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Joey
May 16, 2019 at 7:41 am
Hi, i borke up with my bf few days ago. We have been together for almost 4 years. This is the second times we break up because he told me that he doesn’t feel love and this relationship so he rather break up to find the real meaning of love. In the past 2 years, we were having long-distance relationship. Its not easy for both of us. So what should i do? He said if after few months he still couldn’t move on meaning he still love me. I dunno what should i now. Could you pls give me se advices?
Chris Seiter
May 16, 2019 at 1:17 pm
Hi Joey…you might want to give No Contact some consideration
Nik
May 14, 2019 at 4:21 pm
My ex and I were together for 3 years. We have had a 5 year history. He says he loves everything about me but I can be selfish at times and he is over it. We recently broke up about two weeks ago but were still in contact every few days nothing personal or intimate except when he would send me mixed signals and claimed they were just hypotheticals. He wants me to move on but still has feelings for me. I want us to get back together but he doesn’t want it I don’t know what to do. I am starting no contact but I am not sure where this will lead.
Chris Seiter
May 14, 2019 at 11:33 pm
HI Nik…so it sounds like no contact is the right medicine here. Be sure though to implement it the way I teach it in my program and don’t forget about your own ongoing recovery and growth.
Slp
April 12, 2019 at 1:01 am
My ex and I have remained close for about 9 months after our breakup. We were intimate and hung out but never went out. Talked daily. He’d text me good morning and FaceTimed me good night. Let me know when he was on his way home from work. He became angry at me about a month ago because he said that i accused him of him seeing someone. I wasn’t. I did what he does and teasingly asked if he was going on a date. But he insisted that I did and went silent on him. I texted him daily to try to get him to realize that I meant just what he did. And I didn’t want to argue with him about it. He came back with a “we need to go out separate ways because I can’t give you what you want. A relationship”. What does that have to do with why he wouldn’t talk to me. I hadn’t ask for a relationship even though he knows how I felt about him in nine months! We had always made up and gotten past things. He has always said to put the past in the past and we did just that! But this time he didn’t. I know 100% that he’s not seeing anyone. He lives across the street and I know his schedule. Plus he told me and we have always been honest with one another. After this incident he remained ignoring me and I would continue to text and annoy him. Finally after awhile we talked and had sex. Then he gave me the silent treatment after that again. I finally was able to get in touch with him via phone and he told me to move on. That he’s not mad. He’s annoyed by me. He thinks I’m a great person with a good heart but we are to different and I’ve pushed him away. I told him that it’s not fair that there is double standards and no, we aren’t two different people when it comes to relationships. We get along well except when he gets mad over simple things, we enjoy the same things, sexually things are head on and we have always been close and been best friends. And he said that when we remained close for nine months. That’s he’s glad that we had remained close. He said that he was thinking about changing his number or moving because I bothered him so much with my texting. I asked him if he felt that I was annoying or bothering him why would he have come over for sex? He said he shouldn’t have and that I need to move on. That it’s been over for a long time. Yet the same day that we had sex, he knew I went out with someone and kept trying to get out of me if we had slept together. And he keeps telling me that I say that other men ask me out so to go sarcastically. He told me not to text him and let him be. That he’s never been a friend with an ex before. I know that he’s annoyed by me but this is the man that has been my love and best friend for almost 3 1/2 years. He said two weeks prior to our incident that he cared about me and was into me. Then gets mad and says that he isn’t now. Is there any hope for us. I’d marry this man tomorrow if he asked as he’s my one true love. Any advice as to where to go from here would be appreciated. Im no longer going to text him. I just can’t see how me joking with him like he does me could have made him just want to alienate me from his life.
Sarah Whittaker
November 16, 2018 at 11:33 pm
My ex and I broke a month ago after three years. We still kept contact with each other after but it usually led to the blame game. He blames me for always starting argument until he got tired of it and move out. After I bacame needy a bit but stopped for a while. He’s just turned 30 and said he wanted to start his own family soon although he has no one to start it with. He says weren’t compatible for each other. He’s hurt and angry at me. We started no contact after our last argument year day. Should I just move on? He says he still love me just not in that way.
Chris Seiter
November 18, 2018 at 7:37 pm
Hi Sarah!
3 years together is a good amount of time together and that usually builds some traction which is a good thing. So don’t move on quite yet. Too early to know if that is the right choice. I would follow the NC program I have outlined out in my eBook Pro!
Eva
April 27, 2018 at 3:07 pm
Hey.
I already wrote on the “Ex blocked me” article.
I funnily got unblocked without me doing anything. And then he texted me. Kinda an apology but more to.tell me he wished things would work out but his body and rain can’t cope and we need to break contact to break the pattern og our unhealthy relationship and that it doesnt mean we get back together. I stayed cool but told him we should call. I was super relaxed during the call and I felt he opened more and more. We even remembered the good times. we talked a lot about what he wished and what I made wrong (he brought it up) but I stayed upbeat and laughing. I also told him I am super angry at how he treated me and that the split atm is a good idea to come back to me. Yet I tried to stay lightweight and he realised that. That was two days ago. I am still in NC now again because I think and hope he should make a move. But nothing. I am not sure if he tested me (well he did propably but I didnt beg or was needy) or if he really wishes us to move along.
he lost a lot.of attraction and I don’t know how to rekindle that now…
Chris Seiter
April 28, 2018 at 5:07 am
Hi Eva….just stay on course with your plan I discuss in my ebooks and in the posts!
Gia
February 24, 2018 at 11:48 pm
Hey me and my boyfriend had been together for 7 months in I’m 4 months pregnant in on Valentine’s Day he broke up with me because we had a little argument because he wants a DNA test in his brother influence him to put in his head that he don’t need to be with me and after my mom boyfriend live with us my boyfriend couldn’t take the fact he couldn’t have power over the house he couldn’t eat me and my mom food up in argue at me so I guess my experience got tired in call quick but today I text him in see if we can work things out I waited a week until he calm down cause I thought he need space but he told me the same stuff he told me last week was to move on I can’t do it before I gave you to many chances justove on but I do wish the best for you in I’m not changing my mind I can’t be with you
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 27, 2018 at 11:39 am
Hi Gia,
don’t put all the blame to yourself.. That’s bad for your baby and wallowing in self pity is not going to help your situation.
Gia
February 24, 2018 at 11:41 pm
Hey my boyfriend had broke up with me after Valentine’s Day in had told me he can’t do this because we had got in a big argument because I’m 5 months pregnant in he always get ,,influence from,his older brother when we have our problems so he asked me for a DNA test in yes it hurts me knowing he wanted one because I was loyal in relationship we been together for 7 months I was the longest girl he ever been with I never did anything to hurt him but he did so much to me that hurted me but I never thought of leaving him but anyways since my mom boyfriend came to leave with us in told my experience that need to get a job in stop being lazy andeating all our food up in stop arguing with me while I’m pregnant kind made my ex loose feelings for me I guess so today itry to work things out so we can be a family for our child but he told me no just move on I can’t be with you I gave you to many chances before and I’m not changing my mind I can’t do it just move on and I wish you the best in just I’m trying to understand what did I do so bad for him to give up one me in say them hurtful things while I’m carrying his child I was crying but I’m kinda over it now I don’t care nomore
Help
September 21, 2017 at 11:42 pm
My ex boyfriend told me to move on and we’re not getting back together, but I’ve told him that before and he told me before ..
In the article it says he might not mean it if he says it but will still reply to your messages ..
If I text my ex he still replys .. good or bad .
What does that mean ? & what should I do about it ? I’m just confused because we’ve said it to eachother before so I don’t know if he means it ..
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 27, 2017 at 4:24 pm
check this one:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
D
June 18, 2017 at 2:26 am
My boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago because I read his text messages without his permission. I became insecure after meeting his childhood female friend who actually gave him a book on dating upon first meeting me in person. In his texts she was telling him to break up with me for no good reason. I told him that I read the text and he said that he cannot figure out a logical way that he could ever trust me again but that he still likes me. He cried for 2 hours, gave me a long hug and made really intense eye contact before leaving. I was trying to ignore it. But he made it so obvious. His friends really like me and feel that the other girl might like him and that she is not a good person. One told me to not give up on him, please. He is away on a trip currently. He’ll be back in a few days and is supppsed to contact me to talk. I’m not sure what to do. His family keeps writing on my Facebook. He doesn’t have a Facebook. He said that he broke up with me because he can’t trust me. That it has nothing to do with his female friend and that he is not interested/attracted to her. I’m his first girlfriend in 8 years and he is 30.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 20, 2017 at 7:44 pm
How long we’re you together?
Hopeless
June 17, 2017 at 2:36 pm
Hi Chris & Amor, I broke up with ex boyfriend 3 weeks ago, after a 1,5 year relationship. I really regret it but he thinks I moved on and that I’m back with my ex boyfriend which is absolutely not the case. I really want him back but when we talk, all he says is how much he hates me and that I’m a stranger to him now. He tells me that he doesn’t love me anymore at all and doesn’t care for me. I’d like to believe that he’s saying these things out of anger or hurt but he also blocked me in every way possible. In the beginning I made every mistake possible but now I’m trying the no contact. It just hurts so much cause he’s following, liking and flirting with so many new girls now. I really don’t know what to do, do you thinks it’s hopeless and I should give up?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 19, 2017 at 6:55 pm
why does he think you’re back with your ex? what did you tell him about that?
R
May 28, 2017 at 9:59 am
Hi I am new to this but rly hope to get a response… My bf of 2 yrs broke up with my via text yesterday after I said something to upset him the night before. We have a ton going on in our lives right now.. both r single parents, both of our vehicles r broken down & cant afford to get them fixed so have barely seen each other in the past month after usually spending every day together like 1 big happy family.. on top of that I’m going through ovarian cancer…. I haven’t handled not seeing him & his kids very well & I miss them terribly.. so do my kids. I felt like he didn’t miss me too because he didn’t say it at all & I felt he was becoming distant. Well last night we were texting & joking like things were fine.. he even mentioned taking time off for a cruise were planning when I’m done with my treatments.. but when i tried the talk to him about how distant he’s been he just flipped & broke up with me.. I let it be thinking he just overreacted which he tends to do but when I texted him the next morning he stuck with it.. he told me not to try to guilt him back into it, that I am what’s wrong with everything in my life & past relationships.. & not to text him… I begged him to reconsider like an idiot but then just left him alone… I love him & his kids & just want our happy family back.. plus my treatments make me even more emotional than I normally would be. I can’t believe this is happening. Do you have any advice to help me get him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 29, 2017 at 7:09 pm
Hi R,
give it a week..just be silent
SLA
May 13, 2017 at 5:23 am
Hello,
I have an out of the blue question. I know this is ex boyfriend recovery but I am a 25 year old female and I would love to be a part of the Facebook private chat due to my situation. I’ve heard it is very helpful and I could use all of the support I can. My ex is just like a guy when it comes to emotions and personality, but more emotions. I am a tomboy but act with the emotions of a woman lol. I have a huge heart and will do anything to have my ex back. We dated for 2 years. I just wanted to make sure it is appropriate since a lot of women can relate to these situations. Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 13, 2017 at 2:49 pm
did you mean you want to know to join the facebook group? if yes, this is the link for it:
Private Facebook Group
A
May 8, 2017 at 1:27 am
What should i do if my exbf knows i visit this site?
A
May 18, 2017 at 2:10 am
He told my friend he knew I was visiting this site .. and my friend told me .. what should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 19, 2017 at 9:10 pm
yup..that means initiating contact after 45 days is very obvious.. you can still improve yourself and be active in posting but for him to think that you’re really moving on, you have to do a very long no contact period.. for it to seem real that you have moved on and you’re just being friendly when you initiate contact..
A
May 18, 2017 at 2:10 am
He told my friend he knew I was visiting this site .. and my friend told me .. this is bad right?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 11, 2017 at 2:17 pm
what do you mean? did he tell younor you told him?
Kelsey
May 2, 2017 at 7:23 pm
After dating for over two year I broke up with my boyfriend. I regret it and I begged to her him back. He started talking to a new girl about two weeks after the break up. He’s has tired to help me with my emotional distress but it hasn’t worked and he only gets frustrated with me. He says he’s not commented on either way on our relationship(meaning he has not committed to getting back together or never getting back together). And he says he doesn’t know what’s gonna happen in the future but his hearts not in it right now. Today He told me he doesn’t think the new girl is rebound. But he has also said he has barely gotten to know her yet and he isn’t ready for a relationship. He still cares about me but I have been to be too much recently. And because I made him feel unwanted during the last part of our relationship, he is still really hurt and angry. He said he wants time and space and for me to move on for now. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 3, 2017 at 6:29 pm
do at least 30 days of no contact period..be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media
Kiko
May 1, 2017 at 9:05 am
Thanks for the reply!
Since it’s the first time meeting up, I don’t want to talk about our relationship/break-up, I just want to have fun, so he gets positive emotions about meeting up, it that a good idea?
Also, should I make plans for another meet-up when I’m with him? How many days/weeks should be between those meet-up’s?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2017 at 11:51 am
yup just have fun and leave at high note.. theres no concrete time span on when you should meet up.. if he raises meeting again, good..if not, dont mention it
Jessica J
April 30, 2017 at 9:12 pm
Me and my boyfriend of 1 year and 8 months . (On and off )Broke up the 26th because for 3 weeks before then I’ve been very emotional and confused, I kept breaking up with him every like 4 days and then would come right back the next day .& just kept starting arguments between us , I think it was because I was upset about something I found out and month ago and was holding it in and it finally started bothering me . Finally on that day he said he’s tried of it and it’s annoying and said we needed a break for a while I said ok and didn’t contact him the rest of that day or the next day but the 3rd day (yesterday) I texted the conversation was fast & neutral . Later at night I messed up by texting him and asking him to come have drinks with me and some friends , he ignored me .
Today I texted him , I asked if we were ok he said “yeah we’re ok”
Then I asked are we still on speaking terms he said he “I need to be alone for a while ”
I asked what did I do to make him not like me anymore , he said “Its not that I don’t like you , I just want to be alone don’t make this into something it’s not ”
Then I asked was he done for good and should I move on he said “yes , I’m sorry if that’s not what you want . But that’s what I want and need ”
When I started asking why , he said “this is an prime reason Right here , all you do is push and push , and it’s just pushing me to not want to talk ” then ended the conversation saying “About to go do errands ill ttyl sometime”
I texted back saying of course I’m acting like this because I love you and it hurts for you to tell me to move on .
He didn’t reply.
I decided to start no contact after that message but should I do no contact to try and get him back at the end ? Or should I cut contact to move on like he said ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2017 at 11:38 am
do no contact to heal and improve.. if after no contact you want to build rapport go ahead while continuing to improve yourself.. if it doesn’t work, move on
Jessica J
April 30, 2017 at 9:06 pm
Me and my boyfriend of 1 year and 8 months . (On and off )Broke up the 26th because for 3 weeks before then I’ve been very emotional and confused, I kept breaking up with him every like 4 days and then would come right back the next day .& just kept starting arguments between us , I think it was because I was upset about something I found out and month ago and was holding it in and it finally started bothering me . Finally on that day he said he’s tried of it and it’s annoying and said we needed a break for a while I said ok and didn’t contact him the rest of that day or the next day but the 3rd day (yesterday) I texted the conversation was fast & neutral . Later at night I messed up by texting him and asking him to come have drinks with me and some friends , he ignored me .
Today I texted him , I asked if we were ok he said “yeah we’re ok”
Then I asked are we still on speaking terms he said he “I need to be alone for a while ”
I asked what did I do to make him not like me anymore , he said “Its not that I don’t like you , I just want to be alone don’t make this into something it’s not ”
Then I asked was he done for good and should I move on he said “yes , I’m sorry if that’s not what you want . But that’s what I want and need ”
When I started asking why , he said “this is an prime reason Right here , all you do is push and push , and it’s just pushing me to not want to talk ” then ended the conversation saying “About to go do errands ill ttyl sometime”
I texted back saying of course I’m acting like this because I love you and it hurts for you to tell me to move on .
He didn’t reply.
I decided to start no contact after that message but should I do no contact to try and get him back at the end ? Or should I cut contact to move on like he said ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2017 at 11:36 am
do no contact to heal and improve.. if after no contact you want to build rapport go ahead while continuing to improve yourself.. if it doesn’t work, move on
Jessica J
April 30, 2017 at 9:06 pm
Me and my boyfriend of 1 year and 8 months . (On and off )Broke up the 26th because for 3 weeks before then I’ve been very emotional and confused, I kept ending it with him every like 4 days and then would come right back the next day .& just kept starting arguments between us , I think it was because I was upset about something I found out and month ago and was holding it in and it finally started bothering me . Finally on that day he said he’s tried of it and it’s annoying and said we needed a break for a while I said ok and didn’t contact him the rest of that day or the next day but the 3rd day (yesterday) I texted the conversation was fast & neutral . Later at night I messed up by texting him and asking him to come have drinks with me and some friends , he ignored me .
Today I texted him , I asked if we were ok he said “yeah we’re ok”
Then I asked are we still on speaking terms he said he “I need to be alone for a while ”
I asked what did I do to make him not like me anymore , he said “Its not that I don’t like you , I just want to be alone don’t make this into something it’s not ”
Then I asked was he done for good and should I move on he said “yes , I’m sorry if that’s not what you want . But that’s what I want and need ”
When I started asking why , he said “this is an prime reason Right here , all you do is push and push , and it’s just pushing me to not want to talk ” then ended the conversation saying “About to go do errands ill ttyl sometime”
I texted back saying of course I’m acting like this because I love you and it hurts for you to tell me to move on .
He didn’t reply.
I decided to start no contact after that message but should I do no contact to try and get him back at the end ? Or should I cut contact to move on like he said ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2017 at 11:36 am
do no contact to heal and improve.. if after no contact you want to build rapport go ahead while continuing to improve yourself.. if it doesn’t work, move on
Tess
April 30, 2017 at 1:08 pm
Hey ,
My boyfriend broke up with me almost 6 months Ago after a short term relationship, we saw each other 3 months later, I made the convincing him to be with me mistake after the breakup. The time I saw him he didn’t have feelings anymore he said, then he got angry at me and apologised overreacting and asked to please stay friends.
Then he didn’t talk to me at all except for wishing me a happy birthday, so I asked him if he really does want to stay ‘friends’ he said yes but we don’t fit in each others life anymore, which I a few days later responded with a sincere apology and saying in that case it might be better to forget him.. now I didn’t make contact for almost 2 months. Everything I will do will push him away so I’m kind of hoping he will change his mind and contact me.
I still miss him, he was a good guy, we just had a distance and I made him lose interest over being ‘needy’ texting him I think.
Do you know anything for me to fix this? I really have no idea where to start..
x
Tess
May 1, 2017 at 9:36 pm
Hey amor,
Yes it was a long distance relationship.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 2, 2017 at 6:41 pm
if you didn’t contact him and you know you changed, then initate contact.. if he doesn’t respond well, move on
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2017 at 10:32 am
you mean you’re in a long distance relationship?
d
April 30, 2017 at 12:14 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago. We have had the same fight over the entire course of our relationship, about a friend of his who has a thing for him. I felt she was overstepping her boundaries to him, and he also lied to me a couple of times about the situation to “avoid conflict” with me. The funny thing is, i never saw this girl as a threat because i knew he would never be attracted to her, but i still felt threatened by their friendship. she used to sleep at his house when her ex would lock her out of their shared apt together. then the girl ended up moving across the street from my boyfriend and they are all part of the same friend group. I only get to really see my boyfriend on the weekend due to our work schedules and distance in the places we live. HIs bday was a couple of weeks ago and that girl was there and i unfortunately had too much to drink and was a complete and utter bitch the entire night. It as really bad, i just shut down, and it was pretty obvious i was furious causing his friends to leave. (i know, i know, i am extremely embarassed by this)
We had a huge fight about her again about 4 days ago to which the convo ended that he would text me in a couple of days to see how i feel, and then 2 days ago he explosively broke up with me OVER TEXT. He ranted and released all his pent up anger from our relationship, saying some really hurtful things, while I apologized and took blame for almost everything (even though i know it takes 2 to tango). This went on for FOUR HOURS and then finally he said “ok i’ll stop now”. i said a couple of more things, then ended the conversation as well, thinking that’s it, there’s nothing more to say. He texted me again yesterday morning, with the aggressive comment ” you were supposed to change your behavior in my compassion toward you. you just didn’t”.
I know he is angry and hurt, but i already accepted the blame for everything and even suggested ways to which i would correct all the crap that has happened. i even said i would apologize to his friends and get to know them to which he replied “my friends don’t care and neither do it, i stopped caring on my birthday. learn your lesson and move on”. I’m annoyed that every time we would have an argument he would say it’s alright after, get over it, and keep acting like it was all gravy with us.
I agree when he said “this should be the happiest time for us and we fought the whole time”. He wants a lady who is going to make him #1 in her life, ,since he doesn’t really have family to lean on. i think he is pretty set on finding a wife at this point since he is in his mid 30’s and i’m in my early 30’s. We haven’t said i love you to each other yet, but we did talk about the future and what that meant, etc. he even mentioned talking about us getting a place together within the next year after he meet my family (the weekend before his explosive birthday).
I guess my question is, why the hell did he send that text yesterday? to have the last word? does he secretly want to work it out? i already started no contact by not replying, but i know he won’t take well to me playing games either. i am leaning back to let him cool off, but i genuinely feel like a majority of this (NOT ALL) is my fault due to the way i was acting and taking it out on him about the girl.
Any suggestions? Or should i really just keep it moving?
d
April 30, 2017 at 10:26 pm
“he thought the break up…”? sorry, confused…
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2017 at 10:49 am
sorry that was a type.. I mean, he thought about the break up, it crossed his mind if he did the right thing.
d
April 30, 2017 at 6:11 pm
it looks like he thought the break up..?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 2:23 pm
it looks like he thought the break up.. but you should just continue in nc.. because he’s not asking for you back..so, for now continue in nc