Without a doubt my interview with Lee is among the best I’ve ever conducted and it seems many people on my YouTube channel agree,

So, why is her interview resonating with people so much?

Simply put, I think she adopted the mentality of the ungettable girl and STILL lives her life like it to this day. So much so that she got her ex back but decided he wasn’t good enough for her anymore. She’s unapologetic about that fact.

Often my clients will hear me talk about how they need to have confidence after a breakup.

THIS WOMAN EXUDES IT.

Make her your spirit animal.

How Lee Got Her Ex Back And Decided He Wasn’t Good Enough For Her

Chris Seiter 0:00
Hey, I’m ready. Alright, so today we’re talking to another one of our success stories. This is Lee, who is basically become the ultimate ungettable girl. She was telling me a little bit about her situation before we got started recording and the importance of specifically why you need to kind of get yourself out there date other men. And so not only did he not only get her ex back, but she chose to reject her ex after she was like, I’m not really sure he’s up to up to par anymore, and now she’s dating someone who is great. Is that, is that a fair thing to say?

Lee 0:36
Yes, he’s, he’s proving himself, um, we definitely I, I implemented a new rule where when I start dating someone, I’m going to give them a 90 day trial, like

Chris Seiter 0:49
so it’s like, it’s like a money back guarantee type situation.

Lee 0:54
You if you really want something to be real and authentic, do you have to work for it, and you don’t want something immediately you want to, you know, you want to work toward something, and you don’t want to have your whole entire being within a month or two months, because things come out of the closet. Like, you know what I mean? Like, so you have to be careful. And as you get older, like, you know, I’m in my 30s Like, I’m not gonna just bring some Joe to my mom and be like, hey, you know, like, I want it worth it. And I want it to be real, you know?

Chris Seiter 1:22
Well, no, I think yeah, I think I think you bring up a really interesting point here. And we’ll get into the breakup stuff. Don’t worry, anyone listening. But I think this is an interesting point. One thing I’ve noticed there’s like these certain tipping points that set set men off specifically, like you mentioned, like, things come out of the closet as an example, Well, son, sometimes the more serious you get, that’s when the more crazy stuff that comes out of the closet, like you’re feel a little bit more comfortable to let that seven. So I think that I think the 90 day trial is is a pretty smart approach.

Lee 1:54
All important, and they respect you so much more. Like that’s the one thing I’ll say. And it’s it’s it works. It really works. It does in my mind.

Chris Seiter 2:06
I mean, you’re living it essentially. So before before we get to the to the happy roses at the end of the rainbow. Let’s go to the dark ring clouds for analogy there. But yeah, take us back to the beginning of like, when things went wrong, what the relationship was like with your ex.

Lee 2:23
So me and my ex like had the relationship everybody was like jealous of we both were like everyone called us Barbie and Ken We never fought like, you know, I got along so well with my his parents and vice versa. And it was interesting. It was like back back in the end of the spring. And we were actually about to go to a wedding the next weekend. We had started moving my stuff into his house like literally because that he was supposed to meet my nephew for the first time. And it was my first time meeting him as well. Because with COVID and everything they were living in Nashville. So it was like a couple double Whammies we were going up to see his his family that said like the following weekend, everything and like we were so excited. We had a great weekend. And literally it was like a Sunday morning. We were about to leave for the beach. Like I’m not kidding. We were about to like all our stuff was packed, our backpacks were on everything. And he’s like, we need to talk. And I was like, like, it’s really nice out, should we go outside bars? Like, do we do this at the beach? He’s like, No, we need to talk. And like, I sat down and I immediately knew like, I never like, I didn’t think it was coming. But once you see that look on the face, you’re like, I’m about to have a rug taken out from under my feet, you know? And I was I immediately said it to him. I was like, are we breaking up? And he’s like, I just he couldn’t even finish the sentence. He couldn’t complete a sentence. He couldn’t give me a rational reason. It was literally the conversation was maybe 20 words on his side. And he’s like, I’m gonna leave but you can pack your stuff. Like literally, that was the only thing that came out of his mouth. So I literally was like, You’re not leaving, like you’re gonna watch me do this. And then I quickly ran upstairs called one of my guy friends and he’s like, You don’t owe him anything. Take what you need and leave. Okay, and so legitimately, you know, I hear the door close. He leaves. I’m there with our dog. And I’m like bomb taking the dog. And it was literally a 20 minute like, everything flipped. And I took when I needed and I just left and I remember I went home. I called my sister and she was like really serious like, were they the baby and her were like three days from coming out. She’s like what, like we have a wedding to go to his name was on the invitation and everything And I was like, I don’t know. So I literally remember, I picked up a girlfriend. And we literally went out to brunch. Like, we went out to brunch, she posted a picture of me on social media out to brunch, like, literally to the point where keep in mind when my ex was breaking up with me, I just kept nodding. And I was like, okay, whatever you say, I’m not gonna fight for this. I’m not gonna have to prove myself if you don’t think I’m the person for you. That’s it. Okay. Like, okay, that’s it. And so then after that, I literally just remember sleeping for like, 24 hours straight. And then I woke up in the morning, and it was like a nightmare. Like it. It’s so weird when someone just pulls themselves from your life and you don’t see your phone ringing when usually, you have your patterns, your routines, and I just was like, numb. And I knew because I’ve been watching you for years, like just to keep my mouth shut. Because acting on impulse. From the minute you break up with somebody is going to shape your entire outcome, and I can’t really, huh,

Chris Seiter 5:59
so So have you already been kind of familiar with with no contact and stuff like that before this relationship?

Lee 6:07
Every time? I had good time. Okay, forehand.

Chris Seiter 6:12
Like you were already kind of part of the program by for this guy.

Lee 6:20
But I had been watching your YouTube videos for years, like okay, yeah.

Chris Seiter 6:25
So it was the long it was the long game to get you into a customer. Essentially, it’s against

Lee 6:31
Yeah. Well, the guy wasn’t worth it in my mind to like, and this one I was like, I’m just like, gotcha. And so literally, I, you know, kept my mouth shut. And I was like, my stuff’s still there. I know, I need it, but I’m not going to contact him yet. So I think like 48 hours had gone by, and I’m driving home from work, and an email pops up at like, 930 at night. And basically, it’s from him. He couldn’t even call to pick up the phone. It was like he was a coward who I was like, wow. And it’s basically the same thing that I see on all of the reasons why men break up with women. It’s like, oh, I can’t give you what you give me. You’re so great. You’re a great person, bla bla, bla, bla bla, what I’ve learned is those are empty excuses to get out. So they don’t feel bad about themselves. Like that’s the one thing you have to remember, if you look for a pattern or a trend or Google, like he said, this, does that mean we’re gonna get back together? Oh, it’s men, when they’re breaking up with you, I’ve learned will say anything to get out of a situation, whether it’s positive or negative, they want you out. Like they have their mind up. You know, luckily, my axe was a little bit more sensitive and didn’t go that route. So then I looked at the email, and I literally forwarded it to my twin and I just laughed. I was like, What a coward. He doesn’t deserve a response. So then the next day, I’m like, Alright, I got to start getting some of my stuff back. So instead of responding to the email, I picked up the phone, and I said, You know what, I need to get my stuff. And he’s like, what? You said you you saw the email though, right? And I’m like, Yeah, I was like, but I need to get my stuff like that doesn’t warrant a response for me. Like nothing that you said, is salvaging us, I need to move forward, I’m coming to get my stuff. Well, you’re

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Chris Seiter 8:18
playing this breakup really good. Like you’re really doing a solid job here. Because it’s like a value proposition. If you think about it, like the way you’re handling it. Screams value, like, Yeah, this is what a valuable woman would do. She’s like, Alright, fine, whatever, I can find, I can replace you not the other way

Lee 8:37
around. And it’s, and that we, as women have to remember, we need to bet on, like, if we’re getting dumped anybody that’s getting dumped, you have to bet on yourself. Like you have to bet on yourself, that when you are walking out the door, or they’re pushing you out the door, that you are the best they’re ever going to have you. And that and you know,

Chris Seiter 8:55
people don’t think that because their insecurities are so great, and they’re so anxious, it just sort of that’s what comes out.

Lee 9:04
It I get it. But if you take it from that approach, like I bet on myself, that I’m so good of a person no one else is there’s no other man in the world, that they’re going to feel a void. It’s going to come and whether it’s 30 days, 90 days a year, there’s going to be that point where they sit there and like Damn. You know, like, he never did this or this

Chris Seiter 9:27
is the exact attitude this year anyone listening, this is the attitude you need to want to be successful.

Lee 9:34
Wow. She sat with my mom on Sundays and knitted and she hates knitting. Those are the things that are going to like make you a better person. And I knew our relationship was such quality. It wasn’t toxic. We weren’t fighting. Like those situations. You shouldn’t get back with your ex if you’re fighting every other day. You know, there’s cheat, like come on. But this was actually something where I was like, Alright, I’m a little iffy. I’m really going to do this right and I was like, I bet on my myself, and everyone’s like, you’re really not going to talk to him like, No 30 days. So that’s when I bought the program. I was at the wedding and I was having

Chris Seiter 10:08
Okay, tire took a year to break it down. Yeah, finally, gotcha.

Lee 10:13
I driving up to the wedding. And I’m like, feeling anxious because I know his name is gonna be on everything. And I’m like, I’m downloading the program, I’m buying it. And I remember as I’m getting ready for the wedding, as I’m driving around, like, I had my air pods and and I’m just listening to chapter after chapter. And I’m like, Alright, this is empowerment. Like, this is empowerment, this is what I’m going to do. And so I went to the wedding, and I had a blast, I had a blast. I was meeting, you know, a single woman at a wedding is a diamond in the rough. Like, we have to remember that. So I up. And keep in mind that entire time it had been like a week since we broke off. I went radio silent on social media, like he had to, I made it to a point where he had to check an obituary to see if I was alive. My friends were not allowed to post me. I didn’t add anybody on it. There was no bread crumbing like I was out. And so of course, I go to the wedding. Have a great time. I look great. And what do you think I do? The day after it was, it was on a Saturday. So Sunday night, I was like, I’m gonna post this photo, and it’s this beautiful photo, I’m in the field. I’m laughing, I’m smiling. And I waited till seven o’clock at night, because I knew that’s when everyone’s home from the weekend checking things. And I hit hit post. And literally, like, the photo, like for my friends, like broke the internet. Everybody’s like cheering me on, everyone’s like, yeah, like, That’s it, go, boom. And then I went silent again, I went silent. And that’s when he started breaking. Because, you know, my friends and I would be out. They’d post something. And then they check their stories. And he’s immediately checking, like to see, like, if I’m living or breathing, and then I just, you know, kept with the program. But then the biggest thing was, I didn’t look back, I looked forward. And then what I did was, you know, I had goals with this man, I had a timeline with this man. And the first thing I did was reset my goals for myself, right, and I

Unknown Speaker 12:22
carry some of those goals.

Lee 12:25
So like, oh, sorry, alarms going off. And so

Chris Seiter 12:30
far, it’s tough for interview, we started a little bit early.

Lee 12:35
So some of the goals were like simple, like, you know, get a place of your own, I was going to be living with him. I wasn’t in an apartment I was happy with at the time. So I was at his place a majority of the time. So it was finding a quality home that I was proud of, you know what I mean? That was something out of, and then it was reassessing my career, I was really unhappy with my work schedule. And I was like, let me let me get it a little bit higher. Like, let me you know, let me take myself to the next level, let me challenge myself. And then it was like, I want to make X amount every single month, how am I going to do that? So you know, then it was like, be a better daughter, be a better friend reconnect apologize to your friends that you kind of put on the side when you’re making your relationship a priority. And those are the things I really invested in. And then I reassess my friends circle that I did have, and may do friends, you know. So I really tried to do a full transition. Because for me, I knew that was that was the only progressive way to make a change in my life to potentially never get this person back. If we stay stagnant. Who we are, and we don’t evolve, and we don’t see ourselves reaching new goals and new heights in our life. There’s no intrinsic motivation. So like, what I will say is challenge yourself, to make yourself uncomfortable and actually follow through with the program and do things like that Trinity. Actually do the Trinity for yourself, right? Don’t fit for that. Don’t do it for their friends to see. Do it for you. Because the outcome was like my outcome is now I have a better home, I make more money. I have an incredible job. And that’s all for me. Like that’s exactly.

Chris Seiter 14:22
So what’s interesting about the goal setting this is this is the question I want to ask you I’ve been thinking a lot about this from from like local goals to global goals. So if like you think of a local goal, that’s kind of like short term so like you mentioned the apartment. That’s a great example of a local goal because that’s something that you can theoretically find within the span of three to five months. But then there’s like bigger global goals and the global goals are kind of like getting married having kids things like that. Did you only just set like local goals or did you also set yourself global goals that would take years to get to

Lee 14:54
you know, I I’m like here I am like being a ball and being like I’m strong. I had this person Then like did it it it up, but I was still hurting a lot. And the wrongs I hear on the radio and stuff like that. So I did local goals, because realistically, teams were like shattered. Like, you know, I was like I’m getting married next year, we said we’re gonna kids in two years, how can I make a new local goal, like a global goal when that is more heartbreak? Don’t want to trigger yourself? You know? Yeah,

Chris Seiter 15:23
no, I think I think that’s, I think there’s something to that too, because like, I think sometimes people when they set those global big goals, like getting married, buying house together, kids, things like that, you can serve as a productive North Star, but when you’re going through a breakup, that North Star can be so bright, it kind of just ruins you, you know,

Lee 15:44
don’t don’t, don’t do it to

Chris Seiter 15:47
local goals only.

Lee 15:51
Like you just have went through a huge transition in your life, like, be kind to yourself and be realistic of what you can achieve. Because realistically, some days, I didn’t want to get out of bed. So it’s like, you know, keeping it simple in the beginning, and then seeing that movement is really how you make it work. Like it really is how you make it work. And you know, when you have a entirely new life, basically, because that’s what I did, you know, I lost my person that I was living with, that I loved that I saw a future with, I had to reset, I had to hit reset. And I think that’s something we all aren’t prepared to do. But that’s what we have to do. You know what I mean, we can’t attach ourselves to the past if we want to move forward.

Chris Seiter 16:33
So it seems like things are going pretty well. You’re like posting all this stuff on social media, you’re kind of capturing this attention, you’re still kind of radio silent. It seems like you’re kind of almost like coming out of water, like a submarine every once in a while to post something. And then you go back down and underwater. When does things really began to snowball for you with regards to the ex like actively chasing, begging for you back things that nature. So

Lee 16:59
it wasn’t like a wasn’t like he was blowing up my phone. He’s he sent a lot of testers and it was actually interesting how it got back together. So keep in mind, we ended things at the end of May. And then I think mid July, he reached out and was like, Hey, I hope you had a good Fourth of July. It was like July 21.

Chris Seiter 17:20
So based on weeks after July 4, he reaches out, which is a really odd text message to send, like way after the fact.

Lee 17:30
Yep. And I was sitting at the pool with my friend at my brand new apartment. And you know what I did, posted a picture of myself at the pool and just went out with my friends at night and didn’t even respond. And then I responded. The next is that window of time, it literally I think was day 45. So I had gone past those 30 days. And I was like I don’t I don’t think I’m in that mindset yet. I still knew I missed him. But I still knew I needed to move forward. So I was like, You know what, I’ll wait till the next day. And I was like, yeah, things are going well. And he literally goes to me, he goes, Yeah, like what’s going on in your life I’ve been following or social media, but it’s kind of hard to read what’s going on. And I was like, Docker, like, you know, cuz it’s like, I’m posting little things like new apartment. I’m out with friends, he has no idea who they are now

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Chris Seiter 18:19
just is a subtext here that he’s worried you’re dating someone else at all?

Lee 18:25
Probably. And he just saw me like, I evolved. I have so many of his friends following me. And like, I’m a very prideful person. So it’s like, you know what I’m gonna prove to them like I am. I’m not, I’m something of worth. And I’m going to take this break with dignity. You know, that’s the biggest thing you have to remember is that, like, at the end of the day, you want to go out with dignity, you want people to respect you like, the biggest thing is, is that it’s actually interesting. I’m still very close with some of my exes, friends, and I don’t think any of them would have been close with me if I didn’t take a mature approach to the breakup. Okay, you know, so quickly, you know, he was like, it’s hard to see what’s going on with your life. And I’m like, things are going really great. Like, sorry, you got a run going to the pool. And then he reached again, because I still had some of his stuff. And so we agreed, you know, we had gone back and forth. We talked on the phone a little bit. And then you know, we have the meetup. And he I call him the day of the meetup. And I’m like, hey, you know, I know you’re busy. But are we good for later? And he’s like, uh, yeah, we can get a drink. And I’m, I’m going to drive 45 minutes, we’re getting more than a drink. Like, this isn’t an in and out, you know, this is like, we’re gonna at least have some respect for one another. We’ve been together for a year, we could sit a table, at least you know, for an hour, exchanged stuff and walk away. Now what I mean, not bring up the relationship and just be cordial. It’s like, uh, yeah. And I was like, You know what? I was like, You’re clearly not prepared for that. I didn’t entertain the conversation really, I knew what was happening. And I was like, You know what, clearly you’re not ready for this. I’m sorry, I thought otherwise, took his stuff that I had still and just shipped it. shipped it to I just okay, I shipped it. And I went radio silent again, 30 days, and then I start getting the bread crumbing facts again. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Like, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I’m like, You know what? There’s, there’s no question. There’s no, there’s no course of action that he’s, he’s putting in these texts. I’m gonna keep moving forward. You know, and then I started dating. And, you know, he obviously caught wind of that. And I dated once again, for myself. It wasn’t to make him jealous. I met someone that I thought was pretty cool. And I started dating them. And, you know, eventually he he called me he, my ex called me he reached out. He was like, I really want to see you, I really want to talk to you. Um, I did some coaching sessions with Anna and I was like, You know what? You should you should meet up with him. Okay, so then, you know, we meet up waterworks, no other woman has ever treated me the way that you do. And I want another chance did it at a

Chris Seiter 21:13
pretty typical, pretty typical.

Lee 21:16
Yeah. Funny.

Chris Seiter 21:18
So sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt. But I wanted to interject here. I think the really funny part about this is, I feel like the, the way you handled the breakup was so on point that really played into that result. Like, I don’t think you get that result if you are acting not. If you’re acting like the typical anxious person after a breakup, you’re begging for them back, you’re crying, you’re being too overtly jealous. I think the way you handled it really created this value gap between you and other women, potentially that he could have other alternatives for him. And I think that’s the key component on why you got the result you did.

Lee 22:04
I followed exactly what you said to like, I remember there was one thing it was like, change up your look a little bit like, go that extra mile and I did that I was doing those things. I was trying new things. I was surfing again. I was I used to sing. I was singing again. And he’s like, looking at all this. And he’s like, holy shit. Yeah, like I missed out on all of this, that I could have been a part. Yeah. And, and so it cost thing. Yep. And so finally, you know, we start dating again. And it was okay. It wasn’t anything astronomical. It was, you know, it was there were those great feelings. But at the same time, every morning, I would, you know, when we got back together and things started working again, every morning, there’s still that fear that they’re gonna check it out again, you know, like, as much as I was doing everything, right, like, you know, I still had that fear. Um, but you know, do you ever

Chris Seiter 22:58
talk to him about that at all? And he gave you the whole publish feels like, you don’t need to worry about this. I’m in it right here to try to. But did he actually do any actions? Like to backup anything? He said?

Lee 23:15
Oh, yeah, like, so it was interesting, because he was the one that told me what his weaknesses were and how he could have been a better man and the relationship. So it was like communication. So he really started communicating quality time. And those were things we already were doing. But he took it to that next level. And it was interesting, because we always were at his place, we were going to move into his place, he started coming to mine. And I had some like, very hard time. Like, you know, my mom got really sick. And I will say this, he was my backbone through that. So he really was proving himself. But at the end of the day, when you, you know, I had three months to grow. And I’m looking at, you know, what he’s doing when I’m not with him, like, he’s kind of a child still, you know, and he’s like, five, I was like, do I really want this life anymore? Like, is this really it for me? Like, is he gonna be just doing those same things? And is that really where I want to take my life? And then I started realizing that I was having that bad gut feeling that he told me about four months prior, and I needed to go with my gut and realize that he wasn’t it.

Chris Seiter 24:25
Yeah, I think what’s what’s interesting, at least, the way I I’ve always looked at it is I feel like when women put themselves in a position where men have to prove themselves to them, they’re always like, they’re always in a, I don’t know, inherently better position. And what’s interesting about this is you had grown to such a level where you wanted to I think it’s kind of like a snowball type thing. You wanted to keep the growth going. Do you feel like he hindered it at all? Like just being with him kind of like set you back from like, reaching your maximum potential?

Lee 24:58
I would have stayed in the same Like complacent things I was, you know, I would have stayed in the same job, I wouldn’t have challenged myself, it was all simple. Like, you know, I was very, I was a top performer in a company, I won, like, most valuable employee, one year out of 2000 employees. And it was like, alright, well, you’re really good, like, wow, those are really commendable things, but we’re gonna get married, we’re gonna have kids, and then you’re gonna stay home with the baby for two years and take care of it and not work.

Chris Seiter 25:27
And so that was that was your life trajectory that

Lee 25:31
was gonna be that was gonna be it. And you know, who knows, maybe that’s what I wanted. But that was what he wanted. And I was like, Okay, well, I really want to be with him. So I’m going to do whatever he says, I really get married, you know?

Chris Seiter 25:43
Yeah, I mean, that doesn’t seem like the great foundation for a marriage, that’s going to last a long time, especially if there’s that level of resentment. And then when you get kids involved, that adds an extra layer of complexity cuz you you love your kids more than anything. So it just kind of muddies the waters and you can end up feeling trapped. Not to say that yeah, being a mom or all those stuff is like a fulfilling thing. But there’s always that resentment potentially bubbling under the surface. And did you feel like that was kind of where that feeling came from?

Lee 26:12
Women have maternal clocks, like, we have to remember that and we grow up with a group of female friends, and they all start getting married. And you don’t want to be the last one. I didn’t want to be the last just like a picture type thing. Yeah, it’s my MO peer pressure. And that’s exactly what I was doing. So anything he was saying was enough. I age bracket to get married, get engaged. So this was it. You know, this, this, this was it. This was complete, in my mind. But realistically, I wasn’t listening to myself, You know what I mean, my life. I hadn’t accomplished the things that I wanted to accomplish that I knew I was capable of. Yeah,

Chris Seiter 26:51
I mean, that’s not to say you don’t want to get married. You don’t want to have kids. You just feel like you don’t want to be tied down to only having that as your potential future. If I’m getting that right.

Lee 27:03
And tied down with the wrong person.

Chris Seiter 27:06
Yeah, that too. So you, you eventually, you eventually get to this, this dual middle way a little bit. Yeah. JACKIE. Alright, I’ll talk to you just close the door. First time that is interview,

Lee 27:34
hot, and I was like, Oh my God, that’s my like, that’s my I have not

Chris Seiter 27:38
shaved and days. I’m looking awful. You know, so I will take the compliment and be thankful for that. So obviously, you you meet someone new, how does that come about?

Lee 27:52
Um, so one day, I remember like, the day we broke up, and I was like, you know, this doesn’t feel right. And I sent him a message. And I’m like, I want to talk to you on the phone. And he was like, I’m having a bad day. And I’m like, Well, wait, why are you having a bad day? He’s like, work is just really hard today. And that was it. I was like, you get paid? Well, you have a good job, like, and you’re complaining, like when people are starving, dying, my mom was dealing with cancer. So it was like, tell me what a real problem is, sweetheart. So that was my that was it. I was done. I was like, Listen, you have no sense of reality. And that’s not the man that I want to have kids with. Have a future with like he truly showed his weakness second time around. And I think a lot of it had to do with how strong I was this time around. You know what I mean? And so, you know, we ended it. And I think like, it was actually interesting. I like, I started, like, you know, just hanging out with my friends a lot. And I was going to a concert. And it was like a month after we ended things and my ex knew I was at the concert. And I’m literally sitting at the concert and I see my axe like five feet away.

Chris Seiter 29:11
So after I’ve broken things off,

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Lee 29:14
it was a month later, and it was in I told him I was going to the concert. He helped me pick the tickets, like where I was sitting. So

Chris Seiter 29:23
basically, he knew to be there. He basically bought tickets to be there near you to try to win you back again.

Lee 29:29
It was an Eric Church concert. Do you know how back to those are? Like it’s not like a little rinky dink like he went to like Madison Square Garden. Yeah. So I just like I love I was like whatever. So then I, you know, started dating again. I had friends setting me up, I went on dating apps and I wasn’t like Alright, pick the first available bachelor out there. I started talking to like seven at once. Like, I

Chris Seiter 30:00
don’t know, I think there’s something great about that. It’s like a numbers game, you’re trying to find the right one.

Lee 30:06
We have to remember as women, like, I have guy friends. I know when they’re single. They’re not just talking to one girl. Like, I hate to say it. That’s true. And we have absolutely true. My Psyche was like, You know what, I’m going to give the same amount of respect and effort that Amanda when I’m dating now, so I started dating multiple, it wasn’t even like I was sleeping around or anything. They was like, on Monday, I was going out to dinner with x. And then on Friday, I was going out to dinner, why? And they were all different. And they were all bringing different things to the table. And I had a blast. I did it for like a solid two months. And I won’t lie. Every single one of those men respected me. They chased me, because they knew I had options. I was assertive, and I had my shit together. You know, keep in mind, it wasn’t like, Hey, why haven’t? Why haven’t I heard from him? It was more like, why haven’t I heard from her? Like, you know what I mean? Like, we just had a great date. Why isn’t she like blowing up my phone? Because it was like, You know what, I’m not gonna give 110% yet. And so I kept dating, kept dating. And then I, you know, I met a unicorn. And he and I, you know, just mash. And it was easy from, from, you know, day one. And it was funny, because he kept trying to meet up with me, but I had other dates. And he was like, come on, come on, come on. And I’m like, Oh, I can’t tonight, like, this is going to be our first date night. And then I remember like, before, are the night before our first date. He is like, I’m going to call you and like, I don’t even know you like he’s like, I’m gonna call you. So I was like, Alright, if you could keep me on the phone for more than 10 minutes, I’ll stay on the phone and talk to you. We were on the phone for like four hours. And then the next morning, we won’t you

Chris Seiter 31:50
love it. When you get those connections, you just you just mesh so well. Yeah, only handful of times I’ve ever experienced that. Because usually it’s kind of not working. You know, you’re talking to

Lee 32:01
an absolute stranger. And he was, you know, he was my type. He was kind, you know, and I was like, wow, like, this could be it. Like, you know, you get that gut feeling the same gut feeling I had to end it with my axe, I was getting a gut feeling that I was actually potentially with the right person for once. We have the same common interest, we had the same mindset. We spoke to our pasts and our accountability and the things that we wanted for our futures and match. And it was interesting, because our first date was supposed to be on a Saturday. And he’s like, Alright, I have football practice, but I’m gonna, you know, I’m coming over, and I’m gonna take you out at nine o’clock at night, the day before, because I really want to see you I’m like, no, no, no. And he was like, Nope, I’m coming. We ended up going out that night. And we like, we just clicked it. It all made sense. It was it was easy,

Chris Seiter 32:51
seamless, there was no like, trying to fit a square peg into a round hole type situation. It’s worked. Maybe that was not the right analogy to use. But

Lee 33:01
what like thing is, is that I the biggest thing for me though, was I still like, even though he was this amazing person. I was like, Hold on, let me backtrack, because I just went through some serious trauma with this breakup. Am I gonna rush things just this happened again, my gonna, you know, push these other guys away? And I was like, Absolutely not. And then I implemented the 90 day trial. Okay, and here we are.

Chris Seiter 33:28
We’re still on a 90 day trial currently, right?

Lee 33:32
Really, we’re almost at the end, but almost there, you know, what he was like, We got to be exclusive. So like, around like day 60 We did that. But like, you know, it was my my one of my friends give me the suggestion. He’s like, put them on a 90 day trial because things come out of the closet, and you still want to have options. And it worked. It really

Chris Seiter 33:54
the guy you’re currently dating is aware of the 90 day trial.

Lee 34:00
There are no secrets. And he knows that.

Chris Seiter 34:02
It is the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard. Because any No. Now, here’s potentially a philosophical question between you and I hear you are implementing this 90 day trial on this guy. But you’ve told him about it. So wouldn’t theoretically he be on his best behavior during the 90 days and then all the crazy crap comes out. Do you worry ever about that?

Lee 34:27
No, because you know, I like I mean, we like it’s so funny because he says this to me all the time. He’s like, you’re crazy matches my crazy like, and that’s the biggest thing. Also, like after going through the program and learning things like you can never hold yourself back from being yourself in a relationship. And you need to vocal beginning your morals and your values. And you need to slowly introduce them to your past and any skeletons you have. But like you just have to authentically be yourself if you want a genuine relationship. And I think that’s something that I didn’t do in my I passed with my axe I you know, it was very, like, I was more composed. But this time I was like, you know, I’m just bat out of hell, I’m gonna have some fun, like, you know, and if it sticks, it sticks, but I’m not going to be someone that I’m not in a year or in two years, I’m going to evolve as a person, but he’s never gonna say like, Hey, this, this wasn’t the person I signed

Chris Seiter 35:19
up for. Well, I think what’s also interesting about that approach is it’s so much easier to live life, just being truthful and honest, not playing the games. In a weird way. 90 day trial is kind of a game. It’s sort of a playing heart type thing. But you’re being honest about it. And weirdly enough, when you find that right person or that right connection, I feel like it is just inherently easier. It’s

Lee 35:44
it’s interesting, because when I told him I was doing this, it’s like, alright, just send me send me the I want to hear it when it’s done. He’s like, I’m really proud of you. Like and cool, you know? Yeah, he’s like, that’s awesome. You know, and he’s not like, oh, like, you know, you you did an extra recovery program. And like, now you’re gonna do that. Thank you. Like, like, cool. He’s like, let me know how, let me know how it goes, you know, like, and that’s that. It’s,

Chris Seiter 36:09
it’s always interesting. Yeah, sorry, go ahead.

Lee 36:12
Zack knows that I’m doing this because obviously, it was like, out of respect,

Chris Seiter 36:15
I just want you’ve just told everyone, so this is gonna be our most watched episode ever. Right here.

Lee 36:19
I EB and you know, to his mom, like, I didn’t know you broke up with her through like, before all that stuff. But you know, you have to, like, the biggest thing I’ve learned is like, you have to find who you are as a person with this program. And that’s the success. That’s how you have your success. And, you know, I realized that I had to be comfortable with myself before I love somebody else again. And those are all things that the program taught me. I think, a lot of the times when women are doing the program the whole time, they’re like, Alright, I’m supposed to evolve. But my action is in the back of my mind at all times, I’m checking social media, I’m doing this I’m posting a photo,

Chris Seiter 36:59
they’re evolving for the wrong reasons, they’re evolving for they’re not evolving for themselves. And that’s the distinction that is so important to make. And I have such trouble getting people to, to accept

Lee 37:12
if you fake it, so for example, okay, like, you’re gonna pick up this, this beautiful hobby, and you’re gonna do it, and you’re gonna get really good at it. But then when you get back with your ex, you let it go, they’re gonna be like, Wait, I thought you were into, you’re just

Chris Seiter 37:27
doing that to like, attract me back. Essentially.

Lee 37:31
Men are not dumb. So like, you know, that’s the biggest thing like you have to have like, and I think a lot of the times in the pattern when I like read the Facebook’s and stuff like, we like a lot of the women really to shape their lives around these men, and I was one of them. And I’m like, that’s no way to live. Because at the end of the day, the questions Oh, is this? Am I? Are they good enough? For me? It’s not Am I good enough for them? You know what I mean? And that has to remember when you know, picking our significant others, we’re not questioning our worth, it’s questioning if they’re worthy enough to be in our lives to be around our families, our children, you know, our animals even like you, you have to remember your worth and your value. Because you there’s only one of you in the world. And you might not be the prettiest you might in your eyes or vice versa. But like you are special. And that’s how you have to tackle this.

Chris Seiter 38:26
Yeah, everyone has some unique aspect of themselves that they can offer, and almost have an unfair advantage. And I think the inherent problem with most people in the Facebook group is they don’t recognize that because they’re so codependent on that relationship. By nature. Most people on the on the Facebook group are anxious attachment styles and anxious attachment styles naturally just are shaping their entire lives around this relationship. And while they’re great problem solvers, and that’s one of the aspects of that, because I feel like anxious attachment styles, like they’re good problem solvers. And that’s one of the positive aspects about it. But we always focus on the negative aspects. So I’ve been trying to get people to Yeah, problem solving aspect in a positive way. So use kind of the advantage, find the disadvantage and turn it into advantage essentially, is what I’m saying. No, but you’re right. Yeah.

Lee 39:25
I think what you’re trying to say is like, Stop putting the blame on yourself. Like you read the stories in there. Like, I was clingy. I was this. It’s my fault. I’m the reason why he left it a done. No, that’s not the reason. Like it’s, it takes two people. And like, if you go like that, you can’t be a doormat.

Chris Seiter 39:48
No, you’re right. And I think also like, a lot of it is due to their attracting. So what’s interesting about your story, and what I think maybe you’re not speaking enough to is the fact that you Your new person seems to be more in line with what you want. In the future, you’re doing the 90 day trial essentially to prove that. But what’s interesting is, when you look at your past relationship with your ex, potentially what happened is that guy had some avoidant tendencies. And what happens in a lot of times in the Facebook group is they’re in similar situations where they’re anxious, they entirely revolve their life around wrapping it up into this relationship, the the avoidant person falls away, because they’re just kind of like, you know, I can’t take all the pressure from that person. And then they naturally think in their heads, oh, it’s my fault. But to your point, no, it’s to people, you may have played some role in some of the anxious tendencies or some of the crazy things you did during the relationship, but also the fact that the guy wasn’t willing to sit down with you and communicate with you and make you feel kind of like you belonged in the relationship. They got to take ownership of that. And you said, like, a lot of times, when men break up with you, they’re giving you the it’s not you, it’s me excuse, but they’re just trying to appear altruistic, when they’re not really altruistic at all. And that’s kind of the point we’re trying to make.

Lee 41:13
Yeah, and it’s interesting, because, in the past, you know, in my past relationships, it was always like, Oh, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, and now it’s like, now that I’m in this new relationship, yes, he is my boyfriend. Like, even though it’s a 90 day trial, it’s still like, yes, that is my significant other. Like, I don’t associate myself with him like that it like, you know, it’s like, yes, he complements my life. But I don’t need to keep affirming verbally, that, Oh, yeah, me and him did this on this day. Like, I know, he’s my person. I know, it works. And that’s all I need to prove to myself, like, at the end of the day, I don’t need to be like, Oh, this is my boyfriend. It’s like, you know, it. People, people will know, like, we’re a strong couple. And I’m confident with him. Like, I know, it’s almost like, he provides a shield like around me, and I feel warm, you know, knowing he’s in my life. But it’s like, at the same time, he’s not what I sent her my life round.

Chris Seiter 42:11
Yeah, I think there’s, there’s something because really what happens, you know, totally makes sense, what really what I think you’re speaking to here is how you derive meaning in your life. And I think a lot of the mistake people make is they derive their entire meaning and life around this relationship. And what you’re saying is essentially, that’s a complimentary aspect of how I derive meaning. But all these other things over here also create the meaning in my life. This is what gives me fulfillment. The relationship is just like one pillar of that. It’s a great pillar, arguably the strongest one, but it’s not the only pillar.

Lee 42:49
Yeah. And like, if it crumbles, it’s not gonna ever define me again. And that’s what this program taught me to do. And I think that’s what people really need to remember. Like, it’s not the end of the world, like you, the world is still spinning. It’s just how you choose to like, get up and move, like, the world is still moving you sitting at home, feeling sorry for yourself isn’t gonna get you anywhere, even if you want your ex back. But it’s if you start moving forward authentically, you’re going to get what you want, eventually, whether it’s your ex, whether it’s you know, someone else, whether it’s anything, it’s like, you got to do it. And you and I will say like, with the program, you actually have to do it for yourself. If you are like only doing this for it, you’re not going to get them back the right way.

Chris Seiter 43:37
Yeah, and I think you hit on something really profound again, which is, I think a lot of people misunderstand when they say I want my ex back. But that’s not really what they want. Really, what they want is a loving relationship that, you know, potentially lifelong, but that gives them joy. That’s what you want. If I were to offer you, your ex back, but the ex is in this really poor relationship with you, there’s fighting all the time, versus someone else who can provide warmth, you mentioned, like, you know, he makes you feel warm, and all that stuff. Versus that that’s really what you want you you want that kind of security, you don’t want to get in a relationship with an ex who’s gonna not be right for you. And I think that’s the distinction because if you started thinking about like, oh, I need to get my ex back. I need to get my ex back. You’re doing things to get your ex back. You need to do things to make yourself into someone that can attract or magnetize those other types of people to you. Whether that’s your ex or not, and I think that’s what you’re hitting on.

Lee 44:40
Mm hmm. Because when you go through a breakup you like that’s the lowest Do you feel like anybody can you can walk into her room and everyone’s like, wow, she’s most beautiful, but you don’t feel that way anymore. And like, the biggest thing is, is that the program, if you do it right helps you get your confidence back up, and helps you realize like you challenging us for the skill sets and Trinity and stuff like that. It really like if you take a step back and look at all that you accomplish. It’s like, wow, like, I’m really powerful. And I can do all this during this like terrible time in my life like I can do. Yeah, yeah.

Chris Seiter 45:16
Getting back at your situation. Do you feel like what do you feel like was the most important thing that got you to this to this result? Like going back? What would you say if you had to pick one thing that was the most important thing?

Lee 45:32
When my ex broke up with me, I said, Okay. I was like, whatever you feel at the

Chris Seiter 45:42
time, you just left it at that you didn’t get into any breakup talk or some sort of like any closure, you’re just like, okay, got your stuff left,

Lee 45:51
you’re done. I’m not gonna bag you’re done with me. I’m not gonna beg to be in your life.

Chris Seiter 45:57
But how did you get that residence? How did you get that confidence to be able to say that?

Lee 46:06
How did I do it? So um, I remember back in the day, like, I remember one time, me and my ex broke up. And I like, threw myself on the ground. And I was like, sobbing. And my it happened. Other happened to be there. Because we were moving my knee out of past boyfriends like, you know, we were living together and we had broken up, and we called my parents to get my stuff out to help. And I was like, laying on the floor, sobbing and my mom just looks at me, she’s like, you’re a woman, have some respect for yourself. And I was,

Chris Seiter 46:41
so you need you need to have a mom like your mom, I said,

Lee 46:46
really unpacking it and watching the videos and stuff. And it’s like, okay, I don’t think a lot of the time. Like, when I talk to some of the girls in the group and stuff and like my battle, buddy, she’ll be like, Oh, my God, I accidentally sent him like five texts last night, like, I had been drinking a little. And I was just like, really nostalgic. And I kept asking him why, like, we can’t be together faster, and they’re in like a good place. They’re talking to them again. But then they get a little too pushy. And we’ve all been there when someone’s pursuing us. And they’re really annoying and Natty. And we’re just like, No. So I don’t think a lot of the time the people in the group remember it on the other side? And how annoying it is and how unattractive it is. And it’s like, you’re not gonna get anywhere. But you might get smarter if you actually just accept it and be like, you know, you’re right. This isn’t working. You’re you’re you’re not working for me either. Okay.

Chris Seiter 47:38
Yeah, I think also, there’s kind of like a little underlying vengeance motivation there. It’s kind of like, oh, oh, you you think you can do better than me, I’m going to show you. But you

Lee 47:47
know, that’s the case. Because if you truly love somebody, you know what you knew, you know, what you bring to the table. It’s just whether or not they want it. And if they don’t, it’s their loss. Like, that’s what you have to realize, like, loving someone is one of the best feelings in the world. And if that person chooses to reject that love, that you work so hard to build that you were vulnerable about, like, you know, you put yourself in a position where you truly like, if you really truly love somebody, and they don’t want it like that’s on you. That’s not like that’s on you. Not on me. Yeah, I’m sorry.

Chris Seiter 48:25
Well, I mean, you also have to have the confidence in yourself to be able to get to that place emotionally. And it seems like sometimes you don’t, you have to go through kind of the road of trials, so to speak, to get there. Like you mentioned, the situation where you threw yourself on the ground crying to try to get the you know, like, that’s, that’s a trial, but you learn from it. And that’s the cat.

Lee 48:47
And like, I would say this to anybody, like when you’re doing the the program or like even when you decide to start dating again, and you should be dating while you’re you’re in the program, because realistically, there’s no promise that you’re going to get your ex back and you should see what else is out there. Because there there are amazing people out there that might work better for you like minded, you know, but the biggest thing is, is that like you you you need to remember like you kind of put yourself out there and you got to at least take a little bit of a risk. Like you’ve got it because it will only bite you in the face at the end of the day. Like it’s just the biggest thing isn’t it’s not like fake it till you make it but you have to like I would look myself in the mirror every morning and be like You are beautiful. You’re smart. And it’s not on you. This is not on you anymore. And like you need to move forward because what are you going to get just sitting there crying?

Chris Seiter 49:46
Yeah, I think that’s the power of self belief in a nutshell right there. You just built into going back to what you said earlier. You’re just betting on yourself. You’re just saying like I’ll put push all the chips in I know. I’m going to come up the other and be fine with this. And that is the key component that so many people miss because they they’re not they don’t have that level of self confidence.

Lee 50:10
Yeah, yeah. And I really like the way you do the program, it’s not manipulative, but it’s, it really does work. If you follow it like it, the success rate should be 100 if you just actually listen to what

Chris Seiter 50:23
it’s not, unfortunately, in fact, I’m actually surprised it’s as high as it is, um, you know, Anna Anna has like a really high success rate with her coaching clients. But like, across the board, we’re finding 70% are doing pretty well. But I’m actually surprised it’s that high because of what you see in the Facebook group and the amount of pain people are going through there. And the amount of codependency they have in the relationship or the x. It’s just, I’m surprised. I’ll just put it that way. I

Lee 50:53
was talking to an one time because I did two sessions with her. And I was telling her about my axe, and I’ll never forget, she said this one thing, and it still sticks in my mind to this day. She goes, Okay, so you told me all this stuff. And he told me the things that he did, because you know, you unpack your relationship with her and like, kind of like, how they’re acting even when you are speaking to them again. She’s like, Do you think he’s good enough for you? And I was like,

Chris Seiter 51:20
I No one’s ever asked me that before.

Lee 51:24
You think he is worthy of you? She’s like, cuz I’m talking to you. And you seem amazing. But like, Do you think he’s actually worth it? And I literally sat there and I was like, you, you are a godsend, like, you know what, you’re right. Like, you’re, you’re totally right. You know, like, she’s like, you want to get them back? And I’m back. And she’s like, Do you really think he’s worth it? I mean, when someone breaks up with you like that’s, that’s a lot, there are a lot and like, I one thing I will say like instead of impulsively saying you want to get them back, like take some time and write a pros and cons list out and really unpack your relationship and why it went to that direction. Because when you see it in front of you, you’re like a, like, you know what I mean? Yeah,

Chris Seiter 52:06
we have a tendency to not remember, we only kind of remember those two distinct points, you know, the really important exciting moments. And then we remember a lot of the end when it went wrong, but we don’t remember all the other stuff in between. And when you kind of add it all up, it’s, it’s a little horrifying. To see it all there.

Lee 52:25
Yeah. And that’s why like, when you and I were talking about it, like, just take your time, and like really get to know yourself again, because like this program, once again, like in reintroduce you, you know, you to yourself into such a beautiful, independent version of you. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I remember being like, you know, the financial part of the Trinity, like, I got my, like, I, this is the most I’ve ever made in my life. And I don’t think I would have thought about it that way, if you didn’t highlight that, like, you know what I mean? Like, that’s really important.

Chris Seiter 52:58
I think I think it all kind of bleeds in. Like the Trinity specifically, like every aspect kind of has this really interesting overlap with all the other aspects. But the financial part of things it just makes, it makes life easier and makes you feel like you should not put you should not gain value for monetary value. You should not be like, Oh, I make this more important. But there’s a little bit of that, honestly, if you’re it feels like wow, wow, look how much I can make if I really set my mind. You know, it kind of gives you that confidence, which in turn, plays into relationships because you feel like well, you know what, I don’t need a man or I don’t need this or I don’t need this person. I don’t need a pendant on on a house for them.

Lee 53:43
The level of security when you actually put yourself first is like it’s astounding, like, and it’s just amazing, because when I like when I started dating after the program, ever, like, out of all the guys, I was dating, every single one thing that every single man would say about me was was like, I can never, I never know what you’re thinking. And you’re by far the hardest woman to read. And I give so much and that’s what I think made a lot of the guys like stick around and like want to see where it was going. Because like, you know, in the program, it teaches you to like like really be that. Don’t put your don’t put everything on the table immediately. Like, don’t tell them like oh my god, you’re amazing after one day, or like text them good morning immediately. Like, let them know that you’re fully vested. Like you have to remember that like, once again, they’re just as lucky to have you. So like, it’s just so funny because sometimes, like my boyfriend even will say he’s like, I still don’t know what you’re thinking half the time and I’m like, eventually you will. But you’re gonna have to work for that. Like, you know, and I mean, no, I

Chris Seiter 54:48
think I think what men really like is they like to see hidden layers and hidden depths to women. So if they what happens a lot of times to your point is when we come to the table, they’re like, here’s everything. Here’s everything. And it’s interesting It can be interesting at first, especially if there’s like a lot of, but once you kind of know everything, it’s kind of like, That’s it, there’s like an inherent like that that’s kind of disappointing and they lose interest. But if you do it your way, which is like

Lee 55:15
there’s, like, your videos are so good and I like just listened to it, like you literally say, like men are predators. So regardless of how long you’re in a relationship, like you always have to make further like, the you’re giving them a little bit of a challenge. And it’s like, I remember one time, the texting bubbles, like the you’re in the blue, like, you don’t want to be in the blue, like, like it needs to be. I carry those things, even though I know this person’s like fully invested in me. And they’ve said, like, I want to spend my life with people.

Chris Seiter 55:45
Last, I knew that with everyone I talked to except maybe my wife, but we hardly ever text anymore. Because we live together. I see her every day. But every other person and you know, family excluded, but every other person like even business wise, I’m always paying attention to that ratio, like making sure it’s one to one. You never want to seem overeager, especially when you’re negotiating things.

Lee 56:09
No, no. And like, just like, like, I remember, like, you know, like you explaining, like the texting and like you shouldn’t be texting them all day, like, like, you need to be going off and doing your things. Because then there’s nothing to talk about, like, you know, like, you have to actually be doing your own thing and being invested in your life instead of waiting for that next text. Because the minute like you let go, and just like you go off and like do your own thing. Like, it’s amazing. Like, that’s when the text comes like that’s when like, you know people, bro, like, you know what I mean?

Chris Seiter 56:41
Yeah, design designer exists totally space, it’s only when you give that person space that they actually miss you. And that’s the hard thing for a lot of people.

Lee 56:52
But like, and once again, the Trinity is what helps you develop that confidence to give space. Because like, once again, the goal is for you to be comfortable alone, like, I can go and sit at my house all weekend, without a significant other without my phone without someone reaching out to me, I’ll feel whole at the end of the day, because I know who I am as a person.

Chris Seiter 57:14
Now many people, you know, know, especially nowadays,

Lee 57:19
and like find beauty in the silence and find beauty and like just like being like with yourself. It’s so nice, because like you we all forget this. Like, once we’re in a relationship, it’s you know, you’re you’re going with somebody else, you’re going on vacations with them again, you’re doing things all the time, holidays, you know. So it’s like, embrace the time that you actually can be alone, because that’s really when like, you really can do that self assessment and that like alright, am I actually, am I actually? Is this still me? And that’s the biggest thing that I also ask myself all the time. Like, if I’m at any point in this relationship, not being myself, then it’s not working.

Chris Seiter 57:59
I mean, you can’t argue with the results. Seems like the results have been really great for you across the board. Not only did you get your ex back, but you basically found someone still on the 90 day trial, but almost there seems seems like a really great fit seems like it’s going really well seems like it’s kind of easy. You’re Are you? So last question during this. So it’s not related to breakups. It’s actually more the 90 day trial idea because I think this is genius. So are you are you allowing yourself to be fully vulnerable with them? Like, are you opening up about like things that you’ve never told anyone before with him? Or she you are, you’re allowing yourself to do that during the 90 day trial, you’re not holding yourself back for?

Lee 58:41
Like, you can’t not be yourself like, you know what I mean? And it’s amazing, because in relationships, there were so many times where I held myself back from being like, Oh, I don’t want to tell them about this. Or this. Yes, yeah. And I was like, You know what, full speed ahead. Like, just be yourself. And like, if it’s not gonna work, I would rather know now than later.

Chris Seiter 59:02
Yeah, that’s kind of the approach I I think is the best approach. But people are so often worried about what other people think that they prevent themselves from being vulnerable, especially if you have black sheep in the closet, and you’re like, I don’t know how they’re going to take this. Sometimes it’s always better just to say like, Hey, this is it. This is it. If you don’t like it, whatever, that’s fine. Oh,

Lee 59:23
interesting. Because I told it, you know, I, I used to be like, kind of a little bit of like, a challenge. And I, you know, used to like, I used to be like kind of a little bit of a badass, I made a lot of mistakes in the past. And I would always be like, try and hide it. And then I was like, You know what? This person’s gonna know about it. Eventually. I just got it. I gotta, you know, this is it.

Chris Seiter 59:48
And that has worked out. Great. I just wanted to say thank you for coming on. This is one of my favorite interviews ever. I’m in trying to push this out soon. Yeah, it was amazing. I feel like There’s one quote weirdly enough that sticks with me is you need to find the beauty in silence. I think there’s something to that mindset there that that I want to I want to explore especially like when I’m, I’m going to refer to this interview and articles when I’m writing articles because like you have the essence of really, ug, my ungettable. That’s what we’re looking for.

Lee 1:00:24
Like, watching your videos for you

Chris Seiter 1:00:27
did it? I didn’t do anything.

Lee 1:00:29
I’m not kidding. Like, it’s so funny because like, if you look at my subscriptions, like you’re the top like, there’s no other dating video that’s

Chris Seiter 1:00:36
shocking to me that you do that because I like looking at subscriptions. I’m like, why would anyone ever want to subscribe to my to my channel, but I love hearing it.

Lee 1:00:45
Yeah. And you know, there’s still times in my relationship where I’ll reference your videos.

Chris Seiter 1:00:49
That’s great. I need to do more like relationship based videos, and try to branch out to that into that space. But again, Lee, this was an amazing interview. Thank you so much for coming on sharing your story. inspiring women. I don’t know what Sam I’m speechless. Yeah. Thanks.

Lee 1:01:10
Hey. Yeah, hopefully it works out for them. I hope so. Me too.