How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Were Clingy

794 thoughts on “Stage 5 Clinger – Getting A Boyfriend Back If You Were Too Clingy”

Co

March 14, 2016 at 5:05 pm

Hello chris,
I feel stupid for what i’ve done. I need your advice on what should I do.
I messed up with him by being clingy. I’m gay btw.

I tried to keep my story as short as possible…

I met him online, he’s 2 years younger than me. We had a chat for almost 2 months. We’re not in the same city. But we met once, in the airport when he was in transit.

Everything was fine, he definitely knows i like him. And this feeling keeps growing. We kept having a chat, well not the intense one, but it was keep going on. I said i miss him, he said he was also feeling the same. Whoever wake up earlier, send ‘good morning’ message. It is really sweet moments. I never felt like that before. Tbh, i’m single this 20ish years.. So i guess i lost my cool when i met him.

Until one day, he stopped sending me msg. I’m confused. Idk why. But at that time, I KNOW i should have been patient and just wait. But my brain was losing to my heart. This is when everything starts going wrong. I was being impatient, I asked why, r u angry or what?

He replied, he said he’s having a problem and he wanted to take care of them first.
I replied, oh, what problem? If u need anything, u can talk to me.
He replied, ok & thanks ya.

Until this point, everything was still okay. And I should really have let him alone with his space and not annoy him. It’s possible his problem is kinda private. And who am i that he barely know me, I’m not his someone yet, he has the right not to talk to me about it.

But i took the wrong action. My heart took control and it turns out to be nasty. I annoyed him, I still asked ‘r u ok?’ And again, I annoyed him again and again. Until he totally didn’t reply at all. i tried to call him. of course no answer.

At some point, I realize, WHAT THE HECK I’VE DONE?

I apologized with kinda long message and asking for a second chance. Then i stopped annoying him.

A week later, the craziest & most stupid thing i’ve done happened. And i wish i didn’t do that. really. why the hell i did that?

I flied to his city. i called him with no caller id. I said, i’m in your city. Can we meet up? he avoided me and said he wasn’t in the city. We talked for a while on the phone. He said it’s not that he didn’t want to meet up. He said he intended to not replying because one thing he doesn’t like. He doesn’t like being pushed. He sounded like he actually care, like “why didn’t u tell me u would come. I still read your msg from notifications. Taxis here are expensive. u r wasting money. now what will u do?” But idk, maybe i am biased.

That night, before boarding the plane, I send him another message. i said sorry for what i’ve done that he doesn’t like & thank you for everything, again, kinda long message. i guess it’s gonna be my last msg to him.

The next day, I found out that he blocked me recently in Line app. But not in Whatsapp. We’re not friends yet in fb.

I’m in NC now and it’s been a week. Actually what I’m planning to do now is trying to move on & back to everyday life. I know I can’t expect anything. I’m trying to keep being busy to forget him.. I take this as my experience & lesson.
But, this heart doesn’t want to give up yet, still like him, miss him and keep asking how to fix this?

What should I do? So I did being clingy and gnat and creepy too. Can you give advice to gay relationship too? Even we’re not in real relationship yet?

Co

March 17, 2016 at 6:07 pm

Thank you Amor,

Well, I’ll do things as planned then. Yep, actually i did laughing at myself. Why I was doing all that stuff. It’s like I’m not being the usual me.

Anyway, what do you think the best NC duration for my case? I think I did pretty bad. I’m trying to hold it as long as possible, and let the time answer that question. Who knows I can really move on from him and forget him someday. And I’m blocked too after all, indicating he still doesn’t want receive my message, right?

Thank you again..
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 19, 2016 at 1:32 am

You’re welcome! 🙂 I think you should go for 45 days.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 1:13 pm

Hi Co,

It’s normal that you still want him back. It’s just been a week. I think the most obvious solution is your solution too. Move on but to give you hope, it doesn’t mean you don’t have a chance in the long run. It may take time but one of the easiest ways to cope with that is to laugh about it because someday when you’ve gotten a new routine for yourself and moved on, you’ll laugh about what happened and I think he will too. The good thing today is that he will see through social media that you have moved on. Maybe even after some time, when you see meme or a quote relating to what happened, you can repost about it and make it a joke about what happened and then you can tag him and start to be friends again. Because the truth is, he may be expecting you to contact him still, so just prove him that it was just a burst of emotions. It was not you, it was a just a phase, through letting time do it’s thing.

Rue

February 19, 2016 at 3:38 am

I was a texting gnat. Sigh. (Yeah, this is my “Admitting you have a problem is the first step” confession). I never got angry that he didn’t reply right away. I knew he has work and a kid, but I would tend to pour out all my deepest emotions and thoughts on the poor guy in long texts (maybe 4 a day). I’m on day 16 of no contact – 2 weeks left. I’m journaling a lot. It helps. I’m reading a book, exercising, getting back in touch with old friends. I’m really trying hard to follow your advice. So far he’s contacted me via Snapchat 4 times (he had blocked my from his FB page). One time he had a very specific question. I answered it in 5 words only and have never spoken other than that. I’ve seen him in person twice (because of work). I’ve been cheerful and to the point like I would with other customers. I’m hoping this works. Was it OK to have answered him? If nothing else. Your site is helping me see that I love him, I want him, but I don’t NEED him. I’ll be OK one way or the other. You’ve also helped me start to clear this obsession with him out of my head. Still a long way to go there, but it’s much better and I feel less tormented. I’m reading every article that looks applicable to me that I can get my hands on. Thanks for being a helper.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2016 at 10:27 am

Hi Rue
nice to hear from you again..yes it’s ok, since it was just one time..

Need help

February 9, 2016 at 9:29 am

Hi….after reading the article… I realised why he broke up.thànk u for this insightful article.

he gave me a second chance but I screwed up. Now I m in 20 days of NC. No response from his side..please tell me hw to let him know that I hv changed myself.?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 10, 2016 at 12:24 pm

Use social media to your advantage, post your activities and achievements.

Beatrice

February 7, 2016 at 6:24 am

Hi,
I realized my ex boyfriend left me because I was clingy and needy and insecure about the relationship. He did not tell me those were the reasons, but I realized them after reading this page. We were constantly fighting, and he said he was tired with the fights and no longer have the patience for them.
He said we were not a good fit.
I realized we kept fighting because I’m very insecure.
I do want to improve myself and be more secure and confident. So I’m working on that now – any suggestions?
Also, I’m in the no contact period now. How do I show him or tell him that I’m changing without contacting him? I don’t know how he would know I’m more secure and confident after we have broken up….

Beatrice

February 8, 2016 at 12:21 pm

Hi Amor, We do not really have mutual friends. I just know some of his friends. And because we are not close, I am afraid reaching out to them will make me seem more needy and clingy. so i have refrained and kept it to a minimum. When I do speak to them, I make it very positive, and not so much about what I am active with. it has been 10 days of no contact.. and it is so difficult to keep up.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2016 at 5:09 pm

Do activities that has progress. Do the activities you’ve been putting off before. Well, social media posting is one of the ways but the other one is through mutual friends. DON’T tell your mutual friends to tell him about your progress. Just talk to your mutual friends about what you’ve been active about lately, but DON’T tell them why and then after that they will probably mention it to him when they meet.

Jessica

January 30, 2016 at 10:52 pm

Hi so I was just dumped for being clingy and when I found out I called him a ton which just helped him and his reasoning. I want him back more than anything but he said he will only think about getting back together in high school which is 6th months away and I feel like he likes another girl who was really supportive of me and him when we were dating and I feel like she would date him if he asked just to be nice and she is an amazing person so I feel like if they get together then he will never come back for me. What do i do? Help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 31, 2016 at 4:43 am

Hi Jessica,

Never is a big word for a highschooler. In your age, boys are not serious in relationships yet. It’s a different case with us because we mature earlier. So, take it easy. He’s not the only guy that will admire you. There are lots to come so, he should be the one making the effort for your beauty and affection.

Mina

January 19, 2016 at 12:11 pm

Hello Chris, Thanks for the insights. I have a question, If you were soo clingy to the point he just can’t stand you and doesn’t want to have that type of negativity in his life at all, do you apologize to him? Are you going to tell him that it wasn’t you back then and you’re different than he thinks? If not, how to show him that you’ve changed? Thanks a lot

Mina

January 22, 2016 at 3:57 pm

Hi, thank you for your response. So considering I’ve been a text gnat and he had no space at all with me, how often should i text him so that he doesn’t perceive me as clingy? How to space my texts? every 4-5 days it’s too much or too little?
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 23, 2016 at 3:12 pm

If you go into NC period, do it minimally when you start again. It depends, I think this post can help you more on how to gauge the days apart. Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 21, 2016 at 10:12 am

Hi Mina,

You need to show him that you’re not like that anymore. Because if you’re going to apologize right away, it just adds up to the clingyness. YOu need to give him space and avoid being clingy again once you start communicating.

Lorna

January 16, 2016 at 11:48 pm

Hello. I’d be grateful if you gave me some advice. I’ve made almost all possible mistakes of being too clingy since the first month of our relationship. We’ve been together for 7 months but he admitted he wasn’t happy most of the time. I was overly jealous, wanted to spend a lot of time with him, gave him ultimatum to choose me or his friends etc. I was also starting all the arguments and criticized him a lot. He broke up with me saying he just doesn’t feel about me the same way and wants to stay friends. I found this site shortly after our break up and I never begged for him back. I went straight into no contact for 30 days and followed your advice. I’ve put a lot of happy pictures with my friends on facebook, focused on myself. I started contacting him after that but although I was following the texting Bible and ex boyfriend recovery pro I wanted too much too soon. He always replies neutrally/positively but never texts me first. Recently he was showing no interest. How can I possibly reattract him? How can I show him that I changed? What to do from now on? Is there any chance? Thank you in advance for the response.

Lorna

January 18, 2016 at 11:42 am

We’ve been texting since Christmas, very little messages so not so much rapport built. He always seemed to be responsive so I managed to end every conversation first but still he didn’t really seem enthusiastic. He never texted me first. I’m running out of interesting topics already. I think i rushed because i started texting him very often and maybe he suspects something? Also what can it mean when 2 days after I started contacting him after 30 days of no contact he changed his facebook status to single?
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2016 at 8:37 pm

It’s hard to tell what it means, he may have thought about changing that long before you contacted him. if he’s responsive but not starting the conversation maybe you can still get the next steps after test texts
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 17, 2016 at 5:17 am

Hi Lorna

There is always a chance. How far are you with textng him? If he responds positively, stay in line with the subjects that he responds positively. And can it be that he responds neutrally because sometimes you wanted something too soon?

becky

January 12, 2016 at 7:08 pm

My boyfriend and I met online. Great connection and talks. We met and it was great. For our first date we were going to be alone together on Halloween. Well he called me and asked if I wouldn’t mind meeting his family. I freaked out. I was so nervous but I thought okay yea sure. I go everything is good. We hang out like 3 times after that. Thanksgiving comes so I ask him if he wants to go to mine. He says sure. We talk about dates and times. Thanksgiving day he tells me he feels like we just went too fast that he’s not ready that he knows this feels like a 360 on his part but he had to tell me. We argue because my family made all this extra food..why tell me the day of? He goes anyway though..
The next day is black Friday I know it’s busy and I decide to stop buy and see if he’s okay. He’s struggling so I decided to get him his favorite drink to cheer him up. He says thanks and that’s it…no hug no aww no nothing. I flip but later apologized because after all it was black Friday.
I text him questions to get to know him better. You text I text thing…he says a couple of days after he needs space…I texted him after a couple of hours and he texts back..he still needs space and told me he felt like an ass and that he doesn’t understand why he’s like this. He thought he’s depressed and telling me he doesn’t deserve happy right now…I stay though and I text him like once a day..it was still too much. I only texted him now though hi, how are you? Dont worry you got this, good night…he snapped at me telling me I need to move on because with the way he’s feeling things aren’t going well..I told him I’ll give you what you want them. Christmas comes..we both say merry Christmas, i say I still want things to work but I’ll give you your space. He never responds..
New years eve comes and i flip on him telling him you broke up with me during the holidays and he said he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship but I kept pushing and pressuring him.
I lost it. I called him (went to voicemail)almost sobbing saying I’m sorry you feel that way but I just wanted you to know that I was there for you that I cared and texted him even saying I’m sorry again that we can even be friends if that’s what you’re comfortable with…he wrote back at church for a new years service we’ll talk later….it’s been 12 days..

What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 16, 2016 at 11:33 am

HI Becky,

Why not use the time of no contact period to put yourself first. If you continue to contact him you will appear as a text gnat and make want to avoid you. COllect yourself first and assess how you want this relationship to go.

Christina

December 21, 2015 at 11:06 am

Dear Chris,
thank you so much for your article, I just wish I read it earlier.
Four month ago I went to another country in terms of an international project, I met a guy there, he is not from my country and he is 8 years older than me. Actually we spent all the time free from training together, we had so many deep conversations and even made each others presents to remember. I told myself not to expect anything, because we might never meet again. But actually when I came home, he started to talk to me everyday and sent me some handwritten letters (I didn`t expect it from him, as he is rom a Nordic country and not a person who would show the emotions so much, but he really started to share everything with me), even suggested going somewhere together and then we planned his visit to my country. But the more we talked, the more obsessive and clingy I got. I wanted to know everything about him and I showed how much I admired him. In his last letter he wrote that he was focused on his job all the time and now he is not sure what he should do with his life. I didn`t really pay attention to it, as we continued talking on regular basis. But then he suddenly disappeared, he stopped writing, I freaked out and started to ask what happened, his last reply was that he had a lot on his mind and he needed to figure out what he wanted from his life and he asked me to understand that. I said I did. We haven`t talked or 6 days already.
What should I do? I miss him so much. Maybe it sounds stupid that I want this long-distance relationship going, as it is extremely hard, but I really feel that I am ready to work hard on it and I really love this person.
S

December 21, 2015 at 7:57 am

hi, first of all I would like to thank you because I read your articles before and yeah I successfully got my ex boyfriend back last feb 2015 (who werent together for 2 months) SO REALLY. THANK YOU! I used most of your advice and he really did respond the way you said he would. so yeah really amazing. anyway now we’ve never been as happy as before but lately I notice him being to close to a girl he’s teammates with. The girl is really pretty and attractive and I feel threatened. Im not proud of this but I open his facebook account and I can see that he sometimes still talks to this girl he was kind of seeing during the 2 months we werent together. AND IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY. like he asks help from the girl to edit his paper last week but before the conversations are really random. but im thinking WHY CANT HE JUST LET GO OF THE GIRL. i dont know what to do anymore. I dont know if he’s being flirty or what but i’m always scared he would cheat on me. PLEASE HELP ME. WHAT DO I DO TO MAKE HIM WANT ME MORE that he wouldnt even need the attention of all those other girls. I know I sound pathetic but I think I really need help. Thanks! I really admire your effort and work
konfused

December 14, 2015 at 7:42 pm

I will admit that I got into the habit of msging him first (once we were official) but he initiated 90% of the plans, trips, etc. I feel like less than 2 months together (although it was regular to see each other often) should be enough to get a text msg after 5 days no contact…now i feel (and others tell me) he won’t ever contact me again. The only time I got jealous was when he looked up an incredibly skanky girl and I told him how i hated it in the past with exes and questioned if he was trustworthy. Thats when s*** hit the fan and he changed. Is there any hope? Even when he broke it off I held back tears and told him it was his loss, therefore showing value…yet nothing. Am growing increasingly more anxious.
Grace

December 5, 2015 at 8:54 pm

Hello,

My ex recently just broke up we me a week ago out of the blue. I am 20 years old and he is 27. We met at work and it was love at first sight. We started dating and he told me he was in love with me only after a few weeks. We became official August 15th, and 3 days later I moved across the country to do one semester abroad for school. He visited me after the first two weeks of me being away and we had the most amazing time. Everything was perfect. He went back home after 5 days and we spent another 9 weeks apart. He flew me back home in November for 10 days and we had an awesome time. We went to a wedding together and hung out almost every day. We developed such a strong connection over these first 3 months and both believed we were soulmates. He told me countless times how he’s never felt like this with somebody before and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. The last thing he said to me before I flew back across the country to finish the last month of school was that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. When I first got back across the country, I was really sad to be away from him again. I made the mistake of becoming clingy and over exaggerating how sad I was. He works around 90 hours a week and was not able to talk to me as often as I wanted. Three days after being away from him I made the mistake of telling him that he doesn’t care anymore, looking for some reassurance. Well, he got really turned off by that. I waited the following day to see how long it would take him to text me first or call me first. Three days passed and I finally reached out to him. He texted me back explaining how he has become completely numb towards me and didn’t like how I told him he didn’t care when he in fact did care. He said he had serious doubts about us. I responded trying to explain myself but it seemed as if his mind was already made up. He wouldn’t talk to me on the phone and would make me wait days before responding to my texts. Everything was up in the air for a week and he finally told me that he’s been trying to avoid facing the subject. He said he loves me and thinks I’m absolutely amazing but doesn’t see this working long term with us turning into husband and wife with kids and everything. I explained myself further and how I shouldn’t have been asking for reassurance and he just told me that he can’t change his feelings for the sake of us staying together. The last thing I said was that I’m not asking for him to change his feelings. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. I told him I meant everything I said before and that I can’t imagine losing that. He hasn’t responded and a few days later he changed his status on Facebook to single. It’s been a week now and I am so heartbroken and shocked. How can he go from being head over heels in love with me, wanting to marry me, to wanting nothing to do with me? He acted so cold and wouldn’t even call me or talk things out. I am moving back home in 15 days for good and he knows this. We had been looking forward to not being in a long distance relationship anymore. I am so heartbroken because I am in love with him and still believe that we are soulmates. I am hoping that with time and space, things will heal and that he will come back to me. Even if he does though, I won’t be able to take him back easily. I believe in what we had though and hope that he will start to miss me.

Grace

December 12, 2015 at 9:50 pm

I really need some advice, it’s been two weeks NC and he hasn’t reached out

Cata

December 5, 2015 at 4:57 am

Hi Chris,

I am not a clingy person, yet when my ex and I broke up everyone of my friends started to contact him and giving him a piece of their minds and ask him questions. I do not know what to do now because I believe that he probably thinks I sent them and / or that I am an immature girl, but none of that is not true. I loved with all my heart, but I understand his reason are his only and he doesn’t need to answer to anyone. Not even me, Please help me! I really don’t want him having that image of me. Should I email him to let him know or what do I do??!!! Please, please, please help me!!! Thank you
kemi

December 1, 2015 at 9:01 pm

Hey Chris, my boyfriend left me cause of this same reason. At first I lashed out and then realized mistakes and immediately apologized. I want him back, obviously, but I don’t know if he wants the same. I’m giving him some right now but I’m still very worried that he doesn’t want to give it another try.

Chris Seiter

December 1, 2015 at 9:15 pm

The no contact rule helps him forget the reason why he wanted to break up. Dont worry about him not wanting to give it another try. All you can do is try your best!

K

November 6, 2015 at 4:02 am

I would say I could be a gnat at times because I am a talkive person and I loved talking to him. I would say i had a higher ratio, but he is not that talkive compared to me. But out of all of those i would say I can be that one. My ex and I were together for 3.5 years (we are 22) things were great until he dropped out of college and I was not as supportive as he wanted me to be. I know he’s capable of wonderful things and I felt like he was giving up. After that our communication dropped off a little bit. We were still good though. Then I started to notice him distancing himself and I expressed my concern. Things got a little bit better for a while until he started distancing himself again. And then one morning I asked him if he was okay and if we were ok because he was being distant and oddly moody. He snaped and started packing all of my stuff into boxes and bags and told me to get out. We didn’t talk for a few days and then we met up to exchange some stuff that got mixed up. During this time we talked about everything and I could tell he was being emotional and he was hurt but was being “the tough guy”. The next morning I swung by his apartment and left him a letter it was kind of closure for me telling him how much I cared about him and I always be there for him but I understand if he no longer wanted to be with me but I hoped he would change his mind. A few hours later I get a phone call and he was bawling. We talked for hours and about how he wanted to get back together with me and how he loved me, how we could make things work and he never wanted to lose me. We worked on our communication and things were a lot better. He then ends things randomly over text saying he never got the chance to miss me and he still needed to think. I turned into a gnat that night. He then called me a week later saying sorry. Then things got even better after that we even starting looking at apartments again. Then he called me out of the blue saying he didn’t want to talk or see me for awhile. This all,happened in a month and a half. I am respecting his wish and I am on day 18 of NC. Do think I have a chance of getting him back? What are your thoughts on my situation? Thanks Chris!!

Leah

November 22, 2015 at 5:19 pm

I texted him on day 30 only to realize I have been blocked. What do I do now? Please help. I didn’t think he would go this extreme. I thought he only needed time, like he said. I am confused. Please help.

Michelle

October 15, 2015 at 8:06 pm

I have a specific situation.
This guy I have been seeing on and off for a year, we recently became super intimate. We had a 1:1 text situation and we were extremely passionate about one another. I found out that he was moving far away in a week, one week ago. We agreed that we would both like to see each other more and as result, I contacted him more to hangout. Out of nowhere he became somewhat distant and when I asked him about it, he said in the past couple days I was “pressing” him and not giving him room to chase after me. I responded saying “okay, I am really good at falling back” in which he replied saying ” don’t fall too back” I didn’t respond to that message. The problem is that he leaves in a week. If I do the 30 day no contact rule, I won’t see him before he leaves. I at least wanted a moment for us to hangout before we split ways. How should I approach this situation? Is this a situation that I just have to accept is over? Hopefully you can respond as soon as possible. Thank you in advance.
Keyshan

October 13, 2015 at 5:52 pm

I have a dilemma here. Guy I’m dating for 3 years went to Europe with a girl – just the two of them so of course it made me feel jealous. He never told me that the girl is just a good friend. And I think it’s normal for me to get jealous. When he came back, I joked and asked him how was his date with the girl in Europe. Instead of telling me right away that the girl is just a friend he unfriended me in Facebook and told me that he doesn’t want to see me anymore and that we have to move on. I have deep-seated issues and anxieties that were triggered. It doesn’t help that I caught him flirting with an ex before. We overcame that issue, but then this happened – he never told me that he’s going to Europe and that it was with a girl. I just found out when the girl tagged him in FB. I tried talking to him about it but he ignored me completely. This made me more mad. I have to admit it brought out my evil side, even our past issues came out. Apparently the girl was just really a good friend and she even knew that he was dating a girl. Had he given me the reassurance right away told it to me from the start our fight would not blow out of proportion.

I’ve said everything I wanted to tell him, apologized and told him about my opinion about what happened. He keeps on ignoring me so I decided to just ignore him for the meantime. Too bad this happened very close to my birthday, that’s why I’m more devastated. I feel that instead of understanding my needs, he chose the safer route of ignoring me. I blocked him in Facebook and even his messages. I just feel bad that an argument that shallow would lead to this.
ANGELIYZ

October 4, 2015 at 3:45 pm

Chris,

I have commented on your “Ungettable Girl” article before & I’m told you that I look like the Redhead girl in the pic there. I’m writing you, this time, to tell you that I’m in a very similar situation to the girl you wrote about here whom you’ve never actually dated but she pushed you away by her clingy attitude.
I have known him from Tinder since last December (10 months now), we had some common friends and his sister is within a common community as my family, I instantly fell for him although we’ve never met! We’re of the same social/ cultural standard, we share a lot of things, we’re both fun-lovers (but it doesn’t instantly show because im kinda shy), good-looking (I beat him in this one) and we also live nearby. However, I got caught quickly and as I expected he was probably looking for fun and hook-ups so he started backing off and got less interested.

Somehow in this process , I lost myself trying to convince him to give me a chance to have one real life date and that I can make him happy. He was very determined and pushed me away because I nagged & unless I agreed (a few times) to consent to talk physical stuff, he would mistreat me or on and off. At some incident I decided to remove him from FB and cut him off for a month (27 days actually) then popped up back to congratulate him on his fave team winning a match. He sounded different and seemed happy to hear from me again. I messaged him twice or 3 times one-liners and he’d either respond kinda excitedly or neutrally.

Then the fourth time, he actually started texting and his way totally changed. He seemed interested in me, and although he was still talking about a hookup coz he believes he can not maintain a relationship now, he really seemed to have been touched by all my past trials and how I was doing all this because I liked him.

I should have remarked earlier that he seems like a very emotionally vulnerable person who tries not to open up at all occasions, also, that he works as a pilot and probably that makes him try to keep up that basa** façade the whole time. He doesn’t like to express his emotions a lot, tries to have fun most of the time, kind and very smart kind of guy. With that combo, we could have matched really well but I don’t wanna compromise my morals to show him a bit of how compatible mentally, emotionally and physically we could have been.

What do you think? He’s been nagging to see me (but within his playful context) lately and started to kinda connect and try to sort things out. Should I stop texting or should I text to keep him connected ?

ANGELIYZMI

October 11, 2015 at 3:06 am

You know what Chris? I really think you should write an article about players. How to deal with them, when are they ready to settle & why they choose to settle for this person in specific. & why do they do the things they do with the totally reckless attitude..
ANGELIYZMI

October 6, 2015 at 9:58 pm

I wanna meet him alot!!! I’m just kinda scared i’d compromise my principles in the process. Although i really wanna show him how i can take him to the next level of emotional, mental, sensual than what he’s always had, im pretty scared id ruin it up, or ruin myself doing it & then he ditches me.
I like this guy hell alot & i feel we have some sort of mind-connection. PS i recently left him a personalized gift for his bday with his porter & he was really pleased. & btw he texted me again today!
Chris Seiter

October 6, 2015 at 4:05 am

Do you want to see him?

Anonymous

September 12, 2015 at 7:07 pm

Hi Chris, now that I’m reading about it, during the last months of my LDR I did all of the mistakes you listed above. I was the clingiest creature but he was always trying to make it better. At some point he started getting tired of me so I made an effort to change my needy behavior and things started getting a little better, more harmony and quality conversations. But one day he said he was feeling very depressed and didn’t want to tell me why, so my clingy self came out and I started a big fight because I thought he didn’t trust me or was hiding something from me. He was more relaxed the next day and he told me he wanted to break up, but still be friends, after trying and failing at change his mind about us, I accepted his decision and later he kept texting me as if nothing bad happened. At the next day he was still behaving like that and I asked him if it was because of another girl, he said it wasn’t but got mad because he thought I wanted to bring up the subject again so I gave him some time to cool down. There was something special we did together in a social network, and at the very next day, out of the blue, he started doing that thing he did with me with a girl that appeared out of nowhere, I mean, I found out she was part of his friend group, but he mentioned them before and introduced to me some of them, but that girl, appeared so suddenly, as far as I know they weren’t even close, but now she’s accepting his advances and even mirroring him. I did the NC and he didn’t contact me, but when I texted him he replied kindly and we’ve talking ever since, he got jealous when I told him I was at a friend’s house, and we’ve had short but good conversations. Even so, he’s still trying to hook up with this new girl. For the record, they’ve been talking for 4 weeks, and we dated each other for a year and 4 months. I think your recommendations are working, but he’s still chasing that new girl. I’d appreciate a lot of you told me what his recent actions mean or why is he doing this all of a sudden. Thank you in advance for your attention Chris.
Codex22

September 7, 2015 at 7:20 pm

Hi Chris,

I have an odd question here. What if my ex boyfriend said that I was clingy and always accusing him of cheating… but I actually never did that. When he went out with the boys I never messaged him or bothered him. When he went to Montreal for the weekend I only talked a bit when he messaged me. When he had friends who were girls who were mean to me I never told him to stop hanging out with them or got mad for it.

One thing I did do when we were discussing our past relationships was tell him that my previous ex had cheated on me (I dated that guy for five years and he was cheating with multiple women the whole time). I thought I was being open and honest telling him this but after that everytime he would talk to a girl he would reassure me he wasn’t cheating and I said “I know your not” but then he would tell his friends I am annoying and always accusing him of cheating? I NEVER did that! despite the fact that because of my previous experience it would be more believable that I would. Also, he would tell me I was exhausting when I would kiss him or hug him. And he thought it was funny to call me by other girls names when kissing me because I had been cheated on. I don’t understand why he called me almost all the above things that you say are annoying to men when in reality I really never did it :S Do you have any insight at all?

Thank you.

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