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Rita
May 13, 2017 at 9:35 pm
Hi, I met this guy through instagram and we got talking for over a year on and off – he lived 2 hours away – I was never interested in him eventhough he showed a great deal of interest in me – always putting the effort to call and text – 1 year later i decided to give him a chance in getting to know him i gave him a considerable amount of attention and it was mutual. We met 1 month later and i liked him alot more than I initially thought. He isnt the type to express his feelings much but he felt sort of uncomfortable meeting me often because he felt that i was ‘too much’ for him – was overprotective of myself… we finally met again after 11 months afyer discussing it many times and had a great day.. now 3 months later we wanted to meet again but it wasnt planned properly and i cancelled last minute.. he went mad at me for that and two days later told me about how he really felt .. said that hed never back out from meeting a girl apart from me.. that hurt.. alot.. but i didnt show it. I just negociated as he kept saying it isnt going to work.. i told him that i never minded going down to see him often and that he should of told me how he felt from the beggining as it was basically a waste of my time. I then said it was genuinely nice knowing you and he quickly replies ‘we don’t have to stop talking’ i said what do you want.. he said friends.. what does this mean in a guy! i havent been in contact for a week and dont plan to until he does.. help please
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 14, 2017 at 4:12 pm
that’s normal than an ex wants to be friends because they’re still used to talking to you but doesn’t want to get back together.. do you want to try the advice above?
J
May 11, 2017 at 7:14 am
Helloo remember me ! Its been more than a month about 50 days of NC and I recently found out my ex has a new girlfriend but he is still away in military service. I also found out he deleted all our pics together on everything as well. I controlled him in our relationship so badly and now i do think its over. Like i know now the relationship is over but obv i want to get back with him sometime down the future. Do you think i have a chance still? When i was the needy controlling ex gf and he finally had enough of me
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 11, 2017 at 8:14 pm
Hi J,
I remember you! Stick to your 1 or 2 year nc.. if you really want to get him back.. don’t beg ever
Adriey
May 10, 2017 at 10:29 am
am/was (cos I’m not sure anymore) in a LDR with this guy for over 2 years. We met in the university during our first year in 2009. we got talking but never got to date. we lost contacts for almost 5 years and we started talking again on Facebook in 2014. Then we started dating, all this time we were in two different cities. throughout the LDR, I visited him almost 6 times, and he visited only once. we had a quarrel in march and I apologized and he said he’d forgiven me, but he said he had complicated things by getting involved with someone else. He said he needs time to be sure if he wants us back or continue with the new girl. I kept begging him. but I got to this site and I’m confused on what to do. I love him and he still loves me but he thinks the other girl is better off cos she’s closer to him and they get to have sex when we haven’t ever had sex before. I’m quite confused. He says he needs till about end of this month to get to know what will be, I dunno if to start a NC with him or not. I just don’t know what to do. I’m so confused. please help me
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 11, 2017 at 7:56 pm
Start nc.. don’t look like you’re just waiting and doesn’t have your own life..
Steffi
May 7, 2017 at 4:34 am
Hi, we started dating in Feb and then suddenly after 4 days he got a call that he will have to change the city because of his job. He had a month in my city. We made most out of it. We really liked each other but realised that we will be in different cities. We thought we will try long distance, initially it worked like a magic l. It was just perfect as both of us had discussed about putting effort. It was going great for one and a half month when I decided to visit him. Both of us were very excited to finally see each other. We made plans and we were literally counting days when we’ll be together. When I went things were good but when I returned back he suddenly felt that connection was missing. He told me he used to feel more connected on phone and FaceTime and suddenly he feels that vibes are gone. Since there was a distance I couldn’t meet and explain him he stopped communications with me. I tried to give him reasons and told him this will work out just give one chance. He said he’ll give 10 chances but he doesn’t like the distance. He cannot take the distance and he simply walked out of it saying that he will try to get back to my city, if he does we can give it a shot. If it cannot happen then this is over. What should I do in this case. He doesn’t want to be in LDR doesn’t want to talk to me. He still like sleeping me he says but cannot take the distance. Was he just with me for sex?should I wait for him? Can I get him back by no contact rule ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 7, 2017 at 3:26 pm
Hi Steffi,
it’s not a guarantee but you can still try the advice above
Nici
May 6, 2017 at 10:02 am
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2+ years, he is 23 and I am 19. Thing is that I really messed up..we met in December for the first time and overall we had a good time. But then there was this thing about me not telling him important stuff because i was afraid of upsetting him or hurting him. He also felt that I was distant although I don’t think so. Note that this is my first relationship and first time I really got close to a guy, and I’m shy. Now he doubts everything and thinks that I fooled around with him although it is not the case. I simply don’t know what to do and how to approach him now. He completely lost his trust in me because I was not open with him. Any advice?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 6, 2017 at 5:00 pm
first time after 2 years? check this one:
This Is How To Make Him Trust You Again
Emma
May 4, 2017 at 9:44 pm
My ex and I broke up a bit over a month ago and he went back to school. We haven’t contacted each other, I actually told him at one point that if I wanted to contact him I would. Since then, I texted him on his birthday and he responded kindly and wished me happy birthday as well (mine is a few weeks before his) I made no attempt to further the conversation because In a couple of weeks, he’ll come home. I think he hasn’t dealt with the breakup emotionally yet, because of being surrounded by other girls as a newly single guy. But once he’s home, I’m thinking it might suddenly set in that he misses me. Think there’s any truth to this? How likely do you think it is that he’ll contact me, since our relationship mostly ended because of grass is greener complex and distance? He’ll be home all summer and I’m not sure I still want to contact him, but I’m really hoping he’ll try to contact me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 5, 2017 at 4:22 pm
let’s say he contacts you, what happens after summer?
Kim
May 2, 2017 at 9:42 am
I didn’t see my message anymore, so I post it again: He just broke up with me a couple of days ago. Our relationship was so incredibly amazing. We never fought and it was the best relationship I ever had. We were together 9 months before he moved to California for a job (I live in Europe). We decided on me also trying to get a visa and move with him within a year. 3 weeks before he moved away he wanted to break up, because he was afraid getting a workvisa for me was too difficult and that it would only end in tears. I convinced him that we can make it happen and it changed his mind. We were starting to make plans of me coming over for a vacation end of May.
Then he moved away and the LDR started. We were going to wait a couple of weeks (his idea) for me to get a ticket, to see how the first weeks would go by. It was actually really good, no jealousy, we called/facetimed everyday and also texted a lot. He shared all his experiences with me and I with him. The day came that I was going to buy my ticket for my vacation with him, and I was waiting for him to make time so we could do it together. He was very busy (really true) and I got a bit upset because of the time difference. In that conversation he suddenly said: ‘I think it’s best if you don’t buy the ticket anymore’. he broke up, because he didn’t think it would be possible and that his other LDR’s also broke off and he thinks he can’t handle us being apart and that everything is too hard. The LDR didn’t even last a month.
I want him back, because I know this relation is worth fighting for. He loves me a lot, but doesn;t want to conitnue. What do I do? I am not sure if the 30 nc rule works with this situation, because he just doesn’t want me to come visit anymore.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 2, 2017 at 8:10 pm
try it first, if it doesn’t work, then move on.
Kim
May 2, 2017 at 9:19 am
He just broke up with me a couple of days ago. Our relationship was so incredibly amazing. We never fought and it was the best relationship I ever had. We were together 9 months before he moved to California for a job (I live in Europe). We decided on me also trying to get a visa and move with him within a year. 3 weeks before he moved away he wanted to break up, because he was afraid getting a workvisa for me was too difficult and that it would only end in tears. I convinced him that we can make it happen and it changed his mind. We were starting to make plans of me coming over for a vacation end of May.
Then he moved away and the LDR started. We were going to wait a couple of weeks (his idea) for me to get a ticket, to see how the first weeks would go by. It was actually really good, no jealousy, we called/facetimed everyday and also texted a lot. He shared all his experiences with me and I with him. The day came that I was going to buy my ticket for my vacation with him, and I was waiting for him to make time so we could do it together. He was very busy (really true) and I got a bit upset because of the time difference. In that conversation he suddenly said: ‘I think it’s best if you don’t buy the ticket anymore’. I broke up, because he didn’t think it would be possible and that his other LDR’s also broke off and he thinks he can’t handle us being apart and that everything is too hard. The LDR didn’t even last a month.
I want him back, because I know this relation is worth fighting for. He loves me a lot, but doesn;t want to conitnue. What do I do? I am not sure if the 30 nc rule works with this situation, because he just doesn’t want me to come visit anymore.
Kim
May 2, 2017 at 9:21 am
* he broke up
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 2, 2017 at 7:37 pm
it’s not a guarantee that it will work but it’s better to do it than chase him
Ana
May 2, 2017 at 8:36 am
I’ve been in a relationship for five years, two and a half of which is a long distance. I am 25 and he is 23 years old. He said he wanted space and initiated a break up. What I am going to do? I am broke.
Thank you
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 2, 2017 at 7:19 pm
do you want to try the advice above?
Misty
April 28, 2017 at 3:03 pm
My Ex broke up with me 7 months ago. We had communication once in a while within this 7mos period. I can feel that he still likes me and I feel the same way. We were together for 10mos before we broke up. We are in a LDR and we did have a few very short vacations together when we were still together since we are in a different state, we talk almost every day too and the reason for the break up was he can’t handle LDR. We did’t fight.
I did NC for a month and he initiated the message. We barely communicate over the phone. He just always sends messages. Since he says things that confuses me, I sent him a message telling him everything that I feel and to stop playing with my feelings since I am still hurting and that made him not contacting me for at least 2wks.
After 2wks, he sent me a message and for several days even called me and saying sweet things again like “of course I love you”, “I miss you” in a joking way. He called and sent messages for 4 straight days which is not normal since we broke up. After again being silent and no communication with each other for a week, he reached out once more, there was a little sweetness again and said he misses me. He really confuses me. I’m just thinking, why can’t he just tell me what he wants or why he was doing this, giving me mixed messages and being there at the moment then dissappears for days or weeks. It’s him who broke up with me and why should he make me confuse? Or am I just overthinking and giving meaning to what he was doing? I don’t know if he is seeing someone else, we never talk about that. Is it possible that he’s contacting me this way from the time we broke up while he being with someone else? Would you give me your opinion, please?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 11:31 am
it could be ego.. or he could mean he misses you but not enough to want to go back with you, like friendzoning you..
Olivia
April 26, 2017 at 1:14 pm
I broke no contact on the 20th day. 🙁 i thought i was getting better and that i was emotionally ready to talk to him… but turns out i was not. It was a text message saying something i saw and that i know he would have absolutely loved it, but he did not respond. And i shouldn’t have but i called him twice on skype and he did not pick up… I felt so stupid for doing those things especially the skype call because after that my sister told me he posted on social media a photo of him with two of the girls who was associated with the girl he had cheated on me with.
What do i do now?
Olivia
May 2, 2017 at 4:39 pm
Ok, i am on day 6 now 🙂 feels like it has been so long since we’ve actually spoken that a part of me feels numbed by it and almost used to his absence. Doesn’t mean I like it, but getting used to it. I wonder if he as well feels the same way.
Anyway, on the day that i had contacted him but he did not respond, he had also coincidentally donated to my fundraiser which i had recently started. He had done it before my call around the time he posted pictures with those girls. I thought it was really kind of him to support my cause, but is he also maybe trying to let me known he still thinks of me?
He did not respond to my messages, which makes me feel like he is trying to move on maybe, but then a day after i had called and he did not respond, he had posted a photo on social media (i dont follow him but my friends do) of a pocture he had taken of a place we had been to, with a caption “its quiet now,painfully quiet”.
I’m not sure what to think of his actions, but to stop myself from thinking so much i had deleted him off my skype recently.
What do you think is going through his mind?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 2, 2017 at 8:38 pm
it looks like he thought of you, that’s is a good sign
Olivia
April 30, 2017 at 6:07 am
Thank you Amor.
Should I do another 45 days again, or 30?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 2:06 pm
just three weeks to 30 days.. YOu’re welcome!
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 29, 2017 at 10:20 pm
if this is your first no contact, restart it..
Miranda
April 20, 2017 at 1:40 am
Hey Amor,
So my “ex” we met via online he is from Germany and im from Mexico, and things were great at the beginning, but then he would be so busy and barely talk cuz of his exams and so on and i know i really fucked up cuz i was being needy asking if he was ignoring me or so on, and we were kind of bit distant since then, that was 2 months ago, but still we would talk everyday but I started to realize that he became more distant or gave me lame excuses for not talking to me everyday anymore like “i need some time for myself” and then was “there is nothing interesting to talk about every second” or “i get annoyed if i text 24/7 with anyone” or talk some days straight then wont talk for 3 days and then again and i was really tired cuz i had already told him i didnt like that and that if he needed time for himself to letme know but ofc never happened, and he is js going to NYC in july and he several times asked me to come with him so we could meet and i bought a ticket to germany for the summer but i wanted to tell him some weeks before igo as a surprise; anyways later on he started exams again few weeks ago and we were talking a bit everyday then he talks to me then no reply for 3 days and again talks then 3 days off and last time we talked normal he got jealous cuz he thought i had a boyfriend which i dont have, and gain later no reply, 2 days after i tell him that what we had wasnt going to workout because i wanted someone who appreciated me and wanted to be there and he basically said i wasnt a priority and I told him what i really needed from the relationship and no reply again and its been a week since that, no talk from any of us, what should i do?move on and let it go or try NC and try? Cuz seems to me he doesnt give a crap about me, he said “if u can’t understand that i have things to do then fine for me”
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 26, 2017 at 2:10 pm
just keep being active in posting..but do it more in sites that the post stays like Instagram and Facebook..
Anonymous
April 19, 2017 at 11:02 am
My situation is pretty difficult and I need extra help.
I met my ex boyfriend in my hometown, in Europe. He is from the States. He was doing an Exchange year abroad post high school, before college. We went in two different high schools, but had friends in common. We madly fell in love with each other since the first time we met. Our relationship has always been extremely intense. It’s either unbelievably great, or extremely awful. When we were physically together, it was 85% of the times amazing, and 15% not so good. A pretty good percentage, if you ask me. I have never felt so deeply connected to anyone, it had me amazed how in sync we were. Our bond was the most beautiful thing in the world. He is the first person I truly trusted and opened myself with. We started dating October 2015, and left in July 2016 for a 20 days romantic vacation all around Italy. We went to Venice, Cinque Terre, Sicily, and some of the most romantic and iconic spots in the country. Everything was truly perfect. At the beginning, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to pursue a relationship with him, ’cause I knew he would’ve left me, but then I saw how genuinely and deeply he loved and cared about me, that I thought those feelings were never going to go away. He told me he was going to love me forever and never let me go, and I obviously believed him. We both had never felt so happy and never loved to that level. I was the most important person of his life, his number 1 priority, and it felt really nice. He was always thinking about me, buying me presents, I was the one maybe not as attached. My dream was to pursue my undergrad in the U.S., but I didn’t believe in myself enough. He did tons of research on opportunities and scholarships for international students, and convinced me to take a gap year after high school to work on the application. I have always been a top student with perfect marks and leadership skills, just like him.
August came, and he left me. We decided to continue our relationship long distance. He is now studying at uChicago and I went and visited him in October, with the excuse of “visiting the schools” in Chicago area. In reality, I just wanted to see him. Only 9 days after he got back in the States, we had a 4 hours phone call where he broke up with me, because his life at uni was too hectic, and he couldn’t handle the expectations of a relationship. He wanted to talk to me when he could, and not always because he had to. He just admitted to have no time for me because involved in too many activities and societies that were now priorities, and also studying applied mathematics, one of the hardest programs. He needed to think about himself first. I understood that. So we continued talking every day, but were not officially a couple. We told each other I love you, FaceTimed, acted like a couple, but were not one anymore on paper. He bought me a ticket to visit him in his hometown, Nashville, during Christmas break, so I went. When we were not physically together, we used to fight quite a bit. But whenever we saw each other in his hometown, everything was perfect again, nothing had changed. After a week with him, I went to Michigan to visit my host family from when I was an Exchange Student too, 3 years ago, and before I flew back home, I stopped three days in Chicago to spend a little bit more time with him. Even then, all good. The problem is whenever we are not together. We can’t seem to make it work. We fight all the times. I get very insecure and intolerant. He responds me after 5,6,7 hours. There is a time change of 7 hours between us, that means we exchanged one text per day.
I started to complain more and more, until I became unbearable and I am aware of it. He joined a fraternity on campus, and I got very nervous and apprehensive about it, because that involves tons of partying. I trusted him, but I just wished he could try to reassure me a bit more instead of not responding for hours and hours. FaceTime stopped. We became angry at each other and always passive aggressive and rude. However, he never stopped talking to me, even though I became toxic and suffocating. I sent him very long text messages of mere complains, telling him all the things he was doing wrong. I started feeling rejected, ’cause he refused to call me, respond, talk to me. However, I got into some really great universities both in the U.S. and U.K., and one of these universities was uChicago. We both were thrilled. Things between us started going a bit better, he told me he didn’t want to lose me, that I am the most special person he knows, there’s no one that can even be mentioned in the same sentence as me, and that he will never let go of me, that’s why he keeps talking to me even if things are stressful. He said I deserve better, and he should try to give me better and make me feel more involved in his life. At the beginning, I didn’t think uChicago was going to give me a decent financial aid package, so I gave up on that idea. However, I got into the most prestigious university in London, and thought about the possibility of spending my entire junior year at uChicago, which is a partner university of the university in London. I called him to tell him this and we talked, but as usual, I perceived him so distant and cold, he didn’t want to talk to me as it was happening quite often of late. I complained, we had a huge fight. In the next few days he kept responding me because he said he didn’t want to let go of me, it was too hard, even though the relationship became awful and we both hated it. I begged to be answered at the phone, and called 5 times, he never answered. He asked me for a few weeks apart, told me he still loves me but needs time to think and to feel less suffocated by my seemingly endless text messages. I gave him two days, then I couldn’t help it and I texted him again, telling him I was missing him and if he could call me. He didn’t respond. I sent maybe 30 texts, all long as novels. I know what you’re thinking, the worst I could’ve done, I pushed him away more. He blocked me out. The more I was texting him, the more he was avoiding and ignoring me. I was being obsessed by the situation and the feeling of rejection. I knew I didn’t deserve to be treated in that way. Until the other day, when he responded after a thousand of long texts. He said he didn’t want to have anything to do with me, that I couldn’t even give him few weeks break. He told me he hopes our relationship is over forever, that he is not in love with me anymore, and that he feels lighter and happier without me. He said he is finally ready to let go, move on and that is what he wants to do. Our relationship went from being the most romantic to an authentic nightmare. I was crushed. He had never told me he didn’t love me anymore, or that he wanted me to be gone forever. Not after everything we have shared. I never thought we could’ve gotten to this point, because for me our relationship was too solid. We fought a lot ever since we were distant, and you could tell none of us is made for a distance relationship, but our feelings were so deeply rooted that I never thought of the possibility of actually losing him forever. He said that I mean nothing to him, that he is numb to me and our relationship. He doesn’t feel anything anymore but indifference, and if he deeply thinks about me he only thinks “pain”. It is not worth pursuing anything with me because I am gone. He only gets sad, angry and irritated talking to me. He said he forgot about me and us, and he doesn’t think about it anymore. I was heartbroken. We didn’t text for a few days, then I received an email from uChicago. Due to merit and low income, I’ve got a full ride. I was already enrolled to the university in London, but I still thought that could’ve been an opportunity. I texted him to tell him the news. The same person who convinced me to apply to uChicago in the first place, or that used to call me 4 times if I didn’t reply for 80 minutes, literally begged me not to go there. He was out of his mind. He said I’ve got into some great schools, just as great if not better, and to consider those instead. He said he didn’t want anything to do with me, and that our relationship is for him over, forever. That I need to understand this. He said he panics only thinking about me being there, that if I suffocate him 5000miles away, I am completely going to ruin his experience there and cut all his freedom. He said he is scared by us, the toxicity of our relationship and terrified thinking of me there. He discourages me to go and I need to know that if I do, he is going to pretend I don’t exist. We haven’t seen each other for over three months, but I know that when he sees me, he is going to want me again, it has been like this ever since we started long distance. I am really not doing well these days, and I don’t know what I should do. I know that I love him still, I don’t know how. I am still attached to all the wonderful memories and how sweet and perfect he was with me. I can’t let go, and I don’t want to because we are just too good to each other when together. I hate life separated us and I can’t believe he begged me not go to his uni, when it is all he was hoping ever since I applied. The university in London is more suited to my personality, and I believe I will go there. But I don’t want to give up on this relationship, and I want him back. I want him to realize he made a mistake, and realize he is still in love with me but said a bunch of things only out of frustration and because he is exasperated by the situation. We were supposed to see each other in the summer, he is going to be in France for a month and then he will come in Italy for three weeks. He said he doesn’t want to see me anymore. I’ve believed and had so much hope and faith in this relationship and I just can’t believe it’s truly over. He was so lost in me that I didn’t even consider this possibility and I don’t know what happened. He told me he was in love with me one week ago, and one week later he wants me gone. It’s just senseless.
What do you think I should do? Do you think there is still hope for us? How to go from here?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 25, 2017 at 9:56 pm
Hi Anonymous,
do you want to try the advice above?
Sam
April 17, 2017 at 7:01 pm
This is a great site and I can see you have put in a tremendous amount of work, well done! I met my bf online a year ago, we are long distance but see each other every two weeks and I spend weekends at his. I’m very communicative, open, patient, tolerant and he is a good guy, mindful, sweet, self aware. We text all day and he responds to everything i say. When I speak with him and try to get clarity on us and where we’re going he is a master deflector, it’s actually impressive. Or he says nothing but it’s not out of ego. I seriously don’t know how he does it so nicely. The other day he did it so well by saying “I don’t want to change the subject but that ice cream store blah blah”. Amazing. Anyway, he has a highly stressful job and it’s really really getting to him and his adhd. Last week he sent a long text explaining how he needed the weekend to himself and that he cares for me and doesn’t know what to do because he knows he is hurting me with his indecisiveness. This is the most he’s communicated with me but it was wrapped inside needing the weekend to himself, like it was so much about the weekend but reading between the lines it was about us. I feel like he’s about to end things and I would really like some advice or a link to another part of your site. This page is gold, but we are still together. Thanks so much!!
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 24, 2017 at 6:25 pm
Hi Sam,
check this one:
How Do I Prevent My Boyfriend From Ending Our Relationship
Amaia
April 17, 2017 at 2:45 am
Hey EBR,
So My ex and were on a LDR for 10 months have made the effort and also by the nature of our jobs we got to see each other pretty much every month. We went through a period of no having too much contact, in February he is a very busy man, with a lot of projects that are growing, he travels a lot, lots of jet lag, and was having some personal issues. so his life is a bit complicated to say the least… Anyway in February he came to visit in Montreal, he lives in Miami… But he mainly came for business purposes. We had a discussion because we only saw each other one night he got “tied” up with work so I didn’t see him again and he made me feel like I was completely unimportant.. I got pretty upset and sent him a big text as he would never give me any priority in his life. Anyway we discussed and broke up.. 3 days later I messaged.. apologized, no reply. He deleted me of social media.. I didn’t Say anything, Few day later he messaged me but I didn’t reply. It’s been more than 30 days and I haveI followed the NC rule I know he will be in Montreal next week for business, so I was thinking on paying a surprise visit to give him back a chain he loved and left at my place last time.. should I wait and see if he would contact me, or should I show up to his event be casual, sweet, and go from there?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 22, 2017 at 1:44 pm
If you improved yourself and were active in posting in the past month, start with initiating texts..if not, restart the count and do that first
Long distance break up
April 15, 2017 at 12:41 am
Me and my ex met when i was in Australia we dated for like 4-5 months and then traveled asia together. There were some tough times during that period as we had only just started dating and then practically started with with each other. But we got through it and near the end of asia was the first time i told her i loved her and she said it back. We were so strong. The plan was for her to go back to Australia (to re-new her passport) and then come to be with me in New Zealand where i am now. So we left each other in January and we were both on agreement about the long distance and were so looking forward to seeing each other again. But then we had an argument over something ridiculous and things got misunderstood via text message and then i said some things that i shouldn’t have in the heat of the moment. I tried to rekindle things but she was just like no im not doing this and has now blocked me off everything no contact. We “broke up” in march 2017. The last phone call was with her saying some nasty things but i know its because she was angry and her friends had been getting in her head telling her things. I know her heart and i know she wouldn’t mean any of those things. I plan to fly out and “suprise her” in Sydney at the beginning of may. But i just want to know if you think thats a good idea ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 16, 2017 at 11:33 am
I think that’s too soon to do that.. why not try no contact rule first?
Olivia
April 15, 2017 at 12:40 am
I am on day 9 no contact with my ex now, I am being active, going out etc. But I did not start no contact immediately after the break up. What are the chances that he will miss me less and move on as no contact progresses and we are off each other’s radar?
Olivia
April 18, 2017 at 2:13 am
Thank you, I finally understand what you mean. So I have to do my best in moving on (even without moving on). I recently changed my whatsapp profile picture to a picture of me when I was out, and I made my facebook public but not sure how often he uses and social media. My insta is private but I’ve linked my recent insta photos on facebook.
I’m on day 12 no contact and have posted three instagram photos so far, and changed my whatsapp profile picture. I have also been very active, exercising everyday and hanging out with friends but because I have a very important exam coming up, most of my days of spending time with friends is done at their house or my house as we study. Also, I logged him out of my netflix (haha) cause I could see that he was still using it and I changed my password. How is my progress? And was logging him out of my netflix the right thing to do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 25, 2017 at 12:24 pm
it’s not wrong but that’s ok.. that’s your account, you have the right to do that.. that’s good that you changed your profile pic.. keep improving day by day
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 16, 2017 at 11:28 am
it’s a small chance if you’re active in posting.. because it’s human nature that he will wonder on why you stopped talking.. and if he thinks that what you’re doing is not real, then you have to patient and to keep improving yourself while slowly building rapport. Don’t focus on the negative because you will act upon that. Come from a strong mindset, instead of thinking how low chances will be, think of how you’re going to hook him in your game.
Wendy
April 13, 2017 at 9:21 am
My boyfriend broke up with me after our one year and some months relationship.. We were students in the same school before he graduated.. So it became a long distance relationship. . And then he started having problems getting a job and concentrating on anything else including me.. I noticed he lost interest and asked him about it.. He said he wanted space.. But sometimes it gets so bad we fight.. And sometimes break up and make up again.. But we had another fight yesterday and he broke up with me and said it’s what he wants.. Can I get him back?.. I plan to start the NC rule after attending his sisters wedding I promised him I would attend tomorrow.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 13, 2017 at 7:14 pm
Let’s see first what happens during the wedding..maybe you can talk it out
Melissa
April 13, 2017 at 6:42 am
Good evening, I just really need help. I met a man in Mexico last October and we kept up communication. He lives in Canada and I live in PA. We decided we wanted to meet up again and I went to visit him in January. We started our official relationship. Things were amazing! We communicated and talked about future plans. While I was there he said he loved me and was drawn to me and asked about out long term plans, which we discussed. He brought up everything, as I knew better than to push him into something he wasn’t ready for. I made an impromptu trip up for his birthday in the middle of March for the weekend. Again, things were amazing. I hit it off with his friends and his family (again). They were making all of these plans for me to come do things this summer. I felt like I really belonged and I felt really secure in the relationship. He seemed a little stressed the week or so after I came back and I asked him what was wrong and he assured me he was just struggling because it was his late father’s birthday. He said I was amazing and the “open when” letters I left him really helped. After that talk things went back to being amazing, and I kept making sure to let him know I was here for him. His best friend broke up with his girlfriend because she was moving two and a half hours away and the friend considering that “long distance.” My ex then assured me that there was nothing to be worried about and he would be more reassuring. He said he missed me and wished I was there. We had plans for him to come here in May. Out of the blue he made our relationship public on social media and even changed his profile photo to one of us on a Sunday. That night I called him and we spoke on the phone and he said he loved me and was glad I called and that he was buying his plane tickets the next day. He assured me three times that he was buying his plane tickets. The next evening, on Monday, he called and told me it was over. And all he gave me were cliche reasons to end the relationship. He said that he “lost feelings” for me. I had just seen him three weeks ago! He said it wasn’t when I was up there and that he lost feelings for me over the course of three weeks. I just don’t believe him and want a real answer. Why would he say all of those things on a sunday and then leave on MOnday? And his mother contacted me on facebook and said he was just afraid of the distance. What do I do? I am so upset over this. Sorry for the long comment. I had to delete him off Snapchat because it was too hard to see his stories and be tempted to contact him, and I also unfollowed him on instagram, because again, while he never really used to post anything, suddenly he was active in posting. I unfollowed him on fb, but kept him as a friend. I just can’t bear to be without him as we talked long term and I really saw myself with him and his family. I was willing to move there.
Melissa
April 18, 2017 at 4:14 pm
Hi Amor, thanks for the reply. I am doing nc and being active in posting. So far we are still friends on fb, but on Saturday after I posted a photo of me out with friends he unfollowed me. Should I continue with the no contact or should I reach out?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 25, 2017 at 4:14 pm
Just continue
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 13, 2017 at 6:53 pm
try nc.. his friend might have convinced him that it’s hard to do ldr.
Ala
April 9, 2017 at 10:58 am
Hi, we broke up last Sunday and I just broke the nc rule on Friday. He did not respond. I am feeling worse then before so even for that matter don’t break it. You feel like its a good idea but then when he is ignoring you, you feel 100 times worse.
We were in a distance relationship since late January, I was coming back and forth. He was in Greece, me in Poland. He always said we will work this out, we will handle this together. And it was going good I think, we were talking every day, fb, whatsapp, skype…we was always professing how much he loves me and misses me. And up until Saturday before the break up it was like that, all good I thought. And then he called and said and he hates to be the bad one as I don’t or am too scared to talk about this (which I always tried but he skipped the topic) so he broke up. The reasoning he loves me too much and cannot ask me to wait for him who knows how long. I said I could go back fo a bit to wait with him but he refused as he knew I hated the job…I am just so confused now. He is not offering any more explanation or talking. Which now helped me realized that it was just empty words on his part. He said in last message he loves me so much he cannot cut me off from his life and we can share important things that are happening in our lives. But I just lost hope. I will keep the nc rule now. It just hurts so much and I wished it would be that easy for me to cut him off. But I love him to much and it feels like someone ripped my heart out. Just need the time do grieve I think.
Do you think he might break the silence some day? This site helps a lot to deal with the loss.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 10, 2017 at 7:31 pm
Hi Ala,
out of human nature of going about routine, he probably will miss you.