My Ex Lost Feelings For Me- How Can I Get Them Back?

81 thoughts on “My Ex Lost Feelings For Me”

Kelly

March 4, 2020 at 4:09 am

Hey, my ex said he lost feelings for me because I stifled him and he can’t be his individual self. He says he’s too young to be so committed and he just doesn’t love me anymore. He told me all that we needed To work on and one of the things he mentioned is that we should not be texting each other as much as we did Since we aren’t teenagers. However, he has been keeping conversations via WhatsApp since then So it has left me confused. Also, I really don’t know if we’re broken up or not, I begged for us to work things out and he agreed but he hasn’t told me if he misses me or loves me or anything. I don’t know if I should initiate the “what are we?” Conversation.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 7, 2020 at 8:31 pm

Hey Kelly, so if you and he were constantly in contact through the day and then spending time at the end of the day. It takes it toll out of the relationship and gives you less to speak about. Having that time apart during the day is important for when you see each other later in the day. As for where you are right now you need to allow him the space he needs and be less available to him. That way he is chasing you. Don’t be cold with him just not available. If he does end things with you then you need to into an immediate No Contact

Itzel

February 23, 2020 at 7:51 am

Me and my boyfriend broke up. We dated about a year. His depression came back after half a month of us dating. There was definitely a diffrence in our relationship. He loved me more then I loved him in the beginning but that all changed when his depression came back I think. He talked about how he was confused and didn’t know what he wanted. He thinks I’m very special so he wanted to keep me in his life if we did end up splitting. He said the feelings would go away and come back. If he saw me he would be happy with my presence. After a few months, he said he wanted to be alone. He doesn’t know what he is doing and just doesnt want to socialize much. He mentioned indirectly that he might have clinical depression. He hasn’t gone to see a therapist at all. I made sure to demonstrate him that I am here for him and willing to put in effort in the relationship and be understanding. After a few months, he stopped trying. I would be the one to tell him to hang out every weekend. A week before I broke with him he said he took advantage of me by thinking ill always be there for him so he wouldn’t put effort to go on dates with me or hang out. He said he cares about me and still wants to see me as friends and I said I can’t do that. I can not be friends with an ex and I made that clear to him. That same day I told him at least he was loyal to me but he said “a week before the breakup I imagined how it would be to have sex with this one girl” cuz I guess she had a nice body. He didn’t do anything with her but talk casual cuz he was still with me. He also said he is not interested in being with another girl now cuz he just wants to do him. He said he is only thinking about him and that its unfair of me to be in the relationship. There was one point we didn’t see each other for a month but we did facetime and texted but he said that he was fine although I was on his mind? He said he just feels nothing but does love me as a friend? I don’t plan to text him anymore and delete him from all social media. Do you think he would come back with his feelings he once had for me? Our relationship was so natural and comfortable. Being together felt right.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 3, 2020 at 10:51 pm

Hey Itzel, if you complete the No Contact rule and then apply the information about the Holy Trinity then your ex is going to start to remember why he fell for you when you start reaching out again, which is where you work yourself up the value ladder and re attract him

Savannah

January 29, 2020 at 6:25 pm

Hi my name is Savannah i’m 21,
My boyfriend of almost eight months and I just broke up this past thursday… it’s been 5 days… I miss him so much and I’ve cried so much I don’t think I can cry anymore… we’ve been doing long distance the past 4 months but it’s only an hour and a half…. I’ve always checked in on making sure he was okay with it and he said yes… i continually asked him if he still saw a future together and if he still loved me… he never hesitated he always said yes… every now and then I questioned our relationship when I no longer felt the feeling of love or just wholeness together… but I chose to stick it out and in a couple of weeks or once even a month I was fine… those feelings came back and I was fine…. but I never talked to him about it and I should have… recently I found out he had been doing some things that weren’t great and I didn’t like and I felt like he was prioritizing that thing over me and he said he was sorry and would try to make it better and would come see me soon… then two days later I realized he wasn’t going to stop he was just going to hide it… I brought it back up and that’s when he said if I can be with him while he changes we cant be together for the rest of our lives… but the thing was he was changing for the bad not the good… I cried I begged him to work through it… we’d been making plans for valentine’s day… me meeting his coworkers at his new job… we’d even looked at engagement and wedding bands on my birthday a few weeks before… when he ended it that night I called our best friend and cried my eyes out… he told Me my bf had talked to him that night too… said that he would never quit what he was doing for me… then my bf called me back and then said it was the distance but then talking my best friend it wasn’t… saying that he just said it was the distance but in reality he just wasn’t going to stop… I knew it wasn’t the distance it had been so easy for us we handled it sooo well we really did… we saw eachother almost every other weekend… we had also just seen eachother for a month straight… and we’re still making plans for the future… but then his excuse stopped being the distance… on Saturday I took him his things to give back to him… he didn’t answer the door at first cuz he had his head phones on… I had to have his grandma call him to tell him to go to the door… she didn’t even know we’d broken up… he came to the door was surprised and I gave him his stuff we went back to his room… cried and both hugged eachother he just said I deserve better and that I’d find someone else… I just kept telling him I loved him and begged him to work it out… but then his parents came home… he told me it wasn’t my fault and then I left… i we haven’t talked since except once when I messaged him Monday saying I wouldn’t talk to him after this and apologizing for not knowing something went wrong… he again told me it wasn’t my fault… in the last couple days my best friend has been helping me he’s also my bf best friend… he’s been saying how there’s a small chance we could get back together but he’s not sure… how my bf has been sick and is trying to stop doing what he’s doing… how he said he’s trying to get used to being single again and is scared that I hate him and don’t want to be friends anymore… I want to say there’s still hope for us but I’m not sure…

I don’t want to talk to him because I’m scared I’ll push him away more I want to give him space to think but I don’t want to give him to much to where we can’t go back… I feel like I should write him a letter explaining how sometimes relationships are hard and you have to work through it how sometimes you fall out of love but you have to choose to love that person every single day in order to make it work…. I was thinking about taking it to him and just sitting there while he reads it so we can talk after so we can see how we still feel…

But what should I really do?! I can’t loose him… I love him too much to let all this go down the drain… I want to fight for us…
Love, Savannah

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 7, 2020 at 10:10 pm

Hey Savannah, if you want to give yourself your best chance then reading and implementing the information on this website is giving yourself the best chance of getting your ex back. Remember the most important part of this process is learning to be happy single and learning to love yourself. When you master these two aspects you will see other parts of your life click into place

Brandi B

January 22, 2020 at 12:43 pm

We dated 6 weeks. At one point he said he needed to think about things & then later said he was scared to get close to someone again but we continued talking & seeing each other. He mentioned xmas gifts & said we were dating & then 2 days before Xmas stopped everything. I tried texting, calling, Snapchat & messenger xmas night in a panic bc I was reacting & didn’t understand. Nothing. He continued to be my friend on FB & looked at my stories on Snapchat. One day he was with our mutual friend & she sent him a message I had sent to her about him, I didn’t know she’d do it, & all he said was yeah, sorry, I haven’t handled this well. I lost it & got pissed, went to his place, called several times & sent messenger & Snapchat again…..I know I went postal & it was awful!! I know I screwed up royally. I also unfriended him on FB in the heat of the moment. Later when I cooled down I sent a request back to him & a text sincerely apologizing. Nothing still. He continued to look at Snapchat for that night & 2 more then stopped. I asked my friend why he would accept my FB request & if he’d ever forgive me for what I did. She said he said he doesn’t want to be friends. Then 2 days later he looked at the Snapchat I sent him the day of freak out but he hasn’t looked at my stories since. Last night I spoke with her to see if he ever would forgive & she said that maybe before the day I freaked out there was a chance but after that, he’s just done. No feelings, no speaking, no friendship, no nothing. He wants nothing to do with me. It is over & I destroyed everything in 1 day 2 weeks into NC after the breakup and I truly hate myself.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 24, 2020 at 12:51 pm

Hi Brandi dont be so hard on yourself! Many people have been in a similar situation to you so focus on yourself for some time, spend 30 days in No Contact and read as much articles you can on this website, watch Chris videos on YouTube to help you through the process

Jack wensley

December 31, 2019 at 3:17 am

Recently my girlfriend broke up with me saying she needs some space to figure out her feelings as she wasnt sure about us anymore more we dated for like 2+ years it was going on well she loved me n i loved her back but suddenly during tis two or three months suddenly there is a off.what should be the best thing to do at this time? I really love her.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 3, 2020 at 6:02 am

Hi Jack so at this time I would allow her space to consider how she truly feels inside. If she wants the break allow her this time to start missing you and worry that you have moved on

Kimberly

December 14, 2019 at 11:26 pm

Hi,

My ex boyfriend of 2+ years broke up with me about two weeks ago, over text. On nov 29 his mother told me he was lying about his grades at school and i got very mad that he kept lying to me about these little things (we often had petty fights about small mistakes but we would always make it up in no time). It was on sunday dec 1, he told me that morning how much he loved me and that he couldn’t live without me. It was then sunday evening when he suddenly texted me he wanted to break up. He said that the last 2 months he was doubting his feelings for me. For me it came out of the blue, i did not see it coming because he wasn’t distant or anything the last 2 months (he even booked a hotel for €180 for our 2 years anniversary at sep 29). Although i was very pissed that weekend because of his lying and said soms bad things to him, i still did not expect him to break up so sudden.
In Feb we once broke up for only one night, because of the same reason: he lost feelings for me because i became upset whenever he made mistakes or that i sometimes kept nagging for no reason (i admit that i did but when we talked about this multiple times, i nagged much less). He then texted me the next morning he loved me and wanted to talk and that same day we were happy and back together.
I promised him that i would change (i seriously want to change myself, also for me), but he keeps being stubborn. The first week after the break up i kept begging and texting, but he replied very dry and he said his feelings won’t come back. I kept begging and pushing him by asking him to talk, he then got very irritated and went to my house to pick up his stuff. When he picked up his stuff, he didn’t want to talk or even look me in the eyes. I apolegized a few times en he thanked me for that. We hugged a couple times and we were both crying a lot. He left within 5 minutes and later that evening i texted him once again begging for a chance. I asked my friends and family what to do, but they keep saying it is all hopeless. I started searching the internet en followed a few steps. I tried NC for a few days when he eventually texted me by himself (yesterday dec 13). It was nothing special, he just asked me how i’ve been and that he has problems at school and at home. I thought it was a good time to listen to his problems and encourage him instead of begging for a last chance. This went well but it became very hard for me to continue NC. I texted him today asking him how he’s been and we spoke a few words. He replied once again very dry and i eventually started begging again. He said he still misses me, but knows his feeling won’t come back. He also doesn’t want give it a try or talk about it. This is very hard for me, because now that i know what the problem was (a little more freedom and a little less nagging from me), i can and want to change that about myself.
We have been in contact for 2,5 years, we did everything together en were eachothers first lovers en bestfriends. And now it seems that he has thrown me out of his life completly. He posts selfies and goes out all the time. I miss him very very much and i have cried at least a million times the last two weeks. I want him back so bad and i don’t know what to do anymore. Everybody keeps saying i have no chances left and that i just should leave it alone. I know i should work on myself and i’m doing the best i can, but i want to text him all the time saying how much i miss him and want him back.
Is there any chance on getting my ex back? And what should i do now? I’m really desperate!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 15, 2019 at 11:12 pm

Hey Kimberley, so you need to start with No Contact and read about what it is you need to do during that time, read as much as you can on this website that applies to your situation and make notes of the changes you need to make to your life, what you need to do to work on your holy trinity and to become Ungettable

Marshall Yoo

November 19, 2019 at 1:23 am

I dated a girl long distance for around a year. At first I met her after ending another relationship where I was not really over. I went on an online app and surrounded myself with a bunch of new people. She initially put me in the friend zone but it became something more when the person she was seeing put her in an ultimatum and she chose me.Things and even though long distance is hard we found creative ways to make it work such as long phone calls, watching movies at the same time, etc. We were very serious but had to work creatively since her parents did not like the fact that we met online.

After about 6 months, I developed an addiction to gaming. It is important that you know that I have ADHD, which makes it hard for me to transition from tasks, my intentions sometimes don’t match my actions, impulsivity, etc. What I would do is start playing a game while I waited for her to finish up what she was doing. When she was ready, I would keep her waiting, as I play with friends and I find it hard to say no to them. This started to create a feeling of disappointment as night after night I would do the same thing. She obviously recognized this and confronted me saying we should take a break. I stupidly fought to keep her and because she loved me she always gave in. I promised I would change but never really did. I did want to but I needed professional help and also probably needed to actually feel what it was like to not be with her.

After 6 more months and a couple more unsuccessful break ups by her, she finally was able to break up with me for real. She had lost all feeling for me, also found someone else, and did not want to feel the negative emotions that I created for her. I put her in a bad place and she never really told me till then. For the first time I realized what it was like to lose her, and was finally ready to make real changes in my life to stay together. But it was of course already too late.

Since I made a stupid promise when she first friend zoned me that we should be friends no matter what and I was hurt and desperate to get her back, I tried everything. My life went into a downward spiral filled with failing out of school (because I didn’t go to class), failing out of my job as my universities woman’s basketball team manager (something that is my passion and that I love more than anything, also something that I want to pursue in that career field), and I became suicidal (*Sean Kingston “when they say its overrrrr”, I tried to seriously do it twice but don’t worry I am not suicidal anymore).

She dealt with her own new relationship, which had its own ups and downs and I dealt with being forced to be only her friend. Our interactions with her hurt me a lot because she made me feel unimportant; she would call me but hang up to respond to a message or call from her ex, she would talk to her ex OTP while OTP with me. I forgot to mention she was in a long distance relationship with him too. So they did the same things me and her use to do; they even started watching the same shows. The replacement hurt. Feeling like the waiting room for when her BF got off work or on a break hurt. I tried to keep it inside me but because of the person I am with strong morals and a strong sense of right and wrong I couldn’t help but be hostile to her to try to make her understand what she was making me feel. A lot of the times I would threaten and talk about suicide was mostly to feel something from her; feel like she cared about me and that I actually mattered. As I said before there were only two real attempts that were thankfully unsuccessful.

Understandably, she stopped talking to me for two long stretches of time. From Thanksgiving to March and then from March to May. Her reasons where unknown but I can guess it was some combination of curiosity, boredom, she wanted to know if I had gotten over her, and maybe she actually wanted to be friends. I wouldn’t dare to hope it was because she had feelings because I knew there weren’t any. Both times it ended with her realizing that I still felt the same way.

Fast forward to this summer. I get a message from her BF that he convinced my ex to start talking to me again and be friends and that we would join a group chat together. I was very confused (my dad is a lawyer I am always skeptical) and I was looking for some ulterior motives. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy till much later. It is also important to note that we had become sort of friends with him giving me advice and talking to me. He always gave me bad advice and I did the opposite (for an example I was hurting and was emotionally and I knew it was a bad idea to express my hurtfulness to my ex but he thought I should just do it even though it was late at night and I was off my medications which makes me at a greater risk of doing or saying something I regret).

Joining the group chat, since this was the only way to talk to my ex, I was determined to not make her BF feel like the 3rd wheel. I included him in conversations, asked the same questions to him that I did to my ex even though I did not really care what the answer was, etc. He did the opposite, flexing on me by being all lovey dovey with my ex in front of me and testing my resolve. This was probably the reason why he wanted to do this. Twice I lost it leaving the group. The second time her BF lost patience with me after I threatened another suicide attempt (I was just saying how I felt). He said he did not want to be included and said that I probably knew that my ex wouldn’t want to keep talking/keep the group chat. He said “Its up to her”.

The next day I talked my ex and she chose to give me another chance. Her ex went berserk questioning if he was still her boyfriend, making her feel like she disappointed him, and saying it was the wrong choice. My ex was very upset and came to the conclusion I cannot talk to you (me) anymore. She of course made amends and admitted she was in the wrong (which was total BS and everyone knew it but she was too emotionally weak to be without him). I chipped away at her defenses, when one day she posted on Snapchat a picture of all the work she had to do. Because I still loved her, I asked if she wanted help on her essay (English was my best subject in high school and my school is notorious for teaching their students how to write). She was thankful even though she admitted she wasn’t really suppose to be talking to me.

A few weeks later, the two of them had broken up. At first I was upset because I thought I was the main cause of the break up and I honestly would have felt so bad that I could potentially be the reason my ex would never be happy again. But it was some BS excuse her now ex BF made up about how his older brother thought their relationship was unhealthy and they shouldn’t date till later. I immediately called BS on the whole thing and urged her to cut him off for good. They instead stayed as friends but still basically did all the same things when they were dating. One day I finally got her to see what was going on and she finally confronted him. I love her and would have made an effort to go see her if I was a couple hours drive away, I would have still been with her in secret (I did that before), and I would have done anything and more. The fact he was not willing to do those things for her tipped the scale.

So more towards the present this is the situation I am in now (sorry this is so long my story is long and I feel a lot of little details need to be included to fully understand what is going on). She still has no feelings for me, as she has had for almost a year officially now. I am still her friend. I am the best friend she could ever have. I always help her with schoolwork, help entertain her by watching stuff with her, sometimes go to sleep with her OTP at night, always answer her calls when shes driving to school or coming home or home alone during the day, and I was there when she had emotional outbursts about missing her ex, the horrible things her ex is now doing (the classic making fake tik tocs about her, showing that he has already moved on with another girl that is the opposite of my ex so she feels insecure, etc he is low key a fuck boy), and the death of her Uncle, whom she was very close with since he helped raise her while her mother was still finishing up school. However, she constantly talks about other guys. I am different in the sense that I am better at masking my emotions around her but the pain still hurts every time its not me she wants or loves. Personally, I am taking time off from college to figure out how to resolve my problems and having her come back into my life has helped me focus on becoming the best version of myself to a certain extent (getting there I feel motivated to become the best version of myself for myself but don’t worry thats a different story that I have a psychologist for). Basically I am more of the person that she broke up with than I am a better, changed version of myself. But I still feel like an emotionally crutch. She only talks to me when she wants to or when she needs to, she constantly brings up other guys, when I asked if she wanted to leave the call so she could focus on her work she said it does matter, I don’t care. Currently I do not have a lot going on in my life out of school and without a job.

What should I do? Is it worth going no contact at this point where I feel like she won’t care or miss me and will probably just replace me? How can I leave someone that I love when she needs me more than ever in her life? How can I not be freaked out that I don’t have my best friend anymore? What is the point of all this potential suffering that will leak into my personal life and goals of improvement if it won’t lead to anything and will just make things worse? Everyone has always told me to give up, to cut her out, to forget her and I tried unsuccessfully.

The worst part about living through what I did was the fact I knew it was my fault. I couldn’t bring the strength to do what needed to be done to keep our relationship going and now I was condemned to a life of what-ifs and regrets. But the fighter resilient part of me refused to believe that this was how it was going to end. This part urged me not to give up, even when all my friends except her ex (who became my friend for some reason but I now found out treated it as a joke). I have a fire inside me where if I want to do something, I make it happen (that sounds super rapey but I am not a rapist please haha). I have this fire of determination that would not let me quit. I still do not want to quit. But I do not know if I am just delusional and actually should give up or if there is something I can do. I am willing to do whatever it takes this time to try to fix things. I am trying to stay more positive and confident but it is hard and feel like I need some guidance before I go somewhere that I cannot get out of. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 23, 2019 at 11:00 pm

Hey Marshall, so there is a lot of information here, so to keep this as short as possible. It is great you are in a better mental place and not feeling suicidal anymore, but if those emotions come back you do need to seek some professional help to work through them. You sound as if you are very young, younger than 20 if I am going to give it a guess so I suggest going to school council for some extra support through school and your issues that you are having.

I think your ex is quite happy having you there for the emotional comfort and support that you give to her, and you are very much in the friendzone, and to get out of that friend zone it is going to take some work and a lot of emotional control, which I suggest you question if you feel up to doing this. Now as for her replacing you with another guy, there is a way you can maybe get her back as a love interest, that starts with a No Contact, and you dating other people. Or making it look like you are. This is going to spark some (hopefully) jealousy from her enough to try and get you interested in her instead. Making sure you are doing this for the right reasons and are able to commit to her in a long distance relationship properly and not go back into old habits again.

Jill

November 4, 2019 at 5:56 pm

So, my ex and I dated for five years. It would be six years next month. In August 2018, he broke up with me, while we still had two months left on the lease of an apartment. I never got an explanation of what happened, but the truth came out eventually. He just kept saying he loved me, but wasn’t in love with me. And he felt we ran our course. No warning if anything making it seem like he was unhappy. I moved out of the apartment at the end of October and started hanging with someone else. My ex eventually told me he met someone else too, but played it off like he met her after we broke up. He ended up meeting her in July 2018 and ended things with me to be able to hang with her. Through the months of October, November, December and January he downplayed everything that he had going on with this girl. Said they were friends with benefits. Said he didn’t want to be in a relationship and she didn’t either and they were on the same page. He also carried on about regretting breaking up with me, loved me and missed me, blah blah blah. Finally we hung out in February 2019 and he strongly encouraged me to end things with the guy I was seeing and he was going to end things with the girl. I ended up finding out when they had met, and the whole story of the two of them and how much was involved, due to her making her Facebook public and letting me see all the things he had said to her and everything else. She really liked him. In April, I found out he was reaching out to her saying he missed her, lost his mind, same things he said to me when they were hanging out. He ended up saying he has feelings for us both and he hung out with her at the end of April. He ended up sleeping with her and then told me it felt so wrong and he felt so guilty. He cut off contact with her again. In July he ended up telling me he sent her a text. Said he just wants to be her friend and I can trust him. (No I can’t!) They started to talk more and he told me he wasn’t confident in us. Saw her and slept with her. Then ended up turning to me again and said he missed me and has lost his mind. He drinks a good amount and he never appears drunk, but definitely uses it as a crutch. So he cut off contact with her again. I later found out she was a stripper and I wondered if that was the turn off to him, because she had started that in July 2019. So we had a few good months and he ended up spending time with his brother who lives out of state. Apparently his brother is super unhappy in his marriage and they have two kids. He feels trapped and is so sad that he can’t be with anyone else again, and can’t even consider divorce because he doesn’t want the kids to go through that. My ex ended up crying while we were hanging out and then told me he was super depressed. This was three weeks ago. He played off that he didn’t want to talk to anyone, and he was missing work. He ended up later admitting to me that he did reach out to the other girl AGAIN and that he is scared of commitment and never wants to get married. He said with her, it’s easy because there is no long term talk, nothing matters. He had admitted previously that he uses her for sex. He told me he wanted some space from me because every time I text him, he cries. And when I send multiple texts, he has panic attacks. I finally stopped reaching out and I haven’t talked to him in four days, and he has missed days of work within the last three weeks. I feel like the missing work is related to the depression, because he said he was having panic attacks, can’t sleep more than two hours a night, and suicidal thoughts. Should I just move on and realize it will never work again? We had never really gone thirty days with no contact, even when we were broken up and spending time with other people. I don’t feel like he truly knows what life without me is. But on the other hand, I thought if I wasn’t distracting him, maybe this new girl is the one he is supposed to be with and me not talking to him might make him realize that? He admits he is unstable when he turns towards this girl, and I don’t know if it is a coping mechanism. He is on anti depressants and has seen therapists in the past. I’m just curious if anyone thinks he is over me, or if he is having a mental breakdown and if he got the help, we could move past this and he would stop reaching out to homegirl? Please give me any advice or suggestions you have! And I did tell his mom about the suicidal thoughts he said he was having, which he has never mentioned before. So others are aware and he is safe. Any feedback would be appreciated! This year has been crazy and tough!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 9, 2019 at 7:23 pm

So I would say right now he shouldnt be in a relationship with either you or the other girl until he has some better control of his emotions, anxiety and depression. As it sounds like he is juggling too many things internally. I would stick to a 30 day No Contact as he needs to MISS YOU properly. Every time you reply to him you’re giving him the assurance that you are still there waiting for him to come back to you, even if you are with someone else he knows he has that window of opportunity. So let him have the sense you are gone and hes not got you as an option for a while. It will work in your favour as men want what they cant have, not the one who is waiting for them on the sidelines

Monica

October 31, 2019 at 8:59 am

Me and my ex broke up 2 months back when I asked him about the future of our relationship. He said he has lost feelings for me and found many of my habits irritating. I maintained no contact with him for a month post which I ended up calling him and begging him to come back and give our relationship another chance. He said no as he would lose feelings for me once again. I have not contacted him since then nor has he reached out to me again. What would you advise me to do in this situation?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 31, 2019 at 10:48 pm

Hi Monica, so this is something you need to work on to be the Ungettable girl so read up some of Chris’ articles about that. When we get into relationships we get comfortable and form habits where things can get “boring” and thats when one of the members of the relationship “lose feelings” because the excitement has gone for them.

Kelse

September 8, 2019 at 1:56 am

My girlfriend of 6 years recently just broke up with me. Said she lost feelings for me recently . We have been through so much. I know she loves me . I think somewhere in between she got to where she resentments me . I tried to talk to her first after the break up and I know that makes things worse. So I have started the NC . I’m hoping she will come back.
Lora Caronna

August 28, 2019 at 12:04 am

My boyfriend broke up with me last night. Im really confused because he says he still cares about me and knows that his actions have hurt me but he doesnt want to fix anything. He says im really important to him and that he wants us to stay close friends. I put everything into the relationship and now I’m the one who’s hurting. I still love him so much and I know he cares as well. He was crying so much when we ended things. Will he realise this is a mistake and change his mind?
Sarah

August 10, 2019 at 7:23 pm

My ex and I were together for over two years. I’d frequently hung out with his family and we had talked about moving in together. He broke up with me about two weeks ago. He said he doesn’t feel like he loves me as much as he used to while sobbing uncontrollably. We decided to speak again a week later but when we met up he admitted he had been miserable the last week but doesn’t think he’s going to change his mind because he can’t just force those feelings to come back and that we should move on. I accepted it because I told him I was not going to beg him to get back with me and that I only wanted if it if he did as well. He said that it was unrealistic for us to be friends immediately and we should limit contact for now but then he began messaging me every day. It was good conversation, in fact better than it had been towards the end of our relationship but it got to be too hard and I implemented the no contact rule a few days later, which he agreed to but then two days later he sent me several messages under the pretense of figuring out some logistics that we had already thoroughly talked through. When I didn’t respond, he sent maybe 3 or 4 other separate messages about an hour apart each. I did not respond to those and he hasn’t said anything else since then.
Brenna

July 24, 2019 at 9:58 pm

I recently got in a breakup with my ex and am dying to hear a professionals opinion as to why he did what he did. . We casually dated for about 3 months and he made it official in March. We officially were together for only 4 months. About a month and a half into the relationship we started saying I love you and lost our virginity to eachother. Nothing seemed wrong but he was never extremely romantic and cared more about other things like sports and hunting / fishing. He always hung out with his friends and he knew I hated them but I always encouraged him to be with them because they all have been friends for years. We went on a 4 day vacation together with some friends to the outer banks, NC in early June and after that is where it went down hill. I contacted him after that week and mentioned he needs to be a better boyfriend and more affectionate towards me because we’re getting more serious. He called me out of nowhere saying we never “clicked” in his opinion and he never thought we were meant to be but liked me enough to “try to make it work.” I questioned why he told me he loved me and continued to reassure me that we would never breakup and he didn’t have a solid answer. He said he doesn’t know what Love is and kept reassuring me because he thought it was make feelings come. Which makes no sense because at the beginning up until the vacation I could tell he was head over heels for me. After we ended it he started telling his friend group that I’m “psycho” for absolutely no reason because I handled the breakup very well other than asking a couple of questions. I do not contact him and he hasn’t tried talking to me even though he wanted to remain friends. I constantly hear mean things he says behind my back and can’t help to wonder how he could go from liking me so much to wanting absolutely nothing to do with me. We have the same friend group and they all hangout without me now so that it isn’t awkward. He invites my girl best friends everywhere and I don’t. Please help!!!!!
Nee

June 11, 2019 at 10:46 am

We dated long distance for three months everything was okay , though it was his first time to date long distance. We met online and after some weeks we exchanged our contacts and started using whats app messager , voice call and video calls.Everything was very okay between us , we always connected and always felt like we had known each other for so long until when I accidentally blocked him from the dating site while I was clearing junks unfortunately he was online and notified before I could resolve the issue he had already blocked me from all other sites which I could contact him. Its over a month since that incident happened. What should I do , should I assume its over and move on or hope he may resurface?
Rachel VanDusen

February 19, 2019 at 9:20 pm

my ex and I were together for 6 months, he lived 2 hours away. We were so in love with each other we both felt that we found the one. He would call every morning, and then in the evening until we went to bed unless the other had plans with a friend ect. This lasted 6 months. We only saw each other on the weekends we would alternate every other driving back and fourth it worked great. He has never lived alone he had 2 roommates who were his best friends who recently moved out. One of them was like a brother to him and cut him out of his life almost completely once he got into a very unhealthy relationship with a girl. He had not lived there for quite some time but moved back in for 2 days around New Years making my ex SO happy to have his friend back. After he abruptly left I noticed my ex becoming very lonely/depressed he even told me he was lonely and missed them so much. He sleeps a TON, he cant even get to work on time lately because he over sleeps. He has no motivation to go to the gym ect, lots of insecurities. He and I had a great relationship we never fought and had a ton of fun together although I know he misses his old “bro” life. Within the past week he was saying he loved me and talking about moving here, he had a job opportunity here. I was packed up to go to his family’s place in the Adirondacks, he had talked about bringing his headphones and everything 2 days before. I got a random text 1 night later that he had a nightmare which does happen, he has anxiety and gets in his head. He said he cried for 5 hours and had a mental breakdown. He realized that he didnt love me as much as I loved him. He said his feelings changed for me starting about 2 weeks ago but he tried to ignore it. Exactly 2 weeks ago we came home and all of his roommates stuff was gone, he had moved everything out. He told me he loved me the day before and then after this nightmare decided I’m not the one anymore. We knew eachother’s family’s and everything. within the past 2 weeks he was talking about marking my calendar for a memorial day party with his family ect, we also had plans for me to go on his family vacation to Florida in a month. He broke up with me 4 days ago and I have not heard anything since then. He drove 2.5 hours to break up with me in person and sobbed the whole time saying he was a broken and lost person but he seemed adament about ending things. He said he didn’t see it moving forward. He kept saying what is wrong with me? I prayed for you and I wont find anyone better then you, why dont I want it? I am so messed up. He lost his best friends at the same time, his job isn’t going well, he has gained some weight, he is living alone for the first time ever, having anxiety about turning 30, looking at a new job in a new city, leaving his family and selling his house to move here. Everything hit all at once and I think he may have balled it all together and convinced himself he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore. He said his head tells him that this is exactly what he wants/needs but his heart just isn’t in it anymore. He gave me back my things and then drove 2.5 hours back home. He changed his relationship/picture on facebook the next day. How can I get him back?
sheila

December 15, 2018 at 10:29 am

Hey…my ex boyfriend broke up with me 4months ago and told me that he had lost all his feelings towards me he also said that I was no longer attractive to him and that I should just move on.
.after one week he came back again and told me that he really loves me and wants me but he doesn’t want to hurt me and he needs to be alone…I choose to stay away since he wanted to be alone..yesterday he texted me and told me that what we had can’t work and he’s sorry for hurting me..I still love him and want him I don’t know what to do please help me
hila

December 10, 2018 at 5:21 pm

me and my ex dated from september in a long distance relationship but everything was so serious he came to my country visit my parents tried to impressed them and even asked me to move with him
and 2 weeks ago was my birthday showed me to his parents celebrate my birthday bouth the best gift and suddenly said i think im dont love you like the first days ( and i know he have a lot work problems and he tried to hide them from me )

Chris Seiter

December 10, 2018 at 11:20 pm

Hi Hila! Seems odd that he would just pull out and away from the relationship suddenly. I wonder if the stress of work is clouding his judgement.

Stacy

December 3, 2018 at 9:39 am

Hi Chris,I just broke up with my ex recently and I’m thinking of applying the NC rule. Is it okay if I keep updating my social media to let him see that I’m okay without him so that he will miss me while doing the NC rule?

Chris Seiter

December 3, 2018 at 9:30 pm

Hi Stacy! Yes, that is the ideal way of rolling out NC as that can slowly build interest and re-attraction. Do you have my 485 page eBook, “Pro”? If not, go take a look at it as it will help you immensely!

Katt

November 21, 2018 at 9:41 pm

Me and my boyfriend were together for 9 years we have a two year old son he relocated from our homestate to move to Florida me and our son are still located in our homestate we had plans on us moving down with him and being a family things changed in April we constantly got into it and he stated he didn’t want to be with me anymore and some other hurtful things we’ve been apart for about 8 months he some days it seems as if he hates me and someday he will talk with me when he FaceTimes our son he has a lot of hot and cold days we fight a lot since I won’t allow our son to go down to Florida with him as a first time mother I’m not comfortable with sending him out there since he’s so young my hope is that we can work things out but it’s hard when he won’t talk about the relationship not sure what I should do
Kenna

November 21, 2018 at 1:50 pm

So my ex left out of nowhere. He told me that the last month was a lie even though he constantly told me he loved me and everything. We fought a lot after because I was emotional and he was suddenly with a new girl (with school I have to see him all the time.) He kept telling me he didn’t leave for another girl but I didn’t believe him. He fought some more and he said the most hurtful things. Now this is where I really hated my emotions. Cause I wanted to be angry and hate him but ultimately I don’t think I can, I’m just hurt. So I did no contact for a month and he has his new girlfriend. I don’t think it’s a rebound since he claims he was over us before he left. Last night we talked and it was so weird. I expected him to lash out and hurt me again but instead he was super cordial. It was like talking to a logical robot. He made it very clear that I’m amazing and attractive and that my personality is great. But if that’s true how’d he “fall out of love?” I won’t say that I’m the easiest girlfriend ever, but he knew that from the very beginning. We met and it was instant connection. We joked around for a while last night and he got slightly less robotic sounding. He talked about missing kissing (his new girlfriend is very innocent) and doing things and that led to more joking. Then we ended it cause it was super late. He had made it clear he doesn’t see us getting back together and even though he originally wanted to be friends he didn’t wanna put time into a friendship. I don’t think I could handle just friendship anyway. Later that night I was thinking and then wondering if he was just pitying me. I know I should move on but I’m stuck on him. First guy I’ve ever truly unconditionally loved. I just don’t know where to go from here.

« Previous 1 2 3 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

81 thoughts on “My Ex Lost Feelings For Me”