Today I’m going to take you through 20 signs that your ex misses you.
As always, these signs are based on real-life examples of our success stories.
So without further ado, let’s get into the signs:
- Pay attention to the way your ex communicates with you
- Your ex calls you out of the blue
- Finding continual excuses to text you (sometimes for ridiculous reasons)
- Drunk texting or calling you
- They actually tell you they miss you
- Nostalgic conversations about the past
- Future pacing
- How quickly the respond to your texts or phone calls
- Refusing to give you your things back
- Posting really obvious things about the breakup on social media
- Posting out of character selfies
- Overcorrecting adrenaline junkie
- Using a spy
- Accidentally running into you
- They know things about you that you haven’t told them yet
- Investigating your love life
- Becoming incredibly jealous
- Over-complimenting you
- Trying to convince you that they’ve changed
- Angry outbursts when things don’t go their way
Sign #1: Pay Attention to The Way Your Ex Communicates with You
There are a couple of things you should really pay attention to and these are taken from my best-selling Texting Bible, where I deep dive into the art of texting an ex.
The first good sign to look for is if your ex is initiating contact because it means they’re interested in talking to you.
However, more importantly, you need to look at how many words they use in their text messages. We all know there’s a massive difference between lackluster one-word text messages and proper 15-word text messages.
I also want you to pay attention to the types of conversations that you’re having over text. Generally speaking, an ex who misses you isn’t gonna be texting you and then just simply bowing out of the conversation. They’re gonna be trying their best to engage you in a deep philosophical conversation or a conversation about your life where they act genuinely interested in listening to you.
Sign #2: Your Ex Calls You Out of The Blue
This one is amusing because most exes won’t admit why they called you – because they miss you.
Instead, they’ll act like it’s a random butt dial and they’re not trying to talk to you (hint: it’s definitely NOT a butt dial), or they’ll give you some non-reason like, “oh nothing, just curious what you’re up to.” If you’re out of no contact, you should definitely pick up these random calls and try to confront your ex.
Sign #3: Finding Continual Excuses to Text You (Sometimes for Ridiculous Reasons)
If you and your ex are texting, and they’re usually the ones initiating, they’ll try their best to mask their texts with some ridiculous reasons.
They can’t just admit they want to talk to you because they miss you, so they’ll say something like they need your help naming their new puppy.
I know that sounds really far-fetched, but it actually happened to someone in our private Facebook support group.
It just sounds like a desperate excuse to talk to your ex, so keep an eye out for those ridiculous reasons.
Sign #4: Drunk Texting or Calling You
Getting drunk does quite many things to people, but one of my best observations about drunk people is that they rarely lie; they usually feel uninhibited and blurt out truths they wouldn’t want to say in public.
The alcohol actually brings down their barriers and filters so they will tell you exactly what they’re feeling, even if its difficult to say or hear.
So if you get a drunk text, call, or voicemail from your ex saying they miss or love you, it’s a good sign!
Sign #5: They Actually Tell You That They Miss You
This is a rare occurrence, and they usually won’t just come out and say they miss you.
Typically they’ll subtly throw it between messages like “I really miss when we did that together,” saying they miss activities with you instead of referring to you directly.
This is usually a test to see how you respond and if you respond positively, they’ll start taking bigger risks.
Sign #6 Nostalgic Conversations About the Past
Nostalgia is basically this feeling we get in our guts when we start fondly looking back at past experiences.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizUsually, we romanticize the past and want to experience it again. Now the challenge with nostalgia is that it’s almost never the same if you try to recreate those moments.
Still, if your ex keeps referring to things you did together in the past, that’s a good sign they miss you.
Sign #7 Future Pacing
I coined the concept of future pacing to describe the phenomenon when your ex shows excitement about making plans with you in the future without committing to a specific timeline.
They’re not sure enough on the “when” part of getting back together, so they don’t want to give you a date, but they’re still thinking about things you’ll do together in the future.
Sign Number #8: How Quickly They Respond to Your Texts or Phone Calls
This isn’t rocket science – the faster your ex responds, the more hooked they are onto the conversation and the more they want to talk to you!
Getting responses within a few minutes is the ideal situation, but if your ex spaces their responses beyond a day, you may have reason to worry, so keep an eye out for their response times.
Sign #9: Refusing to Give You Your Things Back
If you were in a relationship, there’s a high chance you both left stuff at each other’s place.
So what happens when you want something back?
An ex who misses you will attach feelings to your leftover items, and they’ll be very hesitant to give them back because it’s almost like losing a part of you all over again. They could also be a jerk but usually refusing to give your things back means your ex misses you.
Sign #10: Posting Really Obvious Things on Social Media About the Breakup
What we’re looking for here specifically are the ridiculous posts that you typically roll your eyes at.
Your ex might post a poem about how they’re moving on or a song about breakups and how bad it is or how much better off they are.
Generally speaking, things like that show you insight into what’s internally going on with them. They’re struggling with the breakup and potentially may be grappling with the fact that they’re regretting their decision to leave you.
Sign #11: Posting A Bunch of Out of Character Selfies
Selfies are everywhere these days, but what you’re looking for is any uncharacteristic selfie or picture posting from your ex.
Let’s say they were a once-a-week or even once-a-day social media poster, but suddenly they start putting up selfies every day.
That’s usually a sign that they’re trying to get your attention because they miss you. They might be trying to portray the image that they won the breakup because they look so happy and good in their new pictures, but it is actually just a manifestation of how much they’re still thinking about you.
Sign #12: Overcorrecting Adrenaline Junkie
This is one of my favorite ones because it’s really easy for us to understand what’s going on, but your ex might honestly have no clue while they’re doing it.
Usually, people tend to overcorrect after breakups, especially if they initiated the breakup.
So if your ex broke up with you, they were probably becoming very stable in the relationship and missing the adventurous, mysterious, adrenaline-pumping side of themselves.
So now they will try to overcorrect after a breakup and go crazy posting about all kinds of crazy things they’re doing like going to raves, scuba diving, roller coaster parks, etc.
Sign #13: Using A Spy
This is when your ex sends over a friend to spy on you and relay information back to them.
They’ll usually use a mutual friend who was cool with both of you before the breakup but is definitely on their side now. I have actually been a victim of the spy too.
It was my first breakup in college where my ex-girlfriend sent her best friend to talk to me on the phone.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizI was also friends with this spy, so I vented to her about my feelings surrounding the breakup. Next thing you know, my ex knows every single thing I told her best friend. So if you notice your ex’s friends suddenly reaching out to you for support after a breakup, it’s a good chance that they’re not doing it out of the kindness of their heart.
They’re doing it because your ex misses you and wants updates on you.
Sign #14: “Accidentally” Running into You
There’s not much more of an obvious sign that your ex misses you than suddenly running into you outside of your work or when you’re going shopping or just being around places that you frequent. Now there’s a difference between an ex who is stalking you and an ex who’s just interested in you.
Generally speaking, if this is happening time and time again, that’s not good because it means your ex is over-attached.
But if it happens every once in a while and your ex manages to make it seem spontaneous, it’s a good sign they’re struggling with the breakup and want to see you.
Sign #15: Your Ex Knows Things About You That You Haven’t Told Them About Yet
This one kind of almost goes hand in hand with the spy sign.
Usually, when you are going through a breakup and blab to friends about it, the word will get back to your ex.
So when you eventually talk to your ex, they might accidentally blurt out something they’re not supposed to know, and that’s a good sign that they’ve been keeping tabs on you because they miss you.
Sign #16 Investigating Your Love Life
Now this sign can go from investigating to interrogating real quick.
It usually starts off with your ex asking seemingly harmless questions about your recent social media posts like, “oh, I see you went to that new restaurant; how was it?”
Here they’re trying to probe you for more information, but they might get more direct if you don’t give them what they want.
Sometimes they’ll just ask you point-blank if you’re seeing someone new.
Sign #17: Becoming Incredibly Jealous
This one almost goes hand in hand with investigating your love life because usually, that’s the only reason people tend to get jealous.
We tend to get jealous when we think our partners find a member of the opposite sex attractive.
Ultimately the biggest culprit behind this is social media. Any picture with someone of the opposite sex is enough to make your ex feel jealous and insecure.
This kind of jealousy usually means that they still value you very highly and potentially miss being the one in your pictures like they used to be!
Sign #18: Over-Complimenting You
So when I was 15 or 16 years old, I had no idea how to talk to girls, and my whole life revolved around baseball.
I had a crush on this girl, and whenever we hung out, I’d get flustered and end up giving her endless compliments because I didn’t know what else to do.
Imagine one of those situations where your ex keeps stumbling and giving you random compliments because they still miss you and have no idea how to act around you.
Sometimes those compliments probably won’t be great – like complimenting you for losing weight – but either way, it shows their interest.
Sign #19: Trying to Convince You That They’ve Changed
This is a rarer one, but it goes like this: your ex tries to get back in touch with you after a breakup because they miss you, but of course, you’re not going to let them back in that easy.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizThis is when they try to convince you that they’ve turned over a new leaf and things will be different now.
Usually, though, any changes that happen after breakups are temporary. Your ex might clean up their act for a while, but then they’ll regress into their old habits after settling down with you.
So don’t necessarily take them at face value here, but it’s still a sign that they miss you!
Sign #20: Angry Outbursts When Things Don’t Go Their Way
When it comes to getting an ex back, success is not linear.
A lot of people think it is – you just do no contact and then incrementally build value over text, calls, meetups, and romantic dates until your ex asks for you back. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but that’s just not how it works.
You’ll probably fail no contact a bunch of times.
You’ll probably find yourself struggling to get a text back or get your ex to return your calls.
You’ll probably experience a LOT of awkwardness when you meet your ex after a while.
Sometimes you have to start over, and that is OKAY.
If your ex can’t grasp this concept, and they’re expecting to get you back immediately, they’ll probably get really angry if things don’t immediately go their way. They miss you so much and are not expecting you to have them jump through hoops so that upsets them.
Cookie
July 14, 2021 at 9:23 pm
I have a really stubborn ex-boyfriend that every single time he would just stop talking to me when he doesn’t get his way. But as soon as I text her and try to make it work he always seem to respond and act as though he’s been missing me. This time he walk away and I reach out to him but probably not like I should have and I got no response. I saw that he was going into my messages everyday so I deleted him off my Social media. I miss him so much and I don’t know how to reach out to him and a way to get a response this time. I thought I would just wait until he responds but I am not sure he would let his ego message me first. What should I do. It has always worked for me in the pass but not so sure this time cause I deleted him. He is a spoiled, miserable, and doesn’t like to talk about anything so I can’t read him mine. What can I say to him just to see if he is still wants to be together.
Yourgirl
August 24, 2020 at 3:12 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago due to trust issues and he was angry at the time of breakup. he even lashed out nd even made up that he has a girlfriend to hurt me. i tried to explain him the situation that he misunderstood ms but he didn’t even listen. he was too angry to listen. then I started no contact rule. he contacted me on 28th day of no contact nd fir 3 times in the whole no contact nd was looking t calmer than before. but I didn’t reply. after 45 days I completed my no contact nd he reached out to me again yesterday asking how I was and if my mind is calmer or not. then he asked me do I miss him or not. why he suddenly asked me this if he really has a girlfriend though I hve not seen his girlfriend nor I see any girl on his social media? do he wants to get bck together as he even asked about my dating life as well.what are his intentions.
P.s.i have completed 45 days of no contact rule.already.nd it was successful
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 6, 2020 at 10:14 am
Hey, I cant tell you what his intentions are but it shows that he is open to talking to you. Make sure that your conversations stick to the guidelines within ERP. Read articles about the types of conversations you should be having, this should not be about your break up feelings or emotions with your ex so soon!
Aries
July 13, 2019 at 3:47 am
Hi, I and my ex in relationships about 6 years. In this long term relationship we have been broke up 3 times because of the behaviour problems and back again. We are honest and loyal to each other. But we couldn’t balance our relationship with each other’s own goals. So he decided to broke up with me but I know he feels so sad but now I’m doing NC rules about 2 weeks. Feel so crazy thinking about him. I wondering did he thinking of me, did he miss me, did he forget me and go new relationship. I’m afraid of that. The last day after we broke up, we did meet up. He did said “don’t worry let’s we focus in our own careers and goals, let’s see if we still have feelings on each other, we will meet up one day.” And also I know he did love me so much but why suddenly he being like this, I’m confused. Is that I being too controlled him when we in relationship before, or give him too much love, care?. I’m not sure. I can’t falling in love to another person, because I can’t forget the memories with my ex. I feel like we been in fairy tale world before. It was so sweet and romantic type of relationship. But 2 weeks ago before I starts CN rule, he did call me and text me but like pretend like 3rd person. But he too make me jealous that he has new person in his life now and those things make me hurt. I don’t know why he say like that. That’s why I decide to do CN until now I’m following CN. Kindly advice tq
Terry
June 26, 2019 at 9:15 pm
Hello, my name is Terry, I broke up with my ex 2 yrs ago, been trying to move on but he keeps texting my sister asking how her baby is and all that about life back home, like I told him so many times not to stop and keep off to my family since its over between us but he won’t, HR did few days ago, honestly that is not coz when o think am moving on I have to hear his name again, like why is doing all that?
Candy
November 22, 2018 at 11:49 pm
Hey Chris… so lastnight my sis bf ran into my ex out with the rebound..and they all went back to my exs house. My sis bf told him how he went about our breakup was messed up and blah blah, and then my ex asked whether or not my family was mad at him or hated him.. apparantly also the rebound showed tons of jealousy and insecurity and clingyness by constantly trying to get in between the two of them while they were talking..my sis bf said you could see my ex was getting pissed off. He totally denied that they are dating and said they are just friends but seemed too comfortable at his house and she was clearly spending the night there.. anyway..why does he care how my family feels? Why should it matter to him? I dont want to read a lot into it..so wondering your take on it.. happy Thanksgiving
Anonymous
April 2, 2018 at 3:56 pm
Hi, my ex and I dated for 4 months, we saw each other almost every day and got along so well. We had the most amazing time over the summer. I then had to move back to the city for University, (It would be a 3.5 hour drive away) I wanted him to make a decision and commit to a relationship. Because of my own insecurities I kept pushing him for an answer he eventually decided he couldn’t do distance. (according to his best friend he told him it was mutual, it kind of was but not really considering he ended it over text on valentines day and refused to call me because apparently “it was really hard for him” hahah). I went straight into no contact he messaged me a few days later and continued to snapchat me every now and then for 3 weeks (especially when drunk). I eventually messaged him he’s always very happy to talk and replies straight away. I usually end the conversation because it hurts me too much to act like nothing has changed. I am very confused about how he feels. At week 4-5 we talked and he wanted to see me asking if I was at home, I wasn’t. Week 6 he messaged me drunk asking if I blocked him on facebook (I unfriended him because it was stopping me from moving on. He would like all my posts and even hearted one instead of just liking it which is not normal for him. I also unfriended him on snapchat so I couldn’t stalk him and see where he is. Also so he can’t snapchat me and start the hurting and confusion all over again.) He also said that he wanted to come to the city to see me, he then called me but I was asleep. I wanted to do no contact properly so didn’t reply… I eventually caved and said I was coming home that night which i was… but he had work in another town. We tried to arrange to see each other later in that week but our timing was wrong again. I’m not sure how he feels or if I could get him back, if I can’t I just want to move on already, I feel horrible and its really affecting me. Should I do no contact and message him at the end of it and see if we can catch up? I’m just confused because he officially ended the relationship but won’t leave me alone to move on, does he still have feelings, how can I find out?
Please help, I’m at a loss and really hurting, I fell in love with him very quickly which isn’t like me at all. I want to move on so I can be my normal happy, confident self. But he is confusing me so much as I read too much into everything.
Thank you
Chris Seiter
April 4, 2018 at 12:36 am
I actually think you have the right idea by being your normal, confident and happy self. I get that this process is tough to go through. I’ve been helping people for half a decade and my heart still hurts for people. Anyways, I think you definitely should do a no contact rule.
Ice
March 2, 2018 at 1:56 pm
I had a long term and long distance relationship with my ex for almost two years. It also took me more than two years to move on from him (or I thought I did). Until few days ago that he drunk texted me and for some reason, I realized I still miss him. For that two years, I always initiated contact and just last Dec 2017, I decided I really have to move on and welcome other people in my life. This Feb 2018, he suddenly drunk text me with nonsense things and replied to me the following day that I have to move on after I messaged him how unfair it is. Unfair in the sense that, I was already thinking I had moved on (successfully not texting him for more than two months, starting to go out on dates, gaining self confidence again, etc) and then he sent me a drunk text that confused me again about how I truly feel. It kind of made me angry too because with just one text, I doubted myself again. It made me hope again that we can get back together again.
I am perplexed on how to move forward from this.
Is it right that I blocked him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 5, 2018 at 5:39 pm
Hi Ice,
Yup, for now but later on, it would be better to unblock him..so, that if he messages again, that’s your chance of ignoring it to keep fully moving on..
Penelope
February 15, 2018 at 11:55 pm
My ex and i broke up after 3 years (he broke up with me). when we broke up I did NC for a month i haven’t heard from him. Shortly after, he contacted me and we have been talking ever since. He always initiates contact. we have been talking for 2 weeks now but he hasn’t asked about how i am nor has he said anything about the relationship. its just random conversations throughout the day. What do i do from here? I want him back but i dont know if hes just stringing me along or is he just stalling because he may have someone else.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 19, 2018 at 11:11 am
Hi Penelope,
How much are you improving yourself and being active in posting during nc and currently? And are you using topics of his interests?
Saniya Tanveer
February 5, 2018 at 5:39 am
I was friend with a guy for mor then 3 years
8 months before we got into a relationship and now we brokeup because he thinks he has no strong feelings for me and he cant love me the way I am expecting. We had a fight we both apologised each other and I haven’t contacted him since a week and I don’t even find any signs of him missing me
I really want him back what do I do
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2018 at 3:14 pm
Hi Saniya,
The nc rule is for you to focus in improving yourself and in healing, not for him to initiate during it because you will have to ignore that and you can initiate after nc
ShayRonn Madl
February 3, 2018 at 12:18 pm
Ok so my ex just started pulling away about a year ago. And blames me for it all, I went to work come home walked my son to daycare and walked to wwork. He worked then too. He’s normally a roofer and so it become stressful, then he always started having around 10 people give or take quite a few anyway and having cookout’s every day we stopped talking every time I try to talk about anything he starts screaming at me and normally telling me I’m stupid and wrong. But here’s my problem. I, can’t
seem to let go. I still love him with all my heart and I know he doesn’t love me the same and I know all of this how can I make myself do the no contact. I have only went one day without out texting him other then 3 weeks I was in jail (turned myself in) but, my kids and him are my world how can I make myself do it? Please help me out here. Cuz I don’t think I can do a no contact order.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2018 at 12:52 pm
Hi Shayronn,
Would you rather lose him or lose your kids when you go to jail?
Princess
January 17, 2018 at 2:32 pm
My boyfriend and i was almost 7 months in a relationship. We broke up because he told me my attitude is too much.. too much of jealousy and fights. So one day he said he needs space after the fight and told me that he has become emotionless. So i gave it to him. After 2days, i text gnatted him because of the space that he needs. After that, he told me that we should break up coz he doesnt love me anymore. And given that his mom came home after 12years of not going home. I begged for a day and asked him if his decision was final and his answer was “i think so as far as i know” and asked again if it will not change, he answered “nope, not that i know of”.. i dont know what to do..he is still spending his time eith his mom because his mom will be with him for only 3weeks. I dont know if i should move on or not because maybe he just wants to spend time with his mom..and his things are still in my house and so my things in his house. Please tell me what to do. Im in my 3rd day of No Contact.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 18, 2018 at 8:30 am
Hi Princess,
why not try the no contact rule first?
Cherry
November 2, 2017 at 11:55 pm
hi, my ex and i together for 2 years. now, i am in the middle of NC. 7days but i broke it 🙁 mu ex contact me every day to ask me a favor or help. then yesterday he said it is ok if i don’t want to talk to him again, it is your choice. if it is better for you then ok i will leave you alone. i freaked out and reply his text. what does he mean by saying that? i am affraid that he will forget me because he thinks i will forget him also. he said that he hopes everything remains the same except our status. what is that supposed to mean? does he try to friendzone me or something ? what should i do know? Restart NC or just continue? i miss him so much. oh he also said that he is still confused about his feeling and move on is not the right choice for him now. it is all confusing for me. please help.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 4, 2017 at 12:48 am
Hi Cherry,
restart nc and check this one:
Will My Ex Forget Me If I Do No Contact
Sasha
October 1, 2017 at 3:21 pm
Oh my…this was an eye opener. I thought I was going mad! It’s been several months since we split,and at the time I thought it was the right decision. (Mutual) I then found out he was cheating afew months before,which just reinforced my decision. After fifteen years together,the child, dog and house,it seems we both ran out of steam. I went NC immediately for self preservation, sheer anxiety that he replaced me and moved in with her. Now here’s the thing…he is constantly asking about me to friends,even now,he now picks our teenage daughter up for school most days ( never bothered before), went ballistic when he found out I was going out with another man,( a friend nothing more) continued to tell me to hurry up and get a job so I could pay for the car, phone, my half of the mortgage…to only do a u-turn when I handed the car back…( got a job and brought my own),has been seen parked down the street where we live,I’ve seen his car parked up near where I work,which is slightly unnerving…….,I miss him,but not sure why? Is his behaviour normal,am I going mad? Or am I paranoid?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 2, 2017 at 7:35 pm
Hi Sasha,
It does look like he is missing you.m but if you miss him and you want to get back with him, ask yourself first if he’s the right guy to be with, aside from being the father of your child
Sammi
August 28, 2017 at 12:28 pm
Hi, Help!
I was In a long term relationship for 5 years, we split due to stress put on to our relationship as my family did not like him (we had split many times, I thought we would get back together). We still talked, and we’re meant to meet to say bye and clear the air, but then I found out my ex had started seeing someone else after a few weeks! So I broke all contact and blocked him on all social media.
I have been in other relationships, but I always thought of my ex. I started to see him around (he works by my place of work) and he would always stare, not say anything. I was always the more stubborn one, and my friends had all said if I had stopped and said hello, he would have spoken to me. I kept seeing him for ages, but never had the courage to say hi. I then got offered a job in a new town, and was making some purchases and had told his sister about my new job. At that point, I knew he single. Anyway, after being in my job for a few months, I got offered a promotion back at my original work place (my jobs have all been with the same company). I then didn’t see my ex. It had been 6 years of no contact and my friend found out he was on a social media dating site. I decided to contact him via social media to see how he was doing (I genuinely thought it would be nice to have a catch up, see what he had been doing). He got back to me a while later and we arranged to meet for a drink (in the meantime, I had found out he had a new girlfriend). It was lovely to catch up, it was like 2 old friends seeing each other, he spoke about his girlfriend etc although I did get the feeling he was exaggerating how happy they were. We both joked that we hadn’t had kids yet and he said he wanted his girlfriend to be settled in her new career before they had any (she is 6 years younger than both of us) we left it on a good note, he even asked for a hug at the end! I left happy to have cleared the air and really happy that he was doing well.
I then thought I had got my closure years later and was happy. I then didn’t come across him again (he had told me, he was working in a different town now, although for the same company). I was happy as I thought I wouldn’t see him and could finally move on!
All of a sudden, 6 weeks ago I walked past his place of work and there he was working! We both saw each other, but I thought, here we go again! I have to walk past his work to get to mine, I try and avoid his work as much as a I can! I saw him a few times at work and thought he must be back. The. Something weird happened, he walked past my work place as I was getting ready to leave and saw me and I saw him but I was still inside. I brushed it aside and left work with a friend. We then noticed he had done a loop and came back the same way as me and I saw him to my right as I glanced up!! Again, it was too far to acknowledge him so we carried on and I got dragged into a shop. I then caught sight of him walk past the shop… and then walk back up again!! I got the impression he wants to speak to me.
I was then met after work by 2 friends, as we walked to the car park.. I looked at the glass doors in front of me and noticed his reflection – he was walking right behind me!! I carried on my journey and went to my floor.
I’m confused, are these all signs or am I taking this out of context?! I always seem to see him when he’s single, it’s as if he makes himself visible to me – but I do know he is not single at the moment as he is still with the same girlfriend and they have been together 2 years now.
Is he trying to talk to me?! My gut is telling me yes! He has now been playing on my mind again.. I wonder if I ever play on his.. when we met up, he was very interested in my love life and looked a bit sad when I said I would prefer someone slightly older.
What should I do? Should I strike up a conversation if I see him? Or am I being silly?! Is this a sign – I get the feeling it is! I never seemed to act on it and when I did message him to meet – it was too late as he was it’s someone
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 28, 2017 at 7:26 pm
Hi Sammi,
if you see him just approach him and say hi.. you wouldn’t know if you keep guessing.
Oh, So I'M Nancy
July 19, 2017 at 7:59 pm
In a very confusing situation. The object of my affection was never my boyfriend, but we did have an intense two week period where we were dating/seeing each other. I had been crushing on him pretty hard for a month before that. I got the courage to ask him if he wanted to hang out and made it very apparent that I was interested, and he seemed very interested as well. The two weeks that we’d been spending time together, things were very affectionate and intimate and sweet (he told me on numerous occasions that he found me cute/pretty/beautiful). At the end of the second week, he met up with me at a café and said that he does really like me, but that he needed to end it because he was hung up on this girl that he’s been “in love with” (limerent object, they’ve never actually been together, he’s basically at an obsessed level of infatuation) for a couple years. He said the voice in the back of his head kept saying, “hey, what about the other girl?” even though he knows they will never be together. He had apparently been talking to a good friend of his and his sister a lot about this over the two weeks we were seeing other because he didn’t know what to do because he really liked me, but just couldn’t let go. For the first week after this conversation, we stayed in contact, but I just could not stop pining after him because it didn’t end because I’d done anything wrong. It didn’t even end because he didn’t like me. I asked if he would be willing to meet up with me again exactly one week after that conversation because I was still just so very heartbroken and confused. I needed answers. In this conversation, I wound up having it spelled out for me several times that we wouldn’t try again, “we’d wind up back here again, only worse, and you don’t deserve that kind of pain.” He comforted and hugged me throughout this conversation, and towards the end, there was a period of time where I was just looking at him silently. He willingly made eye contact and looked away a few times after this, but ultimately just kept saying, “I’m sorry.” I gave the signal that I guess we were done and we both walked back to our cars, but before we parted ways it was, “one more hug?” (His request.) When I got home, I sent him a message thanking him for meeting up with me again and said that I’d gotten the closure I’d needed to started moving on but that I didn’t think we’d need to break contact. I made a joke. He responded, albeit it was a short-ish response and suddenly, I backed off even though I didn’t want to. Suddenly I was worried that if I kept talking to him without him initiating, he’d have reason to be upset with me. It’s been five days, and while neither of us have said anything (he’s the kind of guy that might be assuming that maybe I don’t want him talking to me right now), he’s like a facebook status and checks up on my snapchat stories when he’s not busy. I desperately want to talk to him because he was always so much fun to talk to and I always enjoyed talking to him, and I’m suffering pretty badly. I’ve withdrawn a fair bit from, well, everyone, although I keep trying to “do me.” It’s been five days since I last said anything to him, and all I’ve done is wonder if he misses me or regrets it… or whether or not he’s finally moved on… I keep wishing I hadn’t caught feelings, because this hurts so bad. I keep wishing I had a chance, because I never really got one. I don’t know what to do. It is taking every fiber of my being to not contact him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 23, 2017 at 6:12 pm
Hi Nancy,
Check this one:
EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?
Sara
June 16, 2017 at 10:21 am
Hello..
I broke up 1 week ago with 2 year relationship boy friend. He didn’t break me up officially. But when i know he had another girl friend. I messed up and angry with him . I broke him first. Then, I can’t. I cried and begged him not to leave me. He blocked me everywhere. Then , I started to decide to do NC rule. At that night, he called me via ph and asked me to live better without him. If ok one day, he will come back or I can search new one. Then, he blocked me again. and I also blocked him.Now, 5 days over, I miss him badly. Will he also miss me? What should I continue to do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 17, 2017 at 7:55 pm
Im sorry, did you mean he’s cheating on you? restart the no contact rule and stick to at least 30 days.. improve yourself and be active in posting
Dori
May 11, 2017 at 12:12 pm
Hi, it’s been a month that I broke up with bf of nearly 2 years. Currently I’m doing NC. We were still friends on fb. He kept Travelling & posting a lot of photos. He seldomly liked my posts. Comment under my comments on our mutual friends photo. He is not contacting me directly but sometimes send texts through our group chats with common friends. Does it mean he miss me or want me back? I’m making myself strong, not to contact or reply him even in group chats.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 11, 2017 at 8:15 pm
yeah, it can mean he misses you.
T
March 22, 2017 at 9:33 pm
How should I handle it if his first time reaching out is in my last week of NC and he’s asking if I’d like some of my stuff back? I guess I do, but the items aren’t that important. Would it be best to respond after NC and arrange to trade?
T
March 25, 2017 at 6:32 pm
I mean blew off as in we had plans to meet up and trade and then at the last minute he said something came up and he could just drop my thing off (I assume he means when I’m not there).
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 26, 2017 at 2:12 pm
hmmm.. I think just do a mini nc of two weeks
T
March 25, 2017 at 6:31 pm
I did that and then he blew me off at the last minute. Should I restart a new NC?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 25, 2017 at 4:23 pm
Hi T,
yes, respond and trade after nc..
Joan
March 15, 2017 at 2:21 pm
My ex and I have been broken up for years now. We talk regularly. Like on daily bases. I want him back, but he says he has a girlfriend. But sometimes I feel he’s lying. Once I started a no contact, suddenly. His best friends starts chatting me up for no reason. Then I had to call him. I don’t know how to handle this guy. He says he’d be fine if we are just friends, and then if I start talking to him like a friend he gets upset. For example, he says he never wants to hear me say “I miss him”. I ask him why and he says something like… “I dont know” but for me, I say I miss you to my friends, so am wondering why he’s so personal. Another thing he does, sometimes if we are chatting…. He gets carried away and then starts getting naughty … I mean really naughty… Like we Really dating, then the next morning, he’d be acting all cold. Am just tired of the games. I still love the dude. But am tired of him blowing up and down.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 16, 2017 at 3:09 pm
Hi Joan,
so what’s your decision now? Are you going to move on or try a full nc first?
Esmee
March 7, 2017 at 1:53 pm
We broke up 6 weeks ago and he wanted to be friends. I found this site, So i started no contact 3 weeks ago but bumped into him 3 days in and had a convo about how we cant be friends. He did the things you said, i kept up ignoring him for 3 days but he called 7 times in one night while i was asleep. Unheard of so i answered the next day. He just wanted to hear that we are done completely. I couldnt say that and he ended the convo that he likes his no expectations. So i said well have fun i need space ill talk to you in a month. That was 2 weeks ago. Then he sent a msg about how he is distracted, he doesnt know what my end game is but hes done waiting its been too long and he feels like i have all the power. So being dumb i messaged him back and now he says he doesnt think he could take me back anyway because what broke us up was the confusion i felt for my babies’ dad and thinking i should give my him a chance. So i just gave him all the power back, and now my fears of him moving on are back to being front and centre especially since he has a rebound.
So i know he misses me right now but how long do i have of hes ready to run away now. What do i do since he thinks my not contactinf him is some game.
Esmee
March 10, 2017 at 12:26 pm
Ive never been very active on social media and he removed me from all of them. The stuff i was active with was always private… he showed up at lunch after these messages and acted like i didnt even exist. I tried to be positive but just kept up normal convo with the group of girls. Now has dissapeared again. I feel like hes just too stubborn to be willing to admit anything or try again
It was a rough end because i was so confused.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 13, 2017 at 2:08 pm
you have to restart the count and to start being active and to make your posts public because that’s your indirect way of showing you’re “moving on”
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 10, 2017 at 10:34 am
Hi Esmee
dont tell him that you’re doing the no contact rule and that you’re going to talk to him after a certain time..right now he just wants to friendzone you, so it’s better to restart the no contact period, stick to it and be very active in improving yourself and in posting in social media…