How To Get A Long Distance Relationship Ex Boyfriend Back

5,236 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”

Devastated

March 20, 2017 at 6:21 am

30 days of NC so far. Long story short, I got rid of the instagram account he requested me to follow. And I found out that he met someone new through tinder and went to a trip together with her. So It was really painful going through all that and I decided to move on… I think i deserve better. What I don’t get is that he put the profile pic on instagram with the one we took in a very meaningful trip together about an year ago. He’s so dumb and mean
Lana

March 19, 2017 at 3:35 pm

Hello,

I have known my ex for about 2 years. We fought in the summer, after he left things were intense so he talked bad to me and at the same day I got another bf just to let him move on. We didn’t talk until November. He texted me drunk early in the morning telling me sorry all the time. He had made out with a random girl at a party, they told me he was saying my name. I told him I broke up with the guy after some days and it was just my reaction and we got back together but then fought again as we both were in exam period and had no time for each other. Around January we got back together again after I told him to try. Failure. For the last two months we talk friendly though we’ve talked about this many times, I tried to convince him, he says he cares but feels nothing, he’s depressed with his life. I even tried to go stay with him for a while, he said he didn’t want me to do this for him. I’m in nc for about 10 days, no text, no nothing, it ended with me trying. Idk what to do to save this, I want to help him but I think he’s disappointed.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 24, 2017 at 1:55 pm

Hi Lana,

you’re in ldr? do you want to try the advice above,?

J

March 17, 2017 at 5:20 am

i want to talk to him, update him on my life and such, but at the same time i dont wanna ruin anything. Like at this rate i wanna talk to him as a friend, and want him to be happy to talk to me again….but he probably wont be thrilled talking to me….or he will have neutral responses. why does it hurt so much still…..i have been doing stuff and going out, meeting new people, etc…but nothing works…..hes still on my mind. i love him. and i want him to give another chance. i hope god is listening sometimes. thats how much i really want it.
Lexi

March 16, 2017 at 6:17 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up a few days ago. I guess it was kind of mutual since we both said we were unhappy with the current situation our relationship was in. We dated long distance for over a year. The first 10 months were great, and we made the distance work even though it was difficult. But around December he started saying he wasn’t sure our relationship had a future and that he wasn’t sure he was ready for a huge commitment. We are in college. We stayed together after discussing it and agreeing to communicate more about what is bothering us because at this point I’m not looking for a commitment like marriage either. Things got better and then they got worse. He started talking to me less, being less excited to come visit or for me to go visit him, stopped saying he missed me and started playing video games and getting black out drunk with his friends more. I was unhappy and told him so and he said he was unhappy with the distance and that we’d grown apart and he used these behaviors to cope. We agreed to end things then. I know it was for the best, but part of me misses how things used to be and wants him to realize it wasn’t the relationship that made him miserable but the expectations that he put on himself and perhaps some mental health issues of his own. I’m doing no contact right now for a clean break. Is there a chance he’ll miss me and realize he didn’t appreciate me when he had me, or should I just stop thinking about it and move on with my life?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2017 at 7:52 pm

Hi Lexi,

try the no contact period and start improving and being active in improving yourself and in social media and then slowly building rapport after nc..if it doesn’t work, then move on

Nicole

March 16, 2017 at 2:07 pm

Hi! My ex (who I have known for more than 10 years) broke up with me after over a year together, shortly before starting a traveling job that would last for about a year or so, I think because of fear of commitment and a little grass-is-greener syndrome (He never said he had a problem with long distance. He actually even said he thinks I am still the person he wants to marry.). People kept implying we should live together once he started this job since he had to give up his apartment, and it freaked him out – he said he was getting anxiety attacks and didn’t want to ‘lead me on’ while he figured things out. So I found this site, and I actually just finished a 45 no contact. I re-initiated contact, and he has always responded to me, and I’m on day 7 of ‘tide theory’. At first he was texting/initiating me a good bit, but after seeing I am limiting my texts compared to how we used to talk, he has stopped initiating but still responds to me. Anyway, my question is that he still has some things at my house and my house key. Since we’ve dated in the past and I always come back, I think he thinks I will always be waiting for him. So even though I am building rapport (I don’t want to get friendzoned again), at what point should I mention I want my key back? I think asking for it back will prompt him to realize I am not waiting for him, but I want to do it at the right point so I don’t seem like I’m just doing it to hurt him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2017 at 6:19 pm

Hi Nicole,

by now, anytime is ok because nc is over..

Jocel

March 15, 2017 at 8:14 am

What should i do? my ex boyfriend and I is in long distance relationship for 7 or 8 months now. He’s finishing he’s studies in another state but this april he’s going home here for good, We fight a lot these past few days. but since before it’s on and off relationship, he’s practically when it comes to life he always mentioned that. So he’s graduate and me next year but i am a working student so i pay his expenses for his training because he’s taking maritime engineering and then tomorrow his Graduation day. Yesterday he blocked mo on facebook i messaged him like i dont mind waiting for him. Im always here when e needs me. I remove my simcard yesterday. I dont know what to do he never did that before he also remove our nicknames even in messenger. Before when even we have a fight he just blocked me on messenger and then remove it afterwards, now is different. I think he have someone else already i read their conversation her old schoolmate that is graduate as aviation logistic this year. So im guessing there is something between them. I nag at times but i apologized afterwards. I can’t resist he also know that. What should i do now? is he still loves me or not anymore?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2017 at 1:39 pm

Hi Jocel,

shouldn’t he be the one worried if you got tires of him.. You’re giving too much. This time, put yourself first. There has to be balance in a relationship.. try the no contact period for at least 30 days. just focus in healing and improving yourseld

J

March 15, 2017 at 6:01 am

Hello again its me, i hope you remmeber mee! He officially deleted pics of us on his instagram but left one pic of us, he deleted my i love you comments from when we dated on his profile pictures, like i rly dont think he ever wants to get back with me for real in the future when hes back from military…. i havent talked to him for a week so far….after 7 months of chasing and talking and asking for a chance. He said he will never give me another chance

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2017 at 1:22 pm

Hi J,

what’s your plan now? Are you going to keep chasing him?

Maria

March 14, 2017 at 3:06 pm

Hi. So I met my ex one year ago and we started dating. We were together for 7 months, and we were the happiest couple on earth. For the first time in my life (I’m 28) I thought about having kids and getting married. We were perfect. Or that’s what I thought. So after 7 months he got a scholarship and had to move overseas. I told him we should break up but he was horrified about it and he said we had to do it. He said I could trust him and we would work it out. So I did. I trusted him. We texted everyday. He called me everyday.
2 months later I traveled and we had one amazing month together. I started having doubts when I left, and he didn’t even say a thing about seeing each other again.
Anyways, we were both two depressed and he was too stressed with his exams. It’s been 2 months since I came back home, and yesterday he broke up with me saying that it’s not working and there is no solution AT ALL. I totally freaked out, although he had been acting weird the last days and I knew something was wrong. I feel very sad, mad and betrayed. I was very patient and supportive all the time. I cried a lot on the Skype call and tried to give solutions, but he just doesn’t want to work things out.
Do you think it’s worth it to use the NC rule? what am I supposed to do during this time? is it the same for LDR?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2017 at 9:03 am

Hi Maria,

if you dont want to move on yet, yes, you can still use the advice above..

ALEX

March 14, 2017 at 9:57 am

Hey. My boyfriend and I had been doing a year of long distance interstate. After a year, I finally made the decision to move to his state. We were living with his parents while we were saving money to move out.
In this relationship, there was an age difference and we have broken up before. He’s 19 and i’m 22. He told me that it isn’t the right time for us and that sometime in the future it is possible for us to pick things back up. He’s also scared that he’s made the wrong decision and that i’ll move on and it’s too late.
We’ve been broken up for a week now and in contact, but I am starting the NC rule tomorrow (I contacted him today). He seems happy and busy and replies nicely to my messages.
Also, should Inkeep him on snapchat so that he sees what i’m up to while i’m not contacting him or should I delete him.
We broke up in the heat of a fight and I don’t think either of us were thinking very rationally, he said it all got too hard and he wanted out.

Pls help haha thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2017 at 7:46 am

Hi Alex,

where do you live now? Yes, you should keep him in snapchat and be active in other social media platforms too..

Harpija

March 13, 2017 at 12:47 am

Hey, now I’m a bit confused what to do. We were dating for 1.5years. 3months we were living together (we were both abroad and there we met) and then 1 year (during this time I came to his country, because of job 200km from each other) we were on LDR, but we chatted and talked every day via Skype. And we were meeting 2month for weekends. We broke up 1,5months ago. In this period, for one week I was asking why, he said that he wants to be friends with me, but if I need a help he will always help me because I’m very important for him. I said that we can’t be friends. After one week I met him and took my stuff, then I texted him: “Okay, we can be friends”, but actually I started NC. He started to search for me, I was answering, but with short messages. One time we talked via phone, he didn’t want to hang up and asked why I can’t talk longer. After 3weeks of broke up, I had a birthday and he texted me that I will receive some present from him via post because he wants me to be happy. On my birthday I texted him, that I can’t take these presents. He said that I should keep them, he has as well many presents from me. I explained that is a bit different and with such moves as he does, he takes someone’s else places in my life and my heart. After that message, he didn’t text me at all. After that I really started to move on and on my Facebook and Instagram profile was many photos from trips, clubs, sports achievements and so on and he liked all of them. So, I texted him in 2 weeks twice. Last time (on Thursday) we chatted and we flirted a bit and I said that according to tradition in my country for presents I should invite him for a beer. I gave him 3days when I’m free this month and he chose the furthest one explaining to me that on other days he has plans as class meeting and concert. By the way one of that concert night he liked some more pictures on my profile. Anyway, we agreed on the date of a meeting in April. Today I asked him does he has time to speak with me, that I could practice german (yeah he’s a german and I’m learning german). He said that today no, but maybe tomorrow. I said ok. But I think, tomorrow I’ll text him that I can’t. I find all this situation strange because, before that birthday message about someone’s else places, I texted him once about practising german and he called me in 1hour and he was searching for me. And now it seems to be that he pushes me away, even though he always wanted to keep contact after broke up. What should I do now? I don’t understand what is happening.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2017 at 10:34 am

Hi Harpija,

the proper way of doing nc is total no contact of at least 21 days but in your case it should be 30 days.. and to be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media.. if you have done that proceed to slowly building rapport through texts firsts and then calls and then meet ups.. follow the link below for your texting guide..
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

G

March 12, 2017 at 3:28 am

Hi. My ex who ghosted me 4 years ago, got married over a year ago, contacted me via facebook message last december. I’m not a 100% sure but I think he’s divorced. He kept texting me in Dec with small talk. I wasn’t sure what this situation was and disliked small talk so I did the NC in Jan and it worked. I gave it about 45 days, my birthday was coming up (Feb 16th) so I waited a bit longer to see if he’d contact me first. He left me a “happy bday” on my facebook page. I texted him first a few days after my birthday. He sounded happy to hear from me. He even started “liking” my posts since Jan, which is unusual. He even asked me for my phone number in the beginning and kept asking me if I had plans coming his way (he lives in Canada, I live an ocean away) and he said “I haven’t seen you in a long time. I want to see you this year.” So when I said I have plans this fall to visit the States, he said that was too far away and told me he had plans to visit where I am, sometime soon this year. He sounded desperate. I replied back to him saying to let me know if dates are fixed and asked him about his parents (trying to keep the convo going). But he hasn’t texted me back after this. Its been almost 2 weeks now. Did I say/do something wrong? Its hard trying to keep a conversation going, especially when we’re living oceans apart. We had a LDR. Facebook is the only form of contact we have right now. He hasn’t called me yet either. I’m running out of topics to keep this going and I dont want to bring up our past relationship yet. I want to get him back, if he’s really divorced. I dont want to loose him again. What do I do next? Plz help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 14, 2017 at 6:26 pm

Hi G,

I think you need to make it clear first with him if he’s divorced… because if he’s just playing with youx that can be a reason on why didn’t reply anymore now..

Sheryl

March 10, 2017 at 6:31 am

Hello!! Am a bit unsure if my comment got submitted as it disappeared!:/

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 9:29 am

Hi Sheryl,

hmm it’s still in my pending comments. I’m going to save your query for similar cases. Thank you for letting us know.
Going back to you, I think you should still try nc.. if it doesn’t work out, move on. You’re right, it’s hard to say that it’s a real relationship if you haven’t met at all…

Sheryl

March 8, 2017 at 5:10 am

Hi I published a really Long comment about my situation. It got submitted and awaited moderation and then disappeared

But basically, what are the odds of NC working if it’s a strictly Internet relationship with an initial plan of meeting in 2018? At this stage we were at 1.5 years of LDR strictly Internet… Thanks.

Sheryl

March 30, 2017 at 12:25 am

Hi Amor so basically Im into almost 4th week of NC.

27 March 2017: (as per my request previously when I tried to be friends with him but failed) He updated me about his life and his lessons on teaching english as a foreign language on the penpal website that we met. Also, as immediately after the break, I sent a lot of messages there which were quite heartbreaking and asking for answers and that sort of thing. He basically addressed 2 issues, saying theres no other girl and that it was not a game to him and he hoped that after some time to think through it clearly as well? However, he said that he didn’t want this (I assume writing there) to be a habit as he doesn’t have internet at the moment and going on to the website on his PC takes a huge load of his data, but he updated me since I told him to. He asked be briefly about my life and also the parcel he sent me as well in a sentence. As well as ended off with a friendly comment.

29 March 2017: So I read the message he sent 2 days ago only recently and he was online on the website a few hours after.
Basically, he also updated his profile on 26 March before replying me only one day later.

Question now is: Do I pretend to be over him and say I am doing good, going out on dates and all? Or do I not reply him at all, as it seems that he isn’t truly interested in knowing whats happening and that he’s extremely fixated on his decision not to get back? And if I do reply, do I reply on the website or on text (as I have his number) and am not blocked…?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 30, 2017 at 5:41 pm

Hi Sheryl,

you’re in nc yet, so don’t reply. You didn’t send the previous message during right? did you improve yourself and were you active in posting?
Sheryl

March 19, 2017 at 6:48 am

Hi Amor thank you!

I’m in no contact week 2 now . I have removed my profile pic and last seen from my WhatsApp but not block him. I’m unsure if he thinks I blocked him, but I’m sure that he still has me as a contact on his phone (I can see his last seen but not my Friend who’s not his contact)

Will keep you guys updated! Meanwhile I’m trying really hard to focus on myself but the pain still comes back every night
Sheryl

March 15, 2017 at 2:05 am

Hi Amor!

Also to be honest, I think he’s not the kind who can do a LDR. He had a LDR for 3 months once, but was skeptical about it. But some friend of mine thought that, it could be that, he met me and wanted to give LDR a shot, but realised he couldn’t do it. In this case, would what I am doing work to get him back? Especially now that he’s probably very convinced that he doesnt want an LDR?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2017 at 12:44 pm

there’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but you’re more likely to be friendzoned if you kept contact right away after the breakup.. dont worry, he’ll get curious and check your account, so make your posts public
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 9:29 am

Hi Sheryl,

hmm it’s still in my pending comments. I’m going to save your query for similar cases. Thank you for letting us know.
Going back to you, I think you should still try nc.. if it doesn’t work out, move on. You’re right, it’s hard to say that it’s a real relationship if you haven’t met at all…

Sheryl

March 8, 2017 at 3:31 am

Hi Chris and team! I understand that you guys think the strictly Internet LDR isn’t a real relationship as we have never met before.

Me and my SO got together in a really strange way on the Internet, starting off as friends while I was in an unhappy relationship and then getting together. We have been on the Internet for 1.5 years till now with the intention to meet in 2018 (when he closes the GAP though not entirely, by teaching English in a nearby country). The plan was to continue a LDR for another 5 years (while I am stuck to my home country for 5 years with a bond). He’d want to travel around the continent and also continue a LDR… Everything was looking good and the plan is progressing rather smoothly. But 3 weeks ago he suddenly broke up with me after an argument and said he couldn’t do a 5 year LDR etc. He blocked me for 2 weeks but I was kinda crazy and psycho, texting his Mum once to say thank you and his friends etc. He unblocked me after 2 weeks and wanted to remain friends and acted like we were never together.. And talks about things very rather detached. He avoids all my talk about the relationship and said that he’s hurting too but he thinks this is the best way for both of us. He said that he had let his emotional side of things screw up the logic side of things when we started.

During the 1.5 years we were really close, texted and talked Everyday on the phone with occasional Skype.

I have decided not to reply him for 4 days, but I’m so confused as to why he’s not texting me first (maybe he’s really wanting to move on, despite him saying feelings have not changed).

Do you think I should try the NO contact rule as well and that it would work…? He claims that he’s also trying to adapt to not talk to me but it seems like he’s doing well as he was the one who decided to initiate it….It’s just we are about to meet in another year and it’s quite a waste in my opinion.. Thank you!

Sheryl

March 14, 2017 at 11:59 pm

Thanks Amor!

I’ve been trying to keep my mind off him. However he hasn’t unblocked me on Facebook, only WhatsApp. So he can’t see my progress and my moving on (which I guess is what he wants?) I turned off my last seen and WhatsApp profile picture for now as well. But I don’t think he’d notice:/

It’s quite selfish of him to end us all of a sudden when he realises that he cannot do the distance 1.5years in
Sheryl

March 11, 2017 at 12:56 am

Hi Amor! Thanks for the reply:)

Today marks 1 week into NC. Thing is I’m pretty sure he’d reply me if I text him after NC. He seems like he really wants me as a Friend without all the LDR distance problems. I’m just worried that if I initiate contact, he’d think I’ve moved on and am okay with being friends only (which I’m not). I would try NC no doubt, but is there a chance where he’d be friendly and all and the romantic feelings gone?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 14, 2017 at 4:58 pm

that’s too early to lose the romantic feelings and that’s why you need to be really active in improving yourself during and after nc, to make him regret not having you.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 9:29 am

Hi Sheryl,

hmm it’s still in my pending comments. I’m going to save your query for similar cases. Thank you for letting us know.
Going back to you, I think you should still try nc.. if it doesn’t work out, move on. You’re right, it’s hard to say that it’s a real relationship if you haven’t met at all…

Devastated

March 7, 2017 at 6:16 am

It’s been my NC for 3 weeks so far. In the last conversation we had, I asked him to start over again and he said he’d write me back in regard to the question. And he did not apparently…so far… and all of a sudden he requested to follow me on instagram (not automatic cause I blocked him on fb) what should i do? I’m thinking of continue on NC and not accept it cause the account is full of pics of us when we were together and I barely use it. And also he did not respond to me on skype. What should i do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 10:02 am

Hi Devastated,

yup,.dont approve it..

Anonymous

March 5, 2017 at 2:19 pm

Hi. I’ve tried his before and it worked! He came back to me last december. But recently, we had a fight the last time he went home. It is about me getting jealous, and he told me that I was insecure and my insecurities are causing harm because I always complain to him. I said I will change if he wanted to fix this. But he never responds. It has been a weekam already since we have no contact. I got irritated that I told him earlier that I hate him already because this is the first time we don’t settle things. I just want to be clear that we are just in a fight but I feel that we were on a break. I asked him but still no reply. Will NC still work for the second time around?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 7, 2017 at 1:07 pm

Hi Anonymous,

check this one:
How Do I Prevent My Boyfriend From Ending Our Relationship

J

March 4, 2017 at 6:39 pm

okay so i got abit drunk last night and texted him asking for another chance and he said he doesnt want to give me a chance no matter what. I messed up and I dont know if one year left can help make him miss me abit do you think it will? you always say NC makes them miss u or at least wonder but my case is diff since he knows why i am not talking to him for that chance. but i got so drunk last night and fucked it all up HELP

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 5, 2017 at 8:01 pm

Hi J,

it’s not a guarante… But you keep doing the same thing, of course you’ll get the same results right?

Lu

March 4, 2017 at 3:27 pm

Hi. I wanted to ask something I havent seen mentioned before. Basically he broke up with me due to my mental issues – depressed (im working on them now, i havent before) and I said some stuff durign the relationships were mean. While we had a lot of fun too it was just random episodes. He said he is too tired now and cant do it anymore. Do I still have a chance? He said he still loves me and 2 weeks before break up that i stole his heart. We had been together for 1.5 year and known each other for 2 years. the last 2 weeks prior to break up has been the worst in a while for me. Its been going on off and on for about a year now. Anyways I got help now so im better. I contacted him after 10 days to let him know im doing better. I would like to talk to him about the things and clear it out. Ideas please?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 4, 2017 at 8:14 pm

Hi Lu,

Is it 10 days just after the break up? That’s not going to convince anybody that you are better. I think you need to do at least 30 or 45 day no contact period and then after that slowly build rapport.

Devastated

March 3, 2017 at 12:37 pm

Hi it’s been 17 days of my nc so far, which I’m going to continue til 45 as you recommended. So far, no msg, no contact, nothing from him. Although he did mention about going on a trip for a week, it’s still hard not to miss him. I know there might be nothing you can help with at this point but just wanted to share. I’m trying to keep myself busy with studying and other things but what else I could do?

Devastated

March 7, 2017 at 4:57 am

He just created a new account and requested to follow my instagram… after he got rid of his previous account (shared with me) right after our breakup. It’s not an automatic request cause I blocked him on fb. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 10:02 am

Hi Devastated,

yup,.dont approve it..
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2017 at 11:16 pm

Hi Devastated,

that’s actually common for exes.. Check this one:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant

Joy

March 2, 2017 at 2:35 pm

Hi! On here again. I’m finding it so hard to follow the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro book. I tried doing what I read but it’s hard cause he only goes online at work cause you doesn’t have wifi at home. But he can’t keep messaging me cause he’s at work, so how do I get the flow? Also, when I message him he answers but sometimes he doesn’t he just reads it why? Should I be messaging him everyday? I think he might get annoyed. Plus, I think he has a new girl. Which I’m sorry to say is a S**t. But I think that’s what attracted him to her. What can I do and say to him? I’m so lost now. Help!
Thank you!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2017 at 12:11 am

Hi Joy,

That’s not sounding good. What about text messages? Doesn’t he have mobile phone load for that? If he’s hasn’t answered for the third time, that means it’s better to move on.

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