friends. At the beginning of this Jan. I suddenly got a call from his girlfriend in the early morning. I answered because I saw it was his number and thought maybe something happened. I only heard she said ‘hello’ then seems he tried to stop her. After that he texted sorry. The next morning he sent me a message asking me to spend the following weekend with him when he came back to China for work. I accepted because he said he broke up with his new girlfriend and not friends. We met twice when he was in China until he returned to England on 1/30. Before he left he said it was goodbye because he was not coming back to China. Then he deleted me and readded me twice on Wechat. He sent me a text first two days later. We chatted and talked as usunal. And I even sent him a birthday present via Amazon. On 2/17 I found him deleted me again on Wechat so I sent a friend request and waited. He added me as friend on 2/18 but no message. I sent some messages to him but no reply. I called him on 2/19 and he called back he dated with that woman again and asked me to stop contacting him and pissed off! On 2/21 I got an email from him saying that “Just got your present thank you but please don’t contact me again please don’t I have entered into a new phase of my life and I can’t have you in it. You are an amazing special lady and it is time for us to both move on please don’t let my last emotion for you be anger and respect my decision.”
Christine P.

October 7, 2018 at 8:06 pm

Hello!
I need help with this please. I have been texting with a guy for more than a month, the conversation has gone great and he has even asked me to be his girlfriend but he never finds time to actually meet. I got mad at him because we couldn’t meet and told him not to talk to me anymore. Should I talk to him or wait?

Chris Seiter

October 7, 2018 at 9:44 pm

Hi Christine!

So I think you should wait a spell and draw him to you to see how hard he tries to reach out to you. You will learn something.

Elizabeth M

April 21, 2018 at 6:49 pm

Hi Chris,

It has been 3 months since my ex and I broke up. I did no contact and texted him after 30 days. He quickly responded and we had a short conversation until I ended it. A few days later I texted him again and we had a short conversation again. He all of a sudden stopped responding. Shortly after this, he made his Instagram public (since I had unfollowed him) so that I could see he had posted a picture with a new girl. He was actually on a trip with her when I initially reached out to him after the 30 days. I don’t know why he was responding if he was with her. She also looks almost exactly like me. After seeing this I sent a text saying something like i wish you had enough respect for me to tell me yourself that you are dating someone seriously. He never responded. I waited a couple weeks and texted him a memory text to which he responded, “you had your chance with me and it didn’t work out. Things are going really well with me and (new girl). Out of respect for her and I please move on.” I don’t think the “being there” approach is going to work. Should I even respond at all? I feel like there is no hope anymore.

Chris Seiter

April 21, 2018 at 11:43 pm

Hiya Elizabeth! Did you know you are an excellent writer! Makes me wonder if you do that as part of you work or if you did a lot of writing in your college/HS years! OK…I digressed! I am sorry he was so mean in his response to you. He could have shown more class. One never knows when another relationship falls into the rebound status. While I am not sure how long the two of you were together as a couple, you have to ask yourself if this is the kind of guy you want to be with in the future. So going forward, just focus on your needs and healing and becoming the best version of yourself. Time will tell just whether he has a spot in your life.

Manli

March 18, 2018 at 3:07 am

We initially started fighting beginning of November because i took a text typo and made it a big deal. Things became good then a bigger fight. And things got ugly! Neither of us gave in so things got worse. We did not celebrate our year and half anniversary due to the anger. I was so upset.

Finally when i was ready to put this past me. Something he was asking for the entire time but i couldn’t forget what was said. All he replied with was he’s glad. He was preoccupied with his friends. Christmas he only sent me one message. In between Christmas and New Years i sent him so many happy loving messages. Called him to and from work like i used to always. No reply. He replied once saying he’s busy with work.

Right before New Years he tells me he doesn’t have the spark for me anymore. After the fighting and everything. I was devastated. I begged and pleaded but to no avail. I even wrote a heartfelt card and sent a gift because i wanted to show we could still celebrate the holidays and our anniversary still even though it passed. He said he appreciated the card but wished i didn’t send anything because we aren’t together. He told me maybe in the future but now he’d like to be friends.

I began my first no contact period beginning on January when he failed to inform me of our dinner plans. I tried to see him since December was a hard month he never got back to me. He blew up my phone via text and call the first week. He saw i was reading and not replying since it was through what’s app. He expanded on how much he loved my card. I ended up breaking it and calling him back the end of the week. Still going on about how he wanted to be friends. I said i can’t be your friend but i still tried. Again, it was me reaching out to him and hardly anything from him.

Began my second no contact 30 day period. He texted me the end of the first week. I didn’t reply or open it immediately. He saw i opened it and kept checking what’s app until he finally deleted the app. I posted a selfie of me with make up on and then my drinks on Snapchat story. He ended up blocking me and his friend deleted me. I was also posting inspirational and relationship quotes on Snapchat so maybe he was tired of that.

He didn’t contact me again. I texted him after 30 days no reply. Not sure If I’m blocked. I sent him a bday card mid February. He Facebook messaged me saying he appreciated the card and we very briefly chatted. I even left a birthday voicemail. Not sure if it was received it rang normally and then said the number was unavailable beep.

Then week later i did a good reminder text. I said “do you remember which restaurant we went to before the laker game ? I am hoping to take a friend there.” He wasn’t happy and said he didn’t need to know i was taking “a friend”.

Then two weeks later I’m doing another good reminder text all i say is “hi! Guess where i just dropped my brother off at!?” Boom! Blocked! No reply.

He calls me right away and says Look just leave me alone. Leave me alone. Haven’t i told you before?! All i could mutter was ok and yes to the question.

What does this mean? Why this anger? It’s March now. Last we spoke on the phone in January it was friendly. What do i do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 22, 2018 at 6:15 pm

Hi Manli,

It looks like he either thinks you’re chasing him or just deliberately making him jealous so, he got pissed. You have to let him initiate and to set a limit on until when you’re going to wait for him to initiate.

Linda Bates

March 7, 2018 at 7:51 am

I was a text gnat I was told because he’s introvert just text him so I did and he told it was to much and then we got together and didn’t go all the way he left and I texted him the next day because when left we didn’t say a word to each other he then told me that he don’t want to talk to me anymore and please don’t call or text and he said please don’t
YG

January 5, 2018 at 7:56 pm

After about a month of being back with my ex everything was fine but one day we got into a petty argument , it was a miscommunication but I made it worse and then I tried to fix it by telling him I loved him later that day and he told me he doesn’t want to play with my emotions so it’s best we cut all contact …

But he had been telling me he loved me since we came back into contact and even during the month we were separated ..

I’m just wondering why ? Did I scare him by saying it ? Or was it just because we were fighting?

When he told me , I was angry so I told him never to come back into my life again , and then blocked him . He hasn’t tried to reach out . It’s been three days … I’m lost on what to do . We were toghter off and on for three years.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 8, 2018 at 6:32 pm

Hi YG,

If you’re on and off then that’s it.. He’s used to breaking up with you when it gets hard or stressful.. Check this one:
How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

SJ

December 13, 2017 at 7:43 pm

My ex and I have been broken up for about five months. We first met in April and by the end of the month we were a couple. Things we fine, we went on two dates, and then my parents decided that we had to have a chaperone or be with a group. My ex is older than me and did not like the rules, it was something he was not used to. But we did meet up a few times to see each other. After the breakup, (we dated two months) my ex still flirts with me and checked in on me. But at the time he said that I was not ready to date and we were not getting back together, but he had feelings for me. Then things started to change in September when he made a comment to a friend about hurting me, I asked what he meant by that and he said that his experience would hurt me and that I Should be with someone I can share more with. I was confused and told him that it did not matter what happened in his past we can do things together. I must have said too much, because he didn’t respond to my texts. I asked him about it and he said there was no need to talk about it. I felt like he was blowing me off. At some point he told me that he just wanted to be friends and I was a nice person. We exchanged mean things to one another and stopped talking for three weeks. That was out first fight over text message. In October I wished him Happy Birthday and another week went by. The next week we talked over the weekend via text and I asked to meet up, he said that he was talking to someone and that was not a good idea. Once again we talked about our breakup and how I felt it was unfair that we could not fix out problems and he moved on to someone else. It seemed to finally end. However I was still asking questions and he was getting annoyed with them. After some more texting back and forth, he finally admitted that we should stop talking, because I was not getting over the breakup, as well as ” what are your intentions?’ ” it will be better in the long run”, “he’s not the guy for me”, ” I want to be more than friends and he can’t do that”, ” I’m gonna make someone happy one day”, ” I’m not gonna be your boyfriend”. He did say sorry for hurting me, it was not his intentions. We haven’t talked in a month and I know he has blocked my number, because before he would respond to me but now nothing. Can you break this all down for me? What should I do now?
Sherin

December 10, 2017 at 6:14 am

Hey Chris, I’m madly in love with this man. The relationship was short (3 months) but the feelings were very intense. It was definitely not a fling. We had wonderful chemistry between us and were perfect for each other. He made me feel like the happiest woman in the world. I wanted to spend more and more time with him, I had too much concern for him, I loved him like a baby.
I sometimes did feel that I was becoming a bit clingy , but I never did doubt him, check on him, or restrict him from talking to other friends, especially of the opposite sex. I just wanted to make sure that he spends enough time with me too. But I was never demanding in the process.
Earlier this month, He told me he needed a ‘break’. I felt my ground slipping away beneath my feet. I was so confused what was that supposed to mean and I couldn’t help but ask for clarification from him. Whenever I tried to speak to him he tells that he fell in love with me too quickly without knowing much about me, and that now he first wants to be friends, know about me better and then think of a relationship. I was really hurt and paranoid and was acting crazy as he meant the world to me and his sudden change was too hard for me to fathom and accept.
Weeks went on like this before he gave me another blow to my already confused heart – He wanted a breakup. He told me that he does not love me anymore, But he cares for me and will be always there for me. I know he will – for he is a true gentleman, but I feel my life ripped out of me-I just can’t imagine my life with another guy.
Currently we are friends, but I have a feeling he may move on fast, I’m honestly trying to get back to him. I want him so badly and he cares for me too. He assures that he’ll always be there for me, but he says he doesn’t love me. Please help,I want my sweetheart back. Pls tell me what I can do in this situation to get him back. I have tried begging, though I knew that would make him look down on me. he still cares for me. because he told that he doesn’t want anybody sympathizing for me and to stay strong after the breakup. But recently when I asked him to take me back again, He told me not to talk to him for a while and he doesn’t want anyone. What should I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 12, 2017 at 4:16 am

Hi Sherin,

check this one:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Wants To Stay Friends

Jean

November 19, 2017 at 10:46 pm

Also I was active in improving myself in the NC period and have been active on social media too, but he cannot see anything anyway as he blocked me from everything the last time we split up. He said he didn’t want to keep re adding me every time we fell out as he was bothered about what people would think (this happened quite a while ago)

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 21, 2017 at 7:22 pm

Yup, you need to restart 30 days nc, make your posts public.. He has to think you’re really moving on and then follow the advice on how to initiate contact on the link in my first reply to you..

Jean

November 19, 2017 at 10:41 pm

Yes I basically sent him a long txt saying i missed him and that i had made a mistake and that at the time I just needed space to deal with meeting new family etc. He said he wasn’t going to read my message, that i didn’t deserve it and he didn’t want to see or speak to me again. He said i made my choice and to leave him alone and post his key. I replied saying that i had a feeling this would be his response and that i would leave him alone and move on. I left it a few days and sent him a positive message saying you’re not going to believe what happened to me? he responded with you won the lottery? I replied with a funny positive message about what had happened with a friend; relating the message to something we used to do together, but he didn’t respond. I left it a day and sent him a message relating to a subject he is quite interested in but I have still not received a response. Do you think there is no hope? Should I start the NC again? It makes things worse that we have split up a few times and I was always the one to break up with him. He may have had enough…what are your thoughts? Thanks a lot for responding!
Jean

November 14, 2017 at 10:58 pm

Hi, I recently broke up with my partner of 3 years a month ago. We had been having some difficulties for about a year and towards the end the relationship had become really awkward and we lacked communication. I had split up with him a few times before but we always ended up back together, it was mostly me initiating contact again. When I broke up with him this time I explained that I didn’t think it was working and that he had become lazy in the relationship. He got angry and started saying how much he had done for me and that I had contacted him to get back together last time. He said he wasn’t going to do this again and I could tell he was really upset as he kept messaging. I would listen to him at the time and left it. After a month I now regret my decision and I messaged him, he replied saying I didn’t deserve his contact, that I had made my choice and he didn’t want to see or speak to me ever again. He said to leave him alone. What should I do? I love him and want him back, do you think there is a chance?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 18, 2017 at 1:51 am

HI Jean

your first message is asking him back? And it’s not a no contact rule period if you weren’t active in improving yourself and in posting.. restart nc and check this one too:
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact

Malath

October 23, 2017 at 11:59 am

Hello .. ty for responding
No, i didnt say that .. when i apologized i said that am sorry for how we ended then i said that a friendly ending would be better for both .. however it was like if i am saying that ending would be better for both so after re reading my msg i re write him that i meant to be friendly and not to cut him off of my life but he rejected me by asking me to delete his number although he replied to my first text in a friendly way ..

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2017 at 5:28 pm

Hi Malath,

Ah ok , well, building rapport means just being friendly.Not asking if you can be friendly. Because if a guy doesn’t want to get back together, he would not want to give you hope.. If he doesn’t initiate in a week, do one last nc, at least 30 days. Be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media and then initiate contact after nc..

Malath

October 12, 2017 at 7:10 am

Hello , I was with a guy almost 5 months .. he was flirting and he makes hints that I should love him .. however i was so careful cause am not sure about him… day after day i found that its over he seems to be serious .. however i told him that i am attached to him and wether that fears him or no .. then he said we’re just friends and that he doesnt want a relation ship and that he told me that he doesnt want ( but he never said before ) however he deleted me directly eventhough i’ve only said that am getting attached .. then i sent him a vn via whatsapp (youre immature .. and even if u wanted a Relationship i dont want it and blah blah … ) then i went on NC for 21 days .. yesterday i apologized on how we ended he replied to me in a good way and wished me luck then i realized my msg to him showed that i dont want him back so i replied that i didnt mean that then he said please delete my number .. i said ok then deleted him …. Now , I am moving on but i’d like to know if that respond of him was to harm me bc i insulted him before or is it bc he really doesnt like me ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 12, 2017 at 6:23 pm

HI Malath,

You said you didn’t mean the apology?

Grace

October 7, 2017 at 12:15 pm

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year. We have never had one fight. We took a three week time out in June because things got really stressful with his ex wife taking him back to court for more child support etc and I told him I loved him for the first time. He isn’t the most verbal person when it comes to his emotions and he just got overwhelmed. Things seemed to be fine until the day he went to court in August. I text him in the morning to wish well and he said he didn’t want to talk but said thank you. I text him in the afternoon to check in on him and the last line on my text said, I won’t bug you anymore tonight, text if you need me. He wrote back and said Please stop! For some reason it really upset me. I called him and we ended up fighting about me calling him and he told me that I was crossing his boundaries and that he was blocking me on his phone, then he hung up. I unblocked my number, and called him back about 20 minutes later and told him that I would give him his space and he got really mad at me for unblocking my number I guess, said something about the boundaries and that this just wasn’t right, he started yelling at me about never to contact him again and that if he wanted to talk to me he would call me. Then he hung up. I was shocked! We have never spoken to each other this way, ever…We are older, in our 40’s and have always respected one another. I emailed him the next day and apologized. I sent him a letter the next week and a final email about 4 weeks later. I have heard nothing from him. It’s now been 8 days with no contact. I’m completely in love with this man and he knows it. Should I continue the no contact and see what happens, or is it totally over? I really am at a loss. He did say in the conversation, why did you do this? we were good. you were really to good to me and I was good to you. We had even just had a conversation about our relationship three weeks prior about how to improve things a bit. I’m just so upset right now….

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 8, 2017 at 11:12 pm

Hi Grace,

Yes, continue nc..try it..be active in improving yourself, and in posting..continue doing that even while slowly rebuilding rapport.. If it doesn’t work, move on..

Messed up

September 17, 2017 at 12:14 am

So I messed up. Ex and I broke up 3 months ago, never did no contact more than a couple weeks. It was a mutual cycle of hanging out heaps and then stopping and repeating.
I told him how I felt and then proceeded to call him out for leading me on and how us being friends wasn’t working and we should give this a go. He kept saying lets be friends and that his feelings were getting weaker and how we could be friends if I stopped aksing for closure. I then got mad and said he was taking me for granted and how acknowledging my feelings should not be a favour its just the right thing to do. He got mad and said let’s not be friends.

Does he mean it? Have I even lost the ablity for us to be mates

Messed Up

October 1, 2017 at 2:05 pm

URGENT RESPONSE NEEDED ASAP****

Hey so I did that and a lot of guys posted photos of me and like my Facebook is a flood of me clubbing and having a good time. My ex ended up blocking me and upon further research from friends I realised he put up his profile privacy so no one can see his friends but he readded his ex (who lives on the other side of the world and has a partner of a few years) but he blocked her for me when we were dating.
Is this completely over? Do you see any logic in any of this? cos I’m confused.
Is it time to move on or can I still continue nc
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 2, 2017 at 2:53 pm

Just continue nc and make your posts public
Messed up

September 30, 2017 at 7:28 am

I dont know if its a browser issue but my last comment doesn’t have a response?

I’ve been focusing on myself and going on dates. But I still want to resume contact eventually. Is it still plausible?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 30, 2017 at 10:09 pm

It didn’t have a response in my end too..I may have approved it accidentally..sorry about that.. Yes, you can continue nc and initiate contact after it
Messed Up even more

September 27, 2017 at 3:46 am

Now a lot happened since that post. The replies here a little bit slow but I underrstand you’re busy. I saw him at a party and on the one hand he was very obviously avoiding me, talking/flirting with anyone but me. But he told my mutual female friend that he had feelings for me but wasn’t sure if I did and didn’t want a relationship.

He also kept looking at me everytime I flirted with someone else, I got a lot of guys attention at that party. In fact every guy except HIM. And in the end he told our mutual riend that he shouldn’t care and I have the right to date whoever I want.

The day after that was my birthday, the 23rd. He did not wish me a happy birthday but liked photos that my friends posted. He does not normally wish people hb’s but he has always wished me.
Now I don’t know what to do. Is this officially irrevocably done? Or can no-contact still work.
Messed Up even more

September 27, 2017 at 3:46 am

So a lot happened since that message. I saw him at a party and on the one hand he was very obviously avoiding me, talking/flirting with anyone but me. But he told my mutual female friend that he had feelings for me but wasn’t sure if I did and didn’t want a relationship.

He also kept looking at me everytime I flirted with someone else, I got a lot of guys attention at that party. In fact every guy except HIM. And in the end he told our mutual riend that he shouldn’t care and I have the right to date whoever I want.

The day after that was my birthday, the 23rd. He did not wish me a happy birthday but liked photos that my friends posted. He does not normally wish people hb’s but he has always wished me.
Now I don’t know what to do. Is this officially irrevocably done? Or can no-contact still work.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2017 at 10:46 pm

finish nc first, and then slowly rebuild rapport after while continuing improving yourself and having your own life.
Messed Up

September 21, 2017 at 12:48 pm

I forgot to mention. During the past 3 months he did have moments where he said he still had feelings for me. Or how he was confused. Or how he was on the fence. And once how he was “scared how strong his feelings were” because he didn’t want a relationship.

You make perfect sense but that’s what I have left ^^ I’m about to see him at a lot of events. Should I maintain no contact?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 26, 2017 at 7:41 pm

Yup, stay in nc
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2017 at 10:31 am

Hi Messed up,

If he broke up with you, then in his point of view, why would he have to acknowledge your feelings? Yes, he knows you have feelings, but he broke up with, so now he just wants to be friends.. I don’t know if I make sense to you but my point is, he wants to friendzone you.. So, either you start the no contact period if you still want to try with him later on or move on..

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