Six Ways To Know If You Are Close To Getting Your Ex Back- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

177 thoughts on “The Six Ways To Know If You Are Close To Getting Your Ex Back?”

hi

July 20, 2016 at 4:32 pm

Hi I think my comment got deleted or something, but basically my ex and I have been broken up since 2014 and have been nc since then. He contacted me a few weeks ago and asked me out on a date last week, where we went to the movies and then to a special park in our neighborhood. He later told me that he really missed me and that he was thinking of getting back together with me. We later ended up kissing and doing other stuff but no sex cause i told him i wouldn’t. Do you think I messed up by kissing and stuff? Also how should i approach this situation as in how do i build more attraction? We texted for a few days after the date but he stopped replying on Monday. Please help me with this situation. Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 21, 2016 at 2:45 pm

Hi h

sorry, I just havent reachednyour comment yet.. continue your own activities..let him breathe from texting and then initiate of after 3 or 4 days he still hasn’t texted you yet

Didou

July 14, 2016 at 11:19 pm

Please please please help me
I think I ruined all. I told him that I did mistakes I wasn’t aware I was in a coma. And then I start blaming him because he don’t want marry and he slept with me.so I can’t get marry with other man.and that he ruined my life. So I told him to forget me
And now after he was talking about his love and passion I told him that.and it left only 15 days to back home so w can meet.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 15, 2016 at 3:43 pm

Hi didou,

actually it looks like you’ve been just chasing him since the break up and then expecting him to get engaged with you again even if there’s not much rapport.. and we have to be honest.. it also looks like you’ve not improved to the level of being independent and having your own life.. how many other dates have you been in?

fiona

July 13, 2016 at 7:31 am

Hi Amor,thankyou for taking the time to reply.I appreciate it!
I guess what it all comes down to is what you say, working on own improvement..and leaving him be to do what he feels is best for him..I can feel the urge of wanting to control the outcome and that is that we are a couple again..but it just doesn’t work that way!and yes..standards..I remember when I was in the relationship that the fact that his basic self care was so destructive and messy was the reason for me wanting out..because there was no space or attention for my and my daughters needs.
Thanks again!
Didou

July 12, 2016 at 10:12 pm

Hi
Today we Talked and we he told that he misses me and that he knows that I do and I can’t hate him. And he start talking about his feelings and that he is with me and can feel every part of me.so I told him that I miss him too bug I can’t let my self feel like that and express my feelings. He said that everything thing is on his time is good. And he will talk when he can about our relationship. So I don’t know if I have to start the no contact? Or keep in touch with him by texting till he came back home the end of the month ( he works on an other country) he ask me if I don’t mind having coffee with him and have lunch. What should I do??

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2016 at 4:13 pm

Hi Didou,
continue to buid rapport but don’t open up relationship talks and continue to busy with your life

fiona

July 11, 2016 at 5:47 am

Hi there!my ex and i broke up 5months ago from having a 6year very intense relationship.I still feel deeply for him.I am doing very well for myself since the breakup getting my driving license my business is going good and feel generally happy and stable.I heat and know he is not doing well.He isolates himself smokes plays war games can’t sleep and just feels generally low and down.This is not new he was always like this.While I have grown and become more grounded and positive he has stayed in the same place but misses me also deeply and loves me very much.I saw him last night when i was out.He said heknew he would see me misses me and said maybe we will get back together and if we are meant to be it will happen.He followed me round all night and cried on my shoulder how much he loves me.It was again very intense and open.I am not sure what to do now.I want the next step to come from within himself as I need that as a woman but at the same time I know he is stuck in a bad place and has never been a go getter or someone who takes initiative he is very feminine in his emotional world.So…what do you guys think?I am 42 have a daughter of 17 (not his child) and have always chosen men who don’t really chase me or show in their actions that they want me.I am working hard on being the ‘ungettable girl’ but i also just want to sray authentic..thankyou so much fro letting me share my story!!love Fiona

fiona

July 12, 2016 at 12:39 pm

Thanks for your question but I really have no idea futher what is the best thing to do..
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 6:34 pm

because when you said you want to stau authentic, it’s like you were saying you just want to keep talking to him..

basically the best option is to stay in improving yourself and the decision for him to change is only upto him.. you can only assess what your standards are.. keeping being present doesn’t help him as well
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 11:23 am

Hi Fiona,

i’m sensing you want to say anothet thing about what you wanted to do…

what do you have in mind?

Rayehe

July 10, 2016 at 8:41 pm

hey, I learned a lot of new things thanks. I always tried to keep my boyfriend longer on our dates because it was hard for me to leave and go home and he instead of being excited about me attracted to him he always complained our dates don’t let him hang out with his family and friends! while we went on our dates once a week, 6-7 hours were long for him! he was always busy with work and his own problems that he didn’t have time to call me sometimes for days. it was difficult for me to wait but I always waited and he always appreciated it. but it’s about two weeks he has broken up with me and turned to an ex for me. I obeyed the no contact rule since we broke up. he called me once but I didn’t hang up. now it looks he is no where. not begging to win me back, not apologizing, not even being sorry, what the hell ! does he have a heat at all? were those good words just lies? he always kept telling me how happy and peaceful is with me, he even thanked God for having me the last time we met. I’m lonely with good memories and it huts. we weren’t even a fighting couple. good memories are much more than bad ones and make it impossible to move on! help me out please.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 10, 2016 at 9:28 pm

Hi Rayehe,

nc just for two weeks? too short and you have to start improving yourself too and maintaining the activities you started during nc even after it.. since he’s in a rebound, he would really not chase you after two weeks.. you have to be the ungettable girl first..
read this article:
The Ungettable Girl

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 10, 2016 at 8:40 pm

ok.. then you have to stop treating him like an injured baby and then start active no contact..he will keep on stringing you along because he sees you’re taking the bait on him being depressed.. if he really wants something to change, you need to stop being his excuse crutch and he needs to go to therapy and take action
Maria

July 9, 2016 at 10:40 pm

Hi,
Would just like to know if it’s OK of my ex and I go on two dates in one week?

Meet up for a first date for an hour or so, then later in the week go on a date that involves some adrenaline… It’s just we are both into sport and have said we will do something together soon, whilst on the phone If and when it comes up on first date, I’m wondering if it would be a good idea to set a date for the weekend? It would just be him and I.
Im positive things are going well. But I really don’t want to undo all the good work.
Also, wanted to ask – I am trying my hardest to end phone convos as quick as possible, they are at max 20 mins and full of talking and laughing. But when I say I have to go, he will instinctively bring up another subject.
Is this good? Or is he trying to take control? Everything else is very much positive currently.
Thank you

Maria

July 12, 2016 at 9:51 pm

Thanks for your reply.
I don’t plan on asking him.
I am letting him make all the moves really as it was him who broke it off with me.
So you don’t think the way the convos on the phone are, is an issue? Also, I feel like the texting has phased out now… We don’t txt hardly as much. Although we are both very busy and talk about what we’ve been up to in our phone convos – is this normal?
Thanks.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2016 at 4:06 pm

yup..it’s like you’ve moved on to phone convos now
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 10, 2016 at 8:01 pm

Hi Maria,

yeah it’s ok but don’t expect too much too soon.. I mean, don’t ask him right after the second date if you can be back together and also be careful on going too fastfor now and giving it all thus killing the fire early too..

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2016 at 5:51 pm

Hi Didou,

I’m just wondering if.you’ve read my reply to your other comment?
if he’s says he still loves you then why not just get back together?
Didou

July 8, 2016 at 5:43 pm

Hi

My fiancé drive me crazy when we talk,I can’t understand. He tell me how much he loves me, misses me and he don’t even feel guilty by his decision of breakup , he seems depressed he just sleep and go to work. No friends, he express how life is unfair and he is too good person that nobody appreciate that and he was dumped by life.he even can’t understand why my sister don’t talk to him because they were best friends… So things are complicated and I don’t know what to do. I m afraid that he will not ask me to be with him. Because he sometimes talk about me like if he can be with me when he feel depressed and he can talk to me and touch me in his imagination and his soul. Today he told me that he wants to cry but can’t. I don’t know what should I do?? I’m so confused , should I show him my understanding and my love?? Should I make him feel that I support him??

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2016 at 12:00 pm

Hi Didou,

encourage him but don’t tolerate him.. push him to go out and make himself better.. be a friend for now

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 7, 2016 at 5:48 pm

you can’t be angry when you’re trying to build rapport with him..

I remember you’ve been commenting on other articles too.. get back with them and review Chris’ advices because they can help a lot.
Noname

July 7, 2016 at 6:29 am

Hello, my ex broke up with me almost three months ago, we are living from different countries and after being together for 3 months (2living together and 1 long distance) he broke up with me. I’ve beeb trying to get him back knowing that we will see each other again in December. He has blocked me four times, the first one was when he broke it off (Facebook it our only way of communication) and it was entirely messages and profile so there was no way we could talk, then I would message his sister til she convinced me to unblock me a week later, the other times he blocked me were only messages, till the fourth time he blocked me completely again and literally a minute passed and he unblocked again, but we were no longer friends on fb, I could still send him messages though, so I kept on doing it for two days saying on the last message that we would be together again, after reading that he blocked messages but hasn’t blocked the profile. So I could send a friend request if I wanted to. My question is, after saying so many times that he doesn’t want a relationship, he doesn’t want me anymore and that he hated being with me, why would throughout the 3 months after breaking up he would keep answering my messages (of course not the way he used to talk to me when we were together) but I mean, if he really wants me out of his life and hated being in a relationship with me then why didn’t he just block me forever? Should o still have hope in this longing? Is there any way I can get him back? In case he doesn’t unblock messages this time should I send a friend request, and when would be a good time? it’s been a week since the last time we talked. In case he never unblocks me what should I do? And I was planning on showing up on his door in December when I got there. What do you think?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 7, 2016 at 5:25 pm

Hi No name,

don’t do that.. you would appear like a crazy ex girlfriend if you just suddenly showed up.. Yes, he answered but what if he’s just being civil? You should check this post out: YOU DESPERATELY BEGGED FOR HIM BACK AND FAILED… I’M HERE TO FIX THAT

Naomi

July 6, 2016 at 8:36 pm

My ex and I broke up about 4 months ago. We were together for 2 months, we did no contact the whole time and even though we go to the same high school I made sure not to be in places he would see me, (he’s a senior and I’m a junior) in May when we got back in contact, he told me that he’s been trying to say hi to me but that I would ignore him. At the time I had actually lost hope of reconciliation and was just focusing on myself and schoolwork so I was never looking at him hoping he would finally talk to me. When we got back in contact, as we were texting he told me that the whole time we were broken up, he wasn’t ignoring me on purpose, he just felt that we had to stop talking for a while because he thought I was going to tell him that I love him, but when I reassured him that I wasn’t ready for that, We both came to an understanding. He even told me that he still has pictures of us in his phone, we hung out the for the first since the breakup and the problem was that it lead to sex, I realized my mistake in the end and kept my distance from him for a while. On the last day of school, we ran into each other as I was going to get me some lunch and he wanted to hang out with me, he even started asking me if I had any regents tests to take during the week so that he could pick me up and we could hang out. This time when we hung the second time, it didn’t lead to sex but he kept hugging me and grabbing my butt and kissing me. He’s not the type of guy to lead me on or play with my emotions, he did tell me that he wasn’t trying to go back out with me because he was about to graduate, But his actions tell me something else, like he does want to get back together like he kisses me, hugs me, wants to hang out, he brings up memories of us and tries to hang out with me. I just want to know why he kept my number and pictures of us, was trying to say hi to me. Wouldn’t it be pointless to keep my number if he’s not trying to get together with me? I feel like it may be pointless that he contacted me now knowing that he’s graduating, when we broke up even his friends told me how stupid he was for breaking up with me. I’m just so confused, why is saying that he’s not trying to get with me when his actions say something else? He has a lot of friends so I doubt he’s using me as an ego boost and he doesn’t like the thought of hurting a girl by playing her. I just don’t understand, I don’t wanna get my hopes up for nothing.

Naomi

July 20, 2016 at 4:02 am

I’m not sure if that’s what he’s trying to do to be honest. In our high school, there are many girls that will open their legs without a doubt so I feel like if he just wanted sex he would’ve went to those girls instead of me, it wouldn’t make any sense to me if he was trying to be friends w/ benefits considering he just graduated. I kinda feel that his efforts up to this point would really be pointless if that was really what he was after this whole time
Naomi

July 13, 2016 at 11:56 am

I don’t want to be friends with benefits, and doesn’t Chris not recommend being friends with benefits with an ex? If that’s really what he’s trying to do this whole time that would be very much pointless and impossible to do because by now he just graduated high school and I got to do my senior year next year….
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2016 at 5:06 pm

Oh, i didn’t mean it as a suggestion! sorry, it’s an answer to your why. I meant what if that’s what’s he’s trying to do
Naomi

July 13, 2016 at 3:15 am

I don’t want to be friends with benefits, and doesn’t Chris recommended not being friends with benefits with an ex if your trying to get them back?
Naomi

July 11, 2016 at 8:41 pm

He even told me that he still has the pictures of us when we were together in his phone, I asked him why he hadn’t deleted them and he said it was because they were memories and that he never deletes memories. I just don’t know what he’s thinking, but like I asked before if he’s not trying to go back out with me then doesn’t that make his actions for getting my attention and trying to initiate contact with me very much pointless and a waste of time, even in knowing that he was going to graduate soon he was still persistant in trying to initiate contact with me. Why?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 1:46 pm

Hi Naomi,
how about being friends with benefits?
Naomi

July 11, 2016 at 7:59 pm

He did say that if I’m free over the summer then I could contact him to hang out. On the Fourth of July I sent a text to him saying Happy Fourth of July but it’s been left on delivered so I don’t know if he ever got it or if he’s just ignoring it. I understand that the process of getting an ex back is slow but he’s been giving me mixed signals ever since we got back in contact and I can’t tell if he’s trying to get back together with me or not. But if he’s not, it would really make his actions for trying to get my attention to be very much pointless and a waste of his time since I originally gave up hope for reconciliation after the breakup and ignored him all those times he tried to say hi to me. But if he told me that he wasn’t trying to go back out with me so that he wouldn’t lead me on then why would he kiss me and touch me during our first hangout since the breakup and try so hard to get my attention all those times after no contact?
Naomi

July 6, 2016 at 8:49 pm

When we got back in contact he even told me that he misses me. When he told me that he thought that we had to stop talking for a while that kinda made me think that he did the nc on me and I hadn’t even realized that until now. So if he really did the nc on me, could that possibly mean that he was hoping for a reconciliation after the nc was over. Because I figured that since we had only dated for 2 months he would get over me but ever since we got back in contact a lot of the things he told me and has done with me since we hung out makes me think that he’s not over me yet. I just want to be absolutely sure about his actions on whether or not he wants to be with me. Help
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 7, 2016 at 3:28 pm

hi Naomi,

you have to just go woth the flow for now to see what his true intentions are..if he still pursues you after graduation then that’s different

Lily

July 6, 2016 at 3:11 am

Question: How can the no contact rule be effective when my ex boyfriend has no social media? He’s not on IG, FB, twitter, etc.
We were together 5+ years but broke up a week ago after a big argument..said he didn’t want to marry me. That stung. Even if the nc works, what’s to say that he’ll ever feel like I’m actually the one? I can do nc no problem…the issue is that even after a month I’m not very confident he’ll even reach out.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2016 at 9:46 am

Hi Lily,

he’ll miss you and that’s the only way to check what you’ve been doing.. if it’s a general breakup then there’s a good chance he’ll miss you

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2016 at 10:54 pm

Hi A little too late,

do 45 days and don’t send the gift.. are you actively improving yourself physically, emotionally and socially? if he sees your posts would he think you have moved on and changed for the better?

you have to treat it as a restart after nc..
and read this posts: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)
Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend
Emma

July 3, 2016 at 8:15 pm

Hi Amor!
I’ve left a few comments on this site previously as my situation changes. It’s now been almost four months since my breakup with my long term boyfriend. I had an almost immediate no contact period for one month after the breakup, then got back into contact with him. In that NCP, he started dating his best friend (I would accuse this of being a rebound but since they were already quite close I think it could be serious). I really have improved myself over time, and even he has commented how proud he is of how I’ve developed. I even went on a tinder date, which my ex expressed jealousy over. My ex initiates contact with me every day via messages and over snapchat – even being quite flirty and reminiscing over our time together. He always denies having a girlfriend by saying that they just went on a few dates. All of this sounds like he wants a second chance, but when I proposed a date, he was reluctant. It’s all very confusing, and I don’t know what to do. What do you think my next steps are?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 4, 2016 at 8:56 pm

Hi Emma,

what do you mean by date? as in you asked for a date? there was not enough rapport when you asked it, you have to build rapport and attraction first theb maybe start with a group hang out first

Joy

July 2, 2016 at 1:10 am

I broke up with my boyfriend in Dec last year. He got in touch again in Feb this year and we began talking again. Things was going well with him initiating most texts, but without initaiting meetup. So the whole “he likes me, but not that into me” insecurity that led to me breaking up with initially, and i texted him to ask him what expectations should i have before the meetup. His reply was he dont know because i broke up with him and we havent seen each other for a long time and we should meet as friends for the 1st time n see how things go. I start to get upset as i had expectations and things start spiralling down since. The last we met is in Apr but we have still been texting randomly..what am i supposed to do now?

Joy

July 5, 2016 at 2:22 pm

Thanks Amor. After the not ideal 1st date in April, I thought things was over between us. I was overseas for work for 2 weeks and he didnt initate any text during that time. I took it that he doesnt want to work things out anymore, so i admitted to him that I was not good at handling negative emotions. I usually just keep quiet when I am angry. He was surprised to find out that I was upset during our first date and we have sort of a”quarrel” over text. Especially after I mentioned i was surprised he didnt pick up i was quiet. He said something like “it is just no very easy to readjust his vision after the facts, but he will try to be more flexible with”. We agree is too complicated a conversation to have by text and will meet to talk. But i didnt initate a meetup when i m back because I find it too awkward after me kicking up a fuss when i was overseas, he didnt initate as well. Although we are still polite to each other and randomly text, we grew more n more distanced. On top of that, he is an entreprenuer and very stressed with work. I don want to put pressure on him but I don know how to move this forward. I wld greatly appreciate any advice!!!
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2016 at 7:35 am

do nc first.. with his kind of life, demanding anything from him when you’re not even in a relationship yet will just appear as another responsibility for him
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 4, 2016 at 11:25 am

Hi Joy,

i think you’re expecting somethig too soon.. there’s not enough rapport and attraction yet..if ever you meet, it would really be just friendly but you need to take that chance to increase attraction..if you want do nc and then start to improve yourself first before talking to him

Gloria

June 30, 2016 at 5:52 pm

Hi Amor,

I’ve been following this site for awhile. I’m finally at the point where my ex is open to communication with me (he was very angry for months after the breakup). He doesn’t initiate any texts but he does engage with me every time I text him. He responds within minutes and never disappears in a conversation. He’s no longer avoiding me. We talk twice a week, with me initiating.

Chris said to go really slow in rebuilding the attraction and stick with friend stuff for now, but I’m wondering if you can tell me if this means my chances are good and if I’m getting close? I’m afraid to get my hopes up. It could just mean he wants to be friends with me, right…? Am I reading too much into it?

P.S. I tried asking him for a small favor, choosing a new laptop because he loves computers. He helped me pick the best one. Does that count?? Wouldn’t he do that for any friend..

Gloria

July 17, 2016 at 7:07 pm

I tried again today and this time our convo was fine! I think? Please tell me what you think..

We talked for awhile about work, friends, our weekends, etc. I never use jealousy so I wanted to see if I could try it a little in a non-serious way. I’m not dating anyone, but there was a guy (Jim) who liked me for the last couple months; he was obsessed and stalker-ish, and I finally got rid of him this week. So I was telling my ex some of the hilarious parts of the story – making it into a “Listen to this funny thing!” rather than “Let me tell you about a guy and see how you react.” He actually met Jim once, at a group event, where Jim hit on me the entire time. The next morning my ex messaged me on Facebook (he never initiates!!). He also asked our mutual friend about Jim. Pretty sure he was jealous!! Anyways, we’re talking and he said Jim tried to add him on Facebook “probably to spy on me because he knows I used to date you.” I said Jim was jealous of my ex and my ex thought that was HILARIOUS and said he’d never been in that position, where the other guy is jealous of him. I explained Jim called him a jerk, and my ex said “We had our falling out and at some points I was probably more mean than I should’ve been.”

I know we’re strictly supposed to not mention the past relationship, but THAT is the first time my ex has acknowledged his behavior post-BU (calling me names, lying about what happened, etc. because he was really angry)(the breakup was my fault and Chris agrees he totally had a right to be p’ed off!). So is that a good thing???

I asked, “Were you jealous when Jim was hitting on me?” My ex said, “Not really? I immediately knew what was going on, so I was like, oh okay.” But since he messaged me conveniently the very next day AND asked our mutual friend about Jim, it seems pretty obvious he WAS jealous. Why wouldn’t he admit it to me?

Is it possible for him to be jealous of another potential guy but still not have any feelings left for me? I can’t figure out if he cares or not! I need a way to test whether I’m in the friend zone, UGH! What do you think?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2016 at 1:48 pm

because it’s not manly for guys to admit they’re jealous, especially that you’re not together anymore.. but those are good signs..keep it up but try to go out with other friends too
Gloria

July 13, 2016 at 2:27 am

I waited a couple days and texted him. He responded right away, as usual, but this time no emoticons, quite a few one-word answers. I asked him what he was doing and he said not much just browsing the net, so he wasn’t busy. After a bit he ended the conversation and said he had to go, “ttyl.” Was it just bad timing – maybe he was tired – or did I do something wrong? I feel like every time something goes really well and it seems to be going in the right direction, he pulls back like this. Like he’s scared of falling for me again or something, so after a really positive interaction like the dinner, now I get this neutral one.

Amor, what do I do now??
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2016 at 4:50 pm

either it was bsd timing or the topic is not interesting for him
Gloria

July 9, 2016 at 5:22 am

I’ve got news! He’s not coming to tomorrow’s party, BUT he came to dinner tonight with me and a few of our mutual friends. Our friend Steve invited him (and told me in advance so I was prepared). I think it was good?? We chatted a bunch during dinner, made a few jokes – he suggested a few shows he thinks I should watch, we discussed mutual friend gossip. He mentioned a certain food, and I referenced a fun vacation we’d taken where we tried it for the first time. “Good memories” technique. 🙂 I made sure to keep eye contact, play with my hair, keep an open stance – all of the subconscious flirting techniques they say to do. But I also tried to be cool and not obvious. Then at the end we all went outside. One by one they left until it was just us two because he was trying to catch a Pokemon (PokemonGO). He finally caught it and then said he had to get going (it was almost 11pm), and hugged me goodbye. It wasn’t an intimate hug, more brief like how you’d hug a new friend; I could tell he was being cautious, but HEY it’s improvement, right? That’s physical contact! He ended with, “Have fun at the party!” and I said, “Have fun at *his event*!” and we headed home.

So in your opinion, did it go well / did I do a good job? Do you think I’m building rapport slowly but surely? Now what? When should I text him again?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2016 at 5:05 pm

yes,.you did good! try to rexy him after party
Gloria

July 6, 2016 at 5:14 pm

I just found out he’s going to come to a party hosted by mutual friends on Saturday. I’m excited! This means I’ll get to show off being the UG in person instead of just over text.

Obviously I’ll make sure my appearance is on point. How should I act when I see him? Flirty? Aloof? How much attention do I give him? What do I do if he flirts with another girl at the party?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 7, 2016 at 2:55 pm

act normal.. relax..don’t overthink.. if you bump into each other, talk to him.. if not have fun.. if he flirts, just be cool
Gloria

July 5, 2016 at 9:01 pm

Thank you! I read it. I don’t think another NC is the way to go. It’s been 10 months post-BU and I’ve done 3 separate NCs already. He never contacts me during them. If I stop messaging him now, that’ll be it. Our breakup was complicated, but we can just treat it like cheating to keep it simple. I know I can’t expect him to come running back to me, lol. I have to put in most of the effort, which is fine, and which is what I’ve been doing. With that article, it says to take away his emotional support – but I don’t think he leans on me for any support right now. After the breakup, he was so mad that he just stopped speaking to me for months. So yeah, NC doesn’t work on this guy. He definitely needs “a little push” – or a BIG push! I think if I said “We can’t be friends” he’d be like “Ok.” Unfortunately.

I know this is a tough situation. Anything else (subtle) I can do to make myself a love interest rather than a friend besides the teasing?? If this was any other guy, I’d go full on flirting and be sexy and all that, but my ex would see right through it and KNOW I was trying to get him back. He would know he has me hooked still. Ugh!
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2016 at 9:12 am

hmm aim to be the ungettable girl while maintaining contact with him
Gloria

July 4, 2016 at 12:48 am

Oh okay! Yes, I’ve been doing the playful teasing thing. Since it’s not quite time for me to ask him to hang out in person yet (haven’t built enough rapport for that), can you please share some other “tests” I can do to see if I’m getting close or making improvement? Besides the small favor, since I tried that one. I also switch up the days I text him but he still answers regardless of the day. What else can I do to test and make sure I’m not friend-zoned?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 4, 2016 at 9:16 pm

hmm.. I think you need to read this one:
EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend
Gloria

July 1, 2016 at 7:02 pm

Sooo how do I tell if he’s done that then? Seems to be conflicting information here from you guys. :/ On the one hand, I can’t flirt or give him extra attention or he’ll know I still want him. On the other hand, if I just act like his friend then I get friendzoned? Am I missing something – what am I supposed to do? 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 3, 2016 at 2:30 pm

flirting is ok.. the extra attention is not.. when you flirt,.it’s like you’re being playful with him.. but don’t be all over him.. tease a little, pull a little.. keep him gusssing
Gloria

July 1, 2016 at 4:13 pm

Yes, I’m still active and doing everything I’ve started since NC. I have plans every weekend, I maintain a wide circle of friends, spend time on my hobbies, I did the makeover thing, I hit the gym 4-5 days a week. I’m literally the best possible version of myself that I can be. How can I build on this new friendliness from him? How can I make it something more? I’m afraid to openly flirt with him or something – that would be too obvious, haha!

By the way, if it helps, we’re in our mid-20s and were together two years so we have plenty of history together. If I’m supposed to stick with friend topics for now (per Chris’s direction), how do I keep from being “just a friend”?

Is it really possible for him to talk to me twice a week and not catch feelings?? 😛 Seems like he should fall for me just like he did before…
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 1, 2016 at 6:21 pm

if he friendzoned you, he can even talk everyday without falling again
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 1, 2016 at 1:25 pm

Hi Gloria,

well as of now, that looks like he’s just being friendly but you can build that.. are you still being active with your life right now? continuing to maintain yourself?

Insight Please

June 25, 2016 at 11:51 pm

Hi!

So, my ex and I have gone on two dates (one just us, one group). We also met up once for a short walk when he asked if I wanted to meet up before class. Also, I’ve been working on being the ungettable girl and have also been texting asking for his advice and help from him with silly things (aka NOT major life decisions) because I feel like I’ve been friendzoned.

A couple days ago, my ex was very stressed about school (we’re both at university). We weren’t in the midst of a conversation, and he texted me a long text about his worries and how he’s not sure what to do. During our relationship, I always acted super anxious and worried a lot myself. Anyways, I’m coping with my anxiety and I want him to see I have changed. So, I waited a bit and then replied very simply, not getting too involved or anxious but just saying he should try to focus on the present for now.

I’m just wondering why he texted me about his worries? Since we’ve broken up, he’s always acted like school’s going super well, etc. Lately, he’s been coming to me when things don’t work out. But this time around, I’m not getting super involved or overly helpful because I don’t want to sound like his mother. But just wondering what this could mean and what I should do to get him attracted to me since he keeps coming to me when he’s upset?

Insight Please

June 29, 2016 at 2:28 am

Hi Amor,

Yes, based on our interactions and how I know him, I do think he texts me out of bordedom/to brag and also to use me for emotional support.

How should I react if this happens again to make him attracted to me instead of just using me?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2016 at 4:13 pm

oh check this post out: How To Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Is Using You
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 28, 2016 at 11:31 am

HI Insight please,

he might be using you as an emotional support.. check this post out too: What Does It Mean When My Ex Randomly Texts Me?

Didou

June 25, 2016 at 2:31 am

Hi
My ex fiancé is talking with me now and he tell me how much he loves me and the good feelings that share with me.he talks about spiritual love. That makes me mad and sad so I did a mini no contact. He text me and call me several times my phone was shut down. After that when I contact him he was so excited happy that I talk with him and he star asking me about what I was doing during the days I desepeared. I start changing subject. He ask me again and again and I told him that he will know what I was doing. He told me that he feels like there’s limits between us when I say that… I was angry and sad so I told him not to describe his feelings again. And I hate to talk much because things become with no meaning. 🙁 please help me to know how to deal with him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 28, 2016 at 10:18 am

HI Didou,

why do you want him to feel that way?

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